Volume 10, Issue 27 - Bay Watch

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Sound Smart at a Party Can your coffee mug store energy? In the future, it could, since

researchers at Rice University have made five sprayable paints that, when layered together, form a lithium-ion battery. Regular batteries are made up of five layers; a positive and negative electrode, both paired with a metal current collector, and a polymer separator in the middle. The layers are usually made in sheets and rolled up into a cylinder. The researchers created a sprayable version of each layer using metallic paints and custom materials, and voila, battery paints that allow you to store energy on walls, tiles, and coffee mugs (these are the things they’ve tried it out on so far). The paints aren’t ready for home use yet and don’t have the energy of an actual battery, but they are using this base to work on improving them. Personally, we don’t know how comfortable we’ll feel drinking coffee out of a mug that is simultaneously charging our cell phone… A New Mexico mom was arrested and handcuffed in front of her five children for failing to return Twilight books and DVDs to the library on time.

Lori Teel spent the night in jail for not bringing back Twilight and two-DVD

set The Twilight Saga: New Moon after taking them out in 2010. Her attorney told the Albuquerque Journal that the arrest warrants were mailed to an old address last year, and police picked her up while investigating a disturbance. Her charges were dismissed, but she still owes her local library $36. The attorney did not mention whether she was Team Edward or Team Jacob… A recent study suggests that the level of communication between two parts of the brain may establish whether or not a person’s injury will lead to chronic pain. Researchers deter-

mined that brain regions related to emotional and motivational behavior communicated more in those who would later develop chronic pain. They used the brain scans of 40 patients who had developed back pain recently, and predicted that the ones who had interaction between the frontal cortex and the nucleus accumbens would have chronic pain. After following the patients for a year, they found that they accurately predicted 85 percent of the patients. “For the first time, we can explain why people who may have the exact same initial pain either go on to recover or develop chronic pain,” said

senior study author A. Vania Apkarian, a professor at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. An estimated 30 million to 40 million Americans suffer from chronic pain… Excavators in Germany believe they may have found the world’s oldest purse. They uncovered more than 100

dog teeth arranged close together in a

grave dated between 2,500 and 2,200 B.C. near Leipzig. Archaeologists believe that since the teeth were all pointed in the same direction, it was most likely decorations for the outer flap of a purse, and whatever fabric or leather it was made of had disintegrated. It seems dog teeth were once a chic style, as excavators in the area have commonly found them in hair ornaments and necklaces…

“Picture me with a Kodiak...Ha! daleeeeee!!!!! #exilepitbull @walmartspecials @Sheets” rapper Pitbull’s Tweet regarding a Walmart contest that will send him to the store with the most Facebook likes. A writer from the Boston Phoenix started an “Exile Pitbull” movement shortly after the contest was announced to send Pit to Walmart’s most remote location in Kodiak, Alaska. (AP Photo/Lynne Sladky, file)

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FROM THE EDITOR

Long Island Press Wins Big at AAN Altweekly Awards The Long Island Press brought home First-Place and Third-Place honors at the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN)’s 2012 Altweekly Awards and Annual Convention June 8 in Detroit. The Altweekly Awards recognize superior journalism and graphic design among alternative publications across the United States and Canada and is known for its high caliber of nominated works. This year the competition received 1,108 entries from 90 of its 128 member publications. Press Senior Editor Spencer Rumsey, Multimedia Reporter Rashed Mian and Art Director Jon Sasala won First Place in the All-Publications, Online Category of Multimedia, for the ambitious “Tunnelvision: Inside The East Side Access Project,” which brought readers and viewers deep into the cavernous bowels of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s stillunderway multi-billion-dollar public works initiative to connect the Long Island Rail Road to Manhattan’s Grand Central Terminal. The Press’ multimedia package

interwove a colorful and telling narrative about the project and the workers who’ve been toiling away more than 120 feet below-ground to make it a reality. “Tunnelvision” featured the main article, a compelling photo gallery and a moving video documenting the inner complexities of such a mammoth and historical undertaking. Press Publisher Jed Morey brought home Third Place in the Writing Category Political Column for publications with circulation of 50,000 and more, for three of his insightful, probing and sharp-witted “Off The Reservation” columns: “$4 Per Gallon: Beating The Oil Drum;” “The Dow Of Poo;” and “A Slippery Slope To Fascism.” First-Place winners received certificates and a shot of bourbon at the awards presentation.

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APRIL 21 - APRIL 27, 2011

HAPPY FOURTH!

This week’s issue of the Long Island Press is what we call a “Double-Issue,” meaning it will stay on stands until July 19 for the summer holidays. In the meantime, be sure to look out for our sister publication Milieu, which will have its debut stand-alone week beginning July 12.

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C Ex hec pre koutss

The Target s

cloud

alec

ALEC—PARTIAL SCORE Fresh off his previous Words with Friends airline tirade and his one-sided brawl with a New York Daily News photographer, Alec Baldwin tells Vanity Fair that he would like to “stick a knife in” and “gut” and “kill” TMZ producer Harvey Levin for releasing the 2007 voicemail message of Baldwin cursing out his then 11-year-old daughter. Well, at least he’s had five years to cool off! 2 #

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CLOUDS (Both kinds)—OFF TARGET As violent storms sweep across the Eastern United States wiping out power for millions, services that utilize cloud computing like Netflix, Instagram and Pinterest suffer server outages that last hours when an Amazon facility in Virginia loses power. Moral of the story: Our high-tech digi-clouds have nothing on Mother Nature’s real ones.

MADOFF #2 ARRESTED—Bull’s Eye Although he pleads guilty to numerous crimes and agrees to serve 10 years in prison, Peter Madoff maintains he was clueless about older brother Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, claiming he was merely a victim who was just as shocked as the investors who were swindled out of billions—even as he made tens of millions in salary and bonuses for handling the daily operations of the company. We believe him. He was probably just playing Words with Friends at his desk all day with Alec Baldwin! BLOOMBERG—PARTIAL SCORE New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg rejects the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey’s efforts to have a greater say over the 9/11 Memorial. The mayor says control should remain with the National September 11 Memorial & Museum Foundation to keep the site out of “the political process.” Soda on the other hand… ANTI-SUNSCREEN POLICIES—OFF TARGET Some camp and school administrators stop allowing students to apply sunscreen, making them spend hours outdoors getting sunburned instead, after deciding regulations that bar children from carrying prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications should include sunscreen, what they now consider an OTC drug. And these are the people educating our children? Yikes. TEEN RAGE—OFF TARGET A study by Harvard Medical School finds one in 12 teens has intermittent explosive disorder, characterized by chronic, uncontrollable fits of rage. If these guys really did their research, they would have also realized that one in 12 teens are Alec Baldwin fans.

The Pink Slip

mets fans Mets fans, you bums! Three SF Giants players end up on the National League’s starting lineup for next Tuesday’s All Star Game and our MVP third-baseman David Wright winds up on the reserve bench. Yes, they might be Giants, but how could you let those wuzzies by the bay school us on stuffing the virtual ballot boxes? This is the city that made Tammany Hall the brand name in election rigging! The worst offense is that the Hot Corner went to SF third-baseman Pablo Sandaval, who was trailing Wright by 460,000 votes only a week ago, yet beat him by 1.6 million. Because Mets fans dropped the ball, the starting nod goes to an overblown player who’d been out partying so hard hours before his minor league rehab assignment that a woman called the cops at 4:25 a.m. to report he’d sexually assaulted her (his lawyer says it was “consensual”). OK, so the Giants won a World Series two years ago and the Mets still have that postBernie Madoff malaise stinking up the owners’ box. But that’s no excuse. As Mets GM Sandy Alderson tweeted: “Wright vs. Sandoval: A city of 8 million was outvoted by a city of 800,000.” Hang your heads in shame, NY. The one time you could do more than boo at Citi Field, you blew it. Your Amazings deserve better. Mets fans...You’re fired!

The Photo

The Quote

Aerosmith frontman and American Idol judge Steven Tyler puts his arm around guitarist Joe Perry during a show at Nassau Coliseum on July 1. (Photo by David Wexler/Long Island Press)

“The Affordable Care Act’s requirement that certain individuals pay a financial penalty for not obtaining health insurance may reasonably be characterized as a tax. Because the Constitution permits such a tax, it is not our role to forbid it, or to pass upon its wisdom or fairness.” —Chief Justice Roberts wrote in the majority opinion last Thursday, as the Supreme Court upheld President Obama’s health care overhaul in a 5-4 vote.

The Equation

TOM CRUISE + SCIENTOLOGY + THE COUCH INCIDENT + IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES

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The Rundown

1. DOWNLOAD UNDERCOVER TOURIST APPS: If you’re heading to Walt Disney World or Universal Studios in Orlando this summer, having wait times for every ride on hand will save a lot of walking when you could be using that valuable time drinking Butter Beer in front of Hogwarts or chomping down on a giant turkey leg in Frontierland. And it’s free so, even if you’re just slaving away at your desk and going nowhere, knowing someone else is waiting 100 minutes to get on the Forbidden Journey of Harry Potter ride or Space Mountain in 105-degree heat could make all the difference.

