LIBERTAS last last word
LIBERTAS The Final Issue
v o l. 2 3, no . 6
“Independent Student Magazine” LIBERTAS January 1996 - April 2017 Libertas “Tas” Magazine, 21, of Davidson, North Carolina passed away Saturday morning, April 1st, 2017, following a long term rivalry for readership and funding with the Davidsonian. Foul play is suspected and investigations are currently underway. Libertas is preceded in death by its founder, Zac Lacy, and survived by its co editors-in-chief, Samantha Gowing and Alyssa Glover, as well as its faithful editors and contributors. A funeral service and celebration of life will take place on Monday, April 3rd, 2017 at 7 PM in the Libertas Office on the fourth floor of the student union. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the National Endowment for the Arts. In the early morning hours of January 1996, Libertas popped into this world, loudly and unexpectedly. Zac, Libertas’ founding father, cradled Libertas in his arms for the next year, doting on this beautiful baby that would grow to become the leading arts publication on the Davidson College campus. In its
adolescence, Libertas provoked the artistic minds of Davidson College and provided a space for artistic expression outside the classroom, later going on to develop a dry sense of humor that rarely made sense to its readers. Libertas’s elementary years were spent publishing high quality art, poetry, prose and perspectives while slowly growing its reputation and occasionally sucking up to its faculty advisor. It religiously ate its veggies and grew from an 7.5x11 page publication to an 11x15 publication with color covers, yet later, like any rebellious teenager, Libertas began to smoke some cigs, drink some alcohol, and wear all black. It made a few enemies, a lot of friends and constantly worried its editors-in-chief. Libertas lived boldly and fearlessly but always with an appreciation of art. It loved coffee, found objects, discarded books, disposable camera photos and killer collages and never let frat boy’s joking about using Tas’ for TP get it down. Art may be dead, Libertas may have been murdered, but we will always remember the verve with which libertas lived life and its vivacity on a pastel colored, keystone lite, brick façade campus. Libertas left this world with the same urgency it entered it with: a shock to us all and a sad reminder that art, prose, poetry and perspectives are worth living for.
“A Film” by Lee Burtas This new horror-documentary depicting the demise of Libertas Mag is the film debut of campus celebrity Lee Burtas. Examing the horrific murder of Davidson’s beloved arts and discourse publication, “A Film” questions the future of Libertas and reflects on how such a promising not-trash magazine could meet such a calamitous fate. Scan the QR code below to watch this non-Academy Award nominated short.
“Art is Gay”:
Thomas Waddill
Trump Explains NEA Defunding
In the Oval Office, Trump is sweating heavily. He has just settled down to watch Duck Dynasty reruns. He claws open a bag of Cheetos. During the commercials, he checks Twitter. He’s earned a full hour of television from his aides. Their arrangement is simple: For every hour that the President fulfills his duties – meeting with representatives, signing documents, making tremendous deals – he earns one half-hour of television time. Unfortunately, today did not include honoring an annual tradition meeting with Libertas staff to discuss the future of arts policy in the US. I wanted to ask him about his proposal to eliminate funds for the National Endowment for the Arts, but his secretary, who is compelled to wear a cherry-red bikini with the word “TRUMP” in gold across each breast to work every day, told me that his schedule closed up, and, I’m sorry, but he just won’t be able to meet with you. Maybe you can conduct the interview over Twitter? Okay, I said. I’ll try. I posted up in a bar nearby and reached out to @realDonaldTrump and, surprisingly, he tweeted back. I would call this an interview, but, in reality, it’s a series of responses given by the Donald over the course of more than twelve hours to my single request for an explanation of the NEA slashing. Here they are unedited:
@realDonaldTrump: @thwad – @realDonaldTrump wrote a book w/o art – we dont need art to write books – I wrote one and it was a bestseler – 10:59 p.m. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad will tell you what father told me – Art is Gay !! 11:04 p.m. Note: Given how late the time stamps on these tweets were, and given what we’ve learned from coverage on the President’s insomnia, it seems that the next series of tweets were composed after a large dose of Ambien failed to put him to sleep, instead inducing a semi-conscious state of hysteria. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad father I atold yuo I wouldnt teak any shit 1:43 a.m. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad my father told me to get a job whenver i rote a poem once in gradeschool – he– told me he will have no gay son – said don art is for gay. 1:48 a.m.
