Local Answer Ingleby 122

Page 1

Answer

Local Ingleby Barwick Edition Issue 122 | July 2020

MAKING EXCELLENCE A HABIT

ROOFING & BUILDING

COMPLETE ROOFING AND BUILDING SPECIALISTS Family Run Business - Since 1976

FREE Estimates - All Work Guaranteed Insurance Backed Guarantees

ROOFING and BUILDING STORE NOW OPEN

01642 473676 / 01287 623048

Email: info.aaaroofing@gmail.com Web: www.aaaroofing.co.uk

VEHICLE RECOVERY 24 HOURS - 7 DAYS A WEEK

SEE M&M RECOVERY ON PAGE 3

Tel 01642 296513 local-answer.co.uk Carefully distributed by Famous Flyers


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

33

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M&M

RECOVERY

24 HOURS - 7 DAYS A WEEK

• MOT Failures bought for cash • Light Haulage • We will beat any genuine quotes

Tel:

07703 526466

G L S ELECTRICAL SERVICES LTD ALL ELECTRICAL WORK UNDERTAKEN

• Electrical Testing and Inspection • Alarm Engineering • Landlord Safety Certificates • Electrician Services • Rewiring • PAT Testing • Commercial Contact DEREK on 01642 882859 or mobile 07867 947651

www.glselectricalservicesltd.co.uk

25% DISCOUNT

ON ALL HIGH SECURITY INTERNALLY GLAZED WINDOWS With Argon Filled Energy Efficient Units NO JOB TOO SMALL Choice of 20 Designs

UPVC DOORS fitted from

£475

COMPOSITE DOORS

fitted from

Choice of 20 Designs Choice of Colours

£695

BOWS fitted from

£595

FRENCH DOORS fitted from

£695

All doors come fully reinforced with anti-drill and anti-snap security locks

ALL SEASONS WINDOWS Local Family Business - Established 1993

FOR A FREE NO OBLIGATION VISIT CALL 01642 613600 OR FREEPHONE 0800 1699276 Visit our website at: aswindows.co.uk Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 3


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

MWC

Garden Services

• Professional Lawn Cutting • Hedge Trimming • Borders maintained • Landscaping • Tur�ing • Tidy-Ups

Regain your independence with a Stairlift from the experts at ‘The Lift Guys’

Please call Martyn on 07983 519196 or email mwcservices@hotmail.co.uk

FREE QUOTES • VERY COMPETITIVE PRICES e-mail:windowwizard.ne@btinternet.com www.windowwizard-ne.co.uk

Tel: 01642 450397 Mob: 07796 200130

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Unit 13, Metcalfe Road Skippers Lane Industrial Estate Middlesbrough TS6 6PT

s staller ers & In PLACED r u t c a nuf ITS RE ZED UN ies Ma rvator H DOUBLE GLA I-FOLD DOORS e s n o G HB C ors & ITS & GUTTERIN PVC REPAIRS EE QUOTES -OUT ws, Do FF H FR ALL H ALL U Windo H FASCIAS, SO H FREE C

w o d n i W

For all your mobility needs, give us a call on

01642 040608 or email: service@theliftguys.co.uk

Welham Bedrooms Also Bathrooms, Kitchens and Studies

From contemporary to the classical, our Bedroom furniture can fit the style of any room Maximise your wardrobe space with our built in furniture, and because all our units are bespoke, we can build them to fit into the most awkward of spaces. We can create ideal storage solutions with internal shelving and hanging rails fitted to suit your requirements. With matching accessories, bedside units, Headboards and Mirrors, we have everything you need to create your dream room. Redc

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Call in to our showroom (by appointment only) or visit our website for further details

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM: Just off the A174 between Redcar & Marske, Longbeck Trading Estate, Marske TS11 6HB By appointment only: Monday-Thursday 8-5, Friday 8-4, Saturday 10-2

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OFFERS AVAILABLE ON BEDROOMS, KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

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www.welhamkitchens.co.uk

01642 491257

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DAMP CONDENSATION AND TIMBER SPECIALIST • Rising Damp • Penetrating Damp • Condensation • Wet/Dry Rot ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED

Call now to book your FREE no-obligation survey and quote

01642 475798 www.dampcured.co.uk

Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 5


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years THE EYE MAGAZINE

POLARIS B L I N D S E V A S s £££'

Buy direct from the manufacturer

CONSERVATORY ROOF BLINDS All Blinds are manufactured in-house, including Perfect Fit International (no screws), ensuring the highest possible quality. All our blinds and workmanship are fully guaranteed for your peace of mind.

