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THE BEACH March 14, 2015 - Eden Medical Center ICU Unit, Castro Valley, CA “Mr. Hamilton?” the ICU doctor asked, as he walked into my room. “Uh, yes?” I responded, a little startled. I knew something had happened but because of what just occurred, I wasn’t very self-aware. I was there, knew why I was there, but wasn’t very up on, or had difficulty remembering, the details. I was in a fog. It was a condition which I would grow to be more aware and hateful of over time…a condition that would become both my obstacle and motivation for the many months and years to come. “Hello, I’m the doctor in charge of the ICU. How are you feeling?” “OK,” I said cautiously and somewhat inaccurately. I had no idea how I was doing and a rather sketchy sense of what I was doing. “Alright, well I just wanted to know if you got the message,” the doctor said. “Message?” “Yes…did you get the message?” he repeated. “I’m sorry. I’m not understanding you,” I said, which was probably the most accurate statement I could make given my condition. “OK…I just want to know if you got the message,” he repeated. “Really…I don’t get it!” I said, exacerbated. Even in this cloudy condition, there was still enough of me near the surface that I could express my growing frustration with the confusing dialogue. And some of the frustration was that I had no clue as to the source of the confusion.
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