Volume 10, Issue 09 - Kerouac

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Sound Smart at a Party A Planned Parenthood branch has decided to make a safe sex FourSquare of sorts. They’ve released condom packages that allow users to scan a bar code and report where and when they used the rubbers. Their conquests will then show up at www.wheredidyouwearit.com. You may think that no one would do that, but think about how much people overshare on Facebook. Plus, the proof is in the pudding. A map on the site shows that condoms distributed on different Washington State college campuses the week of Valentine’s Day have already fulfilled their function in 48 states and six continents…

had the cat not reacted so quickly. Then he had her register Pudding as a therapy animal…

According to a new study, it may be healthier for insomniacs to watch reruns of The Nanny at 2:30 a.m. than to take sleeping pills. Researchers looked at the medical A popular new sport in Finland records of more than 10,500 Pennsylva- involves an everyday machine we nia adults taking commonly prescribed use to keep our lawn neat: a lawn sleeping pills and compared them to mower. No, they don’t compete to see

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who can trim grass the best; it’s cooler than that. Ice lawn mower racing takes the British sport of lawn mower racing and puts it on ice. The object is to ride a lawn mower around a 1968 foot-track and complete as many laps as possible in the time-span of three hours. The sport was part of the country’s third annual Winter Grand Prix, and quickly became the favorite event. Teams from England, Estonia and Luxembourg faced the local team during the competition, with Estonia eventually coming out on top with 136 laps…

“I think art is often misunderstood in the realm of religion, and it’s OK. In America, it’s a lot different. Art is also misunderstood but it is not such a harsh gesture to promote the names of God. I am learning and understanding about Islam in other countries more as we travel.”

Speaking of pudding, a cat named Pudding saved the life of his owner just hours after he adopted her (cat owners know that’s the way it really goes). Wisconsin woman Amy Jung made an on-the-spot decision to adopt the 21-pound ball of fur from a local animal shelter as soon as she saw him. That night Jung had a diabetic seizure in bed, and the 8-year-old cat sprung into action to become woman’s best lifesaver. Pudding woke her up by swatting her face and biting her nose, and once she was able to yell out for help, he ran to her son’s room and woke him up. Jung’s doctor said that she would have gone into a coma and died

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those of 23,600 adults of similar backgrounds who did not take anything. They found that individuals who took between 18 to 132 doses of the pills per year were 4.6 times likelier to die prematurely than those who took none. It was also suggested that sleeping pills could create a 35 percent increased risk of cancer…

—singer Erykah Badu during a press conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on Feb. 29, 2012. Muslim-majority Malaysia had banned a planned concert by Badu after they deemed a photograph showing the Grammy-winning singer with the Arabic word for Allah written on her body offensive. (AP Photo/Lai Seng Sin)

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Cover Story Update

Press Article Results In Indictments For Top Nassau Cops By Shelly Feuer Domash and Christopher Twarowski chris@longislandpress.com

A March 31, 2011 Long Island Press cover story titled “Membership Has Its Privileges: Is NCPD Selling Preferential Treatment” has resulted in the indictments of three top Nassau County police officials by the Nassau County District Attorney’s Office— one of those indicted being the county’s third-highest ranking cop— according to multiple sources. Second Deputy Commissioner William Flanagan, Deputy Chief of Patrol John Hunter and retired Nassau County Police Department Detective Sergeant Al Sharpe are expected to be charged, say sources, for their role in squashing a May 2009 break-in at Bellmore’s John F. Kennedy High School in which more than $3,000 worth of electronic equipment was allegedly stolen. That incident and the thwarting of its subsequent police investigation were featured in the Press article, along with the allegation from “detectives and officers involved in the case” that “calls from the commissioner’s office were made and police officers were pressured not to make an arrest, despite knowing the perpetrator,” it states. That perpetrator, Zachary Parker, 20, of Merrick, whose name was kept out of the initial article but included in an October 20 follow-up titled “Press Article Sparks Investigation, Arrest,” is the son of Gary Parker, an associate of the nonprofit Nassau County Police Department Foundation, the Press reported. Zachary Parker was indicted by a grand jury

on three felony counts related to the incident and charged with burglary, grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property following an investigation by the Nassau District Attorney’s Office sparked by the March article. “Police officers and detectives involved with the case have told the Press they were upset by the outcome but could do nothing as they allege that the orders came down from thenCommissioner Lawrence Mulvey’s office not to make an arrest,” the October story reads. Then-Commissioner Mulvey retired from office the day after the Press’ March 31 story. The Press will publish a more detailed expose on the most recent events surrounding the police department and the nonprofit Nassau County Police Department Foundation in next week’s issue.

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C Ex h pr ec ess ko ut

The Target Apple

DWTS

w The Do

Pink Slip

Apple—partial score The technology giant will hold an event next Wednesday in San Francisco, during which it is expected they will announce the launch of the third generation iPad. It’s about time they upgraded—we got an iPad 2 for Christmas and we’ve almost figured out how to use the thing already!

Major League Baseball So here we are: Spring Training is just getting underway, fantasy drafts will start getting serious in the next few weeks, and in a little more than a month, we’ll be watching games that count. Of course baseball is the topic of conversation! And somehow, the primary theme of that conversation is not the Yankees’ new starting rotation or the Mets rebuilding strategy but…PEDs. Of course. Last December, it was discovered that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder and reigning National League MVP Ryan Braun tested positive for an “illegal substance” (astonishingly high levels of synthetic testosterone). Braun and the players’ union disputed the veracity of the findings, appealed the ruling against him, and won. On a technicality. There was a break in the chain of custody, Braun’s positive urine sample was deemed inadmissible, and the case against him was thrown out. OK, fine. Right? Not quite. Somehow, MLB has made a villain of Braun. Instead of admitting their mistake, MLB has come out against the arbitrators who found in favor of Braun. This is self-destructive behavior: Braun is one of the faces of baseball—MLB should be jubilant that his suspension was overturned. Yet it continues to cast suspicion on the player in a disgusting attempt to assert control over the union. The hypocrisy is nothing new—MLB famously cast a blind eye on steroids when bulky sluggers were pulling the game out of its post-strike dip in popularity, and then vilified its biggest stars, Barry Bonds (a multiple MVP award-winner) and Roger Clemens (a multiple Cy Young award-winner) when salaries began to rise beyond the comfort levels of owners (who were still paying to the players a tiny fraction of overall earnings). Dear MLB: Ryan Braun is the reason we watch baseball. And yes, we’re going to watch. But if you keep this up… Oh forget it—we’re not going to make THAT mistake again. It’s been way more than three strikes. You’re outta here!

NFL

GOP

The Dow—bull’s eye On Tuesday, Feb. 28, the Dow closed at 13,005.12, up 23.61 points for the s w day—the first time it has closed above 13,000 since Windo May 19, 2008. Ah, 2008…back then we had such youthful ambitions, a full head of hair…and a hell of a lot more money!

DWTS—off target The new Dancing With the Stars lineup— featuring Jaleel White (TV’s Urkel), singer Gavin DeGraw, Melissa Gilbert of Little House on the Prairie and tennis great Martina Navratilova—is being widely criticized by fans of the show for lacking compelling personalities. Not compelling? How dare they say that about someone as charismatic and exciting as Gavin DeGraw! GOP—off target Heading into Super Tuesday, the remaining Republican presidential candidates—Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul—have resorted to melodrama and mudslinging to win primary votes, yet there remains no clear leader in the pack. OK, so which is less compelling: the GOP presidential candidates or the new cast of Dancing With the Stars? Windows—partial score Microsoft has unveiled a beta version of its new Windows 8 operating system, on which hinges the future of the company, according to many analysts. The very same week Apple announces a new iPad?! Why, this is so…pathetic! NFL—bull’s eye The NFL’s 2012 season-opening kickoff game will be played a day earlier than originally scheduled—on Wednesday, Sept. 5 instead of Thursday, Sept. 6—to avoid conflicting with President Obama’s Thursday night speech at the Democratic National Convention. So football is starting early this year? Because of the President? Message to the GOP candidates: This is how you win votes.

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The Quote

“It would be a big fire, I assure you.”

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—Well-coiffed Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, following up a statement in which he told reporters, “I’m not willing to light my hair on fire to try and get support. I am who I am.”

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The Photo

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Yoga teacher Kyoko Katsura demonstrates handstand scorpion, one of the poses that could be seen during the National Yoga Asana Championships in New York, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2012. Katsura will be competing in the national competition, which will take place from March 2-4 in New York City. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

The Equation

Best Screenplay?

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Best Supporting Actress?!

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The number of students killed or injured after being shot by 17-year-old T.J. Lane at Ohio’s Chardon High School on Feb. 27. As of press time, three of the five victims are dead.

Best Supporting Actor?!?

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Best Actress?!?!

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Best…Everything Else?!?!? News

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We saw more of Angelina Jolie’s leg than we did of any of the terrible movies that actually won Oscars!

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3. GOOGLE “AMITYVILLE HORROR SECOND GUN FOUND”: The house notorious for its alleged green oozing walls, demonic voices and red-eyed flying pigs is back in the news, but not for either of those reasons. Divers hired by a documentary film crew recently found a gun in the canal behind the infamous Amityville Horror house, adding to the suspicion that Ronald “Butch” Defeo did not act alone in killing his family nearly 40 years ago.

4. BUY PEEPS POPS: It’s that time of year again. Yes, Easter and Passover, but more importantly, it’s Peeps season. It’s the time when Peeps hit the shelves in all their shapes and colors at the peak of freshness. And every year, we can always look forward to something new from the company. This year, it’s a box of multi-colored peeps skewered kebab-style on a stick. Really, it just doesn’t get better than that. In fact, we recommend stocking up on these bad boys and bringing them with you for No. 9 on our list. 5. SHAVE YOUR HEAD: It’s March, which means bagels are green, beer mugs runneth over, leprechauns roam the Island and hundreds shave their heads—not just because they had a few too many. The world’s largest volunteer-driven fundraising program for childhood cancer research, the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, has raised more than $117 million for research, and each bald head is a walking billboard for the cause. Find an event near you at www.stbaldericks.org.

6. BUY GIANT GLIDING BALLOONS AT PARTY CITY: What’s better than a balloon? A life-sized giant balloon. What’s better than a life-sized giant balloon? A life-sized giant balloon with weights on its feet that will follow you around the house! That’s right. The latest trend in the balloon world includes a giant SpongeBob, Buzz Lightyear, Tweety, Hello Kitty, Mickey Mouse, Elmo and plenty of others that will scare the hell out of your birthday buddy when they open up the door on their special day. 7. DOWNLOAD POCKETBRACKET 2012: Looking forward to March Madness? Well, there’s an app for that. PockeetBracket 2012 allows users to create unlimited NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament brackets, organize pools, and follow games on their mobile devices. The app features automatic real time scoring and ranking, plus live chats. While the 2012 data won’t be available till March 11 at 8:15 p.m., the app comes preloaded with sample data so you can take it for a spin before the tournament starts. 8. YOUTUBE “SOPHIA GRACE NICKI MINAJ”: If you think Nicki Minaj’s lightning speed rapping is impressive, wait till you see her pint-sized Mini-Me in action. Check out eight-year-old viral sensation Sophia Grace and her 5-yearold sidekick Rosie as they perform Nicki’s greatest hits. 9. attend THE CHOCOLATE WORLD EXPO: If you’ve ever fantasized about chocolate salad dressing, chocolate-covered bacon and chocolate-dipped pickles—or perhaps M&Ms and chocolate-drizzled strawberries—this is the place where dreams come true. On March 4, the Cradle of Aviation peddles the strange and delicious, and it’s all covered in chocolate. Don’t forget your Peeps! 10. CELEBRATE DR. SEUSS’ BIRTHDAY: Celebrate the genius who didn’t believe in straight lines on March 2 with a screening of The Lorax in IMAX Tree-D. Then stop by IHOP for some green eggs and ham! It’s part of the Lorax Breakfast, a limited-time offering which also includes Truffula Chip Pancakes and Rooty Tooty Bar-Ba-Looty Blueberry Cone Cake, in honor of Dr. Seuss. News

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2. MEET KRISTI YAMAGUCHI: Meet the figure skater who’s never beaten anyone with a golf club, gotten a DWI or gone batshiz crazy at Book Revue in Huntington March 7. The Olympic gold medalist turned best selling author (and Dancing with the Stars winner) is signing her children’s book, Dream Big, Little Pig at 7 p.m.

The Rundown

1. FOLLOW @ANGIESRIGHTLEG: Look out Bronx Zoo Cobra and leg lamps everywhere, Angelina Jolie’s leg has spawned a Twitter account and tons of Internet “legbombing” memes after the actress flashed it through a slit in her Versace gown during the Oscars Sunday night. Her leg already has more than 30,000 followers, but it doesn’t end there. Internet pranksters have already digitally transplanted the leg on everyone from the Statue of Liberty to Queen Elizabeth—even Jeremy Lin. Just Google Image “legbombing.”

