LOVE EVERYWHERE

Frazier, Kingston remain friends despite distance

SOPHIA WASSON • Staff Reporter •

After developing a strong friendship for the past four years, junior Addison Kingston and senior Samantha Frazier work to keep their friendship alive across the country.

Frazier moved for her senior year to Utah. This distance has not truly changed the extent of their friendship. They have many ways to stay in touch, and the two girls still talk daily.

However, the distance has made some aspects of friendship a little harder.

“Samantha and I saw each other a lot because we went to church together and school together, and I had to get used to not seeing her there,” Kingston said. “I would always go to her basketball games, and when basketball season rolled around and she wasn’t there it was hard. I had to get used to not seeing her at our normal [activities]. It’s really hard not being able to talk to her in person anymore.”

It wasn’t easy for Kingston when she was told the news that Frazier was moving.

“I was really sad because she was one of my best friends, especially at my church, everyone just loved her and she just made everyone super happy, so it was really sad to hear that she wouldn’t be there,” Kingston said.

Although this friendship hasn’t been separated until this move, Frazier has experience with moving throughout her life.

“The hardest thing about moving is the anxiety that comes from making new friends and enjoying your new school. When I found out, I of course was very sad and cried but we moved around pretty constantly, so I wasn’t too surprised. I wanted to take a couple days to wrap my head around it first before I told any of my friends,” Fraizer said.

Fraizer pulled Kingston aside at church and told her, so she wouldn’t have to hear it from the other people she told.

Kingston and Fraizer both say that they stay in touch through texting and checking up on each other regularly. They talk a lot about sports and what is going on in school.

Kingston also goes out and visits Utah sometimes and gets to see her best friend. The girls are going to see each other over spring break, but they usually see each other about once a year. Kingston plans to go out to college in Utah and hopes to see Frazier there.

“I think it is important to stay in touch with people that you appreciate and mean a lot to you, especially with moving because that can be hard getting new connections. The good ones are people who you can be friends with for life and you will always have their support. It is so good and meaningful to have,” Kingston said.

Both of the girls have a similar outlook on the type of love that friendship creates. They explain how having a best friend is so important.

“Friendship love is very important because it allows you to feel like there is always someone there for you who has your back and supports you,” Frazier. Despite the 1,300 miles, Frazier and Kingston decided their friendship was important enough to keep alive and thriving.

Intimacy plays significant role in teen relationships, personal development

DELANEY STULCE • Editor-in-Chief •

High school is a very influential time in a teenager’s life, particularly in the areas of friendship, political beliefs and personal aspirations. One aspect that is commonly explored is sexuality and intimacy. How students choose to explore this part of their lives may differ greatly.

Some students may choose a more casual approach, becoming sexually active during their high school years.

In a study conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), 42% of females and 44% of males were sexually active by age 18. Lafayette students have many perspectives on sexual activity in high school.

One of these students is Mary*, who became sexually active after dating her at-the-time boyfriend of five months. She believes taking the next step in her relationship made the connection much stronger and created a closer bond.

“We still had the same emotions for each other, but I guess scientifically when you look into it, I became a little bit more attached to that person because we had done that, and it was like ‘Oh this is my person now,’” Mary said. “It definitely took me to the next level of the relationship.” Not only did she feel her emotional bond was strengthened, but her overall confidence increased.

“I feel like we became more comfortable with each other, like I could change in front of him, and it would be fine. We definitely started to do more of that kind of stuff more often rather than just hang out,” Mary said.

The most important change to her had less to do with her partner and more to do with herself.

“I definitely felt more confident after that point because I could do something that a woman does. It made me feel more womanly rather than like a little girl,” Mary said. “It’s also an insecure thing to be doing because you’re completely vulnerable.”

Although she admitted after taking this next step, sex became a larger part of her time with her partner, she believes it was not exclusively centered around the physical.

“Having intimate relationships with people, you can be open about that kind of stuff, but it also leads to being open about things that aren’t physical or sexual. Just because you’re closer with them,” she said.

Becoming sexually active also led her to be more conscious of her health.

