Let It Out! Mental Health Zine by Michelle Macchio

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Let It OutI 629F Industrial Drive Tallahassee, Florid a 323 0 1,

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lsome of the idet s presented in this list were originally written by Jessica Max Stein, lcarus Project, Report Back from the Northeast Grassroots Co#munity tlerbal Converge&e in Attlebo(o, MAand havebser adapted to suit the persont involved in Bloducing this ,,:

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of Contents

1 Oh, Surreality:A Poetic Amalgamation Can liou Feel It In Your Bones? By Ru.sty Poulette 16 Do Herbs Really Work When it Clomes to Mental Health? By LeAnn 19 When Shields Break by Samuel Lloyd "1,2

ZZ ALife 25 frfsD by Cherry 3O Easier by Sarah Mac Band 13l Alive Again by Sarah Mac Band 32 Get Facts, Speak tlpl 136 Lucid Dreaming 42 Adventures in Somnambuli.sm by Nathan Archer 44 Anxiety Checklist 45 Life Cycles 1 46 A Comic About Deprassion 50 The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilqge by lars din 58 Eating f)isorders by Cherry 62Life Cycles Z 63 A Savage Infinity by Otus 64 To Fight Them by Otus 65 Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental Health by Whifirey Sigall 7O Expressions of Mental Health in Art History by Bri 75 Radical [ovin': Rejecting Monq;amy as a Form of Resistance by Rachel Saxer 84 Music as an Emotional Outlef by Rosie Riche.son 88I Went to Sea to Strug{e for a Space to Exist In by Steve 93 Epilqgue by Vlad

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not visible to the travcrller transitioning from places no longer visible to places not yet seell...

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Herbs Really Wbrk When I To

Ment lHealth

By LeAnn

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So, I am a skeptic. Don't get me

wrong*l fully believe in the use of herbs

and the power of the plants. I have used them for myself and helped $ :'i.l]

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others with their mental health and seen great results. But I have to speak to those looking for a "cure-all." Only relying on herbal remedies will not help cure mental health issues if people refuse to look within themselves, adjust their lifestyle and diet, and/or seek support. It's a fucked up world y'all, and we have to look at how the system has found it. way into ourselves (or even be willing to admit thatJ before we can really see change.

:Kr

l believe that disease of the body as we know it is a result, an end product, a final stage of something much deeper. Disease originates 1$ physical plane, nearer to the mental realm. It is entirely the above the S result of a confl ict between our spiritual and mortal selves. As long as $ these two in harmony, we are in perfect health; but when there is are ;..,1 there follows disease. If we continue to ignore what is ailing us discord, L&;, ';, on a deeper level, we will continue to suffer and deal with these same " 'r, problems over and over. And eventually for some, minor illness will fu develop into disease and lead to a difficult battle in later years. Tcr - Y-{ become tuned into the messages our body sends us requires awareness. M To increase awareness requires a lot of discipline. 6g

Vatas tend to be cold, dry, thin, frail, easily altered by senses, sensitive, talkative, and when out of balance they usually suffer from anxiety and nervousness. ,1;t:itilil,/iil,1ft!l;:t*:t|i:l;:;": ::.-:.:.:\,-:::...,-i....,,,\Si,. ;.# Pittas tend to be hot, oily, sporty, go-go-go kind of mentality, excessive planners, hard time adapting to change, and a lack of balance usually results in severe anger/snappiness,

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Kaphas tend to be cool, damp,large frame, slow moving, and when cut of balance tend to suffer from vegetative/'given up on the world'-like depression. .:t;;i;iiiliilill,iiiiiiliiil,l/li,iii,i;ilr"ii; ,,1't".. :r{.i:::!-tiff!1.i.i..-:S':"

You may resonate with more than one constitution and that's because some people ars a blend of two. For more information [and there is a ton more to learn!) read Prakriti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution by Robert Svaboda*the only book, in my opinion, that makes this thousand year

qld

sy=q_teq easy

to understand.

Some disadvantages of using herbs for nervous system disorders are - that they may not be strong enough, they can sometimes take a long time

to take effect, and they require strict compliance from the consumer [which is usually more work than the person is willing to doJ.

llWittr that said, there are a number of advantages of using herbs for ilervous system disorders. It is safe, available without prescription, can .1be gathered and prepared by patient, a natural approach; most can be combined with prescriptions, and they can be formulated specifically for the individual.

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Now to the good stuffl I can't possibly cover all herbs in this article but here are a few herbs and how they can work for you. I focus less on labels like "Bi Polar Disorder" or "Personality Disorder" or "Depression" and more on individual differences and symptoms and I recommend you do the $ame. Labels are just a by-product of societies need to fragment us.

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Tulsi aka IHoty BasilW[,ffi,ffi//l[tki.::r']:.:.â&#x201A;Źffif/,ltltr/i/,tf/Wffi wF*.',|.;:tll#t,f,Wililiffiruhi Great for Vatas. Grows well in Florida climate, An amazing adaptogenic herb that helps restore vitality and vigor. Daily use of this herb is believed to help maintain t}te balance of the chakras, or eners/ centers in the body, and to bring out the goodness, virtue, and joy in humansl Best taken as a tincture daily overtime for support with anxiety. But tastes great as a tea as well!

':;i!l|,lffWi{Wii,i[W'.-:;,-..,"-SFr"ri6"no*ii."-.,.,,i,r#iff F:{: Great for Pittas. An herb used flor nervous stress associateO wiift irritability, impatience, anger issues, sleep troubles, and anxiety. Grows $

well in Florida. Take tincture throughout the day or as needed. ,,.,,,.iS,;tltllll/y//lllffisilonnswd@,Ulilt,::i..::..:-i-N Great for Kapha types. Very effective for treating mild depression, anxiety, stress, tension, nerve damage, and seasonal affective disorder. Like many herbs, it needs to be used over a period of time for full effect. For depression and stress it needs to be taken over a 2-3 week period and it is often cycled over several months to treat chronic depression and stress. When used correctly this herb is very effective. Hypericin, one of the herbs main constituents, increases the metabolism and of serotonin and melatonin, which aid the body's ability to receive and store light. Hyperforin, another important constituent, contributes to emotional stability by slowing the uptake of those "feel good" neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and noradrenaline,

ciJii io. any ionstitrii"* Hitirrically rtua roi piin, insomnir, ,r,d $

headaches. Tincture is best, as this herb smells like dirty socks. 1 dropper when needed. For sleep troubles take 2-3 droppers oftincture and use more if necessary. For one out of ten people this herb does not work for these ailments and instead can cause temporary irritability. With that said, this is my most popular remedy for people suffering from insomnia and intense hearlaches.

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If you live in Tallahassee I hear Athena's Garden is a good source for herbs [http;//www.athenasgarden.net), otherwise you can order from Mountain Rose Herbs, which have high ethical practices. <3 Ihttp://www. moUnl.Ajnroseherbs. corn/J LeAnn has a practice in Gainesville called Rooted Remedies where she provides herbal consultations, herbal medicine, and massage. She can be found at the

Fiorida School of Massage where she works or at the Farmers Market in downtown Gainesville on W

from 3-7

Eleven Samuel Lloyd

"#t"v.ru*;,# Words on L'opiag and Selt-Asressment ,.,t.

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Sttally somethiniilffi d,

and disftact mysqlf rihough no:v.,I ihink

tqp casylt6eo, locato ihe sSi*ldi ibout, what,shields arejefti ev.en when

0r s( here and

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tg.l&hy I turnsd.lo it or why I csutinued. I only.know,that I grew iired ;ffiat4*g** wdrld through bluxed serses andas$ibing lfrle *rn* WW"W{*qc to mosrexpe$*r$#. $pbrief;f:,is:avery fulfiiling,tbetiugand;all,l,iri and I don't know who to thank for giving me such awareness, but I know the ; ' struggle is no,t';a*:*dsy for others. For rne:it:ap,peared as a light ss41tea'+:1::11.::.:.--:::i,.-::1; wanted to keep on. I turned back to gultar and started reading more.

lMhen Shields Break

Howevgr, some strusgles hate no end in sight"

Wren I look at the situations my family and friends have faced I sec how complcx somc issucs arc. how some coping mechanisms are powerful, how some support sructures are nonexistent. My mother found herself harboring a cocainc addictiorr for years after trying to impress some guy at a parry. It still sounds lil.e somcthing from an anti-drugcory,.qg1tlw1ren I attempt to summarize her battle. A closc friend tost trer'6*$:r'*ii:ti\"m'ithiioin ove ose, all because she ran out ofprescribed pain pills that helped subside a constant stafe of physical duress from scoliosis, Another close friend grew afltrt from her older sister after she saw her using drugs in nighteltbs-Thepls$t*rted to.:,:, move pest Dast itmornins the oldersisterwas fa*nd,idead f**nd,dead *im annarent it, trut but one moming msve suicide. No note was left. ,

Life-

I felt it in my chest. My breathe passed through to my arms, my legs tightened to a slight new position. Before my eyelids crept open like the door to my bedroom rl realaed

this is awake. I am awake.

My hands clenched the sheets, ('God

let me wake up to my life. This was all atightmarc." I held my breath fil the blood rushed to my head, carefully introducing my mind to my body again. My eyes were open wide now, and I let out my breath as the air of truth brought chills to my back which the blankets had now left naked. Was this adream? No, this was all still my real life.

There were many morninlis like this. Sometimes before I even open my eyes, I would day dream myself back to sleep to a world that was better than my reali$. As the years go by, this happens less and le,ss. And this is a secret I've kept to myselt because I believed how I felt was wrong.

I know that life is a gift no mafter what shape or size, so to speak. It is shameful and selfish to wish anything different or to have reSyets. I know there are people, people in my daily routine even, who "have it worse." I say to them, ttl can't ima5gine... you're so strong."

A Life

The change came like... well like a slow motion movie. Afterwards it felt like my soul, by some supernatural process, had been transplanted into a box with no limbs.

I strained to reach out and only fell ontc one of my sides, unable to gef back up. The doctors saidr "She's so young, given the proper treatment and patiencershe will beat this and recover." Soon the news spread.

Later,l saw how my life was published via Facebook walls and statuses. I submerged my fear with infallible positivity. I consoled my friends who cried for me and told them

It's life. Then I'd smile. I was facing the world with only a broken body to compel me. And for my soul? I had wondered if I we"* losing my.relf as well. The ironic part, which I can only recognize four years later, is that there are words for despair but none to explain what I was feeling then.

There are novels on the stru5pdes and names for the sickness. But I am committed to the belief that there is no explanation

for the time I found peace. They might say that out of desperation we look for anythir.rg to cling onto.

I had losi my vesicle connecting my thoughts and words to the physical world.

A Life

Now, the sensation of touch itself was and the sound of

uor"*

{,l*{'fr""' ruiracle.

Rehab teaches you how to walk agun. Speech therapy, how to say your name. Occupational therapy, how to u.se a fork.

No one remembers how they felt, the day they first walked on their own, at twelve months of a51e.

I remember how I felt, only this was the second time and I was eighteen years old.

What happened was not fair,

it was horribie. But at the same iime

whathappened to me was the greatest gift.

