Our Favorite Days - Chelsea M. Cameron (INGLÊS)

Our Favorite Days My Favorite Mistake: Book 3 Copyright © 2016 Chelsea M. Cameron All rights reserved.

Editing by Jen Hendricks chelseamcameron.com

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Our Favorite Days (My Favorite Mistake, Book Three) is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are use fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business establishments or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Nocturnal (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book One) Amazon Nightmare (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Two) Amazon Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Three) Amazon Neverend (The Noctalis Chronicles, Book Four) Amazon Whisper (The Whisper Trilogy, Book One) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo Deeper We Fall (Fall and Rise, Book One) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Faster We Burn (Fall and Rise, Book Two) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Together We Heal Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks My Favorite Mistake (Available from Harlequin) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks My Sweetest Escape (Available from Harlequin) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Sweet Surrendering Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Surrendering to Us Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Dark Surrendering

Amazon Barnes and Noble KoboiBooks For Real (Rules of Love, Book One) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks For Now (Rules of Love, Book Two) Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Deep Surrendering Amazon UnWritten Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Behind Your Back Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Back to Back Amazon Barnes and Noble Kobo iBooks Bend Me, Break Me Amazon

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Novels By The Author Find Chelsea Online Contents One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-One Epilogue Acknowledgements About The Author

“I swear, if you grope me one more time, I’m going to break your fingers off, Mr. Zaccadelli,” I said as Hunter, yet again, grabbed my ass as he walked by me to re-shelve another book.

He just gave me a wink.

“I think I can deal with a few broken fingers if it means getting to be with you, Missy,” he said and against my will, my heart fluttered. I just couldn’t help it. My body was specifically designed to react to him and he was specially designed to cause that reaction.

From the top of his buzzed head, to his tattoos, to his guitar-playing fingers and on down to the tips of his toes, I wanted him.

My fiancée.

It still felt bizarre to be thinking of him that way, even though he’d proposed several months ago. The ring winked up at me from its permanent place on my left ring finger. I was so entranced by it that I didn’t notice when he stepped close to me again. A finger tipped my chin up and I stared into his amazing blue eyes. He smiled and I melted to the floor.

“Hey, Missy Girl.”

“Hey,” I said in return. The nickname had driven me absolutely crazy when he’d first given it to me. Crazy, as in made my heart thump and my skin tingle every time I heard it.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his brows drawing together. It was just the two of us up here in the closed stacks of the library, so we didn’t have to worry about anyone busting us for slacking during work, for which I was grateful. Although, Hunter had the habit of being inappropriate whether there were people around or not. It was just one of his charms.

“You,” I admitted and his face split into a smile that made everything right.

“Oh, yeah? Me, or certain parts of my anatomy and what I can do with them?” He wiggled his eyebrows and took another step so we were chest-tochest. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair how much I reacted to him and he barely had to make an effort.

“No,” I said, narrowing my eyes and turning away from him. Two could play this game. Slowly, I bent down to get a book off the bottom shelf and then arched my back as I came up. Looking over my shoulder, I was pleased with his reaction. It didn’t hurt that I had plenty going on back there for him to look at.

“You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home,” he said, his voice low and thick with desire.

“Oh, yeah?” I said, trying to be nonchalant and failing. “What kind of trouble?” He smirked and brushed one finger down my spine, making me shiver.

“The best kind.”

Yellowfield House was in chaos when we returned, but that was nothing new.

The house Hunter had bought for us had three floors (not counting the basement) and seven residents and when we were all in residence, things got rowdy.

Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way. When Hunter had first come to me

with the idea of living together in a house, I thought he was joking. Or crazy. Or both. I was finally swayed by the fact we were sharing a room in the dorms already. Plus, our bed here was a lot bigger and we didn’t have to worry about thin walls when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Which was most of the time.

Darah was running referee as her boyfriend, and Hunter’s cousin, Mase, was arguing with Renee on whether you were supposed to put salt or oil in pasta water to make sure the noodles didn’t stick together. Paul, Renee’s boyfriend, just sat back and watched, knowing it was best not to interfere. Renee could hold her own and then some.

Laughter came from the living room where Jos, Renee’s sister, was attempting to imitate her boyfriend Dusty’s beatboxing skills with limited success. They’d only been dating for a short time, but anyone could see that they were good together. Good for each other. It made my heart swell to watch them.

All our little ducks in a row.

“Okay, okay, what is the deal?” Hunter said, wading into the fray in the kitchen.

Renee and Mase started talking over each other and Hunter whistled to get them both to shut up.

“Why don’t we do both? We have enough pots. Do one with oil, one with salt and then we’ll compare.” Renee and Mase glared at each other, but sighed.

“Fine,” Renee said and Mase went to get another pot. Paul joined her at the sink, his hand on her lower back. Renee tended to have a temper, even though she looked like a sweet, petite blonde princess and Paul was the person who could always talk her down. Crazy how we all managed to find one another in this world.

Seeing that the battle was over, Hunter tucked me under his arm and we went into the living room to crash on the ugliest recliner in the history of recliners. It was also the chair that we had first kissed on, so it had a soft spot in my heart. I’d only allowed him to bring it into the house for sentimental reasons.

“Nice try, Red,” Dusty said as Jos made a stuttering noise that was probably supposed to sound like a drum beat. She rolled her eyes.

“No, it wasn’t. But not everyone can be as talented with their mouth as you are.” He raised an eyebrow and leaned in for a kiss that quickly turned into something a little more adult.

Hunter cleared his throat and they broke apart. Dusty’s hand was partially up Jos’s shirt and her fingers were hooked around his belt loops.

“What? Like you’re one to talk?” Jos said, raising one eyebrow.

She’d been on the offensive when she’d first moved in (I didn’t think it had anything to do with her red hair), but had slowly opened up to all of us. I really liked her and it was so good to see her happy and smiling now. Renee had been difficult about their relationship at first, but she was trying to do better. Trying.

They were a work in progress. Just like the rest of us.

“How was work?” she asked as she settled back and Dusty tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

“Same old, same old,” I said, giving Hunter a glare. He just grinned and the look made me want to smack him and kiss him at the exact same time.

“Oh hey,” I said, remembering something, “I found this new band last night and downloaded some of their music. I thought you might like it.” I got out my phone and tossed it to Jos, who fished a set of earbuds out of her pocket and plugged them into my phone. She handed one of the buds to Dusty and put one in her own ear. It was such a sweet gesture, it made me smile.

I waited as she listened, a slow smile spreading on her face. Jos was such a music junkie, but she was also so particular that I never knew how she was going to react when I shared something with her. Dusty started tapping out the beat of the music, as if he couldn’t help it.

“Dinnertime!” Renee called a few minutes later and we all crowded around the not-big-enough dining table. Nights like these, with all of us being here together were rare. I wanted to take a picture of it. The family I never thought I would have.

“What are you smiling about?” Hunter said in my ear as Renee handed me my plate after filling it with spaghetti, sauce and a piece of garlic bread. I set my plate down and turned toward him.

“Just… everything. If you would have told me when you walked through our door that someday I’d end up here, in a house with you and everyone else, I would have said you were crazy. I just… I never thought I would have this and sometimes it overwhelms me how lucky I am.” There was something lurking in his eyes when I finished what I was saying. He knew exactly what I meant.

His own history was tragic, with a side of sweetness that came from his aunt, uncle and cousins who had taken him in. They were closer than close and I’d been absorbed into the Mason/Zaccadelli family from the first time I stepped into his aunt and uncle’s gi-huge-ic house.

When he didn’t say anything, I leaned over and kissed the lucky number seven on his arm before brushing it with my fingers.

We were both lucky in so many ways.

Waking up next to Taylor in the morning blew my mind each and every day. I’d thought I would have gotten used to it by now, but nope. Still knocked me out every time I opened my eyes in the morning with her body all over mine. Like we couldn’t exist without each other.

That was how it felt. Like I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t function without her. I’d always thought people who were in love might just be exaggerating, or making it out to be more than it was, but now I knew. This was real and she was everything.

Her eyes would blink and then a slow smile would work its way across her face and I felt like my heart was going to punch its way out of my chest.

“Hey, Missy Girl.” She pretended she hated the nickname, but I knew she loved it, which was why I kept using it.

“Hi,” she said, slowly untangling her limbs from mine. After sleeping (actual sleep, not sex) with her, I never wanted to go back to being alone. Being without her was just… wrong.

When I slept with Taylor in my bed, the nightmares didn’t come. Well, sometimes they did, but when they started to get bad, there were gentle hands to brush my tears away and sweet lips to make me forget.

“Are you okay?” she said, her eyebrows drawing together in concern. Her speech was slurred a little by her retainer. I loved getting to see her like this. All

rumpled and sleepy and mine.

“Yes. Just thinking.”

“That could be dangerous,” she said and I rolled my eyes at her as she crawled over me and stood up. I still slept naked and sometimes she did too, but this morning she wore a loose tank top and a tiny pair of shorts that made her ass look fantastic. I adored everything about her, but there were certain features that I adored more than others. Her ass was one.

I reached out and pinched one cheek as she yelped and then slapped my hand away.

“None of that, Mr. Zaccadelli. I have to get to class and so do you.”

Normally I was the first one up and ready to go and she was the one I had to drag out of bed, but we’d gotten to sleep a little late today since we’d been smart with our schedules. It was my senior year and I was ready to be done with my undergrad, get my student teaching out of the way and finish my master’s in music so I could teach. If everything worked out, Taylor and I would graduate at the same time.

“Let’s skip, Miss Caldwell,” I said, knowing she was going to turn me down. Just as she was about to reject my idea, Darah called up the stairs that breakfast was ready. Even though we all left at different times, there was always someone up first to whip up some pancakes and bacon for whomever wasn’t rushed enough to sit down and eat.

“Come on, Fiancée,” Taylor said, holding her hands out to me. I took them and got up. Her eyes went immediately down my chest and focused on what I had going on south of the border.

“You put that away,” she said, poking me in the chest with one finger.

“Make me,” I said, crossing my arms and licking my lips. She was still staring at me down there and it was only making me harder and want her even more. If that was possible. Just as I was about to throw her back on the bed and ravish her, a fist slammed on our door.

“Get your clothes on and get your horny asses downstairs,” Mase boomed.

Taylor and I both rolled our eyes in unison. He was just grumpy because he’d had a fight with Darah last night and she was freezing him out. I had no doubt he would get his head out of his ass, show up outside one of her classes with flowers and a contrite expression and they’d be good by the time we sat down to dinner tonight. They were just like us.

Even though the food was going to be cold by the time we made it downstairs, we took a shower together (which ended in both of us getting off in record time). By the time we made it down to the first floor, Jos, Dusty, Mase and Paul were out the door and it was only Renee and Darah left, rushing around and muttering to themselves.

I loaded up a plate for Taylor, sans bacon, and then one for myself before sitting down and patting my lap.

“Ugh, you two are disgusting sometimes,” Renee said. Taylor stuck her hand out, as if she was going to shake Renee’s.

“Hi, Pot, my name is Kettle, nice to meet you.” Renee just glared, which made her look like an angry Disney princess. Taylor laughed and Renee gave her the middle finger as she was running out the door. Darah was right behind her a few minutes later, quickly wrapping her dark hair up into a bun and waving goodbye.

“Whoa,” Taylor said.

“What?” I asked, tapping my fingers on her thigh. My little quirks never seemed to bother her.

“The house is quiet.” I listened and it was. Our house was almost never quiet. It was eerie.

“This feels wrong,” I said and she laughed.

“Seriously. Someone should be yelling or playing music too loud. Or Skyrim or the guitar or something. We have loud friends,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“We do indeed.” I pushed some of her brown hair out of her face. She was wearing it down and straight today and I just wanted to wrap my fingers around

it and pull her mouth to mine for a kiss.

“Shit,” she said, looking down at her phone. “We have to go.” I grumbled as she got off my lap, rinsed our dishes and then threw them in the dishwasher.

We bickered about whose car we would take as we headed out the door and she won because mine was on the fritz and I had been dragging my heels getting it fixed. I just had the feeling they were going to tell me it was a lost cause, and that would suck. I’d bought that car with my own money that I’d earned. It was one of the only things I owned that felt like it was truly mine, and not bought with my father’s blood-soaked oil executive money that I’d inherited.

As we made the short drive to campus Taylor and I also argued about what song we’d listen to. She won that one as well.

“Maybe I’ll give you a blow job later,” she said, patting my cheek as I pouted at her. She laughed at my growl and change in expression. The things this girl could do to me.

I kissed her goodbye and squeezed her ass so she wouldn’t forget me for the rest of the day.

“You’re trouble,” she said as I let go.

“But I’m your kind of trouble.” She turned and I listened to her laugh echo as she walked into the building.

Since upper level classes were small, I generally saw the same thirty or so people in every one. Even though I was going to be a music teacher, I still had to take classes on teaching math, science, English and social studies. It probably wasn’t a bad idea, since if I couldn’t find a job teaching music, I could fall back on something else. I gravitated toward English or social studies since I loved reading. More so now that I was with Taylor. She was always finding new books and lending them to me. Or, as she would say, I was always stealing them. Psh,

semantics.

“Hey,” I said to Summer as I dropped into the seat next to hers before Teaching Reading and Language Arts. “Nice hair.” Last week it had been a startling shade of turquoise, but today it was a vibrant purple. She looked up and blew her bangs out of her face.

“I had to bleach the shit out of my scalp, but it was totally worth it.” She grinned at me and I shook my head. Between the hair, her eyebrow piercing and the tattoos up and down her arms, she didn’t exactly look like the traditional teacher, but I didn’t think she cared. I wasn’t one to talk, with all my tattoos.

“It looks great,” I said and she opened one of her glitter-covered notebooks.

There was nothing quiet about Summer, from her look to her inability to filter any of her thoughts. She reminded me a little of Taylor, which was how we’d become friends and study buddies. Plus, neither of us really had the traditional “teacher look” which made us stick out.

Class started and my focus turned toward the professor, but, like always, part of my mind was thinking about a certain brunette with a smart mouth who was currently sitting in her own class. Hopefully thinking about me. Sometimes I sent her little sexy texts during the day to make sure she was.

Taylor’s and my schedules didn’t match up for lunch, so I hung out with Summer. Mase stopped by to grab a sandwich and stuff it in his face before waving and heading off to his next business class.

“There is a lot of good DNA in your family,” Summer said as he left. “I mean, if I was even a little bit bisexual…” I laughed as her eyes slid from Mase to a tall blonde wearing high-heeled boots that walked in the opposite direction.

“Sorry,” I said, chuckling a little as she glared at me.

“Whatever.” She glowered down into her bowl of soup.

“Hey, you’re going to find someone. You should hang out with my crew.

Love can be contagious sometimes.” It was true that everyone who lived at Yellowfield House had managed to find someone who was their match. Renee was always looking for a new “project” to work on. Right now it was Jos’ friend

Hannah. Brett, the guy she liked, was obviously interested, but Hannah didn’t seem to want to give him a chance, no matter how hard he tried. I knew all about that. I’d never worked so hard at anything when I was trying to get Taylor.

“Hanging out with a bunch of people who are all coupled up? No, thank you.” She picked up her tray and went to toss it. Summer’s personality was intense, in both a good and a bad way. Still, I didn’t think she’d have any problems snagging the right girl. There was just something about her that made you want to be around her.

After my classes got done for the day, I headed to the library to squeeze in a few hours of work. Granted, I didn’t have to work, but I refused to be one of those guys who lived off their trust fund and spent their days sleeping and their nights getting wasted. I wanted to show Taylor that if worse came to worse, I could support myself, and her, if I had to.

When I walked into the kitchen that night I caught Darah and Mase in the process of making up. He had her up on the counter, standing between her legs as he kissed the shit out of her. I cleared my throat and he pulled back. Darah went red as hell, but Mase just lifted an eyebrow.

“Dinner in a few,” he said, brushing his fingers through Darah’s dark hair.

She hid her face in his shoulder and he chuckled.

“Got it,” I said, giving them a little salute before heading to the living room. What I found stopped my heart.

Taylor was on the floor, holding my guitar and picking out a few chords.

She’d learned a few basic songs and I couldn’t be prouder. She started to play a basic chord progression and added her husky voice. I recognized the song immediately. “Fix You” by Coldplay.

I could measure our relationship in songs. Coldplay was our first official date, when I’d brought my guitar and sang for her.

I’d had the idea while we were eating dessert. Just another way I could say I was sorry. Not that there were ever enough ways to say sorry for being such an asshole to her. Any guy could take her out to dinner, but I’d wanted to make sure

she remembered this.

All I’d needed was my guitar.

“Would you excuse me?” Taylor raised an eyebrow at my polite tone and I had to hide a smile. “I’m being a gentleman, don’t ruin it.”

“Yes you may be excused, Mr. Zaccadelli,” she said, a little puzzled.

“Thank you, Miss Caldwell. I will return momentarily.”

I couldn’t look at her as I walked back inside, guitar in hand, and headed toward the piano.

I fished some cash out of my wallet and sidled up to the dude playing the piano for “ambience.”

“Hey, I know this is probably a crazy idea, but would you mind if I played?” I held up the guitar. “It’s my anniversary with my girlfriend. I want to do something extra special for her.” The guy seemed like he was ignoring me, but then he looked up and nodded as I slid a fifty into his hand.

“If this gets me laid, I have you to thank,” I said and he cracked a smile as he finished the piece. The silence was almost deafening. A waiter came over to see what was going on and the piano man explained the situation. Fuck, I only had so much money to pay these people off so I could do this.

Fortunately, the waiter seemed to be on board and even brought me a stool and moved the mic for me.

“Hello, everyone,” I said, a little nervous, but telling myself to calm the fuck down. “I’m sorry to disturb your dinner. I’ll only take a few moments of your time.” I adjusted my guitar and hoped that no one could tell that I was freaking out inside.

“I just wanted to play a little song for my girl, Taylor, over there. She agreed to come here with me tonight, even after I wasn’t very nice to her. This is part of my apology. I hope you like it.” I hadn’t been able to look at her up until then. She was blushing and it was cute as hell. This whole thing was worth it just to see that.

I started the song and let myself get lost in the music, as always. I could

feel her eyes on me. Everything else disappeared and it was just her and me.

I couldn’t explain why the song made me think of her, but it did. Something about the melody and the intensity that built throughout and then it went back to soft at the very end. A whisper and a storm all at once. Her eyes watched me the whole time and the look on her face was worth potentially angering all the other people in the restaurant. She saw me. And not just as an irritation that she had to put up with. Not just the guy who was always trying to get in her pants. She saw me as a guy that she might be proud of. A guy that she might have feelings for.

Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part. I half-expected her to want to punch me when I got back to the table. Still worth it.

“I’m sorry, Missy. Thank you for listening,” I said after I’d finished to some polite applause. I didn’t care what anyone else had to say. Just her.

But she was silent as I sat back down at the table.

“Well?” I asked when I couldn’t stand the suspense anymore.

“I don't really know what to say.” That almost made me laugh.

“You’ve never been at a loss for words in your life. Let me have it. You hated it.”

“No, I didn’t.”

Her fingers slipped on the strings and she stopped, frowning.

“Keep going,” I said and she startled as she looked up at me. Her face lit up and my heart stopped again.

“Stop judging me, Mr. Musical Prodigy. I hate it when you watch me like that.” Still, she was smiling as she said it and I went to join her on the floor.

Loud voices came from the basement where I assumed Renee, Paul and Dusty were probably playing Call of Duty. Dusty might as well move in, since he was here all the time and his apartment was a shithole.

Napoleon, his cat, was already a permanent fixture at Yellowfield House and absolutely spoiled rotten by all of us.

“How was your day, dear?” I asked Taylor as she handed over the guitar.

“Fine, my darling. I got an email about working at the crisis center and I get to start training next week.” This time her eyes lit up for a different reason.

“That’s great. They’re going to be lucky to have you.” She rolled her eyes at my compliment, even though it was true. She was majoring in women’s studies and couldn’t wait to get her feet wet and get some experience helping women and children. My Missy Girl was wonderful like that. She helped everyone she met, even if she didn’t know she was doing it. Including me.

“Hey, so I was thinking we can go down and have dinner with my family this weekend?” They all adored her and I was pretty sure my aunt, Hope, loved Taylor more than she loved me. I knew my cousin Harper definitely did and it wasn’t just because Taylor had the same name as Harper’s favorite singer.

“Oh, that would be awesome! I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve seen them, even if it’s only been a few weeks.” I strummed the guitar and then started playing “Style” by Taylor Swift. She giggled at my song choice, but we both knew all the words to all the songs on Taylor’s 1989 album. Her voice joined mine and we played through a few more of the songs.

“I love that you’re not emasculated by liking Taylor Swift,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek as Mase called everyone for dinner.

“Why would I be emasculated by liking amazing music?” I asked and she put her arm around my waist.

“And that is why I love you.”

“Not the only reason, though, right?”

We both sat down and she turned to me.

“Not the only reason. One of many.”

“Good.”

Mase and Darah usually joined us when we went to visit Hunter’s family, but they both had something going this weekend, so it was just Hunter and me heading to the house. I had to admit, when I’d first seen it, I’d been stunned into silence. I hadn’t known Hunter came from money and that was my first glimpse of the enormity of it. Even after spending tons of time here, it still smacked me over the head when I got out of the car and looked up at the massive façade.

“You do that every time,” Hunter said, chuckling and taking my hand.

“Well, I feel like it gets bigger every time I’m here,” I retorted and he squeezed my hand and gave me a smile that made my insides turn over.

“Come on, Missy Girl.”

The second we walked in the door, Harper, Hunter’s niece, dragged me to her room to show me her new American Girl doll. I had to admit, eleven-yearold me was totally jealous. The whole thing was made infinitely cuter by the fact that Harper and the doll had matching clothes and the doll even had a little wheelchair just like Harper’s. Harper had cerebral palsy and used a motorized chair to get around. I loved watching her chase Hunter around the apple orchard, her giggles making everyone else laugh too.

When we got back downstairs via the elevator, Hope was setting out an impressive spread in the formal dining room. Now that she knew I was a vegetarian, she always made something just for me, even though I’d told her a hundred times that I could get by on sides, rolls and salad. She also always sent us home with one or two pies. I swear, I’d gained ten pounds since I started coming here.

“You look lovely,” she said with her beautiful southern accent. Hunter was originally from Texas, but his drawl only came out every now and then, especially when he wanted something from me. He knew that was a sure way to make me give in to his demands.

“Thank you, so do you.” Even after nearly a year of knowing her, she still intimidated the hell out of me. She was all polish and charm and perfect jewelry and refinement. I felt like a dirty slob next to her, even though I was wearing my nicest skirt and a lacy shirt that Hunter had picked out for me that morning. He got a kick out of picking out my clothes, so I let him do it every now and then.

It was just Hunter, me, Hunter’s aunt and uncle, and Harper.

“No Joe?” I asked and Hunter shook his head. Joe was a family friend and also a lawyer who handled Hunter’s parents’ estate and the payouts to Hunter.

“Nope, he’s on a cruise with his wife in the Bahamas,” Hunter said.

“I wish I was in the Bahamas,” Hope said with a meaningful look at her husband who put his hands up in surrender.

“Cruise, cruise!” Harper said, clapping her hands together.

“Uh oh, you’re committed now,” Hunter said and we all laughed. If Harper wanted to go on a cruise, her parents would buy a damn ship for her.

After we all stuffed ourselves on another of Hope’s delicious pies, Hunter and I went up to his room to hang out a little. Since we were already “living in sin” there were no rules about closed doors, but I refused to have sex with him while everyone was home. It just weirded me out.

“But my bed is so much bigger than yours and doesn’t have Disney princess sheets,” he said, trying to convince me. I snorted. I would never get

over seeing Hunter sleeping on my childhood bed, covered in sheets that had princesses on them.

“I said no.” He pouted his gorgeous mouth and I had to turn away from him so I wouldn’t cave.

“So I have a question for you,” he said in a different tone of voice that made me face him again.

“Yes?” He wouldn’t meet my eyes, so I didn’t know what the hell was going to come out of his mouth next.

“What are your feelings about eloping?” At first I wanted to ask him to repeat himself to make sure I’d heard him correctly.

“Eloping?” He looked up and nodded, his face suddenly serious.

I crossed the room and sat down next to him on his bed.

“Um, I think that if I get married and my mother and Tawny aren’t there, the police are never going to be able to find your body.” He snorted, but I was only half-kidding.

“Just because I want to wait to marry you, doesn’t mean I don’t want to.

You’re it for me, Hunter. You always have been and you always will be.” I grabbed his chin and placed a kiss on his mouth, but he didn’t melt like he usually did when I used my wiles on him.

“I just feel like it’s so far away and it seems like bad luck to wait.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“You’re pulling the superstitious card on me?” He rubbed his arm where the number seven was inked.

“Yes and no. I just… I want you to be my wife and I don’t see what’s going to change between now and when we graduate that’s enough of a reason to wait.

I’m all in.” My heart squeezed at his words. I loved hearing them, but they also touched something else in me.

Fear.

I was fucking terrified of getting married.

Sure, I’d said I would and the proposal had been one of the best days of my

life, but actually walking down the aisle and signing a legal document with him?

Scared me like hell.

I hadn’t told Hunter about my fears because I didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. It wasn’t him. It was everything else that went with marriage. The financial aspects and the fact that we’d be so tied together. I just didn’t feel ready.

Ready to be someone’s wife.

I just shut down. I couldn’t make the words happen and Hunter, being the wonderful guy he was, grabbed me up in a hug.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. We can talk about it another time.” He was giving in again. For me. He was always doing so much for me and sometimes it made me feel guilty, but if I told him to stop, he’d just do something even more crazy, like take me on a surprise cruise.

“I’m sorry too. I love you,” I said into his shirt as I inhaled his comforting scent of cinnamon and warm spice.

“More than the stars,” I added, because that was the only thing to say.

“More than the stars,” he echoed.

I hadn’t seen my friend Megan in ages, so I called her on Sunday to see if she wanted to hang out sometime soon. I also needed to ask her advice about marriage. She was engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Jake, and planning a lavish (as much lavish as they could afford) wedding.

She was ecstatic to hear from me and suggested that we meet at a craft store. She was making her own centerpieces and needed supplies. Her wedding wasn’t for ages, but she was doing a little at a time. I couldn’t even wrap my head around what kind of centerpieces I’d have for my own wedding. When it happened.

I left work on Monday and drove Sassy, my red Dodge Charger, to the local craft store in Bangor. Megan squealed when she saw me and we shared a hug.

Last year we’d spent so much time together, but since we both lived on opposite sides of town and had crazy schedules, we didn’t get a whole lot of time to spend together these days.

“I miss you like crazy,” she said and I agreed. “How’s your man?”

I rolled my eyes.

“That’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about,” I said, staring down at my beautiful ring.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?” she said as we passed a display of glittered fake flowers.

“Not exactly. He asked me if I wanted to elope.” I couldn’t look at her when I said it.

“Yeah? And what was your response?” I shrugged.

“I mean… I can’t do that. My mom and sister would flip their shit and I think my dad wants to walk me down the aisle.” I had a difficult relationship with him, but we were sort of in the process of repairing it. I still wasn’t ready to forgive him for running off and leaving us, but he was trying and I had to give credit where credit was due.

“Okay, so why the face?” She used one finger to draw a circle around my head.

“I don’t know!” I said, causing a woman walking by us to give me the eye.

Megan studied me for a moment before grabbing my arm and leading me out of the store.

“Where are we going?”

“Well, I would say we need drinks for this conversation, but since neither of us is of age, caffeine is about the next best thing.” She marched me a few stores down to a Barnes and Noble that had a Starbucks attached and directed me to sit while she ordered. I sat and waited, my fingers tapping on the table. Hunter was rubbing off on me.

She came back with two caramel macchiatos and shoved one in front of me.

“Drink. Talk.”

I wrapped my fingers around the cup and sighed.

“I want to get married. I do. But I’m scared of it at the same time, you know?” She took a sip from her cup and nodded.

“I know exactly what you mean. We’re young and basically deciding to take this huge leap of faith with another person. It’s just about the scariest thing you can ever do.” See? She got it. I was so relieved.

“But he doesn’t seem to understand why I’m having reservations. He’s all or nothing and I’m not like that. It scares me that I’m going to sabotage the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but what if I go in with both feet and something happens? I can’t even think about that.” Losing him was something I couldn’t begin to contemplate. No way. Hard pass.

Megan shrugged.

“There are no guarantees in life. Hell, you could get hit by a car walking down the street. Anything can happen. What you need to decide is if the risk is worth the payoff. I decided that Jake was worth the risk. Even if something happened, I still wouldn’t trade a moment I’ve spent with him for having a life without him in it. The worst days with him are better than the days I had without him.” I knew exactly what she meant, but she seemed so sure. So confident. I didn’t have that. My parents’ marriage hadn’t gone well. My sister flitted from one relationship to another. I just didn’t have enough relationship role models.

Other than my friends, but they hadn’t gotten through the long haul yet.

But neither did Hunter. His father had killed his mother and then himself.

That was enough to put anyone off relationships for the rest of their life. He was stronger than me, bottom line.

“I just don’t know,” I said, dropping my head into my hands. Megan rubbed my shoulder.

“You’ll figure it out. I have complete faith in you. And whenever you doubt

yourself, just remind yourself that that boy loves you more than anything on this planet.” That was true. I did know that.

“Thanks,” I said, wiping my eyes. They’d gotten a little damp. I took a breath and put on a smile.

“Now that that’s over, have you picked your wedding colors?” Her face lit up and I was more than happy to talk about someone else’s wedding rather than my own.

My girl had a tendency to… get excited about things. Sometimes overly excited. That was the nice way of saying that she freaked out a lot. I’d gotten totally used to it, but I’d kind of hoped that once we were engaged and I’d proved that I wanted to wife the hell out of her, that she would be ready to make the actual commitment.

But every time I brought up anything related to weddings or marriage or anything like that, she got this look of terror in her eyes and tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. I told her it was fine. I was totally fine with it.

Only I wasn’t fine. I wasn’t fine, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, with her wrapped around me like she couldn’t stand to be apart from me even in sleep, I would wonder why.

Did she not want to marry me? I’d asked her so many times to reassure my ego, but still. There was that voice in the back of my mind. The one that told me she was too good to be true. That I wouldn’t be allowed this happiness. I’d had so much else taken away from me, so why would I get to keep this?

I’d wrap my arms around her and she would sigh and I would try to

believe. Try to believe that we could last. That our love would conquer all and all that bullshit.

I tried and I succeeded most of the time. But there were moments when I wanted to throw her in the car and take her down to the courthouse whether she liked it or not.

There was drama at the house on Monday and it just kept getting worse. First, the sink in the kitchen was having issues, I needed to clean the gutters ASAP, Renee was in a mood, Mase was stressed with a big project and I was pretty sure all the women were cycling together.

Add regular class stress and my stress about marriage, and I was ready to snap. That night, I shoved everyone out of the kitchen and cooked a three-course dinner. I hadn’t had a whole lot of time for cooking lately, and it calmed me. I had definitely used my skills early on to impress Taylor, but I’d gotten rusty.

Fortunately, this kitchen was big enough for me to go nuts and have counter space to spare.

“What brought this on?” Taylor said, coming up behind me and resting her head against my spine, arms around my waist. I turned and tucked my arm around her shoulders.

“Just felt like I needed to take a breather. From life.” She sighed.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish I could just lie in bed and read for a month and not have to deal with anything. No homework, no bills, no parent issues. Sorry.” It wasn’t her fault that my father (I hated that I shared DNA with that monster) had shot my mother and then shot himself. It wasn’t her fault that I’d been raised by my aunt and uncle.

“I know, Missy. I know.” I kissed the top of her head. “But let’s talk about something else, huh?”

“Sure,” she said, raising her face to smile at me. Knocked me out.

“Your ass looks really great in those jeans,” I said and then braced for the smack in the chest that came my way.

“I don’t know why I put up with you,” she said, but she didn’t let go of me.

“Because you love me.”

She pressed a kiss to my mouth. “Oh, right, there’s that.”

I’d been thinking a lot about my mother lately. Not that I didn’t think of her at least a hundred times a day, but memories hit me with increasing frequency. That night I awoke, swearing that I could smell her fried green tomatoes and pecan pie. She was the one who taught me to cook. To bake. Every time I did, I remembered how she would let me stand on a stool next to her, peering around her elbow as she stirred whatever magical concoction she was making. I used to think that. That it was magic. Sometimes I still do.

Taylor makes me think of her too. How much she would have adored Taylor. How similar they are. How they would have teamed up and made jokes at my expense, but I would have loved every minute of it.

I didn’t realize I was crying until the tears dropped onto Taylor’s hair. I sighed and wiped my eyes with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around her.

It had been years, but the knife was still there. It still cut as deep and hurt as much as the day I’d found out what my father was truly capable of. You never got over grief. You just learned how to live around it.

Hunter had been—introspective?—the past few days. Not that he wasn’t always a deep thinker, but I’d catch him staring off into space as if he was pondering something intensely. I asked him about it, but he brushed me off.

A week of that and I ended up tackling him when we went to bed, pinning him under me.

“Oh, are you gonna be on top tonight?” he said, his fingers digging into my hips and making me forget, for a second, why I had done this in the first place.

“Mmm, sounds good. But not until we talk. And you tell me what’s been on your mind.” He growled and the sound hit me right between my legs. He accompanied that with a roll of his hips that had me whimpering.

“Nice try,” I said, panting a little. “But I want to talk.”

His eyes seared into me as he started to sit up, his arms going around my back so I was in his lap and our faces were only inches apart.

“Are you sure you want to talk, Missy?” His hands inched around until they were cupping my boobs and his thumbs brushed over my nipples. I was only wearing a thin tank top and the contact went right to my core.

Damn him.

“Hunter!” I said, smacking his hands away.

“Okay, okay, fine,” he said. “What do you want to talk about.” It wasn’t a question.

I sighed. Sometimes I wanted to strangle him.

“I want to talk about why you’ve been distant this week. Something is up and I demand to know what it is.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest because his eyes had drifted back down to my nipples.

“What if I don’t want to talk?” he asked.

“Well, then this is off limits.” I used my hands to gesture to my body and tried to get up off him. His hands clamped on my hips and I couldn’t go anywhere.

“Don’t go, Taylor.” The use of my real name made me freeze.

“Then talk to me. Please just talk to me,” I said, putting my hand on his chest, right above his heart. It pounded against my hand. He was nervous and trying to play it off. But I knew him. His fingers were tapping against my left hip.

One, two, three, four, five.

I loved his little quirks.

“I don’t know, Taylor,” he said, rubbing the number seven tattooed on his arm. Another quirk. “I’ve just been thinking about my mom a lot lately.”

He’d gotten much better about being open with me (we both had), but I knew this was still hard for him to talk about and it always would be. It broke my heart every time his voice cracked when he spoke about her.

“Yeah, what about her?” I said, keeping my voice soft. I didn’t want to spook him and then have him shut down on me, or flip me over and fuck me to shut me up. Not that I didn’t mind it when he did that, but this was important. I couldn’t say why, but I knew it was.

“Just… I don’t know. Wishing she was here. Wishing she had met you. Just a lot of regrets and wishes that will never come true.” The sad little smile he gave me was enough to make my heart break even further. Oh, Hunter.

“I love you so much,” I said, cupping his face and kissing his lips. “I love you so much and if I could take this pain from you, I would.” I tried not to cry, but the tears happened anyway.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said. Now he was the one comforting me.

“I’m okay. I’m fine,” I pulled back and sniffed.

“You don’t have to carry my pain for me, Missy Girl. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about my past. I don’t want you tainted with it.” Taking both my hands, he opened them and then kissed each of my palms. I didn’t know I could love him any more, and then it suddenly happened. It swelled and grew every day.

We’d both been through a lot, which was probably one of the reasons we understood each other so well. But still, sometimes I felt like he went to a place where I couldn’t reach him.

“You can talk to me. About it, about her. About anything. I just wanted you to know that. I love you and I’m here for you too.” This time his smile was genuine and I let him slip my tank top over my head and roll me over on the mattress.

My dad left a message on my phone the next day, but I ignored it. I just didn’t feel like dealing with him right now. Not on top of everything else. I could only do so much.

Renee, Darah, Jos and I decided we needed a girls’ day, so we ditched the boys to do their thing and headed to the Bangor mall. I’d been so busy between homework, classes, working at the library and training at the crisis center, I’d barely had time to breathe.

“Why, I don’t understand why this is happening,” Jos whined as we dragged her from the car. She hated shopping, but we had agreed to go to Bull

Moose, the music store, for her later, so she’d agreed.

“Just suck it up, buttercup,” Renee said, putting her arm around Jos. At first glance, you wouldn’t think they were sisters, but if you looked closer, you could see the resemblance. Plus, when they fought, you could definitely tell. They had the same acid tongue.

“Oh, bite me,” Jos mumbled and then shrieked as Renee clamped onto her shoulder.

“Can we have one peaceful afternoon?” Darah asked, walking ahead of them. “That’s all I’m asking for.” Jos rolled her eyes and Renee scowled.

“Okay, then,” I said, taking Darah’s arm. “Where to first?”

Everyone yelled out something different.

“Maybe we should split up?” I suggested.

“No, that defeats the entire purpose of us hanging out together,” Darah said.

She was a huge fan of plans and rules and knowing what the hell was happening way ahead of time.

“Let’s make a list of where we need to go and we’ll make sure we hit them all,” she said, pulling out her phone. I shared a smile with Renee. Oh, Darah and her lists.

An hour later we were leaving the lingerie store with a grumbling and redfaced Jos and several bags that were going to make the men at home very happy.

“You should have gotten that cute little cotton set,” I said to her, but she shook her head.

“No way. I don’t want to raise expectations.” Her relationship with Dusty was still in the beginning stages, and I couldn’t blame her.

“Although, it doesn’t matter what underwear I have on, he seems to react the same way each time,” she whispered to me so Renee couldn’t hear. Her older sister took her job of protecting Jos a little too seriously.

“I’m not surprised at all,” I whispered back. Dusty was absolutely head over ass for her. Wouldn’t be surprised if he popped the question soon, even though they hadn’t even been dating for a year. They’d probably make it down

the aisle before me and Hunter.

“Hey,” Jos said, pinching my arm. “You were a little lost there.” We’d meandered our way down to a tacky jewelry shop where Renee and Darah were trying on tiaras and gaudy clip on earrings.

“Yeah, just thinking about things.”

“And stuff?” She asked with a smirk.

“Nope, just things.” She rolled her eyes and tugged me to the back of the store where they had some feather boas. That took my mind off things for a while and by the time we headed to dinner, I was feeling much better.

Since the drinks were expensive and there were several bottles of cheap wine back at home that were calling our names and we got our dessert to go.

“Oh my God, I’m so full. Just roll me to the car,” Renee groaned, leaning on Darah’s shoulder.

I drove us back to Yellowfield House and we walked in on the guys having an epic breakdance battle with Dusty beatboxing as the music.

They didn’t notice us because Mase and Hunter were trading off moves and Paul was egging them on. It was nice to have someone who was a little lessintense, personality wise. Balanced out the rest of them. And he balanced out Renee perfectly.

“What a bunch of dorks,” Renee said, but she had a smile on her face.

“But we love them,” Darah said with a sigh.

“Yes, we do,” I said. Hunter was beaming and I loved it. He’d been having a hard time letting go recently and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. But I had to do something.

The next day was Chore Day (with Captain Darah at the helm) so I didn’t have much time to ponder what to do about Hunter. I also had a crapton of homework,

so as soon as the house was clean up to Darah’s standards, we spread out and got down to business.

I had a bunch of papers due that were going to require massive amounts of research and it made my head ache just thinking about them. Didn’t help that Renee wouldn’t stop passing around one of her nursing textbooks full of graphic pictures of diseases.

“If you put that in my face again, Ne, I swear to God, I will throw up and aim it toward you.” She just stuck her tongue out at me and went back to her seat on the couch.

