30 days of lifetogether v3 small by Lifetogether Ministries

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30 Days of Lifetogether

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means -- electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise -- except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

By Pastor Steve Johnson

Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Lifetogether Ministries Rancho Santa Margarita, California

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ISBN Printed in the United States of America

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FOREWORD BY BRETT EASTMAN

30 DAYS TO COMMUNITY

CONTENTS Foreword by First & Last Name

Intro by First & Last Name

How to use this workbook

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS IN LIFE, BUT FEELING DISCONNECTED?

OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION SESSION 1: CONNECTING WITH JESUS

SESSION 2: CONNECTING WITH ONE ANOTHER

SESSION 3: CONNECTING IN COMMUNITY

SESSION 4: CONNECTING IN LOVE

APPENDICES Frequently Asked Questions

Small Group Agreement

Small Group Calendar

Journaling 101

Spiritual Partners

Celebrating Communion in Your Group

30 Day Reading Plan

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Our culture keeps us dialed in and “connected” through technology: we can text, email, instant message. We can connect through social media, phone, video conferencing—or even in person. But sometimes, despite all these opportunities, we can sometimes feel isolated or alone. We could have 200 friends on Facebook but still feel like no one really knows us. More than ever, we need a group of friends who can encourage us, pray for us, love on us. Small groups provide that kind of community. It’s life-changing—and electronic connections can’t compare! This study focuses on connecting—with God and with others. You’ll learn about community, while experiencing it in your group. In this guide, you’ll find four small group lessons you can use with your small group to explore these invitations. You’ll also find some unique daily devotionals, each written as if it were a personal note from Jesus to you. Each will remind you of his deep love for you, and encourage you to grow closer to him as you prepare your heart for Easter. Here at LifeTogether, we believe life change happens in small groups. We’ve created resources that have changed millions of people’s lives, and we’d like to invite you to experience something equally profound. Brett Eastman President and Founder LifeTogether MInistries

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INTRODUCTION BY PERSONS NAME HERE PROIN RUTRUM FELIS A MASSA VIVERRA MATTIS. CURABITUR AT SAGITTIS NUNC. DONEC POSUERE MALESUADA ENIM, QUIS ALIQUAM DIAM RHONCUS SED. NULLA DIGNISSIM, SEM VITAE ULLAMCORPER FERMENTUM, NIBH LIGULA ORNARE IPSUM, A RUTRUM NEQUE LIBERO QUIS METUS. MAECENAS NON AUCTOR NISI, SED IACULIS LIGULA. CRAS VESTIBULUM

USING THIS

WORKBOOK TOOLS TO HELP YOU HAVE A GREAT SMALL GROUP EXPERIENCE!

TINCIDUNT ERAT, ET HENDRERIT NIBH FRINGILLA VITAE. INTEGER ADIPISCING LACUS RISUS, UT SAGITTIS ODIO SCELERISQUE QUIS. NULLAM FAUCIBUS FRINGILLA RISUS FRINGILLA MALESUADA.

1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Small Group Leaders.

DONEC FAUCIBUS VOLUTPAT MI VITAE PRETIUM. NULLAM AC MI UT SEM

Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will

CONSEQUAT FEUGIAT SIT AMET EU DIAM. FUSCE FRINGILLA PHARETRA

be used in the sessions themselves.

LACUS, A IACULIS ELIT ULTRICIES AT. DUIS POSUERE LIBERO ANTE, QUIS SODALES NEQUE FRINGILLA CONSEQUAT. ALIQUAM LOBORTIS MAGNA, VITAE FACILISIS LECTUS SEMPER ID.

2. If you are facilitating/leading or co-leading a small group, the section Small Group Leaders will give you some hard-

DONEC FAUCIBUS VOLUTPAT MI VITAE PRETIUM. NULLAM AC MI UT SEM

learned experiences of others that will encourage you and

CONSEQUAT FEUGIAT SIT AMET EU DIAM. FUSCE FRINGILLA PHARETRA

help you avoid many common obstacles to effective small

LACUS, A IACULIS ELIT ULTRICIES AT. DUIS POSUERE LIBERO ANTE, QUIS SODALES NEQUE FRINGILLA CONSEQUAT. ALIQUAM LOBORTIS VENENATIS

group leadership.

MAGNA, VITAE FACILISIS LECTUS SEMPER.

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the CONSEQUAT FEUGIAT SIT AMET EU DIAM. FUSCE FRINGILLA PHARETRA LACUS, A IACULIS ELIT ULTRICIES AT. DUIS POSUERE LIBERO ANTE, QUIS SODALES NEQUE FRINGILLA CONSEQUAT. ALIQUAM LOBORTIS.

group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Small Group Leaders section. 4. Enjoy your small group experience.

UIS METUS. MAECENAS NON AUCTOR NISI, SED IACULIS LIGULA. CRAS VESTIBULUM TINCIDUNT ERAT, ET HENDRERIT NIBH FRINGILLA VITAE.

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5. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

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SESSION ONE

CONNECTING WITH JESUS

MEMORY VERSE [ MATTHEW 9:13 ] “FOR I HAVE NOT COME TO CALL THE RIGHTEOUS, BUT SINNERS.”

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WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FOLLOW? Look around at the group of people gathered around you—in a living room, perhaps, or a coffee shop. They may look like they’ve got it all together, but the truth is: they are imperfect. They’re great people, each with strengths. But each has flaws, is wounded in some way. And that is all right. That’s the beauty of small group community—every gathering is one where people can be accepted for who they are, yet challenged to grow in who they are becoming. The pressure’s off—you don’t need to be perfect. We’d rather have you be real. We are all in need of the grace of God, the healing touch of Jesus in our lives. The amazing thing is, Jesus doesn’t avoid imperfect people—sinners like you and I. Instead, he seeks them out, invites them to the table, or into the living room, and welcomes them.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Each of us has a story.

The events of our life—good, bad, challenging or wonderful—have shaped who we are. God knows your story, and he intends to redeem it—to use every struggle and every joy to ultimately bring you to himself. When we tell our stories, sharing them with others, we give others the opportunity to see God at work.

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alonethat we have common experiences and thoughts, and that others can understand what we are going through. Your story can encourage someone else, and telling it can be a path to freedom for you, and for those you share it with.

Jesus was known for reaching out to the marginalized, the people labeled by his society as “sinners.” When questioned about this, he said that those far from God needed his love and teaching more than those who already knew all of God’s laws and traditions. So welcome one another, fellow sinners, as Jesus would. P | 11

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Open your group with prayer. Pray simply and briefly, saving more in-depth requests until the end of the meeting. Ask God to give you insights and wisdom as you study and discuss together. As you begin at this first meeting, take time to pass around a copy of the Small Group Roster on page ???, a sheet of paper, or one of you pass your Study Guide, opened to the Small Group Roster. Have everyone write down their contact information. Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s information and email it to the group this week.

Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

1. What are you hoping to get out of this group? What drew you here? 2. What strengths do you bring to this group? What do you think you can do for others in the group?

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REFLECT & REVIEW TOGETHER

Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to reflect on and review your values together. On pages ???-??? is a Small Group Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups. We recommend that you choose one or two values—ones you haven’t previously focused on or have room to grow in—to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that will take your group to the next stage of intimacy and spiritual health.