2. GOOGLE “GOOGLE GLASSES”: Google revealed their augmented reality headset last week at its I/O Developer Conference. It can be controlled by voice, connected to the Internet, and records and streams video through a small transparent screen above the user’s right eye. Concept videos show what Google has planned for the device: displaying text messages, alerting the user to local service shutdowns, integration with Google Maps, and video conferences. Sound good to you? Well, you need only wait until 2014. They’ll hopefully be cheaper by then; the developer versions of the glasses were made available for pre-order at a price of $1,500.

3. DOWNLOAD NEW SPOTIFY ARTIST APPS: Quincy, Tiesto, Rancid and Disturbed have all released Spotify Artist Apps, which are designed to categorize and organize Spotify’s 16 million-plus tracks and educate music fans on various genres and subgenres. Spotify allows users to stream music for free, and with these apps, users can see what famous musicians themselves are listening to and easily join in. Artist Apps are available globally on the desktop client of Spotify on the left-hand nav bar. 4. BUY NY COMIC-CON TICKETS: San Diego Comic-Con begins July 12, but if you can’t be bothered to make the roughly 2,800-mile trip, then you can still pick up tickets to the October Comic-Con in Gotham City, the biggest pop culture convention on the East Coast. If you’re at all interested in seeing any of the panels or talks, or just want to meet some celebs or pick up collectibles from the worlds of comics, graphic novels, anime, manga, video games, toys, movies and TV, you can get tickets at newyorkcomiccon.com. And may the force be with you…

5. ORDER CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY ON AMAZON: Cards Against Humanity is what it says: a party game for horrible people. Think of it as a raunchy Apples to Apples based entirely on humor. A black card is on the table, with half a sentence that needs to be completed with a phrase on a white card, sometimes several of them. The players then play their white cards, and the person whose turn it is reads the white cards out loud and chooses the best one. Again, it’s Apples to Apples, if Apples to Apples had cards like “A windmill full of corpses” and “Licking things to claim them as your own,” the only cards we can share without being fined by the FCC—if the FCC could fine newspapers.

The estimated cost of building the Trump on the Ocean restaurant and catering hall at Jones Beach. The legal battle that started in 2006 between Trump and New York state over design issues ended last week. the project is slated to break ground early next year.

B-List B-Day NADYA “OCTOMOM” SULEMAN July 11, 1976 Nadya Suleman is a Cancer, symbolized by the crab. Crabs have eight legs. Nads had eight children—at one time! Cancers have a close connection with water, especially the ocean, the embryonic fluid of the Earth. They are ruled by the moon. A full moon can be seen for about three days, about as long as Nadya’s time in the spotlight, and even though it goes away, it is, of course, guaranteed to make an appearance time and time again. While the maternal sideshow known as Octomom kept things on the down-low for awhile, we always knew she’d cycle around to the full visibility and cataclysmic power of a Super Moon—whether it be making headlines again over her filthy house being foreclosed on—or releasing a solo sex tape. Thankfully, a full moon means a dark moon is just around the corner…We can only hope.

7. TIVO PYROS ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL: This new docu-series follows an elite team of pyro-technicians at Montreal’s Groupe Fiatlux-Ampleman as they blow things up in the sky for a living. Exotic locations and harsh weather conditions create one-of-a-kind fireworks shows every Tuesday at 9 p.m. 8. VISIT KOALASTOTHEMAX.COM: We visited this site for more hours than we care to admit, carving our initials in and splitting the atom, so to speak. It wasn’t until a few days ago we realized there’s a reason this website is called what it is…see if you can figure it out. And don’t mock us when you do. 9. CHECK OUT PLANS FOR THE NEW BEACH BIKE PATH: The Jones Beach Access Project, a 0.7-mile connection between the end of the 7.5-mile Wantagh Parkway path and the Jones Beach East Bath House, is coming early next year. Get your streamers ready! 10. HAVE SCHWAN’S ICE CREAM DELIVERED: Ice cream shortage? Pshhhh. What ice cream shortage!?! Have tubs of Loaded Waffle Cone Peanut Butter Swirl and Monkeying Around Banana delivered right to your door! Visit www.schwans.com. news

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MERCURY By Lesley-Ann Jones In this intimate biography of Freddie Mercury, award-winning rock journalist and author Lesley-Ann Jones presents the full portrait of both the complex man and the myth. Jones toured widely with Queen and still has unrivalled access to the band. She secured more than 100 interviews with those closest to Mercury, many of who are only opening up now, 20 years after his tragic death. Meticulously researched, sympathetic yet not sensational, Mercury offers an unvarnished, revealing look at the extreme highs and lows of life in the fast lane. Jones details it all, from Queen’s slow but steady rise to fame, to the creation of ground-breaking songs like “Bohemian Rhapsody,” to the decadent, raucous after-parties Queen became infamous for, to the band’s creative process and their perpetual quest to challenge themselves musically. To gain a better understanding of Mercury’s early life and his somewhat fraught relationship with his traditional, conservative past, Jones traveled to Zanzibar, his birthplace, and India, where he attended boarding school. Jones also provides new insights into the great loves of Mercury’s life—longtime girlfriend Mary Austin, chef Joe Fanelli, German soft-porn star Barbara Valentin, live-in-lover Jim Hutton—and what those relationships meant to him. In Mercury, a compelling, definitive portrait emerges of this cultural icon. —Daphne Livingston

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6. PLAY LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW: Lollipop Chainsaw is a hack-and-slash game for Playstation 4 and Xbox 360 with a very interesting premise. You are an energetic cheerleader named Juliet, whose school has been overrun by zombies. Her boyfriend, Nick, was bitten by a zombie, so what does our intrepid cheerleader do? Naturally, she uses her chainsaw to chop his head off and somehow keeps him alive, albeit as a head that she carries with her. The game’s blend of over-the-top ridiculousness and humor alone are enough to recommend a purchase, or at the very least, a rent.

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Jerry’s Ink BY JERRY DELLA FEMINA, Publisher, the Independent

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Nobody Asked Me, But... When I was 12 years old, my favorite newspaper writer was a young man named Jimmy Breslin, who wrote about boxing for the New York JournalAmerican. I tried to write like Breslin, who spent his life trying to write in the style of a great old sports writer named Jimmy Cannon. Jimmy Cannon, of course, wasn’t happy with the way he wrote—he wanted to write like Ernest Hemingway and imitated him every chance he got. That’s my writing pedigree. Every Friday Cannon wrote a column that I would devour. The column consisted of his observations of the passing scene. It was called “Nobody Asked Me, But...” A friend suggested that I write a “Nobody Asked Me, But” column and so, with apologies to Breslin, Cannon and Hemingway…

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NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT... • The next person Tom Cruise will marry will be John Travolta. Remember, you read it here first. • If there is any justice, Bernie Madoff and Jerry Sandusky should be forced to be cellmates. • I only watched two episodes of The Girls, but every time I felt like I had to take a shower. • I’m old, but the thought of having sex with a woman who has giant tattoos on her chest makes me want to barf. • Chief Justice John Roberts’ view that the ObamaCare mandate is really an enormous tax that will be paid by the middle class may just make Mitt Romney the next president of the U.S. It feels like 2010 all over again. • I’m disappointed but I have no quarrel with Chief Justice Roberts’ decision on ObamaCare. He made a judicial decision and not a political one. That’s what I thought the Supreme Court was all about in the first place. • Let me get this straight: The four conservatives in the Supreme Court are an evil bloc who only vote for political reasons, and the four liberals on the Supreme Court are just four wonderful fair-thinking people who just happen to agree on the same subject every time. They’re not a bloc, just sweetness and goodness. • Every time I contemplate the thought of “New York City Mayor Christine Quinn” I break out in a cold sweat. • Fast and Furious is the most boring

issue in an election year. Nobody cares. • If Barack Obama had any guts, he would replace Eric Holder as Attorney General with Eliot Spitzer. • I love how calling for executive privilege has become such a “nothing” issue with the liberal press now that Obama did it. • I’m all for it, but I can’t help but wonder if Barack Obama thinks about his Noble Peace Prize when he decides which terrorist he wants to blow to smithereens in a drone death. • I saw someone on the street who wasn’t holding a cell phone the other day. I was shocked and afraid. • Tell the truth: when you see one of those idiots blabbing on a cell phone and crossing the street against traffic and looking the wrong way, don’t you secretly wish they would get nicked a little? Not killed, just sort of knocked down with painful scrapes on their knees? Forget I just wrote that. That’s too creepy even for me. • 15-year-old boys seem to like school a lot better than I did when I was a kid. Maybe it’s the teacher/student sex. • I’m giving you 20 minutes (without Google) to name four members of Barack Obama’s cabinet—I’ll bet you can’t do it. • Chuck Schumer can put me to sleep with 25 self-satisfied words or less. I wonder how Chuck explains Barack Obama to the Wall Street honchos he’s been hustling for political donations over the years. • As a Republican, I’m embarrassed every time Senator Mitch McConnell opens his mouth. • I got this email (misspellings and all) the other day from God. This is wordfor-word true. An email message to me from God: Dear US Media: Help! I am Allah, God of The Religions, am now here on Earth, and seeking your help for a church or mosque to help with The Resurrection, a special religious event. I am also seeking media relations for this Millennium’s events as it pertains to religious matters. If you can help anything at all, to include an encourage word, please email god@llah.US or call 1-707-925-2488 SMS/VM; Please advise Me as soon as possible. Emergency Message, God Allah