“Well, excuse me for trying to educate you.” She huffed and puffed but got back to reading a few minutes later. She was capable of the most amazing concentration when necessary. Probably one of the reasons that she was near the top of her class.

Before I knew it, Hunter was carrying me to bed. I’d fallen asleep on the keyboard of my laptop.

“You have the outlines of the keys on your cheek,” he said, chuckling as I sleepily scowled at him.

“Whatever, you love me.”

“I do. I absolutely do.”

He tucked me in bed and I fell asleep, but woke what felt like ten seconds later. I turned and found Hunter’s face all crunched up in a frown. A few minutes later, he started thrashing. I shook his shoulder to wake him up before it got bad.

His nightmares had been terrifying when he’d first moved in with me.

Somehow knowing now that they were about seeing his mother get shot made them even more awful.

“Hunter, Hunter, wake up,” I said and his eyes popped open as he gasped. It took him a second to realize he’d been sleeping.

“Oh, fuck,” he said, grabbing me up in a tight hug. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I said rubbing his sweat soaked back. When his breathing finally slowed, I kissed the top of his head and went to get out some

fresh sheets. I made the bed by rolling him over as he stared at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice robotic.

“It’s not a big deal, Hunter. I just wish I could do something so you never had to have them again.” I climbed back in bed and pulled the covers over both of us. He was naked, of course, and shivering a little.

“I know, Miss. I know.” He pulled me into his chest and clutched me fiercely, as if he was afraid I would be ripped out of his arms.

Something had to be done. It was time to call in reinforcements.

I was pissed at myself for the nightmare. They were rare now, but I couldn’t seem to loosen their grip on me. It was always the same. Those horrible images that left me sweating and gasping and forgetting that I wasn’t a child anymore.

Staring at my mother’s body, my father’s not too far away with his face blown open by a bullet.

I had been through therapy before, but maybe it was time to go back. I didn’t want to, but if the choice was therapy or having nightmares, I was going to pick therapy every time. Taylor had been through it too, so I knew she would be supportive if I told her I wanted to.

I thought about it a lot on Monday during class. Summer had to poke me with her pen a few times to get my attention to focus again.

“You are definitely in another place today,” she said as we ate lunch between classes. I hadn’t shared my Tragic Backstory with her yet, but she was perceptive enough to figure out that I had some sort of sad history. She didn’t ask me about it, for which I was grateful.

“Yeah, I have rehearsal tonight,” I said. Last year I’d joined the Maine Steiners, the all-guy acapella group at UMaine. Dusty had joined too, thanks to his sick beat-boxing skills. I’d shamelessly used the Steiners when I proposed to Taylor and I was forever grateful that they went along with it.

“No, that’s not it, but I’ll let it slide,” she said with a smile. “Would you like me to take your mind off it? Or would you like me to sit here quietly and let you ponder?”

I wasn’t sure.

“Take my mind off it,” I finally said.

“Okay, cool. So. This is the lesson plan I’m working on,” she said, and proceeded to outline our latest assignment in great detail. I’d already finished mine, but hers was much better. I’d have to go back and revise if I was going to get a decent grade.

“And now I have to go,” she said with a smile as she got up to dump her tray. “Did that work?”

“Yeah, thanks,” I said and she gave me a wink before she headed off to her next class. **** Since the Steiners were an institution and part of the whole UMaine experience, we had our own room in the Student Union to practice in. I got there early and said hello to all the guys as they filed in. Dusty barreled in with a minute to spare, huffing and puffing. “Sorry. Got caught up at the library.”

Kent called us all to order and we started with our ridiculous vocal warmups. I would never let anyone outside of this room know that I had done them.

We went through our songs from last year and then Kent handed out the sheet music for some of our new songs. We liked to mix new pop hits with older classics to reach a wider audience. Sometimes the songs were a little corny, but what could you do?

After we tried a few and voted on the set list, we had an open forum where

anyone could suggest a song, or an idea about arrangement.

“What about some more mashups? People go nuts for those,” Trent, one of the seniors, said.

“Good plan. How about everyone finds two songs to mashup for next week and we’ll give them a shot,” said Kent. Great. Just one more thing on my plate.

Thankfully rehearsal ended before Kent noticed my lack of enthusiasm.

“See you in about five minutes,” Dusty said, getting into his VW Golf. I waved and got into my car. He really should just move in with us, but Renee would probably have a litter of kittens if he did. Because then that would mean her little sister was actually having sex on a regular basis and we couldn’t have that.

The house was quiet when I got back. Some evenings we were all there and crawling around on top of each other, and sometimes there were only one or two of us.

I found Taylor in the living room, reading a book. I savored staring at her as her eyes scanned her e-reader for a moment before I stepped forward and sat next to her.

“Hey, Missy,” I said, offering my lips for a kiss. She held an index finger up and I waited as she finished the chapter she was on. She sighed happily and then kissed me.

“Sorry, I was right in the middle. How was your day?” She rubbed my close-cut hair and I pulled her feet into my lap.

“Fine. Summer was telling me about her lesson plan and I’m pretty sure I have to redo mine because it sucks balls in comparison.” I made a face and she smiled at me.

“You know that’s not true. You’re smart and pretty and sexy and I totally love your brain. It’s my favorite brain of all the brains,” she said and I pinched one of her toes.

“Hey! I was giving you a compliment.” I growled at her and she just pretended to scowl at me. Dusty banged through the door a few minutes later

and waved at us as he headed down to the basement where Jos’ room was.

“Hey, so I had a thought,” Taylor said. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me and she started fiddling with the ends of her hair.

Hm. “Uh huh,” I said, motioning for her to go on.

“I was thinking that maybe you’d want to take a trip to Texas,” she said the words all in a rush, each one strung to the next.

I had no idea what to say to that. What did I say to that?

“Are you mad?” she asked and I shook my head.

“No. I’m not mad. I don’t know what to think, honestly. It never really occurred to me. My life is here, my family is here.” What family I still had. My parents had been buried in Texas, but I’d never had the urge to visit their graves.

“I know. But I thought maybe going back to the past might help you move forward. Ugh, I sound like a shrink from TV. But you know what I mean?” I did know what she meant, but I didn’t know if that was the answer.

“It was just an idea. You can say no, of course, and I’ll never bring it up again,” she said in a rush. I surged forward and silenced her with a kiss.

“I love how much you care about me. How much you care about everyone.

I’ll think about it.” Her forehead was still creased with worry when she pulled away and I tried to use my fingers to smooth it away.

“I mean, we don’t even have to go right now. Maybe this summer?” I laughed.

“Oh, Missy, a Texas summer would eat you alive. Your pretty face would melt, my Maine girl.” I cupped her cheek and she scowled at me.

“I think I could hack it,” she said.

“Well, maybe we’ll find out.” She sighed and then stood up.

“My turn to make dinner. You want to help?”

I took her hand.

“Always.”

Since my last class got cancelled I took some time to play my guitar the next afternoon, looking for some good mashup songs, and coming up empty. I had the house to myself, which was both eerie and almost annoying. I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

After a while, I just started playing the songs I wanted and that made me feel better. I also played what I called “Taylor Songs” which were the ones that I sang just for her. I had quite a list of them going now and I added more all the time. As a joke, I started mashing Taylor Swift songs together. Seven would get a kick out of them the next time I visited. I wouldn’t share that one with the Steiners. Something told me that they wouldn’t appreciate it nearly as much as my sweet cousin. Which was a shame, because Taylor Swift had some really good stuff.

I was so lost in the music that I didn’t notice when Jos flopped down on the couch next to me. It was only her loud sigh that alerted me to her presence.

Stopping mid-song, I turned toward her.

“Long day?” I asked. She rolled her eyes.

“You could say that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I prompted. Sometimes she was like a steel trap.

She fiddled with the sleeves of her shirt. “Not particularly.”

“Okay then,” I said and started strumming again.

“It’s just that…” she said, trailing off. I’d had a feeling she would do that.

“Uh huh,” I said, trying to get her to go on.

“I want to move in with Dusty.” I had a feeling that was what it was going to be.

“Yeah? And you’re worried about Renee. Because she’s definitely not

going to let you move into that POS apartment he has now, and she’s going to be equally opposed to him moving in here. So you’re kinda stuck, aren’t you?”

Sighing, she picked at her nails.

“Yup, that’s pretty much it. And I have no idea how to even start talking to her about it because I know she’s going to fly off the handle if I even try to bring it up. She’s just so unreasonable sometimes.” Yes, that was true, but at least she was doing it from a good place. Jos and Renee came from another messed-up family situation. Their parents had multiple divorces and kids between them and Jos and Renee got overlooked for the younger ones. That was the main reason Jos had come to live with us in the first place. Because their mom didn’t know how to deal with Jos’ depression over losing her best friend. Yeah, the best friend who turned out to be Dusty’s half-brother.

Small fucking world.

“Yeah, I have no idea about that one. Maybe talk to Paul? He’d have a better idea of what words to say so she doesn’t go nuclear. If there are any words that involve Dust moving in that won’t make her lose her shit.” I laughed a little and Jos gave me a sad smile. Since Dusty had come into her life, she’d been so much happier. I understood Renee’s hesitation, but hell, Dusty made Jos smile and that was pretty epic.

“The other option,” I continued, trying to look nonchalant, “is to basically go behind her back, do it, and deal with the consequences afterward. I mean, if you’re asking me, I’m fine with him moving in. I know he’s not a slob and he would do his fair share. The house is big enough.” One of the reasons I loved this house so much (and not just because we were down the street from THE Stephen King) was that I could offer someone like Dusty a place to live. I remembered what it was like to be ripped from the only home I’d ever known in Texas and sent to Maine to live with my relatives and how jarring and intense that had been. If it wasn’t for the love of my aunt, uncle and cousins, I didn’t know how I would have gotten through it.

Family was important. Bottom line. And right now, Jos was Dusty’s family

and he was part of hers.

“I’m sure that would go over really well,” Jos said. The door opened and my girl came in. The minute she saw me, her face broke into a smile.

“Hey, my love.” She skipped over and gave me a kiss. My heart went crazy.

Every single time.

“What are you two up to?” she asked, as I moved the guitar aside so she could sit with me on the chair.

“Just trying to figure out how we can get Dusty to move in without Renee finding out about it,” I said. Taylor snorted.

“Well, good luck with that. You’re lucky she lets him spend the night now,” Taylor said to Jos. “I know, I know. I’m lucky and blah, blah, blah.” Whatever else she wanted to say was interrupted by the arrival of Darah, then Mase, then Paul. Renee had a late lab, so she was going to roll in after most of us had gone to bed.

“If you want to talk to everyone about it, this is your chance,” I said in a low voice to Jos. “Just an idea.” She bit her lip and then got up to go give Dusty a kiss. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and beamed at her.

“Hey, Red.” “Hey, Dusty,” she said, gazing up at him. He held her and kissed her thoroughly before they headed downstairs together. I didn’t need more than one guess to figure out what they were going to do before dinner.

“So, do you have any ideas?” I asked Taylor that night when we were in bed.

These were my favorite times. When she was soft and warm and in my arms. I could talk about anything with her, and it was amazing.

“I really don’t know. Renee is a tough cookie to crack. She’s just so overprotective, which is a good thing and a bad thing to have in an older sister.”

She rolled her eyes and I chuckled. I still remembered the first time I’d met her older sister, Tawny. I’d been wearing a towel and she’d threatened my junk with irreparable harm. She still wasn’t a huge fan of me, but we got along okay. It was as good as I could expect, probably.

“I could talk to her, I guess. But then I’m worried that she’ll go after Jos and we don’t need them fighting again. It’s miserable around here when they’re at odds.” It was moments like these when I knew, without a doubt, that she was going to be an amazing mother. Hell, she already mothered most of us anyway.

I couldn’t wait to be married to her. To be living in a house together and to see her with our first child. Fuck, that was going to be amazing. Part of me wanted to fast-forward to that and part of me wanted to freeze this moment just the way it was.

“We’ll figure it out,” I said, adjusting my arms around her. Some of her hair was in my face, but it smelled so good that I didn’t want to move it.

“Yeah, I guess. Are you feeling better today?” I took a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out if I have another nightmare.” I definitely wasn’t looking forward to trying to fall asleep. I’d debated trying to stay awake, or taking some medicine so I would sleep. Maybe everything would be fine. I hoped so.

“Well, if you do, I’ll be right here to wake you up,” she said, tilting her head up and kissing the underside of my jaw.

“You take such good care of me.”

“Same, Hunter. Same.”

He had another nightmare that night. And the next. I had no idea what the hell had triggered them, but neither of us was getting much sleep and I was starting to get crabby and pissy with everyone and the dark circles etched under his eyes were worrying.

At a loss for what to do, I took a moment between classes and called Hope.

The only people who knew Hunter better than I did were his family. I’d thought about talking to Mase, but I just needed to talk to… a mom. I needed to talk to a mom who would have excellent advice. Hope definitely fit that description. She was the textbook definition of a mom. She could bake dozens of cupcakes for the PTA, organize a fundraiser, wash laundry and look fabulous while doing it.

She was incredible.

The phone rang twice before she picked up.

“Taylor, how are you?” Her southern drawl was a ray of sunshine. I just adored her.

“I’m good. I just… I wanted to talk to you about Hunter.” There was a sharp intake of breath. “If you have time. You can just call me back if you’re in the middle of something.” Now I felt like an idiot.

I heard her say something in a low voice.

“Hold on, I’m just at lunch but I’m going outside.” I started to tell her that she didn’t have to do that, but she ignored me.

“There. Now, what can I do for you, honey?”

This had been a bad idea. Now she was going to worry about him when there really wasn’t anything to worry about. I didn’t think.

“He’s been having nightmares again, and I’m just worried about him.” She sighed sadly.

“Oh no. I’d thought he was getting over those. They were so bad when he first moved in. I don’t think I slept for two whole months for worrying about him.” I could picture that. Hunter may not have been her biological son, but that didn’t stop her from treating him like one of her own.

“He had them here and there when he first moved into the dorms, but they mostly stopped. He hasn’t had any for a while and then they just started up again. He’s also been getting distracted and he seems, I don’t know, distant? It’s probably nothing, but I just wanted to ask you if there was something I could do for him.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I know how much you love him. It’s one of the reasons we love you. You’re a part of our family now, and not just because you’re marrying Hunter. Have you talked to him?” I told her about my conversations I’d had with Hunter and what he’d said.

“Well, I think the only thing you can do is be there for him and tell him how much you love him. Would you like me to call and check in on him?” Those were the magic words.

“Would you? And if you can leave the fact that we’ve had this conversation out of it, that would be great.” It felt like lying, but I didn’t want him to know that I’d gone behind his back like this.

“Sure, honey. I’ll call him and ask him if he wants to come down for another visit. Harper is always dying to see him. And we’d love to see you to, Taylor. You’re welcome anytime, with or without him. You know that, right?”

My eyes got a little damp.

“Thanks, Hope. That means a lot. Thank you so much for everything.” I wiped my eyes and sniffed a little.

“Oh, Taylor, you call me whenever you want. Day or night. Or you can just show up on my doorstep and I’ll make you a glass of sweet tea.” Before I met her, I didn’t know that sweet tea was such a big deal in the south.

We hung up and I did feel a little better. Still, I wished I could do more. If only there was some way I could reach into Hunter’s dreams and fight his battles for him. I would do it. I’d do anything for him.

I didn’t want to be obvious in asking if Hunter had heard from Hope, so I just did a lot of lurking and waiting the next few days. We were both crazy busy with projects, work and, in Hunter’s case, the Steiners. He’d been trying mashups out on us for days, but wasn’t satisfied with any of them. I’d agreed to sing with him and, hours later, was now in danger of losing my voice.

To make the process more scientific, Renee had suggested that we write down each combo and then rate them on a scale of ten. Of course then Mase went and made paddles for everyone to hold up, like it was some kind of reality show. It was all fairly ridiculous, but Hunter was taking it very seriously.

“I just want it to be perfect,” he said, frowning at the list.

“It’s not going to be perfect, Hunter. Nothing is perfect. You just have to find two songs that don’t seem like they’d go together and then make them go together. Kind of like us. Doesn’t seem like we’d go together, but we do.” That made him smile and kiss me, which had been my goal.

“Hey, have you gone on YouTube and looked up other mashups?” Jos suggested. “I can search for you if you want.” She dashed downstairs and was back with her laptop.

“Thanks, that would be amazing, Jos.” Hunter said. She grinned and shoved her headphones on her ears and got to work.

“Well, that was fun, but I have to go back to reading about diseases,” Renee said with a sigh. I shared a look with Hunter. Jos still hadn’t talked to Renee about Dusty moving in. I understood why she was scared, but it was only going to get worse the longer she put it off. It was a real possibility that Dusty’s apartment was going to fall completely apart sooner rather than later. That place was a hazard.

Hunter’s phone rang as he was plucking our a few chords and he smiled when he saw who was calling.

“Hey, Hope,” he said, getting up and heading toward the stairs to give the rest of us quiet to work on our homework. I wanted to go with him, but there wasn’t a way to do that without making it obvious I had asked her to call him.

Too bad this wasn’t like the old days when I could just pick up another phone in the house and listen in. We didn’t even have a landline here.

I waited several agonizing minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore, then I headed upstairs. If I got busted, I was going to claim I needed something in our bedroom. If Hunter was a normal guy, I’d just say it was period-related, but nothing about menstruation scared my fiancée.

I paused just outside the bedroom door, but I didn’t hear any conversation.

He must have hung up. I pushed the door open and pretended to be startled to find him in the room.

“Hunter?” I asked. He was sitting on the bed, staring off into space, the phone right next to him. “Hunter?”

He blinked and looked over at me.

“You’re so worried about me that you called my aunt and asked her to check on me?” Uh oh. This plan was starting to blow up in my face. Time for damage control.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help you or what I should do and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back, but I

was desperate.” I threw myself on my knees in front of him, reaching for his hands. Maybe it was a bit dramatic, but I was so scared of ever losing him.

His eyes were unreadable, but then his face softened into a smile. I thought I was going to faint from relief. Taking my hands, he kissed my palms.

“Missy Girl, you are too much sometimes.” I fell into his arms and we ended up sprawled on the bed.

“I really am sorry,” I said, touching his face. I shivered at the slight stubble that met my hands when I stroked his chin.

“I know. And I can’t say that if I were in the same situation, I wouldn’t have done the same thing. But there’s nothing that you can do. Short of inventing a time machine or something, going back and changing the past…” he trailed off.

“I just hate when you’re hurting.” He kissed my forehead.

“I love that you tried.” I held up my hand and he slapped it with his.

“High five for trying!” I said and he laughed.

“Good effort.”

I nestled against his chest.

“So what did Hope have to say?”

“Nothing I haven’t heard before. She suggested that I try therapy again, or go to the group for kids who have lost their parents. I don’t know. I mean… I just really don’t want to go back to that. It’s like ripping the bandage off a wound and reliving everything all over again. I know I’ll never get over it, but I’d like to think I can at least try and live as normal a life as I can.” I put my hand on his heart.

“If you asked me to marry you right now, I’d say yes,” I said.

A chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“Good thing I already did that.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right! How could I forget?” His fingers brushed against my left hand where my ring lived.

“No idea. It was pretty epic.”

I wasn’t angry with her for going behind my back. I was more… frustrated with the whole situation. Pissed that she’d even had to do that. Pissed that my past was such absolute shit that she got dragged into. Taylor had her own past to deal with. She didn’t need mine on top of it.

The nightmares came again that night and she woke me up even though she was as exhausted as I was. If I didn’t deal with this, it was going to come between us. Taylor was sweet and understanding and an absolute rock, but she couldn’t keep doing this forever. I wouldn’t let her get dragged down into my darkness with me.

So with shaking hands and a lump in my throat, I walked into the campus health clinic.

“Yeah, I’d like to make an appointment,” I said in a low voice, as if someone was going to catch me in the act. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I could be here for any reason. Still, it was a challenge not to keep looking around to make sure no one saw me. I had an excuse all ready to go in case I needed it.

“Okay, what did you need to make the appointment for?” the sweet receptionist asked with a wide smile. She had just a smidge of bright pink lipstick on her teeth. I tried not to stare at it.

“Uh, yeah, uh, I need to talk to someone about… some stuff?” I sounded like a fucking moron. She narrowed her eyes at me and handed me a clipboard with a form and a pen on it.

“Fill this out with a few more specifics and then we’ll see what we can do.”

She gave me another sugary smile and I went to the little waiting area with my form to fill it out. I did it as quick as I could so I could get out of there. The

receptionist was on the phone with someone when I brought the form back, so I had to wait for her to be done.

“Let’s see what we have here,” she said, her eyes flicking over the boxes I’d checked under “depression” and “trouble sleeping.” I knew she wasn’t judging me, but it still kind of sucked to have this stranger know all of my personal business.

Taylor. I was doing this for Taylor. I was going to be her husband and I had to be the best husband possible for her. I had to get my shit together.

After some more irritation, I finally got an appointment for the following week to see one of the counselors. It would probably be some grad student working on a thesis, but it was better than no one.

I folded up the appointment card and stuck it in my wallet. I was still on the fence about whether or not to tell Taylor about the appointment beforehand, or wait until after. Right now I was leaning toward after.

I worked a few hours at the library and then headed home to find the house in chaos. Mase had invited Dev and Sean over, as well as Dusty and they were locked in a videogame battle with Renee. Judging by the level of trash-talking, she was probably crushing all of them. Jos was egging them on, Paul was trying to be supportive of Renee, and Taylor and Darah had escaped to the kitchen to work on dinner.

“They’re going to destroy that couch, I swear,” Taylor said, rolling her eyes.

“Eh, we’ll buy a new one,” I said, going over and giving her a kiss.

“Money doesn’t solve everything, you know,” she said with a smirk.

“Yes, but it does solve a lot of things.” She wrinkled her nose at me and I placed a kiss on it.

“Too true,” Darah said, stirring something on the stove while Taylor began telling me about some drama in her Women and Communication class. It was a little ironic, given the title of the class.

“So then we had this whole thing about the term ‘feminazi’ and I think my brain is still exhausted,” she said, leaning against my chest. I wanted to tell her about my appointment, but I couldn’t make the words come.

“Well, if you need a male feminist to come to your classes, I volunteer,” I said with a smile.

“What a suck-up,” she said, smacking me in the chest.

“Excuse me, I will have you know that I have been a feminist for a long time.” She snorted.

“Yeah, about five minutes after I told you I was a women’s studies major, I’m sure.” I pretended to glare at her. There was another yell from the living room and Renee started doing her victory dance. There was lots of cursing and throwing things at her in retaliation.

Chaos.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m almost done with my training, so they said I could start volunteering soon.

It’ll probably be nights, since I can’t swing it during the day,” Taylor said once we were in bed. “Are you okay with that? I know it cuts into the time we spend together.”

She looked up at me from her position on my chest.

“Of course I’m okay with that. Why wouldn’t I be?” Seriously, what kind of shitty fiancée would I be if I was mad at her helping other people?

“Oh, I know. I just wanted to check.” She smiled and I wrapped some of her hair around my fingers.

“Are you sure you’re up to it?” The only thing I was concerned about was that. She nodded.

“Yeah, I think I am. Because in this situation, I’m the one who has the power to help someone. It makes me feel better, somehow.” She shrugged and my heart thumped an extra beat.

“Angel,” I said, kissing her forehead.

“I am not,” she said.

“Yes you are.”

“No.” “Yes.” “Stop it.”

“Make me.” She straddled my legs and glared down at me.

“Well, Missy Girl, I’m in a position to make a lot of things happen,” I said, rolling my hips. She bit her lip, but shook her head at me.

“Nope. Looks like you’re going to have to take care of Hunter Jr. on your own,” she said with a little sigh as she climbed off me, got out of bed and tried to head toward the bookshelf.

Tried, because I lunged forward and nabbed her around the waist, hauling her back into bed with me.

“No way, you’re not getting away that easily. You tease.”

“Neanderthal,” she shot back as she squirmed against me. But she was smiling.

“Sexy.”

“Horny.”

“Gorgeous.”

“Bastard.”

“True.” She laughed and then let me kiss her.

He was hiding something from me. No idea what it was. But there was something. I’d seen it on his face when he walked into the kitchen that night. I didn’t say a damn thing about it, hoping that maybe he’d come clean.

But he didn’t.

I was thinking about it the next day when I was putting together toiletry kits at the crisis center.

“How are we doing?” Mel, the director said when she came to check on me.

“Almost done,” I said, and she smiled and gave me a pat on the back.

“I know it’s a small thing, but these families often have to leave with nothing but the clothes on their backs and it’s such a comfort to be able to offer them soap and toothbrushes and other little things.” It broke my heart that in addition to the toiletries, we also packed a little stuffed toy in each bag. Just in case there was a child who needed one.

Thinking about that snapped me out of worrying about Hunter. I had it so good. I had it better than so many people.

“You okay?” Mel asked because I’d been staring at the bags covering the table where I’d been working.

“Yeah, just thinking about how much different my life could have been.”

She squeezed my shoulder.

“This isn’t easy work, so if you need to talk to me, my door is always open.” I gave her a smile and she walked back to where more volunteers manned the hotline. Pretty soon I’d be taking shifts and I wasn’t sure if I was ready.

People could call for any reason, so every time the phone rang, you had no idea what you were going to get on the other end.

I’d had several training sessions, worked through simulations of calls and observed, but actually being the person on the end of a potential emergency was freaking me out.

I mean, I wasn’t the best person in an emergency. Shit, when Hunter and I had first met, I’d punched him rather than handling things a different way. What if someone called and I just blanked?

I had to get myself together. People were depending on me. This was what I wanted to do with my life, so I had to get used to it.

I finished my shift and headed home, my heart and mind weary. Everyone was knee-deep in homework when I walked in, but Hunter was there with a plate of food that he’d warmed up for me.

“I love you so much in this moment,” I said as I sat down to a veggie burger with melted Gouda and stir-fried vegetables. I shoveled the food into my face while Hunter watched. He’d seen me eat like this before, so it was nothing new.

“Oh, thank God,” I said when I was done. I sat back in my chair and put my hand on my stomach. “Dessert?” He smirked and whipped out two red velvet cupcakes.

I gaped at him.

“What did you do?”

“Uh, nothing?”

He pushed the plate closer to me and I went for one of the cupcakes.

“So you didn’t bake my favorite kind of cupcakes because you did something that was going to upset me and you thought sugaring me up was

going to soften the blow?” My heart started racing a little, hoping that he was going to tell me what he was keeping from me.

“No. But I love how your mind works. I haven’t done anything that would require me to grovel,” he said, peeling the paper off the other cupcake, breaking it in half and then making it into a sandwich before he took a bite. I did the same.

“Are you sure?” I asked, giving him another chance to tell me what he’d been keeping from me. I wasn’t paranoid enough to think that he was cheating on me, or that it had something to do with our relationship. No, he would be much more freaked out than this. He wouldn’t be able to hide that from me. His little nervous ticks would give it away immediately. I’d known something huge was up when we woke in the morning on the day he proposed.

We’d met with Joe earlier in the week to go over Hunter’s financials and our joint accounts. Near the end of the meeting, Joe mentioned that he wanted to get my ring appraised so he could add the exact value to our list of assets. I didn’t want to take it off, but he insisted and Hunter didn’t speak up in my defense.

It didn’t even occur to me that he was taking it back for another reason. Not until all of us were standing in front of the bookstore where the Steiners were going to perform. Hunter was tapping. Really tapping. He was pale and even though he was smiling, I knew better.

“He’s tapping. He always does this when he’s freaking out,” I said to Jos and Meg. “I have no idea why—this isn’t his first show. I swear, the minute I think I understand him is the minute he decides to surprise me,” Hannah said something to Jos, but I was too focused on Hunter.

The leader, Kent, introduced them like he did before every show and then they started singing “One More Night.” Hunter pointed right at me, so I knew that the song choice was his doing. He even got to sing lead for a little while.

They followed that up with a medley but I could still see Hunter’s nerves.

I was rubbing the empty space where my ring used to be when Hunter stepped forward.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Hunter and I’m going to have to beg for your attention for a second.”

“What the hell is that boy doing?” I said, more to myself than anyone else.

Because something was definitely up.

He said some other things and beckoned me forward. And my brain just shut off. Numbly, I took his hand and dropped onto a stool someone brought out.

I was starting to see what was happening and I wanted to die.

Not in front of all these people! But then I looked up at him as he started singing. “I Can’t Wait” by Runner Runner. It was a song that I’d stumbled upon and he must have heard me playing once or twice.

Of course I started blubbering, but I couldn’t put a stop to it. Everything else around me faded into the background and it was only him. Only this man that I loved, singing to me. Asking me if I’d spend the rest of my life with him.

“Taylor Elizabeth Caldwell, you are the only song I want to sing for the rest of my life and I love you more than the stars. Will you marry me?” I couldn’t get my voice to work at first, but finally I got out a whisper.

“Yes.” It was chaos after that. I didn’t remember much else.

I just knew I’d never been happier in my life. I didn’t know it was possible to feel like that. I thought I’d die from it.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, nabbing some frosting with his finger and smearing it on my cheek.

“Oh, you are going to get it,” I said, doing the same.

He held his hands up in surrender, but I got him again anyway.

It took Hunter a week to tell me that he’d gone to talk to someone. An entire week of me agonizing and pretending that I wasn’t watching his every move,

while I was watching his every move.

“So. Um,” he said, as we lay in bed. He’d made some vague excuse as to why he was going to be late for dinner and my heart had been pounding the whole night, worrying what was wrong.

“Yeah?” I asked, sitting against the pillows as he crawled in next to me.

Naked as always.

“I went and saw someone today. A counselor at the student health center.

To talk about the nightmares.” They were still just as vicious as before, so they definitely hadn’t been getting better. Neither of us had been getting much sleep and we’d been short with each other for days. I hated it.

When he told me he had talked to someone, I sagged in relief.

“Oh thank God. I knew you’d been keeping something from me but that was what I hoped you were going to say.” I put my hand on my heart and told it to calm the fuck down.

“Were you really that worried? I’m sorry, why didn’t you say anything?”

He reached for me and I let myself be drawn into his arms.

“I was, but I knew it was something that you would tell me eventually. I knew it wasn’t… I knew you hadn’t done something stupid.” His chest rumbled as he chuckled.

“Oh, yeah? You didn’t assume that I’d left you for a side piece?” I made a disgusted sound and smacked his chest.

“Gross, don’t talk like that.” He just kissed the top of my head.

“You don’t know what it means to me to know that you trust me that much.

I never thought anyone would.” His words sent a bolt of pain to my heart, but I just held him tighter.

“Of course I trust you. I don’t know how that happened. I don’t trust anyone, usually. But somehow…” I said, trailing off.

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Soooo, how did it go?” I didn’t need to know the details, but I was a little curious.

“It wasn’t horrible and it wasn’t awesome. It was just kind of… what it was,” he said. Her name was Isobel and she was actually certified, so that was a relief. Basically, he’d told her about his past and she’d taken notes.

“She wants to see me next week, so I made another appointment.” He shrugged.

“That’s good. That’s really good. I’m proud of you.” Neither of us had been getting a whole lot of sleep lately, so I hoped that was going to change. I kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks, Missy. Hey, I was wondering. I think I’m going to go ahead and get my fifth tattoo.” He’d been wanting it for ages, since I’d first met him. He’d talked about us going to get tats together, but I hadn’t been ready.

“Do you want to come with? Or get something yourself?” I looked up at him and his eyes sparkled at the idea of me getting inked. He was obsessed with my belly ring, so who knew what a tattoo would do for him.

“Maybe,” I said. “I mean, I’ve been thinking about it.” His eyes lit up even more.

“What do you want to get?” I took a breath.

“A peacock feather. What else?” He just smiled and shook his head.

“Oh, Miss, I know why you want it, and I’ve been really good about having the colors around, but putting one on your body just seems like courting disaster.” My superstitious fiancée. I smushed his face between my hands.

“You are such a dork, but I love you anyway.” He groaned, but then I kissed him and he shut up.

“Where would you get it?” he asked and I had an idea.

“I’m not sure. Maybe here?” I said, pulling my shirt off and pointing between my boobs. “What do you think?” His eyes widened and he gaped a little.

“Uh, yeah. I think that could work for you. Yeah, definitely.” I laughed.

“You have a one-track mind, Mr. Zaccadelli.”

“And you have beautiful tits, Miss Caldwell,” he said, brushing his thumbs

across my nipples. Things escalated quickly and soon we weren’t talking about tattoos at all.

My sister called the next day and it was a relief to talk to her. It felt like we hadn’t chatted in forever.

“Hey, Kid! You still alive?” she said and I rolled my eyes. I was at the grocery store filling up my cart so I looked like one of those assholes who talked on their phone at the grocery store.

“Yes, I’m alive, thanks for asking. How are you?”

She sighed.

“Work sucks. Dating sucks. Everything sucks.” I laughed. She was a paralegal, but she still swore and used slang as much as the next person. She could turn on the professionalism in about three seconds flat if she needed to, though.

“Okay, do you need some sisterly advice? Or do you just want to bitch?” A little old lady staring at the salad dressings gave me a dirty look. I just gave her a huge smile and kept pushing my cart, grabbing a bottle of ranch and another of balsamic on my way.

“Bitching, please,” she said in a sing-song voice. I laughed again as she launched into her work drama, which included a war with a coworker over someone stealing the communal food, another who kept sending out stupid chai emails and another guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I swear, I’m almost tempted to take this guy out just to shut him up. If only that wouldn’t blow up in my face.” Poor Tawny. Her dating history was volatile and varied. She just couldn’t seem to find a guy who wasn’t threatened by her.

“All these guys claim to want a ‘strong, independent woman’ but when one

shows up, they freak out. Fucking idiots. Don’t even know what they want.” She huffed and I started going back through the aisles again to make sure I hadn’t missed anything on my list.

“There are guys who do like that. I swear. I’m engaged to one.” I was never too much for him. I mean, shit, I’d punched him and yelled at him kneed him in the groin on the very first day we met. And he still wanted me.

“Yeah, well, if you find one, send him my way.”

“I will, Tawny, I will. Don’t worry, there really is a guy out there who is just right for you. All we have to do is find him.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Kid. Hey listen, I have to go, but before I do, Mom made me swear on pain of death to tell you to call her. So this is me telling you.”

“I will, I swear.” I also still hadn’t listened to that voicemail Dad had left me weeks ago.

“Okay, you’d better. Because she’s been up my ass about it.” I rolled my eyes and headed toward the checkout.

“Bye, Tawny,” I said pointedly.

“Bye, Kid. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I still hadn’t found a good mashup for Kent, so I asked Jos for help and together we listened to about a thousand of them.

“This actually worked out because it gave me an idea for a series of posts for my blog, so thanks for that.” She gave me a smile and clicked on the next video.

“This is one of my favorites. The driving beats just work so well together.”

It was a mashup of “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)” by Fallout Boy and “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons. Both were great songs on their own, but holy shit, when they were layered on top of one another, it gave me chills. I turned and looked at Jos in awe.

“I know, right?” she said.

“What are you listening to?” Dusty said, handing Jos a cup of tea. Jos started the song over so he could listen.

“Sick. That is fucking incredible. Is this for Steiners?” he asked me.

“Yeah, I think so.” Dusty nodded along with the beat and then started working with it.

“Shit, yeah. We definitely need to do this.” Dusty played it again and again and started memorizing the beats so he could layer them as much as possible.

“This is just the kind of thing our set list needs,” he said.

“I think so too,” I said, finally satisfied. I hoped Kent was going to like it.

Some of the guys were more old school when it came to music so more modern stuff was a tougher sell. But Dusty could perform the shit out of this and it would be amazing.

There was a knock at the door and Jos went to answer it.

“Hello, everyone,” Hannah said. She had her backpack and also another bag. Guess she was sleeping over. Good thing we had plenty of room. Might be time to consider adding another bedroom in the basement. We didn’t need such a huge man cave since we spent most of our time upstairs. Sure, Mase worked out down there, but his bench and weights didn’t take up that much space.

Something to think about for the future.

“Hey, Hannah,” I said and she gave me a fierce grin. She was kind of a badass, which made everyone adore her. Plus, she was a great friend to Jos, and that made her a winner in my book.

She dropped her stuff in the foyer and came to flop on the couch next to Dusty.

“So, what’s everyone up to? Nobody else get engaged or knocked up?” Jos rolled her eyes.

“Who got knocked up?” Dusty asked.

Hannah just smiled like she had a juicy secret and didn’t want to share it.

“Let’s just say that I know of a professor and a TA who are going to be getting a visit from the stork soon.” Nearly everyone gasped and spent the next few minutes trying to guess who it was while Hannah hoarded the information with glee.

Dusty was threatening to tickle it out of her when Taylor came in from her shift at the crisis center.

“Whoa, what did I walk in on?” she said, taking in the scene.

“Nothing important,” I said as she kissed me and collapsed in my lap.

“Tired, baby?” I asked. Hannah finally leaked the name of the professor and that led to all kinds of talk of other scandals. Taylor and I tuned them all out, in our own bubble.

“Yeah. I was working phones tonight and this woman called.” She wasn’t supposed to tell me the details of the calls because of confidentiality, but sometimes she was able to give me enough details that I could piece things together.

“You want to talk about it?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“No. I just want to sit here with you for a little while.” I stroked her hair and held her tight. I loved how much she wanted to help people, but having her exposed to the nastiness in the world made me want to put on fucking armor and grab a sword and slay something.

“I love you, baby,” I said and she sighed.

“That’s all I need to hear.”

It was late before anyone was ready to go to bed. I snuck a glass of wine upstairs for Taylor and handed it to her after she put her shorts and tank top on to go to sleep.

“You’re perfect. You’re actually perfect. I totally love you,” she said as I presented it to her.

“I have my moments,” I said as she took a sip and moaned in pleasure.

“I know you couldn’t talk downstairs, but you can unload on me. Fuck knows I do it to you.” My baggage was heavy and she was amazing at carrying it. I wanted to do the same for her.

She set the glass down on the dresser and put her arms around my neck.

“It was just hard, listening her talk about how scared she is of her husband,” she said in a soft voice. “I just wish there was more I could do for her.” I wrapped my arms around her, wishing there was something I could do for both of them.

“You can’t save everyone, Missy. But you can do your best.” She pulled back and looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

“I know. But it feels like sometimes my best isn’t good enough.” I kissed her forehead and held her tight. That was all I could do. All any of us could do.

“So when are you coming to see me?” Mom asked. “It’s been weeks and it’s less than an hour drive, you know.” I held back a sigh, but rolled my eyes because she couldn’t see me.

“Soon, Mom. Really soon. Things are busy up here.” She made a grumpy sound.

“All I’m asking is for you to come and see your mother.” I held in a scream. She was driving me absolutely nuts, but if I didn’t cave, she was going to keep this up.

“How about lunch on Saturday?” I said, regretting I said the words when I heard the excitement in her voice.

“Oh, Kid, that would be great! I can cook and I’ll ask Tawny to come too.”

“Great!” I tried to find some enthusiasm, but couldn’t. “Okay, I’ve gotta go.

Love you!”

“Love you, Kid.” What had I done?

“How much do you love me?” I asked Hunter after I hung up with her and sat next to him on the couch. He was immersed in a new fantasy series that I had read and loved. I told him he had to read it so we could discuss together. His eyes bounced along the screen of my e-reader and then he looked up.

“I’m not sure, but I think you’re going to tell me,” he said with a smirk.

“Do you love me enough to go have lunch with me and my mom and possibly my sister?” I was willing to beg and grovel and pay him in blow jobs if

it came to that.

He just laughed.

“As much as I love the idea of you owing me sexual favors, I will go have lunch with your family without coercing. Because I’m a good fiancé.” Oh, he was just so smug. I wanted to wipe that look right off his face.

“Are we having a contest right now? To see who is the best fiancée?

Because I definitely think I win,” I said. He raised one eyebrow.

“Oh, really? Care to put a wager on that?” I snorted.

“Um, no. A bet is how we got into this mess to begin with,” I said, pointing to my ring.