I still carry scars of the accident. And as lon15 as those stay, I can never for5iet what it mean$ tobe living; to not just be alive.

ruSDby Cherry

one notable feature of western civilization is its emphasis on privacy. what we do in the privacy of our own homes should be our business and our business alone. The problem with everything being private, though, is that we have very little idea of how different "normal,,can be from one family to the next.

Growing up, I had no idea that other kids got along with their siblings. I thought the beatings my brother gave me were normal sibling squabbles. We all know that boys will boys, and that it's all fun and games until a bone is broken. At least, that was my experience with "normal". My parents didn't know what to do, and the therapists didn't have any good advice, so I was left with very low self-esteem, an exaggerated startle reflex, and the idea that it was okay to have the crap beaten out of me if I "deserved', it.

I was L2 when I thought I wanted to kill myself. I tried cutting. I tried throwing up after eating. I tried everything to make the outside of me match how twisted up I was on the inside. The problem was that I became a prodigal child. The only child in my family who did not drop out of school. The only child who didn't argue with my parents. The only one who did their chores. I took care of my brother; I was responsible for waking him up and giving him insulin shots. And he would just as soon beat me as say thank you. My life became about focusing on everyone else, because it was so much easier tllan focusing on the turmoil that was taking place inside of me.

But then, something miraculous happened. I finished high school and left for college a year ahead of schedule. I was able to get away from my brother and the threat his presence represented, and start over at college in a new town.

PTSD

Unfortunately, as hard as I tried, I didn't feel like I was fitting in. I was younger than my classmates, and completely uncomfortable with males; I woke up most nights from terrible nightmares, and after a particularly close call with a guy at a party who wouldn't take "NO" for an answe4 I was left feeling unable to cope. When I couldn't make myself eat regularly, I got some help by making an appointment with a psychiatrist. Halfway through my intake appointment, my psychiatrist said something to the effect of, "lt's no wonder you feel so out of control; all this stress, and coping with PTSD'I I remained in shock for the rest of the day. PTSD is what war veterans and rape victims have. Not people who have shitty relationships with their brothers. According to the American Psychiatric Association, the criterion for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder includes: Stressor: a traumatic event where the person has experienced, witnessed, or been confronted with an event or events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury or a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others. The person's response involves intense fear; helplessness, or horror. Intrusive Recollection: recument and intrusive recollection of the event, which can be in the form of nightmares, dissociatedlike states, or intense psychological distress to iuternal or external cues that symbolize the event or trauma. Avoidance/Numbing: persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness, shown by efforts to avoid thoughts/feelings/memories of the trauma, inability to recall important aspects of the ffauma, or feeling of detachment or estrangement from others. Hyper-arousal: persistent symptoms of increasing arousal as indicated by, difficulty falling or staying asleep, irritability or outburst ofanger; hyper'vigilance, or an exaggerated startle response,

PTSD

I know that I meet the criteria for PTSD as classified by the DSM, and I am currently taking an anti-anxiety drug to help with the symptoms. Just because we know sometlting is true doesn't mean we feel like it should be true. I don't know if I feel like a physical abuse victim, or even if my experience hasn't been exaggerated in my head, but there are a few things I know for certain,

Violence is not an acceptable way to express aggression or frustration. Brothers should never be allowed to hit their sisters, and vice versa. A certain amount of aggressive behavior is expected in young boys*a product of cultural gender norms*but that doesn't make it okay. If violence is deemed acceptable in certain situations, t}re same mentality will carry over into other situations as well.

It's better to get help earlier rather than later. I started seeking help when I was 17, the summer before I left for college. Because I wasn't receiving the support I felt I needed to continue, I stopped until I was nearing a nervous breakdown in my first semester of my senior year of college. I waited until I had dropped thirty pounds from not eating, and couldn't stomach the thought of going out anywhere strange men would be, Get help before your mental health is on the line.

Don't let a label define you. PTSD does not define me. It helps explain some of the characteristics I possess, and it helps facilitate understanding with other people about cerLain personal boundaries I need to maintain, but it is not who I am. With therapy and the medicine I am currently taking, I hope to be over some of the more pervasive symptoms relatively soon so that I can learn to have normal, loving, lasting relationships with males.

PTSD

It took me a long time to accept my own advice. I felt like the violence I was experiencing was deserved, especially because my family viewed my relationship with my brother as one of mutual aggression. It wasn't until I stopped fighting back and the violence still continued that I realized I wasn't to blame for the aggression. After that realization, I became angry and I used the anger to fuel me through everything until I got to FSU. I went to the counseling center on campus (it's free for students), and I starting seeing a counselor as often as possible. The validation that I felq that I still feel, telling people about my childhood and having their support has allowed me to cope day to day, I've stopped feeling like I'm crazy, and I no longer wonder if I made it all up in my head. The simple fact of knowing that I'm taking control of my life has made everything much easier to deal with, and it has become easier for me to tell other people about it. Having my friends listen to me, and not judge me for my reactions, has been a big part ofthe recovery process. Nobody can truly understand, but having them try makes it easien

Facts about PTSD [based on the U.S.):

r o o

About 7-87o of the population will have PTSD at some point in their Iives.

About 5.2 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma. Women are more likely than men to develop PTSD. About lAVo af women develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with 5olo of men.

sourcer American Psychiatric Association. (20001. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (Revised 4th ed.). Washington, DC

PTSD

Who is most likely to develop PTSD? Although most people who go through trauma will not get PTSD, you are more likely to develop PTSD if you:

r r r o e o r

Were directly exposed to the trauma as a victim or a witness Were seriously hurt during the event Went through a trauma that was long-lasting or very severe Believed that you were in danger Believed that a family member was in danger Had a severe reaction during the event, such as crying shaking vomiting, or feeling apart from your suruoundings Felt helpless during the trauma and were not able to help yourself or a loved one.

You are also more likely to develop PTSD if you:

r r r o e r r o r r

Had an earlier life-threatening event or trauma, such as being abused as a

child

Have anoiler mental health problem Have family members who have had mental health problems Have little support from family and friends Have recently lost a loved one, especially if it was not expected Have had recent, stressful life changes Drink a lot of alcohol

Are a woman Are poorly educated

Areyounger

Some groups of people, including blacks and Hispanics, may be more likely than whites to develop PTSD. This may be because these groups are nlore likely to go through a trauma. For example, in Veterans who survived Vi-

etnam, a Iarger percent of blacks, Hispanics, and Native Americans were in combat than whites.

Your culture or ethnic group also may affect how you react to trauma. For example, people from groups that are open and willing to talk about problems may be more willing to seek help.

wrazw'I)tsd.va.gov

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have recorded that despite socioeconomic status, geography, or education, any human has the capacity to be suicidal; anyone could find themselves at risk. For sCImeone at risk thoughts of,suicide are built on multiple arrangements of circumstances that have Ied to that point. What drives someone to suicide may be depression, medical disability or disease, loss of someone they love, or all the above. t,: t.:"i)'t"t:t'!,,.:tt:t::t:)iit:ll'i'l "tlili:=liW As described in the LivingWarks Education*a nationally recognized cCImpany for intervention training programs*people at risk see suicide as an escape from pain and as a last resorts Ninety percent of suicides are done at home where only 1 in 5 persons willleave a note.

This article is not just for aspiring psychotherapists, since a degree in psychology is not required to help someone at risk and prevent a possible suicide. In one study of people who had recently attempted suicide, 800/o say their actions could have been prevented byan outside party. +

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The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege: An Appeal to White Dudes by lars din

I tend to talk mostly about acknowledging/challenging privilege and

calling people out as something we should do, if we are caring people, But the best-kept secret about it is that besides being good for your world and community, interrupting preiudicel and more generally acting in solidarityz with oppressed groups is good for you!

SomeWords By saying that we white dudes benefit from privilege, I am not saying we

are never in pain, or never have a hard time or that life is simple, easy, or without obstacles for us. I spent most of my teens and twenties trying to figure out whether and how best to off rnyself. For the last couple years, I have experienced daily physical pain and other neurological adventures due to multiple sclerosis. Life isn't awesome sometimes. The global economy at this point basically forces many of us, regardless of identity presentation3, to either find work or subsist in isolation. This coercive state hurts everyone.

lpreiudice: the judgment of someone based on their presentation. A famous definition of racism is prejudice plus power. This means that someone may be prejudiced against a person with skin privilege [i.e. a white personJ, but unless they also have the power to force their will, the prejudice is not racism. To me, reverse racism is code for "l like my privilege just fine, tlank you." zsolidarity: the idea that global sruggles for justice, freedom, health and peace are connected.

3identity presentation: the way someone looks, acts, dresses, and carries themself. This term seems to me more dynamic and more inclusive of the way humans seem to perceive one another. This term suggests some of the ambiguity about how our perceptions of each other are coded. ln other words, our skin color, gender, physical shape, etc., certainly doesn't define us. And for a given culture, there is a spectrum of expectations, assumptions, attitudes, and behaviors that are associated with interactions between and u,ithin groups. Making these identities invisible-for example, by so-called color-blindnessdoesn't simply eliminate them.

OK so being a white dude isn't like being Gotcha. So then whatARE you saying?

super hero exactly.

What I am saying is that white dudes, especially in the global north, escape a whole lot of the onslaught of everyday challenges that many folks have to negotiate. These range from annoying assumptions to brutal murder, but have one thing in common: they happen because of who they think you are. I'm talking about your chances of having any random interaction sexualized, ofbeing beat up, paid less, groped, raped, shot by police or civilian, deported, insulted and/or ridiculed; to name a handful of things that people survive.

Again, I'm not saying these things don't happen to straight white males, because they do. I'm saying that our chances of avoiding this kind of unpleasantness (or of stopping itJ are much greater simply because of how we were trained and the way we present ourselves to the world.

The clearest explanation I've heard recently for privilege is this: if you do not spend part of every day considering one of these, uh, inconveniences, then you probably got it. There are other ways of framing privilege, but the main point of this piece is not so much privilege itself, but the benefits of learning about

and what we achieve by challenging it. OK, Why Should I?

why should we care about challenging privilege? Why should we ever risk anything to call someone out, or seek ways to interrupt the exercise of privilege and powerl in our communities? \rVhy isn't it enough to be cool-as-hell alternative, or artistic, or original, or whatever? So

I can think of three reasons to do this work besides that it is simply the right thing to do. The first reason is that doing it is living in the future, The second is that it will make you a better critical thinker, and probably healthier. And the third is that it is fun. Let's look at each reason.

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

Live In The Future! It's about living in the future. In the broad sense, being an ally2 is about having empathy. This can be trying to get a sense of what kinds of institutionalized barriers are faced by others, and then acting on the basis of that understanding. This motivation for challenging system prejudice is fairly understood. But in a narrow way, learning to be an ally is also about being ahead of the curve of history. It means understanding the obstacles to empowerment, and contributing to the process.

It may be obvious that marginalized (from mainstream discourse) communities don't need our hand-outs fas much as they are likely to be seeking autonomyJ. It may be less obvious that our own communities do very much need us to talk out loud about what we are learning, to share our process of discovery, and they need us to call them out*even blockade them-when they/we engage with other communities in destructive, exploitative or even just self-centered ways. Don't believe me? Take a look at history, like at the trends of liberation movements and those of art since the industrial revolution. In short, history values courage.

lpower: in this context, I mean an invisible force that leads to dominance, destruction, and exploitation. Sometimes this is known as 'power over' to distinguish it from personal power, or 'power with,' the kind of force created by people working together voluntarily, rather than by coercion. In general, I think it's obvious by context and prefer the more simple formation. zally: someone with commitment and willingness to make a daily effortto address privilege. As you know, or will discover, this is not always easy or comfortable, but is often very rewarding. The essence of being an ally to me is Iistening and accountability.

