Family system in islam

Family System In Islam By Dr.ZeenatKauther

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Islamon onSexuality) Sexuality,Reproduction Islam Reproduction and and Family System Family System PaperPresented Presentedto the Paper the InternationalConference ConferenceofNGOs International of NGOs Seoul,Korea Seoul) Korea 10-16October October1999 10-16 1999 By Dr. Zeenath Zeenath Kausar Kausar World Assembly ofMuslim youth" Youth, Assembly ofMrnlim (wAtvfY) (WAMY) Riyadh, Riyadh) Saudi Saudi Arabia Arabia

PREF PREFACE ACE As the the title tide of of the the paper paper suggest sugests, s, Dr. Zeenat Zeenath h Kausar Kausarhas has attemgted attemp ted to presen present the Islamic t the Islamic perspec perspective tive on sexualit se<uality, y, reproduction reprod uction and and family family system system. .

Family Family values values play play an an import imporant ant role rore from the Islamic Islamic point of of view. view. Islam Islam seeks seeks to create create durable durable bases bases for relation relationship ship within within the familr, family, which is is the buildin buildingg block of a society society. .

When when each each of these of gf theseblocks blocks is is firmly nrmlyilaced, placed, the " social social structu struch*e re of of the the society society rests rests on aa strong founda foundation. tion. Where wfhere the the cohesiv cohesive e bond gets gets diluted diluted, , the th; society societybegins beginsto tumble nrmble.

The Wester westem society present n society presents s aa glaring glaringexampleof example of this this phenom phenomenon. enon. The growin grovdng g numbe tt.t*b.r r of or singlerittgt.-parent parent families in the wake families wake of of rampant divorce divorces s has has"created created aa ""*p*t sihration situatio n in which uninhib uninhibited ited sex ro has has culmin culminated ated in the the outbrea outbreak k of ArDs and of AIDs and other sexually sexuallytransm transmitted itted disease diseases. s.

An import rmporant ant factor for the the breakd breakdown own of of marriag marriages es in the the West west is is the the fact fact that marital marial relation relations s in Wester sTestem n societie societies s are are govern govemed ed by materia material l conside considerations, rations, such such as as wealth, wealth' beauty fame. These These are are epheme ephemeral ral values values _beauty or fame. doome doomed d to self-ero self-erosion sion in the the course courseof time. When of time. when that that happens, happen s, the fragile relation the fragile relationship ship gets gets swerve swerved d and and the marriag marriage e ends endsin divorce divorce.

By contras contrasg t, marital marital ties ues in the the Muslim society society are are on firmer ground Furner ground.. Familie Families s seeking seeking alliance afriances s also also look for qdth aa strong moral charact partners partner s with character, er, among among other things. thirp. Thus Thus if if the the married married life of of aa couple couple become becomis s aa bit bumpy,, they bumpy they still still pull on for th~ the sake sakeof oittt.ir their childre children n to whom they owe az religiou religious s obligat obtigation ion to bring up - th.y owe properly. properl y.

wisdom from Let me me conclude conclude with with these these words words of ofwisdom from Cdiph Caliph I-et his divorcing on divorcing his wife. wife.

Omar. Once Once aa man man sought sought his his advice advice on Omar.

When Cdiph Caliph Omar Omar asked asked him him for for the the reason, reason, the the man man When with her." her." Whereupon, Whereupon, replied: "I'm "I'm no no more more in love with replied: Omar retorted: retorted: "Are families families built built upon love alone? alone?

Caliph Omar What about inter-family relationship relationship and the shared shared life \X/hat with their children?" children?" with

Dr. Maneh Maneh FI. H. Al-Johani Al-Johani Dr. Secretary General General Secretary of Muslim Youth CX/AlvfY) (WAMY) Assembly of World Assembly Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~ Saudi Arabia Riyadh,

ISLAM ON ISLAM ONSEXUALITY, SEXUALITY, REPRODUCTION REPRODUCTION AND AND FAMILY FAMILY SYSTEM SYSTEM Introduction: Introduction: Life an anIntegrated IntegratedWhole: Whole: 1.1.Life Islam, which which implies implies willing willing and Islam, to and complete completesubmission submission Allah to Allah completeway way of life embracing (tn"tl isis aa complete of life (swt) embracingall all aspects aspectsof life life including sexual, sexual,reproductive, reproductive, including marital maritaland familial. It underlines andfamilial. underlines two important importantpoints: points: two Firstly, Islam Islam perceives perceiveslife life as as an Firstly, an integrated integratedwhole wholeand andfor for this this reasonsexuality sexualityand and reproduction reproductionare reason partsof the areparts thewhole wholeIslamic Islamic systemof life, life, not not outside outsideit. it. system secondly, Islam Islam which which is is aa Divinely Divinely ordained Secondly, ordainedsystem systemof life, life, possesses injunctionsand and regulations regulationsin its the Qur'an and possesses injunctions its texts texts- the eur'an and the Prophetic Prophetic traditions traditions for for the of sexuality, sexuality, the the regulation regulation of reproductionand andall all that reproduction that are are related related to these. these.

Islamlc Tawhid integrates integrates all all aspects aspects of of life life.

Islamic philosophy philosophy of Tawhid Tawhid of God, God, unity unity of of the the prophets, prophets, unity unity of of life, life, Tawhid implies implies unity unity of unity of mankind, mankind, unity unity of of the the purpose purpose of of creation, creation, unity un,ity oi of unity of knowledge, knowledge, etc. etc. The The fundamental fundamental beliefs beliefs -i) no god god but Allah (swt) (swt) and and the the prophet Prophet Mohammad Mohammad i) That That there there is no (pbuh) is the the last last messenger messenger of ofAllah Allah (surt) (swt) for for the the whole whole mankind; mankind; (pbuh) is ii) ii) That That man's man's life life in in this this rvorrd world is is temporary temporary and and he/she he/she has has to to follow of rife life (Isllm) (Islam) in in all all aspects aspects to to be be follow Allah's Allah's ordained ordained way way of successful and~ successful here here and and in in Hereafter Hereafter and; iii) iii) That That with with Allah Allah rests rests all all the the final final judgements judgements of ofrewards rewards and and punishments all based based on on these these punishments in in the the akhirah akhirah (life, (life, hereaftei; hereafter) are are all unity, Unity, Tawhid.

