Example Given
No. 38 Sept 2014
Off to Work They Go Empowering Young Adults for Transition
CLASS OF 2014 Three 20-somethings, three stories, three experiences of working life What do you want to do? or Who do you want to be? A life radically changed by friendship
Turbulence in Transition Thousands of Christians drift away from Christ once they graduate. Sarah-Jane Marshall, 26, explores why. We ’r e k n o w n a s ‘ t h e m i s s i n g arrives at university and then when a generation’. As far as people on student graduates. During my two and pews/chairs/beanbags are concerned, a half years as Young Adults Project those of us in our 20s make up only 7% Leader in LICC’s Work Forum, I’ve of the total churchgoing population, been particularly focussed on the second though we account drop-off point and for 13% of the asked myself ‘Why? national population, What is it about the ‘SOME ARE DRAMATIC proportionately we are STORIES OF REBELLION, transition into adult missing. For a church work i ng l i fe t hat BUT FOR MANY t h at h a s i nv e s te d makes holding onto heavily in children’s faith difficult?’ IT’S A COLLECTION and youth work this I’ve observed three OF DIFFICULTIES, is clearly not good common themes. DISAPPOINTMENTS news. It’s worrying Each can cause for a church seeking AND DOUBTS THAT LED diff icu lties, but emerging leaders when the three TO A MORE GRADUAL and it’s sobering if collide they create DEPARTURE’ we hope to reach the the conditions for a unchurched with the perfect storm. good news of Jesus. Lost Sense of Fellowship But behind the statistics are real people. For many, the experience of university Every individual leaving the church is characterised by joyful Christian in their twenties has their own story fellowship. to tell. Some are dramatic stories of I’d personally found more Christian rebellion but for many more the story peers than ever before and, thanks is greyer – not a cut and run moment, to social media, I’d found two in my rather a collection of diff iculties, college before I’d even arrived. The disappointments and doubts that led churches in university towns and cities to a more gradual departure. were rich and vibrant, ready to welcome For those going on to higher education, new students with open arms – lifts from it’s thought that there are two significant campus, free student lunches – they drop-off points: when a young adult wanted us to join their communities.
About the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity The vast majority of Christians (around 98%) spend the vast majority of their waking time (around 95%) in non-church related activities. So just imagine what the impact might be on our neighbourhoods, on our schools and clubs and workplaces, on our whole nation if all of us were really able to help one another to make a difference for Christ right where we are, out on our daily frontlines? That’s LICC’s focus: empowering Christians to make a difference in God’s world, and envisioning and equipping church leaders to help them do it.
And friendships on campus went deep. Hours spent together laughing, joking, hungering for God, sharing struggles in accountability groups and worshipping until the small hours. Then comes graduation and one in three graduates relocates to London for work. So many people, so many churches… but it’s easy to get lost in a crowd. I know it’s important to get stuck into a church, but finding a real sense of belonging is slow. The people seem nice, but we don’t see each other much
Over half of graduates (56%) think they can reasonably expect to be in a management role within 3 years of starting work.
www.licc.org.uk mail@licc.org.uk Like us at facebook.com/LICCLtd Follow us on Twitter @LICCLtd
St Peter’s, Vere Street, London, W1G 0DQ. Tel: + 44 (0)20 7399 9555
All articles available as downloads. You are welcome to reprint articles, please include the credit: ‘©LICC. Reproduced with permission. www.licc.org.uk’ Editor: Jay Butcher, jay.butcher@licc.org.uk · Designer: Brett Jordan, X1 · Print & Distribution: www.x1.ltd.uk
2
Almost 60% of regular churchgoers in their 20s are located in Greater London
midweek and I’m away visiting uni friends at least one Sunday a month. A kind couple invite me for lunch, but living with flatmates I found online, I know I’ll struggle to return the hospitality anytime soon.