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The Book How the Mistakes Were Made By Tyler McMahon With a name like Laura Loss, you can guess that your narrator is probably a badass. In Tyler McMahon’s debut novel, How the Mistakes Were Made, Loss becomes the center of two bands that define generations. First: 1980’s D.C, where as a young teenager, she’s the bass player in her brother’s hardcore punk band, SCC. She idolizes her smart and politically minded older brother, and becomes the princess of hardcore–just a young girl in the middle of mosh pits and the vitriolic punk scene. Things take a violent turn when some skinheads beat her brother into a coma; Laura feels betrayed by the scene and the fans that didn’t help. The novel alternates between her past and her present. A decade later and now in her mid-20s, Loss is working in a Seattle coffee shop. She’s tired of the touring life and has just quit her last band when Sean and Nathan, two talented but naive Montana kids who were obsessed with SCC, show up at her door, accepting an offer she doesn’t even remember making. They crash at her apartment and Loss ends up not only joining the band, but bringing her considerable experience to the mix. She also helps to define their sound–a sound that has already been amazingly developed when the boys were just a duo, in large part because of Sean’s synaesthesia, a condition which allows him to see musical notes as colors. The trio call themselves the Mistakes and they take the Seattle grunge scene by storm, rising quickly though the ranks and earning the attention of major labels. Behind the scenes, the Mistakes suffer all of the drama that great bands often do: love triangles, drinking problems, and just being generally unwashed and tired all the time. They become one of the most popular bands in the world and manage to make their downfall as spectacular as their rise. McMahon writes capably in a female voice; while Laura is sometimes unlikable, she’s also very real. How the Mistakes Were Made takes some wonderfully tabloid turns and, while the ending is far from a happy one, it’s hard not to flip the last page and wonder if there’s still time for you to start a band. —Jenn Kane For more of Jenn Kane’s book reviews, go to allreadup.wordpress.com. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

B-List B-Day MARK-PAUL “ZACK MORRIS” GOSSELAAR March 1, 1974 Mark-Paul Gosselaar AKA Zack Morris of Saved by the Bell, is a Pisces, symbolized by two fish. Pisceans are adventurous, daring troublemakers who often end up institutionalized in some form or another, whether it be behind bars—or in detention five days a week. Pisceans tend to live in a fantasy world. During class, Morris can often be seen daydreaming about everything from love interests (Kelly Kapowski) to being famous (lead singer of Zack Attack) or just the simple things—like hanging out at The Max afterschool and carrying around the world’s largest cell phone.

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Off the Reservation BY Jed Morey, Publisher, Long Island press Facebook.com/JedMorey

@JedMorey

That ’70s Show He was a relative unknown when he campaigned for president of an America that was worn down from foreign intervention, a sick economy and Republican rule. His outsider status brought with him a new brand of hope that the media devoured allowing his star to rise quickly and shine brightly. Upon taking the presidency, however, the beleaguered economy stubbornly refused to show signs of life, energy prices rose to troubling levels and the Middle East began to spin wildly out of control. Things were so bad he even had to step in and bail out an American car company with government funds. After only three years, it was all over but for the counting. His star faded quickly as the once-media darling became anathema to an increasingly conservative American public that spent the last year of his term looking for a new “Mr. Right” in every sense. Such was the fate of Jimmy Carter, who never had a shot at re-election; and a good argument can be made that Barack Obama will suffer the same fate under nearly identical circumstances. There is so much involved in the making and unmaking of a president that it’s unfair to boil a career down to only a few factors. But in Jimmy Carter’s case I believe it is fair to say that three primary issues were the undoing of his presidency: the hostage crisis in Iran, stagflation and fuel prices at the pump. Iran wasn’t a military crisis as much as it was an embarrassment to the United States, though talk of a nuclear Iran was percolating even then. Prior meddling in the Middle East came back to haunt us in a situation we couldn’t control, 8

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with Carter ill-equipped to handle the predicament of Americans held hostage in Tehran. Rising oil prices—the result of the Iranian revolution in 1979 and the panic that ensued in the trading markets—brought about a second shortage within a decade and with it hysteria and inflation. This upward pressure from fuel prices in an already inflationary environment spurred the Federal Reserve to begin chasing inflation with high interest rates. In his book Currency Wars, James Rickards addresses the impact of American monetary policy on the global economy and cites the “50 percent decline in the purchasing power of the dollar from 1977 to 1981.” He goes on to depict “a world gone mad,” noting that, “A new term, ‘stagflation,’ was used to describe the unprecedented combination of high inflation and stagnation happening in the United States.” Most people recall the moment when interest rates reached as high as 20 percent during this period and point to it as the height of insanity during the Carter years. In actuality then-Fed Chairman Paul Volcker under Ronald Reagan did this as a one-time shock to the system. It was done in conjunction with vigorous tax cuts to spark consumer spending, a tightening of the monetary policy to strengthen the dollar and the latent effect of increased oil production, both domestic and abroad. With the exception of the tax cuts, these policies and factors would likely have occurred anyway as Volcker was a Carter appointee and it was Carter who loosened the valve on domestic oil production. Furthermore, Reagan would

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go on to reverse many of these initial tax cuts in a way that would make conservatives and Tea Party activists blush today. Either way, Jimmy Carter was a victim of pitiful economic circumstances that will forever be his legacy in the White House. Rickards draws some comparisons between the ’70s and today, most notably deriding Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke’s actions of Quantitative Easing, a fancy name for printing money—the same currency devaluation scheme employed by Nixon—calling them “runaway fiscal and monetary policies, which were flooding the world with dollars and causing global inflation in food and energy prices.” This is an interesting point to hang on for a bit. There is no shortage of theories as to why Americans are finding themselves staring helplessly at rising gas prices, but few of them are real. In fact, much of the prevailing wisdom offered by television pundits is false. It’s not Obama’s refusal to “drill baby drill” or increased demand from China. It’s not Libya or Iran, either. It’s the abundance of liquidity in the markets matched with the ability of investment banks, hedge funds and oil companies to trade energy futures on commodities exchanges without any limits or transparency. And this is the result of 30 years of deregulation beginning with Carter and continuing through Obama. Before the commodities exchanges were deregulated there were few safe places to “park” excess capital during volatile periods. Today these exchanges are the perfect shelters for investors with excess liquidity because many of them are allowed to stand on all sides of the transaction. An investor such as an investment bank or an oil company can be the buyer, seller, broker and manufacturer, and can therefore more easily predict the future behavior of pricing by both forecasting the future price of a commodity it owns while moving the market with enormous capital infusions. It’s more than the ultimate hedge. It’s a scam. With a crisis brewing in Iran, the markets and pundits are once again in a tizzy, and consumers are bracing for the worst. This brings us to what might be the nail in Barack Obama’s coffin: inflation. When fuel prices rise, even for a brief period, it shows up within months in our food and other consumables. It’s a necessary evil in the production of nearly everything we consume on the planet, which is why it’s so utterly dangerous

to leave the process of trading energy futures unregulated. Oil doesn’t have to reach $200 per barrel to destroy any hope of economic recovery and, worse, force mass starvation around the globe. If the price is sustained at $100-plus per barrel without relief while we continue to suppress interest rates and flood the market with the dollar, Bernanke and Co. will have difficulty stemming the natural tide of inflation as it works its way around the globe in the things we buy and the food we eat. Bernanke’s announcement that the Fed will continue to artificially suppress interest rates through 2014 and the government’s steadfast refusal to implement any reasonable regulation in the markets is a self-fulfilling prophecy as investors continue to seek safe harbor for their funds in the only market they have any ability to control. This will prevent any crash in oil prices that would naturally occur, as we witnessed in 2008 when oil hit $147 per barrel then plummeted shortly thereafter. Further fracture in relations with Iran and high oil prices will also crush any hopes the European Union has of recovery. And with the determined stance that austerity is the EU’s chosen path to prosperity, the United States faces the additional problem of having its No. 1 consumer of U.S. exports absolutely cash-strapped and constricting even further. Barack Obama’s re-election hopes are really a matter of timing more than anything because the conclusions above are simply common sense and arithmetic. Any chance he had to calm this gathering storm has already passed, leaving him at the mercy of the global markets, which are teetering on a gigantic bubble. His oratory and confidence are outgunned by a conservative media machine pouring on the pressure by falsely blaming his energy policy for high oil prices and stoking the fire with Iran, thus creating all the necessary traps for his demise. Even if he were able to truly force real change in the oversight of the financial markets, it would spook Wall Street and could incite panic. And any attempt to quiet the saber-rattling between Washington and Tehran would make him appear weak compared to a bloodthirsty slate of GOP opponents. Obama’s only option is to pray the storm doesn’t touch down between now and Nov. 6. If it does, instead of occupying the White House in January, he’ll be building houses with Jimmy Carter, while Mitt Romney tries to figure out where to park all of Anne’s Cadillacs.

to comment on “Off the Reservation” email jed at JMorey@longislandpress.com News

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Raymond Kelly is a great police commissioner. I have no doubt that if he and his fine police department were not around, a number of people who are complaining about him might not be alive to whine. Their grievance? They are complaining that Kelly’s New York Police have extended their surveillance of Muslim communities and are checking on Muslim students, mosque-goers and others throughout the area, including at Yale University in Connecticut. Naturally, the American Civil Liberties Union (where were they on 9/11?) is calling for a probe, and Yale President Richard Levin condemned the reported police action, saying that “surveillance based on religion, nationality or peacefully expressed political opinions are antithetical to the values of Yale.” Here’s a case where one can be president of one of the world’s finest schools and still be a dope when it comes understanding what’s going on in the world around him. Perhaps President Levin might want to check out Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who in 1986 got a degree in mechanical engineering at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University and then went on to become the man who planned the 9/11 attack that killed nearly 3000 Americans. If President Levin thinks a terrorist attending a college in North Carolina is no big deal, perhaps he might be more impressed with a terrorist attending MIT or Brandeis. Take the case of Aafia Siddiqui, who attended Massachusetts Institute of Technology and earned her PhD in neuroscience from Brandeis University in 2001. In May 2004, the FBI named Siddiqui as one of its seven Most Wanted Terrorists in the world. When she was arrested in July 2008 in Afghanistan, she was carrying a computer thumb drive containing plans for conventional bombs and weapons of mass destruction and descriptions of New York City landmarks with references to a mass casualty attack. She was also carrying two pounds of sodium cyanide in a glass jar. She is doing 84 years in jail, so she won’t be attending any Brandeis class reunions for a while. Which brings me to a question I would like to ask Yale President Levin, the ACLU and the many Muslims from the tri-state area who are protesting the surveillance by Raymond Kelly’s police. Who are: Faisal Shahzad?

Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar? Naveed Afzal? Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad? Major Nidal Malik Hasan? Abdullah al-Muhajir? Najibullah Zazi? And Mohamed Mamdouh? President Levin might note the people I cited above look exactly like many of the students walking to class on his campus right now. They look like what they are: American Muslims... just like the American Muslims who are attending mosques and going to businesses in Muslim and ethnic communities in Newark and on Long Island and all over these United States. But here’s where they’re different. The men named above are Americanborn or neutralized American citizens who are terrorists who have killed or attempted to kill as many Americans as they could. Can you tell them apart from the 99.9 percent of Muslims living in this country who are good, honest, lawabiding citizens? Neither can I. Profiling works. Getting to bad people before they can hurt innocent people works, no matter what the race or religion that is being checked. As an Italian-American, here is how I feel about profiling: There is a neighborhood on the lower East Side of Manhattan with streets with names like Mulberry and Grand and Mott and Elizabeth that is the most wiretapped and secretly photographed place on earth. There are more FBI agents and undercover police in the area than there are cannoli in Ferrara. This is Little Italy. The reason for all the surveillance is because this is where many of the leaders of the Mafia can be found. Yes, there is a Mafia, and it is made up mostly of Italians. And, among all those Italian-Americans in this neighborhood (of whom 99.9 percent happen to be law-abiding, wonderful citizens), there is an occasional Mafia guy with a name like Sammy the Bull or Matty the Horse. Now I believe racial profiling in Little Italy is correct. If you’re looking for the Mafia, then racially profile Italians and stake out Little Italy. I don’t believe that, along with the FBI looking for the Mafia in Little Italy, they should be forced to photograph and wiretap people in Polish neighborhoods and look for the Mafia in Chinatown or Hawaii. Ninety nine point nine percent of Americans are good people. Let’s not be so politically correct that we leave that one-10th of a percent free to harm us.

If you wish to comment on “Jerry’s Ink” email Jerry at jerry@dfjp.com

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Randi Milgrim

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Randi Milgrim has been named Best Divorce Attorney on Long Island by the readers of the Long Island Press in its Best of Long Island contest for the fourth consecutive year. This prestigious designation, however, does not surprise her law partner, Dave Mejias. “Most often, clients come into our office broken hearted and afraid of the painful steps they will need to take to divorce a spouse, provide for their children and in many cases be provided for themselves,” says Mejias. But once Milgrim begins to work with them, clients see the light at the end of the tunnel. “In Randi they will find a highly-skilled attorney with a heart as big as her accomplishments,” adds Mejias. “You won’t find another lawyer like her anywhere.”