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

Now, I don't believe history follows a single inevitable path. Especially if one looks at particular communities, there are plenty of instances where hate and destruction predominate. Still, whatever the outcome of the next collapse, it is clear already that viable long-term stability depends on collaboration among different communities, and part of the foundation for this solidarity is being laid by anti-oppressionl activists. Without solidarity, there can be no sustainable future. And even from the narrow perspective of how we'll be remembered, take a look: history is rarely kind to those who accommodate hatred and narrow self-interest, but celebrates those with fierce empathy and commitment.

It Trains Your Brain Challenging privilege will make you a better critical thinker, and probably improve your health too. It's about mental and emotional agility. We white dudes are taught some pretty absurd things. We're taught the obvious things like about being tough, about not showing most of our feelings, about not being needy (or clingy, or scared). We also learned some not-so-obvious things Iike about how we just know stuff, and how we mostly don't need to listen to others. After all, we know all the answers already, right? This training has some pretty painful consequences. The most obvious one is that we grow up kind of oblivious. It's funny because this is something that we recognized in adults when we were children, but never realized would just become part of us, maybe because it happened gradually, and certainly because this kind of insensitivity is self-selecting:

the more insensitive you are, the more likely only other insensitive people will hang out with you, so you will miss chances to stop being insensitive. loppression: in concrete ways, some groups of people find themselves constrained, ridiculed, assaulted, or even killed during their normal activity of living. This process of dehumanization is systematic, normalized, rendered mostly invisible, and continuously and publicly justified by negative stereotypes about the group.

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

Let's face it. We white fellas are mostly terrible listeners. We tend to interrupt or think of what we're going to say while someone else is speaking or are simply uninterested in another's perspective*ahem, especially if we perceive them as having less power than we do. Sometimes we don't want to hear what they have to say. And of course, we can always walk away. One thing about the isolation that comes with privilege: people expect us to be difficult, But don't be thrown off; once people realize you really are trying to listen, you'll be amazed with what they will tell you. As privilege requires isolation, challenging

it requires listening. It isn't difficult, but it can be uncomfortable for most of us, this process of putting ourselves out there, of becoming vulnerable. It can be challenging to admit being wrong although once you do it a few times, you will see how being a good listener, and valuing constructive criticism feels really really good. We learn to get better at noticing when we become defensive, like when we're identifying with our identity presentation and digging in (for example, identifying with someone's generalization about white people) rather than owning what we can and moving on. There is some subtlety here. In order to build solid alliances with other communities, we need to be accountable to them in our actions and relationships. But an important part of that is identifying the part that we can affect. Really try to listen. Decide what you can own. Keep trying. For example, a typical response to learning about privilege is along the Iines oi "it's not my fault, I didn't create this situation, why am I being blamed?" This response is rooted in a sense of guil! as well as a crafty [if unconscious) shifting of the conversation to one of blame over the past. Many of us who are challenging privilege are not as interested in assigning blame as we are in finding healthy ways of relating today, in finding ways of challenging power dynamics, violence, exploitation, and so on. It's less about history than about this morning, say. Or tomorrow

morning.

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

The outcome of any work challenging privilege is uncertain, since the issues and intersections make for complexity. And we are very attached to our unhealthiness. But here's the point: the work is its own reward!

And of course, people who are grounded, empathetic, thinking of more than themselves, and not feeling guilty or defensive are also likely to be healthier, and happier! Have A Blast! The alternative is, of course, to remain in denial and defensiveness, to use our energy avoiding the issues, or worse, to undermine the work activists are doing on these issues. This is a good way to increase your level of cognitive dissonancel. Many people*especially those employed by destructive or exploitative corporations-will use their energy this way. Really, they don't [and won'tJ have as much fun as we do. And years foom now, history will not be kind to them. Once I began to notice these dynamics at play in my life, it was impossible to not be bothered by them.

For example, once I noticed how often men dominate conversations, intemuptwomen or each other, or say stuff about women's bodies, I started to get annoyed and frustrated. Over time, I have learned when and how to speak up about it, and found people who don't interact in this way. Gaining some clarity about why people are assholes is one of the rewards.

lcognitive dissonance: psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously.

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

Some of what being an ally means to me is less obvious. For example, I think we are accountable for making sure there is a diversity of voices and perspectives in the leadership of our groups. Most of the organizing I've done has been characterized by Anglo voices, partly because the organizations are mostly white people. This is, of course, partly a legacy of segregation and racism in the US, but it also says something about how we organize, and what we prioritize. We are looking for concrete ways to address it; mindful of the potential for tokenisml.

Addressing power and prejudice in the interactions of communities can be very complex. It can also be very simple. We can find the activities we're passionate about, and find ways to bring an anti-oppression perspective to bear on these projects. Remember above all this is a process. As long as we remain willing to keep learning willing to make mistakes, and willing to listen, we are

doing right, Perhaps the biggest benefit of working on tlis stuff is that it allows us to join people all over the world working to make our communities more just, more healthy, and more fun.

I hope this has helped someone.

tokenismr the practice of doing something only to prevent criticism and give the appearance that people are being treated fairly.

5\,

The Secret Benefits of Challenging Privilege

For clarity, it often helps to define our terms, so I'll offer a few

definitions. Definitions can be controversial; feedback is welcome. By trigger, I mean any image, story, phrase, or even symbol that brings back painful memories of trauma. Being sensitive to possible triggers, avoiding them when possible, is part of being compassionate. You can take a shortcut to shithead status by assuming you know what is and isn't a trigger.

prioritizing non-male voices and perspectives in our daily activities. In case it needs saying, you can have By feminism, I mean the practice of

a penis and be a feminist.

intervention, I mean the act of speaking up about any situation that is unhealthy. This is most often associated with drug use, a context that I'm pretty comfortable with, being a recovering drug abuser. It turns out By

that addiction, as a metaphor, is really helpful in all kinds of contexts. I'm sure you can think of an instance or three where someone for a whole society?) continues to engage in unhealthy behavior, despite the signs. By the way, I anr r'rpeu to rlialtguc, discussion, cluestions, antl cron ln rr: n l.s aborrt this wliting,, whal il nr*uts in the way I live, nry pasl, antl so rrll. Srl write to me at la rs...a t... i n tc r'- sk il ls.trr'.g. In case it isn't trbvious, I clitln't ntake a lot of this up. I'nr.qlatel'ul tirl thc rlili, 5lent and tenaclious wtrlk trl pr:trple

in antl al thc irrtclscctitrns of various liberatirrn rnr,rverrrerrts, especially in the transg,entier', hlack, ancl wornen's lilrelafion nlovelneltts, aild the prisr.rn aholitir'rn rntrvenrent. I hr-rpe if you tlon't ah'eady, you will come tt-r see that the liberation r-rf al1 r-'rf us is a wt'rrkinS;

cc'rnnecteci

thirg.

The ideas shared in this article came from discussions conducted by the Gainesville Intervention Skills Group in Gainesville, Florida. Their meeting notes and resources on this topic can be found on their Facebook event page: httFs;//wlrw,faceboph,cprn/eveutsll3395

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Eattng

Disorders-

by Cherry

Like our personalities, hair colorl and skin tone, mental illness is unique to the individual. There may be common themes and symptoms, sometimes common causes, but the effects they have, and the way we deal with them is different from person to person. Eating disorders are no exception.

within the classification of eating disorders there is a range of subtypes including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder; and eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNos). 'An estimated 90%+ are adolescent and young women, though men and adults suffer from eating disorders as well, Eating disorders have serious mental and physical health consequences including death. In fact anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness -- up to zao/a."'rhey all have unique behavioral symptoms and causes, and while popular culture and the desire to be thin plays a role in the formation of a disr:rdec a lot of psychologists agree that eating disorders have to do with control. I use to eat my feelings away. When I was sad or mad or happy, I would eat to either make me feel a different way, or to help sustain my good mood. I generally had a good self-image. I didn't think other people liked the way I looked, but I liked the way I looked. I became a firm beiiever in loving myself because I wasn't sure anyone else would, when I started college I had really unhealthy habits, but most of my mood-associate eating had disappeared. Trying to store food in a dorm room didn't allow me the luxury of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to. Then, the summer before my senior year; I started feeling massive amounts of pressure. I needed to pick a graduate program, take the GRE, attend class more often, do stuff so it would look good on my resume* and thus, I swam in a sea of out-of-control feelings. I became so busy between worying going to class, and extra-curricular activities that eating iust fell to the wayside. It became normal for me not to eat until the evening.

Eating Disorders

And then I would forget to eat when I came home. I was tired, I had a headache, I just wanted to go to bed, and frankly, I didn't feel hungry' Eating took energy I didn't have. When I had gone three days without eating I started to panic. I had lost weight, which I was enjoying and I became terrified that I would start gaining it back if I added in more food to my daily intake. When I realized I had consumed less than a thousand calories in a week, I told someone. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I sat down with a group of my friends and I told them something close to "l think I have a problem with eating. I think I need some help"'

It took weeks after admitting it for me to seek help. I finally built up the courage to make an appointment with a nutritionist, She calmly explained that I was severely restricting my eating habits, and that I met the diagnoses for Anorexia, except that you have to be 15o/o underweight; a requirement that has been changed and will become effective this year.

I knew I had a problem, but it didn't seem that bad, My friends would say "you have a problem" but I was totally disconnected from it' I didn't have the energy necessary to be anything other than apathetic. I thought talking about it would be enough to help, but it just made me feel more

out of control.

It has been a daily struggle since I started getting help. I haven't eaten every day since I promised my nutritionist I would. In order to avoid using food as a control mechanism, I have picked up some hobbies that divert me from consuming food when I started to feel my control slip. I know now that when I start to feel powerless, I should avoid using food as a control mechanism. Instead I knit,l write, and I dance to help myself feel in control. I also know that I need to minimize the stress in my life so I have a better

chance of not relapsing. I minimized my stress by giving myself free reign to sit around and watch TV shows all weekend if I feel like it, a reminder that the pressure I put on myself needs to be balanced with my mental health.