As my faith has matured there’s more space for mystery – the black and white simplicity of the evangelistic diagrams I was taught to draw just don’t seem to cut it anymore. Plus, I don’t want to be unprofessional or to impose my agenda. At work there’s little time for small talk as we’ve all got so much to do, and when I tactfully drop into conversation that I went to church on Sunday, I don’t get a tirade of inquisitive questions, but a shrug of the shoulders and the day continues. Some of us give up altogether, resigning mission to something we do with church at the weekend – isn’t that what my missional community is for.
In the current climate of house prices and job searching, one in three guys and one in five girls move home with their parents for a spell – but home is not the same without my peers around. Without the communal aspects of faith, I soon feel dry and am left thinking, “Was my individual faith real or was I living off a shared experience?” Lost Sense of Mission As students we were told over and over that this was the season for mission. We debated in kitchens, ministered to the drunken with bottles of water and flip-flops, and hosted ‘Grill a Christian’ nights for friends. As a Christian Union we were organised – with mission weeks and explore courses and we each had job titles to fit our role. Amid all our busy organising, still we chased authenticity, longing to share our lives openly and see people drawn to the Saviour. We saw friends lose their faith, but others came to Jesus for the first time. The status quo was not static, we saw God on the move. Then comes graduation. Our ‘mission team’ is dispersed around the country and as I start work in a new office, I suddenly feel acutely alone. Deep down I know that the need to share my faith is as great as ever, but it all feels a lot less attainable.
We don’t want just any old job that will pay the bills, we want interesting work – work that changes the world. Some get a place on a competitive grad scheme, it’s exciting at first, but the work soon feels dull and repetitive. This isn’t what they promised. Almost half of graduates end up working in non-graduate roles, a further 8% will be unemployed, and so begin to question whether the student loan was worth it? It seems we t wenties are hungr y to climb the management tree, yet quick to move on to pastures new – impatient maybe? In coming to faith we responded to a call to live life as an adventure with God, but adult working life feels, well, boring in comparison. Surely there’s more than this? And there is. This is the context LICC has been speaking into for the past two and a half years and the cohort that this issue of EG addresses. For church leaders, I hope it brings an awareness of the needs of the young adults coming through your doors and inspiration for how you could serve them. For those of you who know young adults facing a time of transition, I pray it equips you to connect with them and encourage them: that despite the bumpy ride, adult working life with Jesus can be just as fruitful.
Lost Sense of Direction For many of us, wrestling with questions of calling is a new dilemma. When we were in the education system it was all so easy – GCSE’s, A-levels, maybe University – we just progressed to the next stage. Now I feel paralysed by the endless possibilities before me. ‘What should I do with my life?’ It’s the question on every graduate’s lips. We long to be used by God and live up to the expectation to be the ‘history maker’ generation we once sang about.
Sarah-Jane Marshall has been LICC’s Young Adult Project Leader since April 2012 and is the editor of The Graduate Alphabet – an A-Z for Life after University. She is now heading to a new frontline, training to teach junior aged children in South London. She’s done a stunning job speaking to students and graduates and 20s at conferences round the country, helping to train student leaders, developing new resources, writing in a variety of publications and championing the whole-life disciplemaking cause joyously and fruitfully. 3
1
R
G
a
N
R
Working it Out Three 20-somethings, three stories, three experiences of working life… Kingdom Business Hannah is 27 and works for a global professional services network. The competition to get onto the graduate scheme had been extraordinarily high, but it didn’t stop there. Their performance would be constantly
mon itored in, what a col leag ue described as, “a firm of over-achievers, all over-achieving”. After three years Hannah was exhausted. She was really enjoying the work, but the demanding projects left no time for a social life. Hannah’s passion for the world of business was growing, but this worried her – deep down there was a nagging feeling that business was somehow… ungodly? So she decided to hand in her notice and go abroad with a mission agency so that she could work out what God wanted her to do with her life. That was until she had a conversation with an older Christian who said she’d be “mad not to continue in business” and suggested instead that she took a year out to explore what God has to say about work, away from the pressures of her job. Hannah took the plunge and applied for a twelve-month sabbatical. 4
Remarkably, it was granted. During the year she did many things including study, charity work and travel. But most importantly she reflected: “I explored what the Bible says about work, talked to lots of wise people and thought about my own experiences. As I did this, I saw how limited my view of ‘godly work ’ had been. I also realised I’d been ensnared by the ‘patterns of the world ’ at work by let ting perfectionism and people pleasing take-over. I had started basing my wor t h on wh at ‘value’ I’d added to the project that day, rather than who I was in God. This had impacted my relationship with God, and others. Stepping out of the situation gave me a fresh perspective - I started seeing more fully the opportunities to serve God
‘I’D BEEN ENSNARED BY THE ‘PATTERNS OF THE WORLD’… LETTING PERFECTIONISM AND PEOPLE-PLEASING TAKE OVER’ through work, and began imagining what good business could look like in God’s kingdom.” Now back at work, Hannah has a clearer view of her calling, and a deeper understanding of business, herself and
God. You may well not be able to take a whole year off work, but do try to reflect on your job and perhaps dare to address those nagging questions. For starters, check out the recommended resources on the LICC website (see page 11). It’s better to do it now, at the start of your career than at the end!