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“When clients come through my door they are emotionally fragile and trying to make sense of the difficult decision to seek a divorce,” says Milgrim. “It is my job to understand the emotions divorce brings and to fight hard for my clients’ rights.” The legal universe surrounding divorce is complicated and constantly evolving. Milgrim has navigated these difficult waters for many years while always remaining compassionate about the pain of divorce. “Randi’s ability to fight tirelessly for her clients and truly empathize with them is remarkable,” says Mejias. “It is an incredible honor to work with her every day and experience such a high level of professionalism and kindness in an attorney close up.” “Randi’s results speak for themselves,” he adds. “Time and again she has delivered for her clients.” Of course, divorce is most difficult when young children are involved. There is a lot to consider when looking at child custody in a divorce case. This is when Milgrim truly separates herself from other divorce attorneys. “I help my clients examine every option. Do they want joint, shared custody, or will one parent be granted sole rights?” says Milgrim. “Of course the issue of child support is critical in every divorce case and I will not stop until I know the children are well served and provided for in any agreement.” In addition, Milgrim fights hard when it comes time to negotiate spousal support. “I believe in doing what’s right, and sometimes during a divorce one spouse will try to break the rules. I won’t let that happen,” says

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Milgrim. “If my client is owed spousal support, I will make sure it happens. Conversely, nobody is going to take advantage of my client if he or she is the one who is providing spousal support. Divorce is difficult enough, greed makes it toxic.” Uncontested divorce is the preferable way to obtain a divorce. It is simple and less expensive than litigation. It offers you and your spouse the chance to end your marriage quietly and, most importantly, with dignity. “The best part of an uncontested divorce is the high likelihood of an amicable arrangement between the two parties. It is a better place to work from, for both the attorney and the client,” adds Milgrim. Despite the long hours and emotional challenges practicing family law, Randi loves her career and is honored to be named the Best Divorce Lawyer on Long Island for four consecutive years, by the readers of the Long Island Press.

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From Green to Red Tea Partiers Worry Environmentalism is Secret Socialist Plot By Timothy Bolger tbolger@longislandpress.com

The Long Island Socialist housing? officials say sustainable developthe ronkonkoma hub proposal is ment movement is not not at risk after claims that such plans are part of a un plot really an unwitting pawn in a socialistinspired UN plot to seize American property rights, brainwash the nation’s children and cut Earth’s population from 7 billion down to 1 billion. Or is it? Those and other alarmist questions were asked and affir- a national level than it’s impacting our matively answered by a marketer who local taxpayers.” recently made his case in the Nassau Anthony cited one local example: County leg of his national tour of local a 2008 survey of 300 people gauging Tea Party chapter meetings. Whether opinions on revitalizing downtown followers can use the message to bury Copiague, a hamlet with a population the local Green movement by painting of more than 18,000. He argued that it as a Red threat depends on whether LI such surveys are “stacked decks” because lawmakers act on the rhetoric. the sample size was too small to accu“This is real, it’s not tinfoil hat rately reflect a consensus opinion. stuff, it’s not some kind of a conspiracy. Sustainable Long Island, the FarmIt’s nothing more than a well-executed ingdale-based nonprofit group combusiness plan,” John Anthony, a Penn- missioned by the Town of Babylon to sylvania-based Tea Party activist, told a conduct the survey, maintains that they crowd of nearly 250 during a 90-minute advertized the survey in every medium lecture at the Plainview-Old Bethpage possible for months to gain as many Public Library on Feb. 24. “Our local responses as possible. communities are in peril because a small “We specialize in bottom-up group of people seeks to convince us listening, making sure everyone’s at that unless we surrender our property the table,” says Amy Engle, the group’s and freedom, unless we surrender our executive director. “We try to get the individual rights to the good of the word out to everybody…with any community, the planet will not survive.” process there are people who want their A conservative group has been able voice heard and people who don’t get to kill local smart-growth and sustain- involved.” able development initiatives in Virginia, Suffolk County Executive Steve Maine and Florida. They say socialists Bellone, a Democrat who previously in the United Nations coined the term led Babylon’s sustainability efforts as “sustainable development” in a strategy town supervisor, declined to comment. to redistribute global wealth in a plan So did Republican Nassau County laid out in a 20-year-old international Executive Ed Mangano, who might agreement known as Agenda 21. be surprised to learn that his Tea Party The claims surely will echo at backers suspect public-private partnerfuture public meetings across the ships like those he’s championed are also Island. They have already been aired part of a socialist plot. before the lecture hosted by the ConIslip Town Supervisor Tom Croci, servative Society for Action, a local Tea who was also at the meeting, says he Party group—a crowd that cheered would not base any big policy decisions at mention of a municipality suing on one lecture. the federal Environmental ProtecAssemblyman Al Graf (R-Holtion Agency. A handful of Republican brook), another attendee, says he has politicians who listened to the lecture seen government overreaching on described it as food for thought. property rights as Town of Brighton “Caution is the key, and you don’t supervisor in upstate Franklin County. want to throw the baby out with the Eric Alexander, executive director bathwater just because terms are used of Vision Long Island, a Northportthat relate in some way to a report that based smart-growth advocacy group, was generated by people who prefer a wasn’t buying the conspiracy theory. socialist philosophy over a Republican “I think some of the concerns don’t or Democratic philosophy,” Suffolk have much to do with the smart growth County Legis. Tom Cilmi (R-Bay movement on Long Island,” he says. Shore) says. “The whole issue is more “It’s hard to envision how this is related of a commentary on what’s going on at to local land use.” News

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endy and Gerry Zimmerman Forty three years after his death, Kerouac’s point from the stoop of their white presence continues to intensify. On the Road has sold two-story ranch on Judy Ann Court more than 4 million copies to date in the United in Northport to a scraggly, leafless States and regularly sells 100,000 annually, according bramble of thorns abutting the street. to publisher Viking Press. In 2010, a book of letters “The rose bush over there,” says Wendy. between Kerouac and poet Allen Ginsberg was also “There’s some article where he wrote he loved his published. Last year, On the Road was released as an rosebush,” adds Gerry. “So I’m assuming that that’s iPad app. The movie adaptation will be premiering at it, but I don’t know. It’s not in very good shape.” the Cannes Film Festival later this year. The couple, who bought the house on the quiet While other cities and towns within the Kercul-de-sac in the hilly harbor village in 2008, tells ouac-ian universe embrace and celebrate Kerouac’s the Press the emaciated shrub is the only remnant left lasting contributions to literature, counterculture over from the home’s most infamous resident, poetand art, annually or permanently—in particular novelist Jack Kerouac, the so-called leader of the Beat Lowell, Mass. [his birthplace]; San Francisco; New Movement, who lived in Northport for six years with York City; Boulder, Colo.; Orlando and St. Petershis mother before leaving for Florida in 1964. burg, Fla., to name a few—Northport, where he The house on Judy Ann was his third in the retreated in 1958 at the height of his meteoric ascent, village and was constantly bombarded by groupies. has no official commemoration plans this year. In Some tossed stones at its windows late at night, Northport, the reluctant spokesman of the Beats—a hoping to get a peek of Kerouac, who had become word he coined to describe the beaten-down yet increasingly reclusive since moving to Northport. “beatific” nature of his generation—is still known to Others wore spray-painted many as simply “Jack.” jackets emblazoned with the “Jack, to me, was just title of his novel The Dharma a guy that I knew was on Bums. Many wanted to take the Steve Allen Show, King him out for drinks. of the Beatniks,” says Pete “‘Watch, when it’s his Gunther, 78, owner of birthday or his anniversary, Gunther’s Tap Room on people would be coming by, Main Street in Northport, — Jack Kerouac, On the Road kids from college and stuff,’” one of Kerouac’s frequent Wendy recalls the previous local watering holes. “That’s owner telling them after the house’s closing. to Kerouac’s old room is covered with tiny-floral- all: a regular customer, drinker.” When Kerouac lived here, he had “a thousand print wallpaper. Instead of French Post-ImpressionNewspaper articles, recordings, photographs books on many shelves,” according to a 1964 ists, the only abstract artwork hanging from the walls and interviews with several people still around who interview with Newsday Staff Writer Val Duncan, were painted by Gillian, the Zimmermans’ 11-year- actually knew him during his Northport years paint a conducted inside the home. old daughter, whose room is loaded with stuffed picture of man quite different than the one captured “Everybody’s there from Aristophanes to [fellow animals instead of beer cans; toy butterflies rather by the media: a shy, loving, caring man who became Beat poet] Allen Ginsberg,” it reads. “Two of the than a typewriter; and sketches of horses replacing increasingly reclusive in his attempts to escape the walls blaze with abstract paintings Japanese mezzotints. fame thrust upon him, an introvert with a propenand bright postcards from many March 12 would have been sity for grandiose performances the more he drank, lands. Classics, primitives. El Kerouac’s 90th birthday; he died a dedicated son who sacrificed himself to honor his Greco, Rouault, Picasso, Van Gogh, on Oct. 21, 1969, at 47, of internal father’s request to care for his invalid mother. Rousseau, Gougin—and many more, bleeding due to alcoholism. This True, Kerouac’s booze-filled antics throughout contrasting with oriental plaques year also marks the 55th anniversary the then-blue-collar harbor village of clam-diggers and soft Japanese mezzotints.” of his second novel, On the Road, and lobstermen in the early 1960s have become the The house was also host to the which catapulted the then-35-year- stuff of legends, further fueling his mythological author’s farewell party in August old writer into cult stardom upon status among fans and critics. But there was another of that year, his final night in its publication in 1957, influencing side to the gifted writer. Smith knew it all too well. Northport, which included several millions and inspiring everyone from “I liked Jack when we were just together, close friends. The gathering was Bob Dylan to Hunter S. Thompson. the quiet Jack, where he didn’t feel compelled to photographed and recorded by one The book chronicled the mad perform,” Smith tells the Press, in a hallway of his of them, Northport resident Larry post-WWII wanderings of Kerouac, condo decorated with personal photographs he Smith, and became the basis for a as alter-ego Sal Paradise, and snapped of his friend. “Which he did when he 2007 play by freelance writer and first edition of jack kerouac’s companion Neal Cassady, as Dean started drinking and the crowd would grow. He was playwright Patrick Fenton. Moriarty, across North America in a really shy. And he wasn’t a leader. In On the Road, he on the road, published in 1957 by viking press Nowadays, the corridor leading 1949 Hudson. chronicled Neal Cassady.”

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved...”

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howl: gunther’s tap room, on main street in northport, was a frequent watering hole of beat poet-novelist jack kerouac, who lived in the village from 1958 to 1964. owner pete gunther (bottom right), who used to serve the author, says kerouac would sneak bottles of canadian club whiskey into the bathroom in a valise and would pay for his drinks from a roll of nickels his mother would give him. (Jon Sasala/Long Island Press)

WITCHES AND WHISKEY

Kerouac had written On the Road at a breathtaking pace, working continuously for three straight weeks, feeding an uninterrupted roll of paper, about 120 feet long, into his typewriter. This “scroll” was bought in 2001 by Indianapolis Colts owner James Irsay for $2.4 million. But it was 1951 when Kerouac finished his masterpiece, and it took him six years— and a lot of living in between—before Viking Press published it on Sept. 5, 1957. Kerouac was 35 years old, and the experiences he described had happened almost a decade earlier. The novel’s appearance in print was hailed by Gilbert Millstein in the New York Times as “a historic occasion…the most beautifully executed, the clearest and the most important utterance yet made by the generation Kerouac himself named years

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ago as ‘beat,’ and whose principal avatar he is.” A reviewer in the Village Voice, Arthur Oesterreicher, described the scene in Manhattan a couple of weeks later, by saying “people [are] carrying it in the streets, leafing through it in bookstores, hugging it under their arms as they ride the subway to work…” Concluding his review, he observed, “Beneath the beatness on the surface of everything, Kerouac finds beatitude.” By Sept. 20 the book went into its second printing, with a third printing following shortly afterward, propelling it to the New York Times bestseller list for five weeks later that year. Kerouac’s books haven’t hit the best-seller lists in years but copies of his best-known work like On the Road, The Dharma Bums and Mexico City Blues continue “walking out the door,” at places like the

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Book Revue in Huntington, says co-owner Bob Klein. “Kerouac has always sold well and always will sell.” Viking Publisher Paul Slovak explained what drives the appeal of On the Road, which has sold more than 4 million copies in America alone since 1957, and The Dharma Bums, which came out a year later. “They are classic novels of freedom and longing,” Slovak tells the Press. “The books resonate with artists, too, because of their messages that you can go out and swim against the tide; you can do things that weren’t supposed to be done.” When Kerouac’s novels first appeared in the late ’50s, Slovak says, the books “became a rallying cry for the spirit of rebellion at that time…against the Cold War mentality.” But on a more profound level, Slovak says, “They’re quest novels, in a way…. The object of the quest wasn’t so much to have kicks or to find freedom, but was more of a spiritual quest. Their real journey was inward.” Kerouac was dubbed the “King of the Beats,” and the crown proved too heavy on his head. In April 1958, San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen had coined the term Beatnik after the Soviets’ recent launch of their Sputnik satellite, and the phrase quickly turned into a pejorative that “caught the public’s imagination Continued on page 16