Eating Disorders

What's important is that I told someone. Even though I hate it sometimes, even though I get texts from people regularly asking if I'vo eaten, even though I have to bare my soul for other people to see, the important thing is that I'm not risking myself anymore. The one thing that finally made me go and talk to a professional was a friend of mine asking how I would feel knowing someone I loved was doing what I was doing, and that they weren't getting help for it. I hated to be the source of someone else's pain. I'm not saying you should guilt trip yourself into it, in fact, at some point that guilt trip needs to be replaced with internal motivation, but if making yourself feel bad gets you to take the first step to healing, then do it. I fought getting help because I thought it would be another aspect of my lack of control. I knew that I clinically didn't fit a diagnosis of anorexia, and because I am a heavier person I could excuse it as getting healthy. But it is not healthy. And it doesn't give control; it takes it away, because

we become so focused on how much we're eating, how many calories we consume, a number on a scale, that we cease to be able to function without thinking about it, Getting help is the first step to gaining control, and it's the first step toward a new, healthier outlook. 1]ames L Hudson, Eva Hiripi, |r., Harrison

G. Pope, & Ronald C. Kessler' QAA\. "The Prevalence and Correlates of Eating Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replica tion," Biological Psychiatry 348-3 58' 2Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Eating Disorders Affect Millions of Americansl . Approximately 11 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder . Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder . Anorexia is the 3rd most common chronic illness among adolescents r Eating disorders do not discriminatel men and women, all economic classes, young and old are affected

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Eating Disorders

Eating Disorders are Not the Patient's Faultl . The risk of developing an eating disorder is 50-800/o determined by genetics. r Dieting, a normalized behavior in our culture, is a risk factor for the development of an eating disorder and can trigger eating disorders in those with a genetic predisposition. . Even young children in our society are influenced to feel bad about their bodies and encouraged to engage in unhealthy dieting behaviors. . Our society's emphasis on appearance and idealization of thinness promotes dangerous dieting behaviors and blinds us to people suffering and in need of treatment. . Genetic predisposition does not spell destiny. Our strongest approach is to focus on modifying the environmental factors that influence risk and perpetuate the disordered eating. r Due to the cultural misunderstanding of eating disorders and the idealization of thinness, patients are often unable to perceive the gravity of the illness or seek assistance on their own without the assistance of family, friends, or clinicians.

Other Facts about Eating Disordersz

. Doubled since L960s . Increasing in younger age groups, as young as 7 years . Occurring increasingly in diverse ethnic and sociocultural groups . 4A-60o/a of high school girls diet .73o/o of high school girls purge

. 30-40o/a of junior high girls worry about weight . 4Ao/o of 9-year-old girls have dieted . S-year-old girls are concerned about diet

James I. Hudson, Eva Hiripi, Jr., Harrison G. Pope, & Ronald C. Kessler. V0A7). "The Prevalence and Correlates of Eating Disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication," Biological Psychiatry, 348-358. z|ournal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

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A Savage Infinityby Otus

chasing through the dream

of that familiar form this monster isn't me it's not pafi af me, it's in my blood I didn't do this, your blood on my hands bloody bodie,s on their bloodied land, I kill. fhe kill in me would be fbrever, the battle beyond death.

I kill my wayup toward

sa.vqeinfinity of manly ruin. killing myself, not you who I cannot e

see,

not the Other. the sun is a stern old man who judges our killing in waters below swims the shape of doom I let go of the clif[ I feel the wind, the falling...

in the new dream, I am pure, I am empty is this my dealL'I is this my self thatlwanted'? this desert is a mirror but I don't apryar.

I see the corpses in the sky where I dared not look they are you

I have killed, nof myself who I cannot see, butthe Other. And I'm this pathetic flopping fish without sea, without pride forever more.

To Fight The by Otus

ancient beirE; made of pun hurting it you increase it hating it you become it topple these towering traditions remake the whole world, make it mine to break the bounds thatbind me this is the power to heal all pain I touch ihe power of life, love and pleasure chalice of forever, a holy grail

will not win or lose will not worship death will not hate people andyou presume beyond your kin lay down your words this is what I came here to see ancient being made of pain hurting it you increase it hafing ityou become it

'|rou cut me downl" the mother cries out, Eaf,th

isblerding

I amhuman, and

we are her you draw your sword, humans are defeated

the revolution will not be fought to fight them is to eat hun5ler

throw them into the sea

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Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental HealthBy Whitney Sigall The Constitution was established not as a contract that gives you rights, but rather as protection of our "god given rights" [as our country's founding fathers called 'em) from being infringed upon. State and local officials, howeveq, have constructed laws that inherently limit the protection granted to people who are homeless* due to the idea that it will protect other (privilegedJ citizens. In sacrificing the human rights of one population for the supposed safety of another; these laws are placing varied values on human life. Throughout this essay, I will be using articles and ecological concepts to show how the institutionalized criminalization of poverty encourages discrimination, and how that affects the mental health of those individuals experiencing homelessness.

Although anti-homeless laws exist nationwide, the laws and the ways in which they are manipulated in Florida has placed four of its cities in the top ten meanest cities. According to The National Coalition for Homelessness, the list is as followed: St. Petersburg in second, Orlando in third, Gainesville in fifth, and Bradenton in ninth (9). A common law banning "camping" in public spaces is a law that in practice is quite unconstitutional. In order to see these laws upheld, cities often conduct "sweeps". "Sweeps" are the process by which police

officers forcibly remove those who are sleeping outside (BJ. "Sweeps" not only include the removal and destruction of property but they can also involve unwarranted searches of persons and tents. This action goes directly against the International Law of Freedom that states, no official is allowed to perform a forced eviction. This is also an attack on our Fourth Amendment Right that declares all people have the right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizures (9). Local government has been able to trump these constitutional rights by creating complex laws that allow them to void these rights for those who are impoverished and deemed "unbefitting". *people who are homeless: a politically-correct way to refer to a person who is without a home. This is called People-First tanguage.

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Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental Health

Abraham Maslow, the psychologist who created the "hierarchy of needs" chart, believed that those who are unable to attain their most basic physiological need (i.e. shelterJ will not be able to successfully achieve other needs such as feelings of belongingness,love, self-esteem, and selfactualization. The National Coalition for Homelessness reported that out of all the cities they surveyed, 160/o of averall emergency shelter requests and32o/o of requests made by families that are homeless went unmet If not enough shelters are being provided, what alternative does a person who is homeless have to sleeping in a public park? Laws that put harsh restrictions on loitering and sleeping in public places force people who are homeless to move to much harsher

conditions. When imagining these scenarios, keep in mind that 40olo of those who make up Florida's homeless population are families (2). Without adequate sheltet those who are experiencing homelessness are at the constant mercy of the elements. There are much more serious threats than just those that nature can provide. Often people who are homeless are forced to retreat to more hidden areas, thus making homeless individuals more susceptible to being raped, abused, or a victim of homicide. Women who are homeless are far more likely to experience physical attacks than any other women in the U.S. and are far less likely to report the attack due to a lack of satisfactory responses from authorities [3). Long exposure to violent conditions and a ruthless environment cause people who are homeless to become more at risk for developing a mental illness.

These anti-homeless laws, along with limited health care and education, have created everlasting effects on the children in this population.

Children who are homeless are sick twice as much as other children and are four times more likely to have asthma. These children are also twice as likely to repeat a grade and three times more likely to suffer from behavioral issues. Health reports have also found that one in three children who are homeless form a major mental disorder by the age of (7), Numerous studies have also shown that the rate of morbidity and mortality decreases with each increase in education and income [10J.

Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental Health Lastly, laws that place a ban on panhandling and food sharing vastly reduce the amount of interface people who are homeless have with other citizens. This creates a divide within the community and perpetuates the misunderstandings and fear that these laws are based on. By restricting positive interactions between those of varying social economic status, we are placing restrictions on the ways and amounts those experiencing homelessness can be a part of our community. Without these forms of human interactions, it can lead to a rise in depression and loneliness as well as a decrease in self-esteem. This lack of contact relates to losses in opportunities for food sharing, meeting potential advocates, and stability. This infringement is made ever more revolting by laws that prohibit wild edibles from being grown in public parks, furthering the inability to access natural resources.

One way that fosters said divide is the manner in which laws such as panhandling and loitering are upheld, These laws are constructed so that

it is up to civilians and business owners to evaluate how and by whom these "lawless" acts are being committed. It is often left to the civilians to hold these lawbreakers accountable and to initiate police involvement. Not only do those experiencing homelessness need to fear class repercussions from the police, they need to fear it from everyone. The mental consequence of this is called "Social Evaluation Anxiety". "Social Evaluation Anxiety" was coined by Richard Wilkinson, a professor who studies how inequality affects societies. In a speech he gave for TedTalks.com, he spoke about how economic and social inequalities create "social evaluation anxie$1" that is, the feeling of uncontrollable threats to self-esteem, social status, and the fear of negative judgments. This kind of threat increases the release of the stress hormone, cortisol, Whether or not you feel comfortable categorizing these experiences under one blanketed name, the theme of general mental distress is an apparent side-effect of these anti-homeless laws.

rol

Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental Health

Rachel Best conducted a study that demonstrated how the media covers the issue of homelessness. In her article Situation or Sociul Prablem: The lnfluence of Events on Media Coverage of Homelessnes$ she found that the media rarely presents homelessness as a social problem. This is critical since something being labeled as a social problem calls for institutional and community action. A particular label given to an issue can mean the world in terms of funding and prevention (1), In the absence of this title, our government is encouraged to implement cheap regulator systems that hide the problem rather than actually fixing it. These often come in the form of the anti-homeless laws mentioned earlier.

Want to become abetter ally to those experien clng homelessness? Evaluate your own privileges (i.e class, sex, race, ability, etc..J. Acknowledge the roles they play in your life and the opportunities that have come to you in consequence of them. Make time to research areas in which you are not oppressed. Go to your local library and check out some books, take advantage of living in a college town and set up an appointment to talk with various professors on the matter (most professors are more than willing to talk to other members of community who are not students, though I can understand how stepping on campus can be intimidating), and spend some time "googling" unfamiliar terms that come up in your research. Being an ally is more than just saying you are "anti-classist", you must put your beliefs in to actions and fight against systematic oppression. Speak out against anti-homeless laws, volunteer and lend support to local shelters, and get informed on local issues by making a point to attend local Homeless Coalition meetings.

Respect & Solidarityl

Anti-Homeless Laws and Their Effects on Mental Health

Works Cited 1. Best, R. [2010). Situation

or Social Problem; The Influence of Events on Media

Coverage of Homelessness. Social Problems ,74-g7.

2. Florida Coalition For The Homeless. (n.d.J. Frequently Asked euestions. Retrieved November 15, 2011, from Florida Coalition For The Horneless On Line: htt://wwwfchonline.org/FAQs.asp W (2005) . The Experience af Violence in the Lives Women. Washington: U.S. Department of Justice.

3. |ana fasinski, I.

4.Magness, B.

of Homeless

,. (2011, May 5). Attacks On Homeless To Be Hate Crimes In

Florida. Hoffngtonpost

5. Munzenriedel K. (2A70, Febuary 24). Miami's Proposed Solution to Homelessness: Treat People Like Pigeons & Make It Illegal to Feed Them. Miami New Times . 6. National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty. {201L, November 15). IVew Report; lt's lllegal to Be Homeless in America. Retrieved November 18, 2011,

from National Law Center on http ;//www.nlchp.org/news.cfm?id=

Homelessness

& poverty

7. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network. [2005J. Facts on Trauma and Homeless Children. Los Angeles; The National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

The National Coaltion for the Homeless. PA13, ]uly 20). The 10 Most Ridiculous Anti-Homeless laws. Retrieved November 1"6,2071, from Bring

America Home Blog: http://nationalhomeless.org/WordPr ess/ Z07l / 0Z / the10-most-ridiculous-anti-homeless-laws/ 9. The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty and The Natinal

Coalition for the Homeless, (2009). Homes Not Handcuffs: The Crimniatization of Homeless in U.S. Cities. Washington: The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty. 1.0.

Vlahov

S. G.

[2002). Public Helath Reports. Association of Schools of Public

Health.