The Power of Pink (and sweets) Ben is 27 and works for a large construction company. As a project manager, he’s often sent on secondment to other companies’ offices for weeks at a time. Everyone has a lot of work to do and there’s the pressure of deadlines to meet, so there’s not much of a culture of casual conversation. In addition, as a relatively short-term visitor to these sites, it’s tempting for Ben to keep himself to himself, and not to interact with the other people in the offices unless he has to. Over the past year Ben’s been a part of an LICC Transforming Work group. It’s a programme to help Christians see work differently – through God’s eyes. In one session the group talked about small changes they could each make that might influence the culture – the way things were done – at work for the better. This got Ben thinking. He’d thought about his own conduct at work, but never really tried to affect corporate behaviour. Besides, as someone on secondment what could he do? Ben sat at his desk and questions started to mull in his head, ‘How can I get people talking? How can I begin to integrate myself into the team? How can I bring some fun into the office in an environment of stress?’
Then an idea dawned on him. Pink Shirt Thursdays.
Pray, Eat, Talk… Rejoice.
Every Thursday Ben would put on one of his (many) pink shirts and then reward anyone else in the open-plan office wearing a pink shirt with some sweets. Others would ask whether they could have some sweets too and Ben would reply, “You can have some next Thursday… if you wear a pink shirt.”
Jeremy is 26 and after graduating took a job at a small management consultancy. As he got to know the team, Jeremy found there was another Christian in the off ice, someone who was 30 years his senior.
‘BEN NOW HAS AN EASY WAY TO MAKE CONVERSATION WITH A GROWING NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE.’ News got around – free sweets – and gradually more and more pink shirts appeared each Thursday. Ben now has an easy way to make conversation with a growing number of people in the office, an easy way to develop relationships, and, every Thursday, a little laughter and lightness lifts the mood. It’s a first step – it’s fun, it’s generous, it’s relational – but it’s been an important step that has shown Ben that it is possible to make a positive difference to a culture, even when you’re not a permanent member of an off ice, a difference that he hopes not only brings some joy now but will open up opportunities for deeper conversations in the future.
They decided to sta r t to pray together: for each other in their work and walk, for God’s kingdom to come in their workplaces, and for their colleagues to come to faith in Jesus. The day after their first prayer meeting, Ken, a colleague who Jeremy didn’t really know, began to ask questions about the home group Jeremy had mentioned previously. Jeremy shared his reasons for attending and a bit of his testimony, and then the conversation moved on and the work ing day continued. A couple of weeks later, Jeremy and Ken were both working late. They took a break to eat and Jeremy started to ask Ken questions about his life and spiritual beliefs. They got onto the identity of Jesus and Ken explained that he thought that Jesus was either a prophet or a good man, but not God. Jeremy shared C.S. Lewis’ thoughts that, “Someone c la iming to be God must be either mad, bad, or indeed God.” And they got back to work, finished and went home. Later in the mont h, Jeremy
happened to be on a work trip with Ken. On the flight back, Jeremy suggested that they explore who Jesus claimed to be in the Gospel accounts. Ken took the Bible home and really started to devour it.