“Then I think a bet is an excellent idea,” he said, tapping my nose with his finger.

“No. This time I’m putting my foot down. No. More. Betting.” I poked him in the chest to punctuate the words. He sighed as if I’d asked him to do something terrible.

“Fine, fine. But I’m still the better fiancée.”

I was gonna let that one die. If we got started again, we’d never stop.

“So, to get back to the point, you will come with me this weekend?” I asked.

“Of course. I was serious. You could just say that we’re going and not even give me the option. You have that power, Missy Girl.”

“I could? I didn’t even know that was an option. Hmmm,” I said pretending to think. “This could definitely work out in my favor.”

Hunter raised his eyes to the ceiling, as if beseeching a higher power.

“Why did I say anything?”

Honestly. He was ridiculous sometimes.

“Hate me?” I asked and he smiled slowly. It was the question he used to ask me. Back when we’d first met and had that other bet.

“Not even a little,” he said. “Not even a little.

“Love me?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“More than the stars,” he whispered and then carried me upstairs to show me.

“So, have you figured out when the big day is going to be?” Mom asked and I nearly choked on my grilled cheese sandwich. Tawny patted me on the back as I swigged some water from my glass.

“You gonna be okay?” Hunter said from my other side.

“Yeah, fine,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. At first when I’d told her that I was getting married, she’d been shocked and had definitely tried to talk me out of it. She didn’t lay off until I assured her that no, I was not pregnant, and no, I wasn’t getting married until after I graduated. So this abrupt turnaround was… shocking to say the least.

“Um, are you wanting me to get married now?” I asked and Tawny tossed me a dirty look.

“Well, you’re engaged, so I figured you’d want to set a date.” She didn’t give anything away as she sipped at her tea. I had no idea what the hell was going on, but it was freaking me out.

“Uh, no. We’re not getting married until after I graduate,” I said slowly and carefully. I risked a glance at Hunter and he looked as puzzled as I felt.

What was happening?

“Oh, well, I just assumed that you’d move it up.” Mom was still giving me nothing to go on. I tried Tawny, but she just shrugged.

“Why would you assume I’d move it up?” I asked.

“No reason. Just figured,” she said. “I mean, I know I wouldn’t want to be engaged for over a year. Thought maybe now that you’d had a taste of being engaged, you’d be ready to go all the way.” Did she know me at all?

“No. We’re still getting married after graduation. Right?” I turned to Hunter

and he smiled at me.

“Right.”

But there was a little tremor to that smile. I really wished my mom hadn’t brought this up. It was just another reminder that Hunter and I had different ideas of when our wedding should happen.

“Just checking, just checking. I don’t want to get an invitation in the mail without a warning,” Mom said, narrowing her eyes. Oh. I got it. She thought I was going to plan everything without her. Because I was up at college and had friends to help me.

She didn’t want to be left out.

“Mom,” I said. “You know you’re going to be the first one to know when we set a date. I’m not doing anything without letting you know or getting your approval. You know that right?” I reached across the table and touched her hand.

She finally smiled.

“I know, I know. It’s just hard to think about you so far away.” I snorted.

“Mom, I’m less than an hour away. I’m not going to plan this wedding without you. I can’t plan this wedding without you. My brain would explode. Or I’d die from stress.” She scoffed.

“You always underestimate yourself, Kid.” She squeezed my hand and her eyes were a little misty.

“Don’t make me cry, Mom,” I said, wiping my eyes.

“Group hug!” Tawny said and we all got up from our chairs. Hunter looked a little bashful, but I yanked him in with us. Someone started laughing and then we were all laughing.

“Now that that’s over, tell me how classes are going and about your new job,” Mom said. I filled her in on the nicer aspects of my work at the crisis center. I didn’t think she would like me doing a lot of the things I was going to be doing there, so I left those parts out.

“And Hunter, how are things going for you?” She was really making an effort to include him and I was going to have to pull her aside and thank her for

it later. She’d come a long way since that first weekend when I’d brought him over.

Hearing Mom and Hunter talk to each other like it was no big deal made my stupid heart all melty. He had become part of my family, just as I had become part of his.

After we finished lunch, Tawny and I volunteered (were told) to do the dishes while Mom chatted with Hunter in the living room. I couldn’t hear them over the rush of the water, but I hoped she wasn’t giving him the third degree after being so nice while we were eating.

“Oh, stop,” Tawny said, elbowing me as she handed me a rinsed dish to put in the dishwasher.

“What? I’m just looking out for him. Mom can be scary when she wants to.” Tawny just rolled her eyes.

“She likes him now, though. Because he’s going to make an honest woman out of you and you’re going to stop living in in sin and all that.” I snorted.

“Living in sin? Who even says that anymore? What are you, my grandmother?” She just gave me a look.

“It’s true though. She doesn’t want us giving it up for just anyone. Which is why I don’t tell her anything about my personal life.” Yeah, Tawny had been on more than a few dates and had more her share of bed partners. Didn’t matter to me, as long as she was safe, but I didn’t think it was making her happy. The last few times I’d seen her, there had been a dark cloud hovering over her.

“And how is your personal life, if you don’t mind me asking out of mom’s earshot.”

Tawny sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I just want to give up at this point. I feel like I’ve either dated and rejected, or already rejected all the possible candidates. None of them are right. There’s something wrong with every fucking guy and it’s driving me crazy.” She handed me another dish and I found a place for it.

“Then maybe take a break from dating? I mean, I met Hunter when I was

definitely not looking for someone. I think it can happen when you least expect it.” That had been true for a lot of my friends. Hell, Renee and Paul started off as a hookup that somehow turned into love.

“Ugh, that is the same thing everyone says. I hate that shit,” she said, flinging a coffee cup at me with so much force that it shattered on the floor.

“What happened?” Mom yelled from the living room.

I looked at Tawny.

“Nothing,” we said in unison.

“So what did my mom grill you about?” I asked Hunter as we climbed into Sassy to drive back to school. I’d been doing a ton of driving lately because he refused to give up on his piece of shit car. Even the mechanic he took it to had told him to take it to the car morgue, but he wouldn’t. Right now he was searching for a part that hadn’t been made for fifteen years and not having much luck.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty head about,” he said and I gave him a look. There was no way they just had a friendly chat about the weather.

“For real. I’m not screwing with you. She really just asked about school and you and my family and so forth. It was all very normal stuff. Nothing crazy.”

He put his hands up as if I was attacking him. I narrowed my eyes.

“It’s true!”

“Stop laughing at me!” I said, reaching over and smacking him in the chest.

He just kept laughing and I growled.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad,” he said, grinning at me in a way that made my heart want to stop beating.

“Shut up,” I said, turning on the radio. I flipped to the country station, which was playing “Mean” by Taylor Swift and I started belting out the lyrics at

the top of my lungs. Instead of turning off the radio, or telling me to stop, Hunter started singing equally loud until it became a contest to see who could irritate the other more with their obnoxious singing.

I stopped at a red light and all the cars around us were staring, but neither of us cared. Of course, one of us started laughing and then the other started and it went downhill from there.

“We’re ridiculous,” I said, looking over at him. The smile on his face made everything else vanish into the background.

“We are. But at least we’re ridiculous together.” He took my right hand and kissed the back of it.

“Forever,” he said.

“Oh, that’s right. I’m going to be chained to your ass forever.” Hunter made an offended sound.

“Um, I happen to know that you love my ass.” It was true. I did. To be fair, it was a fantastic ass.

“Not as much as you love mine,” I sang and he sighed in defeat.

“I hate that you’re right, but I don’t think I could love anything more than your ass.” I made a disgusted sound.

“Pig.” “Hey, you were the one who brought up asses.” He pointed an accusatory finger at me and I grabbed and bit him lightly.

“Ouch! If you’re that hungry, let’s stop somewhere.” Now that he said something, I was kind of hungry. It had been a few hours since lunch. I squealed with delight when I saw that the next exit had a Panera.

“Oh, so you were serious about the food,” he said when I pulled off.

“Uh, yeah. I’m always serious about food. Do you know me at all?” He chuckled and told me what he wanted.

On Sunday afternoon, Taylor and I decided to take a walk around our neighborhood.

“It seems like a Sunday afternoon couple thing,” she said, seizing my hand and dragging me out the door.

“Sure, Missy.” If she asked me to take a stroll on a trail of razor blades, I probably would have done it.

“See? This nice,” she said, swinging our hands together as we walked. Her legs were shorter than mine so I pulled up my stride so I didn’t outpace her.

“I wonder if Steve is home,” she said, glancing down the street toward Stephen King’s house. It was easy to see which one was his. Surrounding the red Victorian with cream trim was an impressive iron fence, with spider webs and gargoyles. Taylor liked to touch the fence as we walked by.

“I’m hoping the magic will rub off on me,” she said. “I mean, you can’t feel too bad about going to a State school when Stephen King went to the same one and he seems to be doing okay.” She laughed.

“True,” I agreed, distractedly. Talking with Taylor’s mother about the wedding yesterday had put it back on my mind. I didn’t want to bring it up again and upset Taylor, but we really needed to sit down and talk about it. Figure out a timeline that worked for both of us.

I hated that we were on different pages when it came to timelines, but what

could I do? I couldn’t force her to marry me.

“Whatcha thinking about?” she asked, noticing my silence.

“Your ass,” I said, giving her a lazy grin.

She rolled her eyes.

“So typical. Stupid boy. Why do I even bother with you?” We bantered back and forth, but I still had that voice in my head telling me we were headed toward something that was either going to make or break us.

I just didn’t know which way things would go.

On Tuesday night I got another call from Hope.

“Oh, hi, Hunter, I was just calling because I was making some pies for Harper’s school bake sale, and wanted to know if you all would like me to make a few for you?” Her voice was sweet as sugar, but I saw straight through her ruse.

“Um, yeah, I don’t think anyone in this house would turn down pie,” I said, walking into the unoccupied kitchen.

“Did someone say pie?!” Renee yelled out. “If that’s your aunt, tell her I want lemon meringue!” I heard Hope laugh in my ear.

“Is that Renee? I’m guessing she wants lemon meringue?”

“Yup. And probably a blackberry, a strawberry rhubarb and a coconut cream.” I didn’t feel bad asking for so many. She was going to make at least four or five whether we wanted them or not.

“Okay, sounds good. How are you doing, honey?” My heart twisted when she talked to me like that. Her voice was so similar to my mom’s. Made sense, since they were sisters. Sometimes if I closed my eyes, I could imagine that it was her, talking to me again.

“Fine, I’m doing fine. I ah, went to talk to someone about everything.” I

hadn’t told anyone other than Taylor and Mase that I was seeing a counselor.

“Oh, good. I’ve been so worried about you and I know Taylor has, too.

You’re just so determined not to let anyone take care of you, Hunter.” Yeah, so I’d been told. Especially when Joe had been trying to get me to take the money I’d inherited.

“I know, I know,” I said with a sigh.

“Well, you just let that girl take care of you. And tell JJ to call me. I haven’t heard from him in a week and I have half a mind to drive up there and pay him a little visit.” I snorted. That would go over real well with Mase.

“Yeah, I’ll give him the message,” I said, going to the fridge and getting a soda.

“You’d better. Okay, love you, sweetheart.” I said it back and we hung up.

Just as Mase walked into the kitchen.

“Dude, call your mom. She threatened to show up here with pie if you don’t.” The look on his face was totally worth it. He muttered something under his breath, pulled his phone out of his back pocket and immediately called her.

I laughed under my breath. If Hope told us all to jump we would ask how high she wanted us to go.

Hope didn’t show up with the pies, but she did make Mase go home and get them, and bring Darah with him. Hope adored Darah as much as she loved Taylor. How my stupid cousin and I had ended up with two such amazing women would be a mystery for the ages.

Mase and Darah came back not only with pies, but also with cupcakes and cookies. They loaded up the dining table with the baked goods and we all stood around and stared.

“It’s a good thing there are so many of us,” I said when everyone else

stayed silent. It was enough food for our own bake sale.

“Um, I’m not sharing these with anyone,” Taylor said, going right for the red velvet cake cupcakes and snatching the box. “These are mine and I will fight anyone for them.” She bared her teeth in a vicious grin that totally turned me.

Shit, anything she did turned me on, so this was no different.

“And I’ll fight anyone who takes something from my girl. So,” I said, giving everyone a look.

“Thanks, baby,” Taylor said, skipping over to me with the box and planting a kiss on my cheek. “You always have my back.”

“And your front,” I added.

“Ugh, if you two could take that somewhere else, that would be fantastic,” Renee said, making a disgusted face.

“Speak for yourself. We all heard you the other night,” Taylor snapped back at her. “I hope Paul never goes down on you again.” Renee snarled and I stepped between the two to prevent any sort of fight from breaking out. Not that they would get physical. I mean, Taylor hadn’t punched anyone in a long time. And Renee was all bark and no bite. Unless she was biting Paul. I’d seen the marks on his neck more times than once.

“Okay, okay, let’s do this democratically,” Darah said, ever the voice of peace and reason. She wrote down a list of what baked goods we had and how many of each there were. What followed was an elaborate sort of auction where somehow everyone ended up mostly happy with what they got.

“You’d think we would be better at dividing this stuff up after living here for this long,” I said as Taylor sat down on the recliner with her cupcakes.

“Hmm? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of delicious cupcakes,” she said, peeling off the paper and then breaking the cupcake in half and turning it into a sandwich.

She gave me a satisfied grin that turned into a moan as she took her first bite. That moan went right to my dick and I wanted to toss the cupcake aside and give her something better to do with her mouth.

“Don’t make that noise unless you want me to throw you over my shoulder and haul you upstairs,” I said with a growl.

She just took another bite and moaned again. She was going to be the death of me.

“Do that one more time,” I said, holding up one finger.

She laughed and just kept eating her cupcake.

“Nothing is coming between me and these cupcakes. Not even you,” she said, pulling her feet up and licking some frosting off her lips. I was inches away from smashing the cupcake box in an effort to get to her, but she held up her other hand to stop me.

“Don’t even try it. I am not giving you a blow job right now.” I huffed and sat down on the couch as she slowly tortured me.

“I love you, but right now I don’t like you very much,” I said. Everyone else was in the kitchen, similarly occupied devouring their treats.

“You’re so mean to me,” she said, pouting as she pulled out a second cupcake.

“That’s not true. I’m very nice to you. I recall being nice to you this morning,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

“Um, we both know you enjoy that as much as I do.” Damn, she had me there. I loved, loved, loved going down on her. The taste and the noises she made. If I didn’t have to go to class or work, I would probably spend a significant portion of my day with my face between her legs.

She just grinned in triumph, but then held out the cupcake to me.

“I’m gonna kill you with kindness,” she said as I narrowed my eyes at her.

“You’re so much trouble, Missy Girl,” I said as I slid closer to her and took the cupcake from her sticky fingers.

She laughed again. I knew she was thinking back to the first day we met.

She’d thought I looked like trouble. With a capital T. Taylor finished her second cupcake and I ate one as well.

“We shouldn’t even bother with dinner tonight,” she said after she’d

consumed a third cupcake. “Oh, I have a question. Three cupcakes is like, the equivalent of one normal piece of cake right?”

“Yes, that’s exactly right. I think some scientists at Harvard proved that just the other day. Read it in an article,” I said with a serious face.

She just wrinkled her nose and grabbed another cupcake.

Hunter’s second week of seeing the counselor went even better than the first.

He seemed to be getting control of his nightmares, which was a huge relief. I was dealing with my own demons.

I’d picked up some extra hours at the crisis center and it was wearing me out. Not physically. Emotionally. When I got home I just felt like all of my wells had been drained. I had nothing left. My own problems were so insignificant compared to what some of these people were going through. The guy who had an abusive boyfriend. The mom who was having trouble with her daughter. The husband who was scared his wife was going to kill herself when he wasn’t watching.

The stories filled my head until it was hard to see anything good in the world. Going home to Hunter helped, though. It helped so much. Seeing the joy in his face when I walked through the door took some of that weight away.

But it wasn’t all gone. It stayed with me. Permanently welded to my shoulders. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to totally burn myself out before I even got started. I couldn’t let that happen.

I thought I was hiding my stress well, but one night when Hunter was at

Steiners practice and everyone else seemed to have something to do, Darah tapped me on the shoulder.

“Are you doing okay?” she asked, her dark eyes serious underneath her blunt-cut bangs. She was a total goddess and I wished I had her cheekbones. It was no wonder Mase had been struck dumb the first time he saw her.

“Uh, yeah, why?” I asked, trying to play it off. She put her hand on my shoulder, guided me to the dining room table and pushed me into one of the chairs.

“I’m just worried about you. You’ve just seemed so low these past few weeks.” I wanted to kick myself. Guess I hadn’t been hiding it as well as I thought.

“I’m fine,” I said, with one more attempt to brush her off.

Darah just made a face that told me that she didn’t believe me one bit.

“You know you can talk to me about anything. Anything.” I knew that. She, Renee and Jos were like my surrogate sisters. I’d never tell Tawny that, but they were. Not sisters of my blood, but sisters of my heart.

“I know,” I said, sighing. I slouched on the table. “I don’t know if I can do it,” I mumbled, not looking at her.

“Do what?” Her voice was soft and soothing. There was something about Darah that just put you at ease. She was the steady hand, the calm foundation of our little family. Consistent. Reliable. Unshakeable.

“Everything. School is crazy and Hunter wants to get married ASAP and working at the Crisis Center is harder than I thought and I just feel like I’m failing at everything.” The words came out in a rush, as if they’d been lined up and waiting for me to speak them for ages.

Darah laughed.

“Okay, thanks,” I said, starting to get up, but she grabbed my hand to stop me.

“I’m not laughing at you. I swear. I’m laughing because none of us has any idea what we’re doing. We all feel like we’re failing.” I gave her a look. I found

it hard to believe that Darah ever met a problem she couldn’t handle. She kept herself together, Mase together and the rest of us together. Darah was fucking glue.

“Uh huh,” I said in a tone that told her I was skeptical.

She shook her head and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

“I know I seem like I have everything together, but I really don’t. I broke down and cried in the middle of the Union the other day.” I gaped at her because I’d had no idea.

“Why?” She laughed a little and waved her hand.

“Honestly? I think I was just really tired and had too much homework and I realized that my bank account was almost out of money and then I got an email about an assignment I had missed and it was all too much. I lost it. Right in front of the pizza place. Fortunately, Mase was with me and he took me outside and helped me calm down, but it was still totally embarrassing. He forced me to skip class for the rest of the day and come home and nap with him. Well, we tried napping.” She gave me a little wink. Darah was more close-lipped about her sex life than me or Renee, but you didn’t have to see into their bedroom to know that Mase and Darah were all over each other every chance they got.

“Wow,” I said. “Just… wow.” I sat back in my chair, totally flabbergasted.

“So. You’re not the only one who can’t seem to keep her shit together.” I snorted. Darah didn’t swear very often, so when she did, it was kind of amusing.

“Well, that does make me feel a little better, I guess,” I said.

“See? We’re all a mess. Every single one of us. None of us knows what we’re doing at any given moment and we’re all just doing our best.” She squeezed my hand and I found myself giving her a hug.

“Thanks, Dare. That means a lot. And anytime you want to cry, you let me know.” I sniffed a little and wiped my eyes. Knowing I had people around me that would do whatever they could to make sure I was happy was just the best feeling.

“I love you,” I said. She smacked a kiss on my cheek.

“Love you too, doll.”

After my chat with Darah, I noticed that Mase was watching me a lot more. I’d catch him giving me this searching look, as if he was trying to see into my brain.

I finally confronted him about it two days after I talked with Darah.

“Hey, Mase, can we have a chat?” I asked sweetly, pointing to the door to the basement. I figured he’d feel most comfortable surrounded by all his workout equipment.

“Uh, so, what is this about?” he asked, crossing his massive arms. He was about twice my size. But I could tell he was nervous. Ha. “Just wanted to ask why you’re watching me like a hawk and if it has anything to do with my fiancée or your girlfriend asking you to keep an eye on me?” I said. His eyes widened in terror and he held his hands up as if I was going to attack him.

“Whoa, slow your roll, Tay. I was just doing the big brother thing. You know, looking out for my future sister.” I didn’t believe that for a second.

“Uh huh, sure,” I said. Now I was the one crossing my arms.

He caved in two seconds.

“Okay, fine. Dare told me that you were having a hard time and to look out for you. But I was doing that anyway. Because I love you. You know that, right?

Even though you and Hunter aren’t married yet, I already consider you my sister.” Well, damn. Now I was going to get choked up again.

“Dammit, Mase,” I said, wiping my eyes.

“Aw, shit, don’t cry,” he said, wrapping his huge arms around me, but not enough to suffocate me in his chest as he gave me a hug.

“That wasn’t supposed to make you cry. I was hoping that would make you

feel better. Dare is gonna kill me.” I laughed through a sniffle.

“It’s okay. I seem to be sorta emotional right now,” I said, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

Mase rubbed his hand over his hair.

“So, yeah. I’m here for you. Okay?” His face got a little red and then he stepped away from me.

“You’re such a dork,” I said.

“Takes one to know one,” he replied with a wink.

“Mel, do you have a minute?” I said the next time I was at the center. I’d made sure to approach her when she wasn’t too busy and it was a relatively quiet night.

She looked up from her computer and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

Her curly hair was still in its ponytail, which would get wilder and wilder as the night wore on, but it was subdued right now.

“Sure, what can I do for you?” She shoved some papers and folders aside and then pointed to one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“Yeah, I just…” I twisted my fingers together and screwed up all my courage.

“I’ve just been having a hard time lately. When I go home and everything.

It’s like, I hear all these stories from all these people who are hurting and in these awful situations and it’s hard to turn that off when I go back to my regular life. I can’t stop thinking about them and what else I should have done or could have done.” I stopped myself there so I didn’t start rambling.

Mel sat back in her chair and smiled.

“You remind me so much of myself when I was your age.” It couldn’t have been that long ago; Mel was only in her late thirties, or early forties.

“I know exactly what you’re going through. But if you want to do this job, you have to learn how to shut off that switch when you walk out the door. Or else everything here is going to bleed into your other life. I know it’s hard. What we do isn’t for everyone, and a lot of people burn out after a few years.” She leaned forward and rested her hands on her desk.

“I’m here anytime you need to talk, and if you need to cut back your hours on the phone so that you can take care of yourself, that’s absolutely fine. And if you decide you can’t take calls, that’s also fine. There are plenty of other things to do here.” She gestured around the room, which was overflowing with files and cabinets and boxes of various items. It wasn’t messy, exactly. Just crowded.

We both laughed.

“Are you propositioning me to clean your office?” I asked.

“If I did, would you?” she asked.

I shrugged one shoulder.

“If you asked nice enough.” I’d worked with her long enough to know that I could banter with her like this. Not so much with my boss at the library. That was a more subdued environment.

“Ah, well, as much as I would love to have a clean office, I can’t make you do something that I should be doing myself. But, if you could do me a favor and take those donations and put them in the back room, that would definitely help with the space issue in here.” The boxes were full of clothing items that were donated from local stores. It wasn’t much, but every little bit helped.

I got up feeling a little bit better. Mel patted me on the shoulder and we both picked up a box to drag back to where the donations were sorted. Some things we got were, ah, less than desirable so we had to go through everything first.

For the next hour, Mel and I sorted, chatting about this and that. The night ended with me and two other volunteers working on a design for a fundraising campaign. I hadn’t talked to any victims, and I did have some guilt about that, but it was nice to have a night where I didn’t feel like my heart was being ripped

out of my chest.

“Have a good night?” Hunter asked when I got home. He was already in bed and reading. I slipped off my clothes and got in, just in my bra and panties.

He quickly put the book aside.

“Yeah. I talked to Mel about everything. How I have a hard time being on the phone and so forth. She was really nice. I think I’m going to take less hours on the phone if I can. Until I build up a tolerance to it, maybe? I’m not sure. I just need to learn how to separate my work there from my life here,” I said, kissing the spot on his chest where his heart beat.

“That’s good. I’ve been worried about you, Missy.” He took my hand and kissed it, then placed it back on his heart.

“Thanks, but I need to figure this one out on my own, I think.” I thought he was going to argue, but he nodded.

“I can understand that. But you let me know if there’s anything I can do, any way I can support you.” This. This was why I loved him. Because he took care of me and let me do my own thing when I needed it.

“I really, really love you,” I said.

“I really, really, really love you,” he said with a smirk. He was trying to outdo me.

“Hey, so I think we should do our tattoos this weekend.” It was a decision I’d made the other night when I couldn’t sleep after thinking about some of the clients at the center.

“Really?” I nodded. He beamed at me and I knew I’d definitely made the right decision. My mom was going to kill me, but this was important. To me. To him. To us together.

“Cool, okay, I’ll start looking around. I haven’t gotten one in a while so I want to find someone who’s good. I’ll ask Summer.” His friend from class had a ton, so she was sure to know who the good artists were.

“Sounds good,” I said, moving my hand and resting my head on his chest.

His fingers tangled in my hair. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Things were going to be okay.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I asked Taylor as we stood outside of Mainely Tattoo and Piercing. Punny name aside, Summer told me this was the place in Maine to get a decent tattoo. She was good friends with the owner, Rush. I looked at a ton of his stuff online to make sure he was the real deal.

“Uh huh,” Taylor said, nodding her head jerkily and looking up at the sign above the door as if she was looking at the entrance to Mordor.

“Missy,” I said, turning her toward me. “You don’t have to do this. We can turn around right now and go home.” She bit her bottom lip, which was sexy as hell, but then shook her head and squared her shoulders.

“Nope, I’m doing this.” With that, she turned on her heel and reached for the door, holding it open for me. I flashed back to the first time she’d seen all my tattoos.

“This one, you can see is a seven. It’s a lucky number in many cultures.

This is your standard horseshoe. Sailors used to nail them to the masts of their ships to help them stay out of the path of storms.” I turned my back to show her the scarab beetle right on my spine.

Having her see all of me like this was somehow more intimate than if she saw me fully naked. She didn’t know it, but I was showing her parts of me that I didn’t show everyone else.

“You’re really mixing up your mythologies there, Z,” she said and I looked

over my shoulder. The nickname zinged in my brain and I rolled my eyes at her.

“I’m all for diversity,” I said, trying to blow the whole thing off, but deep inside I was freaking out. I wanted her to like my ink, because it was such a huge part of who I had become. I nearly swallowed my tongue when she got off the bed and walked toward me.

Her fingers reached, as if she was going to touch the beetle, but she stopped herself before they got that far. I couldn’t read the look in her eyes.

“So there you have it,” I said, turning around quickly. “And then I just have a little star on my foot. So that’s my ink history. Now show me yours.” I smiled, just imagining what she could be hiding under those clothes. I’d probably lose my fucking mind.

“Sorry, dude, none to show.” She put the distance back between us, as if she was slamming a door in my face.

“I wasn’t asking about your tattoos, Missy,” I said, leaning forward and bracing my arms just outside her sexy legs. I was screwing with her again.

Messing with her was the best part of my day.

“Why, Hunter, are you asking to see my lady parts?” she said sweetly. Her voice when right to my dick.

“Asking is putting it mildly,” I said, telling the truth. Her eyes flicked to my mouth and back to my eyes, as if she couldn’t decide what to do. Her cheeks flushed and she was so damn pretty.

“You’re just messing with me. You said you didn’t screw girls you liked,” she said, her voice not quite as strong as she probably wanted it to be. I looked down and saw that she had the sheets clenched in her hands. Ha, score one for Team Hunter.

“Oh, Missy, if you only knew,” I said, leaning forward like I was going to kiss her. I was so fucking close, but then I pulled back and walked out the door.

“You coming?” she asked because I’d clearly zoned out into the memory.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

I hadn’t told Taylor ahead of time what I wanted to get. Rush had a fair amount of ink himself, mostly portraits, but he had a few traditional American tattoos, including an anchor on his arm, as well as sparrows flying on the backs of each of his hands.

“You are not getting that,” Taylor said as she leaned over my shoulder to look at the printout I handed to Rush.

More than the stars, written in her handwriting. It had taken some sneaking to get all the words without her knowing. I knew what people said about relationship tattoos, but I didn’t care.

“Yes, I am,” I said, turning to her. She was pissed, but I kissed her angry mouth anyway.

“You know that if you get that, something horrible is going to happen and then we’re going to break up and you’ll have that branded on you forever,” she said, jabbing her finger at the paper. Rush’s eyes flicked between us, unsure if he should intervene or just sit back and let us work it out.

“I want this branded on me forever,” I said, taking her hands. A tiny part of me had hoped that she would see it as a romantic gesture and love it, but I knew my girl better than that.

She yanked her hands out of mine.

“Yeah, you say that now!” The entire shop was watching our little display.

The other artists had even turned off their tattoo guns so the buzzing that had been constantly in the background went away.

“Do you want to reschedule?” Rush said, giving me a sympathetic grin.

“Hell, no. Ink me up.” He looked at Taylor, who crossed her arms.

“If he wants to be an idiot, I guess there’s nothing I can do to stop him.” I grinned at her and I could see her fighting a smile.

“You are crazy, you know that right?” she said as I took her in my arms.

“Yup. Crazy for you, baby.” She rolled her eyes, but then smiled.

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this to, like, prove that you love me. I know you love me. I’ve never doubted that.” I shook my head.

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me. That’s all.” I shrugged and her arms curled around me. Finally. I rested my chin on her head.

“I want your words on me forever.”

It only took Rush a few minutes to do the tracing for my tattoo. Then he asked Taylor about hers. She pulled out a printout as well.

“I want something like this. I really like how the watercolor looks,” she said. I hadn’t been allowed to see hers either.

“Wow,” I breathed. It was beautiful. A peacock feather, but as if someone had done it with watercolors, the colors bleeding into one another and dripping a little. It was perfect. Rush asked her where she wanted it and she lifted up her shirt.

“Right here,” she said, pointing to an area right on her ribs. “I want it to go like this.” She took the picture and positioned it so that the feather was lying vertically on her side, as if it had been placed there.

“And do you want this size?” Rush asked. The design was about nine or ten inches long and several inches wide. Not huge, but not small either.

“Yup,” she said, putting her shirt back down. Rush smiled at her and shook his head.

“That’s gonna hurt like a bitch for your first one. You sure you wanna do this?” Taylor just gave him a look. I had been on the receiving end of that look many times. She might be small, but that look was terrifying.

He rubbed his chin and looked at her.

“Okay, we can do that.”

It took a while to even get to the tattooing part. We had to fill out paperwork and he had to trace the designs and then transfer them to our skin.

Taylor said she wanted to go first for some insane reason, but I talked her out of it. I wanted to give her one last chance to back out before it was too late.

I was getting the words tattooed on my forearm, where I could see them all the time. Taylor balked at that, but then caved in, muttering under her breath.

“This would be pretty easy to cover up. Uh, if the need ever arose,” Rush said, looking from me to Taylor and back. I put my arm up on the table for the transfer.

Taylor grumpily took another seat, which happened to be a rolling chair.

She scooted over to me and held out her hand. I moved the arm that Rush wasn’t going to be tattooing toward her and she twisted our fingers together.

“More than the stars,” she said with a smile. Finally.

“More than the stars,” I said under the buzz of the tattoo gun.

Okay, so everyone says that they’re scared of tattoos because of needles, but a tattoo needle looks nothing like an actual needle. More like one of those applicators they use for airbrush makeup. I only knew about that because Renee went to a wedding last summer and had gotten it done before she went.

Hunter’s tattoo took a little over an hour. Mine was going to take a whole lot longer because it required more color and detail.

“You ready?” Rush asked after he’d positioned me on the table. My shirt

was hiked up and I had one of my hands behind my head. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but I was going to suck it up. I was doing this.

“Yup,” I said. Hunter moved into my line of vision, on the rolling chair, and squeezed my foot since he couldn’t really hold my hand.

“You can do this, Missy. No big deal.” He winked and then gave me a panty-melting smile. I didn’t even feel the first touch of the tattoo gun. It was a buzz against my skin and then a quick dash of pain.

“Oh. That’s not so bad,” I said, looking at Rush.

“We haven’t even started, baby girl. Let me know if you need a break.” I nodded as carefully as I could because I didn’t want to move and mess him up.

So, it wasn’t the worst pain I’d ever had, but after a while it became annoying. Plus, my arm started to ache from holding it in a weird position.

“You wanna get up and stretch?” Rush asked. I said I did and Hunter helped me off the table after Rush wiped me down.

“Doing okay?” Hunter asked as I gingerly rolled my shoulders and turned my head. This was a marathon and not a sprint.

“We probably have about another hour and a half to go,” Rush said, looking at the design. It was a little weird showing everyone in the shop my belly, but I’d had to do it when I’d gotten my belly ring. Still, that had taken a lot less time.

The next hour and a half lasted what felt like an entire day. By the time Rush cleaned me up, slathered something on me and then put what looked like plastic wrap over the tattoo, I was done. So. Done.

“Do you need me to carry you, baby?” Hunter said. He only rarely called me that and it kinda drove me crazy. I just gave him a withering look and tugged my shirt down.

Ow. Seriously. Ow. Moving hurt. Everything hurt.

“Make sure she eats and if you have any questions or problems, please let me know,” Rush said as he gave the aftercare instructions to Hunter since I was still too focused on the pain on my side. It was kind of like a sunburn, only worse.

Hunter helped me out to Sassy and lifted me into the passenger side, buckling my seatbelt for me.

“Ow,” I said, pouting. He kissed my lower lip.

“I know, Missy. But I’m gonna take good care of you.” I raised my eyebrows because there was no way in hell I was up for any kind of sexual activity.

“I swear, if you even breathe on me in a sexual way, I’m going to hurt you,” I said, wincing as he hit a pothole in the parking lot and I bounced in my seat. I wanted to use every single curse word in existence right now.

Why did I think this was a good idea?

“I definitely wasn’t thinking of that. Something more along the lines of making you tea and rubbing your feet while you lay in bed and watch whatever the hell you want on TV.” Now that sounded more like it.

I looked over at him and he smiled at me.

“I know what you need,” he said with a most smug smile. I hated that he did and was so pleased with himself about it.

“I guess,” I said, pretending apathy.

“You know I do,” he said, pretending to sing.

“Ugh, shut up and drive,” I said, closing my eyes and resting my cheek against Sassy’s cold window. He’d finally conceded that his car was officially dead, no bringing it back, no resurrection. We had to make the time to find him something else. I wanted to go to a dealership, but he was all fine with buying something off to a Joe Six Pack from Craigslist.

“You did really well. Didn’t even shed a tear. I cried for my first,” he said in a low voice that made me open my eyes and turn slowly to look at him.

Motherfucker, that hurt even worse than getting the damn tattoo.

“You did?” I asked, not really believing him.

“Yup. Bawled like a baby. The only one who knew was the guy doing the work and I swore him to secrecy. You took it like a champ, Missy. Like everything.” I snorted and for some thought back the first time I’d gone down on

him.

“Well, now I’m second-guessing every single decision I’ve ever made,” I said, wincing again.

Hunter did carry me upstairs and put me to bed, but not before everyone crowded around to see the tattoo. It was universally heralded as “wicked awesome” and I was pretty sure they weren’t just saying that because I had this permanent thing on my body.

“Are you going to tell your mom?” Hunter asked as I flipped through the channels with one hand and sipped a vanilla chai tea with the other.

“Um, have you met my mom? She’s going to murder me in a very messy way if and when she finds out about this. I’m just going to keep hoping she never finds out.” I shrugged one shoulder and settled on a marathon of something stupid on MTV. Watching other people make terrible decisions in their lives made me feel better.

“She might surprise you. Maybe she’ll think it’s cool that you have your lucky talisman on your body forever.” Our eyes met and he gave me a smile that was tinged with sadness.

I still remembered the night when I finally told him everything. Pulled all the skeletons out of my closet and laid them at his feet to judge. And he’d looked at them and told me he loved me anyway.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. But nice try,” I said, putting down the remote and patting his leg.

“It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?” he said.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sleeping that night was hell. I couldn’t find a comfortable position. Everything hit the tattoo and I was cursing my past self for deciding to get it on my ribs.

I finally passed out just before the sun came up and Hunter let me sleep until the early afternoon.

“Fuck fucking fucks,” I said as I got up.

“So I’m guessing the tattoo healing is going well?” Renee said, lurking in the open doorway. She smirked at me, as if this was somehow funny. She wasn’t a fan of tattoos, mostly because of the potential for them to go wrong and need medical attention.

“Shut up,” I said, pointing at her and slowly shuffling to the bathroom. I had to clean the tattoo, but the idea of getting in a shower made me want to cry.

“Now, now, be nice to the person who brought you not only water and painkillers, but also some goo that’s going to help you heal better,” she said, pulling out the items from behind her back.

Okay, so that was a nice thing to do.

“And, I got you out of Chore Day with Darah,” she said as I took the pills and opened the water to take a swig.

“Well, that’s nice. Where’s Hunter?” I was surprised he hadn’t come up to check on me yet.

“There’s something wrong with Dusty’s Golf, so all the ‘menfolk’ are out in the yard looking at the engine and discussing things as if they actually know what the hell they’re doing.” I snorted. Hunter could fix a few car issues, but he was no certified mechanic.

Renee helped me to the bathroom and helped me peel off my shirt. I’d left the plastic wrap-like stuff on, but today there was some clearish-red fluid oozing out under it that had gotten on my shirt.

“Ew,” I said as I used a clean towel to wipe it away.

“Yeah, tattoos are gross. Wait till you get to the peeling stage,” Renee said

with a grin. I didn’t even want to know about that.

I ended up making it into the shower, but the lukewarm water still stung.

By the time I got out, Hunter was there, holding a towel for me.

“You figure out what’s wrong with the car?” I asked.

“Think so. Mase took Dusty down to the parts store. How’s the tat?” I hissed through my teeth as the towel made contact with my raw skin.

“Fantastic, yours?” He held out an arm that was shiny with the same stuff Renee had given me. Must have put it on earlier.

Hunter helped me slick on the goo and get dressed again. The pain was starting to subside, so I went downstairs to see what everyone else was doing.

The smell of fresh baking hit my nose and I moaned. I was starving.

“You are not allowed to make that sound when I am not in a position to be alone with you,” Hunter growled in my ear.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said innocently and then made the sound again.

“You are in so much trouble,” he said as we made it into the kitchen to find Darah surrounded by plates and trays of cookies.

“Okay, what is happening here?” I asked. “Are you and Hope having a bakeoff?” That would be seriously awesome. And seriously fattening.

“No, I just… felt like baking!” Darah said in a voice that was high and definitely not normal. Her eyes were a little wide under the shadow of her bangs.

I gave Hunter a look out of the corner of my eye and he shrugged. Well.

Something was going on with her.

“Uh huh,” I said, reaching for a snickerdoodle.

“Can’t I just feel like baking?” she asked, pulling yet another pan of cookies out of the oven.

“Sure, absolutely you can,” I said and nudged Hunter to agree with me.

Darah smiled, but it was tight. We were all so used to her being the one who was organized and on time that seeing that she didn’t always have everything together was kind of a shock.

Maybe I needed to have a little chat with her when no one else was around.

I owed her for all her wisdom from the other day.

Practically reading my mind, Hunter squeezed my shoulder and went back outside to see what was what with the car. Since Renee was working at the hospital and Jos was down in her room, that left me alone with Darah.

“Dare?” I asked as she started frosting some extremely tiny cookies.

“Yeah?” she said, not looking up from the cookie.

“You okay?” She nodded jerkily and I walked over to take the pastry bag from her hands. When she raised her head, there were tears sparkling in her eyes.

“What happened?” I said, my mind running through a million possibilities at once, all of them terrible.

She blinked and then blew out a breath that stirred her bangs.

“Mase wants to get married.” Was there something in the water in this house?

“And?” I asked, yanking back all the words I wanted to say and reserving judgment until she told me what was bothering her.

“And… I just… I want to. I really do. But…” She put her hands in the pockets of the cute little apron she always wore when she made cookies.