Expressions of MentalHealth in Art

HistoryBy Bri

In the late 19tt cenfury, art started moving away from the academic world of ancient/classical tradition toward a more spiritual, abstract way of depicting art. Movements like Vienna Secession, post-Impressionism, and Expressionism wanted to create afi that had no historical int'luence. This discussion will examine artists trom each of these cultural art movements, how their art reflected their inner mental conflict, and their perception of themselves and the world aroundthem. E51on schiele (vienna secession), Edvard Munch (Expressionist) and vinc:ent van Gogh (post-Impressionist) will be the focus of this discussion. Art is so much more than just tryrng to perfectly depict a physical object, like the human body in the most anatomically correct way possiblel. Itrs about emotion (or several), of a conflict that's rottinlg withirl, and releasinli it a healthy and constructive channel. Art can act as an emotional, medium outlet that allows the artist to release all of their bottled up atrgression/anxiety/depression, it allows anyone who wants to take part as an"audience" insert themselves in the artist's world and give them the opportunity ta and.see the artist's true self, or a pafitcular emofion they were experienciryg in whatever way that they chose to share in. The Vienna Secession, founded on April Sr lSgT jdid not haye a unifying style that represented it as a whole. In 1907, Artist Egon Schiele-an

Austrian painter-soughf out artist and founder of the vienna secession, Gustav Klimt, and started to apprenfice him1. Throu54h Klimt, Schiele became exposed to ofher forms of modern, abstract, expressionisf artist such as Munch andYan Gogh. These artists focused on depicting the inner self through forms of line, color, and form. The heavy influence of these artists on schiele is obvious when looking at schiele's work during the ear$ 20th century.

Bender, Stephanie. Vienna Secession. Post lmpressionism and Surrealism. FSU Lecture 2013

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Expressions of Mental Health in Art History

L=Jru Schiele, .self* portra i t

In his selt'-portrait, I I 10, oil, SSouache,, Schiele wasn't concerned with decorative quality, such as matching up hues and depth in space. He was interested in depicting his own "to*ured reality" 2. Nofice his placement within the self-portrait;it is unusual-there is a lot of negative space, no real space. There is no fore.ground or backgrounds. His is placed on an all white back5yound. It is almo.st as if he placed himself in the position of patient at a mental institution from the point of view of a psychiatrist. The awkward arm 5;esfures were influenced by his research on clinic patients thatbad hysteria during the \Oth century. He used unnatural colors that represent a decaying body; symbolizing which symbolizes his unhealthy state of mind. It is throuS;h the exa5gerated; grotesque manner in why his body is presented that viewers are .supposed to gather that Schiele had a very shy personality, &ndhad a lot of personal angst within. "Human poses convey human emotion which shows his torment and pain." Schiele 5;oes as far as calling himself the "Man of Pain"s. The fact thathe depicted himself masfurbatinl;, which, at the time \ ras seen as an act of shamefulness that could lead to mental insanity, expressed his inner an5;st which he confided to the creative outlet of pencil and paper to aid in his mental stress. The expression of mental turmoil stands in stark contrast to classical, antique art which always depicts a nude in a heroic stance, and never in a seeminS;ly weak or r,,ulnerable stance.

Bender, Stephanie. Vienna Secession. Post lmpressionism and Surrealism. FSU Lecture 20L3 3 Bender, Stephanie. Vienna Secession. FSU Lecture 2013

-11

Expressions of Mental Health in Art History

one of .schiele's major influences was Norwegian panter and printmaker, Fdward Munch. Munc:h's intensely treatmeniof piychologoical themes built on some of the main tenets of late lgtr, century sym6lism and, greatly influenced German Expressionism in the early ZOtr' Century. In his paintings; Evening on Karl,loltans Gate ISgz and Madonia lggs-lgorit is clear that Munch was not very keen on being an extravert. In both paintings there is an element of fearfulness and anxiety within Munch's impasfo- - paintinl; techniqueo.

Edward Munch, Eveni;ng on Karl"fohans Gate The suliects of his paintirq; in livening on KarlJohans Gate don't eyrn 1,loO

human whic--h represent the i.solatit'x that Munch fblt bwards society. He depicted their faces, in a ghostly m anner, and their apryat*nces all mirrored t'lne another thus representing his view of them as soulless-sheep by that coexist in the city. His choice of line and oolt'rr, which he was alsc-r influenced by \Ian Ciogh and Gaugin, helped expre.ss his personal angst against society and himselll

Munch, Madonna 5 6

Bender, Stephanie" Vienna Secession. FSU Lecture 2013 Bender, Stephanie. Expressionism. FSU Lecture 2013

Expressions of Mental Health in Art History

Another painting where Munch used line and color to express himself was in the painting Madonna.In this painting, Munch approached the iraditional subject of the Viryin Mary in a very radical, abstract way. He depioted the Madonna in a very promiscuous,.gauntly manner. He drew her eyeless, and exposed her breasts-which is a characteristic that no other major artist has ever done. The entire frame of this painting is outlined in sperm-signifyrng her pregnancy. She is also 5{ven a halo, framedrin red which reveals Munch's ever-53rowing concern with his hostility towards women. Similar to Schiele, Munch used art to convey his true, inner emotions in away thathe was unable to through langua.ge-

Art is a serious and beneficial emotional outlet that allows the artist to submerge himself in whatever form of 'art s/he choo.ses. Schiele chose to utilize pencil andcharcoal, negative space and shading, whereas Munch used paint, color and line. This leads us to the popular Post-Impressionist artist, Vincent Van Gogh. Like Munch, Van Go1;h used line and color to help express his inner conflict/emotion. "Color is said to do everythintrl" Van Gogh z. This and the use of very loose impasto were 5;uidelines for Van liogh that he abided by

when painted.

Van Ciogh, Bedroom at Arles For example, in his painting Bednnrn at Arles, 1888he used the oolor blue to help .set the tonel the image evokes a calm, sober response. This was a hu5;e contrast when compared tohis Night Cafd, 1888where he used the color red to help set the tone; evoking discomfort with heavy thick impasto that coincided with him feeling uncomfortable while hanging out at the

cafe.

Expressions of Mental Health in Art History

In one of his last and most popular paintings Staruy Night, 18,i9, Van Gogh expressed his serious mental troubles about his soon-approachinS5 death. His depiction of the cypress tree, which is associated with death, is a key example of Van Gogh's anxiety about dying. He used extremely thick, loose impasto when paintin5; the slqr, which represents the other-worldly. The slry is shown more elaborately than the entire city; focusing again on his preoccupation with

ath.

Van Gogh, StarryNight

While Schiele, Munch, and Van Go5qh represent different er.as in art history, they all act as examples of afiist from the late 19th and early 20tl, centuries that used linc', form, and color in arttu convey their inner conflict. Art can be therapeutic for anyone who chooses to u.ses it an emotional outlei. Art has been proven tobe a form of self-medication that helps individuals deal with the strulp;les of their personal lives. Expressive, emofion-driven art does not necessarily cure whatever mental problem an artist is personally strugg;ling (although it mfo;ht), but it has been proven to help the artist cope with iheir particular anxieties by providing them with catharsis. It is expressive and much more relevant to the viewer than say, the realistic sculpture Dawdby Michelan5;elo-which is whai modern, abstraci act was essentially stirring away from during this time. Images

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Murrclr, l,tlwanl. Madonna. Wikapc.dia Van tir.gh, Vincent. Eednxxn at At'1c..r. 1888. Wikapeclia Van Goglr, Vincent. Stany Miclrc'lar,gelo,

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RADICAI TOYIN': Rejecting Monogamy as a Form of ResistanceBy Rachel Saxer

"HEY,I LOVE YOU. YEAH, YOU. YOU'RE MY ONE AND ONLY," We've all heard this in some form or another, or said it ourselves. We've all graduated from friendship to "talking" to casual sex into the facebook official, exclusive unit, Brangelina Jopitt At first it's really nice, romantic even. The fact that someone would commit themselves to you is a big indicator that you're something special, something to covet, something to declare as a coveted something. You continue along in a dreamycreambeach embrace while fireworks explode, crowds part, edges blur, and before you know it you've recreated the West Side Story forbidden love dance sequence; you're the only two people who exist in your lovefogwarld. Eventually, the lovedrunkeness fades and after belonging to one another for some amount of time the shadows of this commitment begin to rear their ugly heads. Some people engage in subverted psychological warfare, while for others it is social comparison or jealous pissing contests, and there is a clear-cut territory of what is "mine" and what is "yours". For many, monogamy is rarely a dreamycreambeach for long and evolves into a relentless battle of protecting their precious union. Life and love just aren't that simple, making monogamy one of the most common counterintuitive facets of our modern existence. The truth is, there are many ways in which the capitalist patriarchy that our society is structured by has created "defaults" that serve to benefit its agenda; one example is the interpersonal relationship default of monogamy. While it has been known to exist throughout history the single-partner relationship model takes on an entirely different function within the context of a capitalist and patriarchal society. It fosters emotions linked with possessiveness and jealousy and thus allows for a Iover to be commodified or fetishized in the same way that products are commodified and fetishized within the larger economic structure.

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Power dynamics within a monogamous relationship cause numerous inequities between partners, such as assigning distinctly different roles and expecting particular patterns of behavior based on gender norms, sexual double standards (granting men greater sexual freedom than womenJ, and ideas of ownership. In many ways, these inequalities come to mirror the power dynamic present between an employer and employee, upper class and lower class, master and slave, etc. In other words, the widespread cult of monogamy is a microcosmic expression of class struggle and power relations occurring within a capitalist patriarchy. Furthermore, this cult of monogamy,like many other oppressive devices, is made to seem natural while other ways of relating, such as polyamory, are largely demonized or portrayed with an added emphasis on their deviance. The naturalization of monogamy inhibits social change even in the most radical circles by internally perpetuating aspects of a capitalist patriarchy while remaining undetected by those participating*despite their conscious [and sometimes contradicting)

political identity.

"PENGUIN LOVE" OR EVIL GENIUS! A Brief History of Monogamy

According to Gerda Lerner's The Creation af Patriarclry monogamy was non-existent prior to the development of agriculture. In early egalitarian societies, it has been theorized that because humans did not understand the process of 1 egg + 1 sperm = 1 baby, people did not have partners and instead raised children collectively. There was no concept of a single biological father, and it has been suggested that people may have actually thought that there needed to be a contribution from all the males in order to have a healthy baby! Meaning, everyone was having sex with everyone for the good of everyone. The process of reproduction and birth was so mystifying that women were revered as goddesses with the power to create, to destroy, and to transform. As for the argument of needing a single male to help as a caregiver for children it is much more likely that women formed communities of supportwith other women in the absence of males. Due to the creation of agriculture, women who previously shared in food production through both gathering and hunting were then relegated to the production of labor (makin'and raisin' babies) in order to sustain a sedentary agricultural lifestyle. The initial sexual division of labor was purely because men were more

RADICAL LOVIN'

valuable plowing and tending to the livestock while women made sure that their children lived long enough to join them in the fields. As agriculture and private property became more prevalent, so then did the ownership of labor and the creators of labor [women). Men did not want to provide for children that were not biologically theirs and there was a shift from collective egalitarian parenting to an early form of a monogamous unit With this also came the sexual double standard between men and women. Women were seen as property and their sexuality functioned as a tool for reproduction; whereas rnen, devoid of the possibility of pregnanry, remained free to take a wife, multiple wives, and even concubines. In other words, monogamy became a ploy to control the sexual behavior of women, while men, because of their newly-formed ballin'social status, could remain free to behave however they pleased. Thus, institutionalized monogamy [marriageJ was developed as a way to secure male lineage and even political boundaries; rather than to make a statement about the level of commitment between the two partners..