“I became more cautious of certain health aspects, whether it was about birth control, general sexual health or even possibly taking a pregnancy test,” Mary said.

Mary has no regrets becoming sexually active in high school and encourages people to explore this part of their lives if they’re ready for it.

“I think sex is fun, and sex is good for you. I think if you’re doing everything safe and taking precautions, people should be having sex if they feel comfortable,” she said. On the other end of the debate are students who believe high school relationships should focus more on the emotional and intellectual connection instead.

Susan* and the boyfriend she has had throughout high school have focused their relationship around their religious beliefs.

“For us, we try to base our relationship around God. Normally we do [focus on religion] in our lives, so it wasn’t very different,” Susan said.

Susan wants to use this time in high school to get close to her significant other and save other steps for later in their lives.

“We strive to be a certain type of way. We know we want to get married, and we know things after marriage we’re excited for. We know that’s in the future,” Susan said. “So, we try to dig deep on each other and our souls and what we want. When that does happen, we have a little of everything.”

Though she understands the draw of common high school relationships, she didn’t want her relationship to be casual.

“I feel like a lot of teenagers in relationships have fun and then they leave. For us it’s a little different,” she said.

Susan believes her relationship has been as healthy as it is due to her and her boyfriend’s similar perspectives.

“We both went into the relationship wanting the same things,” she said.

They both use their bond as a way to uplift and support each other.

“We want to be somewhat best friends and build each other up with our goals but also have a loving aspect. I think it has made it a lot stronger,” Susan said.

theimagemagazine Feb. 19, 2020 Betancourt discovers importance of self-image Lifestyles 17

KAYLA CARPENTER • Editor-in-Chief • “Self-love is important for high schoolers, because I feel like high school is where everything bad happens because there’s bullying, depression and anxiety. If you start loving and accepting yourself because of who you are, then you’ll feel amazing. There are some people who don’t think that way, and they fake their happiness for other people. That’s just not something you have to do. You first have to find yourself and make yourself happy, and after you do that, you can help others too. You always have to find yourself first,” sophomore Gina Betancourt said.

Betancourt knows a great deal about self-love and acceptance. Over the past two years she has experienced immense growth in those areas. When she was in eighth grade, Betancourt came out as gay.

“My mom picked me up early from school, and we were talking, and I was telling her about this new girl because we were getting close and stuff. And [my mom] looks at me, and says ‘So this girl. It sounds way different than your other friends.’ We started talking, and then I told her, and I started crying because I was really emotional. She hugged me and told me no matter what I am, she will always love me,” Betancourt said. “That really helped me because I come from a religious family, and I’m Hispanic, so I was scared of what my parents would say, but they were welcoming. They still love me.”

Coming out had a significant impact on both Betancourt’s life and the way she viewed herself. “Before I came out, I really wasn’t happy. I wasn’t loving myself because I thought it was wrong, me being gay or bisexual. I thought my friends would not accept me, but after I came out, I started loving myself more because that’s who I am, and I can’t change that,” Betancourt

said. “I was finally me, and I was finally happy with it.”

Yaitza Diaz, Betancourt’s mother, has seen Betancourt’s growth over the past two years but also notices her daughter’s internal challenges that many people are not aware of.

“When she was in middle school, she was afraid of what people would think. Now that she is in high school, she knows everyone is different, and everyone has the right to think differently. She is very clear on who she is and what she wants. She won’t ever let others see her struggles because she has a very strong character and personality, but inside of her there is a heart that often feels hurt. Society can be cruel, but I am doing my best to prepare her for the future,” Diaz said.

Betancourt is well aware of such cruelty. She was bullied throughout middle school and is still often mis-gendered.

“After I came out, [the bullying] got a bit worse in school. My family didn’t really know about it because I didn’t like to talk about it. I just don’t talk about my feelings sometimes, so I just kind of dealt with it myself,” Betancourt said. “As time went on, my parents started noticing that there was something up with me because I wasn’t talking, I was acting different. I had to get help from a therapist and all that because me not talking about it was making it worse, and I just had to let it all out.”

In addition to being bullied, Betancourt also lost friends when she came out, but those losses provided her with valuable knowledge.