@realDonaldTrump: @thwad @realDonaldTrump: @thwad is trying to figure out my fiscal strat. Nosy 1:51 a.m. libs. Mind your business. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad 3:14 p.m. 2:13 a.m.
jobs jobs jobs jobs jobs jobs jobs jobs art of the deal
@realDonaldTrump: @thwad Art is not going to MAke America Great @realDonaldTrump: @thwad do, you understadn – libs are FAKE new’s Again. Where are the art jobs? cant make a living painting. , get out of My House 3:15 p.m. 2:16 a.m. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad FAILING NEA doesn’t do anything. Cut @realDonaldTrump: @thwad llook, my dad, I got a good job, im powerWaste & Spending. money and all – 2:19 a.m. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad America doesn not need Poem’s & Painting & Radio nobody can understadn. We need JOBS. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad loo k, everyone, its all about art eof the 3:17 p.m. Deal. Note: After this previous Tweet, I assumed the President was done, and that I I have hot wife, hot daughters had my (flimsy and insubstantial) answer. That night, however, I saw that he had 2:25 a.m. appended his initial responses with a stream of nearly incoherent epistles written later and later into the night. @realDonaldTrump: @thwad @KidRock @pitbull @dad like me @realDonaldTrump: @thwad I remember Teacher trying to Teach me please peotry in in FAILING high school. Made zero sense. Real world needs job’s, skills, deals. Not FAILING art 10:34 p.m. like me , @realDonaldTrump: @thwad Compromise: I will change NEA to NEAOTD: National Endowment For The Art Of The Deal. Deal! I am a Big Man , 10:38 p.m. 3:47 a.m.
What People REALLY Think When They Read LIBERTAS: I don’t understand why they get money just to talk about dicks. *Flips through the pages, only looks at the images*
Try-hards.
Two shots every time you see…
We can finally use the office now! -Divest Libertas... isn’t that one of the acapella groups on campus?
Oh damn I thought it was the Davidsonian.
What even is this?
Letter from the Editors A year and a half ago, we were excited to embark on the adventure of producing Libertas. We had many plans that included producing more content, expanding our readership, and moving away from the pretentious reputation Libertas has gained over the years. Safe to say, none of this was accomplished. Even now, typing this in our tiny office with no windows or air-conditioning, we wonder what the point is. We ‘re preaching to the choir here, but we know that no one reads this. We know that, at best, they’ll pick it up, skim the poems, and look at the pictures. Most people don’t even bother to kick it out of the way, trampling over it day after day while we watch the $12,000 publication yellow and crumple. What makes us so bad? Why is the thought of taking 10 minutes to read our publication so horrible that it needs to be pushed aside? Do you not respect us enough to at least toss our hours of work in the recycling bin? Writing this piece greatly saddens us. Months ago, we would have envisioned our final letter from the editors as a heartfelt parting. It would be an opportunity for us to thank you for gifting us this platform and trusting us with your voices. Instead, we are typing a half-assed letter to no one. At this point we’re honestly just trying to fill up the page because no one will look closely enough to notice that this is complete bullshit. I could even switch tenses or point of view and no one will give me shit for it. Once, I (Alyssa) was talking about a piece I wrote only to realize that no one in my apartment had read it. Nice, right? Ok this is long enough now so if you’re actually reading this, thank you and we love you. Everyone else: fuck you.
Sincerely, Alyssa & Samantha Ex-co-editors-in-chief
The End of an Era Exit 31, Will you be the reincarnation Of this dying publication? Unlike Exit 30, With all its white spaces And intellectual chases They won’t read, but still take you to the lake, And roll you up to get baked. The news will all be fiction, So make fiction the news. Help visiting parents Question their Republican views. Publish more fledgling artists, Laugh at all the Yaks of scorn, Include the requisite dick jokes, Become Libertas reborn.
- Quinn Massengill ‘19
The Final Issue
v o l. 2 3 , no . 6
LIBERTAS
LIBERTAS last last word Libertas Clue
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10. 4.
Help us find out who killed our beloved magazine. Pick a killer, weapon, and location.
Potential Killers: Davidsonian Young Americans for Freedom Phi Delts Townies William Brown
Potential Weapons: Carol Quillen RLO Campus Police MBB Erica Urban
Tazer Fake News Hot Dog 2004 ed. of Hobart Park Eno
Summit Coffee Second-hand Smoke Liberal Media The Power of Christ Regulation Size Frisbee