From tJre Tao Te Ching: "lVhat is well planted cannot be uprooted, What is well embraced cannot slip away. Your descendants will carry on the ancestral sacrifice for generations

without end. Cultivate Virtue in your own person, And it becomes a genuine part of you. Cultivate it in the family, And ir will abide. Cultivate it in the community, And it will live and grow. Cultivate it in the state, And it will flourish abundantly. Cultivate it in the world, And it will become universal. Hence a person must be judged as person; A family as family; A community as community; A state as state; The world as world. How do I know about the world? By what is within me."

Rejecting Monogamy as a Form of Resistance

"IT',S JUST A RELIITIONSHIP THOUGH, WHATEVE& IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REAL ISSUTS" Power Structures and ManarchY To further understand how one is oppressed through their interpersonal relationships, one must first understand the way hierarchical power structures operate within a cellular organization of society. A hierarchical structure defines power and determines who has power over whom, Society is organized on a cellular level with the home being the center, hence the expression "nuclear family". However, one can look beyond the family as the center and claim that the self is the center,

moving outward into the family, the schools, the businesses, the government, and the corporate elite. This cellular organization alone is benign in terms of oppression, but what causes this organization to become oppressive is the hierarchal structure that is rooted in capitalist patriarchy. Capitalist and patriarchal values travel through the levels of organization and oppression largely travels downward, Power thus travels in one direction and the true psychological effects are gathered at the nucleus of the cell or, in other words, in the self and the way the self interacts with other individuals. This culmination of values is expressed most intensely in one-on-one interactions with people, as it is both concentrated and subtle. While an abusive interpersonal relationship is much different from a corporation's disregard for the well-being of its workers or its negligence towards environmental laws, the patterns of entitlement, disrespecg and abuse remain the same. A corporation that is abusive towards its employees and the environment is a magnified expression of an abusive partner towards their lover. These may seem Iike different ways of relating, however, a corporation needs the environment to provide its product and receive its waste in the same way a lover's product is affection and security and its waste is emotional or physical abuse, manipulation, possessiveness or jealousy. Because of the feminization of emotions, intuition, and nurturance, many conflicts within interpersonal relationships are not addressed; to address these issues would be "effeminate" and thus "weak", regardless of the gender of the people involved. This undermining of the importance of emotional well-being is the primary way in which interpersonal relationships are not taken into consideration as mediums for radical social change. The notion that social change occurs in the

RADICAL LOVIN'

public sphere compromises the equally true reality of social change occurring in the private sphere. In other words, it is erroneous to think that politics do not transcend public and private boundaries. In the radical community, the slang term "manarchy" has developed to describe men who perpetuate ciipitalist and patriarchal values despite their political identity as anarchists, anarcho-socialists, the radical left, and so on. Urbandictionary.com defines manarchy as, "An ideology that claims resistance to systemic oppression, but is blinded by its own privilege; largely the domain of young, straight, white, able-bodied, cisgendered college-educated men. A portmanteau of "man" and "anarchy" which brings about the point of privilege.

Undermining the importance of interpersonal relationships allows males in the radical community to simultaneously reject capitalism and patriarchy publicly while paradoxically perpetuating the same values they outwardly reject by capitalizing on the institution of monogamy, Blinded by their privilege, many "manarchists" disillusion themselves into thinking that women's issues are not class issues and that first you must rid society of capitalism and patriarchy will follow. They fail to see that both capitalism and patriarchy are severely interconnected and that the rhetoric of "women's liberation will come later" is in itself patriarchal; and that the model of interpersonal relationships they are subscribing to happens to be the same model of exploitation used by the people in the higher classes to'oppress'said males. While they feel exploited and oppressed by those above them in the public hierarchy, women feel exploited and oppressed by them, the men that are supposed to be their lovers, their partners, and their friends,

Without question, there is a tendency for "manarchists" to emphasize fighting oppression in the streets but not in the bedroom. This is extremely problematic because of the organization of society.Why reject something in the outer realm of the cell that you would not reiect in your own nucleus? If one wants to plant a seed of equality wouldn't the most effective place to start be in their relationships? If one wants ultimate freedom and autonomy for society, would they not first want that for their lover?

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Rejecting Monogamy as a Form of Resistance

Ascribing oneself to radical politics without applying the interpersonal dimension is merely taking what is convenient from radical theory and applying it to one's life. This will never adequately effect change because in order to destroy a capitalist patriarchy, one must destroy it in all of its manifestations. Monogamy is an important device to the system because, with the power dynamics that have been conditioned into this default relationship style over generations, it perpetuates oppressive values on an intimate and emotional level that seep into other behaviors of those involved. If one were to reject institutionalized monogamy in their interpersonal relationships, their relationships could break free from the constraints ofcapitalist and patriarchal values. The freedom and autonomy granted to them and their lover would carry out into other levels ofsocietal organization, transform the nucleus, and eventually the rest of the cell would also be transformed.

"WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE $$$ NOW, SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?" Gender, Capitalism, and Internal Colonization

Over time, society became fully immersed in a capitalist economy and the existence of monogamy was rooted less in the physical reality of legal ownership and rooted more in a psychological acquiescence to a dominant paradigm. According to Capital by Karl Marx, a commodity is defined as, "an object outside us, a thing that by its properties satisfies human wants of some sort or another," and in the instance in which lovers are commodified they are dehumanized for the purpose of selfish pleasure, security and control. This was the initial approach, as women had little to no legal rights; but with the rise of the feminist movement, women's legal status changed*and yet monogamy continued to exist. Not unlike sexism, both the Church and the State originally institutionalized monogamy and their influence still resonates centuries later as monogamy remains the default that has come to be perceived as natural through internal colonization (through a bombardment of a monogamous culture filled with songs like "You're the still the one", "If I can't have you I don't want nobody Baby", "Don't Mess Wit My Man", the list goes on.) Furthermore, capitalist ideas of supply and demand translate into a relationship as, "if she loves her, she must love me less," which is absurd. Love is abstract, it has no limits; unlike nonrenewable

RADICAL LOVIN'

natural resources, which are finite. Capitalists tend to make abstract concepts like frme and love have limits; whereas tangible things like IHE EARTH are seen as abstract and unlimited, a gaping hole with endless possibilities. But I digress. Because of monogamy's inherently oppressive past, it is not surprising that its modern incarnations gravitate towards possessive thought patterns and behaviors. The philosopher Osho wrote on the nature of possession, "A person cannot be possessed. Ifyou try to possess them, you will kill them, they will become things." This statement attests to the flaws in the fetishized nature of monogamy and its ability within a capitalist patriarchy to become a device for oppression. People come to understand and value everything in terms of what they have and don't have and this mentality becomes transferred into interpersonal relationships.

The idealization of monogamy undermines the ability for individuals to exist asseparate individuals in love. Think of your friends, how many friends you have, how often you see them, what you like to do together, and how you feel about them. Is |amie you're "get drunk, wear wigs, and eat cheeseburgers together friend"? While Lee is your "find a field, read a booh and shoot the shit all day long" friend? When you're not around are Lee and famie, "Buy matching 2 for 1 Gatorades ana reminisce on all the kidshit pranks they did before they knew you" friends? Yes. Yes. And Yes. The fact that every person is a unique, free individual results in the fact that your relationships with other unique, free individuals will differ based on who you are and what you bring to it and vice versa. To restate with a quote by Anais Nin, "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Now think of your lover in the same way. What is different? What remains the same? Does your relationship with your lover differ from your friends because you have a sexual relationship? Is there an added level of ernotional intimacy? Or both? If one has many friends that they value as free, unique individuals why can't their lover(s] exist also as

Rejecting Monogamy as a Form of Resistance

free, unique individual(s]? The hesitation is probably because we've been socialized to tokenize our Iovers on the pretense that we're entitled to*because we're having sex with them. One would think that the more weight given to a relationship the more one would respect the individual in the relationship. Instead, because of the idealization of monogamy, the more meaningful a relationship becomes, the less meaning is given to the individuals themselves, resulting in tokenized versions of the

individuals relating to one another through

preexisting commitment.

Imagine a world where monogamy doesn't exist, where you don't have to define your interpersonal relationships by an agreed structure, and a lover is just your lover because that is how you like to relate to each other; a world where your lovers are more like your friends, Sounds nice, doesn't it?

This is not to say that monogamy is inherently bad, just that it is mriused. Single-partner relationships have the potential to be healthy, long lasting, and ultimately beneficial for both partners. With that being said, the benefits of monogamy are only present if the commitment adequately reflects the interests and desires of both partners. Pure interests and desires-wishes that are a reflection of an individual's personality-which are harnessed as a means for each individual's personal definition of fulfillment, success, and comfort to be attained. The comfort that tends to be derived from default monogamous relationships is a sense of comfort that is arguably contrived as a result of socialization. Many attest that a cornmitment to monogamy provides a sense of security. However, this validation is likely to fail due to the fact that its existence is rooted in external circumstances fsecurity is only a perception, not a fact). Furthermore, the modern default model of monogamy serves as a "one-size-fits-all" solution to intimary. It cannot ever accurately reflect the complexities of interpersonal relationships or enable the capacity for partners to grow separately and together in their own individual ways, because they are simply living by someone else's design.

RADICAL LOVIN'

WANT TO BE POLYAMOROUS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BUT THINK TITBETS ARE OPPRESSIVE? SO YOU

Easier said than done. A good starting point is by readingThe Ethical SIut By Dossie Easton and fanet Hardy. This was a pretty revolutionary read for me. It was truly liberating in the sense that it acknowledged my curiosity for open relationships in a healthy, "how to" sot't of way. Granted, I became a polyamory poster child of sorts after it was finished and embarked on a long and bumpy journey full of heartaches and confusion. But that's any relationship, Authored by poly-kink veterans/sex therapists, this book combats the "norm" of monogamy, and showed me that realationships can take any form.

Some other avenue$ include: practicing open honest communication, getting regular STI checks, establishing (realistic) boundaries, and

Iistening to

this* PQI,YA MQ RY PARTY PLAY-I,.I.ST

"You Don't Own Me" *Leslie Gore "l Want You But I Don't Need You"-Momus "Semi-Babe"-Pop Levi "None of Your Business"- Salt-N-Pepa "What's Love Got to Do With lt"-Tina Turner

"fumpin |umpin" -Destiny's Child "Rebel Girl"-Bikini Kill "lt's Raining Men- The Weather Girls "Easy To Be Around" - Diane Cluck "Das Me"-Brooke Candy "Bump and Grind"- R. Kelly "Human Nature"-Madonna "l Want to Fuck all the Girls in My School"-Bazooka "Tie Me Down"- New Boyz ft. Ray I Apply radical politics to your personal life and slowly watch your relationship anxieties, fears of infidelity, possessive/unhealthy thought patterns, and the "system" disappear.

