When It Isn’t Working: Dealing with Issues

Who will we worship?

Witchcraft is a nature-based religion that encompasses a wide range of belief systems. Most witches worship both the God and the Goddess, although a few only follow the Goddess. Some call on specific deities while others take a more general approach; some may simply refer to the universe. None of this matters when a witch is solitary, but when multiple Pagans come together in a group, you may need to make some compromises to make sure that everyone involved is comfortable with the way the group relates to and refers to deity. In Blue Moon Circle’s practice, we usually call on both the God and the Goddess during sabbat rituals, sometimes in a general “we invoke the God and Goddess” format and sometimes invoking specific deities who are associated with that particular sabbat, such as Brigid at Imbolc.

On full moons we only call on the Goddess or specific goddesses. We are primarily Goddess-oriented and have enjoyed exploring the aspects of various goddesses to expand our knowledge beyond those who we might call on when practicing on our own. This will vary from coven to coven and possibly from ritual to ritual if you take turns leading. Just be careful to be aware of and respect the individual approaches and desires of those involved, if necessary finding some middle ground.

When It Isn’t Working

—dealing with issues— Having been a part of two different covens and seeing what has happened in numerous others, I can tell you with some certainty that if you practice together with more than one other person (and possibly even then), you will eventually have issues. They may be minor or they may be large enough to cause the coven to disband, but either way, you should be prepared to deal with them when they come up.

My best advice to you here is to make sure that you have open communication within your group and that everyone feels free to speak up if something is bothering them. Even Blue Moon Circle has had occasional

bumps in the road over our long years practicing together, and every single time they could have been prevented by better communication. Thankfully, we’ve gotten better at this over time.

If you are leading a coven, be sure that you are open to suggestions and concerns, and try to pay attention to hints that any of your members might be unhappy. Many times people don’t feel comfortable speaking up, but if you ask, “Hey, is something bothering you?” you might discover they have been sitting on an issue you could have resolved long ago if only you’d known about it. Yes, this is the voice of experience.

If you are part of a coven, remember that no one can fix a problem if they don’t know what it is. If you are unhappy about something—whether it is how the coven is being run, aspects of the ritual practice, or the fact that Sue always brings that horrible tuna casserole to every feast—you need to be open about the issue and allow your fellow coven members to search for a solution that works for everyone.

If you can’t trust them to accept your input, as long as you are nice about it, you are probably in the wrong coven. Interpersonal problems are probably the biggest cause of covens imploding and falling apart. I have known of covens that were led by a couple, and when the couple split, some members went with one person and the rest with the other. I’ve also seen a situation where a high priestess got a new boyfriend and brought him into the coven. When he didn’t get along with several members, they were tossed out to keep him happy.

Nobody said witches were perfect. We’re all human beings. If there are members of the coven who don’t get along, you can try discussing why that is. Sometimes someone simply isn’t a good fit for a group or causes problems with everyone, in which case it is up to the group leader to ask them to leave. This is always a tough situation, although in my experience, most of the time these people aren’t happy in the coven either and simply stop attending. But this is one of the reasons why it pays to be cautious about adding new members if you don’t know them well, and making sure you establish clear communication from the very beginning.