Tawhid. Hence, Hence, questions questions on'sexuality' on 'sexuality' and'reproduction, and 'reproduction' are are also also anchored anchored on on the the Tawhidic Tawhidic paradigm. paradigm.

II. II.

Vicegerency -- PurPose Purpose of ofLife: Life: VicegerencY

The very very raison raison d'etre d'etre of ofman's man's creation creation according accordingto tothe the Qur'an Qur'an The The (swt).

Allah is the perfonnance of the vicegerency of Allah (swt).

The Qur'an Qur1an of is the peribrmance of the vicegerency says: says: Behold Thy Thy Lord Lord said said to to the the angels: angels: Behold will create create aa vicegerent vicegerent on on earth. earth.

II will Hence, any any thought thought and and activity activity of of man man in in Islam, Islam, be be that that sexual sexual or or Hence, purpose this to reproductive, rhould should be be ultimately ultimately related related to this purpose of of life life reproductiue, vicegerency of of Allah (swt) (swt). vicegerency Sexuality and ReProduction: Reproduction: Sexualifyand With this worldview, it is easier easier now of Islamicworldview, backgroundofIslamic this brief background reproduction. to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality and reproduction. and to look into the Islamictextson sexuality function man'sanimalistic animalisticfunction as man's Sexuality trivializedas is not not trivialized Islam is in Islam Sexuality in perceived is Sexuality fancy. and by his own whim and fancy.

Sexuality is perceived to be tackled to be tackled by his own whim and regulatedand be regulated life to to be man's life as parts of man's essentialparts the essential of the as one one of guidance. disciplined properguidance. theproper throughthe disciplinedthrough relationship sexualrelationship into sexual enterinto A canenter Islamcan in Islam woman in and aa woman A man man and 'sign'of Allah (swt) asaa 'sign' reckonedas of Allah (swt) only which isis reckoned marriage,which after marriage, only after says: and prophets', TheQur1an theprophets ', The waysof of the andthe theways Qur'ansays: youfrom from for you spouses createdspouses He created And for thatHe thisthat His Signs Signsisisthis amongHis And among them. with them. yourselves, that intranquility tranquilitywith dwellin yemay maydwell thatye yourselves, We andWe (OMohammad) you(0 Mohammad)and We before beforeyou messengers sentmessengers indeedsent We indeed assigned them wives and children. themwivesandchildren. assigned relationship maritalrelationship themarital basisof ofthe verybasis ItIt implies Islam,the thevery that inin Islam, impliesthat into can enter enterinto they can which they throughwhich between wife through andwife husbandand betweenhusband 'love'. Furthermore, (swt) implants Allah Furthermore, is 'love'.

Allah (swt) implants sexual relationship is relationship sexual 2

'love'ininhusband this this'love' and husband andwife wifetowards towardseach eachother otherso thatthey sothat theymay may live live inin peace peaceand . Such andharmony harmony. such an Islamic attitude an Islamic attitudetowards towards sexualit y goes sexuality goes entirely entirely against againstthe the mere mere lusty lusty cravings cravings in in man/wo man and man/woman and its itssatisfact ion through satisfaction throughlegitima legitimate te or orillegitim illegitimate ate ways. ways. In InIslam, Islam,itit isisthe 'love' and the'love' andthe thestrong strongcovenan covenant (nikah)that t (nikah) that 'force'or unite unite man man and andwoman womannot not 'force' or tempora temporary ry arrangem arrangements ents outside outsidemarriag e or marriage tion. For orcohabita cohabitation.

Forthis reason,all thisreason, alltypes typei of preof premarital marital and andextra extramarital maritalrelations relationships, hips, fornicati fornication, on, illicit illitit carnality "u*ality are are complet completely ely condem condemned ned isisIslam Islamand andman manis is ordained ordainednot nor go ro go to nearerto nearer to adultery adultery TheQur'an . The says: Qur'ansays: Nor come comenigh nighto Nor to adultery adultery Foritit isisaashamefu shameful (deed) For l (deed) And an anevil, evil,opening And openingthe theroad road (to other otherevils). evils). (to Islam thus thus makes Islam makes aa distincti distinction on between between sexuality sexuality that that is is constrained constrai and disciplin ned and disciprined ed through through marital maritar relations relationship hip and and sexuality, which transgre sexuality , which transgresses sses morality morarity and and spiritual spirituality ity and turns andturns animalism.

Islam does animalis m. Islam does not not overlook overlookthe the sexual sexuardrive drive in man man but but institutionalize institutio nalize it through through marriag marriage e ro to protect protect man man from prophetMoham immorality.

TheProphet immoral ity. The Mohammad mad (pbuh) (pbuh) said: said: young men! o young men! Those o Thoseamong among you you who who can can support support a wife should -ftor should marry for it restrains marry for restrains *y*r eyes from casting casting t.uir (evil grunces) glances) and and preserves preserves one one from from immorality. immorality.

Islam Islam is is quite quite sensitive sensitive in a[ all issues issues pertaining pertaining to to marriage marriage and and sexuality. sexuality. As As sexuarity sexuality outside outside maniage marriage is iilegTtim"i., illegitimate, *u.riug* marriage without without the the proper proper consent consent is is declared declared invar-id. invalid. The The rrophet Prophet Mohammad Mohammad (pbuh) (pbuh) said: said: 'A 'A widow widow shail shall not not be be married married until until she she be be consulted, consulted, nor nor shail shall aa virgin virgin be' be, married married until until her her consent consent be be asked; asked; and and that that aa woman woman rip^e ripe in in years years shail shall have have her her consenf consent asked asked i"in *--"g" marriage and and ififshe she refuses, refuses, she she shall shall not not be be married married by by force., force.'

Therefore, marriage marriage in Islam, Islam, unlike unlike radical radical feminism feminism is neither neither an an Therefore, her upon is thrust forced upon her as as a imprisonment woman that forced or for woman is thrust that imprisonment punishment nor enslavement enslavement that that makes makes her her subservient subservient to man. man. punishment Marriage is a covenant covenant of of faith faith and and consent consent and and a bond bond of of love love and and Marriage concern. concern.