We recommend that you rotate host homes on a regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. We’ve come to realize that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside him (Mark 6:30–44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendix additional information about hosting or leading the group.

If your group is new, welcome newcomers. Introduce everyone—you may even want to have name tags for your first meeting.

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WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW.

HEAR

GOD’S STORY God uses stories to guide us. When we read the true stories of Scripture, we learn what God is like, we see His plan unfolding. And we learn principles for our own lives. How can we become a part of God’s story? By aligning our stories with His. But not just understanding what it means to follow Him, but actually doing it—changing our attitudes and actions to live as he would live. Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching and stories you just experienced, and the Bible passage below. You may want to use the study notes on page ?? to guide your reading and discussion.

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READ MATTHEW 9:9-13

USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR DISCUSSION OF THE TEACHING AND STORIES YOU JUST EXPERIENCED, AND THE BIBLE PASSAGE

1. What do you think made Matthew respond to Jesus as he did?

2. What changes would you expect to see in Matthew’s life as a result of this decision?

3. What was it about Jesus that made Matthew want to invite his friends to meet him, do you think?

4. Matthew was a tax collector, which did not make him popular with his fellow Jews. (See study notes) What profession or type of person would be equivalent to a tax collector in our culture? Why do you think he hung out with “sinners”?

5. The Pharisees question Jesus’

6. In your life, who are the “tax

disciples, rather than Jesus himself. Why do you think they did that?

collectors and sinners”? How often do you spend time with them?

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STUDY NOTES

Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme as a group (if there is time) or on your own between sessions.

Tax collectors and sinners. Jesus made it a point to reach out to people who were outside the religious subculture of his day—the outcasts of His society.

Tax collectors were particularly scorned because they were Jews, but

they worked for the oppressive government that occupied the land, the Romans. Tax collectors were notorious for cheating—collecting what Rome demanded, then whatever profit they could add for themselves, at the expense of their fellow Jews. Reasonably, the Jews saw them as traitors.

CREATE A NEW STORY

God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight—but it should happen steadily. By small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way: giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God.

While all people are “sinners” (see Romans 3:23), those labeled “tax

collectors and sinners” by the Pharisees were those who deliberately ignored the law—people who lived a lifestyle of sin, such as moneylenders, tax collectors and prostitutes. Mercy, not sacrifice. The religious leaders of Jesus’ day spent much of their time studying and discussing the Torah, and how to live it out. They would have had most of what we call the Old Testament completely memorized, word for word. So when Jesus quotes just a short phrase from Hosea 6, they would immediately recall the entire passage—just as we might recall a whole pop song when we hear one line from it. In Hosea 6, God accuses his people of not truly loving him of unfaithfulness to Him, describing them with words like “footprints of blood,” “evildoers,” “wicked,” and worse. The accusations, delivered by the prophet Hosea, concludes ominously and succinctly: “Israel is defiled.” It is not surprising that the Pharisees didn’t like what they heard from Jesus. P | 21

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In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

1. Like Matthew, Jesus invites you to follow him. How did you feel when you first became aware of this invitation? How did you respond?

2. What type of people would be a modern equivalent of “sinners and tax collectors”? Do you ever spend time with that sort of people?

3. What do you think Jesus meant when he said he desire mercy, not sacrifices? Why is mercy (the attitude we have toward sinners) more important than sacrifice (thing we do for God such as good deeds or attending church)?

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4. How might reaching out to marginalized or rejected people help you to connect with Jesus?

5. What do you need to let go of in order to respond to Jesus’ invitation to follow him?

6. This week, how will you nurture that connection with Jesus? Can you commit to spending time in daily prayer or study of God’s word (use the Daily Devotions section to guide you). Tell the group how you plan to follow Jesus this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.your home or school, somewhere else? In other words, where do you work?

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TO CLOSE

To close your time together, spend some time worshiping God together—praying, singing, reading Scripture.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song. Try singing á capela, using a worship CD, or have some one accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

Read a passage of Scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

Ask everyone to share: “How can we pray for you this week?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page ???.

Close your meeting with prayer.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

SCAN NOW GET EXTRA CONTENT FOR YOUR STUDY.

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

Read Luke 5:1-11 Jesus initiates his connection with Simon Peter by asking him to do a favor—to use his boat as a speaking platform. How does letting someone help you out build connection with them? What does Simon Peter think of Jesus’ idea to try fishing again? What does he give as his reason for agreeing to Jesus’ directions? What do you think motivated Peter, James and John to “leave everything” and follow Jesus? What would you have done if you’d been in their situation?

Read Philippians 1:9-11 What do you think it means to have love abound in knowledge? When you try to “discern what is best,” how do you do it? How does your connection with Jesus help you to do this? Righteousness, or right behavior and attitudes, comes from who or what, according to this verse?

Read Matthew 7:1-5 Have you ever felt judged by others? What did they say or do to make you feel that way? What do you think Jesus means when he says “with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Most of us would never say we judge others. But how do you feel about people who vote differently than you do? How about welfare moms, prostitutes, or gay rights advocates? Why is it so much easier to focus on the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye than the plank in our own? P | 27

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DAILY

DEVOTIONALS Welcome to a 30-Day experience that will draw you closer to Jesus. Each day, read the verse given. Take your time. Imagine that Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with his presence and loving you with his words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response back to him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do.

DAY 1:

READ: PSALM 51:1

REFLECT The only barrier between you and I is not just sin, but unconfessed sin— the sin you’d rather ignore or pretend I don’t notice. I’ve died to erase it; all you need to do is confess it. I’m longing to show you my compassion—which truly is bigger and more complete than you can even imagine. I’m truly able to forgive and forget, to bury your sins. It’s when you experience my forgiveness that you can extend that same forgiveness to others. You’ll connect with me RESPOND Read also Psalm 103:12. How does having mercy shown to you soften your heart toward “sinners”? [include lines for journaling here]

DAY 2:

READ PSALM 51: 2-3

On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience his presence.

Sometimes, I know, you feel like a mess. But you can still come to me, and let me clean you up. Nothing you’ve done could make me stop loving you—but I do want to help you get cleaned up.

At any point during each week, you may want to read over

The goal is not to impress others, but to point others toward me with your changed life. So let’s look honestly at the problems in your life, and work toward changing what can be changed. And letting go of the shame about things that can’t change, or were never your fault to begin with.

all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, day by day, listening to Jesus and responding to him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience his presence.

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REFLECT

RESPOND We all sin at times—we all make mistakes and bad choices. But which sin, for you, is always before you? Can you surrender that to Jesus, allow him to cleanse you from it?

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DAY 3:

READ PSALM 51:4

REFLECT

DAY 5:

READ: PSALM 51:6

REFLECT

I’m the only one who really has a right to judge anyone, including you. And here’s the thing—I see your sin. You can’t hide it from me. But when you confess, and turn away from it, I gladly forgive.

My child, I’ve known you since you were conceived. Before you were even born, I knew and loved you. And I looked forward to the day you’d be able to respond to that love.

