45
176
contents
Bits &
pieces
116 Dressing
up
9
Contributors
184
Babies of the Bulrushes
23
Beautiful Things To Wear
10
Magazine Detail
186
A Small World
32
A Little Bit Rock’n’Roll
12
Publisher’s Letter
188
Ethical Parenting
111
Dressing Baby – Sing A Rainbow
14
Letterbox
191
Dealing With Loss
122
In The Closet
16
I Love New Things
202
Appendix
124
Pregnancy Fashion – Ladies’ Day Out
20
Goodie Bag
203
Baby’s Web
134
Dressing Baby – Nighty Night
35
Twins Feature
204
Be Involved
144
More Please
93
Happy Birthday Baby
206
Subscribe
96
Party On, Baby!
207
Stockists
109
Nursery Style
208
Lust For This
6
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134 146 99 Life with
baby
Baby's
space
50
Twin Things
26
Introducing Saskia Ann
58
Strolling Around
44
Introducing Hugo & Liam
61
Beautiful Things To Send
52
Introducing Annalise & Ellyssa
64
Working Mum - Jemma Reynolds
67
Introducing Archie Cameron
75
How To…Baby Massage
82
Introducing Holliava Gwendoline
78
My Family Life - Lilian May
99
Introducing Hudson
80
Working Mum - Natalie Hershan
146
Introducing Celeste Iris
89
Grandma’s Tales
154
Introducing Coby
91
Floor Play
161
Introducing Amalia Maree
107
Keeping A Record
176
Introducing Dante Edwin
169
The Good Stuff…Pumpkin
171
Take A Seat
172
The Travelling Baby
201
A Fit Mum
“Babies pick up on your energy, so try to stay calm and peaceful.” - Jemma
p.65
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A f t e r t h e e x p e c t e d ‘ ba b y b l u e s ’ , I f i r s t r e a lly t h o u g h t
PUBLISHER’S letter
I had
lost it w h e n
m y b a b y wa s o n l y a f e w w e e k s o l d .
I
r e m e m b e r wa l k i n g a r o u n d ( a n d a r o u n d ) t h e b l o c k t r y i n g to make him
sleep , w h i l s t
at t h e s a m e t i m e , ta l k i n g o n m y
mobile phone trying to run a business. and
hiccupy sobs , m y
In between calls,
p h o n e r a n g a n d i t wa s a g o o d f r i e n d
who has two young children of her own. H e r w o r d s o f w i s d o m r e s o n at e i n m y e a r s a f e w t i m e s a w e e k - e v e n n o w, a l m o s t a y e a r o n - a n d I s h a r e t h e m
expectations
w i t h e v e r y n e w m o t h e r t h at I k n o w : “ of yourself right now?”
what are your
H e r q u e s t i o n s t o p p e d m e s h o r t.
I wa s
s o s u r e t h e p r o b l e m wa s t h a t ‘ e v e r y o n e ’ ( t h a t ’ s t h e s a m e g r o u p o f p e o p l e a s t h e i n d e f i n a b l e ‘ t h e y ’ w e o f t e n t a l k a b o u t b y t h e wa y ) e x p e c t e d m e t o b e w h o I a l wa y s wa s ,
expected me to be super mum , e x p e c t e d
me to be…insert
i m p o s s i b l e e x p e c tat i o n h e r e …
The tru th is, whether ‘ they ’ expected things from me as a new mum or not wa s , a n d i s , q u i t e i r r e l e va n t.
What would YOU expect f rom you?
Imagi ne
t h at y o u h a d a g r e at f r i e n d , s o m e o n e y o u l o v e d , a n d t h e y w e r e f e e l i n g l i k e you right now: overwhelmed, sleep deprived and
trying too hard t o
be the
p e r s o n t h a t t h e y t h i n k e v e r y o n e wa n t s t h e m t o b e … w h a t w o u l d y o u r w o r d s
What advice would you give someone you love?
be?
How abou t you love
the mother of your child a little and give yourself permission to not b e p e r f e c t. Slow down. yo u.
Love your baby.
Cuddle them as much as they will let
L e a v e t h e h o u s e w o r k – i t w i l l w ai t f o r y o u .
h e l p.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
R e a l l y , t h e y d o n ’ t.
Accep t offers of
No one expects you to be superwoman.