Marital relationship relationship in Islam Islam is neither neither patnarchal patriarchal and and political political nor Marital economic and sexual sexual for its own sake sake as as against against the the common common economic and of gender gender feminists, feminists, but moral moral and and spiritual' spiritual. In fact, fact, perception of perception Islam since since husband husband husband each other other in Islam complementeach and wife complement husbandand provides security to his his wife and and his his children children sexualsecurity and sexual economicand provideseconomic and her chastity chastity and and her her husband's husband's possessions possessions as as guardsher his wife guards and his her The Qur'an Qur'an says: says: obligation The moralobligation. her moral Men protectors Men are arethe the protectors And women,because God And maintainers maintainersof becauseGod of women, Has (strength) giventhe more(strength) Hasgiven the ones onesmore Than the other, other, and and because because Thanthe They They support supportthem them From means From their their means Therefore women the righteous righteouswomen Thereforethe guard Are andguard Are devoutly devoutlyobedient obedientand In absence (thehusband's) absence In (the husband's) guard.

What themguard. havethem would have WhatGod Godwould anddo do eachother Islamcomplement complementeach otherand Thus, wife in Islam Thus, husband husbandand and wife They are friends and and are friends not andsupremacy. supremacy.They for domination dominationand not compete competefor Both Allah(swt). co-partners of Allah (8wt). Both in their co-venture-vicegerency co-partnersin their co-venture-vicegerency have other and and both both have enjoy duties towards towards each each other rights and and duties enjoy rights (swt). This is very in the This is very clearly clearly stated the obligations Allah (swt). stated in to Allah obligations to proclaimsequality in the equality in the very very creation creationqf Qur'anic verse which which proclaims of Qur'anicverse from aa single pointingout theircreation creationfrom singlesoul: soul: womaq pointing man manand andwoman, outtheir your Lord, your duty Lord, Who duty to your Who created created mankind, be consciousof your oO mankind, be conscious like nature, her mate, mate,and from you from nature,her andfrom from aa single you singlesoul, soul,created createdof like women;and mindful createdand manymen menand andbe be mindful the two two created spreadmany andwomen~ the andspread 4

of -your of your duty duty to to God God by

by Whose whosename nameyou youappeal appear to to one oneanother another andto and to (the (theties tiesot) of) womb. womb. Verily VerilyGod Godwatches witch.jouer over you. you.

Even if Even if the the sexual sexualsatisfact satisfaction ion isis perfonn performed ed by by man manand andwoman woman while being while being mindful mindful of of its itsetiquette etiqurtti as ur ordained ordainedin in the theQur'an and eur,anand sunnah, itit is Sunnah, is reckone reckoned d as as ibadah tbadnh and andsadaqah sadaqah(charity) (charity), . The The ProphetMoham Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)said: mad (pbuh) said.

Did Allah Did Allah not not make makefor you that for you thatfrom from which which you you can givesadaqa? cangive sadaqdl verily, every Verily, every time time you you say saySubhana suhhanaAllah, Alrah, there ihereis sadaqua_and is aJsadaqua-and for every everytime for time you you say sayAllahu Allahu Akbar Akbarthere thereis is aa sadaqa; sa*qa;Every time Every time you you say say Laa Laa ilaha irahaill iil Allah, Ailah, there thereis is aaiadaqaand sadaqa for t and for you sayAlhamdu every time Alhamdulillah, li/lah, there thereis is aa sadaqa; sadaqa; lurry time you say Every act Every act of enjoinin enjoining. g what what is is right right there thereis is sadaqa sacraqaand and in in every every act of forbidding act of forbiddi ng evil evil there there is is ai sadaqa. sadaqa, and and in in your sexual sexual fo.r, relationsalso relations alsothere thereis is aa sadaqa. sadaqa.

Thereupon Thereup the compan on the companions ions asked: asked:0o Messeng Messenger er of Allah!

Alrah!Is Is there there rewardfor for one aa reward oneof us us when whenhe he satisfies satisfieshis his sexual sexuardesire? desire?

The Prophet replied: replied:Don't Don't you you see, see,had had he satisfied ititwiththe hesatisfied with the Thg.lpptet forbidden forbidde would there n would there not not have haue 6een been aa sin upon him? sin upon him? The The companions compan said:"yes". ions said: "yes". r$ Prophet (pbuh) The said: In the the same same way, way, when when he he satisfies satisfies it froghet (pbuh) said: with the the lawful, lawful, there there is is for him him in that that a reward. reward.

Tlrus, Thus, sexuality sexuality is never never perceived perceived by Isram Islam as as a mere mere carnar carnal desire desire of of man man to be be fulfilled fulfilled in any any animalistic animalistic *uy.r way as tr* he ft"ur*r. pleases. eut But man man in Islam Islam is ordained ordained to folrow follow certain.tiq*tt. certain etiquette in his his se*uar sexual relationship relationship so so that that he he shourd should remember remember Allatr Allah trortl (swt) euen even uerore before this this act act and and do not not fall fall a prey prey to the the satanic;;ill Satanic trap. ihi, This can can be be easily easily gleaned gleaned tkough through a careful careful reading reading of of iew few prophetic Prophetic traditions, traditions, either either practiced practiced or spoken spoken by him him Jn on these these matters. matters.