My goal is to restore our relationship, to set you free from your sin, so that you can love me without restraint or shame. In that freedom, you can invite others to be set free as well.

What gives me joy is that you have indeed responded to my love, and you’re seeking to grow closer to me. Keep seeking me, and you’ll discover more of me.

RESPOND What sin do you need to confess to Jesus today? What shame do you need to be set free from?

DAY 4:

Read also Psalm 139:13-16. How do you feel about the fact that God’s known and loved you since before you were born?

READ PSALM 51:5

REFLECT Because all human beings are born with the freedom to choose: life or death, freedom or bondage—you sometimes choose sin. It’s in your nature. But when you trust me, when you let me lead your life, I don’t just forgive past mistakes. I give you a whole new nature, and the Holy Spirit to lead you. You become a whole new person.

RESPOND Read also 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Romans 7. How does denying our sinful nature keep us from moving forward in our spiritual journey?

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RESPOND

DAY 6:

READ: PSALM 51:7

REFLECT Have you ever tried to erase writing on a piece of paper, and no matter how hard you rub, you can still see the faint marks? It’s not perfectly clean. You can still see the mistakes that you’re trying to get rid of. When I cleanse you, there’s no marks, no residue of sin. When I wash you, you’ll be clean like fresh-fallen snow, pure and blameless.

RESPOND Read also Philippians 1:9-11. How do we become pure and blameless? How does forgiveness strengthen our connection with Jesus?

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DAY 7:

READ: PSALM 51:8

REFLECT

SUMMARY

Have you ever felt crushed by life and it’s problems? Weighed down by your own sins and shortcomings? Let me lift you up, let me restore your joy. I am the great healer. Even in difficult times, when you feel overwhelmed, I’m with you, and I want to give you joy, in spite of your circumstances. Trust me, and I’ll heal your soul.

RESPOND What situation or struggle needs the healing touch of Jesus right now? Talk to him about it.

DAY 8:

READ PSALM 51:9-10

REFLECT My deep desire for you, my precious one, is that you would be set free from the bondage of sin. My forgiveness deepens our connection, because it allows you to change, to be transformed. Trust me, and I’ll create a pure heart in you. I’ll change who you are from the inside out, enabling you to connect deeply with me, and with others. When I cleanse you, life begins afresh. RESPOND Spend some time just thanking God for his amazing gift of forgiveness and grace.

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MEMORY VERSE [ 1 JOHN 4:7 ] DEAR FRIENDS, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR LOVE COMES FROM GOD.

SESSION TWO

CONNECTING WITH

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SHARE YOUR STORY

God is the maker of the universe. He created the world we live in, and all the stars and planets we see in the night sky, along with others we can’t see—but are still there, in the vast universe. Even if someone doesn’t believe that God made the world, that doesn’t change the fact that he did. That truth is not dependent upon our belief. In the same way, the source of all love is God. Just as people can breathe air and walk the earth even if they don’t know it came from God, they can feel love for one another without realizing that it all came from God. But when we do realize that love comes from God, how much richer our connections with one another, and with him, become! Love becomes more than an emotion or even a committed decision—it becomes a gift. And knowing the giver changes IN THE SAME WAY, THE everything. SOURCE OF ALL LOVE IS It also motivates us to love in GOD. JUST AS PEOPLE CAN a far deeper and more selfless BREATHE AIR AND WALK way. Many people in our world love others who love them back. THE EARTH EVEN IF THEY But when we connect to God’s DON’T KNOW IT CAME love, we are able to love more FROM GOD, THEY CAN FEEL deeply, and to love those who LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER are not always easy to love. We WITHOUT REALIZING THAT see ourselves as agents of God’s IT ALL CAME FROM GOD. amazing love.you would be willing to defend that person. It

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As we said last week, when we tell our stories, sharing them with others, we give others the opportunity to see God at work. Your story is being shaped, even in this moment, by being a part of this group. In fact, few things can shape us more than community. When we share our stories, we can encourage someone else, and learn. We can experience the presence of God has he helps us be brave enough to reveal our thoughts and feelings.

Open your group with prayer. Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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REFLECT & REVIEW TOGETHER

Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

1. When is the first time you remember feeling loved? Perhaps it was when you felt a parent or other relative care for you, or maybe the first time you had a crush on someone. Share the experience with the group. How did you know that you were feeling love? What was it like?

Pair up with someone in your group. (We suggest that men partner with men and women with women.) This person will be your spiritual partner for the rest of this study. He or she doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be your best friend, but will simply encourage you to complete the goals you set for yourself during this study. Following through on a resolution is tough when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on your own, it makes all the difference to have a partner cheering you on.

2. When you were young, who did you trust the most? Who did you depend on?

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WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW.

HEAR

GOD’S STORY How can we become a part of God’s story? By aligning our stories with His. By understanding what it means to follow Him. Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching and stories you just experienced, and the Bible passage below. By the time they have this meal, Jesus and his disciples have been together for three years, which means they would have celebrated Passover before—but this meal was different. It quickly becomes clear that there’s more than just another holiday meal unfolding. As you read, try to imagine yourself in the room, as one of the disciples, watching and listening to Jesus, eating with him.

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READ 1 JOHN 4:7-12

USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR DISCUSSION OF THE TEACHING AND STORIES YOU JUST EXPERIENCED, AND THE BIBLE PASSAGE BELOW.

1. This text tells us that God is love. It doesn’t just say God is loving, but that he is love. How would you explain the difference?

2. How did God show his love to you (see verses 9-10)?

3. How does that act of love make you feel: a. indifferent, b. uncertain, c. guilty, d. amazed?

4. The phrase “love one another” occurs in this text three times. What would it look like to love one another in the context of your small group? In your family?

5. What do you think it means in verse 12 when it says that if we love, God lives in us?

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STUDY NOTES

Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme as a group (if there is time) or on your own between sessions.

Atoning sacrifice (verse 10). When a wrong has been done, justice demands that a price be paid. Break the law, you’ll go to court and pay a fine, or even do some time. We consider that fair, at least when someone else is the one who broke the law. And even if we don’t like it when we get caught, we know that if we’ve done wrong, it’s only fair that we pay

CREATE A NEW STORY

the penalty. In ancient times, God set up a system of sacrifices to remind people that sin has a penalty, a price. They’d sacrifice goats or birds or lambs to atone for (make restitution for) their sins. When Jesus came, he was the ultimate sin sacrifice, once for all (see Hebrews 7:27 and 9:12, for example). Justice demands that a price be paid; love pays that price. Love… In our culture, the word love is overused and misunderstood. We use the same word to describe our enthusiasm for a hobby (“I just love reading mystery novels”) as we do to describe our love for our spouse, family or even God. Ancient Greek, the original language of the New Testament, had at least three words that meant love. Agape is used to describe selfless, active love. It differs from phileo (warm friendship or brotherly love) and eros (romantic or sexual love). In this passage, we see the verb agapomen, a verb form of agape that implies a strong command—do this! God’s love for us is anything but casual. It is deep, unconditional, and willing to sacrifice. It takes the initiative, but puts the other first. (See 1 Corinthians 13). Because God first loved us in this way, we’re compelled to love others with similar intensity and selflessness.

