Introduction

If you have just been released from jail or prison, congratulations! I mean it, congratulations. You are at a crossroads, one of many that happens in life. For centuries, the importance of crossroads has been noted in the lore and legends of goddesses, such as the Greek Hecate. Crossroads, whether real or symbolic, mark a time of possibility, a place that exists between the worlds. You are now at a point in your life where you are at a crossroads, no longer an inmate, but not yet free. The choices you make over the length of your parole/probation will determine if you increase your freedom or if you go back to your “three hots and a cot.” Make no mistake, you do have a choice in the matter.

It was many years ago when I first knew that I was Pagan. When I was in prison, I renewed my spirituality. But it was during the time I spent on parole that I started to really put in the work. I found a group on Meetup.com and started to attend classes. I never missed one. In just over a year, I was initiated. A few years later, around the time I started taking a course into the prison system, I got my second-degree initiation. Then a few years after that, I became a high priestess. None of this would have happened if I had sat idly by and waited for the gods to come knock on my door. I had to seek them out. Once I did, I found that they were not difficult to find. They simply wanted me to show them what I was

willing to put into my spiritual path, then boom, they were as easy to find as a leaf on the ground in autumn.

Do not interpret this to mean that once you walk a path that feeds your spirit your life will be an easy one. What I have found is that the support I get from the gods provides me with the ability to constantly step through challenges. Each of these challenges became like a rung on a ladder, helping me climb higher and higher. There is an ability to thrive despite hardships that comes from living a life full of said hardships. What often becomes the biggest challenge to those on parole is not the adversity that is faced but the failure to believe that a better future awaits. If you choose to walk forward, despite fear, reservations, and the comfort of the familiar, you will be amazed by what you can achieve.

As you read the following chapters, know that it is wisdom gained from personal experience that is being imparted. I did something different when I got out of prison. I did whatever I needed to do to not go back. That meant changing many things. Most things. Everything. But the freedom I now possess is greater than anything that I ever hoped to have when I was out running the streets and “doing the most.” Some of what you read in here will be things you do not want to hear or maybe are just not ready to hear. The discomfort of these parts is necessary. Change does not happen in the comfort zone. If you want to change, there is going to be some discomfort. The more willing you are to accept this, the less difficult the process can be.

It is not my goal to force you, kicking and screaming, into change. If we are being honest, you know the road that takes you back to prison; You know it quite well. What you likely do not know is the path that leads to life, to truly living. You may not feel worthy of this second option, or you may feel like it is not something you can acquire, but these ideas are incorrect. If you can say

to yourself “Maybe, just maybe, there is something better in store for me than being locked up,” then I encourage you to take the next steps. This book is not the end-all-be-all of things you need to know. But it is full of magical ideas that kept me from being a recidivism statistic. If they worked for me, they could work for you too.

One of the most beautiful things I learned as I went through all the hoops that parole requires was how to integrate my spiritual practice in my everyday life. I am not only a priestess on Saturdays or when ritual is happening. Instead, I strive to live my life in a way that honors the gods. Walking my spiritual path, as opposed to just focusing on the surface, is what has allowed me to go from a drug addict with felonies to a college graduate, author, energy healer, and a kind and compassionate—though far from perfect—human being.

This book, Paganism on Parole, is the follow-up to Paganism for Prisoners: Connecting to the Magic Within. As such, I have gone to great lengths to present different information whenever possible. The core foundations of change though will inevitably have some overlap. That’s okay. If you are anything like me, you sometimes need to hear things more than once before they set in. Be patient with yourself, even if you do not learn everything all at once. Really, in the simplest way, all you must do is just try to be a little better than you were yesterday and forgive yourself when you are not.

Remember, for now, that you are almost free. Almost free. Not yet. It is much harder to earn your freedom when you have a taste of it than when you have no taste of it at all. It is easier to do the things you are supposed to when there are guards and surveillance cameras to force you into accountability. Soon, if not already, you will not have these things. So, you must be accountable to yourself, honest with yourself, and true to yourself. This is where your power lies, not in any spell nor tool, but in the awareness of self that you gain

by walking a path with the gods. It is the freedom found here that can never be stripped away, unless you let it.

However, power comes with great responsibility. Having the power to make decisions does not free you from the consequences of those decisions. In fact, I have found that power means I have greater accountability for my actions. I no longer get the luxury of using “I didn’t know” as an excuse. I do know better. At first the awareness that you know better may fill you with anxiety. Most of you reading this will have experiences in your past that are neither comfortable nor pretty. You’re not alone. For now, wake up each morning, take a deep breath, and know that the gods, in any of their many forms, are with you. They will let you make mistakes to learn lessons, but they will also bestow guidance and wisdom for those who seek it.

Go forward!