“But it’s a lot, right? It’s a huge step,” I said and she nodded.

“Plus, my family is just crazy.” Even after knowing Darah for this long, I still really didn’t know a whole lot of details about her family. She always pulled back when anyone tried to talk to her about them. Even Mase had a hard time getting her to open up.

“Uh huh,” I said, hoping she would go on. Sighing, she pulled out one of the dining chairs and plunked down in it. I did the same and jumped a little when there was the loud sound of an engine starting up in the driveway. Guess they fixed the car.

“My family is… difficult. They’re, for lack of a better word, distant. My parents were very hands-off with me when I was little. I can’t even remember them hugging me. I thought everyone’s parents were like that until I got to school. And it’s not just my parents that are like that. It’s my aunts and uncles

and everyone else. It’s almost like a family disease or something.” I couldn’t even imagine someone not wanting to hug Darah. She was sweet as a freaking peach and loved harder than almost anyone I knew.

I didn’t want to call her parents assholes in front of her, but they were definitely assholes.

“So that means I have some messed up ideas about what marriage is and what families are and everything. I mean, I am not opposed to marriage, but what if I can’t do it? I’m sure my mom wasn’t stone-cold when she was my age.” Oh, I knew what she was afraid of.

“You’re afraid you’re going to turn into her,” I said. She pressed her lips together and nodded.

“And I know how stupid that is. I know how much John loves me.” Darah always called Mase by his first name.

“He does. He really does.” He’d fallen ass over heels for her the moment he’d seen her. Completely ignored Renee, who had been doing some of her best flirting at the time. Nope, Dare was it for him. And he for her. The men in Hunter’s family loved strong and deep. With one notable exception.

She smiled and looked down at her hands clasped on the table.

“I know he does. I love him too. And I didn’t know that it was possible to be this happy in a relationship. That’s why I was so reluctant to date.” Before Mase, Darah had always shied away from most guys. I understood it because I was the same way.

And then those boys. Those two boys with their wicked smiles and pretty words had busted their way into our lives and now we were stuck with them. I said as much to Darah and that got her laughing and wiping the tears out of her eyes.

“You know, when Hunter and I get married and you and Mase get married, we’ll be sisters.” That made her smile.

“We already are.” I held out my arms and we hugged. “Thanks for listening to me complain about my amazing boyfriend. Not a whole lot of people would

tell me I wasn’t being crazy about it.” I let her go and shook my head.

“No, I totally get it. I’ve thought everything you’ve thought already. A hundred times. My parents’ marriage didn’t work out, so why would mine? But then I look at Hunter and I can’t imagine my life without him. And isn’t that really what marriage is?” She nodded.

The front door open and Mase came into the kitchen. That was my cue.

“I’m going to… go back up to my room and stare at my tattoo in the mirror,” I said as I backed out of the room.

“Dare?” Mase said His jaw was twitching and he kept shuffling his feet.

He was totally freaking out I didn’t wait to hear what Darah said to him, but I was pretty sure they were gonna be okay.

On Monday my tattoo started itching instead of being painful. It was all I could do to not scratch it right off. I’d never had poison ivy before, but this had to be worse. It was torture.

“Don’t you dare scratch,” Hunter said, pointing an accusing finger at me as I shifted my shirt on Monday night. “I’m going to tape oven mitts to your hands.” He looked pretty serious so I put my hands up in surrender.

“Fine, fine. Even if I was just adjusting my shirt and not doing anything else.” I glared at him and he stuck his tongue out at me. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You dork.”

“Hey, you’re the one who loves me, so what does that make you?” I shrugged.

“Awesome?” He shook his head and sat down on the couch next to me.

“So, you know October break is coming up.” I was very much looking

forward to pushing pause on the life button and not having to worry about school and everything else for a few days.

“Right,” I said.

“And I was thinking that maybe I could take you to Wylie.” My mouth dropped open.

“Are you serious?” He nodded and I could tell he wasn’t messing with me.

“You’re going to take me to your hometown?” He smiled and I couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, I was thinking about it and how different it would be having you there. I made a list of all of these things I wanted to show you and, I don’t know, I got excited about it.” He shrugged and I threw my arms around him, being careful of my tattoo.

“Whoa, I didn’t know I was going to get that reaction,” he said, laughing and wrapping his arms around my back.

“You’re soooo getting blow jobs for this,” I whispered in his hear before I bit his earlobe. He made a sound low in his throat.

“I like the sound of that. So I should book the plane tickets?” I nodded and licked said earlobe.

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” he said, a little growl in his voice.

“Yes, yes, yes,” I said and he knew exactly what I meant.

I didn’t show Taylor how nervous I was about going back home to Wylie. It was a smallish town near Dallas. Had a whole lot of cows and not much else.

Fortunately, my girl distracted me by being a nervous flyer. It was something I hadn’t even considered, but when we sat in our seats and the plane started taxiing, she gripped my hand so hard that her nails dug in.

“What’s happening?” I had somehow forgotten she’d never been on a plane before.

“We’re just moving to the runway,” I said, putting my arm around her and pulling her toward me. As luck would have it, it was just the two of us in our row. Her eyes were wide and panicky and her breathing kept stuttering.

“It’s okay, Missy,” I said, turning her head so it was tucked into my chest. I wished this were a bench seat so I could pull her across my lap and let her rest on me fully.

“Why am I freaking out?” she said, her voice muffled by my shirt.

“I freaked out on my first flight too. It’s totally normal,” I said. I’d actually thrown up on my first flight, but I wasn’t going to tell her that in case it gave her ideas. My fingers made soothing circles on her back and she held my other hand in a death grip. By the time the plane started to take off, I had no circulation left in it.

“We’re up, we’re up,” I said once the plane leveled out.

“Oh, thank God,” she said, trembling a little as she lifted her head.

“I wouldn’t suggest looking out the window,” I said and then pulled the shade.

“That’s probably wise,” she said, giving me a wobbly smile. I pushed her hair back.

“You okay?” She pressed her lips together.

“I think so.”

She put on her headphones and closed her eyes, so I nabbed her e-reader to finish the book I’d been working on the day before. I should probably get my own, but stealing hers was so much more fun. Plus, then we only had to buy one copy of each book. Taylor was on a fantasy kick, and as soon as she finished a book she really liked, she passed it over to me.

Our first flight to LaGuardia was short, and I woke her just as we were getting ready to descend.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she said with a yawn. “Hopefully that will happen when we fly to Dallas because then I don’t have to spend the entire time freaking out that I’m trapped in a flying tin can.” I laughed and kissed her cheek.

By the time we landed in Dallas, the sun was sinking in the sky and we were both hungry enough to eat the interior of the rental car.

“Where would you like to eat?” I asked and Taylor gave me a look that I knew well.

“Got it. Whatever is closest and fastest and has vegetarian food.” She nodded and stretched her arms over her head.

I got off the highway and we hit a chain Mexican place that didn’t charge you extra for guac. Taylor inhaled her cheese quesadillas and started sneaking (not very subtly) bites of my rice until I pushed my plate over to her. My burrito

that was the size of my arm, but I managed to finish it anyway.

“Oh my God, I don’t want to move,” Taylor said as she slumped back against the booth.

“I know,” I said, resting my hands on my stomach. I was probably going to have regrets later, but right now I was happy.

“Is it weird to be back?” she asked, running her hand across my head. My hair had gotten a little long. It was driving me crazy. I needed to cut it again very soon.

“A little. But then, it’s not? I don’t know if that makes any sense. Either way, I’m glad you’re here with me.” Her smile was dazzling and made me want to kiss her senseless. If only I could move.

We sat in the booth until both of us could get up again. Taylor rested her head on my shoulder.

“It’s so warm here. I can’t get over it,” she said. Closing her eyes and inhaling, she looked so beautiful that it almost stopped my heart. She would still be doing that to me decades from now. The breeze picked up, bringing with it the scents of home. Maine smelled so green and tangy from the ocean. Texas was different, but it was nice to be back.

Since there weren’t any good places to stay in Wylie, we were staying at a hotel in Dallas. I’d booked one of the nicest rooms. It had a Jacuzzi tub and the minute Taylor saw it, she kicked off her shoes and jumped in.

“Holy crap, this tub is huge. We can totally sit in this together.” I shucked off my sneakers and got in with her, sitting so her feet were in my lap.

“There’s only one problem,” I said, putting on a serious face.

“What?”

“We both have clothes on,” I said with a wink. She pinched my nose, which

made me yelp.

“Well, you know that situation can be changed,” she said, taking her feet back and then getting out of the tub. What was she doing?

“Give me two seconds,” she said, dashing out of the room. What the hell?

We’d been taking it slow since she’d gotten her tattoo, which had finally healed.

Taylor bounced back into the bathroom with her phone. She did something and then set it on the sink. Music poured from the phone. It was one of our songs. “‘C’est la Mort’,” I said. “‘C’est la Mort’,” she repeated.

“What do you want?” I asked. She’d told me and I couldn’t have been more shocked. It was one of the last songs I ever would have thought she’d pick. She took my shock negatively.

“What? Don’t know it? Not hip enough for you?” I’d had to look away from her for a second to get myself together. That song had special meaning for me and I didn’t know why. It just reached that deep place inside me where my soul lived and plucked at my strings. I knew if I tried to sing the song to her, I wouldn’t make it through, so I just played the melody, my fingers aching with the beauty of it.

“Singing is extra,” I told her when I finished. She had a look on her face as if she wasn’t sure what to make of me. I kind of liked it.

“You can dance, you can play the guitar. Jesus, Hunter what can’t you do?”

She was never going to find out.

“I’m very good at a lot of things. If you want to come over here, I can show you a few more.” I set my guitar back in the case, waiting to see how she would react. Something passed over her face that made me think she might want me as much as I wanted her. Maybe.

As the song played and the voices of The Civil Wars filled the bathroom, Taylor started slowly removing her clothes. It was a good thing I was lying in the tub, because if I had been standing, I would have had to sit down because, fuck.

My girl was beautiful.

Her shirt was first, inched up along her stomach until she pulled it over her head and dropped it on the floor, giving me a little smile. My eyes roved her body, from her belly ring to the new tattoo to her perfect, perfect chest. She was so perfect it was like I’d dreamed her up.

The jeans were next, and she had a little moment of struggle as she tried to get her socks off. She tipped toward me and I caught her, laughing. It was always that way with us. Sexy with a side of sweet.

Coming to Texas had been a very, very good idea.

Taylor got down to her bra and panties just before the song ended and then flipped to another. Couldn’t have told you which one. I was too busy focusing on her to pay much attention to the music.

“Come here,” I said, standing up and crooking my finger at her. She smiled and walked toward me. She was so sexy and she didn’t even have to try.

Slowly, she turned her back to me and I dropped my head to her shoulder to place a kiss on it. I licked her skin and moved across her upper back, sliding the straps of her bra out of my way so I could devour her.

I snuck my hands around to her front, stroking her stomach, flicking her belly ring and then roaming upward to cup her breasts over her bra. They were fucking perfect. My thumbs moved over her nipples and she sucked in a breath through her teeth.

I loved that she reacted to me like this. That I could be the one to cause my girl to make those sounds. It made me feel like I could conquer the world.

The bra had to go. It was keeping us apart. I undid it and let it fall the floor.

She turned in my arms and looked up at my face.

“I love you, Hunter.” I’d heard her say it hundreds of times, but it was always magic.

“I love you too, Taylor.” She smiled at the use of her first name and put her arms around my neck.

“Let’s take a bath,” she said.

Next to the sink was a little basket of bath items, including a nice bottle of bubble bath.

“Don’t put too much in or else this thing is going to overflow and then the hotel is gonna kill us,” she said as we waited for the tub to fill up. I just tossed in a few dollops of the stuff that smelled like roses.

“If I were smarter, I would have had them bring up rose petals and champagne and so forth,” I said, mentally kicking myself.

Without a word, Taylor dashed out of the room, completely naked, and came back a second later with everything from the minibar. Being of age had its perks.

“Do you think this will work?” she said, setting the bottles up on the corner of the tub. They were going to cost me a fortune when we checked out, but it really didn’t matter.

We both got in the tub together and Taylor popped the top on one of the bottles. It was white wine, which wasn’t my favorite, but she took a sip, shrugged and then handed it to me.

“Remember that song about getting drunk on a plane? Someone should do one about getting drunk in a tub,” I said, passing the bottle back to her.

“I mean, there are worse places to get drunk, in my opinion,” she said. A few minutes we finished the first bottle and started on another, this time a red wine.

“I’m going to stop after this one,” she said. “I don’t want to spend our trip puking my guts out.” I made a face. The red wine wasn’t any better than the white, but hey, it was booze and it was doing the trick.

“That’s a solid plan,” I said.

“Are you going to take advantage of me?” she said as we finished the

second bottle. Her voice was husky and she was leaning forward and floating toward me.

“I think it’s going to be the other way around, Missy. I’m in a very vulnerable state right now. All woozy from the alcohol,” I said, putting a hand to my forehead.

“You are so full of shit,” she said, rolling her eyes. I was about to make a retort, but then she put her hand on my dick and I completely forgot how to make words come out of my mouth.

“Am I taking advantage of you now?” she said, her voice low as she stroked me under a layer of bubbles.

I made a strangled sound and she laughed, picking up the pace. It was pathetic how quickly I came and she laughed in triumph.

“You know you love it,” she said, sitting back in the tub. I got my breath back and shook my head.

“Unfair, Missy. Totally unfair.”

He got me back after we got out of the tub. I knew he would. He was good like that. Afterward, the two of us lay in the king-sized bed and stared at each other.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, stroking the side of my face.

“I’m so glad I’m here.” I was so relieved that things hadn’t been weird. I’d thought maybe being back in his home state would throw him into a dark place where he could only think about his past and get stuck there.

I just wanted to be there for him, to support him and to thank him for taking

this risk with me.

I snuggled into his side and he turned on the TV, flicking aimlessly through the channels. I was exhausted from traveling all day so I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest as he found a marathon of an old show.

“I like Texas,” I said before I fell into a warm and cozy sleep.

“Wake up, Missy Girl,” a voice said in my ear. I cracked my eyes open to find sunlight flooding the room and Hunter brushing my hair back from my face. We were chest to chest, as always, and our legs were twined around one another.

“Hey,” I said, smiling as he kissed me on the cheek.

“Do you want some breakfast?” My stomach growled. Apparently, the massive amount of Mexican from the night before hadn’t filled me up permanently.

“Yeah,” I said. Hunter got up and came back with the room service menu and two cozy robes.

We put our robes on and scanned the menu. Everything looked good.

“We’re going to be several pounds heavier after this trip,” I said after Hunter put in the order.

“I’m not opposed to a little more junk in your very sexy trunk.” He flipped the robe up and smacked me on the ass. I squealed and he chased me around the room, finally pinning me to the bed.

“No fair. You’re bigger and stronger,” I said, wiggling against him.

“But you’re cuter and sexier, so who’s the real winner here?” he said and then smacked a kiss on my cheek before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. I joined him a minute later.

And before we knew it, the room service had arrived.

It wasn’t on a tray. Oh no. We had a whole damn cart to ourselves. My eyes

widened at the sight of all the food. Holy crap. We were never going to eat all of this. Fortunately, our room had a fridge, because we were definitely going to make use of it.

As we gorged ourselves on french toast and pancakes and waffles and fruit and tea and orange juice, Hunter told me where we were heading today. His elementary school, his mother’s favorite little shop, the golf club where she’d been a member and a dozen other little places.

I cleared my throat and asked the question that had dominated my thoughts since he asked me to come here.

“Are you going to see her grave?” He put his fork down and looked off into space for a minute.

“I’m not sure. I think… I think I’ll see how I feel after we’ve seen some of my old haunts.” I didn’t bother asking if he wanted to look up his mom’s brother, because the guy was a complete asshole. Hunter didn’t want to have anything to do with him. His real family was back in Maine.

“Just let me know if you need to take a minute,” I said, rubbing his arm. He wound it around me and pulled me into his chest.

“I never thought I would be strong enough for this, but here I am and it’s all because of you.” That wasn’t true, but I didn’t want to argue.

I called my mom after breakfast because she’d been all worried about me going and I’d promised to check in with her at least once a day.

“How’s it going? Is everything bigger down there?” she asked and I laughed as Hunter drove the rental car past a house that had at least five giant barn stars hung on the front and several cattle out back. Yup, I was in Texas.

Tomorrow Hunter had promised we would go shopping and get boots and hats and see some longhorns. I wasn’t so sure about the latter, but he assured me that

he would protect me if the need arose. His accent had already thickened and I loved hearing it every time he spoke.

“Not exactly. But it’s hot as hell and there are a lot of cows,” I said as Hunter cranked up the air conditioning. My body was so confused by the sudden change in temperature. In Maine been nearing winter and down here it was like the middle of summer. I had no idea how people lived like this all the time. I would constantly be sweating through my clothes and need a million showers.

“Well, don’t get trampled in a stampede,” Mom said and I snorted. We chatted for a few minutes longer and then said our goodbyes.

When we arrived at Hunter’s old school the students here were also on break, so the parking lot was empty. It was too bad we couldn’t take a tour, but we satisfied ourselves with peering in the windows and then chasing each other around the playground. When we got tired we sat on the swings and Hunter told me silly stories of when he was younger.

We’d goofed off like this when he’d come home with me, and now it was like coming full circle. I’d showed him my home and he was showing me one of his.

“You know, I haven’t always been this handsome,” he said and I made a surprised face.

“I know, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I had several awkward years.

Hope has the pictures to prove it.” He shuddered and kept swinging. Since his legs were both longer and stronger than mine, he kept getting higher until I pouted and he came to give me a push.

I screamed as he pushed me so high he was able to run under the swing and push me from the other side.

“My mom really would have loved you,” he said as we lay on the grass on the playground and held hands like total dorks.

“What was she like?” I asked. It was so rare for him to be this open that I wanted to take advantage of it while I could.

A little smile played on his face when I turned my head to look at him.

“Well, she spoke her mind, that was for sure. She didn’t put up with bullshit. Once I got bullied and the school didn’t do anything about it and she marched right into the principal’s office. I was only in first grade and she brought me with her. I will never forget the way he cowered in his seat as she ripped him a new one. The next week a new no-tolerance bullying policy was put into place. All because of her.” His accent was thicker than I’d ever heard it and it was so sexy I thought I was going to die.

“That’s amazing,” I said. I’d seen pictures of her and I could just imagine.

She looked a lot like Hope and I always saw her in my mind impeccably dressed with gorgeous heels on her feet.

“I want you to come with me to see her grave. I know it’s not the same as meeting her, but I want to go. I haven’t been. Not since the funeral.” I shuddered, imagining how young and broken he must have been. It wasn’t regret, exactly, but I wished more than anything I could have been there for him during that time. Could have stood with him and held his hand.

“Are you sure?” I asked. He met my eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure. But we need to get some flowers first.” He got to his feet and held his hands out to me.

“Okay,” I said, suddenly feeling nervous.

Hunter took us to a little floral shop run by a woman who actually knew who Hunter was. Gotta love small towns.

“I was so sorry about what happened to your mama,” she said as she put together a bouquet of different wildflowers. Hunter had said that his mother had loved those best, especially when he’d gone out and picked them himself and brought them back for her.

“That’s so sweet,” I said, leaning into him.

“It always made her smile,” he said and then took the bouquet from the florist.

“That’s no charge. I always liked your mama.” Hunter gave her a tight smile and a thank you and we left the shop.

We sat for a minute in the parking lot, Hunter looking down at the bouquet.

“It shouldn’t have happened,” he said, almost so quietly that I didn’t hear him. I didn’t need to ask what he was talking about.

“There was nothing you could have done,” I said, not sure if those were the right words. But I had my share of guilt about situations I hadn’t been able to control. The only one to blame in my situation was in jail. In Hunter’s case, the person couldn’t be punished because he’d been a fucking coward and had put a bullet in his own brain.

“I know that. I know that. But still. I wonder how things could have changed if she’d left him and agreed to take both of us to Maine to stay with Hope and John.”

His voice broke and he started sobbing into the flowers. The jagged sound hurt me more than any other sound I’d heard.

“I know, baby, I know,” I said, holding him and rubbing his back as he cried. There were no words to say to him to make it okay. To undo the pain and the hurt and the regret. All I could do was stay with him, and hold him.

Somehow it didn’t feel like enough.

After about ten minutes, his breathing slowed and he looked up. His eyes were ringed in red and there were streaks of tears on his cheeks. I used my thumbs to wipe the tears away.

“I just miss her so much,” he said, his voice shaking.

“I know you do, baby. I know.” I pulled him toward me and we crushed the flowers between us in a hug. Hunter rested his head on my shoulder as he tried to regulate his breathing. It was another ten minutes before he raised his head and wiped his eyes with his hand.

“Thank you. For everything. Thank you.” He kissed my cheek and I held

his face in my hands and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“I love you so, so much,” I told him. He let out a long breath.

“Let’s go.”

Lucy Margaret Pearce.

The decision had been made to put her maiden name, and not her murderer’s, on her gravestone.

Beloved Mother And Sister.

They’d left off “Wife” as well. Even though she had been a good wife. She just hadn’t had a good husband.

I leaned down and placed the flowers on the ground.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, my voice cracking. For some reason, seeing those wildflowers had broken something inside me and I couldn’t hold back the tears and the pain anymore.

Taylor had stayed back a few steps, as if she wanted to give me some time alone with my mother.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come and see you. I’m sorry that you’re here and not in the kitchen making pies with Hope. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to see me grow up. I’m sorry that my children will never get to know you as their grandmother. I’m sorry about so many things. But what I’m sorriest about is that you can’t meet my girl, Taylor. You would adore her. I know you would.

You’d probably hate her a little too, for trying to steal your baby boy.” I laughed a little and wiped away a few tears. My legs were stiff already, but I wasn’t going to move.

“You can’t meet her the way I wanted you to, but this is as close as we can get, okay?” I turned and looked over my shoulder to find Taylor standing about ten feet away, her arms clasped around her chest, even in the heat.

“Missy,” I called and she met my eyes. I motioned for her to join me and together we crouched down in front of my mother’s grave.

“Mom, this is Taylor Elizabeth Caldwell, the girl I’m going to marry,” I said. This time my voice was strong. Taylor put her hand in mine and squeezed.

“Hi,” Taylor said. “I mean, hello. I’m not really sure how to do this. But I love your son very much and I wish I could have met you. I wish you could have given me a hard time and I wish you could have grilled me about my intentions toward Hunter.” Her laugh was a little wet.

I kissed her cheek and tasted her tears.

“Thank you for having such a wonderful son. He means the world to me and I’m going to do whatever I can to make him happy and take care of him for the rest of our lives.” She turned to me and smiled through her tears.

“Thank you for your son.”

I pulled her toward me and we sort of fell to the ground until we were both sitting on the grass and holding each other. There weren’t any other people at the small cemetery, which was nice. It was just the two of us and Mom. I didn’t know how long we sat there, but we held one another for a while.

“Hunter? I don’t want to ruin the moment, but my butt is completely numb and I’m afraid if I don’t get up now, my legs aren’t going to work.” I snorted into her hair.

“Okay, Missy,” I said and we both got unsteadily to our feet, stretching and bending our legs. I kissed my fingertips and then rubbed the kiss onto the cold stone.

Taylor did the same and started to back up, giving me another moment alone.

“I’ll come back and see you soon. Hopefully next time I’ll be able to tell you all about my wedding. My girl is stubborn. Just like you.” I smiled and left

one last kiss on the gravestone before turning around and walking toward Taylor.

“They have wedding cake on the menu,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows. We were at one of my mother’s favorite restaurants in Wylie. It was cute and homey and they had a great menu.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Taylor said, not looking up from the menu. I’d made sure they had several salads and other items that she could choose from.

“I’m totally ordering it and you’re gonna help me eat it,” I said. She glared at me over her menu. But she knew it was true. If there was a cake, Taylor was going to eat it. She was predictable that way.

The waiter came back and I ordered a burger and Taylor got soup and a salad. We sipped on real sweet tea and talked about this and that.

“Your accent is really noticeable right now,” Taylor said, squeezing some more lemon into her tea.

“Is it?” I hadn’t heard my voice changing, but Taylor was so used to me not using it that she must have been hyper aware.

“Do you like it?” I asked, knowing the answer. Her cheeks flushed.

“You could say that.”

Hell yeah. I was going to lay it on thick tonight and see where it got me. I had the feeling a naked Taylor would definitely be the result. Although, tomorrow we were getting her a pair of cowboy boots.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she said and it took me a second to realize that she was talking to me.

“Huh?” “Why are you looking at me as if I’m a piece of cake and you want to devour me?” Under the table, her hand slid up my leg and I jolted, my knee crashing against the table and rattling the glasses. A few people near us gave me

a look, but then went back to their meals.

I leaned closer to Taylor so we wouldn’t be overheard.

“I was thinking about you wearing a pair of cowboy boots and nothing else,” I said in a low voice, and watched in satisfaction as she shivered a little and swallowed.

“I think we might be able to arrange that,” she said to me, just as our waiter arrived with our food. I cleared my throat and Taylor took her hand off my leg.

We ate quickly and Taylor didn’t even comment when I ordered the wedding cake with two forks for dessert. The cake was delicious, but there was something else I wanted in my mouth a lot more. I paid the check and we hurried out. Apparently someone was just as eager as I was.

“I know I’ve heard stories about people having sex while driving, but that seems like a terrible idea on the highway,” Taylor said as we slid into the car and I pulled out of the parking lot. “If not for the possibility of ending up in fiery crash, I would be in your lap right now.”

I clenched the steering wheel so hard I thought I was going to snap it in half. Somehow we made it back to the hotel without damaging the rental car, ourselves or breaking any laws, but it was close.

“Come on, come on,” I growled at the elevator that was slower than hell.

“Anxious, are we?” Taylor said, getting on her tiptoes to speak in my ear as she slid one hand down the front of my jeans. I bit back every single curse I ever knew and sighed in relief when the doors opened. I was about to corner Taylor when another couple got in the elevator with us. I clenched my fists.

Longest elevator ride ever. I thought I was going to die. As soon as the doors opened on our floor, I grabbed Taylor, threw her over my shoulder, ignored her protests and stormed down the hall to our room.

I had to fumble for a second with the swipe key, but I got it on the second try. Before she could take a breath, I threw her on the bed and dived on top of her.

“Eager, Mr. Zaccadelli?” She had no idea.

“Yes, Miss Caldwell,” I groaned as I hauled her shirt over her head, almost ripping it in the process. As quick as I could I had the rest of her undressed and waiting for me.

“It is completely unfair that I’m naked and you’re not. What happened to equality?” she said, pouting at me. I started to take my shirt off, but she smacked at my hands and refused to let me do it.

“There you are,” she said once she’d yanked my pants and boxers down and I’d kicked them off my feet. I was about to push her back so I could kiss her, but she put her mouth on me and my brain exploded. I forgot my name, I forgot everything except that Taylor Elizabeth Caldwell was licking my dick.

She seemed intent on taking me all the way, but I put my hands on her head and pulled her away with a little pop that nearly made me blow right then.

“I think I’d rather be inside you,” I said with a smile. She got off her knees in one smooth motion and pulled me back onto the bed with her. I loved the fact that since she was on the pill we didn’t have to have anything between us.

I kissed her slowly, melding her tongue with mine. I licked and tasted my way down her luscious body, so amazed that she was here and she was mine.

When I got to the apex between her thighs, I moved down to the edge of the bed and then pulled her so her legs were hanging over my shoulders. I imagined she was wearing cowboy boots as I kissed her in a way that made her arch up off the bed and moan.

Our neighbors on the other side of the wall were going to get quite a performance because Taylor definitely wasn’t being quiet. Especially when I made her come, one, two, three times before I moved back up onto the bed and slide inside her.

We moaned in unison and I leaned down to kiss her before I flipped both of us so she was on top. Watching Taylor move up and down on me, taking her pleasure from me, was the height of my fucking life. She came quickly and then, so did I. Panting, she leaned down and kissed me.

“Guess we didn’t last very long,” she said.

“Well, there’s always time for round two. And three,” I said and she grinned.

We made it to round four before we both decided we were too tired and hungry to continue.

“Room service?” I said, groping for the menu that I’d set on the bedside table.

“Room service,” Taylor said, giving me a tired thumbs up.

“Fuuuuucccckkkkk,” Hunter said under his breath as I modeled my first pair of cowboy boots for him at the Boot Barn. It was literally called that. Boots were not cheap, but these ones were brown and turquoise and cute as hell.

“You like?” I asked, striking a pose. It was so warm today, I’d had to wear a tank top and shorts again and I was still dying. I definitely wasn’t made to live here.

“You could say that,” he said, finally looking at my face. Mmmm, that look in his eyes was predatory and possessive and I was still weak from the night before. It was nice to know that we could still go multiple rounds and be left wanting more.

“It’s missing something,” he said, stroking his chin where his stubble was coming in. I shivered, remembering how it felt on the insides of my thighs.

Hunter walked toward me and plunked a cowboy hat on my head.

“There. Now you’re perfect.” I tipped the hat back so he could kiss me.

“Aren’t you going to get some?” I asked and then pestered him until he found a black on black pair that he liked and fit well.

“Next time we come, I think we should hit Austin. It’s a super cool city and I think you’d really like it,” he said as we sat down to lunch at a small café that catered to vegans and vegetarians. Another thing I loved was that Hunter never made me feel guilty for being a vegetarian. He never rolled his eyes when I asked for a substitution, and he always made sure that the place we ended up going would have something for me to eat.

“Next time?” I asked, picking up my veggie sandwich.

“Next time,” he said with a smile as he cut a piece of chicken.

The next few days were spent shopping and eating and taking pictures and having sex. A lot of sex. We were both horny as hell for some reason, so we took every chance we got to get naked.

It was almost ridiculous.

“Are you happy?” Hunter asked after our plane had taken off for our trip home.

“Yes. Are you?” He was a little more tan from our hours walking around in the Texas sun, but I’d been sure to slather on the sunblock so my skin hadn’t changed at all.

“I am. And I feel…” he trailed off, looking for the right word. “I feel calmer? More at peace.” That made me so happy I wanted to cry. This trip had definitely been a good idea.

“No regrets?” I said.

“No regrets.”

We didn’t roll in to Yellowfield House until two in the morning and I was so tired I could barely get out of the car. But all the lights were on in the house and when we walked in it was like it was early evening instead of the middle of the night. Everyone was up and chatting while playing Cards Against Humanity at the dining table.

“Welcome home!” Renee cheered, getting up to hug us both.

“We were only gone for a few days,” I said as she clutched me tight.

“Doesn’t matter. We still missed you.” Everyone lined up to hug us and then we were shoved into chairs and handed cups of tea and snacks.

“How was it?” Mase asked.

I was beyond tired, but they had all stayed up and waited for us, so we could stick it out a little bit longer.

“You want to go first?” I said, looking at Hunter.

“Sure, Missy.”

I ended up falling asleep at the table while Hunter gave the summary of the trip. Next thing I knew, I was waking up and the sun was out.

“Oh God,” I said, rolling over. My back hurt from being crunched in a terrible airplane seat for hours.

“Everything okay?” Hunter said from his position next to me in bed. He had my e-reader out and looked fresh as a daisy. Bastard.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a plane instead of riding in one,” I said and my voice came out as a croak.

“Aw, poor Missy. Do you want me to get you something?” He set the ereader aside and looked down at me with concern.

“Maybe some tea with honey? And probably some aspirin. Shit.” I rested back against the pillows and sort of fell asleep again until Hunter brought me the tea, along with a croissant and some fruit.

“You take such good care of me,” I said, taking the tea and sipping it. The

hot liquid was heaven on my dry throat.

“I like taking care of you. I never thought I would want to do something like that. Thought it would tie me down,” he said, shaking his head. “Clearly, I was an idiot as well as an asshole.”

I snorted.

“Yeah, you were both, but then, I punched you when we first met, so we were both not on our best behavior.” He laughed and got back into bed with me.

“You ready to go back to class?” I made a face.

“No. I was hoping I could go a few more hours without thinking about it, but I guess not.” Hunter didn’t look sorry for bringing it up.

I spent most of the day loafing on the living room couch reading as everyone else got stuff done. Hunter had more energy than I did, so he was on laundry duty, bless him.

“Was he really okay?” Mase came to ask while Hunter was upstairs folding.

“Yeah, he really was.” Mase sat down next to me with a sigh of relief. He’d called during the trip and I’d told him about the visit to Hunter’s mother’s grave.

“I think it was good for him. Not closure, exactly, but it gave him some peace.” Mase nodded.

“That’s really good. Mom and Dad were really concerned when he said he was going back, but they were relieved when he said he was taking you. I never thought I would see him be able to go back there. Really, Taylor. It’s amazing.”

He was acting like I had done all the work when really it was all Hunter.

“He’s stronger than he knows,” I said, and then we had to shut up because Hunter came back downstairs.

“You were talking about me, weren’t you?” he said with a smirk.

“Not everything is about you, asshole,” I said, winking at Mase so Hunter couldn’t see.

“Oh, I think everything is about me for you, Missy,” he said, hopping over the back of the couch and planting himself next to me.

“You should be careful. If your head gets any bigger you might not be able

to walk.” I rubbed the top of his head, which was prickly because he’d cut his hair this morning. Sometimes I wondered what he’d look like if he let it grow longer, but I’d never ask him to grow it for me if he didn’t want to.

“You love my big head.” I narrowed my eyes. “You love it so much you’re gonna marry it.”

There it was again. I’d been thinking about marriage a lot, especially since we’d visited his mother’s grave. I’d almost felt guilty that he was opening himself up to me while I was being so reluctant about getting married.

I just couldn’t get over my hang-ups. Maybe I should make an appointment with a counselor and talk things out. I just couldn’t tell if what I was feeling was normal, or if I was being crazy.

“Yeah, I am,” I said and hoped he would change the subject. I didn’t want to fight about it. We’d had such a good trip and I wanted to ride that goodness for a while.

Of course, life had a way of slapping you in the face and I got slapped. Big time.

Something was up with Taylor. We’d been back from our trip for three weeks and she was… different. There wasn’t any other way to describe it. She was tired all the time. I’d never known her to be a big nap taker and she was crashing whenever she came back from classes. It was a struggle to get her up in the morning.

I’d also never known her to be so scatterbrained. She lost her car keys, her notes, her phone, her e-reader.

“Are you sure you’re not sick?” I asked.

“With what? Forgetful brain disease?” She didn’t like me talking about it and I wasn’t sure if I should mention it to anyone. I didn’t know what to do, so finally one night when Taylor had gone up to bed early, I cornered Renee. There was definitely something to be said about having a nurse in the house.

“Hey, so something is up with Taylor and I wanted to get your professional opinion.” She didn’t have that dazed look she got when she was studying and she wasn’t fighting with Paul currently so I figured I was safe asking.

Her bright blue eyes narrowed a little.

“I’m not sure I should be talking to you about her without her knowing, Hunter.” Uh oh. I’d crossed one of those lines I hadn’t known I was crossing until I was over it. Shit.

“It’s nothing, forget it,” I said, putting my hands up and backing away.

Renee could be intense and I didn’t want to be the target of her wrath.

“Uh huh,” she said, crossing her arms, her eyes still narrowed. I got away as quick as I could and made a note never to do that again.

I was woken early the next morning by Taylor wrenching herself out of my arms and running to the bathroom where she hurled in the toilet. It took me a second to figure out what was happening and to run to her side to hold back her hair. As soon as she was done, I handed her a glass of water and then her toothbrush.

“Are you okay?” I asked as she swished the water around her mouth and spat in the sink.

“It just came on so sudden. Woke me up. I must have eaten something bad.” She grabbed the toothpaste and vigorously brushed her teeth, but she wouldn’t look me in the eye. Something was going on and we needed to sit down and talk about it. As soon as she was done with her teeth, she pushed me aside and got back into bed.

“Are you sure? Because you’ve been a little off since we got back and it’s starting to freak me out, Taylor.” She opened her eyes as I sat in bed, propped up by the headboard.

“Just tired. Maybe I picked something up there. I don’t know. I just want to go back to sleep, okay?” She closed her eyes again, effectively ending the conversation. I knew I shouldn’t take that for an answer, but she did look tired and I didn’t want to be an asshole. So I let her go back to sleep and vowed that if anything else weird happened, I’d confront her about it.

But then something happened and I didn’t have to.

“How you doing?” Renee asked me over and over. It was driving me crazy.

She’d never been this concerned about my health before. I mean, she’d been the one who had saved my ass when I had that UTI not long ago, but this was excessive.

“I’m fine,” I said each and every time because she was getting a little creepy about the whole thing. Why was everyone so concerned about me all of a sudden? Sure, I was really tired and didn’t feel good a lot, but I figured it was just a bug I’d picked up in Texas. Probably something from the stupid airplane.

Those things were flying germ incubators.

I thought things were getting better until I woke up early in the morning and started puking. The second morning in a row that I got sick, Hunter put his foot down and told me that I needed to go to the doctor. He was completely oblivious about what could be wrong with me and I wanted to keep him that way as long as possible.

I promised him that I would head to the clinic that afternoon, but I called Renee in a panic instead.

“I need you,” I said and she dropped everything to meet me in the parking lot.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” she asked, but I was pretty sure she knew exactly what was happening. Renee wasn’t stupid and neither was I. “I think…” I couldn’t say the words out loud. Renee gave me a sad smile and pulled me into a hug. I didn’t know I was crying until she pulled back and started wiping the tears from my face.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re gonna get you a few tests and we’ll go from there, okay? Take a deep breath for me, sweetheart.” Renee had her calming nurse’s voice on and it did help a little. I was shaking a little, so she shoved me into her car and drove me to a nearby pharmacy. She didn’t even ask me before she stopped the car, told me she would be right back and to sit tight.

While she was gone, I stared out of the windshield and tried not to let my thoughts gallop ahead of the situation. I failed.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

How could I be pregnant? I was on the pill and I was religious about taking them. This had to be some sort of weird anomaly. It wasn’t even time for my period yet. I was due to start in a few days, but my usual PMS was absent.

My breaths stuttered in my lungs, as if they wouldn’t fully expand and I put my head down on my knees.

Renee came back with a bag full of tests.

“Oh my God, you should have seen the face of the guy who bagged these up. I thought he was going to die from embarrassment. I mean, it was hilarious.”

I gave her a look that told her I wasn’t finding much humor in the current situation.

“Yeah, sorry. Okay, do you want to go back to the house? No one should be home, but you never know.” Fuck. I didn’t want to deal with seeing anyone.

“I can take you to the hospital and we can do it in one of the bathrooms if you want,” she said when I didn’t immediately jump on that first plan.

The second plan wasn’t ideal either, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go unless I wanted to walk down the street and ring Stephen King’s doorbell.

“Hospital,” I said, my voice rough.

I’d watched this scene many times in movies and read it in books, but nothing prepared me for the absolute terror of sitting in a bathroom and waiting for those stupid lines to appear or not appear.

Renee held my hand and told me soothing things, but I was so out of it I didn’t even know what she was talking about.

“It’s okay,” she said and then the timer on my phone dinged.

“Do you want me to look?” she asked as we both stared at the little white stick sitting on the edge of the sink.

“No,” I said, pushing off from the wall. This was my mess and I was going to deal with it. I rolled my shoulders and took the three steps to get to the sink.

I picked up the stick with trembling hands and saw the word PREGNANT on the digital test.

Eight letters. Rearranged they would spell something completely different, but in this particular order they meant that I currently had a baby inside me.

“Fuck,” I said, dropping the test.

Renee rushed over and picked it up.

“We can do another one, but false positives are extremely rare,” she said and for a second I wished she didn’t know so much about this.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. I didn’t need another test to tell me what I already knew.

I was knocked up. Had a bun in the oven. Was with child. All those incredibly stupid euphemisms that meant that I had a passenger aboard my uterus.

“Taylor,” Renee said, grabbing my hands and forcing me to look at her.