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It is exhorted exhorted that that the the husband husband should should place place his his hand hand on the the of her her wife at the the time of of consummating consummating the the marriage marriage and and forelock of forelock pray for Allah's Allah's blessings. blessings. The The Prophet Prophet Mohammad Mohammad (pbuh) (pbuh) said: said: pray

of you you marries marries a woman woman he he should should hold hold her foreloch forelock, When any any of When O saying:0 mention Allah Allah most most high, high, and and pray pray for His His blessings blessings saying: mention Allah, I ask ask You for the the good good in her her and and the the good good with which You Allah, and her; and refuge in You from the the evil in her her and have created created her; seekrefuge and I seek have the evil with which which You have have created created her. her. the if desirableif Furthermore, according traditions, it is desirable other traditions, someother Furthermore, according to some show the husband husband presents presents to his his wife something something to drink to show the ever closely ever kindness to her her and prayer together together to remain remain closely kindness andto offer prayer (s.w.t) from the the evil. evil. It after good and refugein Allah (s.w.t) seekrefuge the good and seek after for the that it is is commendable commendableto is also traditionsthat from several severaltraditions evidencedfrom also evidenced 'wudhu' (ablution) obligatoryto make (ablution) after before sleep sleepbut obligatory sex before make 'wudhu' after sex possible. take sleepwhenever wheneverpossible. after sleep bath after after sex before or after take bath sexbefore that sexuality senrality in It is quite obvious discussion that is quite the above above discussion obvious from the perceived as Islam neither perceived as an an objective of life to be be totally Islam is neither objective of moral and immersed no other other moral and spiritual spiritual considerations considerationsnor immersedin it with no meanfor its own aa beastly way and beastlyact act to be throu,ghany any way and mean be fulfilled throu,~ manand from sake.

Islamdisciplines disciplinessexual sexualdesire desireof man andalso alsoexpects expectsfrom sake. Islam (swt) even Allah (swt) rememberAllah evenwhile while joining his his him him that he should should remember that he (sw) to protect pray to Allah (swt) protecthis wife for sex andeven his child evenpray child from sexand granted aa child is clear evil, evil, if if he he is granted after the the sex. sex. It is from the the child after clear from prayerand following prayer andthe the Prophetic Prophetictradition: tradition: the name name of Allah, Allah! Keep Keepus In the Allah, 0O Allah! us away awayfrom the the devil, devil, and and keep the the devil devil away from that that which grant us keep away from which You may may grant us (offspring). (offspring).

The TheProphet ProphetMohammad (pbuh)said: Mohammad(pbuh) said: After that, that, if Allah Allah decrees After decreesthat that they haveaa child, theywill have child,the the devil devil will never neverbe be able ableto harmthat to harm that child. child.

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impliesthat alsoimplies Islamnot ItIt also thatIslam notonly onlyenjoins enjoinsman manto to remember rememberAllah Allah (swt) before beforehis sexualrelationship relationship (swt) but hissexual butalso alsomakes makeshim himconscious conscious of his his responsibility responsibilitytowards of child towardshis prospective hisprospective protecthim chirdto to protect him fromthe thecunning cunningSatan.

Satan. from Family: Parents ParentsObligations ObligationsTowards Family: TowardsChildren Children sexuality, reproduction reproduction and Sexuality, and children's children's responsibility responsibility are are interconnected in Islam Islam through interconnected in throughan institution,family. aninstitution, family. Family Familyis is consideredas as the frrstschool the first considered schoolof of children childrenwhere wherethey theyare arenot not only only nurtured but but also also taught taught basic nurtured basic morals morals and and etiquette etiquette so sothat that the the childrencan can appreciate appreciate children Islamic Islamicethos ethosand andvalues. values.A stable stabrefamily family will give give rise rise to to aa stable stablesociety will societyand andaa stable stablecivilization. civilization. All this this requiresthat that both parentsand both parents requires childrenshould andchildren shouldbe be mindful mindful of their their obligationstowards towards each eachother obligations otheralong alongwith with their their rights rightsso sothat that they they may love love and and respect respecteach each other. may other. Islam Islam enjoins enjoinsits its adherents adherentsto love children children and and to to be be mindful mindful of their love towards their responsibilities responsibilities towards them from the thevery verybeginning beginningof their them from their inception inceptionand andeven evenearlier earlierto it. The TheQur'an says: it.

Qur'ansays: And be be mindful mindfulof your your duty duty to God And whose name name you you appeal appeal God in whose to one oneanother anotherand andto the the ties ties of the womb. womb. to of the Islam emphasizes emphasizes that Thus, that parents parents should realize that the proper proper should realizethat Jhus, Islam 'from development development of of the the child child begins begins 'from the the mother's mother's womb itself. itself FI:l* Hence the the parents parents should should be concerned concerned about about their prospective prospective child child from from the the very very beginning. beginning.

It It has has been been scientifically scientifically proved proved that a pregnant pregnant woman woman should should abstain abstain from from alcoholic alcoholic drinks drinks and and narcotics narcotics and and avoid avoid tensions. tensions. IfIf she she fails fails to to consider consider alr all these these precautionary precautionary measures, measures, any any complication complication in in her her own own health health andthat and that of ofthe the child in in the the wom6 womb can "iito can hardly hardly be be prevent:d prevented. ftIt is is also also pointed pointed out out that that the relationship relationship the between the prospective prospective father father should should between the the prospective prospective moth*r mother and the not advers*ty not be be conflict-ridden conflict-ridden because because itit"nd adversely uiT*rt, affects the the mental mental and and 7

lly the eventually tive mother and eventua mother and prospective the prospec l health heatth of the physical physica verse quoted verse above quoted the through the above Islam through Islam child. child. tive prospective prospec of mindful be of their parentsshould shouldbe that parents clear that makesit clear cally makes emphati empiratically n. inceptio very the inception' from the children their children towardstheir duties dutlestowards physical the physical of the care of take care s not not only to take believers ds its believer commands Islam comman Islam and moral nal, educatio moral and also their educational, children but also their children of their ing of upbringing upbring says: Qur'an The says: ment. The Qur'an development. spiritual spiritual develop and your wives es and yourselves protectyourselv strive to protect believe! Strive you who believe! you who fire. the fire. and children from the andchildren

o o

from the fire is by ng children children frol protecting way of protecti ly, the best way Obvious the best obviously, lhe the than the More than proper training. training' .More n and and proper e educatio education adequate providin providinig adequat n education educatio best best require require children , children property, materialproperty thi material wealth and the wealth and Prophet Prophet The The r.

Hereafter.