PREMIUM BLINDS

We can satisfy customer needs whatever your requirements. We have a superb choice of "high end" (but not overpriced) premium blinds and shutters. We pride ourselves on providing quality and value for money.

YOU’LL LOVE • FREE Home Visits OUR SHUTTERS • FREE Measuring You’ll love how • FREE No Obligation Quotes easy and affordable choosing from our • FREE Fitting • FREE Child Safety Features range is.

SHUTTERS • VERTICALS • VENETIAN • ROLLER • PLEATED

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM...

Polaris Blinds welcome you to visit our Liverton Mines factory to discuss and view our extensive selection of blinds and shutters, budget or premium. Call us today for an appointment.

ALL AREAS COVERED - PLEASE CALL KEVIN WHEATLEY ON:

01287 641729 / 07715 138140 Unit 11, North Liverton Industrial Estate, Lantsbery Drive, Liverton Mines TS13 4QZ

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DIRTY OVEN? DIRTY JOB! Why do it yourself?

• We will remove grease, fat and burnt on carbon deposits • Minor repairs such as bulbs • Non caustic cleaning products will be used, giving you a clean oven, free from nasty residues which could taint your food. • Bringing your oven back to showroom condition • Ovens • Cookers • Hobs • Extractors • Microwaves • Barbecues/Agas • Ranges Call for further details

ALL AREAS COVERED

SLINGSBY INTERIORS Bathroom Studio & Heating Specialists

EX-DISPLAY OFFERS Many ex-display offers available in our showroom

No reasonable offer refused WE OFFER FREE, NO OBLIGATION QUOTATIONS PEIRSON STREET, REDCAR TS10 1SW

Showroom (by appointment only): Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-1pm AMPLE FREE PARKING

Tel: 01642 488818 www.slingsbyinteriors.co.uk

Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 7


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

SC Henderson & Son Ltd Plumbing, Central Heating Servicing, Joinery, Tiling, Kitchens and Building Maintenance

Specialists in Bathrooms, Kitchens, Cloakrooms Disabled Walk-In Showers and Wet Rooms

Boiler & Heating Installation, Renewals & Repairs

Landlord safety checks Up to 12 years manufacturer’s warranty included

• • • • • • • • •

Full Building Maintenance Plumbing Heating Installation & Repairs Servicing & Landlord Gas Safety Reports / Certification Tiling Joinery Electrical Works Gas Works

21a Howe Street, Middlesbrough TS1 4LD

Tel: 01642 210781 Mob: 07850 824466 Web: schendersonandson-middlesbrough.co.uk Email: schenderson_son@hotmail.com

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Celebratin g

41 Years of AEP

LPG Gas & Oil

AEP - YOUR ELECTRICAL EXPERTS Our Experienced and NICEIC Accredited Electricians will ensure you are fully compliant with current standards & regulations VISIT OUR RETAIL SHOP at Kirkleatham Business Park for all your Electrical, Lighting, Plumbing & Drainage needs

Call us today to book a FREE technical survey

01642 485040

aep@aep-ne.com | www.aep-ne.com 8b Arlon Court, Kirkleatham Business Park, Redcar TS10 5RS PAGE 10 | Please mention ‘The Local Answer Ingleby Barwick’ when calling advertisers


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10% OFF

for SENIOR CITIZENS

S&S

Windows and Doors A Family Run Local Business

PROFESSIONAL SERVICE AT LOW PRICES

• Composite doors • A rated windows • •

and doors Full double glazing repair service Misted glass units replaced

• Locks, handles, • • •

hinges Conservatory roofs repaired Facias, soffits and guttering Roofing repairs

IS YOUR CONSERVATORY LEAKING? CALL US FOR A QUOTE TO REPAIR ALWAYS USE A LOCAL COMPANY CONTACT US TO GET A NON OBLIGATION QUOTE

Tel: 0800 0935389 / 01642 880413 www.sandswindowsanddoors.co.uk

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Sudoku

Test Your Knowledge LOCAL ANSWER TELEVISION QUIZ Seven or more correct answers is great and means you know your stuff! Good luck!

