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Library Tales Publishing, Inc. 511 6th Avenue #56 New York, NY 10011 www.LibraryTalesPublishing.com Copyright Š 2014-2015 by James F. Hamilton No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Legal Department, Library Tales Publishing, Inc., 511 6th Avenue #56, New York, NY, 10011, 1-800-754-5016, fax 917-463-0892. Trademarks: Library Tales Publishing, Library Tales, the Library Tales Publishing logo, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of Library Tales Publishing, Inc. and/or its affiliates in the United States and other countries, and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department at 1-800-754-5016, or fax 917-463-0892. For technical support, please visit www.LibraryTalesPublishing.com Library Tales Publishing also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Every content that appears in print is available in electronic books. ISBN-13: 978-0692320099 ISBN-0692320091
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Dedicated to Tom Hamilton (1947-1969)
Brother, Coach, Mentor, Friend. Shown above (#30) in a classic photo used for the cover of Scholastic Coach magazine in 1966. Tom was a High School All-American in Northern California in 1965, receiving his recognition beside a slightly better known great, Jim Plunkett. As a running back, he excelled as a result of his hard work and drive, but he viewed his accomplishment through his teammates’ eyes and by his team’s success. While Tom left us far too early in 1969, his presence is still felt by those who loved and respected him.
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“Hey, I don’t have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life and I love my wife…and I wish YOU, MY kind of success.” – Dickey Fox, Jerry McGuire’s mentor in the movie JERRY McGUIRE1
1. JERRY McGUIRE ©1996 Gracie Films and TriStar Pictures.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
“Coach” Jim Hamilton is a business consultant with over 30 years of experience in the hi-tech industry. His football background spans from his youth beginning as a fan of his brothers’ high school stardom and attending his Stanford University games; his association with many members of the UCLA teams in the 1970’s while attending college; and his faithful following of the San Francisco 49ers. Author of IT’S ALL ABOUT HER: A Man-toMan’s Guide to Marital Bliss and IN PURSUIT OF LOVE, Jim is recognized for his insightful, entertaining, and humorous writing style. Through his writing, national interviews, and blogging, he is on a mission to help couples improve their relationships by enhancing the way they communicate, connect, and care for one another. “Good is not good enough,” he says. “We should all strive toward a happier and more fulfilling life through having a phenomenal marriage.” A graduate of UCLA, Jim was brought up in Palo Alto, CA, and currently resides in Pleasanton, CA with his extraordinary wife, Dora.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword I. Coach’s Press Conference II. Pre-Game Show
7 9 12
III. Pre-Season • Leadership • No Wimp Zone • Teamwork • Balance • Focus • Fans • Conditioning
14 15 17 18 20 23 25 27
IV. The Captain • Listen Up • On-field Conduct • Support
30 31 34 37
V. • • • • • • • •
40 41 43 46 49 51 54 56 59
Your Peronal Playbook Morale Team Appreciation Post-Game Mid-Season Conditioning Morale II Outside the Lines The Film Room Post-Season
VI. Rule Book • Summary of Penalties
62 63
VII. The Red Zone • Connection • Signals I • Signals II • Two-Minute Drill
65 66 68 70 72
VIII. Pep Talk IX. Coaches’ Corner
75 77
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FOREWORD BY RANDY CROSS
As a 37 year veteran of The Game, I read Jim’s book with more than a tad bit of cynicism. Being a believer that “ya can’t teach an ol’ dog new tricks”, I assumed after all these years I had just about figured things out... WRONG again! As I read through chapter after chapter, I found out I had done quite a few things right, but I was amazed at the number of things that had gotten by me. Men aren’t dumb, but we sure as heck can be clueless on occasion! I was lucky enough to be a part of championship teams on every level of football. I played and learned from the jump that hard work, attention to detail and TEAMWORK were common themes on all those championship units. I continue to be amazed by the power and influence a person—a Head Coach, General 7
Manager, or Owner—can have on a professional sports team and how they can focus another 100+ individuals toward a singular goal or title. This book will make you think, make you laugh and make you assess how you deal with your Better Half going forward. Unlike the game of football, this Game should have no end, overtime or loser, but rather a constant flow of challenges, victories and quiet moments of satisfaction knowing you and your Best Friend on the Planet have put in the work at the Best Game in the World. Randy Cross was an All-American at UCLA and was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2011. His 13 year NFL career with the San Francisco 49ers included 3 Super Bowl Championships and 6 times being voted as an All-Pro. He is currently a broadcaster for CBS Sports and is co-host of “The Marc and Randy Show “ on WZGC 92-9 The Game, a CBS radio station in Atlanta, Georgia. Most important, Randy has three children, daughters Kelly and Crystal, and son Brendan, and has been married to his best friend and wife, Patrice, for over 30 years.