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as a perfect putdown for what they considered the dirty, bearded, sandaled bohemians of North Beach and Greenwich Village, whose spokesman Jack Kerouac had to be, since his novels described ‘beatnik’ life,” writes Kerouac biographer Ann Charters. He was mocked on national television and pilloried in the press as the critical backlash unfurled. Time Magazine blasted his writing, which Kerouac’s pal Allen Ginsberg had lovingly described as “spontaneous bop prosody,” and called him a “cut-rate Thomas Wolfe.” Truman Capote said Kerouac wasn’t “writing, he was typing.” But those were mere words. Things turned ugly one night in April, 1958, when a group of men followed him out of a MacDougal Street bar in Greenwich Village and beat him up so badly that his friend Joyce Glassman had to take him to the hospital. He’d been staying at her apartment while his mother Gabrielle, whom he affectionately called “Memere,” was living in Florida with his sister Nin. Because of his literary success, he decided he better stay close to the city where his editors and publishers were, but he wanted to buy a house on Long Island where he and his mother could live peacefully. Most biographers agree that Glassman suggested Kerouac check out Northport, where she’d visited a friend, and so with filmmaker Robert Frank at the wheel, they drove out to the Island. A realtor showed them a gray Victorian house with front and back porches and a gabled roof at 34 Gilbert Street. Behind the house, as it is today, is a football field. Kerouac supposedly bought it on sight for $14,000. Northport, he’d later say, “was like New England.” His mother ruled the roost, running the household, paying the bills, and doling out an allowance. She wouldn’t allow drugs and banned

Ginsberg from Gilbert Street because he was only interested in “sex and dope.” Kerouac wrote Glassman that his mother’s forbidding Ginsberg from visiting was “strange since I’m buying the house and I’m 36 years old.” But that description would characterize their co-dependent relationship. Kerouac had promised his father on his death bed that he would take always care of Memere, telling friends that if she died first he’d move to Tibet and live in a hut. The Gilbert address was far from a hut; it was big and comfortable, with an upstairs writing studio and the field beyond his backyard. But it wasn’t too long before Kerouac’s uninvited guests began harassing him and his mother, even trying to climb through a second story window to get to him. He pulled up his roots once again, and moved to Florida, selling the house to Joan and Dave Roberts, whom he got to know through the Northport library. Painfully shy and reticent, he’d slip Joan Roberts a note about the books he was seeking and she and her husband would drop them off. “He’d really gotten to be very, very reclusive,” says Joan today. “When he was living in Judy Ann, he was so afraid of these kids finding him again, that you would go knock on the door and you would see this little light coming. He would come through this darkened house with a flashlight.” When she took her kids to their new house, Kerouac told them the grape arbor in back “was haunted.” A few years later, after he’d moved back to town, he told her that there was a poltergeist in the dining room cupboard. “You see, Northport is full of witches,” he said in an interview he gave to the Northport library in 1964 for their oral history project. “I see ghosts everywhere… Yes, this is a very ghostly town.”

All told, between 1958 and 1964, Kerouac and his mother lived in the Victorian on Gilbert; a remodeled cape on Earl St., where he would write in the basement until it got too cold and damp, and then work in the attic; and Judy Ann Court. But he could never find the peace and quiet he sought. “People are always bugging me,” Kerouac told Newsday’s Duncan. “Once a guy crashed in at five in the morning and screamed, ‘Are you busy?’” As Ann Charter wrote, “oppressing him were too many drunken nights in New York bars playing the role of King of the Beats and too many brooding, introspective days hung over in his house on Long Island snapping at his mother, sick to death of himself.” Sue Zizza, who produced Pat Fenton’s play, titled Jack’s Last Call: Say Goodbye to Kerouac, for public radio, noted that once Ginsberg got involved with the burgeoning hippie movement in San Francisco he had no one from his old “support system” to look after him. “Northport was more about his living a quiet life, having some friends, and not being on display in the same way he’d be if he went to the White Horse Tavern and other New York City haunts where Cassady hung out,” she says. A last-ditch attempt by Cassady to bring his former road buddy along with him on the new trip he was on with Ken Kesey proved disastrous. In 1964, months before Kerouac permanently left town, Cassady drove out to Northport behind the wheel of the psychedelicized “Furthur” school bus immortalized in Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe. “He goes to Gunther’s with that goddamn thing,” Fenton says, “and it’s backfiring and it’s got that crazy music going on.” He convinced Kerouac to climb on board so he could take him to a party Kesey was having on Park Avenue. Kerouac “keeps asking Cassady if he has

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dharma bums: Northport resident, architect and photographer larry smith, who became a close personal friend of jack kerouac, shows press reporters his extensive collection of photographs and momentos of the beat poet-novelist. (Christopher Twarowski/ Long Island Press, Courtesy of Larry Smith)

any beer, but all he’s got is acid and stuff,” Fenton says, whose play will be performed in Lowell as part of its “Celebrate Kerouac” 90th birthday commemoration.

DESOLATION ANGEL

The interior of Gunther’s Tap Room on the sloping, idyllic harbor-view of Main Street hasn’t changed much since the days of Kerouac’s “four or five times a week” visits, says Pete Gunther, who bought the place in 1962 and ran it with his mother. “Northport was more of a blue-collar town then,” he says. “Now it’s a little touristy. We used to have 100 clam diggers out there, working. And we used to have at least 10 or 15 fisher and lobstermen. Then you had the oyster boat right off the harbor there. “Years ago, if you had a rainy day, I was going to be busy from 9 o’clock in the morning till 5 at night. I’d always end up with a fight, though. If I had two

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good friends, by the time they got drunk, they’d end up duking it out together. I’d have to get in the middle of it. And then by the time they got done, they’d be shaking hands.” There aren’t many signs of Kerouac’s hours spent at Gunther’s nowadays other than a framed poster near the front window announcing Fenton’s play. The bar used to host an annual poetry night called The Kerouac Connection, organized by local poet BJ Cassidy. Occasionally, says Gunther, people stop by asking about Kerouac, but it comes in waves, every few years. The writer used to sit beside an old gas heater, which has since been removed, continues Gunther. Sometimes, other Beat friends would visit him there, he says, such as Allen Ginsberg, who’s 1956 poem Howl solidified him as a leading figure of the Beat Generation—and who, Gunther says, spent one summer digging for clams in Northport Harbor.

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Kerouac was known to walk around town barefoot or wearing a pair of red, tattered slippers—which he also wore to Gunther’s, says the bar owner, because, “You’d have broken glass on the floor.” A glass of beer back then was 15 cents. Though “always broke,” says Gunther, Kerouac would come in with a roll of nickels his mom doled out for him. And somehow, he always wound up drunk. “My mother—I’d come relieve her about 5 o’clock and I’d say to her, ‘How the hell did Jack get so drunk?’ She says, ‘Well he’s only been drinking beer!’ Every once in a while somebody would buy him a shot or something, but—finally, after a couple weeks, I go, ‘How the hell?’” recalls Gunther. “Jack used to come in with a little valise,” he laughs. “He’d go in the bathroom, take it, and pour himself a drink and drink it in the bathroom. So finally then, Continued on page 18

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my mother said, ‘Every time, Jack—you’ve got to check your valise, Jack.’ “Canadian Club,” he adds. For a tip once, says Gunther, Kerouac gave him an autographed copy of 1963’s Visions of Gerard. “I gave it away,” he laughs, though adding that he still has two paintings by the late local abstract painter and photographer Stanley Twardowicz, a friend of Kerouac’s who used to own a studio across Main Street from the bar. Twardowicz and Smith used to play softball with the writer on Sundays at Ocean Avenue school and would end up at Gunther’s, he says. Kerouaca would somersault when he’d miss a shoestring catch and come up smiling, Smith says. For Smith, however, Kerouac was much more than just a fixture on Main Street.

is Kerouac wearing a fedora with its brim turned up, or pensively staring outward, surrounded by empty cans of beer. Among the images is a postcard, sent from Kerouac to Smith in 1965 from St. Petersburg, Florida—discussing the photo that would be used for The Desolation Angels. Unlike Kerouac, who had no car or 9-to-5 job during his Northport years, Smith worked during the day, so most of their time together was spent in the evenings or on weekends—on the softball field, over dinner prepared by his ex-wife Tsuneko, or over beers at Twardowicz’s studio and apartment.

I’m the only major writer in this country that’s never received a literary prize.’ Very wistful. “But I much preferred being with the quiet, sober Jack than the drunken one,” adds Smith, who was eight years Kerouac’s junior. “And he paid me a lefthanded compliment one time. Because we’d be at his house and there’d be knocks on the door and it would be groupies coming in. And you can see Jack’s not in great shape. He’d go to the door and they’d say they were looking for Jack Kerouac. And he turns to me and he says, ‘They expect to see you answering the door.’ “He could be a pain in the ass sometimes,” he laughs, “and then he could be the most charming, engaging and interesting guy.” Despite its relegation as a dark footnote in his career, Smith and Fenton believe Kerouac’s time in Northport did have sigBEATIFIC nificant meaning to the — Larry Smith of Northport, who played softball with Jack Kerouac on Sundays Smith, 82, is an accomauthor, and that had he plished photographer and remained, it could have architect—whose firm prolonged his life. designed Northport Village Hall—and lived his own It’s during these moments, says Smith, when “I think it meant a lot to him,” says Smith. “He On the Road-style adventures traveling the world, three Kerouac would reveal himself. had this coterie of friends here and he was comfortyears in the Navy and three years by way of a 1958 “We would invite Jack over occasionally for a very able with us.” Volkswagon. He recalls his time with Kerouac fondly. modest meal,” he says. “He’d dress up, he’d wear his “I think in his Northport years there really wasn’t The photographs take up several feet of Smith’s slippers or whatever, his plaid shirt,” he laughs. “And much more in him,” says Fenton. “I mean, if it was in hallway at his apartment, a space he calls his “Kerouac we’d have pasta and wine and we’d go down and sit on him, he certainly couldn’t get it down on paper. You corner.” the porch and look out over the harbor. can’t stay drunk and try to write, man, you know.” There is Kerouac seated in a recliner, holding his “Whether he was telling a story or whatever, he Fenton doubted that the author could have ever head while Twardowicz’s wife Ann sits on his lap and was just completely relaxed,” Smith continues. “And matched his earlier literary triumphs, but “had he plays with his hair. There is Kerouac standing in front then this one time there that we were sitting on the stayed there, it would have saved his life, because it was of a doorway, pointing upward in a goofy pose. There porch overlooking the harbor, he says, ‘You know, the only protection that he had.”

“I think [Northport] meant a lot to him. He had this coterie of friends here and he was comfortable with us.”

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Waterfront Weddings

By Licia Avelar and Lea Weatherby

“Imagine arriving at your friend’s wedding where you step out among lush tropical flowers onto a clean white patio overlooking the water,” says wedding planner, Regina Cialone Alaimo of Cloud Nove Events. “A warm ocean breeze welcomes you as you hear the sounds of calypso drums in the background. The sun begins to set on the horizon, creating a breathtaking sky full of colors and beautiful natural décor. What couple wouldn’t look amazing against such a dramatic backdrop?” That dramatic backdrop is in abundance on the fish-shaped Island we call home. Here, plenty of waterfront wedding venues offer couples the most romantic and serene settings to share a special life moment with friends and family. Pavillion at Sunken Meadow is located at the end of an expansive boardwalk in Kings Park and offers weddings overlooking the Long Island

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Port of Egypt Marine in Southold (Photo by Steve Amiaga)

Sound. “We do ceremonies right out on the beach,” says Kathy Lilly, general manager at the Pavillion. The one-room venue is popular for ultraprivate affairs and boasts an outdoor reception area and cocktail area. Another Sound-front venue is Danford’s Inn in Port Jefferson, which offers stunning views of the

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harbor. “More than anything, it’s an enjoyable relaxing environment, and weddings can be very emotional and stressful, but because we have such a relaxing environment it just melts away all the wedding stresses,” says Danford’s Director of Sales and Marketing, Therese Coppola. The Crescent Beach Club in Bayville offers a true beachfront affair on the Sound with optional inthe-sand ceremonies. “The Crescent Beach Club is the only venue on the North Shore offering a complete private beach wedding with pristine white sand and breathtaking sunsets over the water,” says Bill Meis, general manager of the beach club where patrons can opt for an outdoor or indoor reception. Many couples spend the big day at Lombardi’s on the Bay in Patchogue and Lombardi’s on the Sound in Port Jefferson, due to the venues’ outside facilities where happy couples can exchange vows under beautiful arbors in a ceremony presided over by an onsite officiate. Filomena Lombardi notes that of both one-wedding-anight facilities, Lombardi’s on the Bay is a bit more intimate, hosting up to 150 people, while the Port Jefferson venue can fit 300. The View in Oakdale offers another luxuriant bay backdrop. The venue was once a part of William K. Vanderbilt’s 900-acre “Idle Hour” Estate and is now a revamped riverfront wedding establishment offering panoramic views of the Connetquot River and Great South Bay. Just before the forks, there’s Long Island Aquarium which offers couples a waterfront venue on the Peconic River that just opened this past August. It boasts a number of options including

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the private Terrace and large Sea Star Grand Ballroom, all incorporating unique materials. Tony Cotignola, director of sales at Atlantis, notes the main foyer features fossil stone and says the marble was imported from Portugal. “The grand entrance has a hand-blown glass chandelier by Robert Kendal,” he says. On the North Fork, there’s Giorgio’s in Baiting Hollow, which is a popular venue for an upscale affair. The space features expansive waterviews and exquisite interior details like crystal chandeliers, mahogany woodwork and even a grand piano. The high ceilings and wooden beams that support the structure and provincial aesthetics of the Old Field Club are among the many details that complement its rustic, waterfront appeal. Taryn Sieber-Wagner, director of catering at Old Field, says, “One thing that people love about our venue is the style and the décor. It’s really different from a lot of the other venues you see on the island.” This spring, Long Island will get a new waterfront-wedding venue on the North Fork: Port of Egypt Marine in Southold, a fishing station-turned-21st century full-service marina, watersport recreation and now wedding destination. “Our idyllic location on the pristine waters of the North Fork’s Southold Bay creates a romantic and photogenic backdrop for an intimate service or reception with all the amenities,” says Katie Sepenoski, Operations Manager, Port of Egypt Marine. On the South Fork there’s the famous Gurney’s Inn, located on Long Island’s historic Old Montauk Highway, offering expansive views of the Atlantic Ocean from the furthermost point of the Island. Gurney’s Sales Director Phyllis Lomitola notes they encourage their guests to “customize their ceremony with their own music, a sand ceremony in which two vessels are joined together, personalize table settings with the option of ending the night with a bonfire on Gurney’s private beach.” Says wedding expert Regina Cialone Alaimo, “Waterfront weddings offer a relaxing atmosphere, and a calming, stress-free environment. Boating and beaching are so much a part of the culture of Long Islanders, it’s natural for engaged couples to want to incorporate the activities that they enjoy together into their big day.”

