My 10 Keys to Successful Aging

By Marc Middleton - Growing Bolder

Successful aging in an ageist culture is not easy. And there is no right or wrong way to do it. Growing Bolder CEO Marc Middleton offers 10 keys to successful aging that he has learned from active, happy and healthy, men and women in their 80s 90s and 100s.

There are some who say that we should never use the termsuccessful aging. They believe it’s ageist because it turns aging into a binary event: either you’re a success at it or you’re a failure. I think that’s absurd. Success is different for all of us,and we each have the right to define it for ourselves. Teaching kindergarten and shaping young minds might represent success to one person, while running a global corporation might represent success to another. What makes a successful marriage, business or vacation? You get to choose. Likewise, you get to decide what successful aging means to you.

For me, the broad strokes arepretty simple. I want to remain active, healthy, productive, and independent for as long as I can. I want to be available for whatever new opportunities and experiences might present themselves. I want to be able to say, “Yes!”

These 10 keys will, I believe, dramatically increase my odds becausethey’reinformed bytwodecades of studying,interviewingand learning from hundreds of ordinary people living extraordinary lives into their 80s, 90s, and even 100s. These are the lessonsI’velearned from active centenarians and the otherRockStars ofAging®.

1.Change your belief system about what’s possible.

This is jobNo.1,because we live in an ageist culture that leads us to fear and resent growing older. The damage is quickly passed from our minds into our bodies. We anticipate the perceived negative benchmarks of aging so strongly that we all but guarantee that they’ll come to pass. What the mind believes, the body embraces.

2.Prehabilitate.

Prehabilitation is simply positive lifestyle modification. It’s preparing for the inevitable health challenges and physical setbacks that are part of the human condition. The types of interventions available to us when we suffer those setbacks,and the extent and speed of our recovery afterward,are determined by our health andwellbeing at the time — not by our age. That makes regular exercise, better nutrition, good sleeping habits,and stress reduction aging’s ultimate no-brainer.

3. Adapt andaccommodate.

Thesingle most common denominator shared bythose who live active lives into their 90s and 100sis loss. The key isnotto mourn what’s lost but to celebrate what remains. To not identify with limitation butratheridentifywithpossibility.To adapt to and accommodate the loss.Grandma Moses had a passion forembroidery.Shehad to give it up in her late 70s after developing a debilitating case of arthritis.She could have easily lost a creative passion that gave her life purpose.Instead,she took up painting because her arthritic fingers could still hold a big brush. The rest is art history. Sheremained happily engaged in something she loveduntil her death at 101.

4. Havepurposeinyourlife.

Purpose fuels the life force. It’s important to have something that gets us out of bed every morning.We need unfinished business.It’s common to hear about people passing away not long after retiring from a lengthy career or following the death of a spouse.That’slargely because the job or the relationship provided purpose. Your purpose doesn’t have to be profound. It must simply move you to action.It could bepainting,as it was for Grandma Moses.

5. Becurious andneverstoplearning.

Curiosity leads directly to lifelong learning:the ongoing, self-motivated pursuit of knowledge. Lifelong learning helps usadapt to change andstay in thejob market.Itpromotes brain health, creates social connection, increases happiness, reducesstress,andleads to a multi-dimensional life.

6Love.

The two most common questions we ask ourselves just before death are:“Was I loved?” and “Did I love?” In other words, love is the true source of happiness. It’s also an important component of health. Research has proven that love raises our immunity, lowers our blood pressure,and reduces stress and depression. And it doesn’t have to betheromantic kind of love. Close friendships and loving family have the same effect.

7.Staysociallyengaged.

We’re social animals who are hardwired to engage with others. It’s in our DNA. When we’re separated from the herd, we decline rapidly. Social relationships have a profound influence on mental and physical health, mortality risk,and longevity. It’s important to pick our friends wisely,though,because healthrelated attitudes—positive and negative—spread rapidly throughout social networks.Active, healthy, happy friends are thevaccine againstsickness, depression and cognitive decline.Community is immunity.

8. Avoid Negativity.

Much has been written about the power of positive thinkingbut little about the power of negative thinking. Research reveals that negative begets negative far more than positive begets positive. While positive thinking alone won’t ensure the success ofany endeavor, negative thinking alone will quickly doom it. Negative thinking leads directly to anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, unhealthy behaviors,and ultimately, sickness. As we age, positivity is important but avoiding negativity is crucial.

9.Say Yes. Be an Amateur.

As we age, wehave toresist the urge toregressinto that which is comfortable and familiar. Wehave tocontinue to say “Yes!” to life. Wehave tobe willing to risk embarrassment, social unease,and failure. To be afraid to fail is to be afraid to live. Forget perfection. Develop a beginner’s mindset, which is open tonew ideasand possibilities and understands that failure is nothing more than important feedback.

10. Carpethe Hell Out of This Diem.

This is my one key that incorporates all the others:Never let an opportunity pass you by,becausenone of us know what’s around the corner.I don’t believe that when one door closes anotherone opens. I believe that when you stop opening doors, the ones you’ve already opened begin to close.Don’t sit back.Lean in.Carpethehellout ofthisdiem.