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Answer the following questions. 1. Often, the people we say we love are the hardest ones to act loving toward: we complain about a spouse, we nag our kids, we roll our eyes at our parents (even when we are no longer teenagers). Who is someone in your daily life that is sometimes difficult to love? Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your small group, or even just to have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring people to mind that you can pray for. 2. When did you first become aware of God’s love for you? How did it change you? How did you respond to that love? 6. In verse 12 it says that God’s love is made complete in us when we love one another. Tell about a time you experienced God’s love through another person. How can the way you love others “complete” God’s love for them? 3. Do you ever have trouble feeling God’s love? After all, he’s not here with us physically. What gets in the way of experiencing God’s love for you?

7. Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Share your lists with the group so that you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

4. How might loving others allow you to experience God’s love yourself? Describe a time this happened to you.

5. Think of someone that you know who needs to know God’s love— who might be feeling lonely or disconnected. Decide what you will do to show love to that person this week.

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TO CLOSE

To close your time together, spend some time worshiping God together—praying, singing, reading Scripture.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song. Try singing á capela, using a worship CD, or have some one accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

Read a passage of Scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

Developing our ability to serve according to the leading of the Holy Spirit takes time and persistence in getting to know our Lord. So the first step toward serving others is, paradoxically, spending time alone with God: in prayer, in studying and reflecting on God’s Word. Here are some simple ways to connect with God. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress

Ask everyone to share: “How can we pray for you this week?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page ???.

Close your meeting with prayer.

and challenges.

Prayer. Commit to personal prayer and daily connection with God. You may find it helpful to write your prayers in a journal.

Daily Devotions. The Daily Devotions provided in each session offer an opportunity for reading a short Bible passage five days a week during the course of this study. In our hurry-up world, we often move too quickly through everything—even reading God’s word! Slow down. Don’t just skim, but take time to read carefully and reflect on God’s word. Write down your insights on what you read each day. Copy a portion of Scripture on a card and tape it somewhere in your line of sight, such as your car’s dashboard or the kitchen table. Or text it to yourself! Think about it when you sit at red lights, or while you’re eating a meal. Reflect on what God is saying to you through these words. On the sixth day summarize what God has shown you throughout the week.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

SCAN NOW GET EXTRA CONTENT FOR YOUR STUDY.

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. Want to go deeper? Select a few verses and try paraphrasing them: writing them in your own words. If you like, share them with the group the next time you meet.

Read John 15:9-17 What does this passage tell us about Jesus’ relationship with his heavenly Father? What do you think it means to “remain” in God’s love? What does it mean to lay down your life for your friends? Who is a friend who has laid down their life for you? How does it feel to be chosen? What does the fact that Jesus chose you tell you about his feelings toward you?

Read Romans 12:9-21 Who is someone you know that honors others above themselves? What does it mean to be patient in affliction? Where have you had to practice patience lately? What are you learning through that experience? What is the hardest part about living at peace with others? Is there anyone you are not at peace with right now? What can you do to improve that relationship, to love that person?

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DAILY

DEVOTIONALS

DAY 9:

READ: 1 JOHN 3: 1

REFLECT My Father is never stingy with his love, but generous. He lavishes his love upon you, because you’re his precious child. You haven’t had to earn that abundant love, in fact you can’t earn it. It’s a free gift. God does not love you from a distance, or out of obligation. Your very identity is grounded in his love: you are his child. Revel in that, soak it in. It will change the way that you see yourself, and the way that you love others. RESPOND Where have you experienced lavish love? Do you tend to have a mindset of abundance, or a mindset of scarcity, when it comes to love?

Continue on your 30-Day journey toward Easter. Each day, read the verse given. Take your time. Imagine that Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with his presence and loving you with his words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response back to him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do. On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience his presence. (This week’s devotions are taken from The Message Bible.)

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DAY 10: READ: 1 JOHN 3:16 REFLECT My dear one, I love you. So much that I laid down my life for you. No one forced me to do so—though it was agonizing, I did it willingly, because I love you. And because I want to set an example for you. Just as I sacrificed myself for you, I’m asking you to lay down your life for others. Let go of demanding your own way. Let go of your agenda, your comfort, your need to have the last word. Give of yourself. When you lose your life for my sake, you’ll gain more than you ever dreamed. RESPOND Read Luke 9:24. What does it mean to lose your life, or lay down your life for others? How does that build community?

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DAY 11: READ: 1 JOHN 3: 17 REFLECT Whether you have a little or a lot when it comes to material things, I’m asking you to be generous. I’ve filled you with my love—which multiplies when you give it away. Love and pity are not just feelings, but should lead you to action. Give generously of your time and money. Share with those in need. You’ll experience a blessing beyond imagining. RESPOND Read also Matthew 25:34-40. Who is someone in need? (If you don’t know anyone who is needy, perhaps you need to prayerfully consider why that is.) Do something generous for that person this week.

DAY 12: READ: 1 JOHN 3:18 REFLECT Talk, they say, is cheap. Not necessarily—words do matter. Truth matters. But I’m asking you to make sure your actions match your words. Talking about love, no matter how eloquently, is not enough. I’m calling you to live it out with your actions. Think of me, putting on flesh and living among human beings, dying for all. I’ve set an example for you of what it means to love with actions and in truth. Follow my example—you’ll draw closer to me in the process. RESPOND Read also John 1:14. What does it mean to love with actions? What specific loving action will you take this week?

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DAY 13:

READ: 1 JOHN 3:19-20

REFLECT My child, I know—you doubt yourself, question the truth. You let shame speak too loudly in your heart. Turn away from that voice that condemns, and instead listen to the one who is greater, who speaks truth. That is who you belong to. Let your heart rest in my presence, confident and safe. The things you don’t understand don’t matter—because I understand it all, and will be with you, protecting and guiding you into truth. Trust me. RESPOND What does your heart condemn you for? How can you let go of that and grab onto God’s forgiveness so you can rest in his presence?

DAY 14: READ: 1 JOHN 3:21-22 REFLECT What do you need? It pleases me to respond to you, to bless you. I want to fill you with my love, so that you can move forward with confidence. Don’t be afraid or insecure, my child. When you know you’re loved, you can relate to God with confidence, and love others with confidence. You can enjoy the blessings of deep community with others who share your connection with God. RESPOND Read also Hebrews 4:16. How does having confidence in God’s love help you to keep his commands? What keeps you from having that

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DAY 15: READ: 1 JOHN 3:23 REFLECT

SUMMARY

I’ve poured out my love, in all its fullness, so that you can believe in me and have a rich relationship with me. I love our connection, it brings me joy—you are a delight to me, and your love for me brings me joy. Now, filled up as you are—go spill that love onto others. Don’t keep it to yourself. Love indiscriminately—friends, enemies, strangers. Don’t be afraid to choose love in every situation. It’s then that your joy will be complete. RESPOND Jesus commanded us to love one another. Specifically, which “others” is he calling you to love right now? What are you doing to love them?

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SESSION THREE

CONNECTING IN COMMUNITY

MEMORY VERSE [ 1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 ] THEREFORE ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER AND BUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST AS IN FACT YOU ARE DOING.