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The Wedding Planner

the long island press interview with David Tutera, host of TV’s My Fair Wedding, exclusive from tanger outlets at the arches by Jenn Kane

On Saturday, February 4, nearly 600 people waited on line in the bitter cold at the Tanger Outlets at the Arches to see David Tutera, veteran event planner and star of the WE TV show My Fair Wedding. On the show, Tutera is a fairy godfather, swooping in three weeks before the big day to give brides an event beyond their wildest dreams. In real life, Tutera has 25 years of experience handling the events of celebrity clientele including Elton John and Jennifer Lopez. Brides-to-be traveled from near and far for the chance to hear some of Tutera’s advice on weddings and romance in person. “David was one of the most accessible celebrities,” said Monica Tarantino, co-owner of A Taste of Home Bakery, which catered the event (including a special personalized chocolate heart for Tutera). “He made sure that anyone who waited in line for a picture or an autograph got one; he stood there for everyone.” The Press sat down with Tutera before the show to find out his thoughts on black wedding dresses, fake flowers and if the man ever gets a chance to sleep. Long Island Press: In terms of tradition, I know that sometimes when brides on the show come to you with things that may not be considered traditional; you are occasionally hesitant. Have your ideas of tradition changed since you started doing the show? David Tutera: First of all, I’ve never been a really traditional person to begin with, so I’ve always said pre-My Fair Wedding that I’ve always been the one to take the rules and break them. B8

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Unfortunately, sometimes traditions sort of set us for an expected wedding ceremony and celebration. The show, if anything, has made me realize that a lot of people are trying to have crazy themes to have a great wedding. Although that makes great television, it doesn’t necessarily mean in the normal mainstream world of weddings that you have to have a theme to have a wedding. You don’t— you can have color scheme or style, but you don’t have to have a theme. The

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thing for me has always been, if you have a concept that tells a [story] of the personality of the bride and groom, then you are adding something that’s a little bit more unique. LIP: In the same vein, there have been

brides on the show who didn’t want white wedding dresses… DT: I hesitate on that one. LIP: I think Vera Wang did some black

wedding dresses last year.

DT: Yes, [and] others have too. If that’s

what a bride wants, then I understand it, but I don’t necessarily agree with it. I’m a little bit more traditional on that. Every bride only has this one moment in their life to wear a wedding gown. You can wear a black dress 365 days of the year, every year!

LIP: In terms of brides doing their own thing, maybe not using or unable to afford a wedding planner, what would you recommend when brides can’t use or afford real flowers and are thinking about artificial flowers? DT: First, I highly recommend wedding planners in general—and not just because I am one, but because it’s not necessarily a luxury, but a necessity. And I think that people think wedding planners are costly, but if you have a good wedding planner, they should be saving you money. They should be

executing contracts with vendors better than the ones you would have solidified yourself. It’s still a work in progress in the industry. In regards to having fake flowers at a wedding: I’m not a big fan of it, but I do think if done right, it could work well. The trick to fake flowers is to use one type of fake flowers. So, maybe all fake tulips or hydrangeas or roses; when you start to mix it together, then it looks like a bad hotel. If it were me, I’d have an abundance of candles and rose petals. I think that’s a great compromise. LIP: Aren’t you wiped out after you’re done with an event—are you totally exhausted? DT: Me? No, I feed off of it. I feed off the passion. You know, for 25 years I’ve been doing this. I just go from one to the next. When people are planning their weddings, they get so caught up in the concerns that it becomes almost a job as opposed to enjoyment. In reality, it’s supposed to be just as fun planning as it is the day of [the event]—from when you get the ring to the walk down the aisle. You’re not making life-threatening decisions—you’re making a choice to pick blue or green.

Watch new episodes of My Fair Wedding with David Tutera on Sunday nights at 9 p.m. on We TV.

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DO THIS Weddings Thursday 3.1 EAST PATCHOGUE Absolute DJ Entertainment @ Sunset Harbour 90 Colonial Dr. 631289-2582. 7 p.m.

Friday 3.2 ROCKVILLE CENTRE East Coast Music and Entertainment @ Manhattan Bar & Lounge 324 Sunrise Hwy. 516-442-1530. 9:30 p.m. Tuesday 3.6 JERICHO LI Paramount featuring “ARCADIA” @ Milleridge Inn Carriage House 585 N. Broadway. 516-932-2263. 8 p.m. Wednesday 3.7 DEER PARK Rhapsody Live Band Showcase @ EKO Studios 360 Commack Rd. 8 p.m. NEW HYDE PARK Spring Bridal Extravaganza @ Inn at New Hyde Park 214 Jericho Tpke. 516-354-2372. 6:30 p.m. Featuring live performance by East Coast Music & Entertainment, The multi-vendor Bridal Extravaganza will feature a live performance by East Coast Music & Entertainment among other vendors. Thursday 3.8 CARLE PLACE Entourage @ Chateau Caterers. 440 Old Country Rd. 8 p.m. WOODBURY Vendor Showcase @

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Crest Hollow Country Club 8325 Jericho Tpke, Woodbury. 516-692-8000. www.cresthollow. com. 7 p.m. The Crest Hollow Country Club will host vendors of music, flowers, decoration, photography as well as special performances and presentations.

PATCHOGUE Bridal Showcase & Fashion Show @ West Lake Inn 322 W. Main St. 631475-1300. 6 p.m. West Lake Inn’s Bridal Showcase will host an array of top wedding professionals in all areas. Vendors will be on hand to provide patrons with everything you need to execute a special wedding. Monday 3.12 NEW HYDE PARK The Times Square Orchestra @ The Inn at New Hyde Park 214 Jericho Tpke. 8 p.m. Wednesday 3.14 HAUPPAUGE The Great Bridal Extravaganza @ Hyatt Regency Long Island 1717 Motor Parkway. 6:30 p.m. $5 Presented by A2Z Event Services, the Great Bridal Extravaganza will connect you with national bridal experts ranging from florists to jewelers. Sunday 3.18 MEDFORD Event Showcase @ Mill Pond Country Club 300 Mill Rd. 631-

320-0061. 1 p.m. Many vendors will be available to help you plan out your engagement party, wedding or shower. Wednesday 3.21 DOUGLASTON Bridal Showcase @ Douglaston Manor 6320 Commonwealth Blvd. 718-224-8787. 7 p.m. Thursday 3.22 BELLPORT VILLAGE Wedding Showcase/Absolute DJ Entertainment @ Bellport Country Club 40 S. Country Rd. 631-286-4227. www.bellportcc. com. 6:30 p.m. This wedding showcase will offer patrons some of Long Islands top wedding professionals including DJs, Photographers, Videographers, Florists, Honeymoon Specialists, and professionals from the Bellport Country Club, who will be answering wedding questions. Monday 3.26 UNIONDALE Variety Music @ Marriott Uniondale 101 James Doolittle Boulevard. 516794-3800. Free admission. 6:30 p.m. Wednesday 3.28 BELLMORE East Coast Music and Entertainment @ Antonette’s Restaurant 2701 Merrick Rd. 516-221-3416. 8:30 p.m. LINDENHURST Bridal Showcase @ Chateau La Mer 845 S. Wellwood Ave. 631-225-0400. www.chateaulamer. com. 6-9:30 p.m. Vendors, live bands, DJs, photographers, florists and more. Monday

4.9

HUNTINGTON LI Weddings Bridal Extravaganza @ Hilton Long Island 598 Broadhollow Rd. 631-845-1000. 6 p.m. Thursday 4.12 HOLBROOK LI Sound @ Villa Lombardi’s 877 Main St. 631244-3624. 6 p.m. Tuesday 4.24 MELVILLE Variety Music @ Hilton Long Island 598 Broadhollow Rd. 631-845-1000. 6:30 p.m. Featuring hundreds of vendors. Monday 4.30 WOODBURY The Woodlands Spring Bridal Showcase @The Woodlands 1 Southwoods Rd. 516-921-5707. Admission $5, except for booked brides and grooms. 5:30 p.m. Thursday 5.3 WADING RIVER Bridal Show @ East Wind Inn 5720 Route 25A. 631-929-6585. $15. 6 p.m. Tuesday 5.22 MELVILLE Variety Music @ Hilton Long Island 598 Broadhollow Rd. 631-845-1000. Free. 6:30 p.m. Thursday 6.7 PATCHOGUE In the Mood DJ Productions @ Lombardi’s on the Bay 600 S. Ocean Ave. 631-654-8970. 6:30 p.m. Music by In the Mood DJ Productions. Monday 6.25 MELVILLE Variety Music @ Hilton Long Island 598 Broadhollow Rd. 6:30 p.m. Also on 6.26 @ Marriott Uniondale, 101 James Doolittle Blvd.

F o r t u n e 5 2 E x t r ao r d i n a ry W o m e n . . . E x t r ao r d i n a ry N e t w o r k i n g


F o r t u n e 5 2 E x t r ao r d i n a ry W o m e n . . . E x t r ao r d i n a ry N e t w o r k i n g

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Summer Camp Should They Stay Or Should They Go? BY Licia Avelar lavelar@longislandpress.com

Lose yourself for a summer... Find yourself for a lifetime. Usdan: America’s Premier Arts Day Camp Artistic exploration, collaboration, and fun on Usdan’s 200-acre, woodland campus. Usdan’s professional faculty offers programs for students ages 6-18 in over 40 classes including: Orchestra, Band, Chorus, Video Arts, Musical Theater, Chess, and Organic Gardening. (For a complete listing, please visit www.usdan.com.) Weekdays: 4 weeks or 7 weeks. A/C buses from most Long Island neighborhoods. Tuition: $2,925 - $3,825 plus transportation and fees.

Usdan

Usdan Center for the Creative and Performing Arts

www.usdan.com

212-772-6060 | 631-643-7900

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Even though the little birds aren’t ready to fly the nest forever, the summer is meant to give Mom and Dad a little dose of empty nest syndrome. The question is: for how long? All kinds of day camps, from general camps to camps offering unique programs, scatter the Island and are bustling come June. Some top-notch general camps include Friends Academy and Portledge in Locust Valley, which offer everything from sports to craft options. Driftwood Day Camp in Melville is another top choice among Long Island day campers and it’s just been rebuilt. Ron Kuznetz, owner and director of Driftwood, says, “We brought a sleep-away mentality to day camp in every aspect.” Driftwood boasts a cool new circus program, though Kuznetz says it’s not just the activities at the camp that makes it so enjoyable, but the feeling the kids have at camp. “All we care about is that the kids have a great time,” he says. Camps R Us, with multiple locations, is an affordable day camp option offering many of the same programs. “We offer a full day program at a fraction of the cost,” says Jason M. Turnier, managing director of Camps R Us, who noted that this year, the camp will offer a flexible payment program. Other camps on Long Island have specialized programs like Flying Point Fish Camp in Southampton, which offers campers the chance to learn all about fish ecology, basic freshwater fishing, fly fishing and saltwater fishing. Usdan for the Creative and Performing Arts in Wheatly Heights is a camp built for the budding artist and offers programs in seven departments. “In almost all of our programs, with a few exceptions, students can study an art form that interests them, without any previous study, knowledge or skill,” says Andrew Copper of Usdan. For animal lovers, there’s Camp Zoo at the Long Island Game Farm in Manorville, where campers can learn all about zoology, or the Long Island Aquarium in Riverhead, which allows campers to go behind the scenes at the aquarium and learn about the rescues

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at the Riverhead Foundation. Athletes can spend their entire summers playing sports at camps like Suffolk Y JCC Summer Camp in Commack, learning football, from former New York Jet Jay Fiedler, or Sportime, a tennis academy that offers an elite sports camp for tennis players led by top tennis pros. Surfers can opt for Skudin Surf, in Rockaway and Long Beach, which boasts certified surf instructors who help surfers-to-be with the land-to-wave-riding transition. There is no shortage of sleep-away options on the east coast, too. “Sleep-away camp is a great way for kids to go away and be safe, but experience independence,” says Adam Weinstein, executive director of the American Camp Association in New York and New Jersey. Long Lakes Camp in Dobbs Ferry, NY is one camp Long Islanders seem to enjoy...and the feeling is mutual. “LI families have higher expectations for their summer program and that in turn makes us work harder to be the very best we can be,” says Lee Farrelly of Long Lakes Camp. Loyaltown in Hunter, NY is a camp program for youngsters with special needs who are looking to spend the summer away. “I believe our families choose to send their child, whether a young child or adult, because of the care they have received [here] over the years and our reputation,” says Karen Cullen, Assistant Director, Camp Loyaltown. Camp Green Lane co-ed summer camp in Green Lane, Pennsylvania prides itself on a family feel. “There’s definitely more expensive camps, but the quality you can get at Camp Green Lane is unmatched,” says Jay Freedman, director and owner of Camp Green Lane. “It’s all about friendship and family.” Tioga in Thompson, Pennsylvania offers campers more than 90 different activities with sports fields, a media center, a small lake and two heated pools on the premises. “We’ve got kids from 14 different states but about half are from Long Island,” says Kuznetz, who hails from Long Island, too. “It’s nice to be able to have friends from all over the world but it’s nice to have your core family from Long Island.” One thing seems clear: There are as many types of camps as their are types of children, each catering to individual needs and interests, to give kids an experience they could never receive at school...and parents some muchneeded space of their own.