W h e n y o u a r e i n t h e t h i c k o f i t, i t f e e l s a s t h o u g h t h e b a b y - i n d u c e d f o g w i l l n e v e r l i f t, a n d y o u w i l l n e v e r r e c o g n i s e y o u r s e l f a g ai n .
I promise, all
t o o q u i c k ly i t i s o v e r a n d y o u a r e w o n d e r i n g w h at h a p p e n e d t o t h at t i n y, w r i n k ly l i t t l e t h i n g t h at b l e at e d l i k e a g o at at a l l h o u r s o f t h e d ay a n d n i g h t.
A n d w h at h a p p e n e d t o t h at
mess of a woman w h o
w h a t i t wa s l i k e t o b r u s h h e r h ai r o r s h a v e h e r l e g s ! l o o k a r o u n d at t h e c h a o s a n d s m i l e .
This is life –
Publishing Editor
12
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Ta k e a d e e p b r e a t h ,
m e s s y, n o t w h at y o u
t h o u g h t i t wo u ld b e a n d r e a lly, r e a lly wo n d e r f u l .
- Amy Doak
can’t remember
in love with nature
Organic Cotton Babywear Organic Bedding & Sleepwear Toys that Inspire the Imagination Natural & Organic Remedies
Organic Merino Wool Babywear Botanical Soaps & Skincare Organic Food Modern Re-useable Nappies
www.naturebaby.com.au
1800 240 358
DRESSING baby
Tahlia wears Pussy Bow Long Sleeve Tee $24.95 (www.sookibaby.com.au); Papoose Red Bow Skirt $29.95 (www.zodee.com); Papoose Fine Cord Jacket $26.95 (www. blossomtots.com.au); Dents Hat & Scarf $19.95 (www.dents.com.au) and Pork Chop Kids Red Rib Socks $21.50 (www.soulmothers.com.au)
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DRESSING baby
Sonny wears Squirrel Envelope Tee $33.95 (www.baobab.com.au); Long John Leggings $26.50 (www.imp-ish. com); Knitted Alpaca Beanie from local market and Shoes $49.95 (www.oldsoles.com.au)
May 2 0 1 0
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PREGNANCY fashion Terri wears Everly Grey Isabel Top $109.95 and Mavi Skinny Jeans $165.95 (www. queenbee.com.au) Shoes model’s own.
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PREGNANCY fashion
Rachel wears Ruffle My Feathers Camisole $59.95 (www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz), Black Swing Jacket $54.95 (www.bebekmaternity.com.au) and Black Pencil Skirt $159 (www.isabellaoliver.com)
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DRESSING baby
Jemma wears Quilted Sleeping Cocoon in Mulbery $104 (www. eenimeeni.com) and Little Liddy Nightie $39.95 (www. snugglebum.com. au); Babyjo Organic Blanket $32.95 (www. latoriana.com.au)
Mitchell wears Garden Cats Sleepsuit $59.95 (www.babygoesretro. com.au). Maiike Handmade Rabbit $72 (www.miltandjoe. com.au); Rib Knit Striped Blanket $79 (www.bertini.com. au); Aden & Anais Star Flannel Wrap $34 (www.miltandjoe. com.au)
Danielle wears Sascha Striped Nightie $39.95 (www.snugglebum.com. au); Eliza Rag Doll $42 (www. andthelittledoglaughed.com); Green Fountains Bamboo Fleece Blanket $55 (www.smallish.com.au) Thomas wears Lasso Cowboy PJs $32 (www.kiddyupkids.com.au); Basics Rug $49.95 (www.gaiaorganiccotton. com.au) 142
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LITTLE ONE baby
Olive wears Sleep Cocoon in Sage & Green ($158.95) and Full Pyjama Suit in Natural (www.naturebaby.com); Spring Classic Cot Quilt $170 and Spring Modern Panel Pillow $60 (www.habitatbaby.com.au)
May 2 0 1 0
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BABY’S space
INTRODUCING
Celeste Iris.
