Living the life of a Realtor

So, there I was, flailing on my back in twoplus feet of snow, making like a beached whale, hoping like crazy no one would come along and see me flop around while trying to get back on my feet.

It was late February, and I had been attempting to cross a highway ditch to place a for sale sign on the fence some pastureland up for tender, when suddenly the hard-packed crust of the snow gave away under my right leg tipping me straight over sideways.

Frankly, I don’t know what hurt worst, my pride, or my knee, but after finally getting vertically reoriented, I finally made it to the property line and completed the task at hand.

Retracing my steps back to the truck was much easier but I am sure anybody going by later in the day would wonder what happened at the site as the evidence looked very much like a deer had been hit off the roadway.

Such is the experience of a real estate agent, especially in the country!

I anticipated none of this “glory” when I entered the industry 25 ago. Boy, was I naive.

Over 4,000 and some properties represented later, even though you think you have seen it all, daily work life can still hold some surprises

A pile of dead hogs left uncovered and rotting behind a barn in the summer sun.

Large, growling dogs who can look in your car window at eye level daring someone to step out before their owner gets control.

Little dogs dart in to bite your ankle when entering their home, then disappear into the basement.

Cat excrement was mopped out to the base- boards of all the rooms on the main level of what was once a nicely remodelled home in an effort by the owner to prepare for my visit.

Dead mice on the family room carpet. Several inches of grey water on the basement floor. Raccoons in the crawl space. An expired rat in the insulation of an electric stove.

Underground storage tanks with lids removed are located next to an actively-used commercial building.

Diamond harrows were purposefully placed upside down in the long grass of an overgrown driveway by an absentee owner angry with the unauthorized intrusions of people looking to explore his vacant acreage, but forgetting to tell me, the Realtor asked to list his property, of their presence.

Good thing I discovered them when walking around the yard, and not driving.

Dirty underwear was left on the hallway floor between the bathroom and bedroom.

Surface disposal of a household sewer less than 20’ from a bored well. No wonder the tenant said they couldn’t drink the water.

Recently abandoned properties with drug paraphernalia, graffiti on the inside walls, and literally truckloads of garbage left behind.

Houses used for marijuana grow operations that need to be totally stripped to the studs because of the damage caused by high humidity.

Tenants who strive to discourage showings by loudly proclaiming all that is wrong with the property to me and potential buyers as soon as we walk in the door.

Being scheduled to provide an opinion of value on a property in mid-afternoon only to be greeted at the door by a mature matron dressed in a very short bathrobe and smelling of whisky.

I quickly excused myself stating I would come back when it was a more convenient time. I never did.

As one of my mentors in the business used to say: “Don’t need them all, don’t want them all!”

Vern McClelland is an associate broker with RE/MAX of Lloydminster and an active partner in his family’s livestock operation. Comments on this article are welcome either by emailing vernmcclelland@ remax.net or calling 306-821-0611.