“I’m going to take you home, okay? We’ll sit down and figure this out. You don’t need to make any decisions right now. We’re going to figure this out.

Okay, sweetheart?” I wanted to snap at her for calling me that, but I didn’t have the brainpower to do so. She shuffled me out of the bathroom and back out to her car. She even buckled my seatbelt for me because I just couldn’t.

On the drive back to the house she left the radio off and kept talking to me.

She wasn’t talking about anything in particular, just her classes and her homework and other random things.

The chatter helped me keep my grip on sanity so I didn’t fly off in a thousand different directions.

Renee hurried me into the house and sat me on the living room couch before brewing me some lemon ginger tea and bringing it to me. I was grateful to have something solid to hold onto because the world was starting to feel like it was going to float away from me. Or I was going to float away from it.

“How are you feeling?” Renee asked. She’d been staring at me, as if waiting for me to talk or cry or do something.

“Honestly? I have no fucking idea. Right now I almost feel like I’m in a play or movie or something. That this isn’t real and any minute now I’m going to realize that this is a joke or a mistake and I can go back to normal.” But that wasn’t going to happen. Renee patted my shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to. Whatever you want to do, that’s what we’ll do.” For someone who flew off the handle a lot, Renee was amazing in a crisis. As long as it wasn’t her crisis. I was so glad I’d called her.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it. What is there to talk about? I’m pregnant. Holy shit, Renee, I’m pregnant.” The word felt so foreign in my mouth. I couldn’t wrap my tongue around it.

“Yeah, babe, you are. But I have some very good news. You have a man in your life that loves the shit out of you.” Hunter. Oh, how could I not be thinking about him? I’d gone straight to think of how this affected me first, and had barely given him a thought.

“Hunter,” I said and Renee nodded.

“You’re going to have to tell him. You don’t have to do it now, but he’s going to figure it out and sooner rather than later is usually the best policy. Then you aren’t alone. You’re not alone, Taylor. Do you hear me? You are not alone in this.” She squeezed my hand so tight that it hurt.

“I know,” I said and then the tears came again. I honestly didn’t even know why I was crying. I was just totally and completely overwhelmed by it all. I couldn’t handle it. There was just too much. I wanted a distraction from all the mental explosions and questions and all the other insanity that was happening in my head, but nothing was going to push that aside right now. I was in the thick of it and I couldn’t see a way out.

Renee sat with me as I drank three cups of tea and stared at the TV, flipping through channels. I didn’t know what else to do. What else could I do? I had to wait until Hunter got home from work at the library and I knew I was going to have to tell him first thing. There was no way I could lie to his face. He knew me far too well.

Jos banged through the door and Renee rushed to tell her that she should go downstairs, but Jos wasn’t having that.

“What’s wrong?” Jos said, coming around the corner and staring at me.

“What happened? You’re freaking me out, don’t do this to me.” She had her hand on her chest and her skin had gone so white I thought she was going to faint. No point beating around the bush. Everyone was going to know sooner or later and I was too emotionally exhausted to bother putting up a front.

“I’m pregnant,” I said and she collapsed into the recliner with relief.

“Holy fuck, do not do that to me ever again. I thought someone had died.”

She closed her eyes and started to cry and then it dawned on me why she was so upset.

“Oh, Jos, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m an asshole.” Jos’ best friend had been killed in a car accident so it was only natural she would think that was what had happened.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the corner of her sleeve.

“I’m sorry. I just… I’m so glad no one is dead. But why are you so upset?”

Was she serious?

Jos looked from me to Renee and back.

“I mean, you’re already engaged and you’re graduating soon-ish. What’s

the big deal?” She sniffed and wiped her face again.

“Do I really have to lay it out for you?” I asked, but she put her hands up.

“Sorry, sorry. Just trying to be positive.” She wasn’t helping. I was about to go up to my room when Darah walked in, followed by Mase. Of course, they saw us all in the living room and wanted to be filled in on what was going on.

“For real?” Mase said, his face breaking into a huge smile. “I’m going to be an uncle?” Well, someone was happy about it, at least. So happy that he grabbed me up in a bear hug and whirled me around the room and even cried. And right in the middle of everything, Hunter got home.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” he said, tossing his bag down and staring at Mase as he gently set me on my feet. I was still a little dizzy from all the spinning around.

Fuck. The time had come. I wanted to throw up again, but this time it wasn’t because of the baby.

The baby. I had a baby inside me. I looked down and pressed my hand to my lower stomach.

I looked up to meet Hunter’s eyes, which were wide as dinner plates.

He’d noticed where my hand had gone.

“You’re not,” he said. “Are you?”

Now or never.

“Yeah. I’m pregnant.”

I thought my heart was going to fucking burst out of my chest. My feet took me across the room, pushing people out of the way to get to Taylor.

I seized her and held her tight. Maybe too tight, but she didn’t ask me to let go.

“You’re pregnant?” My voice cracked and I was on the verge of absolutely losing it. She nodded.

“Oh my God, Missy. Oh my God.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“Hunter, I can’t breathe,” she said, her words muffled by my shirt. I was holding her way too tight. Shit.

I set her down and stepped back.

“Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? Can I get you anything?” What could I do? What did she need? I had no fucking idea.

This was why she’d been acting so weird. I should have seen it earlier. I was an idiot with my head up my ass.

“I’m okay,” she said and it finally clicked that she was not as excited as I was about this. I led her to the couch and we sat down. At some point everyone else had left the room so it was just the two of us.

“Are you okay? Taylor, I’m going to need you to talk to me about this. I’m sorry, I should have asked how you were doing first.” I reached out to her, but I

had no idea what to do, how to offer her comfort. I needed a fucking manual or something.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I’m freaking the fuck out, to be honest. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s happening. I just… I think I’m still in shock. It’s just… How is this happening? I’m not… I mean… What?” She just gave me a little surprised laugh and I pulled her into my arms.

“We’ll figure this out. Okay?” I tamped down my elation for the moment. I could say that I was there for her all I wanted, but she was the one this was happening to right now. She would be the one to go through the pregnancy. All I could do was support her along the way.

“How is this happening?” she said into my shoulder. I almost made a sarcastic answer, but then she might have slapped me. And rightfully so.

“Can I get you anything? Anything at all. You name it and it’s yours.” If she asked for a fucking unicorn, I’d go down to Cabella’s, get a damn crossbow and go hunting.

“I don’t even know. Can we just cuddle and watch a movie or something?

And not talk about it right now?” That wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I shut my mouth and nodded.

“Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.” She nodded again and asked for pizza, popcorn and nachos. I got my ass to the kitchen to take care of my girl.

My pregnant girl.

Holy. Shit.

Hunter was so excited and I could see him stifling it for me. It made me feel like a total bitch, but I just couldn’t share that happiness with him yet. I was still stuck in the shock stage. I had no idea how long the shock would last, but I was pretty comfortable with it right now.

Hunter ran around like a man possessed, getting me twice as many things as I asked for. Everyone else pretty much left us alone and huddled in the basement until I yelled at them to come up and act normal. I got a lot of stares and looks, but they all kept their mouths shut. I cuddled with Hunter on the couch, Darah on the other side.

I couldn’t say it yet but I was glad they were all here. They were all so supportive and loved me to pieces. I wasn’t alone. Darah’s fingers played in my hair and Hunter held my hand.

Slowly, my panic shifted into something else and I started to relax a little. I was still exhausted but now I knew why.

I just… I never thought this would be me. Then again, I never thought Hunter would walk into my life and turn everything upside down, so I should probably just stop making plans and expectations because they kept getting smashed and destroyed and spectacular ways.

I had class tomorrow. I had work and the Clinic tomorrow too. I couldn’t make my brain imagine doing that. I just couldn’t see anything past the word PREGNANT in my head.

Renee and Mase were fighting about what we were going to watch on Netflix. In some ways tonight was just like any other night, except for one major

difference.

“Will you skip tomorrow and stay home with me?” I whispered in Hunter’s ear. He jumped a little because I hadn’t said anything for a long time.

“Of course. Whatever you want to do.” I needed some time to sleep and think. And I wanted to call my mom. I really wanted to talk to my mom. I needed her to help me sort this out. And Tawny. I had to call her too.

“Thank you,” I said, squeezing his hand.

“I’ll do anything for you. Anything,” he said, looking at me.

“I know.”

I just didn’t know what I wanted us to do.

I was surprised that she fell asleep on me after all the chaos from earlier. She just seemed so on edge that I had thought she’d be up all night, but right around nine o’clock, I turned to say something to her and she was fast asleep. I picked her up carefully so as not to wake her and took her upstairs.

I was the one who didn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop turning everything over in my mind. I even put my hand on her belly, to see if I could feel anything, but there was no difference. Not yet. She must be very, very early. Not that I knew a whole lot about pregnancy. I spent the rest of the night on my laptop, reading everything I could get online. It gave me a lot of information, but a lot of said information freaked me the fuck out.

There were so many things that could go wrong, even in this early stage.

No wonder Taylor was still in shock. I shut my laptop and put it on the floor.

Gray morning light had started to fill the room, but Taylor was still sacked out next to me. I wasn’t surprised she’d wanted an extra day. I’d already sent emails

to my professors claiming I had a family emergency. It wasn’t a lie.

I dozed off for a little while, but snapped awake when Taylor moved.

“Oh, shit,” she said, running for the bathroom again. This time I was ready and there to rub her back and hold her hair.

“I hate this, I hate this,” she said in between heaves. It didn’t bother me at all. We’d long ago gotten over the gross factor of seeing each other throw up.

“I’m sorry, baby.” I said, wiping her forehead with a wet cloth. She sat back and took a few breaths.

“I’ve only been aware of this thing for less than twenty-four hours and it’s already being a total asshole.” I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or not, but then she smiled and I was so fucking relieved. If she could joke, that meant she was doing better.

“Well, it is half mine so…” I said and she leaned her head back and laughed.

“You raise a very good point, Mr. Zaccadelli.” I held my hand out to help her up. She decided she wanted to take a shower, so I left her to it.

When she came out of the bathroom, she looked a lot better.

“My stomach is still a little touchy, but I think I’m going to be okay.” I went downstairs to get her some tea and toast and brought it back up on a tray.

“Man, if I had known being knocked up would get you to wait on me hand and foot, I might have done it sooner.” Yes. This was definitely going better.

Wrapped in just her towel she sat on the bed and ate carefully.

“Okay,” she said, setting down her empty teacup. “I think I’m ready to talk about this now.”

“Really?” I said.

She licked her lips as I sat on the bed next to her.

“Yeah. So.” She stopped there and I waited for her to continue.

“Soooo….” I said, drawing the word out.

“So, I’m pregnant. And it’s yours, obviously, and we’re engaged. So. I mean, what other choice is there?” She shrugged and something about the way

she said it didn’t sit right with me.

“Taylor. I don’t want you to have this baby because you feel some sort of obligation. I want you to want it. Otherwise, we definitely need to talk.”

She rubbed the space between her eyebrows.

“I know that. I mean, I guess… I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s still very new and scary. I need to talk to my mom and my sister. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s that it doesn’t seem real yet. I don’t know. A baby,” she said, putting her hand on her lower stomach, “is a very scary concept. I need some more time to get used to the idea that there is literally a human growing inside me. I’m not upset about it, exactly. Just freaking out because it’s so unexpected. I think it was those damn antibiotics. I forgot that they can mess with birth control. That’s my fault and here we are.” She shrugged and gave me a little smile. I wasn’t going to say that this was meant to be because I didn’t want her to punch me, but I couldn’t help but feel that this was how things were supposed to be for us.

The trip to Texas, everything. All I could think of was my mom and how thrilled she would be to know about her first grandchild. Taylor and I had talked about children, but only in the future and only in the abstract. I knew we both wanted them, but we had been so busy with school and I had been busy trying to convince her to marry me that kids hadn’t been on the radar.

Well, they were now. At least one.

A baby. I was trying to not let myself get too far ahead, but I couldn’t help but picture a little girl with Taylor’s eyes and my hair smiling up at me. A boy would be fine too, but a little girl who looked like Taylor would be amazing.

“What?” Taylor said and I realized that I had drifted off.

“Nothing. Just thinking about stuff,” I said and her eyes narrowed.

“I know you, Hunter. I know where your head is at. You can tell me. I’m not going to break or fly off the handle. You’re over the moon and hiding it. I saw it last night.”

“I don’t want to pressure you.”

“Um, since when? You tried to get me into bed the second we met.”

I laughed. That was true, but this was different. She motioned for me to go on. I thought about what I should say. As much as she’d said she wanted me to tell the truth, I was going to hold back a little.

“I was just thinking. About what it could be like. Down the road.” She reached for my hand and squeezed it.

“Tell me more. Give me details.” I hesitated, but then I looked at her and thought about everything and my resolve broke. I told her about a little girl with her eyes and her stubborn personality who would run around and drive us crazy, but that we would love more than we knew was possible.

“I was also thinking about my mom. About what she would say if she knew. I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things.” A little halfsmile formed on her face.

“So, you want a girl? Not a boy to carry on your family name and all that patriarchal bullshit?” I threw my head back and laughed.

“I love you so much. No, I would be fine with a boy, definitely. More than fine. But I don’t know, I just see a little girl. And if she was anything like you, she would be smashing the patriarchy before she was even potty trained.” That made her beam and she patted her belly again.

“Yeah, she would, wouldn’t she?”

“Definitely.”

I hadn’t been able to picture it at all until Hunter had started talking. About a little girl that was like me. I could hear how much he wanted her to be real. And

I knew how amazing he would be as a father. He’d already proved that so many times over with Harper. Me being a mom on the other hand… That was still a huge unknown. And God, not even the mothering part, it took nine months to bake a little human. That didn’t sound like a long time until you were actually pregnant. Now it seemed like forever. Shit, it was going to change my body and what were we going to do about the house? We couldn’t just make a nursery out of nothing. Hunter had talked about adding on, but that would be a huge amount of work. Was nine months long enough for all that?

“Taylor?” Hunter busted through my thoughts and handed me my phone.

“Call your mom. I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready, okay?” He kissed my forehead and took the tray with him when he went back down.

I took a deep breath and called her. I didn’t think she would answer because she was at work, but she picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, Kid! To what do I owe this honor?” I opened my mouth and nothing came out. There really wasn’t a subtle way to tell your mom that you were baking a baby in your lady oven.

“Why aren’t you at work?” I asked instead. Great opening, Taylor.

“I have a random day off, why? Is everything okay?” Great, I’d set off her mom radar.

“Well, I think so? If being pregnant is considered okay?” There, it was out.

Followed by a good ten seconds of complete silence on the other end.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Hold on, I just had to check the calendar to make sure it wasn’t April first.

Are you serious?” This wasn’t going very well.

“Yeah. I took a test yesterday because I’d been feeling weird. It was positive. So. Here I am. Knocked up.” I laughed a little, but Mom didn’t join in.

“I thought you were using protection.” Ugh, I did not want to talk about this part with my mom. I should have called Tawny first. I could talk about this kind of stuff with her no problem.

“Um, we were, but then I was on antibiotics and I guess that messed with

things.” I regretted telling her about the antibiotics the second I said it.

“What were you on antibiotics for?” she asked.

“Um, just an, infection I had,” I said, hoping she would take that as my answer and not ask anything else. Nope. No such luck.

“What kind of infection? Why didn’t you tell me? Taylor, what is going on?

Do I need to come up there and sit you down to get you to tell me things?” I sighed.

“Okay, fine. I had a UTI, Hunter and I had banged while we were in Texas and now I’m pregnant.” Normally I wasn’t this blunt with my mom but today all my verbal brakes were malfunctioning.

“You didn’t have to say it like that,” she said, getting snippy. Why had I thought it was a good idea to call her?

“Can we get past that and back to the fact that I am currently pregnant and a junior in college and not in an ideal situation to have a baby but that I’m just going to have to suck it up and do it anyway?” I didn’t know that was what I was planning to do until I said it out loud.

“Oh, Taylor. I’m sorry. I was just taken aback by the whole thing. You sprung this on me with no warning.” I almost laughed at how silly that sounded to me.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really plan my surprise pregnancy,” I said and she sighed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This must be a lot for you to take in. Have you told Hunter?” I gave her the play by play of what had happened up until this morning. I even told her about Hunter talking about the baby.

“You picked yourself a good one, Kid. I didn’t think there were a whole lot of them still out there. And how are you feeling about it?” I sighed.

“Honestly, I’m not over the initial shock of it. But then Hunter and I were talking about it and I could tell how much he wants this and I mean, I want this too. I didn’t think it would happen right now, but I always knew I wanted kids. I guess this is just speeding up the timeline a bit.” That was an understatement, but

when had Hunter and I done anything by any sort of schedule?

Things weren’t going to be easy, but we had each other. He wasn’t going anywhere. He was probably downstairs picking out names right now and drawing up plans for a nursery.

This was happening.

I’d grabbed my laptop on the way downstairs and instead of looking up horrifying pregnancy stories, I started looking up baby equipment. I knew that a lot was required, and it was going to be expensive. Fortunately, I had a shit ton of money that I wasn’t currently using and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.

I bookmarked a few sites and decided I would show them to Taylor later.

We’d also need to figure out where we were going to put him or her. Our room was large, but all the baby items were going to take up space. There was room to put an expansion on the back of the house, which would be perfect for a nursery.

Plus, having a team of built-in babysitters was going to come in handy. This kid was going to have more aunts and uncles than it would know what to do with.

I hadn’t even thought of moving out, or having the place to ourselves. It wouldn’t feel like home. It would be far too quiet, for one. And Taylor was going to need her support system. Especially Renee, who was going to be all over monitoring this pregnancy like white on rice. I had a feeling I was going to be really grateful for her medical helicoptering.

Taylor had shorts and a tank top on when she came downstairs and her hair was brushed out and thrown over her shoulder, still damp from her shower. It might me be my imagination, but she was already glowing. My eyes traveled down to her stomach, but she wasn’t going to not show one minute and pop out

the next.

“How did it go?” I asked, closing my laptop.

She rolled her eyes and took the chair next to me.

“Well, I had to tell my mom how I got pregnant, which meant telling her that I had a UTI. Then I got a lecture. After that was over, she was actually very supportive. She wants me to come down and visit this weekend so she can take me out to lunch and share motherly wisdom or whatever. Tawny just basically laughed at me for ten solid minutes and told me ‘good luck.’” I chuckled.

Taylor’s sister was one-of-a-kind.

“Are you gonna tell your dad?” I asked and she made a face.

“He’s going to find out. Mom is probably calling him right now and I’ll have a voicemail by the end of the night. Probably by the end of the day.” She put her arms on the table and rested her chin on them.

“And I should probably make a doctor’s appointment or something, right?

Isn’t that a thing I should do? I don’t even know.” I cleared my throat and hoped I didn’t sound like an asshole.

“Well, if you’re less than twelve weeks, they’re just going to tell you to take the same kind of test you already took. It would probably be good to call and set the first appointment, though.” She gaped at me.

“What?”

“Are you pregnant, or am I? How do you know that?” I shrugged.

“I couldn’t sleep last night so I looked up a bunch of stuff.” I wasn’t going to scare her with all the horror stories, that was for sure.

“Weirdo,” she said, but she had a smile on her face. “Well, I should probably do that. And we need to sit down and figure out how the hell this is all happening. Moneywise and everything else.” I put my hand up.

“Money is covered. Totally covered.” She started to protest, but I got up and kissed her until she shut up.

“Stop that. I don’t want you footing the entire bill for this.” She was crazy if she thought she was going to pay for this alone.

“You’re the one carrying it and giving birth. Even if I gave you a million dollars that wouldn’t be a fair trade.” She rolled her eyes.

“And now you’re just trying to butter me up,” she said.

“That is absolutely not true. And if I’m not spending this money on our baby, who am I going to spend it on? It’s just sitting in the bank. Joe has been driving me crazy about it forever. I’m relieved I can finally tell him I have something to do with it.” It was a huge relief, actually. I was going to spoil that kid. Whatever hobby she or he wanted to do, I was all for it. Braces, horseback riding lessons, everything.

“Ugh, we can talk about this later,” she said, shoving a hand in my face and pushing me away as she got up. “I need another nap.”

I let her sleep most of the day, but then she woke up and started to get caught up on her homework.

“I can’t imagine being in school and walking around with this huge belly.”

She stretched out her shirt, as if she was imagining it.

“Well, you’ll probably be due around…” I counted “July, which is perfect timing. You won’t be in school and then if you want, you could defer for a semester and then double up, or just graduate a semester later.” Her eyes got wide.

“Shit, I wasn’t even thinking about school. Fuck. You’re messing everything up already!” She yelled the last part to her lower half and I snorted.

“Hey, don’t blame him or her. I don’t want you resenting them,” I said.

“I know, I know,” she said, putting her pen down on her textbook. “I won’t say stuff like that when it can hear me and understand. There’s just a lot to think about and every time I think I’ve got a handle on it, something else hits me.” She sat back on her heels and sighed.

“But are you excited?” I asked. I’d had yet to hear her being happy about this. Because I was so fucking happy I could barely handle it.

She thought about it for a moment and I was about to freak out but then a slow smile spread on her face.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s cool, thinking about a little person that’s half me and half you. Hopefully it won’t be as much of an asshole as you are.” She crumpled up a piece of notebook paper and chucked it at me.

“Oh, you are asking for it.” I got up and she tried to shield herself.

“No, don’t you dare. I am currently carrying your child. You can’t attack me, I’m the sacred vessel!” The last word was lost in her shriek as I tackled her and tickled her under her arms.

“Stop it, stop it!” she gasped. I relented, lying next to her.

“You’re going to be a terrible parent,” she said, pointing an accusing finger at me. I grabbed her hand and pretended to bite her, but kissed it instead.

“You’re gonna be amazing, Missy. Seriously amazing.” She got serious.

“Well, I’m glad you think so because I’m scared as fuck.” I pulled her into my chest and held her close.

“We have some time to figure it out, baby. We’ve got this. There are a lot of people far worse off who do this every day. We’ve got money and love and a house and a ton of friends and Hope is going to lose her shit when she finds out and give you the most epic baby shower the world has ever seen.”

I was itching to share my good news and I really wanted to ask Taylor if we could drive up to Bar Harbor and do it in person so Hope could hug the shit out of both of us. She was probably also going to cry. I wanted to cry, I was so happy.

I hadn’t said anything about getting married. We were still getting used to the whole “holy fuck, we’re having a baby” part to deal with that. It didn’t matter to me if we did it before or after, but I was actually hoping this would inspire Taylor to move things up sooner so I could wife her before our baby came.

“Oh my God, you’re right. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet,” Taylor said about the baby shower.

“We have time, Missy. We have time,” I said and twisted my fingers with hers. We both fell asleep on the floor, only waking up when the rest of our household banged through the doors.

“How are you doing, mama?” Renee said, standing over us. Taylor blinked up at her.

“Don’t call me that. It makes me sound old.” Renee plopped down next to us.

“Psh, my mom had me when she was seventeen. Youth isn’t always good when it comes to kids and you are not that old, Tay.” Paul came in a few minutes later and didn’t even question why we were all sitting on the floor. He just got down, gave Renee a kiss and started talking. Soon we were joined by Darah, Jos, Mase and then Dusty. Someone moved the coffee table so there was enough room for all of us.

“You’re all a bunch of weirdos,” Taylor said, looking around. No one wanted to make dinner so we were eating chips, dip, cookies, veggie sticks and strawberries from their containers.

“But we’re your weirdos,” Mase said, pointing at me with a carrot stick.

“He has a good point,” I said, looking at her. She shrugged and grabbed another chip.

“So, are we allowed to offer name suggestions,” Jos said, popping the top of her soda.

“Look, we haven’t even been to the doctor, so I think that’s a little premature,” Taylor said.

“She’s right. Your kid is only about the size of, like, a seed,” Renee said, holding her fingers up and pinching them to show a very tiny amount.

“A seed?” I asked. It was hard to believe it was really that small. And that it could cause Taylor so much trouble.

“So I am literally growing a human bean,” Taylor said with a laugh.

Everyone else joined in and I had one of those moments when I realized everything in my life was really good and I should probably enjoy it while it lasts.

“But to get back to the name thing, please don’t name you child after like, a Game of Thrones character,” Jos said. Renee bristled.

“And what is wrong with the name Tyrion? Or Daenerys? Are you telling me that there’s something wrong with the name Jon?” Renee pointed at Mase.

Jos rolled her eyes and then there was a huge debate about acceptable names for babies.

“We are not naming our baby after anything from a television show,” Taylor said in my ear.

“What about books?” I asked.

“Books are definitely up for debate. But I think we should find out what we’re having first, don’t you think?” I nodded. At least we agreed on that. I definitely wanted to know if we were having a boy or a girl ahead of time so we could figure out how we were going to decorate their room. I hadn’t talked to Taylor about my plans for the nursery yet. We’d get to it. Another time.

“You ready for this?” Mase asked me the next day when we were down in our makeshift home gym. I hadn’t worked out in a while, so I’d decided to join him while he lifted weights.

“No idea. But I’m going to try to be.” He picked up a set of dumbbells and started bicep curls. I wasn’t really doing much, so I got on the treadmill and started to jog.

“Hey, room for one more?” Dusty asked as he came down the stairs.

“Sure.”

“So, baby,” Dusty said and I rolled my eyes. That seemed to be the only talk of conversation anyone could come up with.

“Yup.” “If I were you, I’d be freaking the fuck out, but you seem to be happy about it,” Dusty said, picking up a set of weights and starting to work his arms.

“I am freaking the fuck out, but I’m also really happy. I honestly am.” They both looked at me like I was insane.

“Well, I just tell you now that Dare and Ne are planning a ‘congratulations on your baby’ party,” Mase said with a grunt.

“Isn’t that called a baby shower?” Dusty said.

“No, this is like, for the parents. The baby shower is all about getting baby stuff,” Mase said.

“And when is this party happening?” I asked.

“Soon,” Mase said. “They’re already getting baking supplies now.” If there was one thing the ladies of Yellowfield House knew how to do, it was throw a party.

So even though Renee said the baby was only the size of a seed, it was causing me all kinds of problems. I was fucking exhausted all the time. And the sickness continued every morning when I woke up. To his credit, Hunter was right there and took care of me through everything. He also took on my share of the chores when I needed a nap.

I hated taking up so much of his time, so whenever I could, I told him to play videogames with Mase, or hang out with Paul or work on Dusty’s car with him. I didn’t want to be some sort of ball and chain and make him resent me someday.

Our friends proved that they were the literal best when they threw Hunter and I a party to celebrate the baby. There were baby carrots and baby corn and it

was a blast and everyone got very silly with baby puns.

That weekend we drove up to see Hope, John and Harper to tell them about the baby in person. Hope burst into tears and Harper kept asking if she and the baby could be best friends. That made me cry, which made Hunter go into hypercaretaker mode. I had handfuls of tissues shoved at me until I told him I was fine and that he had to stop.

“Oh, I remember when I was pregnant with JJ. I was the size of a house,” Hope said, referring to Mase. I knew that wasn’t true because I’d seen pictures and she was the most glamorous pregnant woman I’d ever seen.

“Oh, love, you know you were beautiful both times,” John said, kissing her cheek. She blushed and batted her hand at him to stop.

“Excuse me,” Harper said, raising her hand. She was just the most precious thing.

“Yes, Harper,” John said.

“When is the baby going to be here?” I looked at Hunter and then at Hope and John. I had the feeling there was going to be a birds and bees conversation in their not-so-distant future.

“Probably in July,” I said, and Harper stuck her bottom lip out.

“That’s forever,” she said. Well, to an eight-year-old it probably was.

“It seems that way,” Hunter said, squeezing my shoulder. “But the baby will be here before you know it.” Harper seemed skeptical and then asked why it took so long. John coughed and changed the subject. They were going to have a fun night after we left.

“I’m so happy for both of you,” Hope said, giving me a huge hug before we left.

“And if you need anything, even if you just have a question about whether something is normal, you call me, okay?” I promised that I would and she handed me a stack of books.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I started to say, but she cut me off.

“These were the books that I read and they’re not too scary. But I would

suggest avoiding certain parts.” I saw the little flags sticking out and wondered what they were.

“Oh, good, thanks,” I said.

“Yeah, I made the mistake of looking things up online and I am still regretting it,” Hunter said with a shudder.

My mom also had books for us when we went down to Waterville the next day.

Some were the same ones Hope had given me. I didn’t tell my mom that, though, and thanked her for them.

“My little sister, all knocked up,” Tawny said when she walked in and gave me a hug.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, but she was just teasing.

“And you, how dare you,” Tawny said, rounding on Hunter. I thought she was going to slap him, but she just laughed and gave him a hug.

“Congratulations. It couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole.”

“Tawny!” Mom said, admonishing her for the language.

“Oh, whatever,” she said, sitting down on the couch with us.

Most of the talk was about the baby and how the hell we were going to do this. Fortunately, Hunter and I had had a few more days to talk things over and start making a plan. He’d already contacted a builder do an add-on off of our room for a nursery and I’d started re-thinking my graduation schedule. I mean, it sucked, but it wasn’t the most important thing in the world. Going an extra semester wasn’t going to kill me. At least I hoped not. We’d have to see when our spawn made its appearance.

I’d been surprised that Hunter hadn’t brought up getting married. Not that he had any ideas about our baby being born “in sin” but I’d thought he would take the pregnancy as yet another reason to get married sooner. I would love to

say that my mind had changed overnight because of the baby, but the whole marriage thing still scared the shit out of me.

No, it didn’t make any sense, but I couldn’t help it. Plus, planning for a wedding and a baby plus going to school would be complete insanity. I’d just as soon go down to the courthouse and do it on a Tuesday afternoon and not tell anyone until later. If I could wrap my head around actually getting married, that is.

“You crazy kids,” Mom said, shaking her head at us, but she had a smile on her face. I could tell she was getting excited about being a grandmother. Tawny wasn’t anywhere close to getting married and having one of her own. Not that you had to be married to have a kid, but Tawny couldn’t seem to find a guy she could stand for more than a few weeks, so I didn’t think babies were really on her mind all that much.

“Yup. They say that life is what happens when you’re making other plans and I guess it’s true,” I said and Hunter smiled at me. I kept catching him watching me as if he was searching for something. Like any minute I was going to start looking really pregnant. He had been my constant shadow, waiting on me hand and foot. I told him he didn’t have to, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I gave up because it was nice to be taken care of.

“That is definitely true,” Mom said. “Have you talked to your dad? I didn’t tell him anything yet, per your request.” I could tell she wasn’t happy about keeping something from him. Their relationship had changed a lot since the hearing and I knew they talked at least once a week. I wouldn’t call them friends exactly, but they were definitely friendly. At least more so than when they split up, that was for sure.

“I will, I will.” He was going to find out anyway.

“You’d better,” Mom said, narrowing her eyes. “If you don’t, then I will.”

“You can’t do that!” I said and she gave me a look.

“I can and I will, so call your father, Taylor.” I sighed. She wasn’t making this easy. Not that anything about this was easy.

“Fiiinnne,” I said, drawing the word out.

“Don’t give me attitude, Kid. You’re gonna be a mom now, so it’s time to grow up.” I didn’t feel any more grown up. Actually, I felt more and more like I had no idea what the hell I was doing and I didn’t think that was going to change in nine months. Thank God for Hunter, because I didn’t know how I would have done this by myself.

“Whatever,” I said, crossing my arms. Everyone laughed and then we talked about other things, for which I was grateful. Seemed like all anyone could do was talk about the baby lately and I was getting a little tired of it.

“You have caused a lot of trouble,” I said to it when I went to the bathroom at my mom’s house. “You’d better be worth it.”

I was deep in the throes of sleep on Monday night when there was a commotion that woke me.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled. Hunter got out of bed, placing himself between me and the door. Protecting me.

Voices yelled below us and footsteps thundered on the stairs before the door flew open and Renee came in.

“Dusty’s apartment is on fire,” she said before rushing out again. Doors slammed and I didn’t know what to do.

“We should probably go down and see what’s going on,” Hunter said, holding his hand out to me and helping me out of bed. I pointed out that he should probably put some clothes on, so he grabbed his boxers from the floor and slid them on before we went downstairs.

It was chaos.

Everyone was half-dressed and running around looking for keys. Dusty had stayed with us, thank God, so he and Jos were the first ones out the door. The

rest of us piled into Mase’s truck and Sassy.

Dusty lived a short drive away, but we could hear the sirens long before we got there.

“Oh, shit,” Hunter said when we parked on the street. The road was closed off and I counted at least three firetrucks and so many firemen they must have called in several stations.

The entire building was ablaze, as well as the one next door. All the houses on this street were crammed together, so the danger of all of them going up was high. Hunter had grabbed me a coat to put on over my pajamas, but it was still freezing and our breaths made clouds in the air that combined with the smoke. It wasn’t the clean smell of wood burning. It was dirty and greasy and made me wrinkle my nose as my stomach heaved. Spawn didn’t like that at all.

Hunter took my hand and we walked as close as we could before the firefighters yelled at us to get back. There was a news van on the scene with an anchor doing a report to a man with a camera. Several other people were waiting with looks of horror on their faces. Probably people from the other houses who had been evacuated.

“That’s definitely not good,” Mase said as we all stared up at the inferno.

There was no way anything in the apartment could be saved. The building was going to be a total loss.

“Poor Dusty,” I said. It was a miracle that he had been staying with us.

He’d also brought his cat over or else Napoleon would have been in there. I shuddered at the thought.

“I know,” Hunter said, holding me close. The wind shifted and pushed the smoke toward us. We all started coughing.

Dusty and Jos walked over to us, both looking grim. Dusty was leaning on Jos and she had one of his hands clutched in both of hers.

“So, uh, yeah. Can I move in?” Dusty said, looking at Renee. His voice choked and tears were streaking down his face.

Renee just broke down and threw herself at him.

“Of course you can,” she said as he leaned down to hug her.

“Thanks,” he said with the saddest smile I’d ever seen.

“Do they know what started it?” Paul asked, taking the still-crying Renee under his arm.

Dusty shook his head.

“They have to investigate, but it doesn’t look like it was intentional.

Probably faulty wiring or some shit like that. It doesn’t really matter. Everything is gone.” Jos shook her head and put her hand under his chin to force him to look at her.

“You are alive. You are alive and Napoleon is alive and you are coming home with me. Understand? All of that stuff doesn’t matter. You matter.” She gave him a fierce kiss and he hugged her and they cried together.

We all cried, huddled together until the sun started peaking over the horizon. Dusty had to talk to the fire investigator, so we waited with him. It was all we could do. When he was finally done, we headed back to Yellowfield house and pulled together breakfast and massive amounts of coffee.

“Okay, so let’s make a list of what you need, then we can all go out and get it today. I mean, we can’t get everything, but we can have enough to get you started,” Darah said, tearing out some sheets of notebook paper and laying them out on the dining table.

“You don’t have to do that,” Dusty tried to say, but Darah just glared at him. I didn’t even know she was capable of that kind of look.

“Okay, okay. Jesus.” He put his hands up in surrender and it was the first moment of levity we’d had all night.

It was fortunate that Dusty stayed here so often. He had tons of clothes and most of his other personal items, like his laptop and textbooks, here.

He still needed extra winter clothes and boots and shoes plus supplies for Napoleon. Darah delegated and we all got dressed and headed out. Hunter and I were in charge of the pet supplies so we drove to the Bangor Mall.

“It’s going to be fun to have a cat,” I said. “I mean, a full-time cat.

Napoleon was already over a lot anyway. Maybe we could get him a little buddy so he’s not lonely.” Hunter gave me a look as if I’d suggested we buy an elephant and house it in the basement.

“What?”

“I don’t think a kitten is what we need right now, Missy. Seeing as how we’re going to have our own human kitten.” I snorted and grabbed a bag of little cat toys shaped like mice. Napoleon loved to play fetch with things like this. He was going to go nuts when he saw them.

“But that’s a ways off. And we already have one cat. What’s another?” We moved through the food aisle and Hunter added a big bag of dry food to our cart.

Hunter grumbled under his breath but then we turned the corner and they just happened to have a cage full of kittens up for adoption.

“It’s meant to be,” I said, rubbing Hunter’s arm where he had the seven tattooed.

“Renee is going to kill us,” he said as we headed toward the cage of mewling kittens. They were so damn cute I wanted to cry. I actually did cry, but I was going to blame that on Spawn.

“Can I help you?” one of the polo-shirted employees asked as we talked and cooed at the kittens.

“Yeah, we want to adopt one,” I said and the employee, Sarah, got us some paperwork. I let Hunter fill that out as I looked at each of the kittens, trying to figure out which one we should get. I was just staring at two sleeping on top of each other one when a little gray kitten with white socks came over. It put its paws on the cage and meowed right in my face.

“Hello,” I said and the kitten answered. It had a little spot of white on one ear and pretty blue eyes.

“What about this one?” I asked, pointing. Sarah came over and took the kitten out.

“This is a little girl. She hasn’t been fixed yet, but she’s a real sweetheart.”

The kitten was plopped in my arms and she immediately licked my hand and

started purring.

“Oh, Hunter,” I said, turning. He reached for the kitten.

“Hello, sweet girl,” he said, cradling the kitten to his chest. I started crying again, and tried to wipe my eyes so that no one noticed.

“And it’s a little ironic that she’s the color of smoke,” Hunter said, scratching her under her chin as she closed her eyes happily.

“Yeah, we should call her that. Smoky.” Hunter agreed and before we knew it, I was sitting in the passenger side of my car and holding a snoozing kitten.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?” Hunter asked.

Good question.

The next day we helped Dusty officially move in, which included adding him to the chore chart.

“This is very official,” he said, giving Jos a kiss on the cheek. He was doing really well, considering. By some miracle, he’d brought all the pictures of his brother over here so that Jos could also see them, so he hadn’t lost any. He only had his part-time job at Bull Moose, so the rest of us were chipping in to help him get back on his feet. He tried to refuse, but none of us were having it.

“You’re stuck with us now,” Jos said, smiling up at him. Renee probably still wasn’t thrilled about him moving in, but she couldn’t throw the guy out after his house had burned down.

“Thank you all, really. I don’t…” he got a little choked up and took a breath. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.” He reminded me a lot of myself. Getting taken in by a family that welcomed you with open arms.

No questions asked. Dusty was a Yellowfield House resident now and I was happy to have him.

I got a call back from one of the contractors about the new addition and we set up a meeting during the first week of December. I was thrilled to get started on the plans, but it was almost Thanksgiving and we were all cramming for exams and writing papers and doing projects like crazy.

Taylor would also have her first doctor’s appointment soon and I was

counting down the days. I just wanted to make sure everything was on track and that we didn’t have anything to worry about. She hadn’t started to show yet, but I’d already looked up some sites that sold maternity clothes (cute ones that she would wear) and bookmarked them for when she’d need them.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how fucking happy I was about the baby. I’d see one on campus, or in a commercial, and it would remind me that in less than a year, I was going to have one of my own. I was going to be a father.

I told my counselor about the baby and she asked me how I felt.

“Well, it’s what I’ve always wanted. I mean, I didn’t know that it was what I wanted, until I met Taylor. She changed everything and I can’t wait.” I smiled and my stomach got all fluttery and shit.

“Are you worried about anything?” Isobel asked me. I shook my head.

“Not really. I mean, other than just the usual concerns. Will the baby be healthy, will I know what to do, will Taylor be okay, those kinds of things. But nothing major.” I was actually a little surprised that I wasn’t more apprehensive, but I was feeling really good about everything.

“And what does Taylor think?” I hesitated before I answered.

“She wasn’t as happy about it at first. I think she was just in shock, really, but she’s totally on board with everything now. She’s excited. I saw her looking at baby stuff at the store the other day. And her mom and sister are excited too.”

Isobel nodded and made some notes.

My nightmares still popped up now and then, especially when I was tired. I didn’t think they were gone for good, but thinking about the baby helped bring me back from the darkness.

“I just want to caution you that this baby isn’t going to be the cure for everything. It’s great that you’re excited, but just be realistic about it, okay?” I nodded. I wasn’t delusional that this baby was going to completely fix everything that had happened before. But this was life and I was going with it.

