H E A D L I N E S
‘one-stop shop’ website for COVID-19 vaccination scheduling (Feb. 17)
STRESS FRACTURES
LittleVillageMag.com
JOHN MARTINEK
Two weeks after announcing the state was going to launch a website that would be “a centralized registration and referral system” for people trying to schedule a COVID-19 vaccination, Gov. Kim Reynolds said no such site will be created.
CRCSD Superintendent Noreen Bush receives national award (Feb. 22) AASA, The School Superintendents Association, is honoring Bush for her “exceptional leadership.” Bush is Cedar Rapids’ first woman superintendent.
Grassley won’t say if he’s running in 2022, praises Rush Limbaugh at town hall meeting in Greene County (Feb. 22) The 87-year-old senator told reporters the decision would not be made for months, but said he is in good health.
Republican lawmakers advance bill that cuts off state funding to any city that reduces its police budget (Feb. 23) A bill that would halt state funding to any city
BROCK ABOUT TOWN
AUDREY
BROCK
Last week, I read an article (in a publication
present my official guide to a socially respon-
the end of a limbo competi-
which shall here remain nameless but is not
sible spring break.
tion, but they sure are tasty.
that posed the question: Where should we go
Create the right ambience. First, crank up the
Start some drama. One of the
for spring break? Since the author chose not to
heat in your apartment until it’s impossible to
mainstays of the spring break
supply for their audience the correct answer to
wear anything more substantial than booty
experience is having a knock-
that question, I will. Nowhere! For the love of
shorts and a halter top. Then, choose the ap-
down-drag-out fight with your
God, please stay home. Even if you’ve had the
propriate music—try Googling “Chainsmokers
friends. It’s inevitable, really, when you’re all
vaccine, travel could pose serious risks to those
dubstep remix”—and blast it at top volume
sharing a sleeping bag on the floor of Katie’s
around you, like the grandma you’re only going
from the moment you wake up around 3 p.m.
boyfriend’s frat brother’s room in the cheapest
to visit because her house is 45 minutes from
Finally, as soon as you’re done eating, drinking
Comfort Inn in New Orleans. It’s an experience
Miami Beach.
or smoking anything, throw the remnants on
not unlike having roommates during COVID, so
the ground. After a few days, you’ll really start
it should be easy for you to pick a fight with
to feel like you’re in a resort town.
whomever you’re living. If you’d like to expand
known for its socially responsible attitudes)
I realize that for our collegiate readers, the freshmen and sophomores in particular,
beyond your bubble, you’ll have to get creative.
this will come as a bit of a disappointment. They’ve been deprived of the opportunity to
Make some new drinks. Pinterest is rife
Maybe open your friend’s Snap and then leave
have formative adolescent experiences, like
with recipes for fun tropical cocktails, like
her on read for three hours? That should do it.
waking up on a fire escape in South Padre
Hurricanes, Painkillers, Panty-Droppers, Face-
Island with a cute townie’s initials tattooed
Destroyers and Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters.
ber to have fun, stay COVID-safe and avoid
on their left buttcheek. I can’t imagine the
Most of them started life as ungodly conglom-
getting tattoos from dudes who work out of
toll that must take. So, without further ado, I
erations of the backwash-y dregs left over at
vans.
12 March 2021 LITTLEVILLAGEMAG.COM/LV292
Whatever you do this spring break, remem-
VENMO @littlevillagemag PAYPAL lv@littlevillagemag.com