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I. COACH’S PRESS CONFERENCE Football. National Football League (NFL). It is the most popular professional sport in North America. Of the four major professional sports (the others being the NBA, MLB, and the NHL) the NFL boasts the largest annual revenue at $9 billion.1 Number two is MLB at $8 billion, which seems pretty close until you consider that a MLB season has 10 times the number of games than that of an NFL season. From August through February, millions of fans attend or watch the NFL and for the balance of the year, they are talking about it. Since NFL fans are serious stat junkies, try these on: 109 million people watched the 2013 Super Bowl; 20-30 million people watch the weekly games throughout the season; and 65% of those are men, or boys2. Insurance, fast food, and beverage companies among others spend $3 billion per year trying to reach these viewers and spend over $1 billion in sponsorship rights3. 1 Article “If the NFL Were a Real Business” http://goo.gl/zKES1N 2 Article “Who watches NFL, by the #s, Demos to die for compared to other pro sports By Kevin Canfield http://goo.gl/yT3oKt 3 Article January 27, 2014 “Pro Sports | NFL Sponsorship Revenue Totals $1.07 Billion In 2013 Season, © 2014 IEG, LLC. All rights reserved.
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Conclusion: Lots of cash, lots of fans, lots of men watching games creating lots of revenue for the NFL. But it doesn’t stop there. Bridging the periods of watching the contests is the constant media coverage, fantasy leagues, merchandise purchasing, and time, men’s time, engaged in all things NFL. How can the male NFL fan watch, spend, think, and talk America’s Game and still keep his eye on what is an even more important game in his life—his marriage? While some may not care about the above allure of football, consider that there is a significant portion of the population that does—their wives and partners. The male fascination with the NFL presents some interesting challenges and terrific opportunities in the National Marriage League — the NML, the league you became a member of by simply saying, “I do.” Those challenges and opportunities are the focus of THE HAPPY COUPLE PLAYBOOK: Football Strategies for Winning the Marriage Game. Before we take the field, I want to address
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the question brewing in many of your minds: does this guy really think that the interest in football is only a male game? The answer is: absolutely not! Nor do I think that men and their interest in sports are the source of all challenges in relationships. What I am sharing are a few ideas and thoughts based on my experience and the joy I find in my marriage. I do this with the belief that there are a number of my buddies out there who can benefit from the suggestions, that the suggestions will be more meaningful and entertaining in the context of the game we love, and that there is no game more important than the one they entered the day of their wedding. Based on the concepts shared in IT’S ALL ABOUT HER: A Man-to-Man’s Guide to Marital Bliss and my other writings, THE HAPPY COUPLE PLAYBOOK is a football fan’s guide on how to keep your wife happy and be victorious in the game that really counts: your marriage or partnership. Similar to a well-constructed play, which will be successful in any situation, THE HAPPY COUPLE PLAYBOOK is written for men, but will also resonate with the other 35% of the NFL fan base, many times referred to as “your better half”. Organized in a way every fan can appreciate, written in a style of recognizable terms to get your attention, and delivered with a brevity that will hold it, THE HAPPY COUPLE PLAYBOOK will help you men score consistently and change the game from the two of you competing, to ensuring you are on the same team... the winning team. 11
II. PRE-GAME SHOW “Winning is not everything – but making the effort to win is.” —Vince Lombardi As with any team, victory or defeat is not the result of one individual’s effort. Similarly, when couples hit a rough spot, more often than not, it is the two of them and their teamwork that is at fault. I am not saying you are to blame for anything or that you are the problem. What I am up in the coaches’ box shouting through the microphone of my headset is that you can be part of a very happy solution. When I was in school, I was fortunate to have friends with very diverse interests and backgrounds. There was also a wide range of motivations for extending their educations beyond high school. One of these people, my friend Bubba, was attending the university on a football scholarship. While Bubba kept up with his academics, his primary focus was making it to the NFL.
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We took Philosophy 1 together and I will always remember his frustration with the course and why the professor, and the philosophers covered in the course, couldn’t just say what they wanted to say more simply. Bubba’s issue was not one of intellectual limitation, it was one of patience. I miss Bubba. I lost touch with him years ago. But in honor of him, I am going to give him a voice for the Bubbas out there who like it quick and to the point. For the rest of us who like details (or need them) I’ll provide a few more notes. Will this give you all of the answers to a happy marriage? Absolutely not. A few suggestions that can enhance the fun, respect, excitement, and love in your marriage or relationship? Definitely! So here we go with THE HAPPY COUPLE PLAYBOOK: Football Strategies for Winning the Marriage Game... a few play calls that will lead you to have a happier wife and a happier life. Or as Bubba would say, “Read it! Love it! Live it!”
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