M
um of two and busy business owner, Daniela Minns is one of those people you can easily envy. A beautiful family, successful business and a fabulous pregnancy and birth! Of course, sometimes a positive perspective is the most essential trait in achieving the elusive perfect life… in fact, Daniela has a motto of ‘embrace the chaos!’ something that clearly helps in keeping calm amongst a busy life. When asked what she wished someone had told her about having children, she looks to the good things: “How much I would miss the little person inside me once they were gone,” she says. “But, of course, then I have the baby in my arms so it’s a fair trade off, I guess!” Of course, towards the end of your pregnancy, it isn’t easy for anyone. “I don’t carry small and that was even harder this time as I had Allegra who wanted to be picked up all the time and cuddles and playtime on the floor. Physically it was an
easier pregnancy in many ways as my body was in less shock having done it all once before but I was less able to indulge in the joys of it all, as I had no time!” Thankfully, this second time around was easier in every way. “Morning sickness, everything about the pregnancy was much milder and much easier this time around… and so was the birth!” In fact, when asked to describe Celeste’s birth she uses a word you don’t often hear in the context of labour: “Fabulous! Honestly, it really was. Particularly when I compare it to Allegra’s birth, which was much more harrowing. I think knowing what I was in for was a big factor in that - and I also had an epidural that worked this time. Second time around was really a breeze and I rate it as an utterly fantastic experience. I also rated Allegra’s birth as amazing- but hindsight has made me realise maybe it wasn’t as great as I thought it was!”
“I wouldn’t change anything about my experience. I’m really proud of myself for holding my ground as the hospital wanted to send me home initially as my contractions had slowed by the time we arrived at the hospital. But I just knew that my baby was coming that day and I insisted we stay put. In the end I sent myself for a little walk with my husband to get things moving again and that worked. I don’t think I’ll ever forget walking along a busy street being doubled over with contractions while holding a takeaway coffee and passers by looking at me like, ‘what is that woman doing on the street sipping her latte when she is clearly about to have a baby!’” Daniela and Gian knew that a girl was on the way, and this helped the task of preparing for the new arrival a little easier. “It was nice to know it was a girl and I had a lovely time going through all Allegra’s things - washing and folding all her tiny things for her little sister to use.
A p r e tt y, n e utra l co l our li k e b utt er cr e a m cr e at es T H E PER F E C T BA SE 146
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Photographer: Lisa Nankervis
Born: 29th October 2009 Weight: 8 pound 13 (3.9 kg) Mum: Daniela, 30 Dad: Gian, 34 Big sister: Allegra Matilda (2) Design Aesthetic: Natural & light
BABY’S space
for eith er a b o y or a gir l . May 2 0 1 0
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Exclusively Available Online www.feedingfashion.com Phone: (07) 3800 0350 Proudly 100% Australian made
...you will fall in love
Czarque Baby Shoes • Australian Made • www.czarque.com.au for stockist information
DEALING WITH loss
Photographer: Lisa Nankervis Model: Dylan wears Princess Ratbag Pettiskirt $80 & Angel Wings $22.95 (www.latoriana.com.au)
L iving on in
mothers’ hearts.
There are common threads between all of the women featured in the following pages; each say while the pain of losing a child never ceases, it does quieten. Each gives enormous thanks for the little things. And through their stories, each gives a presence to their babies in heaven. - Lauren Mitchell
O
ne of the great privileges of writing about other people’s lives is I’m given permission purely to listen. Apart from the odd question, there is no need for me to speak too much, to interrupt, have my say, offer my opinion. In meeting two of the following mothers who have lost precious, precious babies, that privilege was magnified. In fact it floored me. Elizabeth Murphy is careful who she tells about the twin girls she lost so as not to make others uncomfortable.”How many children do you have?” people often ask. “I have three daughters, two are in heaven, but that’s OK,” she says if she feels it is appropriate. She honours her girls, yet gives others the opportunity to not have to question. Because people just don’t know what to say.
What do you say if someone you know has lost a child? For Elizabeth, it helped to receive the few cards which congratulated her on the birth of Lara and Victoria. It helped when a neighbour popped by with a block of chocolate, not knowing what to say, but knowing the offering “couldn’t hurt.” It helped for people simply to keep the lines of friendship open. It helps to use the babies’ names. For Louisa Gargano, only when news of her own miscarriages spread, did she hear of other women who’d suffered through the same. They seemed to come out of the woodwork. These women are everywhere. They are there for each other, in support groups and on-line communities. At IVF clinics and
maternity wards. Many want to share their story, speak their thoughts, and find comfort in doing so with those who best understand. I can never understand. And before I was assigned this story, perhaps I felt uncomfortable too. I thought writing these pieces, listening to these women, would be a great challenge... I was wrong. It was a privilege. I hope you take the time to read these stories, and that of Jessica Haines and Catherine McCarthy, who eloquently and passionately wrote their own pieces. I guarantee you will feel inspired by them. You will give thought and love to the mothers “with empty arms”, you will hold your swollen belly and hug your baby extra tight. As yes, you will cry.