Full speed ahead.

Thanksgiving came and Taylor’s family agreed to come to Bar Harbor so we could all be together. Her mom and Tawny got along really well with Hope and John, so it worked out great.

Seven continued her reign as the sweetest human ever by showing us a card she had made for the baby. That had everyone gushing, and she beamed and did a little twirl in her chair.

After dinner we all moved to the lounge for pie. I’d brought my guitar so Seven, Darah, Mase and I had a jam session while Hope and John talked to Taylor and her mom and sister.

Taylor fell asleep on the way home and I carried her into the empty house.

Everyone else was staying the weekend with their respective families so it was just us.

We crashed on the couch and I watched a couple of movies under a blanket, still totally stuffed. Hope had also sent us home with multiple containers of leftovers along with four pies.

When she finally woke up I caught Taylor rubbing her belly absently. I seized my moment.

“Can I ask you something?” I said and she turned her head.

“You don’t need my permission, but go ahead.” She yawned.

“I was thinking about us getting married. You know. Since we’re going to be having a baby. I’m not saying that we have to, but it’s something to think about.” I put my hand on top of hers on her stomach.

Her lips thinned.

“I had the feeling you were going to bring that up. I’m surprised you held off for this long. I’d thought the second I told you about the baby, you’d be marching me straight down the aisle whether I wanted to or not.”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to marry me, Taylor. Especially now. No one should get married just because of having a baby because that’s not a good enough reason.” Taylor snorted.

“Obviously, or there probably wouldn’t be so many divorces. I can’t explain why I’m so reluctant. I know I’m being crazy and I know that it’s extra weird now that we’re having a kid, but I just… would it be possible for us to not do a wedding? Just go down to the courthouse in the middle of the week, not tell anyone and just do it? I don’t want to sit down and plan this whole big thing and then have to worry about who to invite and who is going to be offended and how much it’s going to cost. Thinking about any of that makes me want to throw up, and not just because of Spawn.” I smiled a little at her chosen nickname for our future child.

“Taylor—” I started to say, but she cut me off.

“No, listen. I need to say this to you. I just… I can’t do the wedding thing.

Maybe sometime down the road, but I can’t do it now, okay? I can’t.” Tears poured down her cheeks and I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. Fuck, I wished she would have told me all this sooner. I wouldn’t have pushed if I knew this was why she was being so reluctant. It wasn’t the marriage it was the wedding that she objected to. That was a very important distinction “Okay, so we don’t have a wedding. We can get in the car and head to the airport and go to Vegas right now, baby,” I said and she laughed.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” she said, but I stood up.

“Come on. We can take the red eye.” I was completely and totally serious.

“No way.” She still didn’t believe me so I ran upstairs, grabbed a suitcase from our closet and started throwing shit in it. Taylor came up just as I was putting our toothbrushes in bags.

“You have got to be kidding me.” She shook her head at me.

“Why not? Why not now?” It made all the sense in the world to me. Sure, our families might be pissed after the fact, but at least they wouldn’t have to pay for an elaborate wedding and we could always have a party later on.

Taylor stared at me and then she started laughing.

“You are out of your mind, but fortunately I am too.” She yanked open the drawer of our dresser and started cramming socks and bras and underwear in the suitcase. One of us started laughing and then we were both laughing and shoving whatever stuff we could get our hands on in the suitcase regardless of whether we needed it or not. I zipped it shut and hauled it down the stairs, a giggling Taylor on my heels.

It was just so completely over the top insane that I knew it was exactly what we were supposed to do. I consulted my inner compass and it pointed toward Vegas and Hunter.

“Hurry!” I yelled as we threw the suitcase in Sassy’s trunk and got in.

“Why do we have to hurry?” Hunter asked, turning the car on.

“I don’t know, we just do!” He laughed and peeled away from the house, heading toward the airport.

We had to stop for gas so we grabbed snacks to fuel up on as well. I didn’t really need them, though. I was buzzing on pure happiness.

“Your parents are getting married, Spawn,” I said, tilting my chin down so I could sort of talk to the baby.

“I really wish you would come up with a better nickname, Missy. Spawn just makes me think of aliens or something,” Hunter said, cracking open a Red Bull. We were only a few minutes away from the airport and I was getting more antsy by the second. I wasn’t scared about flying this time. All I wanted to do was get to Vegas and get married. I didn’t care about anything else.

“You can come up with whatever nickname you want, but I’m calling it Spawn until we know what it is. How soon could we find out?” I hadn’t cracked the pregnancy books yet. Mostly because they scared the daylights out of me. I didn’t really want to know what was happening to my body. Experiencing it was more than enough. I mean, I would have to know eventually, but for right now ignorance was almost bliss.

“I think it’s somewhere around twenty weeks. We won’t know at the first ultrasound.” It was almost disturbing how much information about pregnancy Hunter had absorbed. Sometimes it felt like he knew more than Renee, who was enjoying this a little too much. Like I was her own personal lab rat that she got to monitor and poke and prod whenever she wanted to. I was sick of it already and I was barely pregnant. My appointment for the first ultrasound was next week and I was both nervous and excited.

Hunter got giddy every time he talked about it. Dork.

Our Vegas plan hit a snag when we realized you couldn’t just go to the airport and hop right on a plane. The earliest available flight to Vegas was at five thirty in the morning, so we had quite a few hours to wait. Instead of sleeping in the airport, we headed to the hotel next door.

“Well, that kind of slowed things down,” Hunter said as I flopped on the bed in the hotel room. It was nearly midnight and I was finally hitting my wall and ready to crash for a few hours before we left.

“Little bit,” I said. “It’s not like the movies, I guess, where they can just get on the plane and are in Vegas like an hour later.” He sat down next to me and patted my stomach.

“How’s our little bean?”

“Fine. Same as always.” I closed my eyes and sighed.

“Do you want anything?” I shook my head. Hunter got off the bed and then I felt my shoes being gently pulled off my feet, along with my socks. Once that was done, I scooted all the way onto the bed and he joined me.

“Hey,” he said, touching my hand.

“Hey,” I said back.

“We’re getting married.”

“I know.” It was still hard to believe, but I didn’t want to turn around and go home. This was exactly where we needed to be. Well, not exactly. We hadn’t made it to Vegas yet, but we were on our way.

It took us almost an entire day of travel and two layovers to finally get to Vegas.

But since they were three hours behind Maine time, it was like we had time traveled, so we didn’t lose as much time as we might have.

Still, when we emerged from the airport, bleary-eyed and exhausted, I was energized and ready to do this thing.

We caught a cab and had them take us to the Hard Rock hotel. Hunter had made a reservation on his phone on our way down. I didn’t even want to think how much this little trip was costing us. It would still be massively cheaper than a traditional wedding.

Good thing Hunter and I weren’t really traditional people.

The first thing I wanted to do when finally arrived was go to our room and take a shower. I ignored the lights and the people and the smoke. I needed a freaking shower.

Hunter, of course, had booked one of the suites, so it was just ridiculous. I didn’t want to breathe on anything because it was so fancy.

I wanted to soak in the giant tub, but I settled for a quick but luxurious

shower. Of course I was soon joined by a naked man named Hunter Zaccadelli.

“I’m just saving water,” he said, giving me an innocent look as he closed the clear partition behind himself.

“Yeah, yeah, Shower with a friend. I know the drill,” I said, rolling my eyes. He just wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my dripping hair.

“We’re getting married.” It was like he had to keep saying it to convince himself that it was true. That I wasn’t backing out. That this was real and it was happening.

“We’re getting married.” I pulled back so I could kiss him and he slowly, gently fucked me up against the wall of the shower. It was sweet and as we climaxed together, I thanked whoever or whatever had decided that Hunter and I were supposed to find each other.

“Uh oh. It seems our absence has been noted,” Hunter said as I finished drying my hair. We were heading right to dinner and then out to find one of the many little white chapels that Vegas was famous for.

“Yeah?” I asked, putting the hairdryer away and walking back into the little living room that was separated by a partial wall from the bedroom.

“Yeah, I guess Mase is back at the house and wondering where the fuck we are. Do you want me to say anything?” I didn’t want anyone to know about this until we got back.

“No. Just tell him that we decided to go and stay with my mom or something. Or that we got the urge to go stay in Camden.” Thinking about that reminded me of the time we’d pretended to be engaged so we could tour all around the Norumbega Inn. In the back of my mind, I’d always thought about maybe going back there someday and actually getting married.

We could still do that, if we wanted. There was no rule that we could only have one wedding. It would be nice to do something a little formal after the fact.

Then there would be no pressure. Maybe after the baby was born. Later next summer, or in the fall. That would be perfect.

“Got it. I don’t really want to tell them either. Because you know if we tell Mase, then he’s going to call Hope and she’s going to get upset.” God, I didn’t want to think about that.

“And I can’t have my mom finding out. She’s probably going to kill you.

Then again, she didn’t kill you for knocking me up, so it might be okay. I just don’t want anyone interfering or giving advice. This is about the two of us. And Spawn.” Hunter put his phone on the couch and got up.

“You look amazing.”

In our haste to get here, we’d sort of forgotten that we might need formal clothing for the ceremony, but somehow, in my mad dash to throw things in the suitcase, I’d tossed in a black dress with cutouts on the sides that showed part of my tattoo. Couldn’t do anything about my shoes which were pink Chucks.

Somehow the outfit worked, though. Hunter had his sexiest, darkest jeans on with a light blue button up shirt and a black skinny tie that had somehow made it in there too.

“So do you,” I said. I wanted to push him up against the windows and fuck the crap out of him. But alas. We had a wedding to attend.

I kept flashing back to our time inside Norumbega. The look of joy on Taylor’s face when she saw the library had been so worth it.

“Hey, you’re going to squeeze the blood out of my hand,” I said so only she could hear as Susan, our tour guide rambled on and on. But I wasn’t paying attention to her. I was paying attention to Taylor, who looked like all her dreams had come true at once. That look slammed into my heart and made it hard to breathe.

“You can take it. Do you not see the books?”

“Would you have your way with me right now?” I was only partially joking.

“Why do you think Beauty picked the Beast? It was the library.”

“I guess I’m the Beast in that situation.”

She smirked.

“Unless you want to be the Beauty.”

“Nope, that’s all you.”

We’d had such a good day. Right up until she’d gotten the phone call that the monster (I refused to even think his name; he didn’t deserve it, the piece of shit) who had attacked her and her sister was up for parole. Fucking scum.

That was the night that had changed everything.

Taylor snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“Are you there?”

“Yeah, just thinking.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was just so, so beautiful.

“Getting cold feet?” she asked.

“Never. Not when it comes to you,” I said, reaching forward and sweeping her into my arms.

We were both far too nervous to eat dinner, and eager to get hitched, so we rushed out of the hotel and I called a car to come take us to the chapel. After looking online, we’d chosen one that had been performing weddings for over sixty years.

It seemed like a good bet.

“This is so tacky in the most wonderful way,” Taylor had said when we’d looked at pictures online. That had been good enough for me. I would have married her in a parking lot if that was what it took.

The whole way to the chapel, I held Taylor’s hand in an iron grip. She stared out the window and I asked her if she was okay. She gave me a tight nod in response.

Okay, that was a little different than earlier in the hotel room when she’d been completely and one hundred percent in favor of this.

“We don’t have to do this,” I said to her, kissing the back of her hand to make sure she’d hear me.

“Huh?” she turned toward me, eyes unfocused. As if she’d been somewhere far away.

“I said that we don’t have to do this.” She swallowed and shook her head.

“No. We’re doing this.” She squeezed my hand and gave me a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. I knew my girl well enough to know when she was really

happy and when she was putting on a face to placate someone. In this case, me.

“Taylor,” I said, but she ignored me and looked out the window again.

Shit.

By the time we actually made it to the little chapel, Taylor was twitching so much I thought I might need to take her to the hospital.

“Missy, are you okay?” I helped her out of the car and her legs wobbled.

No longer was her face lit up with excitement and joy. All I saw were fear and panic.

Time to slam on the brakes.

I told the driver to wait, which he wasn’t happy about, but I threw some cash at him and he shut up.

Pulling Taylor away from the crowds on the sidewalk, I grabbed her face in both of my hands.

“I want you to look at me.” Her eyes fluttered and then focused on me. I looked into their brown depths and tried to get her to listen.

“We. Don’t. Have. To. Do. This.” I made sure there was a little pause between each word so she knew just how serious I was.

“Uh huh,” she said, her voice distant and a little robotic.

“We’re not doing this, Taylor. I am not marching you down the aisle with a gun to your head. Sometimes an idea that seems good at the time turns out not to be. Right now we’re going to get in the car and go back to the hotel. And then we’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.” She kept blinking at me, but the words were beginning to sink in.

A few tears escaped her eyes and trailed down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a broken voice. “I thought I could do it.” I crushed her into a hug.

“You never have to be sorry about that. Ever. Understand? I love you and nothing is ever going to change that.” She sobbed a little and I held her tight, rocking her back and forth as people passed by, not even giving us a glance.

There were too many other things to look at. Flashing lights and showgirls and chaos.

“I love you,” she mumbled and then pulled back. “I wish I could be different.

I shook my head.

“I don’t. I want you exactly the way you are.” At last, she gave me a genuine smile and slipped her hand into mine as we walked back toward the car.

The driver had put on the radio and was humming to himself. I directed him to take us back to the hotel, and he made no editorial comments about how we hadn’t gone through with the wedding, for which I was grateful. If he had said anything, I did not want to be responsible for what would happen and I didn’t like the idea of getting arrested in Vegas.

Taylor wilted against me as we headed back into the hotel and took the elevator up to our room.

“I’m a terrible fiancée,” she said, dropping onto the couch. I sat next to her, gathering her up and pulling her into my lap.

“If you’re terrible, then I’m terrible. We both suck.” She wrinkled her nose at me and then rested her head on my chest.

“We’re going to be parents, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around marrying you.” I was about to say something when her phone rang.

“Ugh, it’s my dad. I really don’t want to talk to him.” I knew she didn’t, but I thought she should. He’d really showed up during the hearing last year and I could tell that he was genuine about trying to rebuild their relationship. She still had a father and she was pushing him away.

“Answer it,” I said, standing up. Indecision crossed her face, but then she raised the phone to her ear, wincing as she answered.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Kid,” he said, and I could hear the shock in his voice that I’d picked up.

There was also relief there, too.

“I know it’s a little late to be calling, but I thought I’d give it a shot. I haven’t heard from you in ages.” Way to lay on the guilt, Dad. “Yeah, I know. Things have been… a little busy.” By the way, I got knocked up and I almost got married in Vegas today. How have you been? No. Not happening.

“Oh, yeah? What’s been going on?” I could tell Mom hadn’t said anything about Spawn yet. I was kind of wishing she had because now I had to do it.

“Well, I’m not really sure how to tell you this because there isn’t a good way, but you’re going to be a grandfather.” Across the room Hunter gave me a thumbs. I was waiting for Dad’s reaction.

“Really?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah. I have an appointment next week for the first ultrasound.” There was a weird sound on the other end and it took me a few seconds to realize that he was crying.

“Dad?” I asked.

“Sorry. I just needed a minute. That is so exciting, Taylor. I’m so happy for you and Hunter.” He was really choked up. It was making me choked up. I hadn’t known how he would react, but this was definitely a surprise.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Absolutely. Oh, I can’t believe it. Do you think I could come up and visit

so I could see you?” Whoa, let’s slow this roll a little. I wasn’t sure if I was up for that, but he was so excited, how could I deny him?

“Um, yeah, sure. I think that would be okay. If you wait until next weekend I might have ultrasound pictures for you. I mean, it’s still so early that you can’t see much, but there will be something there.” Apparently Spawn was almost the size of a peppercorn now, so we were moving on up in size.

“That would be wonderful. How about next Saturday?” I said that was fine and we made some tentative plans to meet at Mom’s. When he came up to visit, Mom let him stay in the guest room which I thought was totally weird, but it was her house and her rules.

“I can do that. I’ll drive up on Friday night. Oh, Taylor I’m so excited. I need to go shopping. Do you have a car seat yet?” I almost started laughing.

“Uh, no. We haven’t really gotten that far yet, Dad.” He agreed that a car seat might be premature, but he warned me that presents were definitely happening anyway.

“Okay, Dad. I’ll let you get back to whatever you’re doing. I need to go to bed.”

“All right. I’ll talk to you soon. Call me after your appointment if you want.

If not, that’s fine too. I’ll see you next Saturday.” We hung up and I set my phone next to me.

“So, we’re hanging out with my dad on Saturday, apparently,” I said, rubbing my fingers on the back of my neck. I felt a headache starting to come on. Hunter’s fingers replaced my own and he started rubbing small circles on the base of my neck.

“That’s great. I’m sure he’s really excited about being a grandfather.” It was weird to think of my dad that way, but he would be.

“I can’t really picture him dressing up as Santa and pretending to come down the chimney on Christmas to surprise Spawn, but who knows.” Hunter kept massaging and I felt myself getting really tired. And hungry. I hadn’t eaten much today because I’d been freaking out about the wedding.

“Can we order room service,” I asked, turning back to face him.

“Absolutely.”

An hour later we were in robes, eating our faces off and watching stupid crap on TV. “Now this is my idea of Netflix and chill,” I said, finishing my soda.

“There should definitely be more nudity involved,” Hunter said, tugging on the sash of my robe. I’d taken off the dress earlier. I was pretty sure that I could never wear it again because it would always remind me of the time I failed to make it down the aisle.

“Oh my God, I just realized I’m a runaway bride.” Hunter chuckled.

“Not exactly. You didn’t do any actual running. It just wasn’t time for us.

That’s fine with me. Our time will happen. I’m not worried.” He smiled, but I knew how much it would have meant to him for us to be currently on our honeymoon.

We both passed out in our robes in a tangle on the bed. For once I was grateful for Spawn because it meant that I didn’t spend the whole night thinking about what a terrible fiancée I was.

“I feel like I should take you to a strip club and buy you a lap dance to make up for last night,” I said the next morning when we woke up. I had absolutely no interest in going to the casinos or gambling or anything like that. I kinda just wanted to get home and forget that this trip had happened.

“As tempting as that would be, I’d rather see your sexy ass stripping for

me,” he said, smacking my ass as I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

“I’m pretty sure I’d be bad at it. You have to be really strong to pole dance.

That shit is no joke.” There was a reason people used it as a form of exercise.

We headed to the airport a little while later. No particular reason to hang in Vegas.

By the time we got home, I thought I was going to die. Between the nausea and being crunched on the flights, I was miserable the whole time. Hunter was amazing, rubbing my back and letting me drool on his shoulder when I passed out on the plane.

“Can we stay here tonight?” I asked when we arrived in Portland. It was a drive to get back to Orono and I didn’t have the strength for it. He tucked me under his arm and we booked another night at the airport hotel.

I had missed calls and texts from Renee, Jos and Darah and Hunter had a few from Mase and Dusty.

“So, what are we going to tell them?” he asked me just before I shut out the world and went to sleep.

“Um,” I said through a yawn, “I don’t really want them to know about our attempt to get married. Just say that we decided on a spur-of-the-moment getaway. Just for the hell of it. I don’t know. I just don’t want them mocking me for the rest of my life.” And they would. That group could never let anything die.

“Yeah, agreed. I’d never hear the end of it from Mase, that’s for sure. Okay, random getaway it is.” I closed my eyes and didn’t think of anything else for at least twelve hours.

“You guys eloped, didn’t you?” was the first thing I heard when we walked through the door the next day.

I glared at Hunter, but he just shrugged.

“I didn’t say anything.” I was about to say something else, but we were both engulfed in an intense group hug.

“What is happening?” I asked when I could breathe.

“You finally got married!” Renee yelled and reached into her pockets, pulling out a handful of confetti, tossing it over us.

“Uh,” I said, looking at Hunter. He just gaped.

“You guys, we were supposed to do it all at once. We practiced this!”

Renee said and then there was more confetti thrown in my face.

“Congratulations, you guys,” Darah said. “We’re so happy for you.”

“Hold up,” I finally said. “We didn’t get married.”

They all laughed.

“Yeah, like we believe you went on a random vacation,” Mase said, giving Hunter a playful punch on the shoulder.

“No, seriously. We did.” Way to come to my rescue, Hunter. Better late than never.

“You really didn’t elope?” Renee said. She looked totally crushed. Jos just rolled her eyes.

“I knew it. I knew they didn’t run off to get married. We totally should have made that bet,” Jos said to Renee.

“So you didn’t get married?” Renee said, as if she needed us to confirm it, yet again.

“No,” Hunter and I said at the same time. The mood deflated a little bit after that. Eventually the confetti was swept up, but not before Napoleon and Smoky had rolled around and attacked it. We were going to be finding little bits of it around the house for ages.

“So you really just… stayed at a hotel for a few days?” Mase asked.

“Yup. Just hung out and ate too much and banged a lot,” I said.

“TMI,” Renee said, covering her ears.

“Oh, shut up. You leave your freaking vibrator in the dishwasher,” I said.

“That’s one of the best ways to get it clean!”

A debate about vibrators ensued. It was good to be home.

I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit disappointed that my Vegas idea crashed and burned. I pushed it aside and just kept thinking about Taylor’s first doctor’s appointment on Thursday. We were both skipping class to go and I was so excited on Wednesday night that I could barely sleep.

“You act like we’re going to visit Santa at the mall or something,” Taylor said with a laugh as we walked over to the clinic from where I’d met her at the Union.

“We’re going to get to see a picture of our baby. I know it doesn’t look that much like a human right now, but still. It’ll be the first picture. It will make everything real. Or more real.” I had her hand in mine and I could feel the vibrations of nervous excitement coming from her.

“Here we go,” I said as I held the door for her. She checked in and we waited a few minutes before she was taken by a CNA to get her height and weight and ask a few questions. There was another wait until the doctor came in.

Taylor kept shifting on the bed, the paper crinkling constantly.

“You nervous?” I asked.

“I keep thinking that I might have made a mistake and they’re going to tell me I’m not pregnant and then everyone is going to think I’m a loser.” I couldn’t help but laugh. She picked up her shoe and chucked it at me. I caught it and set it

down on the floor.

“Shut up, it could happen.” I got serious.

“Would you be upset if that happened?” I knew how I felt, but she was keeping a lot of things close to the vest.

“Well, yeah. Obviously. I’ve gotten attached to Spawn.” There was a knock at the door that interrupted us.

“Hello, Taylor, I’m Dr. Howard,” the woman said. She was tall and thin as a reed and had big brow-framed glasses on. Taylor and Dr. Howard shook hands and then I introduced myself.

“So, it says here that you are pregnant,” Dr. Howard said, looking at Taylor’s chart.

“It appears that way,” Taylor said.

“Okay, well, we’re going to do another test to make sure and then we’ll go from there, okay?” Taylor made me leave while she peed in a cup and only let me back in when she was covered in a paper gown that didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“You look so sexy right now,” I said and she narrowed her eyes.

“Shut up, Hunter.” Dr. Howard came back and confirmed the pregnancy.

I breathed a sigh of relief. So did Taylor.

“I was so worried you were going to tell me I made a mistake,” Taylor said as I got up and gave her a kiss.

“Nope, you are definitely pregnant,” Dr. Howard said with a smile.

“So, now what?” Taylor asked.

The appointment proceeded with a lot of questions and information. I was trying to remember all of it in case Taylor didn’t. Prenatal vitamins and do’s and don’ts and all that.

Finally, finally, we got to the ultrasound.

“Okay, I’m going to put some gel on your belly. Might be a little cold.”

Taylor held onto my hand as Dr. Howard squeezed the gel and then spread it around with the ultrasound wand. I didn’t know what the thing was technically

called.

“Okay, so here we have your uterus and here… huh…” I had no idea what she was seeing on the screen. It was just a lot of weird flickering to me.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor said, her nails digging into my hand.

“Well, it appears, my dear, that you are having twins.”

I almost hit the floor.

“Twins?” The word squeaked out of my mouth. “Are you sure?” There was just no way. It had to be a mistake.

Dr. Howard looked me right in the eye and smiled.

“Twins.” She turned the screen so I could see it and pointed out the two embryonic sacs. So fraternal twins.

“Holy shit,” Hunter said and then started laughing.

“I’m glad you find this funny because I’m not laughing right now,” I said, still completely in shock. I had just barely gotten used to the idea of one Spawn.

Now I had two of them?

Two. Babies.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I said and Hunter rushed around to help me sit up while Dr. Howard handed me a vomit bag. The nausea rolled through me in waves, but it passed as I breathed deeply.

“I’m okay,” I said, putting my hand up. “Just a little shocked,” I added, with what I hoped was a reassuring laugh.

“I know that’s a lot to take in,” Dr. Howard said. “I’m just going to take some pictures and then I can leave you two alone to talk. Then you can ask me any questions you have. Okay?” I nodded.

The rest of the appointment was a blur. I didn’t check back in until we were outside and walking across campus toward my car, a sonogram in an envelope in my hand.

“We’re having twins,” I said as Hunter got in the driver’s seat.

“We’re having twins,” he said, shutting the door. We both just stared at each other.

“Holy,” he said.

“Shit,” I added.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening,” I said.

“Me neither. I honestly thought she was screwing with us,” he said, pulling out the sonogram and staring at where Dr. Howard had circled the two babies.

“So what do we call them? Spawn One and Spawn Two?” Hilarious.

“Hunter. I’m gonna get huge.” I looked down at my still-relatively notpregnant stomach.

“Yeah, you probably are. You’re going to be a walking belly.” I smacked him on the arm. “Hey, it’s true! Two babies takes up more room than one.”

He had a point.

“Well now I’m mad at both of you,” I said to the Spawns.

“Guess I’m going to have to rethink the designs for the nursery since we’ll need to fit two cribs in there,” Hunter said.

“This is going to be nuts,” I said, shaking my head. Oh my God, two cribs.

Two cribs and two babies and two screaming things in the middle of the night. It dawned on me what we were signing up for and my heart started to pound.

We weren’t even adults! Oh my God, what was happening? My thoughts just kept spinning faster and faster and I could feel myself starting to lose it. My hands shook and my breathing was fast and shallow. Hunter saw me starting to freak and took hold of my hands.

“Taylor, there are two of us. And we have a houseful of people who absolutely love us and are going to pitch in and help. Sure, it’s going to be crazy, but that’s us, Taylor. It’s our life.” I wanted to strangle him.

“Hunter. You are being awfully cavalier about this. You’re not the one who is going to have to grow two humans inside you. You’re not the one who’s going to push them out of your body. God, if I can even do that. I might have to have a C-section. Oh, God.” I put my head in my hands and tried to keep breathing. It wasn’t working very well.

“I know, I know,” Hunter said, rubbing my back. “You’re absolutely right.

I’m sorry. Of course you’re going to be freaked out about everything. It’s your body that this is happening to.” I could hear him trying to placate me and it was just making me madder.

“I can’t be here with you right now,” I said, sitting up and pushing the door open.

“What do you mean?” He got out and started to follow me, but I put my hand up. I just couldn’t be with him right now. I had too much going in my head.

“I just… I need some time to think. Alone,” I said. He looked like I’d slapped him in the face.

“I’m going to take a walk. I’ll call someone for a ride. Just go home. I’ll be fine.” He opened his mouth to argue with me.

“Hunter. Please.” He clamped his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded, getting back in the car. I walked away, but it was a long time before I heard him start Sassy and leave the parking lot.

It was December, but the weather was mild for a Maine winter. Well, as mild as it could get. There wasn’t any snow currently on the ground, or ice on the sidewalk.

I wandered aimlessly around campus, up and down the grassy mall, around the dorms on one side all the way to the fitness center on the other. I didn’t have a destination, I just needed to keep moving.

Twins.

All I could hear in my brain was two babies screaming. Two babies demanding to be fed. How would I even do that? I mean, I had two boobs, but shit. How would that work?

How was I going to finish school?

There was just so much to think about. I wasn’t angry or upset about it, just… thrown. Totally thrown. I hadn’t even thought about this as a possibility.

Being blindsided yet again was the thing that got me the most. I didn’t blame the Spawns, or even Hunter. There was no one to blame. It had just happened and now I was going to have to deal with it.

My mind drifted back over the past year. I’d only met Hunter in September of last year. And now I was carrying his twins. If I could go back in time and tell myself that the guy I opened the door to, the one who I’d thought was our third female roommate, would be my fiancée and the father of the twins I was carrying only a short while later, I would have asked you what you’d been smoking.

Finally, I got cold and texted all the residents of Yellowfield House— except Hunter—for a ride. Renee responded first. I walked toward one of the dorm parking lots and told her where I was.

She arrived a few minutes later.

“Hey, is everything okay? How was your appointment?” I just gave her a look and buckled my seatbelt.

“I’m having twins.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“It’s true.” She started to laugh, but I gave her an icy glare and she stifled it.

“I’m sorry. I’m so not laughing at you, but holy shit, Taylor. Holy shit.” I threw my hands in the air as she pulled out of the lot.

“Don’t you think I fucking know that? Of course I’m the one who gets knocked up by accident with twins. Of course that would be me.” Renee snorted.

“You know it’s going to be okay though, right? You’ve got Hunter and you’ve got us and those babies are never going to want for anything. I mean, even though there’s two, I’m pretty sure we’re still going to fight over who gets to hold them.” Hunter had basically said the same thing. I would need to see the rubber meeting the road to believe it.

“I just can’t believe this is happening,” I said, leaning my head on the window.

“You’re in shock. That’s totally fine. I’m pretty sure anyone else in your position would feel the same. I can’t even imagine.” She shuddered.

“Well, I can’t either, but it’s happening.” I put my hand on my lower belly.

“Damn Hunter and his baby batter,” Renee said and I laughed.

“That is seriously gross, thank you.”

“Hey, you’re the one that’s had that in your body so don’t even say that to me.” It was true. When we were in the heat of the moment, I didn’t really think about it, but hearing Renee call it “baby batter” was just plain ew and yuck.

“See? Got you to laugh,” Renee said with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re good,” I said and she pretended to doff a cap.

“Thank you, thank you very much.”

Instead of taking me home, Renee drove us to a Starbucks.

“I know you can’t have caffeine, but they have good pastries and you can cool down for a little bit before we go home.” That was probably a good idea.

I’d simmered down a little, but I was still on edge and I might go off again.

Renee hooked her arm in mine as we walked in and ordered. She told me that it was on her, so I got a vanilla bean Frappucino and a chocolate croissant.

“So, do you want to talk about it or not talk about it?” Renee said as we sat down with our drinks and snacks.

I sighed.

“I don’t even know. It’s still so surreal. Even when she showed me the ultrasound. I mean, what are the chances?” Renee gave me a look.

“Do you really want to know, because I can pull out statistics.” I waved my hand.

“No, that was more of a rhetorical question. I’m just so not ready for this, Renee. I think that’s it. I just have this image in my head of holding two screaming babies, one in each hand, and trying to feed them at the same time. I can’t get rid of it.” When we’d first found out we were having a baby (now two) Hunter had been able to paint the rosy picture and make me see that it was possible. That we could do this, even if we were young.

Now I wasn’t so sure.

“Hey, look at that woman who had the eight kids at once. I mean, she was bat-shit crazy, but still. She had four times the kids and she didn’t have Hunter, or me or the rest of our friends. I know that’s not enough, but you do have support. You have a mom and a sister and Hunter’s family. You have a whole fucking village to raise these kids.” A woman walking near our table gave Renee a dirty look for swearing. Renee just gave her a sweet smile.

Renee got away with a lot, looking like a cute, wide-eyed little pixie.

“But what if that isn’t enough?” I said.

“It’s gonna have to be.” She had that right. These kids were coming whether we wanted them or not. I wouldn’t consider the alternatives. They weren’t alternatives for me. I wouldn’t dare judge any woman for the decisions she made for her body, but this was what I was going to do.

“Two babies,” I said.

“Two babies.”

I got back to an empty house and I felt like shit. I hadn’t wanted to drive away, but I knew she needed some time and I had to give it to her.

She’d left the ultrasound picture in the car, so I brought it in the house with me and sat down on the couch to look at it.

Two babies. We were going to have two babies. Fraternal twins, so there was a chance we could get a boy and a girl, which I was kind of hoping for. One of each. That would be ideal.

I couldn’t blame Taylor for being upset and scared. There were a lot of risks involved with any pregnancy and the potential for something to go wrong was higher than with just one baby. I was going to monitor her even more than I already was. I’d already put Dr. Howard’s name in my speed dial. Just in case.

Mase was first home, so he was the first one I told about the twins.

“Shit, really? Knocking it out of the park on the first hit, huh?” I shoved his shoulder.

“Shut up.” He smiled and gave me a hug, pounding me on the back.

“Congratulations again, man. I’m excited to be an uncle. It’s going to be great. You should call my mom and tell her. She’ll be over the moon.” Oh, she would be, that was for sure.

“Thanks. It’s going to be a whole lot crazier around here.” As if to

punctuate my point, Napoleon dashed through the living room, followed closely

by Smoky. Our new little kitten was holding her own with the older bruiser.

They were already best friends.

“What else is new?”

“True story.”

It was my turn for dinner that night, which was a good distraction. I decided to make lasagna, since it had so many steps. I made two pans so we had enough for leftovers, as well as a salad and garlic bread. By the time I was done, most everyone was home, but not my girl or Renee. I’d gone ahead and told everyone the news, showing the sonogram around. Mase handed me a beer and I got a lot of hugs and congratulations and shocked smiles. It made me so happy to know that Taylor and I were surrounded by such amazing people. And, by extension, our kids. Plural.

“Hey, everyone,” Renee said, coming in as I was setting food on the table.

I’d been worried they were going to miss dinner so I put some aside for them for later.

Everyone greeted Renee as she sat down next to Paul. Taylor slunk in behind her and everyone cheered.

“Mazel Tov!” Dusty said, raising his soda.

“Seriously, congrats you two,” Paul said as he filled Renee’s plate with food.

“Yeah, thanks. Um, Hunter could I talk to you upstairs for a moment?” I searched her eyes, but she was hiding her emotions from me. She’d gotten better at it lately and it drove me crazy. I very much liked knowing exactly what was on her mind.

“Of course,” I said and led the way upstairs.

I sat down on the bed as she closed the door behind us so there wouldn’t be any eavesdropping.

I was about to ask what she wanted to talk to me about when she grabbed my guitar and sat next to me on the bed.

“You sang this song to me once as an apology, so it’s my turn to sing it to you now.” She smiled slowly and started strumming the guitar.

“Honey Come Home” by The Head and the Heart spilled from her mouth and her fingers and it was so lovely and so sweet that I got a little choked up.

“Please. Just listen. I… I’m so sorry. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could show you, and this was all I could come up with. You don’t have to do anything but listen. Just listen.” Megan had given me a look as if she was imagining setting me on fire, but she’d left me alone with Taylor.

I was desperate. I was so desperate. I knew words weren’t enough, but a song could say what I couldn’t. And I was going to show her. God, was I going to show her that I had fucked up and I was going to do whatever I could to make it up to her.

I’d told her everything. About the check and the money and Joe and my parents. I’d been scared shitless, but it had also been freeing. To lay myself open like that for her and have her listen and then agree to go out to dinner with me.

Taylor smiled as she sang, her voice going smoky and deep. It really was beautiful, and not just because it was hers. Someday I was going to get her to duet with me in public. Someday.

The last note of the song wavered and died. Taylor took a breath and rested her arms on the guitar.

“So there you have it. I freaked out and I pushed you away, but I’m okay now. We’re having twins and it’s happening and I’m going to suck it up and try to look on the bright side. Because there are thousands of people who would love to be in our shoes.”

“We can do this.” I said, leaning over and kissing her, the guitar between us.

“We can do this,” she said into my mouth.

When we went down to dinner a few minutes later, everyone cheered when they saw that we were holding hands.

“Did you fuck and make up?” Jos asked.

“Not exactly,” I said. “That part will come later tonight.” That comment earned me a chorus of boos from the table and a smack in the stomach from Taylor.

“Pervert.”

“Perfect.”

“Daddy.”

“Mommy.”

“Seriously, you guys. I’m eating here,” Renee said. Taylor rolled her eyes and we sat down.

“Now you’re eating for three,” Darah said as Taylor filled her plate.

“That is an excellent point,” Taylor said, adding another piece of garlic bread to her already-full plate.

“You happy, baby?” I asked Taylor.

“I’m eating, so yes,” she said, stabbing her fork into her slab of lasagna.

“You know what I mean.”

She cut a piece and stuck it in her mouth, moaning in a way that made my pants tight. Maybe we should have fucked before we came downstairs.

“Yes, I am,” she said after she’d chewed and cut another bite. “Because if we have two girls, you’re going to be completely outnumbered and I would enjoy that a whole lot.” She grinned at me. Oh, she was asking for it.

“And if we have two boys? Then you’re the one who’s going to be out numbered.”

“Touché.” She bumped her leg into mine under the table.

“Oh! So, please don’t give your kids matching names. Like Alyssa and Melissa or something,” Renee said.

“You certainly have an awful lot of opinions about naming our future children,” Taylor said.

“Yeah, well, names are important. They help shape who you are and if they don’t match who you are, it can be a problem.” I understood that, I guess.

“We don’t even know what we’re having yet, so I think the great name debate is going to have to wait,” I said, taking Taylor’s hand under the table. She wrapped her fingers around mine.

“I know that,” Renee said. “But just… think about it.”

“We will. Would anyone else like to put in their two cents about baby names?” Taylor said.

“You know ‘Dustin’ is an excellent name. Full of character. And it could also work for a girl. I’m just saying,” Dusty said, putting his hands up. Jos rolled her eyes at him.

“You are so transparent sometimes.”

Other conversations broke out and I could see factions starting to form.

“They’re going to vote on naming our children, aren’t they?” Taylor said as everyone debated around us.

“Yup. They are. This is going to be a fun.”

“Yeah, for you.”

After a brief and almost violent debate about baby names, we all settled in for homework time. My mind was drifting, so I clicked on a few baby websites, searching for items specifically for twins.

“I’ll get you that one,” Hunter said, startling me. I was on the couch and he’d leaned over the back, right next to my shoulder. I’d been looking at breast pumps.

“It’s like, the Cadillac of pumps,” Hunter said, totally seriously.

“You’ve been looking at breast pumps online.” It wasn’t a question but he nodded.

“Yeah. We’re definitely going to need one, especially with two babies.”

Someone cleared their throat.

“Can we put a moratorium on the breast pump talk while I’m doing homework?” Mase asked.

Hunter shot him a dirty look. “Dude, just you wait.”

Mase shot Darah a terrified look.

“Don’t look at me, I have an IUD. No babies right now, John,” Darah said, kissing Mase on the cheek. He looked slightly mollified, but I decided to put breast pump talk on hold until Hunter and I were alone.

I had to turn in early and hated myself a little for it.

“We’re going to be middle-aged long before we’re actually middle-aged,” I whined as Hunter stripped out of his clothes and joined me in bed. It wasn’t even ten yet.

“We’re still going to be cool. We can be cool and have kids. Celebrities do it all the time. David Beckham has, like, four kids. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have, like, a dozen or something. No one would accuse them of being uncool.” It was a valid point, but I definitely wasn’t Angelina Jolie and probably never would be.

“My boobs are gonna get huge, you know.” They’d already started to get a little tender and I wasn’t looking forward to them swelling later in the

pregnancy.

“Oh, I know,” Hunter said with a leer before he rolled over on top of me and shoved his face right in my chest.

“Ugh, get off me!” I said, giving him a half-hearted shove.

“Hey, I’m going to have to share them, so I’m going to enjoy them while I can.” He slid down so he had his chin on my stomach.

“Hello, babies,” he said and then kissed my belly.

“Aw, Hunter. That’s really sweet.” I was getting choked up again. Damn hormones, making me all emotional.

“I don’t even know if they have ears or the ability to hear yet, but I’m going to assume that they do. Hello in there,” Hunter said the last part to Spawns.