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ACCORDING TO THE GOSPELS, JESUS SPENT A LOT OF HIS TIME PRAYING. You were created for community. You are made in the image of God—and God himself exists in community—as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

SHARE YOUR STORY

The Bible encourages us to live in authentic community, using the phrase “one another” dozens of times to remind us that community is built not by just thinking about it, but through actions: loving one another, praying for one another, encouraging one another, and so on.

You may wonder—what would that look like? A community that built each other up, cared for one another in every way? The Bible gives us a reallife example of an amazing community in Acts 2. The early church experienced a rich fellowship that went beyond common theology or beliefs. They truly cared for each other and met one another’s physical, spiritual and emotional needs. It was a community marked by generosity and joy.

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WE CAN LEARN A LOT ABOUT HOW TO GO DEEPER IN FELLOWSHIP, HOW TO ENGAGE IN AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY, BY LOOKING AT THE EARLY CHURCH.

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Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. Telling our personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

1. Have you ever been a part of a great community? Maybe it was the neighborhood you grew up in, a sports team you played on, a church you were a part of, even a company you worked for. What made this community a great place for you?

2. Sit with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or if you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet have a partner. If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now. (See Share Your Story in Session Two.)

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WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW.

HEAR

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HEAR

8. How would you describe the commitment level of this group of early disciples?

GOD’S STORY 9. What aspect of this type of closeness would you like to see in your small group?

READ ACTS

2:42-47

USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR DISCUSSION OF THE TEACHING AND STORIES YOU JUST EXPERIENCED, AND THE BIBLE PASSAGE BELOW.

3. In this passage, we read the story of the early church. What were some of the practices of this community?

4. How does this community differ from your experiences of church?

5. How is it similar to community you’ve experienced?

6. How did this community love God, and love each other?

7. How did they share that love with the community around them?

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STUDY NOTES

Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme as a group (if there is time) or on your own between sessions.

Fellowship (Acts 2:42) Verse 42 says that the early believers devoted themselves to teaching, fellowship, breaking bread and prayer. The word translated fellowship is the Greek word koinonia, which means “sharing what we have in common.” It implies not only relational closeness and authenticity but intensely practical generosity. Koinonia is the opposite of pleonexia, which is a selfish, grasping spirit. This word is also translated communion and even contribution or distribution—all of which give us clues into its rich meaning of not just hanging out together but caring for and providing for one another. Breaking of bread (Acts 2:42 and 46). The early church shared all things in common, apparently including meals. But many scholars believe that these two mentions in Acts 2 refer to two different types of meals: a breaking of bread as part of worship to remember Jesus’ breaking of bread at the Last Supper (as he instructed them in Matthew 26, Mark 14 and Luke 22, see also 1 Corinthians 11), and an actual meal that they shared together. Just as today we enjoy fellowship around a dinner table, the early church made a habit of sharing meals. Many wonders and signs (Acts 2:43).This phrase recalls a prophecy from Joel 2:28-32, which was fulfilled in Acts 2:19. It’s a reminder that the apostles’ miracles were evidence of God’s presence and favor on this community.

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NOTES

CREATE A NEW STORY

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In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this session.

1. What keeps us from experiencing community and fellowship as close and vibrant as that of the early church?

2. What does it mean to “have all things in common”? What is your gut response to this idea?

6. In a healthy community—whether it is a church or a small group—each person contributes in some way by using their unique gifts and strengths to serve the group. How could you strengthen the fellowship of your group by serving them in some way, even if you are not the designated small group leader?

3. In your own experiences of community, have you ever been “filled with awe”? What happened?

4. What changes would you need to make in your life in order to participate in a community like this? Do you think it is possible in our culture to live this way?

Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your small group, or even just to have coffee and talk about spiritual matters.

5. What’s one thing you could do to deepen your experience of community?

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Ask the Holy Spirit to bring people to mind that you can pray for.

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Holy Spirit takes time and persistence in getting to know our Lord. So the first

This is a wonderful time to welcome a few friends into your group.

step toward serving others is, paradoxically, spending time alone with God:

Which of the people you listed could you invite? It’s possible that you may

in prayer, in studying and reflecting on God’s Word. So what specific steps

need to help your friend overcome obstacles to coming to a place where he or

will you take this week. If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe

she can encounter Jesus. Does your friend need a ride to the group? Help with

you’ll want to direct your attention to Scripture this week. If you’ve been

childcare?

Developing our ability to serve according to the leading of the

reading God’s word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and

Consider inviting a friend to attend a weekend service with

then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.

you and possibly plan to enjoy a meal together afterward. This can be a great opportunity to talk with someone about your faith in Jesus.

In the last session we asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram.

Is there someone whom you wouldn’t invite to your group but who still needs a connection? Would you be willing to have lunch or

Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus?

coffee with that person, catch up on life, and share something you’ve learned from this study? Jesus doesn’t call all of us to lead small groups, but he does call every disciple to spiritually multiply his or her life over time.

Go back to the Circles of Life diagram to help you think of the various people you come in contact with on a regular basis who need to know Jesus more deeply. Consider the following ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

TO CLOSE

To close your time together, spend some time worshiping God together—praying, singing, reading Scripture.

Have someone use their musical gifts to lead the group in a worship song. Try singing á capela, using a worship CD, or have some one accompany your singing with a musical instrument.

Read a passage of Scripture together, making it a time of praise and worship as the words remind you of all God has done for you. Choose a psalm or other favorite verse.

Ask everyone to share: “How can we pray for you this week?” Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page ???.

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FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

READ GALATIANS 5:13-15 What guidelines for community does this passage give us?

SCAN NOW GET EXTRA CONTENT FOR YOUR STUDY.

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

What do you think it means to serve one another humbly? What happens when we serve but act proud rather than acting with humility? How does loving our neighbor fulfill all of God’s law? Have you ever been in a community where people would “bite and devour” each other? What does that look like? What eventually happens?

READ ACTS 4:32-35 What does it mean to be one in heart and mind? Why don’t most churches or communities share all of their possessions today? What do you think it means to “testify to the power of the resurrection”? Imagine what it was like living in the early church community described here and in Acts 2. What would you like about it? What would make you uncomfortable?

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DAILY

DEVOTIONALS Each day, read the verse given. Take

your time. Imagine that

Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine him saying the words in

DAY 16: READ COLOSSIANS 3:11 REFLECT All of my children are precious to me—every last one. And my deepest desire is that they would live in unity, that they would ignore labels or status, and just love each other. This has never been an easy thing for anyone to do—in fact, it’s nearly impossible without my help. But with me beside you, strengthening and empowering you, you can love in a way that breaks down social, racial, economic and even religious barriers. You can love as I love.

the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with his presence and loving you with his words of comfort and strength.

RESPOND In this verse, Paul reminds the early church that they cannot discriminate, that they are one in Christ. Who are people that it is hard for you to love?