Music as an Emotional

Outlet-

by Rosie Richeson

Music is a powerful emotional fool that canhave a huge impact on someone's life. This article consists of interviews with musicians and listeners who talk about how songwritingg and music has affected their mental health. Throughout these interviews, a common theme was the following assertion: "I don't know what I would do wiihout music". It is a part of them. It's how they express themselves when they can't find the words. It's how they figure out their problems and reflect on their thoughts. It's how they make new friends, build closer relationships, and relate to others. This article specifically focuses on Do-It-Yourself (DI\') culture. f)IY culture, as defined in this article, describes a community of people that relies heavily on the contributions of its members and internal nehvorkinS; to function and aims to create sornething outside of mainstream, capitalist society. The ideas behind the DIY ethos are slated that anyone can do them. Creatin5; a publication, a song, and being yourself are encouraged. It is a place where your voice can be heard and relationships are created.

"Sometimes it really helps me to just have someone else's song to play over and over again to get myself out of a rut. Like this is something that gives me hope or I can use it as a mantra for when I get caught in a negative or excessive thought, I use this song as medicine. I can name a bunch of other people's songs that have been my go-to songs, but I have written songs for myself to have something to feel better about and concentrate on instead of whatever is making me depressed." *David Combs singer/songwriter

"Sometimes you forget that you wrote these songs in an emotional place and you just play and it'll catch you off guard and those emotions will come back to you. There are some songs that I don't feel comfortable singing anymore. Like the song'Church'has lyrics that are, "l put one down, my feet made circles on the ground" and that's about drinking and dancing and the song ends with, "l put one down, my feet made circles in the air" and that's about me wanting to hang myself. That didn't happen obviously and I'm stoked that it didn't, but having to tell people that and trying to dig up those emotions to be able to play that song properly.. I just don't ever want to get in that frame of mind again." -O ukit Kay e sing er so ngwriter

Music as an Emotional Outlet

On hearing a band talk about their song lytic.c for the first time: "There was one grind show that was a totally different experience. They were talking about how their lyrics were about their friend getting raped and it was a whole other world exposed in this room where these bands were playing. They were so passionate about what they were talking about and you could see that their outlet was this band. It was really eye opening."

*Mick Tangelo music enthusiast

On the personal signitic:ance of lytic-s: "Lyrics from the band Sleater-Kinney continue to influence me. They have a lot of songs that speak to women's issues and are from a woman's perspective. A Iot of their songs talk about being a female musician compared to men. It's very specific to me because it directly relates to me and that's very special to me.."

-Lily

Riche son sing

er/ son gwr iter

"As a musician, when people are singing your lyrics you think,

"l am somebodyl

I'm important! People know my shit!" But then it's like, do they actually know the root of these lyrics? If they did would they still sing it? lt's definitely inspiring but I feel like more often than not it almost creates this separation. Unless I've talked to someone individually about what the song is about and they are going through something similar and they get it, then yeah it's okay for them to sing along because they understand. There are hands whose lyrics make absolutely no sense to me and I scream the shit out of them because I a different story to them and they mean something to me. It may mean something completely different to them. So having that realization is weird like whatever meaning they're putting to my lyrics causes sort of a separation for me." *Ouikit Kaye singer/songwriter

wrote

On the importance of band mentbers talkiryg abut their sonS;s and the emotional expetienc'e tblt when learuing alnut a particular band's lyrics, "The first time I saw the band Des Ark, and many times when I see women playing music, I'm almost moved to tears. Like when a woman or person of color is talking about why they're pissed off or just expressing themselves in a way that I can relate to, I definitely have an emotional connection and reaction. think that why it's important to talk about what songs are about because sometimes you don't get that connection or understanding without talking." *Lily Ri che son sing er/ sang w riter

Music as an Emotional Outlet

()n the powerfu| impact of music without lyics: "A lot of instrumental songs get to me because they're more abstract and my mind can wonder. No matter what, I can feel the way I feel and sometimes I feel Iike a lot of that can get lost in communication when you pay too much attention to the lyrics." -Adrienne Tabet music enthusiast

On writirry; ntusic to understand your.self and your problems: "l feel like when I write something, I don't know what it means at all and that experience lasts like, years and I don't really understand it. If you're trying to understand yourself and your problem, try to make songs about it and they'll change shape and color and that problem or issue you're trying to figure out about yourself will take on new meaning and change. You may never understand it...."

*Cory Driscoll

si ng

er/ songwriter

On how powerful it is to hear that

their .texuality:

lour

songs have helped people di.tcover

"lt's been particularly very powerful for me to know that I've been able to help people getthrough one ofthe hardest processes in our culture. I've had people tell me that my songs have helped them understand their sexuality and coming out, and that's very important to me, not in a tooting my own horn way, but that it's t}te best thing I've heard from people. Because I've known from my own experiences how hard it is to come out, and being able to help people in a small way has been really important to me."

*David Combs singer/songwriter

Music as an Emotional Outlet

On how being in a band with friends, pefforming in front of ftiends, and watching your ftiends perforu c:an help build morc .golid relationships: "When I was in the band'Oh Fortuna', having sing-alongs was our thing. There was this line that was, "For my friends for my family dying out and living for eternity." and we were all best friends singing that together and then we would Iook out at the front row to all of our friends singing that together it iust gives me goose bumps now just remembering that. fust the feeling of writing something and wanting to share it with people and then them singing and taking part and realizing that they want to share it with us too. It's just

incredible."-f ames

artin

s ing

er/ songwriter

"There's a lyric at the end of one of our songs that goes "l've been all across tlre states but my friends light up this place and if I'm leavin, it won't bc today" Basically it's about celebrating where you are, whether you wanna be there or not, because of the people who are there. Looking into a crowd of your friends singing songs that you wrote about them is weirdly awesome!"

-Nathan Walters singer/songwriter

"l love watching my friends play because it's always been a great way to get to know people better. Through their attempts to tell [he truth about themselves, it's the best way I know how to relate to them. It's a unique experience in itself and the only way I know how to get close to them."

*Cory Driscoll singer/songwriter

"We would talk about his lyrics and we would ask him what a linc ntcant or iI ltc was writing about his depression we would ask him about how it was going and how he is feeling. It's a way of communicating with each other espccially whcn you know the person."

* James Martin singer/songwriter

I went to sea to struggle for a space to So much of radical stru5gle is our strug;le to create space to exist in. Space where we can try new things, space where we can interact or live away from the onslaught of oppressions normalized in our day-to-d*y, space to breathe. We find and fight for these spaces in a myriad of ways: we use social networks to create new collnections and opportunitiesr'we find and occupy terrains with each other that we could flever access alone, we explore communication in ways that allow us to understand ourselves and others more fully, we work on new projects to try to make something worthwhile, we squat abandoned houses to breathe new life info the forgotten, and we commit crimeq !q!g_s:.:9n-q.q{ p4{ticlip4-{9n ip slavery, to name a simple few.

'<W.:i:W#fr.411!\<:S

i=''.'.l.::-\\S*S#W4tfii,l+:.

::::::s:

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A major factor in this struggle fbr space is the basic factthat all the land on our planet is diwied up and owned a-s property. There i.sn't a square inch of land, water, or air that doesn't arlswer to sorne regulatory body. This confines us to existin54 in a particular space, and prevents u's from exploring the world freely. For centuries, people have attempted to head out to sea to escape the modern world and move towards a life worth livi : there currenflv seems to be surge of radicals feeling this inertia.

The romance of the sea tempts with many diff'erent sirens. I

S*;il

i" .

T, re

very typical technologically-mediated suburbancul-de-sac, devoid of emotional nurturing or depth. I saw the ocean as a place where I would be in rnore direct communication with nature and myself. I saw it as an opportunity to experiment with trylng to feel alive. It is said thal bttsiness as usual is the worst possible outcome, so I find myself constantly seeking ways to subvert and escape ci has been from the be5;inning.

,F;X

Part of the draw towards the ocean for me is the belittlement' I was told by Western society that if my special liftle snowflake-self trtedhatd enough, one day I could be someone andhave a statue made in my honor. To the ocean, I'm no one. It constantly Siives me perspective; you can plead until you haven't abreath left in you for an interruption in the cycles of the wind and ride, bur they will conrinue onlHllbguI_4 sl]I*$ff-gl{pffigg

for you. I find validation in this.

ffiilffi

Sailing andbaat handlinSq demand that you work with natute? not a5qainst it; even the best sailors in the world catr't make 'an inch without the help of ,the elements. We find fulfillment from the faci that our lives are so directly connected to the world around us. I went out to .sea to discover. I knew most of the world around me was not nreant for me. I don't feel safe in society, in capitalism,inpattrrarchyrin

hetero-normative culture. I didn't know what living on aboat would look like, but I was romanced and interested to try. At first, I brainstormed and tried to find ways to bring my politics into this new lifestyle. We had reading groups to keep us connected to the world yfe were parting f'rom, we decided thirigs collectively, and we,atlgggrecllg create safe environments tbr each other. We hardly had time or energy to do an1'thing more, and there was the fact that boats demand so much of you. You're learning to live in a new forei5in world where everything aroundyou is bre.aking, and every second you're learning how your boat could improve. The vast ocean asks much from you, but more demanding is navi5iating the waterfronts you're on. Many to keeo anvonc from visitinq without heftv fees harbors have set and hassle

'!,:=,w--

A majority of cruising sailors (usually older white men who use their sailboat's motor, rather than its sails and the wind, to get around) are retired professionals whose financial situations starkly contrast that of me and my friend.s. Consequently, we are not left with much to work with' Sneaking arowd, fixing thin5Es, and literalla"*tlyt"g uflglljuk*t =ll and leaves little to discover with.

ace.to exist in.

@lfinse.

..Wrr The

fitii ;i;rm i *as in, I literally thought i

their roommate possibly eatin5; their cereal. Quite a confrast to my near-

days in a row' I had fear and anxiety at every sunset for the next year from ,,, it. I live in a constant fear of myboat while sailing- whenever somethitr breaks it br'comes my life to repair it best I can, which is rarely good enough. It reminds me of my failures and inabilitie.s at every turn. The r"'successes feel wonderful, but they're usually overshadowed.

fulfillment every time we're able to use a breeze to take us where we want to go. There's little in this world like a well-trimmed sailing vessel making; wav to a sailor. W:..-....:J..:::-isis.-

Another lioal of mine was to escape. I believe this came from the same urge felf by people who desire to buy land- the desire for a blank slate to carve something out for themselves. The sea is owned: even the farthest reaches of internafional waters have regulations. Every bit of land you stop in, you're subject to the rules and laws of the nations as they can best enforce it. It's traethat aside from common thoroughfares and sailing close to land, it's rare to see another vessel; yet the quesfion remains of what to do with this found space. It's a demandin5i place to meet your needs in, and one that's completely cut otT t'rom society. Jusi like hiking off the beaten path, out of sight of anyone for days, is nice in the short term, it feels wonderful to be out of reach. I want that socially though, with my friends and people I care for, in a world I can survive in. My tiny boat demands of the vessel aren't met comfortably.

The question is what to do with this escape. I sai brainstorming with friends of what to do when we wert all at an 11-story abandoned hotel with no one around for miles. lust because we can have it doesn't ntean we want it.