?

1. Who hosted a crazy Saturday night house party ? 2. Which programme did David Jason and Pam Ferris star in ? 3. In which country was Eldorado set ? 4. What was the registration number of Lady Penelope’s pink Rolls Royce ? 5. Who was associated with the catchphrase “get down Shep” ? 6. What pre-school programme was the first programme to air on BBC2 ? 7. Which three singers from Rainbow were given their own series ? 8. Which 1970s ecologists had their own tv series? 9. Which comedian had a St Bernard called Schnorbitz ? 10. Who created the Spitting Image puppets ? (answers on page 29) PAGE 12 | Please mention ‘The Local Answer Ingleby Barwick’ when calling advertisers


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Birkbecks Electrical your local Kitchen Appliance Store

we deliver we install we care WE ARE NOW OPEN AGAIN and adhering to all Government guidelines

BEKO

INDESIT

• A+++ rated • 30 minute quick wash

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6kg 1200 spin Washing Machine

Under Counter Freezer

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55cm wide Silver A+ rated 3 drawers 102 litre capacity

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- Family Run For Local People -

* Prices must be quoted at time of sale

17 WEST DYKE ROAD, REDCAR Tel: 01642 484103 www.birkbeckselectrical.co.uk • birkbecks@hotmail.co.uk FREE Delivery within a 10 mile radius - Sunday delivery available

• BOSCH • ZANUSSI • HOOVER • CANDY • HOTPOINT • INDESIT • BLOMBERG • LEC • BELLING • AMICA • BEKO • PANASONIC • TOSHIBA • SEBA • STOVES • NEWWORLD • BAUMATIC • LG • LINSAR • ELECTROLUX • IBERNA www.wsplastics.com

Family Run Business

W.S. Plastics Ltd

Bathroom/Kitchen design & installation

“We are open for business as usual and are following all safety precautions to keep our customers and staff safe” • Full bathroom refurbishment service from start to finish, including any plumbing, plastering and building work • All work organised for you with a large selection of fittings to choose from EST. 16 • Highly skilled team of dedicated fitters • Friendly and helpful showroom staff Showroom: 01642 271541 YEARS

Walker Street

WE ARE

OPEN: Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Queen Street

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for all your bathroom needs Sat 9.30am-3pm, Sun CLOSED

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VISIT OUR SHOWROOM

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(Bus Lane)

2 West Terrace, Redcar (Between The Redcar Beacon & The Town Clock) Email: wsplastics.showroom@gmail.com

Redcar Beacon

High Street (Pedestrian Zone)

Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 13


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

In The Garden

J

uly is the month where a little bit of everything in the plant world is either on its way out (yellowy straggly leaves from spring bulbs and Violas), in full flower looking at its peak (Roses, Lavender & Honeysuckle), or on its way in (Dahlias, Chrysanthemums, maturing fruits). To keep on top of the garden tasks and have time to relax and enjoy your special spot of paradise try and do the following:-

In The Garden Regularly deadhead roses, summer bedding plants and hanging basket plants. This will keep them looking at their best and promote more flowers. Tie in and support any plants that are leaning over towards the sun or weighed

down by rainwater. These can include sedums, sunflowers, dahlias, rambling and climbing roses. Watering too much as well as watering too little can be just as damaging so ensure your plants are getting the right amount. If you have homemade compost that is ready to use, mulch plants after watering to hold in moisture. This also acts as a weed suppressor. Make your own quick organic nettle plant tonic to give plants a dose of nitrogen which promotes healthy leafy growth. Chop nettles, place in bucket with pebbles to keep nettles from floating, fill with water, leave for 3/4 weeks and use diluted one part concentrate to ten parts water. The

u BLOCK PAVING u GRAVELLING u RESIN BOND/BOUND u RAISED FLOWER BEDS u ROCKERIES u RETAINING WALLS u FENCING u ASTROTURF FREE

Estimates & Advice

All Work Fully Insured & Guaranteed

Office: 01642 924044 Directline: 07733 205270

www.riversidelandscapingltd.com Queens Court, 73 Gilkes Street, Middlesbrough

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No Job Too Big Or Too Small


See Page 30 for our Index of Advertisers mixture gets a bit smelly so don’t put it too near the house! Chop the leaves of nettles and put them onto the compost heap to give it a nitrogen rich boost. Hoe around vegetable plants to keep weeds down before they become bigger than the plant and take all the nutrients.