Jeremy and Ken both ended up leaving the firm, but continued to meet up socially to read the Bible together. At one point, they looked at the story of the Prodigal Son. This was a significant point for Ken, who could see that he was like the prodigal son, but was unwilling to return to the father.
‘THEY DECIDED TO START TO PRAY: FOR EACH OTHER, FOR GOD’S KINGDOM TO COME, AND FOR COLLEAGUES TO COME TO FAITH’ Eventually, however, Ken made the decision to put God first in his life. Jeremy and he were able to go to church together for a little while in London. He has since returned to his native country but continues to walk with Jesus, working out what it looks like to follow him and be part of his family. As Jeremy says, “It is incredible to see God at work in my colleagues’ lives and to play a part in that… what a privilege!” Sarah-Jane Marshall 5
Great Expectations, Manic Mondays Antony Billington takes a biblical look at the place of work in God’s purposes For many young adults, entering the workplace can be a time of disillusionment. Starting a full-time job was meant to be exciting – the great opportunity to shine whilst contributing something meaningful to society. But then comes that unmotivated Monday morning feeling… why aren’t I skipping out of bed, smiling benevolently at my fellow-commuters, breezing into work, my heart full of exuberant expectation at all the day ahead will bring? Well, of course, work can be a drag. It’s not all interesting, it doesn’t always go smoothly – there’s jammed photo c opie r s , r u d e c u s tome r s , bu rdensome mic roma nagement, unrealistic deadlines, the hard graft of learning how to do things that we’ve never done before and perhaps the disquieting sense that our work may not really be making much of a positive contribution to a better world. But surely, if God created work, we should expect it to be fulfilling, shouldn’t we? Work in Biblical Perspective Certainly, the Bible is clear that the God who created work found a great deal of satisfaction and delight in his own labour (Genesis 1). And he not only created us in his image to work but designed work to be fulfilling not frustrating, purposeful not painful. Work, however, like everything in creation was impacted by the consequences of human rebellion against God. Importantly, work itself is not cursed, but it does not escape the distorting effects of sin, so that it has become “painful toil” (Genesis 3:17). Yes, we’re able to enjoy the fruit of our labours, but 6
only by the “sweat of [our] brow” and by tackling “thorns and thistles” along the way (Genesis 3:18-19). So we need to put work in perspective. On the one hand, we need to avoid the temptation to idolatry where our job becomes the primary object of our passions and source of identity. On the other, we need to avoid the snare of unbelief, where, wittingly or unwittingly, we are unable to see any of God’s good purposes in work. Both are problematic. In seeking self-fulfilment through work, we risk forgetting that our purpose and identity is found first in Jesus, who then helps us make sense of our jobs. At the other extreme, we risk not seeing that work has value in and of itself. E cc le sia ste s g ive s voice to t he frustrations we might feel. Work can indeed appear to be “meaningless” (2:11, 17-23) but, even so, toil is still seen as a “gift of God” (3:12-13), which brings satisfaction (5:18-19) and joy (3:22, 8:15). The key, in 2:24-26, seems to be not seeking delight in what one gains from work, but seeing good in the work itself, as from “the hand of God”. Work & God’s Purposes So, there is hope. Work is not just a way to pass time and make money, but a service we render to Jesus himself – “it is the Lord Christ you are serving”. (Colossians 3:23). Working for Christ not only gives us a new master, but a new freedom to worship through our work, a new desire to serve others, a new confidence to trust God in our jobs, and a new motivation to work well – even during times of frustration and seeming fruitlessness. Joseph, Ruth, Daniel, Esther all show us that God can work through his people, and us, in difficult
and morally ambiguous situations, often in spite of our flaws. Work, then, is a crucible for discipleship, a place to grow as a follower of Jesus, even in the mundane tasks: writing an email, placing an order, tightening a bolt. In addition, we serve others through the things we make and the services we provide, in ways that contribute to their wellbeing. More than this, God has set in motion a programme of redemption, centered in Christ, which involves renewing all things, bringing order out of chaos, resolving conf lict, restoring relationships – with himself, with each other, and with creation. Seen in this light, our work provides an opportunity to be living signposts to the plans God has for the whole world. How might we express his redemptive heart in our workplaces – through service, creativity, witness, truth-telling, team-building, peace-making, and so on? Of course, seeing our job as an arena to serve Christ and play our part in his big mission won’t necessarily soothe all our frustrations, but it will put them into their proper perspective as we take our place as workers in the stewardship and renewal of God’s world. Antony Billington is Head of Theology at LICC, the owner of books as numerous as the sand on the seashore and the author of, amongst others, Whole Life Whole Bible. He is currently reading Jeremy R Treat’s The Crucified King: Atonement and Kingdom in Biblical and Systematic Theology and Paul Verhaeghe’s What About Me? The Struggle for Identity in a Market-Based Society.
