the system is broken

Nolan Anderson

the system is broken

March 25, 2022

"The system is broken," says local student council member Nolan Anderson. “I’ve been at BCIT 3 terms now. I work hard every day. My grades are good, I’m a student leader, I’m excelling in a difficult program."

Nolan was found outside SE3 looking longingly into the distance. ”I take care of myself. I go to the gym when I can, despite my workload. I eat well, too. My vegetables-to-instant-noodles ratio is pretty good. Despite all of this, I haven’t seen a single post about myself on ‘BCIT Crushes.’"

BCIT Crushes is the well-known anonymous Facebook group where BCIT students can proclaim their love for one another anonymously. We investigated the post history and found that Nolan was right. There wasn’t a single post there mentioning his name. "COVID has just taken so much from us already. I’m handsome," he assured us. "If nobody has posted anything about me in the year and a half that I’ve been a student, it must be because of this global pandemic thing going around."

To resolve this issue, Nolan sought support from Amy Smith, the career specialist for the school of computing. “I try to make myself available for student concerns and grievances, but this isn’t the kind of counselling I do,” said Amy in her statement. “He’s taking this weirdly personally.”

Nolan told us that he checks the page weekly now. "I’ve told lots of people about the group. At first, I thought that it was just an inactive group, but then recent posts started appearing. Somebody is managing the page and I’m not included in any of the posts. That can’t be right." Later, Nolan was found outside of BCIT’s Respect, Diversity, and Inclusion (RDI) office. "I tried to join ‘Women in Computing,’ but they wouldn’t have me for some reason. BCIT is fundamentally broken, and I’m going to fix it. I knew when I entered a program about software development that there wouldn’t be many girls in my program, but this is ridiculous. We need to implement women-quotas in our program ASAP. For representation,” he said with a wink.

Satire