The Lawn New lawns need to be watered if the weather is dry as they need to establish in the first year. Older lawns will benefit from a summer feed to keep them looking at their best. A general all round feed is best but if you have to treat for moss or weed then use a combined feed and killer. Unfortunately weedkiller kills wildflowers too so if you want daisies in your lawn, think again! Add small amounts of lawn clippings to the compost heap and use to mulch around plants in very dry weather to help with moisture loss.

The Greenhouse Tomatoes, cucumbers, melons and aubergines all need to be fed with a high potash solution at weekly/fortnightly intervals and the soil kept moist but not sodden at all times. Temperatures rocket in the greenhouse during July so many gardeners use a white shading paint on the glass that gets the most sun and this is easily wiped off in the autumn. Damping down is needed in the greenhouse on most hot days to keep humidity levels up. When you have finished watering the plants walk backwards towards the door and douse down the floor with the hose or watering can. Remove side shoots of tomato plants above leaf axils to encourage taller stronger plant growth. Cuttings of hydrangeas, cotoneasters, fuchsias and pelargoniums can be taken in July as the warmer weather will encourage vigorous root growth and give new plants a good head start before winter.

S O B N I G

LANDSCAPES DRIVEWAY & PATIO SPECIALIST

 Driveways FROM DESIGN TO  Patios REALITY  Decking  Turfing  Specialist in Artificial Turf  Full Garden Landscapes  General Maintenance

“WE WON’T BE BEATEN ON QUALITY!”

“GIBSON LANDSCAPES ARE A MARSHALLS APPROVED LANDSCAPE CONTRACTOR AND DRIVEWAY INSTALLER”

For FREE Advice, Quotation and Professional Service call

Ingleby Barwick:

01642 659945

Mobile: 07756 670212

www.gibsonlandscapes.co.uk

Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 15


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Welha

Also Bedrooms, Ba Our Bespoke Kitchens are

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Cleveland Up & Over Door Co. Ltd

EST. 1973

Family Run Business with over 35 years experience.

SAME DAY REPAIR SERVICE WHEN AVAILABLE

FULL RANGE OF SPARE PARTS FOR MOST MAKES OF GARAGE DOORS

Customer Satisfaction Is Our Recommendation Electrically Operated Roller Doors & Up & Over Doors

RESIDENTIAL ROLLER DOORS AND WINDOW SHUTTERS

Manufacturers of

HUGE savings on all garage doors Before you buy give us a try! We won’t be beaten on price! Huge Stocks With Many Styles To Choose From! For a FREE SURVEY and no-obligation quote call us on

AA ASSOCIATES

M’bro 01642 440920 Redcar 01642 487699 Freephone 0808 108 5218 website: www.clevelandupover.co.uk

Visit our showroom at 7 Metcalfe Road, Skippers Lane Ind. Est. Middlesbrough.

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am Kitchens

athrooms and Studies e created especially for you

nvestment of your bespoke Kitchen is to your home and that chens are created especially for you, whether it’s Traditional designs and colours to suit all tastes and budgets. We listen o the final design. Our friendly staff will help to take the stress elpful advice on colour schemes, styles and finishing touches.

DISHWASHER on kitchen orders placed over £5,000

ly while stocks last. See our website for further details

ween Redcar & Marske, Longbeck Trading Estate, Marske TS11 6HB -Thursday 8-5, Friday 8-4, Saturday 10-2

hens.co.uk 01642 491257 R O * O F R E P A I R S

ROOFING Y T I L A U Q

R * O O F

Ridge Tiles • Chimney Stacks Gable Ends • Slating • Tiling • Gutters Fascias • Soffits • Garage Roofs • Bay Tops ‘LOCAL FAMILY RUN BUSINESS’ Over 35 Years Experience FREE ESTIMATES PROMPT ATTENTION

RING JOHN

01642 603160 / 07710 318954 “Trust Assured”

www.roofersinteesside.com

R E P A I R S

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Healthy Eating VEGETARIAN BAKED POTATO