“Are you going to sing to them?” I asked, stroking the top of his head.

“Of course. I want them to know my voice before they come out. I want them to know that their daddy is here for them and he’s not going anywhere.” I did start crying then.

“I’m sorry. It’s the hormones,” I said as Hunter passed me a tissue to blot my eyes.

“It’s okay,” he said, kissing my belly again before softly starting to sing “Honey Come Home.”

I fell asleep listening to Hunter singing to our babies.

“Twins?” Dad said, nearly choking on a piece of steak. We were at one of the nicer restaurants in Waterville. Me, Hunter and Dad. I’d just dropped the bomb on him and his eyes were bulging.

“Yup,” I said, sliding the sonogram over to him. He took it with shaking hands.

“Two babies?” he said again, his eyes filling with tears.

“Yeah. Two babies,” I said. His emotion was getting to me. Other people crying was now a trigger for me to sympathy cry, apparently.

“Oh, Taylor.” He set the picture down, got up and came over to hug me.

“Congratulations, that is so wonderful. Oh, that is so exciting!” He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. A few people in the restaurant were staring, but I didn’t care.

“Yeah, it threw us for a minute there, but now we’re full steam ahead,” I said, holding Hunter’s hand under the table. He smiled at me and squeezed.

We’d covered a lot of ground this week. Between the botched wedding attempt and the Spawns, things had been exciting to say the least. I was crossing my fingers they were going to calm down for a little while so I could catch my breath.

“Is there anything you guys need? I want to help any way I can,” Dad said, resuming eating his steak.

“Um, right now, no. We’re going to find out what we’re having before we go crazy buying everything. Two of everything,” I said with a laugh.

“Right now we’re looking for a good family car,” Hunter said. When he’d come to me and told me that he wanted to get something that would carry all of us, I’d been sure he was joking.

“You mean a mom-mobile?” I’d asked.

“Well, a dad-mobile, but yeah. Maybe an SUV or something. I refuse to drive a fucking minivan.” So he did have a line he wouldn’t cross. No minivans.

Got it.

“That’s wise,” Dad said. “Then you can try out car seats to make sure they fit properly. I remember when Taylor was little they weren’t nearly as complicated as they are now. I think some of them are parent proof.” The three of us laughed.

Car seats. We were talking about car seats. A lot of other girls my age were all about going out dancing and finding an eligible dude to hook up with. And I was talking about car seats.

The baby talk shoved aside any awkwardness that might have been present.

Dad was just so happy about the babies that he kept the conversation moving. He and Hunter got in a deep conversation about crib safety and I just watched and shook my head.

“So I want to come up and see you, see how you’re growing and changing.

At least once a month?” Dad looked so hopeful, I agreed. He was just so enthusiastic that it rubbed off on me.

“That was nice,” Hunter said as we drove back up to school. We’d stopped briefly and saw Mom. She’d nearly fallen over when we’d told her about the twins, but was just as happy as Dad. Everyone was happy, which did surprise me a little. I’d expected some resistance with Hunter and me being so young.

“So, I’m going to look for cars tomorrow with Mase. Do you want to come?” Hunter asked. I didn’t really care what he got, as long as I got to keep Sassy. I’d already figured out that you could fit two car seats in there no problem. So she was staying.

“No, I trust you. I have a ton of homework to do.” I yawned. The semester was almost at an end and in just a few weeks we’d be on winter break for nearly a month. I was very much looking forward to just having work and the clinic on my schedule for a while. And human-growing, of course. I never got a break from that.

“Okay. I’ll drop you off, grab Mase and then go,” Hunter said.

“Sounds good.”

“You tired, babe?” Renee said, stroking my hair. Crap. I’d fallen asleep on my textbook. Again. That had happened a lot these days. I’d been falling asleep in class too. Pregnancy rocked.

“Little bit,” I mumbled, shutting my book.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do about next year?” Ugh, I didn’t want to talk about it, but I needed to ask someone other than Hunter. He just kept telling me to do whatever I was comfortable with, which wasn’t a good answer when I needed his opinion.

“No. I really don’t think I’m going to be ready to go full-force with school next fall. The twins will probably come early, and I just can’t imagine leaving them every single day for hours when they’re barely a few months old. They’ll still be so small. I’m gonna be way too attached.” I knew that already. I’d bonded with the little suckers.

“I totally get that. Even though we’d all agree to babysit. I just think you’d be distracted worrying about them. Better to wait until they’re older and you’re ready to leave them. I mean, you could always double up.” I shook my head.

“No way. I’ll just do an extra semester. And it won’t be that bad because I can do summer courses and then I’ll only have two or three classes.” I’d already done the math, I just needed to make a definite decision. It wasn’t my initial plan when I’d come to college, but so what? Plans changed. Stupid boys came into your life. Twins happened.

“That all sounds good. Are you okay with that?” Renee had really been a fantastic support lately. Everyone had, but her especially. I didn’t know what I’d do without her.

I shrugged.

“It is what it is. An extra semester isn’t gonna kill me. Plus it will give Hunter time to find a teaching position and me a chance to find a job.” For right now, the plan was to stay in this area, in this house. Hopefully we’d have good job luck so we didn’t have to move. That was my worst fear. Moving away from the support system I was already relying on.

“True. Hey, do you want me to rub your feet?” I gave her a look, but nodded.

“I’ll just be careful not to hit any pressure points. You have to do a special kind of massage during pregnancy because if you hit certain spots, you can bring

on labor.” She was a fountain of medical information. Sometimes it was good and then sometimes she was telling me all the gross things that were going to happen to my body that I definitely didn’t want to know about ahead of time.

“You take such good care of me,” I said, sighing and closing my eyes again.

“Someone should. I mean, besides Hunter, who is doing a great job, by the way. That asshole.” I snorted.

“Yeah, he’s the worst.” The best. The absolute best. Christ, he was out right now buying a damn car just to tote our kids around in.

“You picked yourself a good one,” Renee said.

“That I did.”

It didn’t feel like I had picked him, or he had picked me. We’d picked each other. Equally. For reasons we didn’t even understand at the time.

I thought about that first night when we’d flipped the recliner. I’d known that night that I could trust him. I could always trust him. With me and with Spawns. He was going to take care of us.

Over the next few days, I was completely wrapped up in school, work, the clinic and human-growing. My grades had started to slip a little, and the only thing I could think to do about it was cut back my hours at work, which I did.

Hunter told me he could pick up the financial slack. We still had a pile of his money that we could always use, but I wanted to save as much of it as we could for the babies. It was still a relief to know it was there.

The whole Vegas disaster kept bugging me. I was totally guilty of bailing on Hunter and I just couldn’t figure out what my problem was. There was absolutely no reason I couldn’t suck things up and marry him. None. So why did I keep holding back?

It was Pinterest that finally gave me the idea. Well, Pinterest and Hunter.

He mentioned us maybe going away for an actual non-eloping getaway and suggested the Norumbega Inn. My head exploded and I got online as soon as I can to start looking up ideas. I spent hours of time I didn’t have looking things up. It really was a sickness.

I called Hope about it the next day.

“So I have kind of a crazy idea,” I told her.

“Oh, I love those kind. Do tell.” I laughed and filled her in.

“Do you think it’s doable? I mean, by this summer?” I asked.

“Honey, you are talking to the queen of planning. If you asked me to, I could have this whole shindig ready for you next weekend.” That was probably true.

“Right, but it might be a little cold.”

“True, true.” We hatched some more plans and she hung up after promising she would start getting things together.

Next, I hunted down Jos. I had to let her in on the secret as well because I needed her musical expertise.

“Dude, this is my dream. I’m so happy you asked me. I’ve got your back,” she said, squeezing my hands for a second and then dashing downstairs to get her laptop.

Of course Dusty was down there so he immediately found out, and he asked if he could get the Steiners involved.

“That actually makes sense. But don’t tell them yet. This is a long way off and I don’t want the surprise spoiled beforehand.” Dusty just gave me a thumbs up.

“Secrecy, you got it.”

I was so giddy about my secret plan that Hunter noticed.

“What are you so happy about?”

“I got my pants on without busting the zipper,” I said, showing him. I’d had to thread a rubber band through the buttonhole so they’d stay up, but that didn’t

matter. They were on and they weren’t going anywhere. Gold star for me.

“You get excited about the oddest things,” he said, poking his finger at the button.

“Hey, it’s all about the little things.” Keeping Hunter in the dark about this plan was going to be rough, but if I could pull it off? It was going to be incredible.

Taylor’s entire family, including her dad, came over to Hope and John’s house for Christmas Eve. Hope didn’t do anything halfway, so I wasn’t surprised by the two Christmas trees standing in the foyer. Taylor’s dad let out a low whistle.

This was his first visit.

“Fancy digs,” he said, looking up at the chandelier.

Every year Hope did a theme for the decorations and ornaments and this year it was blue and silver, so everywhere you looked there were blue and silver ornaments, ribbons and bows. She also had little winter scenes set up and Bing Crosby crooning in the background.

Hope passed around hot toddies to those that were of age, or not pregnant, and we all settled in the formal living room around the fire. Seven wheeled around, covering everyone with tinsel and telling them what she was asking Santa for. I’d gotten her a pink guitar last year, so this year I went with a new guitar strap and some glittery picks. It wasn’t a huge gift, but she got plenty of stuff from her parents and Mase. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she was spoiled, not in a bad way anyway. She got what she needed, and she knew we all loved her to pieces, which was what I wanted for our babies.

Taylor was showing now and seeing it made my heart thump with joy.

Every time I looked at her my eyes slid down to her belly. Usually I’d catch her resting her hand on the bump, completely unaware she was doing it.

Her morning sickness had subsided a lot and we were both hoping it would go away completely when she started her second trimester. I never thought that I would know so much about pregnancy, but I’d been cramming my brain full of as much information as I could get my hands on. I even stole Taylor’s books read them when I had down time on campus. I’d gotten some very interesting looks when people walked by me reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting in the Union. Not that I gave a fuck. They weren’t the ones with a pregnant fiancée.

Taylor was deep in conversation with her mother and Hope about various pregnancy symptoms and I was keeping my two cents out of it.

Darah was playing cat’s cradle with Seven and Mase, John and Joe were chatting with Taylor’s dad about the economy, politics and capitalism.

I just sat and watched my family.

I had lost a lot, but I had gained so much. My life might have been so different if my mother hadn’t had a sister like Hope. I might have ended up in foster care and who knows where I would be now. Probably not engaged and preparing for twins while in my senior year of college. Or maybe I would.

Maybe life would have still led me to Taylor. There was no way to know.

I jumped a little when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“You’ve got your speculating face on,” Taylor said in my ear.

“Do I?” I said, turning and putting my arm around her. She had a gray sweater dress over leggings and boots and I just wanted to take her home so I could get her naked. Her sex drive was way up and I was definitely enjoying the perks of pregnancy.

“Yeah. What are you thinking about, baby?” She put her hand on my chest.

“Life. How it can change. And how good it can be.” I smiled down at her and she sighed.

“It is good now, isn’t it? And just think, next year Spawns will be here. Are you going to dress up as Santa?” I grinned at her.

“You bet I am. They’re going to be too young to know what the hell is

going on, but we’re still doing it.” She nodded.

“Absolutely.”

We ended the night singing carols together and Taylor fell asleep in my lap.

Tomorrow we were going to her mom’s for Christmas day after we’d opened our own presents at the house.

“By the way, I didn’t get you a present this year. Your presents are right here,” Taylor said when we got home, pointing to her bump. I leaned down and kissed the spot she’d pointed to.

“I know that’s a lie,” I said, getting back up and kissing her forehead. “But even if it was true, that would be more than okay with me. You’ve already given me more than I could ever ask for.” She snorted.

“You always say the nicest things, you asshole.” I laughed and carefully picked her up to carry her upstairs.

“Happy Christmas Eve, Missy,” I said.

“Happy Christmas Eve. Our last without screaming children. We should probably treasure it, but all I want to do is put on my pajamas and pass out as you sing to me.” I set her down on her feet in our bedroom and went to the dresser.

“Well, I can certainly help with that.” I pulled out two wrapped packages.

“What is this?” she asked as I handed one of the presents to her. I ripped open the other one. I already knew what was in it, but it seemed more fun this way. I loved watching her face as she unwrapped the pajamas I’d gotten for her.

They had peacock feathers all over the flannel while mine were covered in the number seven. Of course.

Taylor giggled and stripped, pulling on the pajamas. I helped her button them and then put mine on.

“I think we should make this a tradition. We each get a new set of pajamas on Christmas Eve and then we all put them on and sit around and sing together.”

I’d made it a rule to sing to the babies every single night. Taylor and I used to play and sing together and called it “music sex” but this was something different.

I thought of it more as family music time.

“I like that. And I was also thinking that we should give them each a book to read. There’s this tradition in Iceland where everyone gives each other books on Christmas Eve and they spend the night reading. I want our kids to love books.” I adjusted my guitar strap and sat next to her, fiddling with some of the strings.

“Our kids are going to love books. I don’t think there is any way they wouldn’t,” I said. “But we can definitely add that. I don’t want our kids to be dumb.” Taylor smacked my arm.

“Our kids aren’t going to be dumb. And even if they are, we’re going to tell them they’re smart. Because everyone is smart in their own way.” She had a very good point.

“That’s true. At least we know they’ll probably be able to sing.” Taylor had a beautiful voice.

“True. If we have enough then we can be the new Von Trapp family.” That made me laugh really hard.

“You think that’s funny, but this could be our ticket to ride. I mean, what’s the point of having children if you can’t exploit them for money.” She winked.

“Exactly. Put ‘em to work as soon as you can.”

“That’s all I’m saying.”

We sang some carols and I made hot chocolate and flameless s’mores which Taylor ate the majority of. I let her because she was carrying our babies.

“I hope we don’t suck as parents,” she said, licking Nutella off her fingers.

“We’re not going to suck. And if we do, we have a lot of people who will tell us we’re sucking and give their opinions on how we can stop sucking.”

Between all the people in our house and our two families, we were already drowning in unsolicited advice. I just figured we would figure it out when they got here. Besides, none of the advice-givers had raised twins, so at least we had that as a reason to ignore them.

“And if we mess it up, we have enough money to afford fancy therapy for

them. There’s no losing.” She patted her belly.

“You guys are set,” she said to them.

I liked to think I was skilled at giving Taylor presents. They weren’t always material things, and I always tried to make sure they were a surprise.

This year, my girl outdid me.

“Do you like it?” she asked, twisting her fingers together as we sat on the floor of the living room next to the artificial tree.

I opened my mouth to say something, but no sounds would come out. I just sat there, looking at the beautiful silver pocket watch. On the back it was engraved To Hunter from Taylor and Spawns. We love you more than the stars.

One side of the face was the watch part and the other had the sonogram picture with the two babies circled.

“Oh, Taylor,” I said, my voice cracking. I used one hand to wipe my eyes as I held onto the watch with the other.

“I read somewhere that a watch is a customary gift, so I thought this would be nice. And who the hell wears an actual watch, these days anyway? This seemed a lot cooler. But if you hate it, I can exchange it or something.” She rambled while I tried to collect myself. Finally I looked up at her, ignoring the tears. They were going to come and I couldn’t stop them.

“It’s beautiful. I love it,” I said, leaning toward her to give her a kiss. I wrapped her in my arms and held her tight.

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Taylor Elizabeth Caldwell. Never doubt that for a second.” She sighed, as if in relief.

“Oh, good. I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe it was dorky—” I stopped her with a kiss.

“It’s perfect,” I said, resting my forehead against hers. “It’s perfect. You’re

perfect.” She chuckled.

“I know that’s not true, but who am I to argue with you?”

She opened my present next, which made her cry as well.

“It’s beautiful.” Carefully, she drew out the necklace from the velvet-lined box.

“It’s a Celtic knot that symbolizes motherhood,” I said as she examined it.

The silver was twisted to make several entwining hearts, with a single diamond in the center. After the twins were born I planned to get both Taylor’s and their birthstone added as well. One thing was for sure, having the babies was a great excuse to buy Taylor presents.

“It’s so beautiful, Hunter.” She turned and lifted her hair so I could clasp it around her neck. It rested just below her clavicle. Perfect. Her fingers stroked the silver.

“I love it, thank you.” She gave me a kiss and then we got dressed to head down to Waterville.

Christmas with my parents and Tawny started out subdued and quiet. We had our traditional Christmas lunch of quiche, bacon, croissants and fruit. Well, I skipped the bacon. And everyone else got to have coffee. I wanted to stab someone with my knife just to get a sip. The entire time, Mom had the radio station that played twenty-four hour Christmas Carols on. It was much less grand than Hope and John’s, but it was also more comfortable because it was the same every year for us. Even Dad seemed more relaxed, despite Tawny giving him

dirty looks every now and then.

Mom had hauled out the fake tree and covered it with all the ugly ornaments Tawny and I had made during grade school that she refused to throw away.

“Mom, this one is literally raining macaroni everywhere,” I said, pointing to one that was a portrait of an animal? Probably? Something like that.

“No way, Kid. You made that for me with love and I will keep it forever,” she said, standing between me and the ornament. I was going to argue.

After lunch we all exchanged presents, including those that Hunter had got for my mom and dad. I told him he didn’t have to, that I had already picked out a bracelet for my mom and a set of books for my dad, but he refused.

“Thank you, Hunter, this is lovely,” Mom said about the vase she unwrapped and then Dad was thrilled with the shaving kit.

“Ass-kisser,” I muttered under my breath, and Hunter just gave me a smug smile. He was trying to get my parents to like him more than me and it was working.

“Okay, I know it’s early, but I couldn’t resist,” Dad said, handing me a package. “This is for them.” I didn’t need to ask who “them” was.

I unwrapped the box to find two infant onsies each with “my grandpa loves me” on the front.

“Oh, Dad. You’re such a dork.” I got up and hugged him.

“I couldn’t help myself.”

But then Tawny gave me a gag gift that she called the “after baby kit” that included a bottle of tequila, coffee, a membership to a company that would send you a different kind of cheese every month and a box of tampons. Mom was pissed at her for the gift, but I was kind of excited about it. Even if the temptation to break out the tequila was something I had to actively fight against.

“Can you take anything seriously?” Mom said to Tawny.

“Mom, it’s fine. It’s just a joke, calm down,” I said, being the peacemaker between the two of them. Tawny got up from the couch and I followed her.

“You doing okay?” I asked. She’d escaped to her room. Mom kept our rooms like they were since we lived here so Tawny’s angry band posters were all still up. She rolled her eyes as she lay back on her bed.

“Yeah, fine. Why?” She covered her face with one of her arms. Her tone was flat. Yup. Definitely something up.

“Talk to me. I know I’m the younger sister, but I might be able to offer some sort of advice. Or I can just listen.” I nudged her feet and she uncovered her face.

“I think…” she said, her face going white as she took a shaky breath. “I think I like girls.”

Oh. OH. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I really needed to hurry up so she didn’t think I was upset about it.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” I said, hoping she would tell me what led her to this particular conclusion. It was shocking, to say the least. I’d never heard her say or do anything that would indicate her feelings about that, but what the hell did I know?

“I’m still kind of freaking out.” I could see that. Her hands trembled as she stared at them.

“Tawny, you can talk to me. About anything. Especially something that has you so tied up inside. Please talk to me,” I said, squeezing her foot.

She took another breath.

“Well. I guess I just… I don’t know. I signed up for one of those stupid online dating sites. Not one of the good ones that you have to pay for. One of the free ones. So basically I started getting dick pics and creeper messages right away. I just sat down and was thinking ‘God, I would rather eat glass than go on another date with a guy’ and then, I don’t know. It was like I opened a dam and

all these thoughts and questions started rushing through. I’ve never enjoyed being with a guy. Maybe that’s TMI, but whatever.” There was no such thing between the two of us. She was getting emails and texts with all my gross pregnancy details.

“I do not find penises arousing. Like, not at all. I look at one and ugh.” She shuddered and I laughed. I couldn’t help it.

“So you like girls,” I said.

“I think so?” She made a growling noise and covered her face with her hands. I got up and hugged her.

“Hey. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and whatever you figure out, I’m here for you.” She melted into me, hugging me back.

“Thanks. I knew you wouldn’t care, but that was still really scary.” I could tell; she was still shaking a little.

“Well, this changes my dating advice,” I said, pulling her so we could sit on the bed together.

“Little bit,” she said, laughing.

“Okay, so, what kind of girls do you like?”

Hunter came to find us nearly an hour later. We were on my phone, searching through pictures of girls so we could make a list of who Tawny found attractive so she could figure out what kind of girl to go after.

“She’s hot,” he said, leaning over my shoulder and pointing to a picture of Natalie Dormer.

“Obviously,” I said. Tawny grabbed my phone and hid the screen.

“Mind your own business, Zaccadelli,” she snapped, shoving my phone at me and leaving the room.

“Whoa, what was that?” Hunter said, sitting next to me.

“Sister thing,” I told him. This was Tawny’s secret and I would die before revealing it to someone if she didn’t want me to.

“Uh huh,” Hunter said, giving me a look that said he didn’t believe me.

“Gimme a sec,” I said, leaving the room to find Tawny. What I found was her sitting our parents down in the living room.

“Mom. Dad.” Was she doing this now?

Hunter stood beside me.

“What’s going on?” he whispered and I shushed him.

“What is it? Did you lose your job? Cancer? Is it cancer?” Mom said, clasping her hands together and gasping.

“Let’s just hear her out before hitting the panic button,” Dad said.

“No, I didn’t lose my job and no, it isn’t cancer. Although I do seem to have caught a bad case of the gay.” I covered my mouth to muffle a snort.

“You caught what?” Mom said in confusion.

“Did she say ‘caught the gay’?” Hunter asked as I tried not to burst out laughing. There was one thing Tawny wasn’t, and that was subtle.

“You’re gay. Is that what you’re telling us?” Dad asked. Tawny nodded.

“Oh, thank God,” Mom said, clutching her heart and then getting up to hug Tawny. “I thought there was something really wrong! Don’t do that to me, ever again, Tawny Nicole!” I lost it, bending over and laughing until tears were streaming down my face.

Dad also gave her a hug and Hunter went over as well.

“Well, now we have another thing in common,” Hunter said, giving her a hug and then a fist bump.

I think she assumed it was going to be a bigger deal than it turned out to be.

My parents were pretty whatever about anything except for bad grades and poor romantic decisions.

“You know, I always wondered a little,” Mom said later as we sat on the couch.

“You did? Why didn’t you say anything?” Tawny said, throwing up her

hands. “You might have saved me so many years of confusion.”

“I didn’t know for sure so I didn’t say anything!”

All in all, Christmas that year was anything but boring.

“I hate that all of you get to go nuts and I have to sit here with my stupid apple cider crap,” I said, staring into my glass of “pregnant champagne” as everyone was calling it.

It was New Year’s and I had a cute dress on and the girls had done my hair, but I was still a little bummed about my lack of alcohol.

“Aw, it’s still going to be a good year,” Hunter said, kissing my cheek. In solidarity, he was also not drinking. I told him he didn’t have to, but he said he loved me and didn’t want me to throw this back in his face when we argued. He did have a point, so I gave up fighting.

“I have to push two humans out of my body this year, but sure,” I said and he scowled at me.

“It’s gonna be great.” It was. As soon as the snow melted and it warmed up outside, we were starting on the addition to the house. After his meeting with the contractor Hunter decided to expand all three floors, so we were adding two more bedrooms and expanding the kitchen on the first floor, as well as the living room. One side was going to turn into my dream library, and the guys were going to expand their gaming area, which was definitely a good idea because they were usually all over each other as it was.

My super-secret plan was also moving full steam ahead and I had a trip planned with Hope just after my second ultrasound. I’d finally let Darah and Renee in on the secret and they were all thrilled to be part of the master planning. Plus, it was easier to get things done because we just called it “girl time” and let Hunter go hang out with Mase, Dusty and Paul. We were both

trying to get in as much friend time as we could before July.

Not that our lives would suddenly be over.

Just different.

Tawny called me just before midnight and told me that she was at a bar and looking for a girl to kiss. Guess she had embraced her sexuality completely. I just laughed and told her to make sure whoever she kissed wasn’t straight and/or in a relationship.

“Thanks, Kid,” she yelled into the phone before she hung up.

We all counted down to the new year and kissed when the ball dropped in Times Square.

“Happy New Year, Missy. Happy New Year, Spawns,” Hunter said, rubbing my belly.

“Happy New Year, father-to-be.”

I spent the rest of my winter break sleeping and working extra hours at the clinic. Mel had found a lot of jobs that allowed me to get off my feet, for which I was grateful.

“My stupid ankles are already starting to swell,” I said, holding my feet out one night and pouting.

“Oh, I’ve been there. People say that pregnancy is beautiful, but so much about it just isn’t.” We both laughed and she asked me if I was ready to have some more hours on the phone. I shook my head.

“No, I wish. I’m extra emotional and I don’t think that would be good for

anyone.” She said she understood, but I still felt guilty.

I hadn’t told anyone, but I was starting reevaluate my desire to work in a crisis center like this one. I’d wanted to do it for so long, but I just wasn’t sure I was ready to handle that kind of stress and responsibility. I didn’t know if I could come home from work and leave it behind to focus on my family.

I had a little freak-out the next Wednesday and sat down to talk to Mel again. I’d just been washing some of the donated clothes when it came over me.

My heart constricted, I couldn’t take a full breath and I thought I was going to die. I’d had to sit right down on the floor and tell myself that I was fine and needed to just calm down. I wasn’t sure what brought it on. Maybe it was thinking about all the laundry in my future.

“Oh, I remember having an anxiety attack at the end of my junior year, Taylor. I think everyone questions all their life decisions at that point.” I nodded.

“Something I might suggest is to make an appointment with your academic advisor.” That was something I hadn’t even thought of. “They might have some better advice. But for what it’s worth, Taylor, I think you can do this. I think you have the passion and the drive to be really good. But if you decide it’s not for you, it’s better to figure that out sooner rather than later.” It all made sense, so I emailed my advisor and asked for a meeting when the next semester started. I also needed to talk about reworking my schedule and pushing back my graduation date.

I tried not to be down about it, but sometimes I got a little blue. Good thing my friends were always there to remind me that this part of my life was only temporary and a few years down the road, none of this was even going to matter.

They had good points, as always.

I had the tables turn on me when Hunter told me he was going to drop the Steiners. Suddenly I was the one talking sense into someone else. I had to sit him down and tell him I didn’t want him to do that.

“You love singing with them and you’re good at it. I don’t want you giving stuff up because you think I want you to.” He tried to convince me that he

should, but I put my foot down.

“The only reason you should quit is if it doesn’t make you happy. We both know it does. I see you light up when you’re on stage. So shut up and rub my feet.” He rolled his eyes, but caved. That was one of the good things about being pregnant. I could pretty much get away with anything. Not that I used that to my advantage. Much.

I had my second appointment with Dr. Howard, this time without an ultrasound.

Just a quick check to make sure everything was going well. We wouldn’t get to know what we were having until 20 weeks, which was about a month away.

“You didn’t find another one in there?” I asked Dr. Howard.

“I don’t think so, but you never know.” She listened with what was called a Doppler and then told me that there were just two heartbeats.

Yellowfield House was already taking bets on what we were having and it was getting pretty heated. Darah even made a chart on a special whiteboard she’d bought and drawn little babies on it. It was terribly cute. So far Darah, Dusty, Paul and Hunter were rooting for one boy and one girl. Renee, Jos and I were rooting for two girls. Mase was the lone holdout for two boys. They were also voting on: my due date, the weight of each baby and their length. We had quite the little betting ring going for the Spawns, but everyone was having so much fun with it, I couldn’t rain on their parade.

We all started our second semesters at the end of January and Hunter was ready to graduate, as well as Mase, Darah, Paul and Renee. They liked to rub it in that

they were going to be done before me, but then I reminded them that they all wanted to get advanced degrees so they weren’t leaving school anytime soon.

“What a bunch of nerds we are,” Hunter said.

“Nerds make more money,” Mase pointed out.

It was true.

Poor Jos and Dusty had at least two more years of their undergrad and got grumpy anytime someone else talked about graduation.

It was going to be weird because we were headed toward an ending. It wasn’t realistic to think that everyone was going to stay in Yellowfield House next fall. UMO just didn’t have graduate programs for everyone, so there was going to be a split of sorts.

I tried not to think about it, but I caught Darah and Mase talking very intently in the kitchen when they didn’t know I was home.

“Whoa, what did I just walk in on?” I asked.

“Nothing,” they both said in completely unconvincing tones.

“Okay, I’m not even going to pretend that I believed you. What’s up?” I sat down and they gave each other one of those looks that couples who have been together a while can have where they communicate without words.

“I got into law school. In Portland.” I knew he’d applied. He was getting his undergrad in International Relations with the ultimate plan of being a lawyer specializing in immigration.

“Congratulations!” I said, even though my heart was sinking.

“If I could stay here, I would.” I waved him off.

“Mase. I’m not going to make you give up law school so you can stay home and babysit for me. That’s ridiculous. And what are you going to do, my dear?” I asked Darah.

“Got into USM for my master’s in accounting,” she said with a shrug. As if it was no big deal.

“Dare! That’s awesome! And totally perfect because you can move to Portland. I’m a little jealous.” I really was happy for them. I could see them both

heave a sigh of relief.

“We’re not going to head out until after the babies come, don’t worry,” Darah said with a smile.

“I know. And I am thrilled. We all have to grow up sometime.” They both hugged me and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone. They made an announcement at dinner and Renee cried. Of course. But then she announced that she’d gotten into the master’s program at UMO. Paul was going to be getting a master’s there as well, so they were staying. Thank God. Not everyone was leaving the nest yet.

Valentine’s Day came and with it the first ultrasound with the potential to see the sex of the babies. I was twenty weeks along and dying to know.

“I know I made a bet, but I really don’t care,” Hunter said. “And hey, we might end up with two genderfluid kids, so who knows?” He did have a point there.

Dr. Howard did the drill with the gel.

“Are you ready to find out?” Hunter had his phone, ready to send a group text the minute we knew. Everyone who lost the bet had to take the winners out to dinner.

“Okay, now if Baby A could stop moving for a second…” The babies had been very active lately. The first moment I’d felt them move had been absolutely surreal. I’d screamed at Hunter and he’d run over to put both hands on my belly.

He’d cried when he’d finally felt that little flutter for the first time, and of course that had made me cry. We were a wreck. Since then, everyone had wanted to put their hands on my belly, especially Renee and I wanted to wear a sign that said “do not touch.”

“Do you want to know the sex?” We both nodded.

“Looks like Baby A is a girl.” A little shriek escaped my mouth and Hunter

pumped his fist in the air.

“We’ve got a least one!” Dr. Howard laughed as she pointed out the little girl bits and then moved to Baby B. “I don’t know who was betting on what, but Baby B is a boy.” Hunter jumped out of his chair and did a Rocky victory run around the room before I told him to stop gloating.

“One of each,” I said. Now we could pick out names and really start putting their room together. I didn’t want to go super heavy on boy = blue and girl = pink because that was just stupid. Hunter and I had decided on a storybook theme and a friend of Summer’s agreed to do a mural for us for free if we bought the paint.

Hunter texted the gang and his phone started blowing up while Dr. Howard wiped the gel off my belly.

“So, one of each,” I said, giving Hunter a kiss. “So then we’ll be even.”

“That’s what you think. I’m going to get them both on my side and then you’ll be mean Mom who’s no fun,” he said as we left. I laughed.

“That’s what you think, but I’m the one who can put the fear of God in them with one look. I’ve been practicing.” It was a variation of Resting Bitch Face, I was pretty sure.

Hunter pretended to cower.

“Oohhhh, terrifying. Now tell me you’re going to send me to my room without supper.” I just narrowed my eyes slowly.

“Now that is terrifying.”

“So, you are vetoing the name Hunter II,” I said as Taylor and I lay in bed that night. Now that we knew the genders, we were officially talking about names.

I’d gotten several books and Taylor had a few sites up on her laptop.

Naming your kids is not easy. We’d already begun to take each name and make sure we could minimize the ways other kids could make it into something dirty or gross.

“We are not using our son to feed your ego,” she said, crossing it off the list I was making.

“But then we name the other one Taylor II, see?” She shook her head.

“Then we couldn’t call them by their first names and we’d have to call them by their middle names and that’s just stupid.” I was only joking about the names. I just hadn’t seen any that I was really excited about.

“What do you think about waiting until they’re born? I always think it’s a shame that people stick their kid with a name before they even meet them. The name might not even fit.” Taylor chewed on her pen and thought about that.

“You’re right. So maybe we should make final lists of names and then when they’re born we can match the baby with the name.” Excellent.

“Oh, and middle names yes or no?” She nodded.

“Middle names definitely yes. Because then you can make them scared

when you use their first and middle name when you yell at them.” I pointed my pen at her.

“Good point. We need to take any advantage we can get.”

We stayed up for hours, looking through lists and lists of names.

“We should probably look up the meanings too. We don’t want to name our kid something that really means asshole in Swedish or something,” Taylor said.

“Yes, we definitely don’t want to name our kid Asshole.” I wrote that down and then crossed it off. She chucked her pen at me and then we were rolling around on the baby books and taking our clothes off and forgetting about any names other than our own for a while.

Taylor was a little self-conscious about her body, but I did whatever I could to reassure her that she was still so, so beautiful. The bigger she got, the more fascinated I was about her body and its ability to sustain not only her life, but that of Spawns, who we were now calling Boy Spawn and Girl Spawn.

I could spend hours just staring at her belly and pressing my fingers in to feel them moving.

“It’s really creepy if you think about it. They’re like parasites. Sweet parasites that we love and protect,” she’d said. “But if anyone tried to harm them, I don’t even know what I would do. I’ve never felt that way about anything. Except maybe for you.”

I agreed with her totally. On the nights when I still woke up from the start of a nightmare, I would imagine them to bring myself back. My little girl, with Taylor’s sass and my little boy, who was a bundle of energy and into everything.

Or maybe our boy would have the sass and the girl would have the energy.

Either way.

Spring was always chaos, but this was a whole other level. Between my very pregnant fiancée, studying, supervising an addition on the house, Steiners and sleep, I was going non-stop.

Taylor had to keep reminding me to slow down and chill every now and then. One night when I had been grinding on my homework for hours, she came

over with cold beer and handed it to me without a word.

“Oh, how did you know I needed this?” She sat down next to me, her hand on her belly. She did it so often now, sometimes rubbing in little circles, as if soothing our babies.

“Because I’m psychic,” she said, tapping her forehead. “I think you should go with Mase and Paul and Dusty and have a boy’s weekend.” I opened my mouth to tell her all the ways that was a terrible idea, but she put her hand up.

“You have done so much for me. I’ve been a complete pain in the ass and I want to do something for you. So, I booked a hotel in Portland and you are going. Go out, have fun, or stay in and watch porn. I don’t care. Just have a good time. The girls will be here to take care of me. Renee has already been charged with texting you periodic updates.” She’d cut down all of my objections before I could even raise them.

“So, that’s what you’re doing.” She crossed her arms. There was no fighting with her.

“Okay, okay. But not just want one text a day. Several times a day. And probably at night.” She rolled her eyes but agreed to humor me. Her pregnancy was higher risk because of the twins and there was definitely a possibility of early labor. I hated to leave her, but she had a point. The longer I waited, the harder it would be to go at all.

I did need some time away, and I knew the other guys did as well. Plus, Mase wanted to scope out the going out scene he was going to have for next year.

When I told them what was happening, none of the other guys were surprised. I was a little pissed that I was the last one to know, but I sucked it up, packed a bag, kissed my girl, kissed my babies and headed out the door.

“To senior year, babies and good times,” Mase said as we all raised our glasses at the small tavern we’d found in the Old Port. Dusty was a little upset that he couldn’t have a beer, but the rest of us were sampling the craft brews on tap.

“Damn, that’s good,” I said after the first frothy sip. “We should put in a bar downstairs.”

“Now that is a good idea,” Mase said. “Then you could have something on tap for whenever you wanted it.” Dusty and Paul nodded.

“Yeah, but I don’t really need a bar when my kids don’t currently have a place to sleep.” Mase snorted.

“That’s probably a good point. So, you’re excited about fatherhood?” It did feel a little weird to be the only one of my friends who was in my situation, but something told me at least one or two of them would be following in my footsteps very soon.

And then who would they be asking for advice? I was going to become the Yoda of parenting.

“Yeah, man. I couldn’t be more excited. Sometimes I feel like I’m actually going to explode.” They all shook their heads.

“More power to you,” Paul said. “I don’t see Ne signing up for babies anytime soon. Or ever.” I could see that. Renee had had enough of raising her siblings, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she was done with kids.

We talked about work and school and our girls and I felt myself really relaxing for the first time in weeks. Of course I missed Taylor, but it was nice to be out of the house with the guys for a little while.

After we ate and had drinks, we wandered around and then had a nightcap at another bar before crashing at the hotel.

True to her word, Renee sent me my updates on Taylor. She was doing fine, watching movies and pigging out with the girls. Renee sent me a picture of Taylor with a bowl of ice cream balanced on her belly and it made me smile. I was glad she was having fun too.

The next day we went bowling (Zaccadelli/Mason vs. Sharp/Buckley; Mase and I smoked Paul and Dusty. It was almost embarrassing for them, but they were good sports and lost gracefully. Or at least they didn’t complain too much), toured a brewery and got a little drunk again while listening to a terrible band at another bar.

You’d better be sober when you get home Taylor said and I just laughed.

“We should do this again for your bachelor party,” Dusty said when we drove home the next morning. I yawned and nodded. We were all crammed into his Golf, since it was the only vehicle that could fit all of us that also was currently working. Dusty had been taking things slow so we didn’t completely bottom out. Mase and I had most of the backseat, which still wasn’t much room.

“That would be great but I still have no idea when I’m getting married.

Might be a while now with the twins coming. I’m pretty sure Taylor doesn’t want to put on a gown with her belly and have all of our wedding pictures like that.” Definitely not. I could tell her she wasn’t fat until I was fucking blue in the face, but she was still going to criticize what she saw in the mirror.

“Dare and I might get there before you,” Mase said and I turned in my seat to glare at him.

“Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” I said and his face got a little red.

“Yeahhhhhh, um, I kinda picked out a ring.”

“What the hell, dude?” Paul and Dusty started laughing at me for being so mad.

“When did you decide to propose?” He shrugged. Mase was so chill about everything.

“Honestly? Like, two seconds after I met her, but I figured it would be a good idea to wait a little bit.” It was true. Mase and Darra had hit it off from day one.

“When we get back I want to see. And you’d better not propose better than I did. Girls compare this stuff.” I was totally happy with how I had proposed, but

if Mase outdid me, I was going to be pissed. Mase and I had always been competitive, though.

“You’re going to outdo me in the baby category. I’m pretty twins are not in the future for me and Dare. Unless there’s some twin gene that we both have.”

That would be crazy. Hope would lose her mind in the best way with that many grandchildren.

“What about you, Paul? Any plans on proposing.” He snorted and shook his head.

“Renee is not a fan of marriage. So I’m thinking we’ll just stay together and maybe when we’re fifty we’ll head off to Vegas one weekend.” There was a little twist in the pit of my stomach when he mentioned eloping to Vegas.

“So don’t get married. You don’t have to,” I said.

“Right. I mean, my mom would like it, but she doesn’t really get a say. My priority is Ne.” The spotlight turned to Dusty and he just smiled and shook his head.

“Dude, my house just burned down. I can barely afford underwear right now let alone a ring. And I’m pretty sure Renee would kill me if I proposed.

Besides, I feel like we’re not even close to being ready for that. No offense, but holy shit, the idea of marriage and babies scares the shit out of me.” He laughed and I couldn’t blame him.

“Um, they scare the shit out of me and I have twins coming in a few months.”

The minute Hunter was off with the boys, Darah, Renee, Jos and I sprung into action. Well, they did the springing and I waddled along behind them. Even though the wedding was still a few months away, I was paranoid about getting everything done in time. The dresses might require alterations, which would take time to get done. I wasn’t leaving anything to chance.

