1. The Hardest Story I Never Shared

Chapt er 1

THE HARDEST STORY I NEVER SHARED

If you have faced abuse or trauma or walked with those who have, you know sugarcoating reality doesn’t let light into the darkness. Why are there horrif c stories to tell in the f rst place?

Struggles go back to the beginning in the garden of Eden. Although God gave Adam and Eve abundance and fellowship, they ate the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3). As the serpent hissed with delight, Adam and Eve hid, guilt-ridden and full of shame. They knew they did wrong (eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil), which changed their identity (realizing their nakedness).

As you read my story and consider your own, remember the garden. But don’t stop with the sin of Adam and Eve. Don’t wallow in guilt or shame.

Remember Adam and Eve and the f g leaves? They couldn’t hide the shameful private parts peeking through the foliage.

So, what did God do? Though they were guilty, God used animal skins to cover them.

That’s what God does—it’s what he did for me. By the blood of Jesus, He covered my shame and forgave my guilt. It has been a long journey to learn this truth, one that took me down a dreadful path at the US Military Academy at West Point.

14

A Hard Question—Why Didn’t I Leave the Room?

After thirty years, I never understood why. What I know now is I never considered it a viable option. I’ve rarely shared this story because of my shame. Many think they knew what happened

We feel guilt when we that fateful spring in the do something wrong and Fourth Regiment’s barshame we when think we racks. I was blamed for are wrong in our nature. ruining a “good cadet’s

Brené Brown states, career” and called names

“There is a profound like “slut” and “whore.” dif erence between Infamy followed me, but shame and guilt. I believe I’m silent no more. that guilt is adapt ve My West Point experiand helpful—it’s holding ence gave me nightmares something we’ve done until I came to Christ in or failed to do up against my thirties. Now I dream our values and feeling of leading, protecting, psychological discomfort. and helping others to be

I def ne shame as the strong and victorious. intensely painful feeling “Why didn’t you just or experience of believing leave the room?” my hus-that we are fl awed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”1 band, Christopher, asked me one day in exasperation. Married twenty-