P

otatoes are one of the best sources of starch, vitamins, minerals and dietary fibre. 100g provides 70 calories. They have hardly any fat (just 0.1g per 100g) and no cholesterol; they are also high in fibre so good for conditions such as constipation (you must eat the skin as well). The usual fillings for baked potatoes are butter, cheese, tuna mayonnaise etc which increase the fat content and make them less healthy. This recipe contains peppers, onions, garlic and tomatoes, which are all low in fat and full of nutrients. Olive oil is used instead of then. When they are soft, turn the heat up butter or margarine as it contains vitamins a bit and cook till slightly browned. Add and can help lower cholesterol. tomatoes and paprika and cook for another Recipe (serves 2) 5 minutes. Add balsamic vinegar, salt and 2 good sized baking potatoes, 1 red and one pepper and stir. At this point you can add green pepper, thinly sliced, 1 large onion ingredients such as kidney beans etc to give thinly sliced, 2 cloves of garlic chopped, 2 to extra protein and fibre. tablespoons of tinned tomatoes, 1 teaspoon Take the potatoes out of the oven. Cut in paprika, 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar, 1 half and mash the middle a little bit, drizzle tablespoon olive oil in a dessertspoon of olive oil and sprinkle Microwave the potatoes for 8 minutes. over a bit of salt. Add the topping (you can Rub olive oil over them and put in oven on sprinkle on some chopped fresh parsley if gas mark 7 for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, fry you like and top with a spoonful of plain the peppers, onion and garlic in a pan on Greek yogurt) and serve with salad. medium heat for a few minutes. Put the lid on and let them cook, stirring now and

‘Healthy Eating’ courtesy of Sue Lorrimer.

WEB WATCH

Check out these websites to help you find a local business to suit your needs... www.lakes-service-centre.co.uk (Car Servicing, MOT’s & Repairs) www.roofixltd.co.uk (Industrial & Domestic Roofing Contractors) www.teessidephysio.co.uk (Clinical Pilates & Specialist Massage) www.slingsbyinteriors.co.uk (Bathroom & Heating Specialists) www.caketoppersredcar.co.uk (Celebration & Wedding Cakes) www.acookroofing.co.uk (Roofing & Building)

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Welham Bathrooms Also Kitchens, Bedrooms and Studies

Your Bathroom is a place to unwind, relax and have a bit of me time

Here at Welham’s we can create the perfect space to help you do just that. Is it traditional style or the super sleek glam look you are interested in? Whatever your taste, we can create that ideal room. We manufacture all units in our factory in Marske, to your specifications. All bathroom suites and showers come from well established suppliers such as Kudos, Mira, Vitra, Bristan and many more. We also add those finishing touches such as Karndean flooring, tiling, multi panel, laminate ceiling and, not forgetting, lighting.

OFFERS AVAILABLE ON BATHROOMS, BEDROOMS & KITCHENS Redc

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ONLINE...

LOCAL NEWS and SPORT

LOCAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

www.localgasman.co.uk Free Estimates No Call-Out Charge All Plumbing New Boilers New Central Heating Gas Safety Reports Power Flushing Gas Cookers Gas Fires Boilers/Fires Serviced & Repaired H Senior Citizens 10% Discount H H H H H H H H H H

LATEST CONDENSING BOILERS (with up to 12 YEAR GUARANTEE WITH MAGNETIC FILTER)

All editions of the

are available to view online at:

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Est 1985

MICRO CLEAN

Fo r

CLEANER CARPETS

• Outstanding First Time Results • Fully Trained Operators • Professional, Reliable Service • Free Quotes • No Hidden Charges • Latest Technology

We use the latest Powerflite deep cleaning equipment, ensuring outstanding results first time... every time. The amazing performance of this machine enables us to remove even the most stubborn of stains and leave you with the fresh new look that you want, extending the life of your carpet into the bargain. We are happy to move & replace furniture as required so that you can enjoy a totally stress free experience. Our business has grown on the strength of our reliable, professional and cost effective service.