DAY 17: READ: COLOSSIANS 3:12 REFLECT

After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response back to him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is

Do you know that I chose you? Really know it? When you are secure in my love for you, strong in knowing that I’ve sought you out—it changes you. And that’s my goal: to love you in a transforming, life changing way. You’re dearly loved. Do you know that, embrace it? If so, let your outward actions match that inner reality. Put on compassion, kindness, and so on—so that when people look at you, they see me.

exactly what you’re free to do.

On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to

RESPOND What does it mean to clothe yourself with compassion? Patience? Today, try on just one of these attributes—and see what happens.

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DAY 18: READ: COLOSSIANS 3:13 REFLECT My word has so much to say about how you treat one another—just as my life showed you how to treat one another. I know it’s not easy sometimes to bear with one another—to put up with people who are frustrating. I get it—I got frustrated with my disciples sometimes. But then again, if you want people to bear with you, to forgive you— you’ve got to do the same for them. Remember how much I’ve forgiven you, and it should help you to forgive others. That close community you’re looking for? It happens when you forgive others. RESPOND Who is someone you need to forgive? Who is someone you need to ask forgiveness from?

DAY 19: READ: COLOSSIANS 3:14 REFLECT Put on love, my child. Decide to take the love I’ve given to you, and wrap it around yourself and others. Make unity your goal, and love the means to meet that goal. You know you can’t be virtuous just by just trying really hard. You need my help, so lean on me. I’ll give you the power to put on virtues, and top them off with a love far beyond human understanding, a love that flows out of the intimacy I share with you. RESPOND Read also John 15:12. How does love connect the other virtues listed in this passage? How can you contribute to the unity of your small group?

DAY 20: READ: COLOSSIANS 3:15 REFLECT Are you anxious? Worried? Fearful. Don’t be afraid, my child. Open your heart to me, and let my peace flow in and take over. Don’t let your fears boss you around. Gratitude is the antidote for fear and anxiety. Be thankful—not just for the blessings I’ve given you but the blessing of our intimate friendship, our connection. When you are in fellowship with others whose hearts are also mine, you become as connected as a body, working together to do amazing things. Courage and compassion replace fear and anxiety. RESPOND What barriers to peace do you find in your heart? How can you choose to be thankful, and dismantle those barriers?

DAY 21: READ: COLOSSIANS 3:16 REFLECT Community isn’t just about easing loneliness, it’s about helping one another grow. I’ve given you wisdom, not just for your sake, but so that you can help others by teaching them, gently correcting them, helping them walk with me. And when you receive teaching and correction from them, it strengthens the bond between us. I love them through you, and you through them. Dwell with me—not just one-on-one but in the context of community. As you love others, it’s as if you’re loving me. When you help others grow and learn, it makes me smile. And do all of this with love and gratitude. RESPOND Are you open to hearing teaching and admonishment from others? How does that impact your connection with them?

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DAY 22:

READ COLOSSIANS 3:17

REFLECT

SUMMARY

Here’s my gift to you: you are mine. You bear my name. And you can do whatever I call you to do, in my name. With that name comes power and strength to say or do far more than you ever dreamed. As you fellowship with others and serve them, do it in my name. Do it with a grateful heart. I promise, I’ll be with you as you go, and you’ll experience sweet fellowship that comes from giving my love to others, and receiving that love back, multiplied. RESPOND Think about your daily tasks at work or home. How can you do all of those in the name of Jesus?

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MEMORY VERSE [ DEUTERONOMY 6:4-5 ] HEAR, O ISRAEL: THE LORD OUR GOD, THE LORD IS ONE. LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH

SESSION FOUR

CONNECTING IN

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SHARE YOUR STORY

As we have said in previous lessons, sharing our personal stories builds deeper connections among group members.

As you’ve quite possibly discovered over the last few

Your story may be exactly what another person needs to hear to encourage or strengthen them. And your listening to others’ stories is an act of love and kindness to them—and could very well help them to grow spiritually.

weeks, community can be wonderful. Or, it can be terribly messy and even difficult. Typically, it is all of the above. If your group stays together and continues to bond, there may

Open your group with prayer.

be times those bonds are tested. You will have to grapple with a big question: what does it mean to love? The Bible tells us we’re to love God and love others. Jesus said those were the most important commandments, and in fact, were the foundation of every other law in the Old Testament. All the “one another’s” we’ve discussed in previous lessons— things like be patient with one another, encourage one another, pray for one another—those are all acts of love. Love is the foundation, the bottom line. Love is simple, but not easy. It is what takes us from casual connection to deep community.

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AS THE BIBLE SAYS, IF WE HAVE NOT LOVE, WE’RE NOTHING. IN THIS FINAL LESSON, DIG IN AND DISCOVER WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE, AND HOW YOU CAN GROW IN LOVE.

This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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REFLECT & REVIEW TOGETHER

Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

1. What has surprised you most about this group? Where did God meet you over the last four weeks?

Take time in this final session to connect with your spiritual partner. What has God been showing you through these sessions about what it means to stand in the gap? Check in with each other about the progress you have made in your spiritual growth during this study. Make plans about whether you will continue in your mentoring relationship outside your Bible study group. Take some time for each person to share about how theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done with inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your small group. What specific conversations are you praying

1. Who is someone you know who seems to really love Jesus? How can you tell? Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one thing they do that you want to imitate?

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HEAR

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW.

GOD’S STORY READ

USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR

MATTHEW

DISCUSSION OF THE TEACHING AND STORIES YOU

22: 34 - 40

JUST EXPERIENCED, AND THE BIBLE PASSAGE BELOW.

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

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1. Have you ever had someone ask you a question to test you, or to try to start a debate? How did you feel in that moment? How does Jesus handle a potentially contentious question?

2. Jesus said that loving God and loving our neighbor should be our top priorities in life. Why do you suppose he chose these two?

3. The law expert asked for one â&#x20AC;&#x153;greatestâ&#x20AC;? commandment. Why does Jesus give him two?

4. Love has many meanings and connotations in our culture. Practically speaking, how does a person go about loving God?

5. Do you think it is possible to love God but not love your neighbor? Explain your answer.

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STUDY NOTES

Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme as a group (if there is time) or on your own between sessions.

An expert in the law (Matthew 22:35) The man who questioned Jesus may have been a scribe, or a Pharisee. He would have had the Torah, which are the texts that make up the first five books of both the Jewish and Christian Scriptures, committed to memory, word for word. He likely had an opinion about what the “right” answer to his question ought to be. And Jesus quotes those Scriptures. God’s priority has always been love— from the very beginning.

CREATE A NEW STORY

How has God changed your story during this four-week study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart? As you walk forward in your relationship with God, what will you do differently as a result of what you’ve experienced in this group?

Love the Lord Your God (Matthew 22:37). Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 6:5, which was not only a beloved text of the Jews, but one that they recited as a prayer twice a day. It was familiar not only to the experts in the law, but to every Jew of Jesus’ day.

Neighbor (Matthew 22:39). The Jewish religious leaders were also familiar with the command to love your neighbor (Leviticus 19:18), but often debated with one another (and with Jesus, see Luke 10:29-37) about who the word neighbor referred to. Jesus expanded the definition of neighbor to anyone we cross paths with— even our enemies. Because of our connection with people around the globe, every person is indeed our neighbor.

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Answer the following questions. 1. How do you love God? What specific actions do you take to love him?

