The Anxious Introvert
Introvert Quiet Homebody Shy
Anxiety
Anti-social
The. Everday. Struggle. Wheather it’s rooted deeply in a lack of motivation or my extreme laziness, or even the anxiety. I constantly find myself watching time pass by. I spend hours on my phone scrolling through dozens of posts of people living their lives. There’s a hit of envy, but it passes. Then the tingling sensation tickles the tips of my fingers signaling that too much time has passed. In the end, I stare at the ceiling to give my hands a break, but my mind stays in constant motion thinking of all the things I could be doing. If my ceiling could talk I know for a fact it would judge me for my annoyingly vicious cycle.
...reading
...music Like most people my age, I would die without my cellphone. Not because I am in dire need to be in constant communication with my 3 friends. But because my phone allows me to connect to my little worlds that distract me from the impending doom of real life. Even if I am surrounded by people, my phone will protect my sanity. Without them I don’t know what I would do. In those worlds there are strangers or anxiety. Just me.
My. Little. World.
...anime
...kdramas
...my sanity
...it’s where I feel most comfortable
My. Safe. Space I wholeheartedly believe the safety of one’s bed cannot be replaced by anyone or anything. It is where I go when I’m sad, happy, anxious, excited, angry, and every other emotion that is possible. I spend most of my time there for a reason.
Tiny. Adventures. ...my anxiety can take a backseat for today My FOMO and envy eventually spill over and I force myself to get out of bed and into the real world. I dream and plan out big adventures in my head, but that’s really all I make of them. Dreams and plans. But every once in a while I venture out into the outside world for “tiny adventures”, they give me a dose of serotonin, a sense of achievment, and some human interaction, so I know how to act in the outside world. For whenever I’m ready to go out again.
To. Future. Adventures.
I first began to thrive during the COVID-19 pandemic. It was as if my time had come to shine. And shine I did, for several months. Almost a whole year. Until the lonliness hit.
I very much enjoyed my “me time” and being alone, but I very much hated being loney. It sucks. As an anxious introvert I absolutely hate going out of my comfort zone. This pandemic forced me to leave my safe place in order to avoid the lonliness I dreaded. I constantly am being pushed to do things I don’t want to do. The outcome is quite nice, but there is so much work to do in order to achieve it. It’s exhausting, I don’t understand how people do it. But, I guess there’s nothing wrong with leaving the safe place every once in a while.
Independence
Shy
Confidence
Introvert
Quiet
Me
“Not yet” -Asta
Photography and Design Leslie Trejo