HOSPITAL GRADE STEAM CLEANER available

JET PRESSURE WASHING & POND

VACUUMING SERVICE

(clear debris & blanket weed)

Tel: 01287 644111 Mobile: 07715 138140 www.micro-clean.co.uk

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US BRUSH STROKES FIND FOLLOW AND LIKE

1st

CLASS DECORATING at Affordable Prices

US ON FACEBOOK

facebook.com/Local.Answer

Interior, Exterior, Commercial & Domestic FREE Estimates OAP Discounts Available

Time Served Decorator with 40 YEARS Experience Call STEVE on:

01642 281547 or 07811 321520

North East Specialists In High Quality Bespoke Wardrobe, Kitchens & Bathrooms From design to installation, Spacemaster offers you a high standard of customer service. Planning designed to suite your lifestyle, budget and space requirements

T: 01642 486024 | M: 07850 861297 www.spacemaster-ne.com

RESIN BOUND DRIVEWAYS WHAT IS RESIN BOUND?

Resin bound is a natural stone resin bound surface that can be laid over tarmac or concrete. It does not involve any long convoluted digging out of foundations and the majority of jobs undertaken are completed in just one day. The finished surface is a beautiful resin set gravel which removes the annoyance of loose chippings and stones Imprint • Ultimate Strength & Durability • Puddle Free & Weed Resistant • Multiple Colour Choices • Fully Project Managed • Instant Kerb Appeal • Fully Guaranteed • Low Maintenance

PATHS

DRIVEWAYS

Concrete Service Available

PATIOS

ProLine-Eco Drives 01642 459521 / 07876 07876 597573

www.proli www.prol ine-ecod ne-ecodrives.co.uk rives.co.uk Visit: local-answer.co.uk for LOCAL NEWS & SPORT | Local Answer - Tel: 01642 296513 - July 2020 | PAGE 23


Supporting local businesses for over 15 years LOCAL ANSWER

Recipe

EASY CHOCOLATE CAKE Homemade chocolate cake is one of the nicest cakes you can make. In this cake all you have is butter, sugar, eggs, flour, cocoa powder and melted dark chocolate.

EQUIPMENT - Two 8-inch/20cm, loose-bottomed if possible, cake tins. Grease each tin with butter on the bottom and sides then add a little flour, tapping it around so it covers all the butter. This stops the cake from sticking. - Electric mixer - Wire rack

INGREDIENTS For the cake:

225g/8oz butter 225g/8oz caster sugar 4 eggs 200g/7oz self-raising flour 25g/1oz cocoa powder 100g dark chocolate (70%), melted For the buttercream: 175g/6oz butter, softened 340g/12oz icing sugar 1 tablespoon cocoa powder 100g dark chocolate (70%), melted A splash of milk Maltesers

METHOD Pre-heat your oven to 160°C fan. Using an electric mixer combine

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the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the four eggs along with a spoonful of the flour/cocoa powder (to stop the mixture from splitting). Mix. Add the rest of the flour/cocoa powder and mix well. Melt the dark chocolate then pour into the cake batter while the mixer is still going round. Once thoroughly combined, divide equally between the two greased cake tins. Place in the oven for 20-25 minutes. Test if cooked through by pressing the sponge lightly. If it springs back it is cooked. You can also test using a metal skewer. If it comes out clean it is cooked. If it isn’t done bake for a few more minutes. Allow to cool in the tin a little then tip out onto a wire rack. To make the buttercream – in the electric mixer combine the soft butter with the icing sugar. Add the cocoa powder and melted chocolate along with a splash of milk. Mix well for a few minutes. Once the sponge has cooled spread the buttercream over one half. Then place the other half on the top. Spread the rest of the buttercream over the top and the sides. Decorate with maltesers if desired.

SLINGSBY INTERIORS Bathroom Studio & Heating Specialists

AFFORDABLE HEATING

• BOILER FINANCE PACKAGES available on our products and services • 12 YEAR WARRANTY on selected Worcester Bosch Boilers OVER 60? Annual Gas Boiler Service for £55 inc vat. (Back Boilers £70 inc vat) &

PEIRSON STREET, REDCAR TS10 1SW Showroom (by appointment only): Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-1pm AMPLE FREE PARKING

Tel: 01642 488818

* For affordable heating, visit: www.slingsbyinteriors.co.uk

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Supporting local businesses for over 15 years

Humour

THE GREAT PHILOSOPHERS OF OUR TIME...