If you wish to comment on “Jerry’s Ink” email Jerry at jerry@dfjp.com

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Dale Paetruska spots a pleasure craft packed with 20-somethings zipping through yacht-clogged Sag Harbor and flicks on the blue lights and sirens of his 27-foot Boston Whaler. “Let’s go say, ‘Hello,’” he tells his partner, Jeff Louchheim, as the two chase down the young party boaters. Paetruska, a mustached, navy-blue clad seadog of an East Hampton Town Bay Constable, conducts a quick interview over his boat’s side rail before jumping back to the helm to avoid drifting into a catamaran—one of the hazards that come with working on the water is that everything is constantly moving. His team quickly finds a new spot to restart their probe. “Oh my god, look at how safe we are, guys,” one young woman sarcastically says after her group proves they have enough lifejackets. The constables blow it off. The skiff appears overcapacity, though it lacks an onboard capacity plate, which would state how many people are legally allowed on board. Without it, Paetruska and his partner don’t have the proof they need to issue the $75 fine for having too many people on the vessel. He lets them off with a warning instead. Some boaters view him as a funseeking torpedo, blowing up nautical parties with pop quizzes about boating safety. Yet Paetruska just wants to make sure everyone gets home in one piece. “It starts out as a day of fun,” he says—ironically on a day when Southampton police divers were simultaneously searching for a 26-year-old 14

“People shouldn’t go out for a day on the water and come home in a body bag.” — East hampton town bay constable Dale Paetruska

drowning victim four miles away in a Noyack pond. “People shouldn’t go out for a day on the water and come home in a body bag.” After 18 years of patrolling the Hamptons’ waters as a bay constable— prior to his current position, for Southampton—Paetruska’s seen a lot. As he slowly cruises on patrol around the mooring field at sunset, he recalls some of the worst: The man whose daughter was fatally struck by the propeller after she was sitting with her legs over the bow of their boat and fell off when they hit a wave. The young couple on a personal watercraft, or PWC—such as Kawasaki’s popular Jet Ski—who drowned after it ran out

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of gas, stranding them at night. The father whose 12-year-old son was hit and killed by a novice boater while he was jumping wakes on a PWC a week before his birthday. As he speaks, Paetruska joins forces with the Sag Harbor village harbormaster just over the town line in Southampton alongside other marine units from nearby Shelter Island, Southold, U.S. Coast Guard—even Suffolk County deputy sheriffs—who fan throughout the bay to prevent future tragedies in the crush of boaters anchored for a pre-July 4 fireworks show. Rookie night-boating collisions are expected. Their top priority is busting drunken boaters, especially

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after an alleged Boating While Intoxicated (BWI) death on the Great South Bay a week earlier. It’s been a long day for Paetruska that started at 6 a.m. This evening assignment follows his morning partnered with Customs and Border Patrol agents, checking foreign-flag vessels for passports and ensuring they notify authorities upon reaching Long Island ports, a federal rule not all are aware of, same as many state boating laws. Some of the inspected yachts hail from Canada, the Cayman Islands and the Bahamas—part of a four-yearold sporadic effort dubbed Operation SHIELD (or Operation Gateway, as it’s known in Nassau). Besides enforcing local, boating, fishing, hunting and environmental laws—as well as search and rescue missions—New York State and federal authorities increasing rely on these peace officers for critical intelligence from the 1,000 miles of Long Island coastline they jointly protect. Some assignments, such as cracking down on errant jet skiers, seem too modern for the original job description of a bay constable—a title that dates to colonial days, when many LI towns were established. But these officers also draw inspiration from relative recent history, like the Coast Guardsman who caught Nazi German spies sneaking ashore in Amagansett during World War II. Paetruska, a former president of the New York State Harbormaster and Bay Constable Association, juggles his duties with a deep-rooted love of the job despite the added pressures that come from seeing his unit’s personnel and budget slashed. He’s not alone in f e at u r e s

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the sentiment. The job is fraught with many of the same perils as full-fledged police officers on land. There’s also the added obstacle of boaters’ fatigue from the wind, sun, saltwater spray and constant rocking of the boat—not to mention longer response times. “We’re it, we’re the ambulance, we’re the fire department,” says Ed Michaels, East Hampton town’s chief harbormaster, a retired Montauk-based Coast Guard master chief, and chair of the Eastern LI Maritime Law Enforcement Task Force, comprised of the five East End townships outside the Suffolk County police Marine Bureau patrol area. “It’s an unforgiving environment,” he says while looking out over Three Mile Harbor in the constables’ outpost bordering Gardiners Bay. “We’re all in the same boat.” That environment may get a whole lot more unforgiving for bay constables monitoring Nassau’s waters if recently threatened cuts to the county’s workforce by Nassau County Executive Ed Mangano affect its police department’s marine bureau, which would potentially force the county’s three towns top pick up the slack. Those additional law enforcement duties would fall upon two townships

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whose constables aren’t even armed. All while the Town of Oyster Bay’s marine unit boss is currently under criminal investigation. “We live on an island, we’re not getting rid of our Marine Bureau,” Mangano told reporters in April 2011, when such concerns first surfaced. “To even consider having another jurisdiction perform those duties would be a disservice to not only the people of Nassau County who use the waterways for pleasure, but also for the people that use the water as a place of business, like the baymen,” says James Carver, president of the Nassau County Police Benevolent Association, the union that represents rank-and-file officers. Despite the assurances, some bay constables, who wish to remain anonymous since they are currently on the job and fear retaliation, tell the Press such potential cuts are still very much a concern.

LEAKY LIFEBOAT

Nassau Marine bureau currently has 24/7 coverage with one boat each on the north and south shores for the summer—two officers on during the day, three at night. That’s compared to 24/7 South Shore boat patrols in

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Suffolk, where there’s 16-hour coverage on the North Shore but about twice the full-time staff. Both departments have shrunk over the years from their heyday of 100-plus officers each. It’s a historical trend not just relegated to county marine bureaus; bay constable agencies across the Island have seen their fair share of down-sizing over the years, too. Though officers in these marine patrol units face disparate issues across the 13 towns, an analysis of bay constable department staff, budgets and summons activity over the past five years reveals some notable comparisons. While five LI townships were investing in the bay constables, at least three others sliced their budgets. The remainder left them as they were. And overall, the departments had an average of six boats for patrol and maintenance functions. Last year Oyster Bay had the largest bay constable unit budget at $1.2 million, with Hempstead coming in a close second at $1 million. Including seasonal staff, Huntington had the most bay constables with 17. Riverhead Town lays claim to LI’s smallest bay constable unit with just one. “Things are a lot more complicated out there today,” says John Valentine, head of Smithtown’s public

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“The sheer magnitude of the number of recreational vessels is a daunting task to try to police or patrol from a homeland security standpoint.” — Sgt. john andrejack, head of the marine unit for the suffolk county sheriff’s office

safety department, who oversees one full timer and 12 seasonal constables to patrol one of the largest Jet Ski areas with the most small boats on LI. “At the day’s end you want everybody to have a good time. But you want to get everybody home safe. And that’s where we come in.”

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east hampton town chief harbormaster ed michaels secures his unit’s boston whaler at the dock outside their three mile harbor outpost.

Among the most drastic changes were in East Hampton’s marine department, widely considered a model, which now has three full timers—down from seven—complemented by nine seasonal part timers. Their budget is now $643,921, a 27-percent cut from their 2007 level, which coincided with

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a recent consolidation with the town police department and farming out tasks such as buoy maintenance. The town, which still touts a new grant-funded patrol boat, issues up to 700 summonses annually—the most on the Island—while averaging two or three arrests, typically for BWI.

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“Anybody who wants to deal with the waters, they’re going to deal with us,” says Michaels, East Hampton’s chief harbormaster. In many LI towns, bay constables can go years without making an arrest. Brookhaven’s bay constables, for example, don’t make arrests despite

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having two shores to patrol. But for the rest of LI’s town marine patrols, summonses can vary from between 10 and 50 in some towns to hundreds annually. Islip had 45 summonses or arrests in 2007, but town officials say finding annual statistics for other years was too difficult to fulfill a Freedom of Information Law request. Babylon was the only town on LI that did not release any annual statistics for their bay constables’ arrests and summonses. A town attorney says they do not keep such stats. In their 2010 year-end report, Southampton bay constables recapped a banner year in which they broke their own record for summonses with 505. They responded to more than 1,600 calls that year, including 19 accidents, two drownings and 103 calls for assistance. Any substantial belt-tightening scenario for Nassau’s Marine Bureau— whether currently being considered by the Mangano administration or not— would undoubtedly put more pressure on its three town bay constable units:

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Hempstead, North Hempstead and Oyster Bay. “Yes, we are concerned about the cutbacks to the county,” says Colin Nash, a North Hempstead town spokesman. “That would impact how we do things if [Marine Bureau] got cut.” Spokeswomen for the towns of Hempstead and Oyster Bay declined to comment.

SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY Having fewer personnel covering a broader area won’t make the job any easier, and if the job responsibilities come with an added emphasis on homeland security, then having the right tools for the job could help, some constables say. In Nassau only Hempstead’s officers are armed with handguns. North Hempstead arms theirs with batons and pepper spray. Oyster Bay constables are unarmed. Aside from being unarmed, Oyster Bay has another thing in common with bay constables in Brookhaven, which is the only town department in Suffolk to share the distinction: Both are the only

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towns on LI with shores on both the Sound and the Atlantic. Bay constables are tasked with enforcing fish and wildlife laws. They frequently interact with fishermen carrying knives and hunters armed with guns. It’s only a matter of time before being outgunned catches up with them, according to one Oyster Bay constable who asked not to be named for fear of retaliation, introducing yet another shared concern among the water rescuers. “There is a threat out there,” says the constable, noting that he and his colleagues were required to firearms training annually to maintain peace officer status until a recent change in the law. “The town board and the supervisor are endangering the lives of their constables and … the public by not giving them the tools to do the job.” Despite the on-the-job dangers, however, Oyster Bay Town Supervisor John Venditto believes it’s best not to arm his bay constables. “I never want to pick up the newspaper and read that one of my residents was shot because they were clamming in three inches of water,” Venditto told the Press in a February interview. When reminded that the officers regularly deal with boaters and

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hunters who are armed themselves, he maintained his opposition. “Look, I’ve been out with constables,” he said. “I’ve spoken to constables for over 30 years. There’s no need for them to be armed, and I’d be very concerned about some of the situations that might arise if they were armed.” Cases last year that illustrate the constables’ concerns include a man in a raft armed with a handgun who washed up at Jones Beach and a man who had an Interpol warrant for murder picked up on a fishing violation in Southold. Andrew DeMartin, North Hempstead’s commissioner of public safety, noted that the town recently received a grant to provide 10 bullet-proof vests to their bay constables. He also said there is legislation pending in Albany that would allow the town bay constables to be armed with handguns—which would override town policy forbidding constables carry firearms. There is a precedent. Steve Resler, another ex-harbormaster association head, says he successfully lobbied state lawmakers for the right to carry firearms himself as a Smithtown bay constable in the 1970s and ’80s, when a clam-digging rush turned LI waters into the Wild West. But that revision of the law didn’t carry

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over to everyone, he says. “It’s nuts,” says Resler, now a science diver based in Albany who describes himself as pro-gun control and has been pushing for the bill to arm constables. “I don’t care whether the Nassau County Police Department is in full force. Bay constables should be armed, period.”

ALONG THE WATCHTOWER It is easy to forget that marine units patrolling the shores of LI also make up the first line of national defense, geographically and figuratively speaking. Nassau Marine Bureau officers who teach a state-run boater safety course—a requirement for all PWC operators and boaters under 18— recalled during a recent eight-hour class how their unit helped foil a terrorism plot to blow up fuel tanks at John F. Kennedy International Airport in 2007. A witness reported men videotaping planes to and from JFK while standing on the deck of a boat in the western bays near the Queens border. Nassau’s marine officers interviewed

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“We’ve had our share of everything you could imagine here.”

During Topical Storm Irene, boaters forced inland were met by authorities who checked more than 252 vessels, over 45 foreign, finding 12 federal law violations, including failure to report, 89 other violations, and three boats containing hazardous materials—making for one unusually busy pre-Labor Day weekend last year.

TROUBLED WATERS

— malory nathan, north hempstead town’s head bay constable

the men and passed along the tip to federal investigators. Members of the group were later convicted on terrorism charges. Nassau County police declined an interview request with Marine Bureau officers for this story, but the widely shared anecdote illustrates the significance of having such officers on the front lines—and an informed public that reports suspicious activity. “You don’t know what you don’t know,” says Jim Horton, assistant director for the state Office of Counter

Terrorism, which provides grant funding to local agencies for the foreign-flag vessel boarding operations. “It’s quite open out there. We hope we’re creating a deterrence.” He does not discuss specific cases, but notes that such efforts have intercepted a few drug runners and human smugglers—although it’s not quite as bad as the Prohibition era, when largely unchecked bootleggers dubbed LI’s shores “Rum Row.” Sgt. John Andrejack, commanding officer of the Suffolk sheriff’s

marine patrol unit, says Operation SHIELD has shed light on some local security blind spots. For example, coordinated marina checks have helped authorities develop databases of vessels and identify travel patterns. “The sheer magnitude of the number of recreational vessels is a daunting task to try to police or patrol from a homeland security standpoint,” admits Andrejack, who was among those patrolling Sag Harbor for the recent fireworks show. “I think very little is escaping us,” he adds.

Recently, one LI marine unit has sparked suspicions of their own. Nassau County prosecutors are investigating whether John Antetomaso, Oyster Bay’s supervisor of conservation and waterways, broke the law by using town resources for favors to his friends and family. District Attorney Kathleen Rice’s office is conducting “an ongoing review” into the son of former Nassau GOP powerbroker Frank Antetomaso, says Nassau DA spokesman John Byrne. He did not release further details, but a source close to the investigation confirmed for the Press published reports that the probe is looking into Continued on page 22

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east hampton town chief harbormaster ed michaels informs a couple that it is against code to ride a personal watercraft in town bays.

Continued from page 19

whether he stored his family’s boats in town facilities and ordered constables to bring him gasoline while he was in the Fire Island Inlet. A town spokesman declined to comment, citing the continuing investigation. Oyster Bay officials previously told Newsday that John Antetomaso is facing a written warning or disciplinary hearing after admitting to both scenarios. The scandal erupted just after Christopher Briggs, an Oyster Bay constable, filed a notice of claim this spring against the town, the first step in a planned negligence lawsuit alleging the town forces the officers to work on unseaworthy vessels. Briggs was injured when he slipped off a broken-down patrol boat nearly 20 years old that was being towed in January. The part timer is recovering from surgery to repair torn cartilage in his shoulder and has yet to return to work. “The town has a duty to provide their seaman with a safe place to work in a seaworthy vessel,” says Timothy Schweitzer, Briggs’ Manhattan-based attorney. A town spokeswoman declined to comment, citing pending litigation.

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TIDE IS HIGH

Recently, on a cloudy Memorial Day weekend, Malory Nathan, the senior North Hempstead bay constable, pushed his 27-foot Safe Boat off the town dock in Port Washington to stop recreational boaters for quick safety checks in Manhasset Bay. “It’s a lot easier to deal with these people at two o’clock on a Saturday afternoon,” says Nathan, recalling near-physical confrontations with less cooperative local drunken pirate-types he summonsed. “I don’t want to put a damper on their holiday weekend.” Boaters call Nathan’s watery turf,

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which runs from the Stepping Stone Lighthouse in the eastern half of Little Neck Bay to the western half of Hempstead Harbor, “Exit One” given its proximity to the mouth of the East River, making it a refueling port for transient boaters and especially longdistance sailors biding the tides. “We’ve had our share of everything you could imagine here,” Nathan says, donning Maui Jim sunglasses while at the helm of Marine 5 and listening to four different radios. “Everybody thinks all we do is ride around on a boat all day.” Below the dark-green surface lies a

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treacherous seascape epitomized by the jagged hidden rocks not found off the South Shore. And something else lies nearby, which might surprise the Gold Coast celebrity yacht clubber scene. Just a mile offshore over the New York City line is Hart Island—the final home to nearly a million mostly poor, many unidentified folks at Potter’s Field, the world’s largest taxpayer-funded cemetery now a century old. At 2:31 p.m., in the middle of Nathan’s best fish story of the day— regaling how he was responding to a dolphin pod 200 strong, making him a stranded marine mammal first responder—comes the first catch of the day: a small boat in distress in Hempstead Harbor north of Tappen Beach in Sea Cliff. He guns it, but Nassau County police Marine Bureau officers beat him to the scene, so he hangs back. Were it a serious call, the response time could have been 15 minutes before he arrived. Things can go bad quickly on the water. This time, police just have to tow a small boat off a sand bar. The question now is: How long can Nathan rely on that backup?

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The school planner cover has quickly become a center of controversy. Both parents and students have voiced concerns about the design, which features six self-portraits by student artists; four are Asian, one is Indian, and one is Caucasian. Meanwhile, this year’s official demographics report South as being 44% Asian, 46.6% White, 6.5% Latino/Hispanic, 2.4% Black/African American, and .07% Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander. Concerns were first heard by the administration when one parent called on the day the planner was released, telling Principal Susan Elliott the cover was “horrible.” According to Ms. Elliott,

some parents said they didn’t like the cover’s demographic representation of the school. Ms. Elliot says that “the cover is not meant to represent our school’s diversity” but “to showcase student art.” She believes that the heated reaction to the racial makeup of the cover “reveals an underlying fear that many people in our community have of diversity.” Many feel the importance of the planner was not considered. Social Studies teacher Mr. Joseph Ko said, “there was no forethought or vision of what [the cover] was designed to be, and nobody consciously thought about the unintended consequences of the

product.” Typically when designing the planner cover, art teachers select two samples of student work; Ms. Elliot then provides input. This year, however, art teachers only brought the selected portraits. Four of the six featured artists told The Southerner they were unaware that their art was selected and were shocked when they saw the planner on the first day of school. The artists whose work was featured had mixed feelings. Minsoo Kim said, “The cover should represent the student body and [featuring] six individuals does not do that.” When it came to the question of diversity, artist Meher Zaman said, “I think the cover could have been more diverse in representing people of six

different ethnicities, sexual orientations, races, disabilities, etc., but I mean I’m Muslim, Indian, and gay. You really can’t get more diverse than me.” There also seems to be disagreement over the implied meaning of school-published materials in general. Do they exist solely to showcase student work, or a to represent the attitudes of the school? Kim says the design “is just not the ideal image for a school-wide planner cover. It may have been ideal for a cover that showcases the work done in our art class, but it is not suitable for a school with this much diversity.” But other artists were pleased that their art was being showcased. As Zaman told The Southerner, “I love when student artwork gets recognized; it is a great opportunity.”