Talking to God about your Future What’s a good question for a great conversation with God about your future? Tracy Cotterell, who has three children between 18 and 20, suggests a ‘who’ question offers a rewarding way forward. Transitions provoke questions. For many graduating students there’s a default question buzzing through conversations like a gnat, asked with increasing frequency as graduation day looms and even passes by. ‘What do you want to do?’ Not a bad question, of course. And one that will need to be answered. But there’s a question, often overlooked, that can more powerfully shape our direction of travel over the long-term: ‘Who do I want to be?’ It’s a question that engages us with issues of our identity, character and calling – the foundations on which we build the rest of our lives. And our answers to that question signal our intent to God:
“I want to be a man or woman who is …” “I want to be a man or woman who values …”
to be so that, whatever you do, you are liberated to work at that with all your heart, “as working for the Lord”. (Colossians 3:23). Tracy Cotterell is LICC’s Managing Director and speaks and writes on whole-life discipleship and disciplemaking, most recently in Leading a Whole-life Disciple-making Church (Grove). Right now she is reading
James K A Smith’s Discipleship in the Present Tense: Reflections on Faith and Culture and Edwaerd Glaeser’s Triumph of the City: How Our Greatest Invention Makes Us Richer, Smarter, Greener, Healthier and Happier. Not in transition, but know someone who is? Why not pass this on. You might be the very person they’d love to talk to. Wondering what to talk to God about next? Try ‘Who am I to God?’ [Psalm 139] and ‘Who am I in God’s world?’ [1 Peter 1].
Exploring the Question – with God Try taking a chunk of the Bible – Matthew 5, Galatians 5, for example, with their great emphasis on character. Sit with it and God. Keep reading it. Perhaps dig into a commentary, or search on Google to listen to others preaching on it. Or memorise a portion of it.
“I want to be a person who displays …
Ask God to keep you sensitive to the stirrings of His Spirit.
“I want to be someone who does/does not …’
Keep chewing on it, turning it over in your mind as you think about the question:
Indeed, the ‘who’ question unlocks great insight about what really matters to us and enables us to make decisions about work and life that are congruent with who we want to be. However, its true potency emerges when we wrap that question into a conversation with God. What is God saying about who he wants me to be? And if that’s a conversation you’d like to have, here are some suggestions that might help. And may the God of all wisdom help you discover who you really want
Who really do I want to be? What might block those desires? What might protect and develop them? The extroverts amongst us might want to do this with another person – to process your insights verbally. Introverts will be more likely to reflect alone before they talk it through with someone else. Find a way to capture your insights. And keep them visible in whatever way works for you. Some people journal, some blog, some doodle, some put sticky notes in strange places. Keep the insights in your prayers. Keep revisiting the question, perhaps through other Bible passages.