T

he likes of Plato, Socrates and Aristotle have long been hailed as great philosophers, but what exactly is ‘philosophy?’ Well, the concept originated from the Greek word Philosophia, which literally means “love of wisdom” and is considered the study of general and fundamental problems concerning matters like existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language. But do we still have great philosophers? Yes, of course we do, and to prove it we’ve found some wonderful modern examples from the most unlikely sources. We’ve also included some from a time when philosophy was considered an art. If this isn’t philosophy we don’t know what is! In my many years I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government. John Adams. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Winston Churchill. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw.

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton. Giving money & power to government is like giving whiskey & car keys to teenage boys. P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of government. But then, I repeat myself. Mark Twain. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. Ronald Reagan. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain. What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Edward Langley, Artist. A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jefferson. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. Aesop. The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. Joan Rivers. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip.

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The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree. Spike Milligan. Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. Jean Rostand. Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I was just as happy as when I only had 48 million. Arnold Schwarzenegger. We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. WH Auden. If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. Johnny Carson. Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. Steve Martin. Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. Jimmy Durante. The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. George Roberts. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Robert Benchley. As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. John Glenn, Astronaut. America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. David Letterman. I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I’m a billionaire. Howard Hughes. And finally, an Old Italian proverb... After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box!

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Football - The ‘Boro

IT’S IN THE BALANCE...

I

’m writing this after watching the televised horror show that saw Swansea City completely dominate the game and score three goals against us for the third time in a row. Yet thinking back to the Friday night before that game it seemed that the three or four months of lockdown had somehow diminished the threat of imminent relegation, even though it had hung over ‘Boro until the last gasp win at Charlton took us above the bottom three. I think most of us thought there was a strong possibility that the season would end there and we would be saved. Sadly, the complacency that gave us was completely shattered by the performance against Swansea. I have to admit I was one of the many who was dubious when I saw the team selection, though one immediate query was answered when it was announced that Harold Moukoudi was ill and couldn’t play. But leaving Patrick Roberts out of the starting line up was a bit of a shock because in his brief ‘Boro performances to date he had looked head and shoulders above the rest and had at last provided a degree of midfield creativity that we’ve lacked for a long time. Using the excuse that he couldn’t guarantee his fitness

doesn’t really work because nor could anybody else and was made even less convincing when his introduction at half time improved the look of the team. Perhaps the most puzzling feature of team selection, however, involves Ravel Morrison, who - when his loan signing was announced – was supposed to be a man who could bring ‘something different to the team.’ I can’t see how we will ever find out the truth of that statement because it seems no matter how badly the team is performing he is never given the chance to prove it. In which case, why was he signed in the first place? The Daniel Ayala situation hasn’t helped either, and the fact that he was still injured at the time of the Swansea game was an irrelevance because his determination to leave meant he wasn’t going to play anyway. I’m afraid his attitude will now forever stay in the heads of ‘Boro fans and he will join the ranks of former ‘Boro players who the Riverside faithful will never forgive. To be fair, though, many of us were never completely convinced and he was always considered an accident waiting to happen. I refer you back to the horrendous moment at Wembley when he gifted Norwich the lead that ensured they went into the Premiership instead of us as

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three months I find cheerfulness a hard commodity to conjure up. It’s been awful for everybody and the whole coronavirus story has perhaps put a lot of things into perspective. It makes you wonder if football is really relevant in the light of so many lives being lost. To most of us, though, it certainly is important and let’s be honest, when it’s all over we’ll all still go to the Riverside hoping to see good quality football and a winning ‘Boro team. I feel there has to be a lot of improvement in the next three weeks. We certainly need to win at least four games out of the remaining fixtures to guarantee safety but on the strength of the Swansea game it’s difficult to see where they are going to come from. We can only live in hope, but in the meantime continue to live safely so that when that day comes we can once again enjoy the spectacle of live football with real crowds.