2. Jesus said we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Do you ever find it difficult to love yourself? Explain.

3. Who are your neighbors? Make a list: co-workers, people you live near, family, friends, even those you don’t particularly like.

4. What are you doing to love each of the people on your list?

5. What’s your reaction to the idea that Christianity is really about relationships—loving God and loving people? How does that differ from many people’s perception of Christianity?

6. As you walk forward in your relationship with God, what will you do differently as a result of what you’ve experienced in this group?

7. How has experiencing community in this group helped you to love God and love others?

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TO CLOSE

To close your time together, spend some time worshiping God together—praying, singing, reading Scripture.

Close by praying for your prayer requests. Take a couple of minutes to review the praises you have recorded over the past five weeks on the Prayer and Praise Report on page ???.

Spend some time just worshipping God. Thanking Him for all He’s done in your group during this study.

LAST MEETING. As this is the last meeting in this study take some time to celebrate the work God has done in the lives of group members. Have each person in the group share some step of growth that they have noticed in another member. (In other words, no one will talk about themselves, but affirm others in the group). Make sure that each person gets affirmed and noticed and celebrated—whether the steps they’ve made are large or small.

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DAILY

DEVOTIONALS

DAY 23: READ MATTHEW 5:42 REFLECT The love I am asking you to give to your neighbor is not theoretical, any more than my love for you is simply an idea. I’m asking you to love as I loved you, which means offering tangible, real help. Loving your neighbor doesn’t mean just thinking warm thoughts toward them (although that might be a good first step). It means being willing to share your possessions. The question becomes, what matters more to you—your possessions, or our relationship? RESPOND Who wants to “borrow from you”? Why is a borrower sometimes difficult to love?

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DAY 24: READ: MATTHEW 5:43 REFLECT Who are your enemies, my child? There may be people who scorn you because of your beliefs, who criticize you. There may be someone you’re competing with at work for a position or promotion. You may even find yourself hating people who disagree with you politically, or who flaunt their immorality. My followers are to be known not for what they hate, but by the way that they love. Let go of hate, which is a bitter poison for your soul. RESPOND Who are your enemies—that is, who do you struggle to love?

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DAY 25: READ: MATTHEW 5:44 REFLECT

DAY 27: READ: MATTHEW 5:46 REFLECT

My child, when I was on the cross, I died not just for you, but for all. Even the men who nailed me to that cross, even the soldiers who beat me. I know how hard it is to love your enemies, believe me.

My child, I love you. And I am delighted that you love me back. But almost any human heart will respond to love with love. It’s how I created and designed you.

I also understand the motives of those who persecute others, believing they are defending honor or truth. Can you love your enemies? Can you pray for your persecutors, or even your critics? Let me fill you with love that

But when you are in close relationship with me, I strengthen you to do what you could never do in your human strength alone. I enable and empower you to love those who don’t love you. To initiate love toward the unlovely. Let me help you to rise above, to love as you’ve been loved.

RESPOND Read also Romans 12:21. Who is someone this verse has inspired you to pray for? Spend some time right now praying for that person.

RESPOND What would happen to your small group if it became known as a group of people who loved radically, who included people regardless of their

DAY 26: READ: MATTHEW 5:45 REFLECT I did not come into this world to condemn it, but to save it. I love all people, and want to draw all people to myself. Every person is created in the image of God, and they matter to me. I have given the gift of life to all people, not just those who follow me. Of course, I’m hoping they’ll look for the source of those gifts, and find me. Can you help point the way by loving all, and stepping up proudly to proclaim that you are children of the Father? RESPOND Read also John 3:17. What do you think it means to be “children of your Father in heaven”? What is one action you can take today to glorify your Father and let people know you are his child?

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DAY 28: READ MATTHEW 5:47 REFLECT In this world, there are people who are kind to one another, who love one another, even though they do not know me. They’re able to love those who love them, to be friendly to their friends. They don’t really need to ask God’s help to do that. They don’t need me to show them how—I’ve wired it into their DNA. But you, my friend, my disciple. I’m asking you to show the world something beyond ordinary love. My child, spend time with me, and you’ll be similarly transformed. RESPOND Who are the people in your inner circle? Who is someone outside that circle who needs to experience community, connection and love?

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DAY 29:

READ MATTHEW 5:48

REFLECT

SUMMARY

You need to understand, no one is perfect except God. And yet, if you live in me, and let me live in you, if our connection is vital and strong, I can help you to love in a way that will astonish you. Trust me to perfect what is growing in you—a love that increases in purity, selflessness and godliness every day.

RESPOND What gets in the way of loving others as God loves them?

DAY 30:

READ MATTHEW 5:14-15

REFLECT You are the light of the world, because you are my disciple. Live as I lived, and you can’t help but shine. Your light will help others to see clearly, to understand me. The light you shine is the light of love. Give light to people by serving them, by telling them about me but also demonstrating love in practical, tangible ways. A light is not theoretical, it’s real. Let your love for others be real, and whatever you do, don’t hide it. RESPOND Where are you tempted to put your light “under a bowl”? What does it mean to let your light shine?

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APPENDICES

GREAT RESOURCES TO HELP MAKE YOUR

SMALL GROUP

EXPERIENCE EVEN BETTER!

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FAQ

ministry opportunities, and so

will be with you even if there are

forth–and if the group gets too

only two of you (Matthew 18:20).

small, it could be at risk of shutting

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILD CARE NEEDS IN OUR GROUP?

WHAT IF THIS GROUP IS NOT WORKING FOR US?

Very carefully. Seriously, this can

You’re not alone! This could be

that you empower the group to

the result of a personality conflict,

openly brainstorm solutions. You

life stage difference, geographical

may try one option that works

distance, level of spiritual maturity,

for a while and then adjust over

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET?

or any number of things. Relax.

time. Our favorite approach is for

Pray for God’s direction, and at the

adults to meet in the living room or

It’s totally up to the group–once

end of this 6-week study, decide

Agreement (pages ???-???) and

dining room, and to share the cost

you come to the end of this 6-week

whether to continue with this group

share the names of a few friends

of a babysitter (or two) who can

study. Most groups meet weekly for

or find another. You don’t buy the

you can invite to join you. But most

be with the kids in a different part

at least their first 6 weeks, but every

first car you look at or marry the

importantly, have fun before your

of the house. In this way, parents

other week can work as well. We

first person you date, and the same

study time begins.

don’t have to be away from their

strongly recommend that the group

goes with a group. Don’t bail out

children all evening when their

meet for the first six months on a

before the 6 weeks are up–God

children are too young to be left

weekly basis if at all possible. This

might have something to teach

at home. A second option is to

allows for continuity, and if people

you. Also, don’t run from conflict or

use one home for the kids and a

miss a meeting they aren’t gone for

prejudge people before you have

second home (close by or a phone

a whole month.

given them a chance. God is still

call away) for the adults. A third

working in you too!

idea is to rotate the responsibility

WHAT DO WE DO ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF OUR GROUP? Like all fun things in life–have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Group

WHERE DO WE FIND NEW MEMBERS FOR OUR GROUP? This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then have each group member invite several of the people on his or her list. Another good strategy is to ask church leaders to

down. If you and your group stay open, you’ll be amazed at the people God sends your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. You never know!