7
Tinker, Tailor, Mentor, Friend? As a young doctor, Professor John Wyatt’s life was radically changed by the encouraging friendship of an older Christian. A model we might copy perhaps? Jay Butcher finds out more. John Wyatt, Emeritus Professor of Ethics and Perinatology at University Col lege London, has long been passionate about developing intergenerational relationships that can stand the test of time and be a real blessing to both people. Over the years, lots of different words have been used to describe such relationships – ‘shepherding’, ‘disciple-making’, and more commonly today, ‘mentoring’. “ Mentoring is neither the right word nor concept, really it’s biblical discipling, but even discipling has false connotations in churches today. The best way that I’ve found to describe these relationships is simply as deep, spiritual friendships.” In John’s eyes mentoring is often seen as a business relationship, transactional in its nature. So, for example, a mentor is usually allocated a single mentee for a period of time with an expectation that there
8
is something that the mentee, who is “There are biblical models for these usually younger (often significantly), kinds of relationships as well,” reflects can learn from the mentor. There John, “you see it in the relationships is instantly a hierarchy created in modelled bet ween Jesus and the this relationship – the mentee learns disciples, and Paul and Timothy. They from the mentor. Often too there loved one another, there was personal are boundaries created within the chemistry between them, there were relationship – areas of conversation that no boundaries of conversation, they were deeply intentional, are appropriate and not ser vant-hearted and appropriate. The time‘MENTORING IS they were never bound nature of the NEITHER THE RIGHT exclusive relationships.” rel at ionsh ip mea ns that in six months’ or WORD NOR CONCEPT, John was a junior meda year’s time if it’s ‘not REALLY IT’S BIBLICAL student in his mid-20s work ing’ for eit her when John Stott first DISCIPLING.’ party the relationship invited him to his tiny will end – perhaps due bachelor flat for a cup to either a lack of personal chemistry of coffee and a digestive biscuit. What or of discernment about whether this started in Weymouth Mews in London was the right pairing in the first place. developed into a 40 year friendship By contrast, the spiritual friendships through highs, lows, ups and downs. that John envisages, and indeed has John Stott shared personally, he made himself experienced, are two-way himself vulnerable and made it clear relationships of humble learning. to John that there were no topics off They are characterised by honest limits... he simply wanted to be friends. and v ulnerable “It was a friendship that started at the disc losures of the peak of his ministry, when I was just a heart, both weeping student,” recalls John, “and grew and and laughing changed throughout my career to the together at the point where, at the end of his life, I was failings, hurts and able to pray for him when he could no joys of life. These longer pray for himself. It was in many are journeys for the ways like a father-son relationship long-haul with no and it was one of the most formative boundaries of time. relationships of my life.” There will, of course, be times when the In a world that is obsessed with relationship is close, outcomes, activism and milestones, just as at other times it it might seem strange that ‘simply will be more distant, wanting to be friends’ could be the most but the relationship effective way of encouraging the next remains... as other generation. What do you really have friendships do. to show for going out and chatting over
coffee for an hour? What goes onto the timesheet or the CV? Isn’t it a complete waste of time?
“A n y o n e w h o i s prepared to be open, to share their lives and invest seriously in these friendships, out of love and service, can do this and make a real difference. There are many people who have perhaps stopped or reduced their involvement in their main careers, but have decades of healthy life ahead of them. What are those decades for if not investing in the next generation?” That said, when John Stott invited John Wyatt for a cup of coffee, he was the Rector of All Souls, one of the largest churches in London, and already had an international speaking ministry. He was hardly a man in the twilight of his working years or someone with apparently a lot of spare time on his hands. The issue is not how much time we don’t have, but how we make the most of the time we have.
“It is entirely an exercise in faith, hope and love,” says John, “John Stott spent hours and hours and hours in close relationship with people all around the world. There were literally scores of people around the world with whom he developed deep, intimate friendships. He was incredibly faithful in writing letters and chasing up if he hadn’t heard from you. He was intentional about ‘HELPING OTHERS how he spent his spareGROW IS, AFTER time, always tak ing ALL, A BIBLICAL someone bird-watching IMPERATIVE FOR with him, cultivating a friendship, sharing CHRISTIANS OF wisdom and growing ALL AGES AND together.”