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Long Island Press Arts, Entertainment & Nightlife

Week of July 5 - July 11, 2012

Event s Thursday p.27 Friday p.27 Saturday p.30 Sunday p.32 Monday p.32 Tuesday p.33 Wednesday p.3 3 Thursday p.33 Venue In fo p.32

Do This Event Listings

The Scissor Sisters play Terminal 5 in Manhattan on Friday, 7.6 & Saturday, 7.7.

FLO RIDA @ ROCKEFELLER PLAZA Over the past several years, Flo Rida has pulled off a pretty neat trick. Not only has the Floridaborn rapper become a pop fixture thanks to the blockbuster singles “Low (feat. T-Pain),” “Right Round,” “Club Can’t Handle Me” and his most recent chart-topping hits “Good Feeling (feat. Etta James)” and “Wild Ones (feat. Sia),” he’s also broken down barriers by uniting millions of fans of pop, hip-hop and club music around the world and establishing himself as an international, genre-busting superstar in the process. Flo Rida brings his experiences traveling the globe to his fourth album, Wild Ones, and now to the Plaza. Friday, 7.6. —Daphne Livingston

ongoing LI Shakespeare Festival @ Suffolk Community College, Ammerman Campus, Through 7.16.

To Rome With Love @ Cinema Arts Centre One-on-One Career Counseling @ Baldwin Public Library Call 516-223-6228 for details. I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change @ John W. Engeman Theater at Northport Seafood Fest Wednesdays @ Sunken Meadow State Park, Boardwalk

MAGIC HOUR

CBGB FESTIVAL Hilly Kristal founded CBGB on the principle of only showcasing artists who performed original material. By 1976 it had become a hot bed of what would later be considered iconic music talent including the Ramones, Patti Smith Group, Talking Heads, Blondie, Television, The Dead Boys, Suicide and The Fleshtones, just to name a few. Focusing on new music and emerging young bands, the CBGB Festival will stay true to the original mission of the CBGB & OMFUG club that once lived on the Bowery, featuring more than 300 bands including Cro-Mags, Vision of Disorder, Sick of It All, War on Drugs, MXPX, LA Guns and more. Visit CBGB.com for the full line up. Multiple Locations. Thursday, 7.5-Sunday, 7.8. —Jaclyn Gallucci Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 32

LI Punk Rock BBQ @ Sinclair’s Pub Punk music has been alive since the Seventies. A recent resurgence of its “do-it-yourself,” or DIY, mentality can be found all over Long Island. An annual celebration called the LI Punk Rock BBQ takes place each summer and it will be back in July at Sinclair’s Pub. It’s exactly what the name implies—a punk rock show with food and alcohol. New York City’s Murphy’s Law will headline the show alongside some of Long Island’s own: Last Call Brawl, Boogie Brains, Live Fast Die Fast, as well as many others. There will be raffles to help raise money for different benefits, such as Autism Speaks. Food and clothing vendors will also be onsite. Sunday, 7.8. —Anthony Dobrini

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thursday 7.5 Agnostic front/Madball/Murphy’s Law/ Maximum Penalty @ Webster Hall BETTY @ Stephen Talkhouse Beat Connection @ Knitting Factory Popa Chubby @ B.B. King Blues Club

in Europe to sell out Wembley Stadium while having to settle for playing a smaller room in their own NYC backyard. And while their dance-club cover of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” afforded them some Stateside success, their mash-up of ’70s-era sounds like disco, Elton John and the Bee Gees haven’t gotten them the accolades they’ve earned across the pond. Chalk it up to Americans not knowing quite how to handle the outright sexuality flaunted by head Sister Jake Shears and company. But given how the recentlyreleased Magic Hour is already garnering mentions of the Bee Gees and John Cameron Mitchell, don’t let that stop you from grabbing your platform shoes and feather boas to see a show where those missing a pulse will be the only ones not cutting a rug. With Rye Rye. Also 7.7. —Manny Fernandez

Craig Finn & The Baseball Project @ City Winery

Freestyle Explosion Live on Stage @ Brookhaven Amphitheater, With Lisa Lisa & Stevie B.

Willie Nile @ Joe’s Pub, Also 7.6.

Filter/Fuel @ Paramount

LHT @ Stephen Talkhouse

Mike Yard @ Governor’s Comedy Club

friday 7.6 Scissor Sisters @ Terminal 5, Amazing as it may seem, The Scissor Sisters are huge enough

Black Out or Get Out: Mixtape Fest After Party @ Revolution Continued on page 28

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friday

Cont.

Roger Waters @ Yankee Stadium, It would be easy to become the world’s biggest cynic upon hearing that Roger Waters is once again going on the road with The Wall: Live given the fact that outside of the three solo albums he’s released since he left Pink Floyd in 1985, most of his projects have involved revisiting this album or Dark Side of the Moon. The big deal here is the huge stage production not unlike the original high-tech tour that only played a handful of American dates in Los Angeles and at Nassau Coliseum back in 1980. Further sweetening this scenario is that he and former partner David Gilmour made peace at a charity event in recent years, and as recently as last May’s show at London’s O2 Arena, both Gilmour and Nick Mason played with Waters on certain parts of the show. Only Waters knows whether his former bandmates will make it out to the Bronx or not for this pair of dates. Also 7.7. —MF David Johansen @ Stephen Talkhouse Sick of it All/CroMags/Vision of Disorder/Absolution/Sai Nam @ Webster Hall Nancy Atlas Project @ Stephen Talkhouse Open Mic Night @ McGuire’s Comedy African-American Night @ Eisenhower Park Sister Sparrow & the Dirty Birds @ Knitting Factory MXPX @ Best Buy Theater, Pop punk legends MXPX are touring in support of Plans Within Plans, their first record since 2007, and the Washington trio is looking to reaffirm their place in the genre. The record features a sound that is both foreign and familiar, as the band has progressed since their last release. Maintaining their trademark punk simplicity and fusing it with haunting melody, MXPX offer their fans something new instead of treading old paths. Masters of the live show, MXPX will definitely break in a number of new songs while playing crowd favorites. —Michael Ventimiglia LI Comedy Fest @ Theatre Three, Also 7.7 Van Hunt @ Knitting Factory Continued on page 30

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LI INTERNATIONAL FILM EXPO The LIIFE will be held at the Bellmore Movies from Thursday, 7.12 to Thursday, 7.19, featuring short and feature-length independent films from all over the globe. Here are 14 films to look for with Long Island ties.

Conciliation A man in the

twilight of his life must reconcile the relationship of his children, thus preserving his family. Filmed in East Meadow and Garden City.

Death by Suspense Charlie and

Briggs run Suspense Inc, the best detective agency in town. When a cold case of selfdecapitation heats up, Charlie and Briggs step into action. Filmed in Huntington Station and Ronkonkoma.

Hard Times: Lost on Long Island

The Great Recession officially ended in 2010, but for 25 million unemployed and underemployed Americans, the fallout continues. Filmed in East Hampton, Hauppauge, Hicksville, Huntington, Levittown, Long Beach, Massapequa, Medford, Melville, Montauk, Plainview, Sayville, Smithtown, Syosset, Uniondale, and Wantagh.

journey of a police sergeant during the course of one night as he and his partner hunt down a Latino gang for the murder of one of their task force. Filmed in Oceanside, Baldwin, Hauppauge, Shirley and Islip.

Ordinary Joe Meet Joe Sciacca, a beer drinking, blue-collar roofer and Vietnam War veteran from Long Island. Driven by complex motives, Joe annually returns to Vietnam, traveling its back alleys and country roads seeking out the poor, diseased and disabled, delivering them his own brand of aid and hope. Filmed in Babylon, Smithtown and in Vietnam. The Pornographer An artist struggling to come to terms with his own creativity and his self-destructive behavior. Filmed in West Islip. Purification A wealthy real-

estate investor is caught between reality and the supernatural. There he crosses paths with people who are in a stationary place for the terrible things they have done in their lifetime. Filmed in Roslyn Harbor, Bohemia, Wantagh, Merrick and Oceanside.

Modern Tide: Midcentury Architecture on Long Island

Explore the work of the region’s best post-war architects and designers, including Albert Frey, Wallace Harrison, Frank Lloyd Wright, Horace Gifford, Edward Durell Stone, and others. Filmed all over Long Island.

My Butterfly A tragic love

Sex Line Harry, a newspaper

editor, is suddenly laid off from work. Struggling, he calls a sex line rather than a therapist as a cheaper alternative. Harry and Diane soon discover they have a lot in common. Filmed in Muttontown.

story, inspired by the music and times of Maria Callas, this 1950s’ period piece plays like an opera. Jack, a handsome young man, meets Maria, a beautiful writer, and the two develop a relationship that parallels the intensity of the accompanying sound track of arias. Filmed in Sands Point.