Mom, Tawny, Hope and Harper met us at the boutique so they could add in their two cents. I had quite the entourage.

“I look fat,” I said, pouting in the mirror.

“You’re not fat,” Darah, Renee, Jos, Megan, Tawny, Hope and my mom said in unison.

“You look purty, Taylor,” Harper said, giving me a thumbs up.

But all I could see in the mirror was belly. Since I was going to be seven months along when I wore this dress, I’d brought a fake belly to add over the one I already had so I could get the fit right.

“So this one is a no?” Stacey, my consultant asked.

“Yeah, I feel like it’s just not right.” I felt bad for being so picky, but this was her job and I was pretty sure she got paid well for it.

She helped me navigate back to the dressing room. This was the third dress I’d tried on and so far I wasn’t feeling it. Unfortunately, my options as a pregnant bride were a little limited. Not that I had really cared what kind of dress I was going to wear before now. I knew some girls planned out their weddings when they were five, but I never had. So now I was totally lost and had no idea what I wanted.

“Don’t get discouraged. We have a lot to try on yet,” Stacey said. She was painfully upbeat and it was almost making things worse.

Stacey helped me out of previous dress and grabbed the next. This one had lace sleeves up top and then a little ribbon just before it flowed out into soft tulle. I loved the ivory color. I didn’t want a glowing white dress and not because of that whole white-purity thing. It just didn’t look good on me.

“Oh,” I said as Stacey arranged the skirt and finished tugging here and pulling there.

“I don’t look like a walking belly,” I said, totally amazed.

“It’s gorgeous on you, really.” She was paid to say that, but I could tell she really meant it. “Want to go show?” I nodded.

I really liked this one, but I wanted to see what everyone else thought. This dress definitely wasn’t what I would have initially chosen, but the longer I had it on, the more I loved it.

The minute I came around the corner, my little entourage gasped. My mom put both hands to her mouth and tears formed in her eyes.

“Stop it,” I said, pointing at her. Now I was getting choked up.

“It’s so beautiful, Tay,” Darah said.

“It’s perfect,” Renee added. Jos gave me a thumbs up and blew me a kiss, while Megan sobbed into a tissue. Tawny, Hope and Mom were clutching onto each other. Harper clapped her hands in glee. It was all very dramatic and wonderful at the same time.

I looked at myself in the mirror and turned side to side.

Perfect. It was perfect. You could still tell I was pregnant, but a pregnant woman wearing a beautiful dress.

“And now we’re going to ‘jack you up’ as we say in the business,” Stacey said, pulling my hair back, pinning it in a loose bun. Then she added the veil. I didn’t want my face covered, but I did want there to be something.

She spread the veil over my shoulders and I lost it. I wanted to blame the hormones, but that wasn’t all of it.

“I’m guessing by the reaction that we like this one,” Stacey said, handing out tissues.

“That’s an understatement,” Mom said, wiping her eyes and then blowing her nose. “Kid, you look so beautiful and I’m so proud of you.” That just made me cry harder. I wiped and wiped my eyes so I wouldn’t drip on the dress.

“Hunter is going to shit his pants,” Tawny said and Mom didn’t even

admonish her for cursing in public.

We all laughed and then things calmed down a little.

“Do you want to try on any more, or is this it?” Stacey asked.

“This is it,” I said. “This is definitely it.”

With my dress safely tucked into a garment bag, it was time to find dresses for my bridesmaids, maid of honor, Hope and Mom. Harper’s dress was being custom-made and would be arriving in a week or so. Hope, saint that she was had found it on Etsy and I’d just fallen in love. It had already been a long day, so I was relieved to put my feet up and let them do the work while I watched Harper, who was attempting to touch all of the dresses in the store.

For colors, I wanted to go with the shades from a peacock feather. I mean, what else would I do?

Mom found an absolutely stunning royal blue lace dress that made her look like she was my older sister, and Tawny found an olive green silk dress that made her skin glow. Jos, Renee, Megan and Darah found dresses in different styles, all in varying shades of blue from light to turquoise. Hope’s dress was an unbelievable shade of blue silk that was almost purple. It made my head hurt how gorgeous she looked.

They all stood together in front of me.

“Momma, you’re a princess,” Harper said and Hope blushed.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Wow. You are all ridiculously beautiful. How did that happen?” They laughed. I was shocked that I got not only my dress, but all of their dresses in the same day. That just didn’t happen ever.

We all went out to dinner together to celebrate.

“Have you guys picked out names?” Mom asked. I groaned.

“We’re making a short list, but we are not telling anyone because we can name our children without the input of the peanut gallery, thank you very much,” I said, glaring at all of them.

“We just don’t want you giving your kids crazy names. What’s wrong with that?” Renee said.

“When you become a human factory, then you can be in charge of naming babies. But these two are ours.” I put my hand on my belly and one of the babies gave me a little bump, as if to say “That’s right, Mom.” “I think we should have a toast,” Tawny said. “To Taylor and Hunter and the two little Zaccadellis. May their lives be filled with hope and happiness.” We clinked our glasses together and I thanked them all for being such good sports.

Not one of them had hesitated when I’d sprung the idea on them. They’d just dropped everything and asked how they could help.

I was so beyond lucky.

We hit the jackpot the next day at the craft store when we found bundles of peacock feathers.

“What if we do them as arrangements with these flowers,” Megan had suggested. She had already done a bunch of planning for her own wedding, so she’d brought me a stack of magazines and sent me tons of pictures to get me inspired. Along with the feathers, we found containers for the centerpieces, ribbons, bows, candles and a kit to etch wineglasses with our names and the date on them as favors.

We also found a purple headband that we were going to put feathers on for Harper, who was going to be our flower girl. Her dress was white with colored ribbons flowing from a belt that had a peacock feather on it. Hope had sent me a video of Harper wearing it and singing “Here comes the bride” at the top of her

lungs. It was going to be so painfully cute.

By the end of day two, I was so tired I wanted to cry, but we had gotten so much done. Mom had taken the gowns and all the other supplies to stash at her house. The only things left to deal with were the cake, the menu and making sure that everything made it to the location and got set up on time. Thankfully, I had minions for a lot of that.

I was starting to feel like this idea hadn’t been completely insane in the first place.

“This is so cool,” Jos said, sitting next to me on the couch. I had my head resting on my hand and the other on my belly. Spawns were dancing away in there.

“Yeah? You don’t think it’s sappy?” She laughed.

“Of course it is. That’s what makes it so great. Seriously, Hunter is going to die.” I honestly didn’t know how he would react. I just hoped he was going to be happy.

It was a little weird planning everything without him, but I knew he would have just told me to do whatever I wanted anyway. He was good like that.

“I hope he loves it,” I said through a yawn.

“He will. He definitely will.”

The boys came home from their weekend none the wiser that we had done anything but sit around, watch movies and paint our toenails.

Hunter came back much more relaxed and I kicked myself for not making him go sooner. The two of us were going to be parents, but that didn’t mean we weren’t still people. It was hard to remember that I was still Taylor when all I could think about was Spawns.

The weeks dragged on and Spawns, and by extension I, got bigger. I worried every single at appointment that Dr. Howard would tell me that something was wrong with one or both of the babies, but so far everything was progressing just the way it should be. The wedding plans were moving along as well. I’d finalized the menu, picked the cake (one main cake—half chocolate with Nutella filling and half red velvet—in tiers of peacock colors, along with cupcakes to supplement.) We’d also gotten a lot of the centerpieces done.

More than once, Hunter caught me talking details with one or more of my friends, but I just told him that it was baby stuff and he seemed to accept that. I thought it was because he was so distracted by everything, including the addition.

Summer’s friend, Kate, had shown us her ideas for the mural in the new nursery and I was totally in love. It was all images from books along with quotes Hunter and I had picked out.

Before we knew it, it was time for my baby shower.

Since we weren’t traditional, Hunter and all the guys came to Hope’s house, along with my girls, Meg and Jake, Tawny and Mom. I’d thought about inviting some people from classes or the clinic, but I wanted it to be smaller. I’d never been big on those huge celebrations and I didn’t have any intention of starting.

The big present came from my mom and Hope in the form of a top-of-theline double stroller.

“This is nicer than my car,” Mase said, wheeling the thing back and forth.

There were also onesies and diapers and two bath sets and books and toys.

There was so much stuff that we’d had to Hunter’s new Ford Escape which had been dubbed the “Spawnmobile” to haul it back to the house.

“Thank you everyone for showing us and the babies so much love. We

don’t know what we’d do without all of you, so thank you,” I said, toasting everyone with my sparkling grape juice as Hunter stood at my side.

I consumed twice as many cupcakes as I promised myself I was going to.

Seriously, you’d think I wouldn’t have room with two little humans in there.

“You’re eating for three,” Hunter said in my ear as I stared at yet another one sitting just a few feet away.

“Good point. I knew I loved you.” I grabbed the thing and shoved it in my face. I barely remembered to take the paper off. Spawns were big fans of sugar.

Hunter had found me this chocolate that had chili peppers in it and I had been eating it by the block.

My entire body had started to swell, even my face, but I told myself it was temporary and it was all for Spawns and I could embarrass them in the grocery store for years to come to make up for it.

“You almost ready for graduation, Mr. Zaccadelli?” I asked Hunter as we drove home. He would be walking in his cap and gown in about a month and a half. All we had to do was get through finals. I was pretty sure it was going to kill me.

“That I am, Miss Caldwell. Are you happy about being done with junior year?” I nodded, but I was also a little sad. With the arrival of Spawns, I was saying goodbye to the traditional college experience. No frat parties and staying out all night and waking up on the lawn in my underwear.

Not that I’d ever done any of that, but now that I couldn’t, I wondered if I had missed out anything. But then Spawns would move or Hunter would smile at me and I would realize that what I had was so much better.

My girl was growing. It defied the laws of gravity. I honestly wondered how she didn’t tip right over. But she didn’t complain. Much. Even when she needed help tying her shoes and picking things up. I was more than happy to help with all of it.

“I feel like a little kid again. Everyone has to take care of me,” she said, pouting as I helped her get undressed for bed. She’d been sleeping naked because of hot flashes during the night. I wasn’t complaining, even though she’d abandoned me for a huge body pillow.

Even the two house cats had become obsessed with Taylor. More often than not, I would have to get up in the middle of the night and let them in so they could lay on, or near, her. It was so cute that I couldn’t even be mad.

The changes in her body were sometimes subtle, but all put together she didn’t look the same as she had before Spawns. It only made my love for her deepen. Now I loved her not only for being my girl, but for being the mother of my children.

“So, I was thinking,” I told her one night. She cracked her eyes open and gave me a look that said “this had better be good.”

“I was thinking that I don’t feel the huge pressure to get married that I did a few months ago.” She froze and narrowed her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I rolled on my back and looked at the ceiling. “I mean that if you never want to get married, that would be okay with me. That I don’t feel like it’s something I desperately need anymore. I think I was just so worried that if I didn’t have that, that somehow you would leave me.” I turned back over to find her shaking her head at me and rubbing her fingers between her eyes.

“I don’t even know what’s happening right now,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I was so confused.

She took a breath and then gave me a smile.

“Nothing, nothing. That’s fine, Hunter. That’s good to know.” She almost sounded mad and I wasn’t really sure why.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, you know that, right? If you told me tomorrow that you wanted to try Vegas again, I’d book the tickets in a second.” She smirked and then rolled onto her back.

“Ouch.” She rolled back over. There were only a few positions she could lie in comfortably now.

“Great. That’s great, Hunter.” She almost sounded like she was laughing at me. No idea what that was about.

The first person I saw after I walked across the University of Maine stage and got my (fake) diploma was my very pregnant Taylor.

She had a gorgeous black dress on and she was rushing down the stairs as fast as she could.

“Congratulations, baby,” she said, moving her belly to the side so she could hug me. We’d had to modify a lot of things lately to accommodate for Spawns.

The upside to all of it was that she was completely insatiable, so the sex was almost constant. I was not complaining. At all.

“Thank you,” I said, kissing the top of her head. Hope and John were next, followed by Harper. The rest of the Yellowfield House crew was here too, since the other seniors’ graduation was the following weekend.

“Your mom would be so proud of you,” Hope said, kissing my cheek.

“I know,” I said. There were times when I felt like I was going to turn around and see my mother’s beaming face right behind me, and this was one of those times. As if she was just a few steps away.

The graduation party was back at Yellowfield house, with Mase manning our new grill and everyone eating and talking about how warm the spring was.

Taylor was on a chair, a plate resting on her belly like a shelf.

“I think I’m going to miss this part,” she said, pointing to the plate.

“The built-in plate holder?” I said, pulling a chair next to her.

“Yeah. It’s going to be strange when I go back to not having my body like this. I won’t even know what to do.” Then she sighed. “No sexy bikini this summer for this girl,” she said.

“Hey, you can still wear one while you’re pregnant. You have a bikini body.” She gave me a look as if I had lost my mind.

“You have a body. Put a bikini on it.” She smacked my arm.

“Don’t get sassy with me. I’m just so glad that school is over.” She looked up at the sun peeking out from behind the clouds.

“No papers and exams and projects for a while. But I know I’m going to miss it when I have two babies screaming at me in the middle of the night. I’ll probably beg to go back.”

Harper rolled by, Mase pretending to chase her and growl, his fingers like claws.

“The grass is always greener,” I said.

She looked back down at me.

“I think the grass is pretty green right here, right now.” I kissed her and she rubbed her hand across the tattoo on my arm, inked with her writing.

“It was smart to get my tattoo where I did, wasn’t it?” she said. “I wasn’t even planning that, but it would make me so sad if it had gotten all stretched out.” I kissed her hand and she closed her eyes, setting her plate down and then leaning her head on my shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said and I knew she really meant it. “I’m so proud that I’m with you. That we’re with you.” I felt myself getting a little choked up and had to put down my beer so I could wipe my eyes.

“I’m proud of you, too, Missy. So proud.” She sighed and then fell asleep against me.

Now that school was over for a while, it was full steam ahead on the nursery.

The flooring finally got put in after a few nasty phone calls, so it was time to paint and decorate and get it all set up.

Everyone chipped in and we knocked out the painting in two days. We left the wall for the mural plain white, and then the rest were a very soft dove gray.

The cribs sat along one side with changing tables, rocking chairs and a massive bookcase along the other. Huge windows let in a ton of light.

“Happy?” I asked Taylor when we finished moving in the majority of the furniture and other items. She looked exhausted, but serene.

“I am. I really am.” I slid to the floor and held out my hands so she could join me on the big plush rug in the center of the room.

“Can you believe this? In a few months we’re going to have babies in here,” I said. She shook her head.

“Sometimes it still doesn’t seem real. But then one of them will move and

I’m reminded. It’s so crazy. But I’m happy. I’m so happy, Hunter.” I pulled her toward me.

“I didn’t know I could be this happy. I don’t think anyone’s been this happy, ever.” I would put money on it.

A few days later, Taylor woke me up in the middle of the night.

“Hunter!” I snapped upright, nearly smashing my head on the bed.

“What is it?” She had her hands on her belly and was grimacing. Shit. Oh, shit.

“I think it’s those fake contractions, but I’m not sure.”

“Braxton Hicks?” She nodded. And then shook her head.

“I don’t know. I can’t really tell. Other than that it hurts and pain is usually bad.” I got out of bed and threw some clothes on, then helped her get dressed.

We had a number to call, but I wasn’t taking any fucking chances. We were going to the emergency room.

The house was quiet as we left and I didn’t want to freak anyone out if we were just going to be heading home in a little while.

Taylor clamped onto my hand and tried to breathe as I speeded the short distance to Eastern Maine Medical Center.

I didn’t know the difference between fake and real contractions and I knew that early labor was common with twins, so it was better to be safe than sorry.

Hunter got me a wheelchair and a nurse took us over to one of curtained rooms and checked my cervix. I wasn’t dilated, so she told me it was Braxton Hicks and to go home. She was actually almost nasty about it. As if we had wasted her time.

Hunter didn’t like that at all, so he found another, nicer, nurse who came and checked me again. If I’d ever been modest, that would have gone right out the window by now. There was no such thing when you had people inspecting your junk to make sure babies weren’t coming out of it before they were supposed to.

The pain finally subsided a little and the nurse explained, nicely even, that we only needed to come in if I started bleeding, if my water broke and/or if the pains were regular, five minutes apart or less. See? Would it have been so hard for the first nurse to explain all that to us? Now we wouldn’t have to come back and waste more of her precious time.

I committed everything to memory and then asked Hunter take me to the twenty-four hour fast food restaurant so I could get a shake and a giant container of fries.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as I dipped the fries in my shake. It was absolutely the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted. I wished I’d gotten another shake.

“I mean, it hurts, but it’s getting a little less. I feel like an idiot now.”

Hunter growled.

“You’re not an idiot. That first nurse was. I thought I was going to scream at her. Seriously. Probably would have if the other nurse hadn’t been willing to help us out.” He was pissed, but he simmered down when we got back. After I told him once again that I was fine.

I was stressed the fuck out not only because of the Braxton Hicks but because of the wedding. It was a week away and I had finally let Mase, Paul and Dusty in on the secret. They were all kinda mad that the girls knew way before they did, but then I just gave them a look and they shut their faces.

It was Mase’s job to make sure that Hunter’s tux was the right fit, without Hunter being the wiser. Not an easy task, but he somehow managed to get one that he hid in his closet, along with the rest of the suits for the other boys.

The centerpieces were done. The other decorations were ready to be put up.

My dress still fit. The other dresses were set.

Now all we had to do was get Hunter there without him figuring everything out.

Oh, and hope Spawns stayed right where they were and didn’t make their appearance before they were supposed to.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

I was getting married.

“So, what are we doing?” I asked as Taylor started giving me directions to get on the highway, her eyes glued to her phone. She’d been ignoring me a lot today and I was trying not to be offended.

“We’re going to this baby store that I found online. They sell the cutest things and I want to check them out,” she said, but I just didn’t believe her.

Something was up. There had been a lot of commotion this morning and everyone mysteriously had plans today. They were all terrible liars, but I couldn’t figure out what the hell they could be lying about.

“You know they have more than enough stuff already,” I said.

“Shut up and drive.”

I did, but I was really confused as to where the hell we were going. Taylor had me take the exit in Belfast to head down the coastal route. I was about to ask if she wanted to stop and get something to eat in Camden, when she grabbed my arm.

“Pull over. I want to stop here.”

It was the Norumbega Inn. The place held all sorts of memories for us, even though we’d only been here with her once.

“Looks like they have something going on,” I said. The usually empty parking lot was filled and there was a crew setting up a tent in the back.

“It’s okay, let’s just go in and look around.” I started to argue, but thought better of it. You didn’t argue with a woman pregnant with twins and come out alive.

So I got out of the car and took Taylor’s hand as we headed to the front door. A woman rushed past us, muttering something to herself.

“They really seem busy, Missy.” Taylor just rolled her eyes and pushed the door open.

“Surprise!”

“What the fuck?” I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Hope, John, Mase, Taylor’s mom and dad and all of our other friends were standing in the lobby.

I turned find Taylor grinning at me.

“Surprise,” she said, waving her hand around. “We’re getting married.”

I gaped at her.

“We’re, what?”

“Getting. Married. I mean, not legally. We can do that next week. But this will be the real thing. That will be just for the paperwork. So, get upstairs and put your tux on. I have to go get ready.” She smacked a kiss on my cheek and started to walk away, but I was still holding her hand.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“One hundred percent. No cold feet this time.” It was such a contrast to Vegas when she’d been so unsure. Jittery. There was nothing of that in her face today. Just a brilliant smile that lit up the room.

“I’ll see you in two hours,” she said, taking Darah’s arm.

“We’re getting married in two hours.”

“Yup.”

Mase dragged me off to one of the rooms to get ready. Apparently we had the entire place to ourselves.

“How the hell did she pull this off?” I asked as Mase shoved a garment bag in my hands and pointed toward the bathroom.

“She had help, but most of it was all her,” he said. I shut the door of the bathroom and had to sit on the edge of the bathtub for a second and take a breath. I pulled out my phone.

We’re seriously getting married?

The answer came a second later.

Yes. Now put your tux on.

I laughed because I could hear her voice saying it in my head. Oh, Taylor.

Shaking my head, I unzipped the garment bag. How they had gotten this, I had no idea, but I put it on and it was perfect. Right down to the black skinny tie.

I came out and found John, Joe, Mase, Dusty and Paul all waiting, dressed in black suits, with ties in varying shades of blue.

Peacock colors. Of course.

“Looking good, but let me fix that tie,” John said, stepping forward. It wasn’t until then that I noticed the photographer taking pictures. There had probably been one downstairs when we’d walked in, but I’d been too surprised to notice.

John fixed my tie and then pinned a white rose to my lapel and tucked a paisley handkerchief in my pocket. More peacock colors.

My feet were shoved into shoes and then Mase passed out shots to all of us.

“To Hunter and Taylor. Though this wedding is fake, your love is real. And I maybe should have let Darah write my Best Man speech for me. To Hunter and Taylor!” I laughed and threw back the shot, letting it burn down the back of my throat.

“I’ll do much better at your wedding, Mase.”

I had been freaking out since the night before, making sure that everything was in place, everyone was where they needed to be, and that I wasn’t going to go into labor. Unlike with Vegas, at least this time I was freaking out for all the right reasons. By the time I was sitting in a chair and getting my hair and makeup done, I felt like things might be okay.

The weather was absolutely perfect. I’d been worried that it would be cold, since it was still early May, but it was seventy-five degrees with just a few puffy clouds in the sky.

My mom fussed around me, making sure I was eating and that I wasn’t stressing. Which was, ironically, making me stress.

“Mom, I’m going to need you to stop hovering and sit down so you can get your hair done.” She grumbled, but did what I said.

“If I could pass you a flask, I would,” Tawny said in a low voice.

“Thanks, that means a lot,” I said and she stuck her tongue out at me.

“So,” she said as I closed my eyes so the makeup artist could do my eyeliner, eyelashes and shadow.

“So…” I said, drawing the word out.

“I may or may not have met someone.” She didn’t specify gender.

“Someone? Or some girl?” She laughed.

“Some girl.”

“Yeah? Details.”

Her name was Magan and she worked for an IT company and had come to the law office to install a new system. She and Tawny had chatted and one thing

led to another and they’d been out to have coffee once, with another date planned next week.

“Is she cute?” I asked.

“Um, yeah. Dark hair in a pixie cut, nerdy glasses. She’s a little shy, but super funny. I don’t know, I just really like her.” I could hear it in her voice. I’d never heard Tawny talk about a guy that way. Ever. She even laughed differently when she talked about Magan.

“Well, as long as she’s got a stable career, that’s all I care about,” Mom said, adding her two cents. “I don’t want you hitching your wagon to someone who wants to be a freelance glassblower or something.” That led to much debate about the value of glassblowing as a career choice and by the time I was putting my dress on, we were all laughing and I was ready to sprint down the aisle so we could get the party started.

“Oh, Taylor,” Mom said when I adjusted the dress, making sure the tulle flowed over my belly and the lace top was sitting perfectly on my shoulders.

“Good?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, tears in her eyes as I crouched a little so she could pin the veil to my updo.

“Dammit,” Renee said, reaching for the tissues.

“No one ruin your eye makeup yet!” I said, because their getting so emotional was making me emotional. Plus the hormones. Spawns were dancing with joy, as if they knew there was excitement in the air.

“I’m marrying your daddy today,” I said, stroking my stomach.

“Oh, please stop. My emotions can’t take it,” Jos said. She looked stunning with her red hair and sky blue strapless dress. I looked around the room and tried to take it all in. It seemed like I had been planning this forever and now it was here. I didn’t want to blink because I was afraid I’d miss something.

“Are you ready?” Mom asked and I nodded.

My bridesmaids and maid of honor gave me hugs and air kisses before they left. Mom was last.

“I am so proud to call you my daughter. I’m so excited for this life you’re building for yourself. I love you, Kid.” I wiped my eyes and she gave me a huge hug before letting my dad in. I had hesitated for about five seconds when I thought about him walking me down the aisle, but I couldn’t imagine telling him that he couldn’t, or that I didn’t want him to. Sure, we were still working on fixing what was broken in the past, but we were getting there.

“You ready, Kid?” he said, after gushing about my dress.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Of course we were getting married in the gazebo. Susan was still working here and either she didn’t remember us, or Taylor had fed her a story about how we had postponed the wedding. Or maybe she’d just paid her. I almost didn’t want to know.

The money aspect was something I was going to take up with her later, but right now? I was getting married.

The wait for Taylor took forever. The only guests at our wedding were all in the wedding party, so we hadn’t even needed chairs.

I waited alone with Susan as bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the grass toward the gazebo, led by John, Hope and Harper. She had a little basket and was throwing out petals like she was having the time of her life. I got a little choked up when she came up the ramp and beamed at me.

“Good job, Seven,” I said, giving her a high five as she went by me. Renee and Paul were next, followed by Jos and Dusty, Mase and Darah and then Tawny and Taylor’s mom.

Finally.

Finally.

The music changed, thanks to Jos (our unofficial DJ). I expected the traditional wedding march, but my girl wasn’t having it.

“Wedding Dress” by Matt Nathanson started to play as she and her dad walked down the hill. I fucking lost it. There was just so much going on inside me and I couldn’t handle it. Mase nudged me and handed me a tissue he’d pulled from his pocket. I thanked him as the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen walked toward me on her father’s arm. Walking toward me to claim me as hers.

I hadn’t meant to start crying the minute I saw him in the gazebo, but I couldn’t help it. He was crying too, so the two of us were just a wreck. But at least we were a wreck together.

I had a death grip on Dad’s arm and Spawns were doing summersaults inside me. They knew. They knew that something exciting was happening.

The walk toward Hunter took forever and no time at all. One minute I was yards away from him and the next I was hugging my dad, handing off my bouquet and taking Hunter’s hand.

“You looks so beautiful,” he whispered as the song faded.

Susan gave me a wink. I’d called her a few months ago and had laid out the whole story. Fortunately, she was a romantic at heart and told me there was a cancellation on the weekend of May 7th. I’d known it was fate.

My hands shook a little as I clasped both of Hunter’s. Spawns had gone still, as if they were waiting and listening too.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the love of this man and this woman, and the love they share together as they build their family.” I told Susan I didn’t care a whole lot about what she said, as long as we got to say our own vows and there was nothing about “obey” in them. I definitely drew the line there.

“These two people have come together and asked you to witness their love.

Although, one of you didn’t know you were doing this until a few hours ago.”

We all laughed and Hunter wiped his eyes again.

“But love doesn’t run on a schedule. It has its own timetable and sometimes hits you when you least expect it.” I smiled at Hunter and he smiled back. If that wasn’t the perfect way to describe our relationship, I didn’t know what was.

“The couple has chosen to write their own vows and will now read them to each other.” Hunter’s eyes went wide in panic. I started laughing.

“It’s okay, Hunter. You always know the right words.” I squeezed his hands and he cleared his throat.

“Love isn’t a mistake. I don’t know if it was God or a computer glitch that threw you into my life, but I am so grateful for it. I am grateful for each and every moment with you. Even when we’re fighting, or you’re mad at me. I would not take one of them back. You are my girl, my wife, the mother of my children. I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow.

More than the stars.”

Yeah, he always knew the right words. I wiped my eyes and pulled the piece of notebook paper out of my bra to some snickering.

The words blurred before my eyes and it took me a second to collect myself.

“Hunter. When we first met, I thought you were going to be a girl. But you weren’t. You were a boy with tattoos and an attitude and you drove me crazy. I actively tried to get you out of my life, but you just wouldn’t go. I couldn’t get rid of you. And then I didn’t want you. You jerk.” More laughter.

“And now, here we are, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the

world with anyone else. You are there for me when I need you, you support me when I need you. You’re everything that I need. And I wanted to bring you here today and plan all this to show you that I love you and I will never stop. More than the stars.” I had to resist kissing him with every bone in my body. It wasn’t time.

“Now we have the rings,” and Hunter looked terrified again, but Mase nudged him and dropped the ring I’d had custom-made to fit around my engagement ring into his hand. Harper handed me the ring for Hunter. It was a plain dark silver band with engraving on the inside.

“Repeat after me, I Hunter, take you Taylor,” Susan said.

“I, Hunter, take you Taylor.”

“To be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for now and always.” I hadn’t wanted to put the death part in because it seemed so morbid, so Susan had made that change.

Hunter repeated the words and then slid the ring on my finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

Then it was my turn and I almost dropped the ring, but managed to get it on his finger.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your beautiful bride.” Hunter grabbed me and kissed me hard. I kissed him back and one of us shoved our tongue in the other’s mouth and then we were making out to the cheers of everyone in the gazebo.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Mase said with a chuckle and we finally parted.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for hours and it’s been driving me crazy,” Hunter said. “I love you, Missy Girl.”

“I love you.”

He leaned down and placed two kisses on my belly before taking my hand and leading me out of the gazebo.

My husband.

After the ceremony, Taylor and I took pictures, along with the rest of our family and I finally got a chance to ask her how she’d pulled this off.

“Well, it wasn’t easy, but you were pretty oblivious so that helped.” I growled at her and she laughed. The photographer just kept snapping pictures.

“I just hope you like everything, because I couldn’t get your input.” It didn’t matter.

“I would have married you in a parking lot in our pajamas. But everything so far has been perfect. Who knew you had skills as a wedding planner?”

She beamed.

“I’m a woman of many talents.”

I hadn’t even thought about the reception until she said that it was time.

We all moved over to the tent and I was absolutely amazed by how gorgeous it was. The peacock theme continued with streamers, bows on the chairs and centerpieces, all in the peacock colors with feathers everywhere.

Jos was our DJ here too, apparently, because she was the one who introduced us as we walked in together. Our small group cheered and then we sat down to dinner. Taylor had picked steak and lobster as the main entrée, with vegetarian pasta for her.

“I didn’t want to make everyone eat pasta,” she said when I asked her about it.

Champagne was passed out, with a bottle of sparkling cider for Taylor, which I also drank in solidarity. Mase was getting a kick out of banging his knife against his glass to get us to kiss.

As maid of honor and best man Tawny and Mase both got up and made

speeches about Taylor and me while we ate. We laughed and cried some more and our family did their best to embarrass us as much as possible. There were many jokes about this being a shotgun wedding and it being good that Taylor’s dress wasn’t purely white, which we just laughed off.

“I have one more surprise for you,” Taylor said as I helped her to her feet for our first official dance as man and wife. I expected her to just play a song, but then, from the back of the tent, the UMaine Steiners appeared, all dressed in their best. Dusty joined them and they all clapped and gave me congratulations as they arranged themselves around several mikes.

“Shall we?” Taylor said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“We shall,” I said and the boys started to sing. “Dance Me to the End of Love.” So perfect.

Taylor and I swayed, her bump between us, but not keeping us apart. I couldn’t resist sliding one of my hands down to rest there, feeling the twins.

“They’re dancing too,” I said and she smiled.

“They’ve been excited all day. I told them I was marrying their daddy and I think they approve.” She smiled up at me through tears and I kissed her softly.

My wife. My Missy.

Since Taylor couldn’t dance as much these days (except for the traditional dances with me and then with her Dad), we ended up sitting a lot and watching our dorky friends and family try to shake it. Well, except for Mase, who was literally dancing circles around everyone as Darah clapped and watched, a glowing smile on her face.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they got married soon,” Taylor said, resting her chin on my shoulder.

“I know. I’m not supposed to say this, but Mase has a ring. He showed it to

me and it’s massive. She’s going to die when she sees it. He’s just planning the perfect way to propose. I told him he couldn’t outdo me and I think he’s taken that as a challenge.” Taylor giggled.

“Let him have it. Your proposal will always be the best to me. Isn’t that what matters?” I turned and kissed her cheek.

“You’re right.”

She yawned and I asked her if she wanted to go to our room. She’d secured the one with the library for us, which was no surprise.

“No, I want to stay a little longer. They’re all having a good time.” Harper was grooving with Tawny, Mase was doing circles around Darah, making her laugh, Paul and Renee were dancing close, as well as John and Hope while Jos and Dusty fought over which song to play next. Joe chatted with Taylor’s mom and her dad was standing off to the side, but he didn’t seem sad. Just watching.

Like me.

“They are. I don’t know how you did it, but I know I couldn’t have done anything better. I couldn’t have wanted anything other than this.”

She sighed.

“Good. Then it was worth it.”

“Definitely.” I rubbed her belly and was rewarded with a few little bumps against my hand.

“Now no one can say that Spawns were born in sin.” Taylor rolled her eyes at me.

“I will throat punch anyone who says anything like that. Seriously.

Becoming a mom is making me lose my chill again.” She flexed her fingers.

“Maybe you should get back into kickboxing.”

“That’s probably a good idea. I’m going to be so glad when I can move without difficulty that I think I’m going to want to go nuts. Of course, I’ll be chasing after them.” She smiled when she said it, though.

“And I’ll be right behind you, baby.”

She kissed my nose.

“Only so you can check out my ass.”

“Well, it is a great ass. Have you seen it?”

“No, I haven’t seen any part of myself for a long time.”

We both laughed and I pulled my wife close.

“I love you, Mrs. Zaccadelli.”

“I love you, Mr. Zaccadelli.”

“No one is going to criticize your name,” I said to Lucky Taylor Zaccadelli, my son.

“They wouldn’t dare,” Hunter said as he held Lucy Seven Zaccadelli.

Lucky opened his eyes and looked up at me.

“Hey, little man. Welcome to the world.”

I had never been so exhausted or so happy in my life. I’d gone into labor early, but had been able to deliver both babies without a C-section. They were a little small, but not dangerously so, and they were both healthy. A complete miracle after Hunter and I had been doing so much worrying for so many months.

“Switch?” Hunter said and I passed him Lucky as he gave me Lucy. She looked so much like Hunter and Lucky was definitely more me. I hoped they got the best of both parts of us.

Lucy yawned and it was so cute I started to cry. I had the feeling I was going to be doing a lot of crying now that they were here.

Hunter scooted onto the bed next to me and I looked down at our two little spawns.

“Now would probably be a bad time to ask how many children you think we should have.” I turned to give him a withering look, but he just winked.

“Kidding, Missy. Kidding. I’m happy as we are right now. With these two.”

He softly kissed Lucy’s head and that made me tear up again.

“Stop making me cry, dammit,” I said, reaching for another tissue.

“I can’t make any promises. But I’ll do my best, Mrs. Zaccadelli.” It was official now. A week after we’d had our ceremony at Norumbega, we’d gotten a marriage license and then signed the paperwork at the courthouse with Mase and Darah as witnesses. Quick and easy.

“Can we come in?” Darah said, knocking softly at the door and poking her head in.

“Yeah, come on,” I said, smiling. She and Mase came in with balloons and two little teddy bears from the gift shop.

“Oh, they’re just as cute as they were an hour ago. Maybe cuter,” Darah said. Our friends and family had been coming and going all day. This had been one of the first times Hunter and I had been alone.

“Can I?” Darah asked after washing her hands, her enormous engagement ring sparkling as she dried them off.

“Of course,” I said, passing Lucy to her as Hunter handed off Lucky.

“So, what do you think, Dare? You want a pair of these someday?” Mase said.

“Someday, John. Not right now.” She and Mase would be moving into their apartment in Portland next week. We were going to have a going away party for them when I got home from the hospital with the babies and I was already feeling their absence like a dull ache.

We were still going to see them all the time, but it wasn’t the same. Renee and Paul were staying, as well as Jos and Dusty, who were moving upstairs into the room Dara and Mase had vacated.

Hunter and I had talked about renting out the basement and Jos’ friend Hannah had expressed interest, but hadn’t committed yet.

Renee, Jos, Dusty and Paul showed up a few minutes later, along with Hope and John. We weren’t supposed to have so many people in the room at once, but I didn’t care. I’d rather have the room too full than have it empty.

Mom and Tawny couldn’t squeeze their way through, so most of our friends said they were going to get something to eat and they’d be back to see us tomorrow.

“So, I’m thinking that I don’t want to be called Grandma,” Mom said, rocking Lucy as Lucky slept in Hunter’s arms. The nurses said we could put them down, but we didn’t want to.

“Okay, what do you want to be called?” I asked, reaching for a cup of water.

“I was thinking Gigi. It sounds much nicer and doesn’t make me feel old.” I laughed.

“Okay, if that’s what you want to be called, I’ll do my best. But I can’t promise anything. The two of them might come up with something that you don’t really like, and you’re gonna be stuck with it.” She just smiled down at Lucy.

“Doesn’t matter.” Oh, she was smitten. It was hard not to be. Hunter and I made adorable babies, and I wasn’t being biased. I would fight anyone who said they weren’t the cutest babies on the planet. As soon as I could move from this hospital bed.

I’d come to terms with not going back to school next semester and now that the babies were here, I couldn’t imagine wanting to leave them to even go to the bathroom, let alone for the whole day. Hunter still had to get his Master’s and then do his student teaching, so the two of us had a while to go yet before we’d be settled in careers. Things were in flux. Life was busy and chaotic and unexpected.

As if to illustrate my point, Lucky let out a noise somewhere in the region of his diaper and Hunter made a face.

“I grew them, you change them,” I said, but he was already heading over to

the little changing station. Lucky certainly didn’t like having Dad messing with his clothes.

Mom shook her head and handed Lucy back to me to go help Hunter.

“Men, you are so completely helpless sometimes,” she said and helped Hunter get the finicky and screaming Lucky out of his dirty diaper and into a clean one.

“Oh, buddy, it’s okay,” Hunter said, gently bouncing Lucky until he quieted.

“Not bad, Dad,” I said, giving him a thumbs up.

“How can something so small be so terrifying?” he said.

“Because you’re responsible for them,” Mom said.

“Oh, right, that,” I said. “You mean we have to actually feed and take care of them? They won’t just do it themselves?” Mom gave me a look.

“Hey, I just pushed out two humans. I’m allowed my sarcasm.”

Lucy made a little noise as if to agree with me.

“See?” “Oh, just you wait,” Mom said with a smirk on her face. “Just you wait.”

There is one person that, above all, I have to thank for this book. That is Magan Vernon. When I was stuck, when I was worried that I was going to be able to even write this book, you were there. You inspired me, you helped me and this story wouldn’t be what it is without your input. It is undoubtedly a better book because of you. Seriously. I heart you, Twitter Wife.

Additional thanks go to my always patient editor, who was up 20 hours straight working with me on this, as well as Naarah Scheffler, who has been such a huge fan of Hunter and Taylor since the very beginning and who helped with her excellent eyes and knowledge of these characters.

Thank you to my formatter (who is a saint), my publicist who was like WHEN ARE WE DOING THIS, and all the people in my sCAMmers group on FB for being so excited and so supportive.

WAYYYYYYY back in 2012, when I first met Hunter and Taylor, I had always envisioned a second book. Always. I have had this story simmering in my head for nearly four years and it is FINALLY out of my head and onto the page. I couldn’t have done this without all of the people asking me “are Hunter and Taylor getting another book?!”. I thought that maybe after a few years the requests would die down because I didn’t think I was in a place to write this book. But then… there they were. Asking me. Begging me. Glaring at me to finish their story. I cried twice while writing this book. It was like seeing my babies all grown up. Hunter and Taylor have lived in my brain for so long. I don’t think they’ll ever leave and I don’t want them to. I’m just so glad I could continue their story and bring it to the place I always wanted it to be. Thank you

for sticking with them and for wanting this story. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Thank you.

Chelsea M. Cameron is a YA/NA and Adult New York Times/USA Today Best Selling author from Maine. Lover of things random and ridiculous, Jane Austen/Charlotte and Emily Bronte Fangirl, red velvet cake enthusiast, obsessive tea drinker, vegetarian, former cheerleader and world's worst video gamer.

When not writing, she enjoys watching infomercials, singing in the car and tweeting. She has a degree in journalism from the University of Maine, Orono that she promptly abandoned to write about the people in her own head. More often than not, these people turn out to be just as weird as she is.