Helping others grow is, after a ll, a bibl ic a l i mp er at iv e for Christians of all ages and experience – whatever words we use to describe it. Indeed, the church is meant to be a place of rich EXPERIENCE.’ relationships across age Of course John Stott barriers, and though is perhaps rather an intimidating role model to try to many churches now find themselves emulate. How could we even begin with services and activities segmented to imagine that we might be of help? by life stage, encouraging those younger Primarily because what made the and older than ourselves is part of what friendships significant was not John it means to be the body of Christ. Stott’s vast biblical knowledge or Similarly, we do need to be wary of formidable theological acuity, but so professionalizing relationships and his open-hearted, humble kindness. disciple-making, so complicating Indeed, John Wyatt believes that this is the role with inessential goals and a model of relationship that the church objectives that we disqualify ourselves needs to invest in today. from helping others along his way. Has
Christ taught us nothing that he wants us to pass on to another? The Apostle Paul’s heart is clear: “He is the one we procla im, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.” (Colossians 1:28-29) Professor John Wyatt is an international expert in his field and has also written and spoken nationally and internationally on medical ethics from a biblical perspective. His writing includes the brilliant Matters of Life and Death (2nd edition, IVP) and you can listen to his address on Neuroscience, Human Identity and the Christian Faith at www.licc.org.uk/eventcatchup. Jay Butcher is Communications Manager at LICC and before that worked for Tearfund. He has also benefitted from the deep friendship of Andrew Wheeler, Mission Pastor at St Saviour’s Church, Guildford.
Inspired? ✫ Do it for the right motive – these relationships must be genuinely borne out of love and service.
✫ Pray and discern – who might the Lord inspire you to befriend?
✫ Start small: invite them for a coffee.
✫ Be there primarily to listen – no monologues, ask lots of questions: What’s going on? How can I pray about…? How can I help?
✫ Be at the service of the other person.
✫ Share an activity together perhaps?
✫ Be prepared to share your own struggles – be vulnerable and take the initiative.
9
Daughters of the Lost Revolution Mark Greene reflects on Lily Allen’s new album, women in transition and global female oppression. Lily Allen, now 29, and described, these are not new points – and all the amongst other things, as a ‘ foul- more depressing for that. Yes, there mouthed pop pixie’ is not exactly the are gains to celebrate – economically, role model I’d choose for my daughter Britain is a far, far better place to be but over the years she has had a knack female in 2014 than it was in 1964 but of getting to the heart of a range of still, scandalously, a woman is paid £82 issues facing young women. In 2010 for the work a man will be paid £100 she won the Ivor Novello Award for for. If Christians want to do something the Best Song Musically and Lyrically. for justice and equality we could do T he s on g w a s T he worse than have a long, Fear and it brilliantly hard look in our own ‘MALE AND FEMALE captured the dynamics workplaces. As Allen CREATED IN THE of contemporar y puts it: IMAGE OF GOD WE consumerism, “ Inequalit y promises pinpointing the potent ARE, MALE AND that it’s here to stay manipulation of FEMALE EQUAL IN Always trust the injustice insecurity and fear that ‘ cau se it ’s not going CHRIST WE ARE…’ is at the rotten heart of away.” it all. Four years and two babies later, Allen has come out But beyond the statutory gains, the huge of retirement with a less than stellar leaps forward in educational attainment, album that explores the anxiety of and, relatively speaking, in managerial returning to work, competition, glass advancement, there seem to me to be ceilings, loneliness, love, marriage, sex, two trends that bode ill for women and our society. The first is the continuing social media and magazine culture... levels of casual disrespect for women. In amongst all that, the excellent Sexual harassment in employment may Hard out Here angrily and poignantly be rarer but the level of misogynistic captures how far the feminist revolution vitriol on the web and the twittersphere has not brought us. Globally, of course, is stomach-turning whilst paleolithic the situation is ghastly: selective social habits like catcalling on the street abortion, female infanticide, female remain endemic. As one seventeen year genital