Unseen The Easy Come, Easy Go bed and breakfast is known locally as a peaceful break from the outside world until an uninvited stranger intrudes. The events that follow show how the greatest horrors of humanity can go unseen. Filmed at Old Bethpage Village Restoration.

My Really Cool Legs Follows a team of pediatric amputees who refuse to let their disability define who they are and how far they can go. Filmed in Riverhead, Garden City and Hicksville.

Welcome Home When a recent graduate loses his job, he is forced to return home only to get stuck spending the day with his outspoken 7-yearold brother and 9-year-old selectively mute sister. Filmed in Rockville Centre and Valley Stream.

Neighbors In this quirky

comedy, a drug user trying to find a lighter meets his neighbor who has been trying to murder his wife so as not to share his windfall raise. Filmed in Northport, Lindenhurst and Jericho.

For show times and the complete LIIFE schedule, visit www.liifilmexpo.org. —Jaclyn Gallucci

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Do This Continued from page 28 /////////////////////

friday

Cont.

Joe DeVito @ Brokerage, Also 7.7 Mike Burton @ McGuire’s, Also 7.7 Carter Hulsey@ Vibe With Rival Summers, The Sexanators, Abby Adams & Count to Ten. Donovan Frankenreiter @ Brooklyn Bowl With Rayland Baxter. Dick Gregory @ B.B. King Blues Club

NOMINATIONS HAVE STARTED FOR

Dale Earnhardt Jr., Jr. @ Highline Ballroom

BEST OF L.I.

2013

Reggie Watts/Radio 4/The Jigglers @ Bell House Redd Kross @ Music Hall of Williamsburg With The Men & The Labor Pool.

NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITES

Ronnie Spector @ City Winery

kin IV @ St. Vitus saturday 7.7 Glassjaw @ Irving Plaza, This year marks a full decade since Glassjaw dropped its 2002 sophomore effort Worship and Tribute on the post-hardcore masses. Since then, Glassjaw toured the world, took a hiatus and watched frontman Daryl Palumbo struggle with Crohn’s Disease. Musically, the band has settled on releasing a string of EPs, with the latest being last month’s Coloring Book. For this tour, the band will be doing two shows and performing Worship and Tribute in it entirety. —MF Summer of Synn w/Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell) @ Center Island Sports Booga Sugar @ Stephen Talkhouse Howard Jones Live

@ Paramount Vattnet Viskar/ Chrome Waves/ Satan’s Satyrs/The Year is One @ St. Vitus Tangerine Dream @ Best Buy Theater Howard Jones @ The Paramount January Jane/Kid Felix/ Ben Wilhelm @ Knitting Factory Steve Tyrell @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center Having gotten his start as an 18-yearold staff member at Scepter Records in the late ’60s and having worked directly with the label’s most prominent artists—Burt Bacharach and Dionne Warwick—Tyrell enjoyed a second act as a 50-something vocalist who caught a break after singing “The Way You Look Tonight” for the 1991 Father of the Bride film remake. Tyrell has returned to his roots with the recently released I’ll Take Romance, a col-

lection of songs heavy on Great American Songbook numbers in addition to cuts originally recorded by Etta James, Sam Cooke and The Supremes. –MF The Soft White Sixties/The Young Things/Raccoon Fighter/The Head @ Webster Hall Long Beach Waterfront Warriors fundraiser @ Inn at 943 West Beech Street Dustin Diamond ’90s Night @ Nutty Irishman, Farmingdale Blade @ Knitting Factory Born Again Baldwins @ Stephen Talkhouse Funny Man Show @ Caumsett State Park Fireworks/Demolition Derby @ Riverhead Raceway Dan Naturman @ Governor’s Frankie Valli & The

L.A. Guns/Electric Black Horse/Strota-

RIPE ART

bestof.longisslaandpreesss.coom

Retablos are a sophisticated Andean folk art using portable boxes to depict religious, historical, or everyday events that are important to the people who revere them. Long Island artist Doris Rowe describes the finishes on her retablos as “shiny dots, circles, metallic powders of copper, gold, and silver support the notion that we live in a vast and unending nebula.” Open the doors—witness her angst and resolve—in a little dress made by an artist who has long been “mad as hell” and frustrated by unsolvable political issues like pollution, the Patriot Act, war, dishonesty and malingering cultural bias. Close the doors and shutter away from the myriad of daily quibbles. This body of work asks whether printed matter, when combined with non-traditional mediums, gathers more clarity and strength than when presented separately. Rowe has spent the past 20 years studying digital drawing. The show opens at Greenlawn’s Ripe Art Gallery Saturday, 7.14 from 2-5 p.m. with Rowe on hand to discuss her work, and will be on display through Friday, 8.3. —Daphne Livingston

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 32

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Four Seasons with The Jetsetters @ Dix Hills Performing Arts Center Long Ireland Pipe & Drums Irish Music & Beer Fest @ Long Ireland Brewery Rodriguez @ Stephen Talkhouse

Tangerine Dream @ Best Buy Theater Howard Jones @ The Paramount Scorpions/Queensryche @ Nikon @ Jones Beach Theater Mike Viola @ Joe’s

Pub Joseph Arthur & David Berkeley @ City Winery TAB the Band @ Mercury Lounge Monsters of Mock @ Brookhaven Amphitheater

Jarred Solinski @ Mr. Beery’s The Duprees’ 50th Anniversary @ Eisenhower Park Chip Byrant Silent Vaudevillian Clown Continued on page 32

RETRO-REVIEW

Glassjaw Worship and Tribute

Released in July of 2002, the album continues to be one of the most acclaimed and influential records amongst fans and critics alike. Now, the post-hardcore fourpiece from Long Island looks to show fans their appreciation by playing the album that helped rethink, reshape and expand the boundaries of the genre at Irving Plaza. Worship and Tribute wastes no time in engaging its listeners as the opening track, “Tip Your Bartender,” delivers a solid hook draped in heavy guitar riffs and syncopated rhythms. Though this description can be applied for just about every song on this release, Glassjaw never settles into a formulaic pattern. Instead, they cover a range of musical styles that includes a number of musical influences ranging from hardcore and metal to indie/alternative and pop rock. This is demonstrated throughout a number of tracks. “Ape Dos Mil” and “Pink Roses” find steadier footing in repressed instrumentation and cleaner vocals, while “Mu Empire” and “Radio Cambodia” are full-on assaults. With an eclectic approach, each song delicately melds influences without becoming jarring. Though the sonic assaults can get a little unnerving at times, singer/front man Daryl Palumbo provides smooth melody, which ultimately brings a steadiness to each track. Palumbo’s vocal style is one of the most memorable aspects of this record. The singer finds a unique dynamic as he tiptoes between smooth and boisterous clean vocals and guttural screaming fits. Although screaming has become a

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Call Now for a full program list! or Text tryusNY to 94576 bigger part of music over the last decade, Palumbo’s approach comes across as being both vital and authentic. The greatest strength of Worship and Tribute is not hinged on one person, instrument, or any other singularity. Instead, it lies with the band’s cohesiveness. Each element helps to build on the other, and the result is a truly layered body of work with an unquestionably honest approach. More often than not, themes in both lyrics and instrumentation are recycled and reproduced. This record showed (and continues to show) listeners how to break out of that mold. Worship and Tribute is the most classic album you’ve never heard of. But while it may not be remembered with the greats of bands past, this record helped shape and define music for a new generation. With only one record (and one EP) prior, Glassjaw shred the curse of the “sophomore slump,” and deliver one of the most intriguing and memorable records this side of the 2000s. Saturday, 7.7 & Sunday 7.8 @ Irving Plaza —Michael Ventimiglia

866.948.8333 sbmelville.edu sanfordbrown.edu

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Career education 176495–07/11. Programs vary by location. Find disclosures on graduation rates, student financial obligations and more at www. sbmelville.edu/disclosures or www.sanfordbrown.edu/disclosures Sanford-Brown Institute is licensed by the New York State Education Department. Credits earned are unlikely to transfer. Sanford-Brown cannot guarantee employment or salary. SBI Campus – an affiliate of Sanford-Brown, is authorized by the Board of Regents of New York State. Programs offered at SBI Campus are registered by the Office of Colleges and Universities of NYSED.