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Best of Long Island Three Years in a Row! • Over 90 Activities on 12 Wooded Acres • Red Cross Swim Instruction in 3 oversized, heated pools • Inflatable Water Park • All Sports and All New Professional Sports Fields • New Tennis Courts • Circus Program with Flying Trapeze and Bungee Trampolines • Bumper Cars • Ropes Course with Giant Swing and Ziplines • Theatre and Drama Programs • Photography, Videography and Media Arts • Ceramics, Woodworking and Full Arts & Crafts • Archery and Target Paintball • Completely Nut-Free Facility.

Don’t be closeD out— space is extremely limiteD call 631-692-6990 noW for a tour Open Saturdays from 10am - 2pm Melville, NY

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ADVERTORIAL

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These hormones will increase blood pressure increasing your heart rate, which could induce fatal arrhythmia and cause sudden cardiac death. A short term squeezing of the arteries (arterial spasm) of the heart may play a role. Broken heart syndrome is different from a heart attack. Heart attacks are caused by a complete blockage of an artery. In broken heart syndrome, the arteries are not blocked, although blood flow may be temporarily reduced. It appears that most people who have broken heart syndrome are women 50 or older. Rarely is broken heart syndrome fatal. However, complications can include: Disruptions in heartbeat (increased or decreased heartbeat) or shortness of breath due to fluid backing up into lungs (pulmonary edema) .

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their students in classroom discussions. This applies especially in classes such as English, where teachers allow students to express their opinions, making the class more than just facts and details needed solely for the Regents examination. The APPR Plan is essentially based on the idea that test scores directly reflect the extent of a student’s education. It’s created on the principle that tests are the fundamentals of learning, which many argue is certainly not the case. “It is my hope the APPR plan is a fair evaluation focusing on teacher performance and student achievement based on the district’s standards,” said English

Keep Calm and Carry On by Sana Mayat

The Regents testing has always been a major part of the school system. However, with the new Annual Professional Performance Review (APPR) Plan, testing is about to become even more important for teachers. With the current plan in place, twenty percent of a teacher’s evaluation will be based on how well the class performs on the state assessments. Many people disagree on several aspects of the plan, arguing that it will cause teachers to feel the pressure to “teach to the test” rather than engage

teacher Mrs. Kaspar. Even though this may be the case, the new system will still evaluate teachers based on test scores, making them more inclined to fill students’ minds with facts instead of the debates and discussions that bring the classroom to a more intriguing and personal level. Nevertheless, the change in teaching method is not the only argument against the plan. Teachers who do not have a standardized test linked to their course will be relieved of the pressure that other teachers must come to terms with. This is a potential

source for inequality and disunity amongst the faculty, thus damaging the collaboration of the school as a whole. Many people argue that the plan has not been thorough enough and should be piloted before it is expanded. “The State Education Department is moving too quickly and the plan is not thoroughly laid out. Research indicates that this type of evaluation does not work, yet it is still being implemented. There are more questions than answers, ultimately causing confusion and lower staff morale,” said Principal DeMartino…

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1/31/12 1:05 PM


CLASSIC ALBUMS LIVE Craig Martin returns with the world’s best musicians to recreate one of the greatest rock albums of all time, live, on stage, note for note, cut for cut.

Radio partner:

TILLESCENTER.ORG or TICKETMASTER.COM Call 516.299.3100 or Ticketmaster 1.800.745.3000 black logo on white background

Tilles Center is located at LIU Post (formerly the C.W. Post Campus of Long Island University), Route 25A (Northern Blvd.) in Brookville, between Glen Cove Road and Route 107. There is a service charge for phone and Internet orders. No refunds or exchanges. Ask about student and group discounts. Programs, artists and dates subject to change.

These performances are made possible in part by public funds from the New York State Council on the Arts, a State Agency.

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Long Island Press Arts, Entertainment & Nightlife

Events

Thursday p.37

Friday p.38

Saturday p.38

Sunday p.40

Week of March 1 - March 8, 2012

Monday p.42

Tuesday p.42

Wednesday p.42

JANE’S ADDICTION @ THE PARAMOUNT Not unlike the fictional Spinal Tap and that band’s difficulty in keeping the drum chair filled, Jane’s Addiction has had a similar problem with bass players ever since founding member Eric Avery first quit the band back in 1991. And while he briefly returned, over the years his spot has been held by a number of substitutes including Flea and Duff McKagan. With Chris Chaney (Alanis Morisette/Methods of Mayhem) forming the rhythm section with Stephen Perkins, fans can get back to the realization that Jane’s is currently touring behind last year’s The Great Escape Artist, only the band’s fourth studio album. Sunday, 3.4— Dave Gil de Rubio

Escape Artist

DIS-INTEGRATION @ FOTOFOTO GALLERY Layering her images with edges and textures created by photographing through antique cameras, Long Island artist Lois Youmans continues her work with dolls as a metaphor for the human experience, with the tattered remnants of clothing proudly displayed as flawed, but beautiful, what’s left of a bygone era. Saturday, 3.3- Sunday, 4.1. —Jaclyn Gallucci

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FRESHMAN 15 @ BROADWAY BAR The Atlanta band’s sophomore effort, Here’s To Feeling Good will be digitally released on March 13 but these guys are already starting to make a splash, kicking off their “Tour Up From The Floor Up” east coast tour. A nice springtime, feel good record in the vein of Relient K, All Time Low, and Hit The Lights, the band comes to Amityville on Wednesday, 3.7—Daphne Livingston

SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL @ HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY This annual festival has been around since 1950 and its cast has included Phil Rosenthal, the creator and executive producer of Everybody Loves Raymond; actors Kyra Sedgewick, Brian Dennehy, Joe Morton and the late Madeline Kahn, among many others. A new imagining of Much Ado About Nothing, set on the North Shore of Long Island at the close of WWI, is the featured production this year, accompanied by Festival Musicale “2 Bs or not 2 Bs”. Through Sunday, 3.11.—Jaclyn Gallucci

To Submit your own event Listings go to www.longislandpress.com/dothis

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Do This Event Listings

thursday 3.1 Trey Songz @ Theater at Madison Square Garden Brown Bag Lecture @ Nassau County Museum of Art Bring a sandwich and enjoy lunch with friends as a museum docent presents an informative talk on the exhibition of paintings and other works by Louis Comfort Tiffany. 1-2 p.m. LI Women in Art Gallery Mixer @ Art League of LI

PT Walkley @ Joe’s Pub Straight out of Cold Spring Harbor, vocalist/ composer P.T. Walkley has been making a mark for himself as an indie artist with chamber-pop leanings and as a member of Team Frisbie, a company specializing in creating music for commercials, television and film. For this mid-week gig, Walkley will be celebrating the release of his new CD, Thriller.—DGdR Ollabelle @ City Winery That’s Outrageous! @ Vibe Lounge Matt Nathanson @ The Paramount Sister Sparrow & the Dirty Birds @ Bowery Ballroom A funky little nonet out of Brooklyn with

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a killer four-piece horn section that draws extensively from New Orleans funk influences, Sister Sparrow & the Dirty Birds throw plenty of other ingredients into the mix from Jackson’s John Popper-like harmonica runs to sister Arleigh’s vocal phrasing falling somewhere between Susan Tedeschi and Bonnie Raitt. Celebrating the release of the band’s new sophomore album Pound of Dirt, SS&TDB promise to deliver a funky, booty-shaking set that’s been known to include quirky covers of Queen, Rufus and Aaliyah. With American Babies.—DGdR George Washington Crossing the Delaware @ Nassau County Museum of Art The first LI showing of Mort Künstler’s new, historically-accurate painting. Through 3.18. Corrosion of Conformity @ Gramercy Theatre With Torche, Valient Thorr & A Storm of Light. Bjork @ Roseland Ballroom Also 3.5. Bowlive @ Brooklyn Bowl Through 3.3. Continued on page 38

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Do This

POKER NIGHT Presented By

Continued from page 37 /////////////////////

Grandfather/Bezoar/Sannhet/Diaval @ St. Vitus

Tuesday, March 27th

friday 3.2 LI Junior Soccer League Convention @ Huntington Hilton More than 10,000 players, coaches, referees, volunteers and fans are expected. Through 3.4.

at Social Sports Kitchen Uniondale, NY

100 per person

$

Includes Open Bar, food & entry into FREE poker tournament Registration 6pm ● Poker begins 7pm

Table Sponsors - $200

Anything But Clothes @ McFadden’s Most creative ABC costume wins $100 cash and free drinks all night. Wear “anything but clothes” and drink free from 9-10 p.m.

Includes logo signage on table at event.

Contact: Robert Bommarito at robert@bommaritolaw.com More information: www.ebalongisland.com/poker-night-2012

THIS IS WHERE THE

Jodi Picoult @ Huntington High School This is a ticketed event.

FUN BEGINS!

From Rags to Riches: The Living Tradition of Rug Hooking @ Suffolk County Historical Society

ISLANDERS VS DEVILS CELEBRATION DAY Family Sundays are back! Finish winter the right way, bring the kids in for some icy Islanders entertainment! The game is hot, the players are pumped and we’ve got special guests joining us for the game. Before faceoff, you can meet your favorite Nickelodeon characters starting at 1:30 PM.

S U N D AY, M A R C H 4 @ 3 P M Don’t miss the most fun-filled day of the year!

Deborah Kerr Weekend @ Bay Street Theatre Also 3.3.

A Tribute to Stevie Wonder w/ Higher Ground @ Dix Hills Performing Arts Center

MEET NICKELODEON’S OWN: • SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS • PATRICK STAR • DORA THE EXPLORER • PICK BOY

Joey Kola @ Brokerage Comedy Club Also 3.3.

Glen Phillips @ Joe’s Pub With special guest Jonathan Kingman. Charlie Mars @ Joe’s Pub New Riders of the Purple Sage @ YMCA Boulton Center

FAMILY FUN PACKS

Children of Bodom @ The Paramount

4 TIX, 4 HOT DOGS & 4 PEPSI DRINKS

Immolith Record Release Show @ St. Vitus

& GROUP SPECIALS AVAILABLE!

© 2012 Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc. Created by Stephen Hillenburg.

Y&T @ B.B. King Blues Club

MENTION: LONG ISLAND PRESS

Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo @ Irving Plaza

PURCHASE YOUR TICKETS TODAY:

I.800.882.ISLES(47537) EXT. 3 NEWYORKISLANDERS.COM

Todd Rundgren @ City Winery Also 3.7.