FOR ALL OF THOSE ANGEL BABIES OUT THERE... ALWAYS LOVED & NEVER FORGOTTEN. May 2 0 1 0
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DEALING WITH loss
in mum ’ s heart
always.
Catherine McCarthy writes on her and her husband Brad’s journey to give their son, Harry, a sibling. He now has two, and although Oscar is in heaven, mum and dad vow to keep this precious brother’s memory strong.
F
rom the get go this pregnancy was very different to my first. At the six week mark I began spotting. I rang my obstetrician who advised us to go for an ultrasound which confirmed there was still a heartbeat. I was told to take it easy, that bleeding was very common in the first trimester of pregnancy. We were relieved to make it to the 12 week ultrasound. By now it was June 2008 and we were preparing for our annual family holiday. The week before we were due to fly to Byron Bay my spotting had turned into quite heavy bleeding. We went to the clinic for our 19 – 20 week ultrasound and my obstetrician assured us our baby looked OK. By the time we arrived at the Byron Bay resort I really wasn’t feeling well. I couldn’t walk for more than a few metres without hunching over in pain and the bleeding had become heavy again. In the end Brad, Harry and I were rushed to hospital. It was here I was informed I was in labour and that our 19-week-old baby would probably arrive by morning. There was no chance of it surviving. The room was prepared for the arrival of a very premature baby. There was a camera
for photos, some scissors in case we wanted a lock of hair, some paperwork to fill out. To our surprise, everything seemed to calm down in the early hours of that morning. The midwives checked for a heartbeat and despite everything our baby was still hanging in there. It was a miracle. We were eventually discharged. That night I again woke in great pain and a pool of blood. Hours later, on Monday, 18 August, 2008 our baby, a boy, was born silently at 1.04pm. He weighed 220grams. I made the decision not to see or hold him – it was just too much for me to bear in that moment. Brad and I just held each other as they took our son away. Harry slept on a couch nearby. We would, months later, name our second son Oscar Thomas McCarthy.
After I had to cancel the hospital booking I had made, advise Harry’s childcare centre I no longer needed a place in the nursery, pack away all my pregnancy clothes and the newborn clothes that Oscar would never wear. Oscar’s pathology results showed there was no apparent genetic abnormality so there was no obvious reason as to why I
went into premature labour – it was just ‘one of those things’. Everyone was very sympathetic but more often than not struggled to know what to say to us. It was attending a bereavement group for parents who had recently lost babies themselves that proved to be a real turning point. We found great strength from speaking with other parents who had also lost babies.
Moving on An important part of the healing process for me was falling pregnant again. Though we were relieved to soon be ‘on our way’ again, every day brought the worry that this baby wouldn’t make it either. As a matter of self preservation I couldn’t let myself get too attached to this baby in case we lost it too. Finally, at 11.32am on Friday, July 3, 2009 our daughter, Madison Jade McCarthy, was born via c-section. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The thing I remember most about her birth, apart from hearing that wonderful newborn cry, was the enormous sense of relief that she was here, that she had made it. I felt the black cloud that had shrouded my shoulders from the moment we lost Oscar had finally lifted.
MADISON & HARRY WILL ALWAYS KNOW ABOUT THEIR BROTHER, oSCAR. 192
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DEALING WITH loss
Opposite Page: The ultraound three days before losing Oscar showed a healthy baby. Above: Oscar’s name in the kitchen is a daily reminder of the fifth member of the McCarthy family.
One, Two or Three ‘How many children do you have?’ they ask I say ‘I have two’ and put on my mask Then I give them a smile and walk away ‘Three I have three!’ that’s what I want to say How do I answer a question like that? I guess it depends on where I am at Three times I have given birth Yet one is in heaven, and two are on earth If a stranger asks and they’re just being polite I’ll say ‘I have two’ but it doesn’t feel right If it’s an acquaintance of mine who doesn’t know I take the risk and let my heart show Some change the subject when I say you died When they do it hurts deep inside Some say ‘I’m sorry’ and ask about you I’m so happy they show an interest in you But please baby, please, remember this That if I say two, I don’t deny you exist You exist in my heart, you know that is true So please forgive me if sometimes I don’t mention you.
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