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Do This Continued from page 31 /////////////////////

@ Heckscher Park Memphis Crawl @ Katie’s of Smithtown Loaded Showcase @ Vibe Lounge sunday 7.8 Scars on 45 @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center Lynyrd Skynyrd @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury, Along with the Allman Brothers, Lynyrd Skynyrd put Southern rock on the map (and “Freebird” on many classic rock playlists). While the 1977 plane crash essentially grounded the band until remnants picked up the pieces in the late ’80s, guitarist Gary Rossington remains the sole founding member. (Not including Rickey Medlocke, who grew up with but was never an official member of Skynyrd in the early days.) Still recording, the band is taking to

the road in support of the forthcoming Last of a Dying Breed, the band’s first album since 2009’s Gods & Guns. —MF

Ari Hest @ Stephen Talkhouse Can Jam Sunday @ Loyal Dog Ale House Robert Austin Magic Show @ Sunken Meadow State Park One Love @ Revolution, Last NY show for 2012. Musiq @ B.B. King Blues Club Deutsch Nepal/Bain Wolfkind/Kama Rupa @ St. Vitus Chris Isaak @ The Paramount, Chris Isaak has the kind of good looks and charm that make guys and gals want to hang with him for different reasons. That said, the “Wicked Games” sing-

Nassau County

Bellmore Movies—222 Pettit Ave., Bellmore Brokerage Comedy Club—2797 Merrick Rd, Bellmore. 516-785-8655. www.brokeragecomedy. com Caumsett State Park— Lloyd Harbor

Old Westbury Gardens—71 Old Westbury Rd., Old Westbury. 516333-0048. www.oldwestburygardens.org Revolution—140 Merrick Rd., Amityville. 516-2086590. www.revolutionli. com

DJ Night @ Stephen Talkhouse

Tour @ Huntington Lighthouse

Donavon Frankenreiter with opener Rayland Baxter @ Stephen Talkhouse

South Asian-American night @ Eisenhower Park

Landmark on Main Street— 232 Main St., Port Washington. 516-7676444. www.landmarkonmainstreet.org

Book Revue—313 New York Ave., Huntington. 631-271-1442. www. bookrevue.com

Club—1627 Smithtown Ave., Bohemia. 631-4675413. www.mcguirescomedyshows.com Nova’s Ark—30 Millstone Rd., Water Mill Paramount—370 New York Ave., Huntington

Riverhead Raceway—1797 Old Country Rd., Riverhead Sinclair’s Pub—419 Great East Neck Rd, West Babylon

Stephen Talkhouse—61 Main St., Amagansett. 631-267-3117. www.steCenter Island Sports—101 phentalkhouse.com Mr. Beery’s—4019 Hemp- Union Ave., Ronkonkoma Sunken Meadow State stead Tpke., Bethpage. Cinema Arts Centre—423 Park—North end of 516-731-9579. www. Sunken Meadow Parkway, Park Ave., Huntington mrbeerys.com Kings Park 631-423-FILM. www.cinMulcahy’s—3232 Railroad emaartscentre.org Suffolk Community Ave., Wantagh. 516-783Dix Hills Performing Arts College, Ammerman 7500. www.muls.com Campus—533 College Rd., Center—305 N. Service Selden Nassau Coliseum—1255 Rd., Dix Hills. 631-656Hempstead Tpke., Union- 2148. www.dhpac.org Theatre Three—412 Main dale. 631-920-1203. www. Heckscher Park—164 W. St., Port Jefferson nassaucoliseum.com Main St., Huntington Westhampton Beach PerNikon @ Jones Beach forming Arts Center—76 Katie’s of SmithTheater—1000 Ocean Main St., Westhampton town—145 W. Main St., Pkwy., Wantagh. www. Beach. 631-288-1500. Smithtown. 631-360jonesbeach.com www.whbpac.org 8556. www.katiesofsmithtown.com Nutty Irishman FarmManhattan ingdale—323 Main St., Long Ireland BrewFarmingdale. 516-293B.B. Kings Blues Club ery—817 Pulaski St., 9700. www.thenuttyirish- Riverhead & Grill—237 West 42nd man.com St. 212-997-4144. www. Loyal Dog—288 E. Monbbkingblues.com NYCB Theatre at Westtauk Hwy., Lindenhurst. bury—960 Brush Hollow 631-225-1535. www.the- Best Buy Theater—1515 Rd., Westbury. 877-598Broadway. 212-930-1950. loyaldogalehouse.com 8694. www.thetheatreatwww.bestbuytheater.com westbury.com McGuire’s Comedy Bowery Ballroom—6

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Jim Breuer @ Governor’s, Also 7.10.

Sunday Night Fun-

Suffolk County Bay Street Theatre—The Long Wharf, Sag Harbor. 631-725-9500. www. baystreet.org

German-American Night @ Eisenhower Park

Cross Island Trio @ Old Westbury Gardens

Ripe Art Gallery—67A Broadway, Greenlawn. www.ripeartgal.com

Governor’s Comedy Club—90 Division Ave., Levittown. 516-731-3358. www.govs.com

monday 7.9 Dirty Projectors @ Music Hall of Williamsburg, With Dustin Wong. An exclusive live stream on YouTube. Also 7.10 @ Celebrate Brooklyn @ Prospect Park.

10,000 Maniacs @ City Winery, Also 7.9.

Port Jefferson Brewing Company—22 Mill Creek Rd., Port Jefferson. www. portjeffbrewing.com

Adventureland—Route 110, Farmingdale

Anthony V. Curto Book Signing (The Time for Justice) @ Book Revue

God Mode/Big Fiction/Spacebeach/ Human Toilet @ St. Vitus

Vibe Lounge—60 N. Park Ave., Rockville Centre. 516-208-6590. www. vibeloungeli.com

Eisenhower Park—Hempstead Turnpike, East Meadow

The Majestic Band @ Stephen Talkhouse

Caribbean Beach Festival @ Nikon @ Jones Beach Theater

Where it’s At Do This Venue Information Baldwin Public Library—2385 Grand Ave., Baldwin

nies @ Governor’s & Brokerage

er is a genuinely nice guy known to hang out after shows signing autographs in the lobby. The Californian’s good karma is only exceeded by awesome showmanship fueled by equal parts croon and rockabilly-flavored raucousness that often leads to his bounding into the audience with his saxophonist in tow. Touring behind last year’s Beyond the Sun, a collection of songs recorded by Sun Records artists, Isaak will be time-tripping into an era he would have fit perfectly into. —MF

f e at u r e s

Delancey St. 212-5332111. www.boweryballroom.com City Winery—155 Varick St. 212-608-0555. www. citywinery.com Gramercy Theatre—127 E. 23rd St. 212-777-6800. www.thegramercytheatre. com Highline Ballroom—431 W. 16th St. 212-414-5994. www.highlineballroom.com Irving Plaza—17 Irving Pl. 212-777-6800. www. irvingplaza.com Joe’s Pub—425 Lafayette St. 212-539-8778. www. joespub.com Mercury Lounge—217 E. Houston St. 212-2604700. www.mercuryloungenyc.com Rockefeller Plaza— Between West 48th Street and West 51st Street and 5th and 6th Avenues. Terminal 5—610 W. 56th St. 212-582-6600. www. terminal5nyc.com Webster Hall—125 E 11th St. 212-353-1600. www. websterhall.com

Brooklyn Bell House—149 Seventh St. 718-643-6510. www. thebellhouseny.com Brooklyn Bowl—61 Wythe Ave. 718-963-3369. www. brooklynbowl.com Knitting Factory—361 Metropolitan Ave. 347529-6696. www.knittingfactory.com Music Hall of Williamsburg—66 N. Sixth St. 212-486-5400. www.musichallofwilliamsburg.com Prospect Park—Prospect Park West @ Ninth Street. www.prospectpark.org St. Vitus—1120 Manhattan Ave. www.saintvitusbar.com

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This is Spinal Tap @ Bay Street Theatre

Reunion Show @ Revolution

tuesday 7.10 Owl City @ Bowery Ballroom, Yet another artist whose career got a major boost from YouTube postings, Owl City is essentially multi-instrumentalist/ composer Adam Young. A bout with insomnia led to Young dabbling with computers and keyboards in his parents’ basement. The Minnesota native quickly saw this initial experimentation blossom into a full-blown pop career that has led to this current tour in support of his new EP, Shooting Star.—MF

Rakel @ Knitting Factory

Cult War/Through Thorn and Briar @ St. Vitus Neon Trees @ Webster Hall I Wish @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, Through 7.12. DOSVEC @ Knitting Factory

Harlem Renaissance Orchestra @ Old Westbury Gardens Jim Turner Band @ Stephen Talkhouse Woodyfest: Celebration of Woody Guthrie’s 100th Birthday @ City Winery, Hosted by Steve Earle with special guests John Hammond, Jr., Tim Robbins, Rachael Yamagata, The Wood Brothers, Allen Toussaint, Billy Bragg, Amy Helm and Joe Purdy. See website for more details. Through 7.13. Sing Your Song w/ Gina Belafonte @ Cinema Arts Centre Kid’s Daytime Comedy Show @ Governor’s Funk Applied @ Port Jeff Brewing Company Kayo Dot/Mossenek/MV Carbon @ St. Vitus

Brittany Barron Blood Drive for Aplastic Anemia @ Landmark on Main Street

America @ B.B. King Blues Club

1-2-3 Taco Tuesday @ Mulcahy’s

Los Lobos @ Brooklyn Bowl

Dirty Projectors @ Prospect Park

thursday 7.12 Daniel Smith Book Signing (Monkey Mind) @ Book Revue

Little Head Thinks @ Stephen Talkhouse Stand-Up U Grad Show @ Brokerage

You Scream I Scream @ Knitting Factory

Montauk Project @ Stephen Talkhouse

New York Funk Exchange @ Revolution

Tuesday Night at the Movies @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center