FACEBOOK.COM/NYIGROUPS • TWITTER.COM/NYIGROUPS C AT C H O U R U P C O M I N G G A M E S :

SATURDAY, MARCH 10 @ 7PM VS. NEW JERSEY DEVILS

TUESDAY, MARCH 13 @ 7PM VS. WASHINGTON CAPITALS

THURSDAY, MARCH 15 @ 7PM VS. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

A Dangerous Method @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center David Cronenberg’s susepenseful drama. Also 3.3. Richard Buckner @ Grey Horse Tavern One of those singular singer-songwriters who fly under the radar, Richard Buckner has nonetheless found himself a major influence on current superstar bard Bon Iver. Among the highlights in Buckner’s journey so far has been his Townes Van Zandt-influenced 1994 debut Bloomed, 2000’s The Hill (featuring poems from Edgar Lee Masters’ Spoon River Anthology) and 2005’s Sir Dark Invader vs. The Fanglord, a collaboration with the Mekons’

DINNER & SHOW PACKAGES AVAILABLE!

march comedy madness competition starts 3/9 @ 10:30

fri. 3/16 @ 8 sat. 3/17 @ 7:30 & 10

robert kelly

AS Seen on fx & Comedy CenTrAl

nick dipaolo AS Seen on Comedy CenTrAl

just announced fri. 4/21 @ 7:30 & 10

fri. 3/23 @ 8 sat. 3/24 @ 8 & 10:30

jim david 3/9 @ 8 & 3/10 @ 8 & 10:30 brian mcfadden 3/16 @ 8 & 3/17 @ 8 & 10:30 greek comedy show “he said she said” 4/1 @ 7:30 2797 merrick rd., Bellmore (Corner of Bellmore Ave.) 516-781-laff

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sandy marks fri. 3/2 @ 8 rc smith 3/9 @ 8 & 3/10 7:30 & 10 carlos mencia 4/27 & 4/28 • 4 shows! 90 Division Ave., Levittown (Behind Tri-County Shop Center) 516-731-3358

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Mike Doughty @ City Winery

Sandy Marks @ Governor’s Comedy Club

Pop. 1280/Velvet Condom/Bootblacks @ St. Vitus

Paula Poundstone @ NYCB Theatre at Westbury

Duke Robillard & John Hammond @ YMCA Boulton Center Far more than a pair of white guys dabbling in the blues, Robillard and Hammond have instead been keepers of the flame of this most American of musical genres. While Robillard came at it from a jump blues/Texas blues perspective by way of his work in Roomful of Blues and the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Hammond has succeeded in keeping alive the legacies of legends like Jimmy Reed, Son House and John Lee Hooker amid all the bar-band twaddle currently being churned out by most contemporary blues players.—DGdR

New Riders of the Purple Sage @ YMCA Boulton Center The Hahn Show @ Governor’s Comedy Club saturday 3.3 Barstool Blackout Party @ The Paramount St. Patrick’s Day Celebration/Luck of the Irish Auction @ St. Agnes Parish Center, Rockville Centre Taj Mahal @ Landmark on Main Street Calling Taj a bluesman is really an oversimplification and disservice to the man’s musical skills. Try a musicologist whose gritty vocals and multi-dimensional grasp of genres like reggae, Caribbean folk, jazz, gospel, R&B, West African and Hawaiian music has found him collaborating with a who’s who of talent including Ry Cooder, Ali Farka Toure, Bonnie Raitt, Ziggy Marley and Captain Beefheart. Although his last release was 2008’s Maestro, expect the multiinstrumentalist to draw deep from an eclectic canon that’s dotted his decades-long career.— DGdR

Lecture on Louis C. Tiffany @ Nassau County Museum of Art LIU Band Festival @ Tilles Center Duke Robillard & John Hammond @ YMCA Boulton Center Autism Speaks Polar Plunge @ Bay Shore Marina Plunge at 10 a.m. sharp! LI Housing and Rental Expo @ Melville Marriot

Chuck Mead (of BR549) @ Joe’s Pub

dom irrera

www.brokeragecomedy.com www.GOVS.cOM 5

Dov Davidoff @ McGuire’s Comedy Club

appearing @ mcguires in bohemia 3/2 @ 8 & 10:30 & governors levittown 3/3 @ 7:30 & 10

joey kola sal “the stockbroker” AS Seen on john mulrooney governale Comedy CenTrAl AS Seen on Comedy CenTrAl only 1 show fri. 3/2 @ 10:30

The Del Fuegos @ Bell House With the Villa Lobos Brothers.

LI Ducks Job Fair @ Bethpage Ballpark

visit our websites for a complete listing of upcoming shows & to buy tickets online c dov davidoff

2/23/12 11:31 AM

in BeLLmore @ governors @ the brokerage LocAteD LocAteD in Levittown fri. 3/2 @ 8 sat. 3/3 @ 8 & 10:30

Sal Governale’s Marriage & Mayhem Show @ Brokerage Comedy Club

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 36

governors is comedy

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Justin Guarini @ Landmark on Main Street Amid all the hubbub getting churned up by new seasons of The Voice and American Idol, it’s easy to forget past runner-ups, especially those not named Adam Lambert, Jennifer Hudson or Chris Daughtry. But a decade after he placed second behind Kelly Clarkson in the inaugural season of Idol, Guarini has kept on, even after appearing in 2003’s disastrous cinematic flop From Justin to Kelly. More recently, Georgia native has been finding more success on the Great White Way, appearing in Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown and American Idiot.— DGdR

Burnham (includes Meet & Greet) @ Vibe Lounge With Romance on a Rocketship, Weatherstar, A Story Left Untold, Due to Context & Catch the Sunrise.

Jon Langford. A current member of the Merge Records stable, Buckner’s latest is last year’s brilliant and tragic Our Blood. —DGdR

GOVERNORS COmEdy

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dATE: 3-01-12 Publication: LI Press Size: 8.75 x 2.719 (¼ Page Horizontal)

Columns

@ m guires LocAteD in BohemiA

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angel salazar AS Seen In “CArlIToS wAy”

one night only! sat. 3/3 @ 8 & 10:30

richie byrne AS Seen on Comedy CenTrAl

one night only! sat. 3/17 @ 7:30 & 10

appearing @ mcguires in bohemia 3/23 @ 8 & governors levittown 3/24 @ 7:30 & 10

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gift cards available

pete lee fri. 3/9 @ 8 & 3/10 7:30 & 10 open mic show 3/9 @ 10:30 mick thomas “irish show” 3/16 @ 8 1627 Smithtown Ave., Bohemia (Accross from Holiday Inn) 631-467-5413

www.mcguirescomedy.com F e at u r e s

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ENTER FOR YOUR CHANCE TO ATTEND THE 3D ADVANCE SCREENING OF

THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 7:00PM AT A FARMINGDALE THEATRE For your chance to win an admit-two pass, email

WDSMPNYC @GMAIL.COM

with “JOHN CARTER / LI PRESS” in the subject line and your full name, date of birth and mailing address in the body. © 2012 DISNEY. TRADEMARKS JOHN CARTER, JCM DESIGN AND PRINCESS OF MARS, OWNED BY EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS, INC. AND USED BY PERMISSION. No purchase necessary. Winners will be selected at random and notified via email on or about 3/6/12. Limit one admit-two pass per person. Theatre is overbooked to ensure capacity. Arrive early, seating is on a first come, first served basis. Must be 13 years of age or older to enter or win. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action.

IN THEATRES MARCH 9

IN DISNEY DIGITAL 3D™, REAL D 3D AND IMAX® 3D IMAX® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF IMAX CORPORATION

JOHNCARTERARRIVES.COM

Rhythm of the Dance: National Dance Company of Ireland @ NYCB Theatre at Westbury An inspiring epic, reliving the journey of the Irish Celts throughout history using modern art forms of dance and music, and rich costumes. Dov Davidoff @ Governor’s Comedy Club The Great American Rock Show @ Napper Tandy’s—Smithtown Rendition @ Ollies Point With Never Go Pro, 10 Feet Under & Reality Retreat. Jay and the Americans @ B.B. King Blues Club David Bromberg Big Band with special guest Allen Toussaint @ Town Hall Mike Epps @ Theatre @ Madison Square Garden Deicide @ Gramercy Theatre With Jungle Rot, Lecherus Nocturne & Abigail Williams. Tennis @ Bowery Ballroom Also 3.5 @ Music Hall of Williamsburg.

Sandy Marks @ McGuire’s Comedy Club sunday 3.4 Amnesty’s Secret Policeman’s Ball @ Radio City Music Hall Featuring Coldplay, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Mumford & Sons, Russell Brand, Reggie Watts, Sarah Silverman, Seth Myers, Continued on page 42

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Nassau County

Brokerage Comedy Club—2797 Merrick Rd, Bellmore. 516-785-8655. www.brokeragecomedy. com Churrasqueira Bairrada—144 Jericho Tpke., Mineola. www.churrasqueira.com Congregation BethEl—99 Jerusalem Ave., Massapequa Cradle of Aviation— 1 Davis Ave., Garden City. 516-572-4111. www. cradleofaviation.org Governor’s Comedy Club—90 Division Ave., Levittown. 516-731-3358. www.govs.com Hicks Nurseries—100 Jericho Tpke., Westbury Hofstra —Hempstead Turnpike, Hempstead. www.hofstra.edu Landmark on Main Street— 232 Main St., Port Washington. www. landmarkonmainstreet. org Molloy College—1000 Hempstead Ave., Rockville Centre. www.molloy.edu

Bombay Bicycle Club @ Music Hall of Williamsburg With The Darcys & Lucy Rose. Also 3.5 @ Bowery Ballroom.

40

Where it’s At Do This Venue Information

News

Mulcahy’s—3232 Railroad Ave., Wantagh. 516-783-7500. www. muls.com Nassau County Museum of Art—1 Museum Dr., Roslyn Harbor. www.nassaumuseum.com NYCB Theatre at Westbury—960 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury. www.thetheatreatwestbury.com Ollies Point—140 Merrick Rd., Amityville. 516-2086590. www.clubloaded. com Tilles Center— 720 Northern Boulevard, Greenvale. 516-299-2752. www. tillescenter.org Vibe Lounge—60 N. Park Ave., Rockville Centre. 516-208-6590. www. vibeloungeli.com

Suffolk county

Art League of LI— 107 E. Deer Park Rd., Dix Hills. www.liwa.org Bay Shore Marina, South Clinton Street, Bay Shore. Bay Street Theatre—The Long Wharf, Sag Harbor. 631-725-9500. www. baystreet.org

Columns

Bethpage Ballpark—3 Court House Dr., Central Islip. www.liducks.com Book Revue—313 New York Ave., Huntington. 631-271-1442. www. bookrevue.com Brentwood Public Library— 34 2nd Ave., Brentwood. 631273-7883

YMCA Boulton Center—37 W. Main St., Bay Shore. 631-969-1101. www.boultoncenter.org

Manhattan

B.B. Kings Blues Club & Grill—237 West 42nd St. 212-997-4144. www. bbkingblues.com

Best Buy Theater—1515 Broadway. 212-930-1950. Broadway Bar—198 www.bestbuytheater.com Broadway. 631-753-1975. Bowery Ballroom—6 www.clubloaded.com Delancey St. 212-533Brookhaven Lab—Upton. 2111. www.boweryball631-344-8000. www. room.com bnl.gov City Winery—155 Varick Camp Pa-Qua-Tuck— 2 St. 212-608-0555. www. Chet Swezey Rd., Center citywinery.com Moriches. 631-878-2596 Gramercy Theatre—127 Dix Hills Performing Arts E. 23rd St. www.theCenter—305 N. Service gramercytheatre.com Rd., Dix Hills. 631-656Irving Plaza—17 Irving 2148. www.dhpac.org Pl. 212-777-6800. www. Fotofoto—14 W. Carver irvingplaza.com St., Huntington. Joe’s Pub—425 Lafayette Grey Horse Tavern—291 St. www.joespub.com Bayport Ave., Bayport. Madison Square Gar631-472-1868 den— 2 Penn Plaza. www. Huntington High School— thegarden.com 88 Oakwood Rd., HuntingMercury Lounge—217 E. ton. 631-673-2001 Houston St. www.mercuryHuntington Hilton— 598 loungenyc.com Broadhollow Rd., Melville Radio City Music Hall— Lark Pub & Grub—93 1260 6th Ave. www. Larkfield Rd., East North- radiocity.com port. 631-262-9700. www.thelarkpubandgrub. Roseland Ballroom—239 W. 52nd St. www.rosecom landballroom.com McGuires Comedy Terminal 5—610 W. 56th Club—1627 Smithtown Ave., Bohemia. 631-467- St. www.terminal5nyc.com 5413. www.mcguirescomTown Hall— 123 W. 43rd edyshows.com St. www.the-townhallnyc.org Melville Marriot—1350 Old Walt Whitman Rd Webster Hall—125 E. 11th St. www.websterhall. Napper Tandy’s Smithcom town—15 E. Main St., Smithtown. 631-3600606. www.nappertandys. Brooklyn/queens com Bell House—149 Seventh St., Gowanus. 718-643Paramount—370 New 6510. www.thebellhouseYork Ave., Huntington ny.com Sheraton Hotel—110 Motor Pkwy, Hauppauge. Brooklyn Bowl—61 Wythe Ave., Williamsburg. 718631-231-1100. 963-3369. www.brooklynSuffolk County Historical bowl.com Society—300 W. Main St., Riverhead. 631-727- Music Hall of Williamsburg—66 N. Sixth St., 2881. Williamsburg. www.musiUniversity Café—Stony challofwilliamsburg.com Brook University, Nichols Road, Stony Brook. www. St. Vitus—1120 Manhattan Ave., Greenpoint. stonybrook.edu www.saintvitusbar.com Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center—76 Sheraton LaGuardia East Hotel— 135-20 39th Main St., Westhampton Ave., Flushing. 718-460Beach. 631-288-1500. 6666 www.whbpac.org

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Do This

RECORD REVIEW

Continued from page 40 /////////////////////

David Cross, Rashida Jones, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudekis, Kristen Wiig and Statler & Waldorf from The Muppets. Pancake Breakfast @ Camp Pa-Qua-Tuck The Great Sweet 16 & Prom Extravaganza @ Melville Marriott More than 50 exhibitors showing the latest trends, favors, invitations, decorators, formal wear, limos, party buses, food and dessert samplings from noon-4 p.m. Chocolate World Expo @ Cradle of Aviation Museum Golden Dragon Acrobats @ Tilles Center The Accordion Kings @ Dix Hills Performing Arts Center Filter @ Mulcahy’s Ylajali/Cousins/Spirit People/An Endless Register @ St. Vitus Young Jeezy @ Irving Plaza

College The world-renowed jazz guitarist and singer performs. Comedy Roast of Chris Monty @ Brokerage Comedy Club Dex Romweber Duo @ Mercury Lounge With ORBO & The Longshots. Chef Charlie’s Traditional Irish Cuisine @ Brentwood Library tuesday 3.6 Psychic Night @ The Lark

Jonas Sees In Color @ Ollies Point Orgy @ Irving Plaza O.A.R. @ Bowery Ballroom Through 3.10. Senior Aerobic Dancercise @ Congrega’tion Beth-El Through 4.3.