Hereafte the in the and ind here heie success real success for their real said: (Pbuh)said: mad (pbuh) Moham Mohammad good their good best is their the best childrenthe his children give to his cangive father can Of all that aa father all that . trainingtraining and n and educatio education facing Ummah is facing Muslim Ummah where Muslim age, where orary age, contemporary In the the contemp tradition tradition ic Prophetic Prophet above above the the es, challeng challenges, ual intellectual intellect es of multitud multitudes fed with mentally well fed are mentally childrenare Unless children focus. Unless gleater focus. needs ;."dr greater ble to susceptible suscepti easily easily become they become skills, they and skills, education and proper"education proper w's tomorrow's tomorro are are children children Today's Today's s. lifestyles. lifestyle and culture and alien alien culture Islamic of Islamic of prospects ts prospec future future the the of on foundation foundati strong strong The The future. future. foundation nal foundation educational strongeducatio on strong dependson ion depends civilization and civilizat culture culture and acquainted acquainted well be to be them them for ry necessary necessa deems . It deems children. the children of the ensive comprehensive compreh the the as as Islam Islam as, as, well well as as es, ideologies, ideologi t dominant dominan the of the future the future modelsin the role models the role be the they should shouldbe sothat thatthey systemof life so system The The . mankind' mankind s vis-a-vi vis-a-vis ibility responsibility 's respons Ummah's the Ummah careof the takecare to take to their their (sovt) for (swt) Allah to pray pray to ts its adherents adheren its teaches Qur'an Qu/an teaches ns-. aspirations-' theseaspiratio childrenwith these children

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My Lord Lordmake makeme My prayerand mekeep keepprayer (also)let and(also) letmy myoffspring offspring(do (doso) so) Our Lord Lord accept acceptmy Our my appeal! appeal! Our OurLord, Lord,forgive forgivemy parentsand myparents and me. me. our Lord!

Lordl Grant Grant us Our and usininour ourspouses spouses andour ouroffspring offspringthe thecomfort comfort ofour oureyes eyesand andmake makeus of usaamodel modelfor forthe theneedful. needful. alsoimplies impliesthat that Islam Islam completely ItIt also completelyrejects rejectsthe perceptionof the perception of those who who look look to to women women and those and children children as as burden burdenor or as as an an oppressed class. In In fact, fact,Islam oppressed class.

Islaminspires inspiresmen mento to look look at attheir theirwives wives and children childrenas asthe thecomforters and comfortersof of their theireyes, eyes,as astheir theirsource sourceofjoy, ofjoy, peaceand and solace solaceand and not notaa suppressed peace and class suppressed andoppressed oppressed classto to be be dominatedand andover-powered. over-powered.Man's dominated Man'sdomination dominationand andsuppression suppression of woman woman and and children childrengo go against of againstthe thevery veryspirit spiritof Islam, Islam,which which 'commandis only for assertsthat that 'command is only for Allah', asserts Allah',not not for for man. man. The Thetime time 'thereis when aa child child is is born, born,the theIslamic Islamicclarion when clarioncall calrthat that 'there god is no no god but Allah' Allah' is is conveyed conveyedinto into his hisears, but ears,which which implies impliesthat that he he should should submit to to none nonesave saveAllah.

Allah. Besides, Besides,it is submit is also arsoevident evidentfrom from one oneof prophet's (pbuh) the traditions traditions that that whenever wheneveraa child the child in the the Prophet's (pbuh) prophet (pbuh) householdbegins beginsto speak, speak,the household thought him him the the the Prophet (pbuh)thought second verse verse of Surah surah al-Furqan al-Furqanwhich second gives the the message message of of which gives Allah's Sovereignty Sovereignty and and the Allah's the Unity Unity of of God God (Tawhid).

(Tawhid). The The translation its verse verse is as as follows: follows: translatioJ:l of its He He to Whom Whom belongs belongs The The dominion dominion of of the the heavens heavens And no son son And the the earthearth- no Has Has He begotten, begotten, nor Has Has He A dominion A partner partner in His dominion It It is is He He Who created created All All things, things, and and ordered ordered them them In In due due proportions. proportions. so So from from the the very very beginning, beginning, Islam Islam emphasizes emphasizes that that children children should should be be ingrained ingrained with with the the Tawhidic Tawhidic message message and and that that they they should should willingly willingly submit submit to to none none but but Ailah.

Allah. ItIt dols does not not however however mean mean that that 9

they not. expected parentsrather they are are not expected to to obey obey their ratherIslam Islam enjoins enjoins their parents children goodto parentswhich childrento to be be good later. to their their parents which shall shall be be discussed discussedlater.

Islam parents,mother Islam also also encourages encouragesthat that both both parents, mother and father should and father should express expresstheir their utmost utmost love love to give them to their their children, children, give play them time, time, play with with them them and and cheer cheer them them up up through through many many ways of interaction of interaction with with them. them. It It is is reported reported that (may Allah be that Hadrat Hadrat Amir Amir (may pleased be pleased with with him) him) who who held held aa high position in high position government during the in the the government the reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be reign of Hadrat Umar (may pleased with him) once be pleased once visited the the house houseof (may Allah be visited of Hadrat Hadrat Umar Umar (may pleasedwith him) be pleased was surprised and was surprised to and to see seethat that few children had had mounted mounted the chest chest of Caliph Caliph and and were were engaged of engagedin playing. Seeing Seeing the astonishment astonishment Amir (may (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired of of Amir be pleased enquired his treatment about his about treatment to his his children? children? Upon this, this, he he replied: replied: "Amir "Amir ul-Mu'minin, as ul-Mu'minin, as soon soon as as I enter enter my house house the people people of of my household are are struck with terror and household and stand stand dumb with with fear. fear. On hearing this, this, the Caliph said: hearing with said: "Amir "Amir (may Allah Allah be pleased pleased with are a follower follower of you) you are of the the Holy Holy Prophet (peace (peace and and blessings blessings be upon him) and and yet are are ignorant of be of the important injunction that Muslim should should behave a Muslim members with with behave towards his family familv members extreme love and and deep deep tenderness. extreme tenderness."

It explicitly explicitly reveals reveals that Islam is completely against It against the despotic and tyrannical attitude of of father and and male members members of of the family family and over wives and and children. Islam expects expects from man a gentlemanly behavior not harsh harsh approach approach towards his family. family. The prophet Prophet said: (pbuh) said: The The best best of of you is he who who is the best to his family, family, and II am the the best best to my family.