K:..:.

went to sea to str

a space to exist in.

s: s. The more time I spend out at sea, the more I diverge from my ability to interact in culture. I am afraid of becoming lonely, forgotten, and irrelevant. The ocean sculpts you in ways that are out of step with the , , modern world. It works at a pace and oonnection that could never exist in cities, and asks you to (literally) steer your life away f'rom society in order

roparricipate.

,.!

i}11

The harsh yet simple laws of the sea affer an escape from lit'e as we know it, but one that is temporary--as long as we hold onto our ties ashore. I've growyl so much from my time in the oceans, but in directions that culture does not appreciate. This strugg;le of mergin5; different lives togethe r

% --E i

preserrtschallengesandconflicts,mostofthenrirreconcilable.

:titr1il1ffi;t';,:;

' ffiMB, Why further why do I continue to refurn to

cast myself away from ,'.,:,,''' the world I'm immersed in ashore? Because it offers a simpler life, one that 'iliilli,tiit, makes more sense. There's liftle mediation; it's an escape t"rom . lienation inhereni in modern life. The world you live is in front of you,

sea?

the

ry change thathappens you can feel. I find so much comfort in this. Evety ruile attained was eat"ne.d, evetygallon of water c:ollectedt every tiait or fish gathercd and hunted.

're,'',S.'.'

,,.SW

You know the clouds and stars above you, the cycles of the moon and the movement of the stars that marktime's passage, along with the flow of the lide and changes in the wind. Where I am now at 0715 the sutr comes into the cabin, at 1000 the wind shifts east, at 1830 the e"grets return to their roost, at 2OOO the sea is completely calm.

night@jlgIllg

I'm overwhelmed by the complexity and alienation of .society; I went to sea to sttusyEle tbr a space to exist in. There are moments where I f'eel alive, directly, but mostly I'm still searching. Those moments are entrancing, and send me searching for the next one in hopes I canhangonto it forever.

ffiiSi.::. "l

artr a citizen of the most beautiful naticn on earth. A nation whr;se laws are harsh yet sirnple, a natirx fhat never cheats, which is itnmense"atrd without hotlers, whele lit'e is iived in the presenf. In this limitless natit-rn, this nation of wind, light, and peace, there is no t'rther nrier lresides the sea." -Ber:nald Moitessier

stevevon"-steve(i.?gmai l.com cutlrentsagainstu s.wordpress.oom

Epilog by Vlad Dandu

I heard that this morning you did not find your way back lo your bed, to your sweet soon-to-be-wife, mother ofyour fiva. You leaned too far and like ice cubes hitting tile, you broke into bits of nothing.

Your mind was bruised and you thought of blue black evenings, harrowing pendulums swung about your head, mocking all that was good, and you were even afraid to drive to work in the mornings. But you found the railing and thought of quietly taking flight into the weathered sidewalk.

Your friend, my father, shook under the weight of the box they put you in, and your deafbrother cried in grave tones until morning found him tearless on hardwood floors.

I remember standing at the edge of the rail, on the first January morning. lt snowed more than we expected and you laughed with a sepia tone whiskey glass in hand and that kind goatee you refused to shave. 'l'he eight stories below me dissolved

with the flakey breeze and I kept from looking down.

I.et It OuU was pubfished on behalf of The Outlet Mental Health Community Center andthelcarus Pnoject The Ouflet Mission Statement the Outlet

is a Tallahassee community mental health rcsource organized as a response fo a perceive.d lack of affordable mental health care. The center will fill this need with a local space and core of volunteers dedicated to working witll those who come to us for help. By providing a varieiy of services, including group and peer counseling, ar{s-based activities, zurd referrals to professional counseling, the center will make mental health cru'e more accessible for all. To sustain the space and cover the costs of counseling, ii will have a dual function as a community space for the arts" With these services and opportunities, the Outlet strives to enr{ch comrnunity ties in Tallahassee and remove the social stigma of mental illness while working toward making our cily a healtlder place.

rheoutlet General Meetings:

first Mondayof every month 7:30p.m. at The Oasis Center for Women and Girls 317 E Call St theoutlettallahas.see@gmail. com

Icanrs Froject Mission Statement The lcarus Project is a radical mental health suppolt group facilitated by anel for those stru;igling with varying ernotional distress. It is onr hope that, toge.ther, we can reclaint our emotional experiences, reriefine thenr under our terrns and corne to apprcciate them for the dangernus gilts that they are. By emphasizing the external causes for mental distr.ess (i.e. racism, ethnocentrism, abelism, capitalisrn etc....) not orrly do we aspire to find the root cause of our owrr struggle but explore the intersectionaiiiy of mental lrealth related issues. Meetinl;s:

lirst Sunday cf every nnrnth 4:OOpm at the Chain of Parks (behind

kon Ci'unty Public Library)

theicarusproiecttallahassee@gmail.com

Network

q-I

T allahassee's

wellness gurde

Yictirn Advocacy- The Leon County Sheriffs Victirn Advocacy line. {850) 9223300

Refuge House- Refuge House Inc, provides shelter, counseling, support groups and case management for abused women, their children and those who are survivors of sexualassault. For immediate service: (550) 681-2111 or (850) 5001L 19 www.relugettouse.cr:m

2-1-t 8ig Bend- A free, confidential hotline available 24 hours a day 7 days a week They provide telephone counseling, crisis intervention, and community referrals. Diat

2-1-1 or (851) 617-6333

www.Zllbigbend.arg Suicide Prevention Lifeline- Free and confidential suicide prevention and mental health counseling available day or night for those who are in crisis or know of someone who nteds help. They are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. 1-800-273-TALK{8255} www.su ici deprw e n ti a nl ifel in e.a rg

Florida HIV/AIDS Hotline- Florida HIV/AIDS hotline is the statewide resource for

H IV/Al DS-related info rmation, community referrals a nd supportive telephone counseling. Callers receive information on HIV/AIDS related issues including locations oftesting sites and program seryices in Florida. They are available B a.m. -9 p.m. Monday- Friday, 10:30 a.m. * 6130 p.m. on Saturdays and

closed on Sundays. 1-800-FLA-AI DS {3 52-2437 } English, 1-800-545-SIDA [545-7432) Spanish, 1"800-4IDS- 1 0 1 (243 -7 1,0 l) Haitian Creole, 1 -BBB-5 03-7 1 1B TDD/TTY (H earing/ Speech Impaired)

Family Health Line- A free hotline offering counseling inf,ormation and referrals about pregnancy, infant and toddler issues. Available from B a.m. p.m. Monday' Friday, 10:30 a.m. * 6:30 p.m. during weekends. tB0a-451-222g

-i. L

National Domestic Violence Hotline - Hotline advocates are ayailable for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, inforrnation and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. t

-B0A-799.SAFE {72331

impaired) ':'

or 1-800.787-3224 ffrY for

speech and hearing

1 .,.

NationaIChildAbuseHotIine.TheHotIineo&rscrisisinteryendon information,literature. and referals to thousands'of emergency, roclal seryice; and support resources, All calls are anonymous and confidential. 1 -800-4- A-CH tLD ( 1 -500-422 - 4453)

EMERGENCY SERVICE PNOGRAMS

Foo{

ECIIO- ECH0, Emergency service program provides the foltowing: clothing and clothing vouchers, diapers, inknt/balry formula, house wares and, ftrrniture; {must have referral fronn a,qase worker or other agency for furniture), ..,:: two one wayloeal bus passes'ffora lscal round tripJ; bus passes ayailable on the first of thc month *nd uiually run out by the 6s, horneless clierit assistance vuith rbtaining birth certifieate and State ofFlorida ID for free or very Iow.cost financial assessrlents and b*dgeting counseling mid-day hot meal at 12:30 Sundays at the FirstPresbyterian Churchi 110 N Adarns St, corner ofPark, , Ave, blankets and heaters may be available according to resources, daily assistanee ou a first.s{me, first serve basis, resource$ Iimited'i.'-::.:,, '

become

7AZ W. Madison

fallahassee, Fl 3XA4

{Bs0) 224-3246

www.echotqlly.org

Eldsr Care $*rvices, fHE*p Program- Elder Care Services provideS:finansiai' assi$tance of up.tn$,S00 forinerme eligible persons 60+ fliving alone orwil'h

fami$J for cooling an{ heatiug bills {gas, electric, or propane}, ir pai{ dirg*ly to theutility provider.Total household incoroe must beleqs than $1,361 a nrotith f*r one person plus $477 far each additional person.:.r..:l 2518 W Tennes$ Sf;, fqfiofr assee,'Fl 32304

{850}921-55

www.e*bigbend.41gr Red Cross- The:Rdd Cr*ssprovides services ts help wi*r disaster preparedne*s, resouxes ,fo safe and wellness websites, and various support gefvices'ti: those in the armed forces^

llS$astwaod Dr, Tqllahassee, FL 32371 (850)B7B-6080 or {866} 943^9010

SUBSTAN(E ABUSE SUPPORT

AJ-AnonlAlateen- Provides self-help groups fbr famiry, friends or anyone affected by a person suffering frorn alcholism.

p0 BOX 13163 Tallahassee, FI JZS{T-3165 {85A)222-22e4

www.tal$alonon.arg

Alcoholics Anonymous- Provides ongoing support to people dealing with pfoblems related to alcoholism, 1106-

Tho masvill e Rd T allahe ss ee, Fl 3 A S 0J - 62 B 7

(Bs0)224-1818 '

Apalacheecenter, Detox unit- provides short-term {3-sd daysJ, medically

supervised, inpatient alcohol.and drug datoxification, assessment, education, ,and referals fdr aft*rcare. Stiding scale feeare available for persons without insurance. SHELTERS

The $helter' The,Shelter provides the following; Staff avail able 24 / 7 to serve adults and children with shelter, foo4 showers, and a variety of crisis ,., interyentions serviceg, dinner provided beginning at 7:30 pm; open to anyone {do not have to be,staying in the shelterJ, group meetings sueh as Alcoholics ,-Aqonymous are crnducted on site, and seryice providers from outside agencies .visit regularly to meet with elients in need of permanent housing employment, disability:benefits and other services. Mair shelter.closed at B:30 arn each ,

''rnorningrbutguest$ canremain on the property and also The shelter'r Day eehterr located.4ext dror at 466 w.esrTennessee st where they rnay watch rv . and hetp themselves to.coffee. Main shelter closed at B:30 am each morning, but ' gqqsts can remain on the properfy. The shelter's Day center, Iocated next door at 466 west Tennessee st where they may watch rv and help themselves to Day center is,open from 9am-4:30pm. ?he Day center setrves as ' ,coffe*rThe women/childreu only shelter overnighq main shelter is for men only overnight 468-4*0 l{.Tennessee St Tallah*ssee, Fl 32 S0 1

(Bs0)224-8448

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Aetion Agency, Emergency shelt*r program- providi! short period of emergency,shelter to homeless individuals and families in Lesn : 'counr5r lffhen Funds Are Available; priority given to homeless families with children whose'parentfsJ are either working, or have some kind of income such as Soeial Security, SSI disabilify income, unemplopnent benefits, etc. Available B a.m" -5 p.m {Clo*ed Noon- 2 p" m.l Monday - Friday; Closed on State Holidays 309 office Plaza Cr Tallahassee, Ft iZS01

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$so)222-204s

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