Inda Eaton @ Stephen Talkhouse

wednesday 7.11 Ace Frehley @ Best Buy Theater, What the Velvet Underground was to a legion of indie rock bands, Ace Frehley was to a generation of guitar players, thanks to his contributions to seminal Kiss albums like Alive and Hotter Than Hell. While Frehley’s last solo outing was 2009’s Anomaly, 2011 is turning out to be the year of Space Ace. While a spot on a reality show with former bandmates Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and Peter Criss is reportedly in the offering for the Bronx native, that may change with the release of his 2011 book, No Regrets: A Rock ‘N Roll Memoir. With Cashmier. —MF Hot Talent Show @ Adventureland

ArtHamptons Opens @ Nova’s Ark Celebrating the centennial birthday of Hamptons’ painter Jackson Pollack, showcasing 4,000 modern, post-modern and contemporary works, 400 respected artists and 65 prominent galleries from around the world. With Cheech Marin. Through 7.15. Joe Delia & Thieves @ Stephen Talkhouse Great Long Island Laugh-Off 2012 Semifinals @ Governor’s. Chris Smither & the Motivators @ Highline Ballroom The English Beat @ Bell House Josh Turner @ Best Buy Theater

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Movies By Prairie Miller

7 Emma Stone Seven Questions With

Amazing Spider-Man’s Emma Stone had quite a lot to say about the subject of being swept off her feet during this conversation, and she wasn’t exactly talking about sky diving, simulated or unsimulated, with her designated leading guy Andrew Garfield in The Amazing SpiderMan. It was actually all about unlearning and relearning first love as her character Gwen, iconic kisses and thigh-highs, and a special boy/girl feeling she basically describes as “that uncomfortable ugh.”

1. So why The Amazing Spider-Man? I always wanted to play Mary Jane. I thought Mary Jane was so great. Then I got a call and they said, “We’d like to you audition for the part of Gwen Stacy.” And I was like, ugh. I don’t know who Gwen Stacy is! Because I hadn’t read the comic books growing up. But then I looked into the story of Gwen, and I just fell in love with her story. Because it is so incredibly epic and tragic. And Andrew is one of the best actors I’ve ever worked with. And I instantly knew how much I could learn from him. And that really, really drew me to, you know, that challenge. 2. What was it like being in love in this movie? This kinda swept me off my feet. And I wanted to experience that feeling of first love. Before you know what it’s like to get your heart completely shattered. You know, that life or death love, where you’re like: I know what love is! Um, so I wanted to feel that again. You know, I wanted to unlearn. And go from the very beginning of “oh my god!” There’s an attraction to another human being. And in a way that I never felt before. And, what is this! You know, that uncomfortable ugh! I wanted to feel that again. So it was a matter of unlearning, and really becoming seventeen again. And then just letting yourself be seventeen in those moments. It’s fun; you should try it! It’s really cool. It’s pretty cool to feel that way. Again! 3. What do you think is the wow factor about Spider-man, as a female? Well, he’s the only teenage superhero, which is major. So you can relate to him. Not to mention, he’s bullied. Which is huge, for a girl or a boy. And the fact that he is bitten 34

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by a spider, in this kind of wish fulfillment thing—that he’s able to fight back against the bullies when he wasn’t able to before— is symbolism for kids. You know, they have so much power within them. To speak out, and to stand up for themselves. To stay unique, and to stay true to who they are. As Peter does. So yeah, I think that’s probably why it’s so resonant. And has been for fifty years. And will continue to be. 4. How about those iconic thighhighs of yours in the movie? Obviously, I’m a lot less voluptuous than Gwen, unfortunately! So...It didn’t really go to those heights! Ha! But you know, the signature headband, and the thigh-highs, all of that, was important to stay present. And right down to the hair and makeup, we really tried to attain that as well. But keep her realistic, and still keep her, you know, earthbound. And I’m by no means a supermodel and like an unattainable person. So that element of Gwen was a bit different than the comic books. 5. What was a favorite scene? Um...Where we’re asking each other out, but not! And then that awful scene, where I have to keep my dad out of my room when Andrew was in there with me. You know, when you give me an inch, it’s not good! And so I was like, what is the one thing that would keep a dad out of his teenage daughter’s room? Anything related to hormones! That’s gonna be—I knew in an instant, from my own life experience! That you can be like, sorry, “I know, okay! I’ll let you go.” Dads don’t want to talk about that! 6. What’s the strangest thing about making a big 3-D movie like this one? “This” feels different! Talking to the press feels different. It really strikes you that you’re in Spider-Man! Yeah. 7. And were you really rigged up for all that swinging up high? Yeah, yeah. We swung. We were swinging! That was awesome. I really loved it, yeah. Thankfully, I’m not afraid of heights or that would have been horrific. It would have been awful, actually. Because you’re so out of control. But no, I loved it. Other than the bruising, I loved it. Harnesses bruise! Yikes.

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Crossword RECREATION PROCLAMATION ACROSS 1 Ladd or Lane 6 Host a roast 11 Kipling novel 14 Social worker? 17 Conductor Dorati 18 In a perfect world 20 Slangy suffix 21 Norm 22 Start of a remark by 117 Across 24 Northwestern capital 26 “- Day Now” (‘62 hit) 27 Stallion’s son 28 Pom’s perch 30 - laugh 31 Hound’s handle 32 Torah, e.g. 36 ‘92 US Open champ 37 What you’ve gotta have 40 Acquire 42 Harden 44 - Romeo 45 Spring holiday 47 Side by side 51 Part 2 of remark 55 Lamb product 57 Vane dir. 58 - -tzu 59 Boiling 60 West African port 61 Like - of bricks 62 Austerity 64 Austen hero 66 German mark? 68 Sierra -, CA 70 All wet 74 Terra firma

75 Is useful 77 Author Potok 78 Column style 80 Claim 81 Problem for Pauline 83 Fernando or Lorenzo 85 Rocker Nugent 88 Herriot title start 89 “Odyssey” enticer 90 End of remark 93 17 Across’ title 95 “The - Kid” (‘84 film) 97 Orthodox image 98 Pants measurement 100 Study 102 Stick one’s neck out 103 Sportscaster Musberger 105 Classical hunk? 107 Shopper’s delight 109 - in (tipped off) 110 Shuffleboard stick 111 TV’s “- Living” 112 Hum bug? 115 More eminent 117 Speaker of remark 123 Hosp. area 124 Erwin or Gilliam 125 She handed Theseus a line 126 Break off 127 Endorses 128 Cast a spell 129 Trepidation 130 Neighbor of Oman

DOWN 1 Comic Carvey 2 Privy to 3 Part of DA 4 Uh-uh 5 Draw forth 6 Touch up the text 7 Big boys 8 Baseball’s Ripken 9 Ransom - Olds 10 Brownie, for one 11 Former surgeon general 12 Unwell 13 Andy’s area 14 Tell’s target 15 They get hit on their heads 16 Hors d’oeuvre holder 18 Northern hemisphere? 19 Scream 23 Start to snooze 25 Free-for-all 29 “The Greatest” 31 Munich Mrs. 32 Iowa, e.g. 33 “The Man in Black” 34 Formal ceremony 35 Like-minded 36 Forester or Outback 37 Rain hard? 38 Lohengrin’s love 39 Priced right 41 Leonine Lahr 43 Highflying agcy. 46 Show one’s feelings 48 Penguins’ place

49 Newfoundland’s nose 50 Fractional amount

LEAGUE FOR ANIMAL PROTECTION

52 Actor Bruce 53 To and 54 Galley features 56 - terrier

60 Pharmacy measure 61 Jai 63 Spring flower

Sudoku

of Huntington, Inc.

Dear Ms. Matchmaker, a 4 year old, My name is Sophia. I am for love. Can ing look sing le white female h I may not win you please help me? Thoug cute and have a beauty pag ent, I’m darn I’m told make many lovely qualities that ndly, active, frie me a great catch. I am like to go ple, peo get along well with for swims go , ball play for walks, love to ase don’t (Ple le! smi ning and I have a win I was burying mind the dirt on my nose, children and my toy.) I don’t mind older sins. Yet I cou I love to play with canine ile all of wh d ke continually get overloo h wit on ve mo my dog gie friends d tire I’m s. love nd their newfou ly bab pro I it, adm I ly! of being lone ss Mi need to check in with to es com Manners, but when it a I’m ion, ect giving love and aff the find me p hel pro. If you can l the love of my life, please cal ! you ank Th ow. bel number XOXO,

64 Twofold 65 Paul’s “Exodus” role 67 The Brainy Bunch? 68 Lady of the house 69 Spanish city 71 Farm measure 72 Use one’s noodle 73 Tiny coin 76 Elan 79 Lummox 82 Desire deified 83 Yoga position 84 Pub orders 86 North Carolina campus 87 Unit of force 89 Plymouth leader 90 Small songbird 91 Mata 92 Swampland 94 Like Sauternes 96 Mil. address 99 Sweater letter

101 Cosmetician Lauder 102 “Patriot Games” author 103 Thwart a blitz 104 Sewell of “A Knight’s Tale” 106 - vu 108 “Do - say, not . . .” 109 Commercial award 110 Pivotal point 111 Ain’t right? 112 Put on a happy face 113 In addition 114 Genesis setting 116 When the French fry 118 Significant years 119 - Tin Tin 120 “- Doll” (‘64 hit) 121 Fabric amts. 122 Charge

Last Week’s Answers

Sophia

631-757-9373 or dogs@LAPHuntington.org www.LAPHuntington.org 38

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