The The relationship relationship between man and woman woman in in Islam Islam is not not therefore therefore the of master and servant but but that that of of garments garments to to each the relationship relationship of other other and and also also protecting protecting friends friends of of one another. The The eur'an Qur'an says: says: They They are are garments garments for for you you and you you are garments garments for for them. them. l0 10

Thus the Thus very basis family in in Islam Islamare faith, love, love, concern concernand the very arefaith, basisof family and groundfor care care for each eachother that it turns turns out be aa civilizing ground other so so that out to be peaceand children. children. Husband Husbandand love with each and wife who who live in peace and love each other can other can concentrate concentratewell over over their their children children and andcan can bring bring them them up with moral moral excellence, up excellence,best besteducation educationand and spiritual spiritual orientation. orientation. potentialities Such children children would would not not only Such only contribute contributetheir their potentialities towards the the construction constructionof society remainas towards societyin future, future, but but will remain as aa parentseven blessinglur ;br their blessing parents. their parents even after after the the death death of their their parents.

Parentsof such suchchildren childrenwill continue Parents continueto enjoy enjoythe the rewards rewardsof their their best education educationand best andtraining, training,which which they they imparted impartedto their their children. children. (pbuh)said-.

TheProphet Prophet(pbuh) The said-.

The actions actionsof of man man cease ceasewith his The his death. thereare death. But there arethree threedeeds deeds whose reward rewardand whose and blessing blessingcontinue continueto reach reachhim even evenafter after death. death.

One that that he he should (recurring charity); jariah (recurring One should make make aa sadaqa sadaqajariah charity); Secondly,he he should leave behind Secondly, should leave behind aa legacy legacy of knowledge knowledgefrom from people may which people may continue which continueto derive derive benefit; benefit; Thirdly, Thirdly, pious pious offspringwho who continuously offspring continuouslyinvoke invokemercy mercyof Allah upon of Allah upon him. him. (svw)bestow parents.

Children Children are are the the blessings which Allah Allah (swt) bestowto parents. blessingswhich properly,they But if if these these children children are are not not educated educatedand andtrained trainedproperly, they parentsand become become nuisance nuisanceto the society. Whereas, Whereas,if if the the parents andthe the society. the children children are are adequately adequatelyeducated educated and andtrained, trained,they they shall shall become become Islamic mission, mission, transmitters Islamicculture bearers bearersof Islamic in the transmittersof Islamic culturein the parents. society societyand andalso alsobest bestrewards rewardsfor their their deceased deceasedparents. forbidsabortion Islam Islamforbids infanticide.The The Qur'an abortionand andinfanticide. says.

Qur'ansays: your children poverty. We not your fearingpoverty. providefor them Slay Slay not childrenfearing We shall shallprovide them you. Lo! for you.

Lo! The The slaying greatsin. and andfor slayingof them themis is great sin.

Those who who kill their Those their children children out out of their foolishnessare their foolishness are the the greatestlosers. greatest losers.

11

as Thus, andinfanticide infanticideare areall consideredas Thus, abortions, abortions,child-abuse child-abuseand all considered natureis is against cruelty heinous heinous sins Isiam. Islam Islam by its very very nature againstcruelty sins in lsiam. by its plasticor loop, shield, and shield,plastic and barbarity. barbarity. Any use use of of contraception contraceptionloop, is done anything cause abortion is forbidden. forbidden. Even Even if if abortion anything to cause abortion is abortion is done going to fertilizedovum in seven seven days, days,it is is unlawful, unlawful, since sincethe the fertilized ovum is going human being. being. However, be be aa human However, only is only on on one onecondition conditionabortion abortionis savethe mother. allowed allowed -- to save the life of of the the mother. is not not against against point out here that It is important to point that Islam Islam is out here is also also important if instance, if technology, technology. For instance, but misuse misuse of technology. technology, but lessensome their mothers to lessen technological some of their devices help help mothers technological devices prenatalperiod periodand Islamhas hasno no complications andchildbirth, childbirth Islam during prenatal complicationsduring objection. discoveredand and But, if if the technological devices devicesare arediscovered the technological objection. But, if havebabies used let unmarried teenage girls to have babiesif unmarried women women or teenage used to let if such such they it. Similarly, wish to, to, Islam Islam strongly objects it.

Similarly, if strongly objects they wish which unmarried unmarried contraceptive invented through through which contraceptive devices devices are are invented girls can relationshipswithout women without teenagegirls canengage engagein sexual sexualrelationships women or teenage pregnant,Islam becoming Likewise,Islam Islam Islam rejects rejectsit completely. completely.Likewise, becoming pregnant, produce condemn high-tech reproductive reproductive aids aids developed developed to produce conderr.n high-tech artificial mothers,fathers fathers and aswell well as, artificial mothers, and children, children,as as,technological technological ways engage meansthrough lesbiansand way$ and andmeans throughwhich which lesbians andhomosexuals homosexuals engage get children. in their their deviant deviant sexuality fact, Islam Islamis is totally sexuality to get children. In fact, totally against all deviant deviantforms The Qur'an againstall formsof sexuality. sexuality.The says: Qur'ansays: you really your lusts reallyapproach Would menin your lustsrather Would you ratherthan thanwomen? women? approachmen (grossly)ignorant. ye are people(grossly) Nay, Nay, ye areaa people ignorant.

Islam, no no doubt doubt encourages Islam, man to beget encouragesman begetchildren, children,but but through through rightful rightful mean meannot not by by unlawful unlawful act.

The Qur1an pointsout act. The how one out how one Qur'anpoints Prophets Hadhrat (peacebe the Prophets Hadhrat Zakaria of the Zakaia (peace prayedto be upon upon him) him) prayed (swt) for the Allah (swt) piousoffspring Allah the pious offspringeven evenin aa very very old old age: age: Lord! Bestow Bestow upon me by goodlyoffspring Lord! upon me Thy bounty

by Thy bountygoodly offspring- Lo! Lol Thou art art the the Hearer Hearerof prayer. prayer.

