31 Perfect Valentines For Unromantic People Valentines-shmalentines — wanna bang?
1. For the Valentine who makes you want to vomit less than most other people do.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
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2. For the Valentine you want to play paleontologist with.
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Buy here.
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3. For the Valentine you’re stuck with.
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Ehh.
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Buy here.
4. For the Valentine you love in spite of all their many flaws.
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etsy.com
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Buy here.
5. For the Valentine who also happens to be your loofah.
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You’ll never need to shell out the money for a Clarisonic. Buy here.
6. For the Valentine who’s currently wearing too many articles of clothing.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
7. For the Valentine you’d pull a Ross for.
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The ultimate expression of love. Buy here.
8. For when you want to cut to the chase as far as this whole Valentine card thing goes.
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Buy here.
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9. For a Valentine who appreciates fine poetry.
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Buy here.
10. For a Valentine who deserves a dozen roses.
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They’re called “Nylunds” and they can only be grown in St. Olaf. Buy here.
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11. For when your Valentine needs a meal plan.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
12. For the Valentine you’d never use a Patronus Charm against.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
13. For the Valentine you adore (“Darth breathing” and all).
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hellolucky.com
Buy here.
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14. For a Valentine who makes you all moony.
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powerandlightpress.bigcartel.com
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Buy here.
15. For the Valentine who makes you sing Baby Bash.
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They have you “lifted shifted higher than a ceiling.” Buy here.
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16. For your rock.
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You’d love him even if he always wore a turtleneck and fanny pack. Buy here.
17. For the Valentine who loves you at your best and at your worst.
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hellolucky.com
Buy here.
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18. For the Valentine who could actually make a stove pipe hat look hot.
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etsy.com
Is Daniel Day-Lewis your Valentine?
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Buy here.
19. For when your love can only be measured using the Kardashian system.
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The metric system just doesn’t cut it. Buy here.
20. For a Valentine with an exceptional _______.
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You fill in the blank. Buy here.
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21. For a Valentine who makes you carnivorous.
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Buy here.
22. For the Cheryl to your Larry.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
23. For the Valentine you’d get out the razor for.
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Buy here.
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24. For the Valentine whose booty you crave.
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Buy here.
25. For a Valentine who doesn’t expect eloquence.
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Buy here.
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26. For a Valentine who could be displayed at a butcher shop.
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Buy here.
27. For a Valentine in need of some instruction.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
28. For a Valentine who would never judge.
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etsy.com
Buy here.
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29. For the Valentine who can make you speak Parseltongue.
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Buy here.
30. For the Valentine you’d know even if they had their face surgically removed.
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etsy.com
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Face off or on, it’s love. Buy here.
31. For the Valentine you can’t escape from.
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etsy.com
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… not that you’d try. Buy here.
Here’s hoping you spend Valentine’s Day with someone who hates all the mushy bullshit as much as you do.
NBC thatslutinthearmchair.tumblr.com
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NBC thatslutinthearmchair.tumblr.com
May true romance reign.
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Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mallorymcinnis/you-repulse-me-the-least Futhermore: 31 Perfect Valentines For Unromantic People
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