An Insect Tale for the Ages

et -- but not just your regular, everyday, run-of-the-mill cricket. It was a megacricket. A mammoth cricket. It was... Bugzilla.

I recalled seeing one of these in my basement once in our old house in the suburbs and calling the National Guard. That one didn’t just jump. It got up on its back legs and told me to bug off. Our washing machine was in the basement, and I decided, right then and there, that our days of clean underwear were over.

Meanwhile, back at our new house, I didn’t know if Bugzilla had followed me here or if this was a cousin looking to overthrow our new domain. My bigger concern, however, was not this one Cave Cricket, as they’re called. It was whether he had brought the entire extended family in his quest to rule our kingdom.

“Honey,” I said into the phone to my husband. “We have a giant cricket in the house.”

“We live in the country now,” he said. “There are more bugs here.”

“OUTSIDE,” I yelled. “The bugs belong OUTSIDE!”

“Well, I don’t speak bug so I can’t tell them that,” he said.

I hung up the phone and looked around, but Bugzilla was gone. This was bad news. The only thing worse than seeing a giant bug is seeing a giant bug and then having it disappear and show up later, somewhere else in the house, when you least expect it. Kind of like when your mother-in-law visits.

I grabbed a fly swatter, which is kind of like bringing a water pistol to a duel, and went back to the scene of the crime, but there was no cricket. I searched the next room. NO cricket. I searched the entire floor. No cricket. At this point I decided there was only one thing to do.

An hour later my husband came home. I greeted him at the door with my suitcase.

“Did you get rid of the cricket?” he asked.

“No.”

“Do you know where the cricket is?” he asked.

“No,” I replied.

He looked at my suitcase.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I said. “I’m bugging out.”

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, “Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble,” available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www. tracybeckerman.com.

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Dessert is as easy as apple pie

Grandma’s Apple Pie

where in the Americas. But this beloved dessert actually traces its origins to Europe. In fact, apples aren’t even native to North America, according to experts.

this apple-filled pastry had cemented itself in popular cuisine, and has since been replicated and reimagined in more ways than one might imagine.

The phrase “as American as apple pie” may lead one to believe that this classic dessert originated some -

Servings: 8 slices

Apple pie is categorized alongside baseball and CocaCola® as truly American, but even though it was brought over to the colonies with settlers, it wasn’t until the 20th century that the treat was established as a symbol of national pride. By then,

Double crust pie pastry (see note below)

1 large egg, beaten 6 to 7 cups apples, peeled and sliced, about 2 lbs

1. Preheat oven to 425 F.

2. Peel apples and cut in quarters. Remove the core and slice apples into 1⁄4-inch to 1⁄8-inch thick.

3. In a large bowl, combine apples, lemon juice, sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Toss well to combine and set aside.

4. Roll half of the dough into a 12-inch circle. Line a 9-inch pie plate with the pastry dough. Fill with apple filling.

5. Roll the remaining crust and

Flaky Homemade Pie Crust Makes a double pie crust

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

7 tablespoons cold butter, cubed 7 tablespoons shortening, cubed 1⁄3 to 2⁄3 cups ice cold water

1. Combine flour and salt in a large bowl with a whisk.

2. Using a pastry cutter, cut the butter and shortening until the mixture resembles the size

Most families have an apple pie recipe that they love. This recipe for “Grandma’s Apple Pie,” courtesy of the Vancouver-based food recipe blog, Spend with Pennies, by Holly Nilsson is one to add to your culinary repertoire.

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1⁄2 cup granulated sugar

3 tablespoons flour

1⁄2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1⁄8 teaspoon nutmeg gently place it over the apple mixture. Seal the edges by gently pinching the top and bottom crusts together. You can fold or decorate the edges by crimping or pressing with a fork. Remove any excess dough.

6. Beat the egg and 2 teaspoons of water or milk. Cut 4 to 5 slits in the top crust to allow steam to escape. Brush with egg mixture and sprinkle with sugar (optional).

7. Place the pie plate on a baking pan lined with parchment paper. This is optional but will of peas.

3. Add ice cold water a tablespoon at a time to one area of the dough and mix with a fork. Move to one side of the bowl and continue adding water just until dough is moistened (you don’t want it to be sticky).

4. Once mixed, use your hands to quickly and gently fold over the dough a couple of times. Divide into two balls.

5. Roll each of the balls into catch any drips or spills. a 12-inch circle on a lightly floured surface. Use as needed in your recipe, or wrap and refrigerate to use later.

8. Bake at 425 F for 15 minutes, reduce heat to 375 F, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes or until the crust is golden and the apples are tender.

9. Cool at least 30 minutes before serving. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce if desired.

Note: You can use a premade refrigerated pie crust for this pie, or try making a homemade pastry with the recipe below.