Thou

12 12

'invitrofertilization' As far farasasthe the'invitro fertilization' (IVF)and As (IYF) are andtest testtube tubebabies babies are concerned, Islamallows allowsonly only ififthe 'ova' comes from concerned, Islam the'ova'comes fromthe mother themother 'sperm'from andthe the'sperm' fromthe thefather into and fatherand andthe theembryo embryoisistransferred transferred into theuterus uterusof of one's one'sown own wife. wife. Any of 'invitro' the Any other otherusage usage ofthe the'invitro' fertilization'by byany anywoman womanor fertilization' orman manwho whoare arenot notmarried marriedwith witheach each otherbut but would wouldlike liketotofollow followthis other in thistechnology technologyisisnot notacceptable acceptable in Islam.

Islam.

Islamicstance stanceon on artificial artificial insemination inseminationisis also Islamic also quite quite clear. clear.ItIt forbidsthe the use useof of the the sperm spermof forbids of anyone anyoneother other than thin that that of of the the husbandto to be beused usedin inthe process theprocess husband of of artificial artificialinsemination. insemination.Such such an act act tantamount tantamountto to adultery, adultery,from an since fromIslamic Islamicperspective, perspective, sinceitit fallsoutside outside themartial martialunion of man falls the union of manand andwoman. woman. parents: Obligationsof of Children ChildrenTowards Towardstheir Obligations their Parents: There is is aa reciprocity reciprocityof rights rightsand andduties There dutiesin in Islam.

Islam. While while parents parenrs are enjoined enjoinedto to be be mindful mindful of their are their children children for their their overall overall development, childrenare arealso alsoexhorted exhortedto be development, children kind to be obedient obedientand andkind theirparents. parents. their Both parents parentsand andchildren childrenhave Both have corresponding corresponding duties duties towards towards each each other along along with their other their rights. rights. There There are are several several eur'anic Qur'anic verses verses and of light on the the and Prophetic Prophetic traditions traditions which which tkow throw abundance abundance irtigtt etiquette of children children towards towards their their parents. parents. The The eur'an Qur'an saiys: says: etiquette of Thy Thy Lord Lord hath hath decreed decreed that that ye ye worship worship none none save save Him Him and and (that (that ye ye show) show) kindness kindness to to parents. parents.

Islam Islam thus thus ordained ordained children children to to be be kind kind and and grateful grateful to to his his parents. parents.

Good is even even regarded regarded as as aa key key to to Good conduct conduct towards towards parents parents is paradise. paradise. The The Prophet Prophet (pbuh) (pbuh) said: said: Your Your entry entry into into Paradise Paradise or or Hell Hell depends depends on on your yourgood goodor orbad bad conduct conduct towards towards your your parents. parents.

13

(pbuh) also Another Another tradition Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the tradition of highlights the of the the Prophet parentsby necessity of fair fair treatment necessity of treatmentto to parents by children: children: man be Let that that man again and Let be disgraced, and disgraced disgracedagain let him him be be disgraced,and andlet peopleEnquired: disgracedeven even more.

Enquired:"0 disgraced more. The The people Prophetof God of God "O Prophet (pbuh) who who is is that (pbuh) Prophetaffirmed: man that man? man? The The Prophet affrrmed:"l refer to the the man "I refer parentsold who finds finds his his parents in age themor one who old in age-- both bothof them them oneof them yet did and and yet did not not earn good earn entitlement entitlement to to Paradise Paradiseby by rendering renderinggood serviceto to them. them. service pertinentto seemsalso alsopertinent point out It seems herethat to point out here that although althoughchildren childrenare are exhorted to be parents, aa greater greater be obedient exhorted obedient and and kind kind to to both both parents, given for is given emphasis is for more more better emphasis better treatment treatmentand and devotion devotion to mother. This This is is obviously greatersacrifices mother. obviously because becauseof her hergreater and sacrificesand sufferingsfor children. children. The The Qur'an sufferings says: says: Qur'an And We We have havecommanded commandedunto mankindness parentsHis And unto man kindnesstowards towardsparents His mother beareth beareth him him with suffering mother sufferingbringing bringing forth forth with suffering, suffering, bearinghim him and andweaning weaningof him bearing him in thirty thirty months. months.

This is is also alsoillustrated illustratedthrough This throughvarious vruiousProphetic Prophetictraditions: traditions: enjoinman man about abouthis his mother. mother.

I enjoin enjoinman man about abouthis I enjoin his mother. mother.

I enjoin enjoinman abouthis man about his mother. mother. enjoinman abouthis I enjoin man about his father. father.

Thus Islam is not not discarded discarded as as a burden, burden, a Thus motherhood motherhood in Islam stumbling of oppression oppression stumbling block block for woman's woman's development, development, a source source of and and suppression. suppression. It is is looked looked upon upon with respect respect and and honor honor and al)d is is considered considered as as a blessing blessing from from Allah (swt) (swt) to man. man. Motherly Motherly affection affection and and care care deems deems indispensable indispensable for the the proper proper upbringing upbringing of of children children along along with father's father's affection affection and and concern. concern. Motherhood Motherhood is regarded as an an essential essential institution institution for human human civilization. civilization. regarded as

14

As discussed discussed greatimportance above,Islam Islamattaches attachesgreat importanceto As above, to the themutual mutual Iove and and concern concern for for each otherin inthe love eachother family. As thefamily.

As father fatherisisasked asked prayto (swt)to to pray to Allah Allah(swt) to bring bringin in his hiswife to wife and childrencomfort andchildren comfortfor for his eyes, eyes, children childrenare exhortedto glancesof are exhorted his to show show glances love and of love and parents.The devotionto to parents. (pbuh)said: TheProphet Prophet(pbuh) devotion said: pious offspring offspring who "The pious who castes liThe castesaa single singlelook look of of affection affectionat at his his parentsreceives receivesaa reward reward from from God parents God equal equal to to the thereward rewardof of an an acceptedHajj.1I Hajj." The peoplesubmitted: Thepeople accepted submitted:110 Prophetof (peace of Allah Allah (peace "O Prophet you),if be upon uponyou), if someone someone castsaa hundred glancesof be casts hundredsuch suchglances of love loveand and affection at parents,what at his his parents, affection what then?1I then?"The TheProphet Prophetreplied: replied:IIYes, "yes, indeed,even even if if one one does does so indeed, so aa hundred hundredtime timeaa day, getaa day,he hewill get hundred fold fold reward. reward. God greaterthan is far far greater Godis you imagine hundred thanyou imagineand andis is completelyfree freefrom from petty pettynarrow narrowmindedness. completely mindedness.