mutilation, honour killing, sex old girl told me, “It doesn’t matter what trafficking, forced marriage, rape as an you’re wearing or how good-looking you instrument of war… are, you’re female. It’s happened to all A llen, w riting in a UK context, my friends.” Of course, if you sexualise highlights the double standards in girls from the age of 5, claim that sex, private sexuality and public work – he’s not sacrifice is the highest form of love, a player, she’s a slut; he’s authoritative, make hard-core pornography so easily she’s a bitch. And once again she accessible and celebrate the purveyors of bewails the pervasive reduction of schlock-shock bad taste humour, well, it women to sexual objects. Obviously, may not be surprising. 10
But the more worrying trend is the triumph of laddette culture. What certainly began as a fight for freedom has turned into a victory for license. Indeed, as Natasha Walter (cf her excellent book Living Dolls), among others, has bewailed, the goal of feminism was surely not to enable women to behave as badly as men and feel good about it. Alas, feminism has, like so many other causes, been hi-jacked by consumerism. Allen’s response in Hard out Here is to be angry, to be sad, to take the status quo as read and to get on and make money out of it: “ The re’s a gla ss ceiling to break , u h -h u h , th e re’s m o n e y to m a k e , And now it’s time to speed it up ‘cause I can’t move at this pace.” Her ironic, defiant repetition of the word ‘bitch’ at the end of the song seeks to both highlight male disdain and disempower it – sticks and stones may break my bones but this particular word isn’t going to hurt me anymore. It’s something. Still, for Christians, there is a big issue out there: male and female created in the image of God we are, male and female equal in Christ we are… and nationally and globally it is surely time to focus on demonstrating that the Gospel really is go o d ne w s for t he fema le h a l f of t he human race. Mark Greene is LICC’s Executive Director. Currently, he is reading Solitaire by Alice Oseman.
The Graduate Alphabet: An A-Z of Life after University THE GRADUATE ALPHABET travels quickly from A to Z painting a wideranging picture of the realities of life after university. Its light hearted and practical approach celebrates the many opportunities of this new stage of life and offers practical wisdom to prepare graduates for its particular challenges. It covers everything from Adulthood to Jobs to Xena Warrior Princess - passing through 90 other topics along the way, all seen through the lens of vibrant Christian faith. Every graduating student, recent graduate and parent will benefit from this fresh, humorous and encouraging collection of insights. Available from www.licc.org.uk/shop for £5.
Starting Work Well: integrating faith and work from the outset Monday 3rd November, 6.30pm – 9pm Price: £8, £6 concessions. (Includes a light supper at 6.30pm. Event begins 7pm.) You’ve recently graduated or started a new job – you’re keen to make a good impression, a bit nervous, and conscious that your shoes are looking really shiny. Will you fit in? What does it mean to flourish in this new place? And how do you make sure you don’t leave Jesus at the door? Join us as former Management Consultant Jago Wynne (author of Working Without Wilting and 100% Christianity) helps us think through key principles that will set us up for a lifetime of fruitfulness in the workplace.
For top books, blogs, audio recordings, networks and festivals exploring fruitfulness in transition and young adulthood visit www.licc.org.uk/TransitionResources 11
A Prayer for the Rising Generation In a world brimming with creativity and a myriad of gleaming distractions, help them find their best direction in you. In a world where it’s possible to be paralysed by endless choices, pour your wisdom and contentment into their lives. In a world where it’s easy to feel lost and insecure, remind them that your word is a rock solid foundation and their identity is in Christ. In a world obsessed with surface image, give them a desire to shine with godly character. In a world that vaunts individualism and self-fulfilment, help them to live for others. In a world where power is widely abused, convince them of your burning heart for justice. In an apathetic world, give them confidence that they can, with your help, be agents of Gospel change. Lord, remind them that you’re always there, loving them and going ahead of them, and always willing to give them strength to live and share the hope of Christ in a world that so desperately needs you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.