At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she

WHO IS THE LEADER?

wants to continue on for another

Most groups have an official leader.

6-week study. Some groups launch

But ideally, the group will mature

relationships for years to come,

and members will rotate the

and others are stepping-stones into

leadership of meetings. We have

another group experience. Either

discovered that healthy groups

way, enjoy the journey.

rotate hosts/leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures

make an announcement or allow a

CAN WE DO THIS STUDY ON OUR OWN?

that all members grow, give their

bulletin insert.

Absolutely! This may sound crazy

their gifts. This study guide and

but one of the best ways to do No matter how you find members,

the Holy Spirit can keep things on

this study is not with a full house

it’s vital that you stay on the

track even when you rotate leaders.

but with a few friends. You may

lookout for new people to join

Christ has promised to be in your

choose to gather with one other

your group. All groups tend to go

midst as you gather. Ultimately, God

couple who would enjoy going out

through healthy attrition–the result

is your leader each step of the way.

or having a quiet dinner and then

of moves, releasing new leaders,

walking through this study. Jesus

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unique contribution, and develop

be a sensitive issue. We suggest

of providing a lesson or care for the children either in the same home or in another home nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common idea is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple, and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

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OUR VALUES GROUP ATTENDANCE

To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar on page ??? will minimize this issue.)

To provide a predictable environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

SAVE ENVIRONMENT

To help create a safe place where people can

RESPECT DIFFERENCES

To be gentle and gracious to people with

be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.)

different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or â&#x20AC;&#x153;imperfectionsâ&#x20AC;? in fellow group members. We are all works in progress.

CONFIDENTIALITY

To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group.

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR GROWTH

To be not just takers but givers of life. We

SHARED OWNERSHIP

To remember that every member is a minister

want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

and to ensure that each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time (See the Team Roles on pages ???-???.)

ROTATING HOSTS/ LEADERS AND HOMES

To encourage different people to host the group in their homes, and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the Group Calendar on page ???.)

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CALENDAR

Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done (before or after the meeting) on the phone, through an E-mail message, or even in person from time to time.

Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes and leaders, and don’t forget birthdays, socials, church events, holidays, and mission/ ministry projects. Go to www.lifetogether.com for an electronic copy of this form and other ideas for your group to do together.

LESSON

Monday, January 15

DESSERT/ MEAL

LEADER

Steve and Laura’s House

Joe

Bill

OUR PLANS

SPIRITUAL PARTNER’S NAME:

OUR PROGRESS

WEEK 6

WEEK 5

WEEK 4

WEEK 3

WEEK 2

WEEK 1

DATE

MY NAME:

HOST HOME

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PRAYER REQUESTS

PRAISE REPORTS

SESSION 1 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:19-20) SESSION 2 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” (Matthew 26:26) SESSION 3 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41) SESSION 4 “Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” (Matthew 28:10)

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If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you only have two to four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to join you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly pray for each other. A simple meal or good desserts always make a kickoff meeting more fun. After people introduce themselves and share how they ended up being at the meeting (you can play a game to see who has the wildest story!), have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions: “What is your favorite family vacation?” or “What is one thing you love about your church/our community?” P | 117

or “What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know?” Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study. You might want to review the Small Group Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities. Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about whom they could invite to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards and have everyone write an invitation or two. Don’t worry about ending up with too many people; you can always have one discussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson. Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session. P | 118

TEN COMMON LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCES. WELCOME TO LIFE OUT IN FRONT!

1 Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble. Remember who is in control; the time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those who are soft in heart (and sweaty palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through. 2 Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study will help you anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics. 3 Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study. P | 119

4 Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several times. If you are using the DVD, listen to the teaching segment and Leadership Lifter. Consider writing in a journal or fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to do. 5 Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare. 6 Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things you did well and one thing you could improve on. Don’t get defensive, but show an openness to learn and grow.

7 Use online resources. There are many notable small group leader blogs and resources available. 8 Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to happen over time. Not all Christians are called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few someday.

10 Prayerfully consider whom you would like to pass the baton to next week. It’s only fair. God is ready for the next member of your group to go on the faith journey you just traveled. Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest.

9 Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are fully his. Share your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate.

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TOP TEN IDEAS FOR NEW LEADERS

Congratulations! You have responded to the call to help shepherd Jesus’ flock. There are a few other tasks in the family of God that surpass the contribution you will be making. As you prepare to lead, whether it is one session or the entire series, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. We encourage you to read these and review them with each new discussion leader before he or she leads.

1 Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and He knew that you would be asked to lead your group. Remember that it is common for all good leaders to feel that they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah and Timothy - they all were reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, P | 121

you will be blessed as you serve. 2 Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership team. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call and ask people to help, you’ll be surprised at the response.

3 Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night! 4 Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion.

These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise employs one of the items in the Appendices, be

sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review “Outline for Each Session” so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study. 5 Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead! 6 When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question, and if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone P | 122

you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this break and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Looking for a wonderful means of worshiping as a group? Why not lead your group in sharing the Lord’s Supper? If you’ve never done this before, the idea certainly seems daunting, but here is a simple form by which your small group can share this ordinance of the church. Of course, churches vary in their treatment of Communion so you may need to adapt these suggestions to your church’s beliefs.

Steps in Serving Communion 1 Out of the context of your own experience, say something brief about God’s love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, commitment, tenderheartedness or faithfulness. Connect your words with the personal stories of the group. For example, “These past few weeks I’ve experienced God’s mercy in the way He untangled the situation with my son. And I’ve seen God show mercy to others of us here too, especially to Jean and P | 123

Roger.” If you prefer, you can write down ahead of time what you want to say. 2 Read 1 Corinthians 11:2326*: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever

3 Pray silently, and pass the bread around the circle. While the bread is being passed, you may want to reflect quietly, sing a simple praise song, or listen to a worship tape.

Here are some other good Communion passages: Matthew 26:26-29, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:14-20, 1 Corinthians 10:16-21 or 1 Corinthians 11:17-34.

4 When everyone has received the bread, remind them that this represents Jesus’ broken body on their behalf. Simply state, “Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us eat together,” and eat the break as a group. 5 Pray silently, and serve the cup. You may pass a small tray, serve people individually, or have them pick up a cup from the table. 6 When everyone has been served, remind them that the cup represents Jesus’ blood shed for them. Simply state, “The cup of the new covenant is Jesus Christ’s blood shed for you. Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us drink together.” Then drink the juice in a group. P | 124

responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time. 7 Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud. 8 Break up into small groups each week, or they won’t stay. If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather P | 125

sometimes in discussion circles of three or four people during the SERVE or GO sections of the study. With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from

each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests. 9 Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the Small Group Calendar to fill in the names of all meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10 One final challenge (for new or first time leaders):

efore your first B opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help equip yourself with a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting.

MATTHEW 9:36 1 PETER 5:2-4 PSALM 23 EZEKIEL 34:11-16 1 THESSALONIANS 2:7-8, 11-12 P | 126

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ABOUT LIFETOGETHER

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