Childrenare arealso alsoexhorted exhortedto pray for their to pray parents; Children their parents: O, our our Lord!

Lord! Grant Grantforgiveness forgivenessto my parentsand 0, my parents andme me and pardon and pardon faithful on all the the faithful on the the Day Day of Reckoning.

Reckoning.

Few Observations Observationson on the Above Discussion: the Above Few Discussion: sexuality,reproduction 1. reproduction and and parents parents and and children children relationship relationship in I Sexuality, the the family family are are all perceived perceived in Islam Islam as as natural natural and and essential essential aspects aspects of of man's man's life and and are are not not separated separated from from the the whole whole Tawhidic of life and and thought. thought. Man is always always reminded reminded Tawhidic framework framework of to be of Allah's Allah's guidance guidance all through through these these relationships relationships be mindful mindful of whether whether sexual sexual or parental. parental.

22. sexuality Sexuality and and reproduction reproduction outside outside marriage marriage are are rejected rejected downright downright and and considered considered unlawful, unlawful, no matter matter all technological technological devices devices make make them them possible possible outside outside marriage. marriage.

A loving, loving, devoted, devoted, peaceful peaceful and and harmonious harmonious relationship relationship I3. A between and wife wife is is greatly greatly emphasized. emphasized. Man,s Man's between husband husband and domination and woman's woman's subservience subservience to to man man are are completely completely domination and l15 5

rejected. Men Men and and women women complement complement each each other other and and not not rejected. compete against against each each other. other. Islamic Islamic family family system system is is neither neither compete patriarchal nor nor matriarchal, matriarchal, rather rather consultational, consultational, shura-based. shura-based. patriarchal 4. An An affectionate, affectionate, cordial, cordial, intimate intimate and and aa deeper deeper relationship relationship 4. between parents parents and and children children is is strongly strongly upheld upheld in in Islam.

Islam. A A stable stable between of caring caring parents parents and and devoted devoted children children is is expected expected for for aa family of family better society society and a healthier healthier civilization. civilization. better

Conclusion: Conclusion: We cannot cannot afficrd afford to be complacent complacent and and take comfort in the Islamic We husband of sexuality, reproduction, husband and and wife relationship relationship theories reproductioq theories of senrality, and parents parents and and childrtn children relationship relationship which are are based based on the and Qur'anic injunctions injunctions and and Prophetic Prophetic traditions traditions unless unless we see see these these Qu/anic theories are put into practice. theoriesare Practice. patterns relationshippatterns the relationship that the For instance, out that generallyfound found out instance,it is generally even pafents and children between husband and wife and between parents and children even between and between husbandand there Broadly there not satisfactory. satisfactory. Broadly in some alsonot are also societiesare some Muslim societies are problems: threeproblems: arethree and women and towards women attitude towards 1.L Men keep aa despotic despotic attitude to keep tend to Men tend male the male gapbetween betweenthe children. communication gap is aa big communication There is children. There womenonly only from women Men expect expectfrom members children. Men andchildren. femalesand andfemales membersand Exchange care. and children of cooking, cleaning and children care.

Exchange familial service cleaning cooking, familial serviceof world, of of outsideworld, theoutside problem of of the of any problem ideas on on any and ideas thoughts and of thoughts almost field isis almost other field of any any other Muslim or of intellectual or of intellectual Ummah, of Muslim Ummah, and fearfuland environment,aafearful caringenvironment, absent. loving and andcaring of aa loving Insteadof absent. Instead menusually usually becausemen housebecause tensed prevailsin in the the house environmentprevails tensedenvironment their markof of their as aa mark children as maintain and children from women women and distancefrom maintain distance to be be turnsto eventurns honorsometimes sometimeseven artificial This sort of honor sort of honor. This artificial honor. of all sorts distorts and all sorts of horrific among other family members and distorts members family other horrific among as injunctionsas Islamic injunctions goesagainst againstIslamic relationships.

Although itit goes relationships. Although to itit haloisisattached attached religioushalo to described even evenaareligious sometimes above, sometimes describedabove, l6 16

for which which reason reason women women and andchildren for children could could hardly hardly express express themselves and becomevictims victimsof ofhorror. horror. themselves and become ln some somecases, cases,women women are arealone 2.z- In aloneexpected expectedto totake takeover overall allthe the responsibilities of children children and and men men completely responsibilities of completelyexempt exemptfrom fromit.it.

For the thebetter bettereducational educationalupbringing upbringingof For both ofchildren, chi-ldren, bottrmother motherand and father require require to play their to play their important important roles. father roles. In In those thosefamilies families where women women are are hardly hardly educated, educated,itit becomes where becomesall all the the more more problematic for children childrento getproper to get propereducational problematic for educationalfeedback. feedback. whereas in in some some cases, cases,where where both parentsare both parents Whereas are educated educatedand and working, again again children childrenbecome becomethe thevictims victims since working, sincethey theydo do not notget get proper attention attention from from their their parents. parents.Men proper Men claim claim that thatthey ihey are aretoo too busy and andwomen womenblame blamemen menfor for non-eo-operation non-co-operationin busy in house-chores house-chores and claim claim that that they they are areover-burdened over-burdenedwith double and doubleworkload workloadand and tend to to neglect neglectchildren. children. Children children feel feel that tend that they they are arealienated alienatedfrom from parents. both parents. both 3. Due Due to lack lack of of mutual mutualunderstanding understandingand 3. and confidence confidenceon on each each otheq the the relationships relationships between between husband husband and other, and wife grows grows tensed tensed and sometimes sometimesgives givesrise rise to divorce. divorce. Children parents and children of of divorced divorcedparents turn tum out out to to be be aggressive aggressive and and anti-social. anti-social.

17

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IE 18

i-;rTlpt-6r p),lzlt.-i