How Queerness Informs Ellie’s Character

How Queerness Informs Ellie's Character

Written by Jacqueline Merritt

In The Last of Us: Left Behind, we learn that Ellie, the driving force behind the main game’s story, is in love with another girl, Riley, and see them both share a kiss together. This moment is unfortunately, gated behind a $10 piece of DLC, and undercut by its separation from the main game’s story, but even within that context, it is a powerful moment of representation and characterization that adds clarity to Ellie’s character throughout the whole of the game.

When we first meet Ellie in the game proper, we immediately learn that she’s feisty, aggressive, and fiercely protective of the people she cares about. She attacks Joel, a man twice her size, on sight the first time they meet, because she thinks he poses a threat to Marlene, one of the few people she cares about. She also attempts to be self-sufficient and reliant whenever possible, going out of her way to stand up for herself in the face of huge threats, and refusing to blindly listen to authority, only trusting the guidance of those she knows have her best interests in mind.

With these characteristics alone, it’s easy to see why queer women might latch onto Ellie, as she embodies the kind of rebellious spirit a lot of us take up in our youth. They are, however, all surface details to her character; details that are not exclusive to queerfolk by any stretch, and don’t reach down to the psychological core of her character that defines her: her distrust and alienation from the rest of the world.

Because Ellie is immune to the cordyceps virus, she’s automatically set apart from other people in the world. Anyone who finds out she’s been bitten is immediately distrustful of her, and she has to hide that core aspect of herself and “pass” as normal in order to survive. Thanks to the story of Left Behind though, we learn that this pattern of behavior was normal for Ellie long before she was bitten, and see as her alienation from others affects her relationship with Riley.

Ellie describes Riley as her “best friend” at the end of the game proper, and from that description, we might expect them to be thick as thieves, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ellie’s relationship with Riley is complex, messy, and filled with ambiguity; she’s upset with her when Riley drops in to visit at the start of the DLC, and as the story goes on, we learn that the two of them parted on unpleasant terms, with Riley saying many hurtful things to Ellie that she later apologizes for. Throughout the story of Left Behind, we see the two of them work on communicating with each other, and slowly figure out how to express how much they both mean to one another, culminating in their aforementioned kiss, before they’re beset upon by infected, and bitten during their escape.

Ellie’s struggle to be honest in her relationship with Riley stems from clear trust issues. Riley herself seems to have left Ellie many times before, despite caring for her, and Ellie has a difficult time resolving Riley’s absence with her feelings. We see this kind of behavior from Ellie plenty in the main game too; Ellie’s entire relationship with Joel is founded on her desperate desire for the people who care about her to stay, and their biggest moment of conflict comes when Joel attempts to pass her off to his brother Tommy, and leave her behind with a complete stranger.

It’s here where the queer experience can begin to clearly inform Ellie’s character, as the alienation many of us experience from the wider world around us can cause us to develop the same type of trust issues as Ellie. Just like her, we’re forced to navigate a world where we have to hide a part of our existence for our own safety, and because of this, many of us tend to gravitate towards people who dole out affection and their presence in our lives as a reward. We can’t trust the affection given freely to us, since it can turn sour on a moment’s notice. But affection that comes as a struggle, and comes unreliably? Well that we learn to trust easily, because that inconsistency makes it feel more real and worthwhile, despite how unhealthy a relationship like this can be.

Ellie’s character arcs in Left Behind and the game proper then, are rebuttals to these unhealthy relationship dynamics, and key to the game’s themes. Left Behind, of course, explores Ellie learning to communicate with Riley and express her feelings honestly, but it also shows Ellie learning the value of resistance and maintaining a fighting spirit from Riley, a lesson made more meaningful due to Riley being a Black girl. Thanks to Riley, Ellie refuses to take the easy way out, and spends every single moment with her first love that she can.

Similarly, in the main game, Ellie does everything she can to make her immunity count, regardless of if it alienates her from others. She fights to get to the Fireflies, guarding and protecting her immunity, in order to make her difference mean something, and in doing so, proves that she treasures this metaphorical queerness the same way revolutionary queers like me treasure our queerness. Ellie’s battle against the world to use her otherness for its benefit is highly reminiscent of queer struggles, and is one of many reasons her queerness is essential to her character.

JACQUELINE MERRITT is a trans woman and experienced video editor who (in)frequently makes video essays on YouTube. You can find her on Twitter @JacquelineFilm and find her video essays at youtube.com/c/JacquelineMerritt