“I’ve learned there will be people who hate on me for [being gay], and I will lose friends and probably family members. I lost one of my really close friends because she’s really religious,” she said.

“There are people who have their beliefs and their thoughts, and I have my own beliefs and thoughts. I think that no matter who you are and what you are, there will always be a place for you. There will always be someone who loves you for the way you are and not judge you for it,” she said.

Betancourt, however, has risen above her hardships. She’s not afraid to display her true personality, dress in her style or participate in the activities she enjoys.

“Whenever people [bully me], it’s because they’re jealous because I’m actually happy with who I am. They’re just trying to get me down because they haven’t gotten there yet, so I don’t have to listen to them because if I do, then I know I’ll go back to middle school, not happy with who I am and scared of talking about it and being who I am,” Betancourt said.

Betancourt’s journey to selflove was a challenge, but for her and those around her, it was a vital step.

“Loving yourself and being positive is the most important factor in everyone’s life,” Diaz said. “We need to learn how to love others no matter what and help people to have good mental health and know that there is someone that will always be willing to help you when you are dealing with a hard situation.”

Autumn View opportunities create unlikely relationships Older, wiser, better at games

Autumn View resident MYRIAM HAWKINS watches as LHS volunteers work on a puzzle. Hawkins enjoys telling the students about her past, “I always caused trouble when I was younger and I still do. It’s the story of my life. It’s more fun doing that than sitting pretty. People come up and say ‘Oh I love that dress on her’ but they really don’t. We used to have a lot of fun behind the scenes laughing,” Hawkins said. • photo by JACK WEAVER

The five of them sit at the small faux-wood table, two senior members and three Lafayette students. The puzzle sits in front of them, and the students work to finish it as Jackie and Muriel talk about how many children they’ve had— four the fourth time they’ve discussed this already.

Muriel enjoyed talking about the kids that would hang out at her house and notably make a mess.

“They thought I was one of the kids. We would play board games, and if you had to go to the bathroom, we had a whistle and you had to whistle all the way to the bathroom and all the way back. If you didn’t you had to stay in the bathroom,” Muriel said. “It was a lot of fun, and the kids liked it. They were good kids, but crazy. I fit right in.”

Stories and interactions like these are common at Autumn View, a local senior center.

For clubs National Honor Society (NHS) and Key Club, volunteering at Autumn View, a senior living community in Ellisville, Missouri, is a popular option for students.

NHS sponsor Brian Fish finds that the opportunity to volunteer with the senior citizens is great for those who try it out. “We believe it’s a great opportunity for students to interact with people of different age groups, different backgrounds, different experiences,” Fish said. “We have a lot of students who are repeat volunteers. They really enjoy that, they really feel called to work at Autumn View.”

One junior in particular, Peyten Jubela, has enjoyed volunteering at Autumn View since her first time visiting. “I love building relationships with them, they sometimes remember what’s going on in your life and ask questions and try to stay updated. They crack jokes and give endless advice and are always so sweet,” Jubela said.

Jubela volunteered so frequently that she was offered a job from Autumn View.

“They said not a lot of high school students come, and they asked if we wouldn’t mind spending weekly hours. I was working two jobs at the time, but I’m decreasing my hours at work so I can spend more time volunteering,” Jubela said.

Although Jubela loves to spend time at Autumn View, she finds that the state of the senior citizens make interactions difficult sometimes. Memory loss and hearing issues are two factors that complicate relationships.

“The hardest part is definitely sitting there knowing that you’ve met one of them before and had a really good time with them, and then going back and they don’t remember you. It’s like I have to remember for them,” Jubela said. “I was there this Thursday and Friday and there were at least two or three on Friday that didn’t remember me from the day before.”

Despite the obstacles of communication, Jubela recommends for everyone to try volunteering at a local senior center.

“It can be hard to be there and watch sometimes, but the ones who remember you and the relationships you build are totally worth it. They really appreciate when high school students come because their families don’t come often at all, so [the volunteers] always try to make sure they get someone to come see them.” GRACE KIRTLEY • Lifestyles Editor • ALEX VANCIL • Cartoonist •