LIVErNEWS Issue 76 - Autumn 2021

Page 25

£15.41?" From Monday postmen will be working from home. They will read all your letters and ring you if it’s anything important. I’ve started telling everyone about the benets of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness! The kids asked me, 'Dad what is it like to be married?' So I am going to ignore them for a week and then shout at them for something they did 3 years ago! This is the best/worst joke I’ve heard today: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? Are you ready? Ian.

How • • • • • • 7 • • •

She fell in love with a plumber and got wet. She fell in love with a tennis player but love meant nothing to him. She fell in love with a moonshiner, because he kept her in good spirits! She fell in love with a candy maker but it turned out to be a Rocky road. She fell in love with the milkman but in the end it turned sour! She fell in love with a surgeon and he left her is stitches She fell in love with a dam operator and he left her high and dry. She fell in love with a carpenter and got hammered. THAT’S IT FOR NOW - MORE HOWLERS NEXT ISSUE, KEEP THEM COMING!

to write good Avoid Alliteration, Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. They’re old hat. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Be more or less specic. Writers should never generalize. Be consistent! Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superuous Who needs rhetorical questions? Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Take time to talk about organ donation Many people don’t realise that their family’s support is needed for organ donation to go ahead.

LIVErNEWS No. 76

~ 25 ~ Autumn 2021


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