Sudoku

a perfect example. I’m afraid he was a bit like the little girl with a curl – when he was good, he was very, very good, but when he was bad he was horrid! So what happens now? At the time of writing we are still marginally outside the bottom three thanks to goal difference. The three conceded against Swansea didn’t do much good in that direction, of course, and now we face an away trip to fellow strugglers Stoke in what can only be considered the definitive ‘six pointer.’ That they have been as inept as us does offer some sort of hope but I’m certainly not banking on a result. Whether it’s a good thing or not, our last seven games after that don’t feature any of the top ten sides so we should at least have some sort of chance. Perform as we did against Swansea, however, and that will also evaporate. At this stage I would normally look for reasons to be cheerful but after the last

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INDEX OF ADVERTISERS Appliance Repairs Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Artificial Turf Lion Lawns . . . . . . . . . . . . . Riverside Landscaping . . . . Bathrooms Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Slingsby Interiors . . . . . . . . . Space Master . . . . . . . . . . . Welham Bathrooms . . . . . . WS Plastics . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bedrooms Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . Welham Bedrooms . . . . . . Blinds Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . Building Services AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Amco Construction . . . . . . . Cleaning Hobsnobs Ovens . . . . . . . . Micro Clean. . . . . . . . . . . . . Conservatories AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Cleaner Cons. . . . . . . . . . . . S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . . Conservatory Cleaning Cleaner Cons. . . . . . . . . . . . Damp Proofing AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Amco Construction . . . . . . . Decorating Services Brush Strokes . . . . . . . . . . . Disability Aids Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Door Repairs S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . . Double Glazing All Seasons Windows . . . . Marton Windows . . . . . . . . . S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . . Window Wizard . . . . . . . . . . Driveways ProLine Eco Drives . . . . . . . Electrical Appliances Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Electrical Services AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 10 Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 31 GLS Electrical . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Page 14 Fascias & Soffits AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Front Pg Page 21 Callaghan’s Rooflines . . . . . Back Pg Garage Doors Page 8 Cleveland Up & Over . . . . . Page 16 Page 7 Garolla . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 23 Garden Services Page 19 Gibson Landscapes . . . . . . Page 15 Page 13 Lion Lawns . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 MWC Gardening . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Page 21 Riverside Landscaping . . . . Page 14 Page 4 Heating AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 10 Aquaflow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20 Page 6 Dinsdale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back Pg Front Pg SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 8 Slingsby Interiors . . . . . . . . . Page 25 Page 5 Wilsons Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 27 Home Improvements Page 7 Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 22 Kitchens Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Front Pg Space Master . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23 Page 7 Welham Kitchens . . . . . . . . Page 16 Page 11 WS Plastics . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Landscaping Page 7 Gibson Landscapes . . . . . . Page 15 MWC Gardening . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Front Pg Riverside Landscaping . . . . Page 14 Page 5 Light Haulage M&M Recovery . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Page 23 Loft Ladders & Loft Space Yorkshire Loft Ladders . . . . Page 9 Page 25 Mobility Aids Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 25 Page 11 The Lift Guys . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Oven Cleaning Hobsnobs Ovens . . . . . . . . Page 7 Page 3 Painting & Decorating Page 2 Brush Strokes . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23 Page 11 Patios / Paving Page 4 ProLine Eco Drives . . . . . . . Page 23 Plumbers Page 23 AEP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 10 Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Page 13 Aquaflow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20 Page 13

Plumbers (cont’d) Dinsdale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back Pg SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 8 Wilsons Plumbing . . . . . . . . Page 27 Property Renovation Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Roller Shutters Garolla . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5 Roofing Services AAA Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Front Pg Amco Construction . . . . . . . Page 5 Callaghan’s Rooflines . . . . . Back Pg Quality Roofing . . . . . . . . . . Page 17 S&S Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Scrap Cars M&M Recovery . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Showrooms Rubberduck . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 Welhams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Shutters Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6 Stairlifts Aiding You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 25 The Lift Guys . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Synthetic Turf Lion Lawns . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 31 Riverside Landscaping . . . . Page 14 Tiling SC Henderson . . . . . . . . . . Page 8 Vehicle Recovery M&M Recovery . . . . . . . . . . Page 3 Washing Machines Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Washing Machine Repairs Birkbecks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Wardrobes Space Master . . . . . . . . . . . Page 23 Window Blinds Polaris Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6 Windows & Doors All Seasons Windows . . . . Page 3 Marton Windows . . . . . . . . . Page 2 S&S Windows . . . . . . . . . . . Page 11 Window Wizard . . . . . . . . . . Page 4 Deadline for the next edition is

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