Glory Days @ Vibe Lounge With A New Breed, Vital Promise, Ashleen Jones, Turnkey & The Napoleon Complex.

Flower & Garden Show @ Hicks

monday 3.5 Kicking 4 Celiac Fundraiser @ Churrasqueira Bairrada Great food, drinks and company begin at 7 p.m. Locomotion @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center Stage adaptation of the children’s book. Jewelry Fashion Show & Quarter Auction @ Sheraton Hotel John Pizzarelli & Friends @ Molloy

wednesday 3.7 Kristi Yamaguchi @ Book Revue

Linden String Quartet & Pianist Michael Brown @ Brookhaven Lab The Kooks @ Terminal 5 With Morning Parade & Yawn. Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad @ Ollies Point With Groundswell & Garden Groove.

Possessed @ B.B. King Blues Club

Van Halen’s twelfth studio album represents a major milestone—the return of David Lee Roth to the fold for the first time since 1984, (both the year and album). The decision to hit the vaults and unearth previously unreleased material from the ’70s to use on this project has the band sounding like it’s picking up where it left off 28 years ago. Certain cuts bear the stylistic DNA of previously existing VH songs—“She’s the Woman” has a chugging rhythm not unlike “Mean Streets” and the hammer-ons EVH sprinkles through sections of “As Is” is reminiscent of “Sinner’s Swing.” Elsewhere, the band’s sense of compositional adventure that yielded prior anomalies like “Little Guitars” and “Could This Be Magic” is alive and well on “Stay Frosty,” which goes from an “Ice Cream Man”-like acoustic guitar intro that switches gears into far-flung soloing, a hint of harmonies and Alex Van Halen keeping time on the rim of his snaredrum. For Van Halen, it’s clear there is still enough chemistry between DLR and the Van Halen clan to buck the trend of failed expectations and extreme disappointment that’s more often the rule than the exception regarding group reunions. [8/10] Thursday, 3.1 @ Madison Square Garden—Dave Gil de Rubio

Fanfarlo @ Webster Hall

Todd Starnes @ Book Revue Author of Dispatches from Bitter America.

David Grisman FolkJazz Trio @ City Winery

A Different Kind of Truth (Interscope)

Risk/Barrow/Trees of Light/Ashes Forever/Slothrust @ St. Vitus

Punchline @ Ollies Point With Just Surrender, Bright and Early, Bellwether, All the More, Me vs. The Enemy, The Legend Lives & Symmetry.

Brother Sun (Pat Wictor/Greg Greenway/Joe Jencks) @ University Café

Van Halen

Faster Pussycat/ Acey Slade & The Dark Party @ St. Vitus Also 3.8 @ Ollies Point. Purim Services @ Congregation Beth-El Purim is the festival that celebrates Queen Esther’s secret life as a Jew in ancient Persia and how she saves the Jewish people of Shushan from certain death by the hand of the evil Haman. 7 p.m. Great Bridal Extrava-

ganza @ Sheraton LaGuardia East Hotel thursday 3.8 Mutemath @ Best Buy Theater With Canon Blue. Todd Snider @ Irving Plaza With Kevn Kinney. Kaiser Chiefs @ Terminal 5 With Walk the Moon. Filter @ Gramercy Theatre With MENEW & Evan Russell Saffer. Into It. Over It. @ Vibe Lounge

With No Good News, Last Great Hero, Jim Heffernan & For What It’s Worth. Eilen Jewell/The Sweetback Sisters @ Bell House Altan @ City Winery Bowlive @ Brooklyn Bowl Through 3.10. Barn Burner/Natur/ Spirits of the Dead/ Brickeater @ St. Vitus Craig Finn (of The Hold Steady) @ Music Hall of Williamsburg

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 40

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Simply Fondue

24 Great Neck Road Great Neck, NY

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We’re so sure you’ll love our food that we’ll give you a free cocktail to go with it!

Visit us at simplyfonduelongisland.com for our program of live entertainment in the martini lounge.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday (3/2, 3 & 4) ONLY Buy a four-course dinner at the regular price of $38 and get one glass of wine, standard cocktail or any of our 65 martinis

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Dinner includes salad, cheese fondue, fondue entree & chocolate fondue. Lots of varieties to choose from. You must present this coupon to qualify.

Reservations: 516-466-4900 or opentable.com Like” us on Facebook (Simply Fondue - Long Island) or e-mail contact@simplyfonduelongisland to join our e-mail list for more great deals. News

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Weightloss Medications

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AFFORDABLE HOUSING AVAILABLE IN MELVILLE, NY: Wait List Intake Forms & Initial Apps are now available on a first come, first serve basis for affordable apartments at Avalon Court in Melville. Avalon Court consist of 1, 2 & 3BR apartments. Program guidelines provide full explanation of criteria for entrance into the program which is limited to households that fit within the max. & min. income guidelines, as follows:

– INCOME GUIDELINES* –

80% of the Town of Huntington median HH Income Household (HH) Size

Gross HH Min. Income

Gross HH Max. Annual Income

1BR: $37,536 $62,897 1BR: $37,536/ 2BR: $45,456 $71,882 2BR: $45,456/ 3BR: $52,128 $80,868 2BR: $45,456/ 3BR: $52,128 $89,853 3BR: $52,128 $97,041 3BR: $52,128 $104,229

1 person 2 persons 3 persons 4 persons 5 persons 6 persons

*Income Guidelines are adjusted annually

Cooperative efforts of the Town of Huntington & AvalonBay Communities, Inc. have enabled apartments to be rented for:

– Avalon Court –

Rents** are set as follows: 80% Median HH Income Apt. Size Mo. Rent 1BR $1,564.00 2BR $1,894.00 3BR $2,172.00 ** Rent is adjusted annually & calculated after Utility Allowance Deductions

Fair housing laws will be followed. To receive an application, please contact Carmen Echeverria with the Long Island Housing Partnership Office at

866-978-1681 Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, or visit Avalon Court at 100 Court North Drive, Melville, NY 11747.

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Health & Wellness:

New Aloe “Cocktail” Solves Digestion Nightmares for Millions Doctors report new aloe-vera “cocktail” delivers instant relief to people who suffer with heartburn, acid-reflux, constipation, gas, bloating, diarrhea, and other stomach nightmares... By Damian Wexler, Freelance health reporter

“Sometimes you’ll give anything just to make it stop!”... says Dr. Santiago

Rodriguez about digestive distress. He ought to know. After all, he’s a world-renowned expert on medicinal botany. “You can see the tortured look on people’s faces as they talk about the scorching burn of stomach acid. Or being so constipated you almost pass out from the pain.” And there’s nothing worse than being “kept prisoner to your bathroom” because of chronic diarrhea. It’s a nightmare for people who suffer from it. But now, your stomach problems could be over. And the secret is in the healing aloe plant. FINALLY THERE’S HOPE... At first, the thought of drinking Aloe vera might make some people back away. But in fact, this delicious “digestion cocktail” is doing amazing things for people who suffer with stomach problems --- even if they’ve had them for years. Here’s how it works…

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Crossword WHO NEEDS IT? ACROSS 1 Pay hike? 7 Chore 11 Styptic pencil stuff 15 Predicament 19 Model Kim 20 Press 21 It’s a long story 22 “Inter -” 23 Start of a remark 26 Fluff the flour 27 Mr. Hammarskjold 28 Composer Satie 29 Majors or Marvin 30 Layers 32 Had kittens? 33 Postern and portcullis 36 Main squeeze 37 “- culpa” 39 Heavenly hunter 40 “I bet!” 41 Part 2 of remark 46 Faux 49 Fireworks reaction 50 “- Boulevard” (‘50 film) 51 They may be rolled 52 Billings or Mostel 53 Neighbor of Miss. 54 “- Blade” (‘96 film) 55 Leans 57 It’s taken by nurses 58 Sharp taste

60 Skater Midori 61 Wine choice 62 Nabokov novel 63 Kukla’s colleague 65 Part 3 of remark 68 Fail to mention 69 Tedious 71 Sues or Shepard 72 Boathouse item 74 Objectives 77 Take on 78 Pack of partridges 80 Like many gyms 82 Cornfield cry 83 Calcium oxide 84 Non-stereo 85 Peaceful 86 Chemist Remsen 87 Singer Joey 88 Part 4 of remark 92 Heady quaffs 93 Respond to an alarm? 94 “Ask - Girl” (‘59 film) 95 Fop’s neckwear 98 Marsh bird 99 Facts, for short 102 Georgia athletes 103 Brit. fliers 104 Way to go? 105 Clean-air org. 108 Serenade accompaniment 109 End of remark 115 Fragrance 116 Peace of mind 117 “My word!”

118 Swimmer Gertrude 119 “Circus Boy” prop 120 Prophet 121 Lorre role 122 Triangular sail DOWN 1 Spoke out 2 - Romeo 3 - shui 4 Medieval weapon 5 Kitchen gadget 6 Grenoble’s river 7 Walrus weapon 8 Meyers of “Kate & Allie” 9 NCO 10 It may be major 11 Fatheads 12 - bloomer 13 “Yuck!” 14 Mehta and Muti 15 Iraqi city 16 Homeric work 17 Cool 18 Base stuff? 24 Bream of baseball 25 Actress Graff 31 “- Angel” (‘60 smash) 32 “Pshaw!” 33 “Peer Gynt” composer 34 Nonstandard contraction 35 “Mazel -!” 36 Fills the bill 37 Dough 38 Wharton work 39 “Smilla’s Sense -” (‘97 film)

40 Actuary’s fig. 41 Ditch under a drawbridge 42 Road curve

43 Decree 44 Step - (hurry) 45 Nick of “The Deep”

46 Party animal? 47 Guy Fri. 48 Queens stadium

Sudoku

52 Raul of “The Addams Family” 55 At present 56 Rock’s - Butterfly 57 Petite pooch 59 Bellyache 61 Journalist Ernie 62 Mime Yarnell 64 Picnic crasher? 66 Devastation 67 Fashionable event 69 Like Mussorgsky’s mountain 70 Garfield’s pal 73 Actor Guinness 75 Tie the knot 76 Fluctuate 78 Telescope view 79 Responsibility 80 Wired 81 - Plaines, IL 84 Exemplar of slowness 85 Cut cuticles 88 Cut coupons

89 “84 Charing Cross Road” author 90 Psychic Geller 91 - Paulo, Brazil 95 Uncouth 96 Boca -, FL 97 Ward off 98 Morley of “60 Minutes” 99 Charged atom 100 Puzo product 101 Singer Payne 102 Ink stain 103 Trick 104 Carthaginian queen 105 Raison d’106 Soccer superstar 107 Mideastern gulf 110 - kwon do 111 Jewel 112 Inflatable item? 113 Use a shuttle 114 Lepidopterist’s need

Last Week’s Answers

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The Planter Wart Solution The Cherrywood Footcare located in Bellmore was recently voted “Best Podiatrist on Long Island” by the Long Island Press for good reason. Dr.Burke and the staff of Cherrywood Footcare offer cutting edge emerging technologies that treat many ailments as well as boasting a friendly staff and a modern office. Cherrywood Footcare is a leader in podiatry. It’s not only affiliated with two local hospitals but also has a state of the art operating room within the office. In fact, Cherrywood Foot Care is one of only a handful of podiatrists in the county offering laser therapy for fungus nails with one of the most advanced laser systems. Plantar warts, also known as verruca plantaris, are the most common viral infection of the skin. Plantar warts are noncancerous skin growths on the plantar surface, or the sole, of the foot. They can be found anywhere on the foot but tend to produce symptoms in areas of pressure and friction causing pain and discomfort. The human papilloma virus causes warts infecting only the superficial layer of skin entering through tiny cuts, breaks or other vulnerable areas on the skin. It is estimated that 7-10 percent of the U.S. population is infected, most commonly affecting children but also seen in adults. Infection typically occurs from moist walking surfaces such as showers or swimming pools. The virus can survive many months without a host, making it highly contagious. After infection, warts may not become visible for several weeks or months. Because of pressure on the sole of the foot or toe, the wart is pushed inward and a layer of hard skin may form over the wart that can often be mistaken for a callus or corn. They may fuse or develop into clusters called mosaic warts. Some signs and symptoms of a plantar wart include small, firm, fleshy, grainy lesions or growths on the soles of your feet, which NE eW wS s

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can resemble a cauliflower; hard, thickened skin over a well-defined spot on the skin,where a wart has grown inwards; black pinpoints which are small, clotted blood vessels; pain or tenderness when walking or standing; and the virus does thrive in warm, moist environments and also needs a point of entry into the skin such as cuts or dry skin. Plantar warts require treatment especially people with diabetes, nerve damage in their feet or weakened immunity. People with these conditions need treatment under a podiatrist’s supervision to closely monitor the treatment effect and the quality of the wound healing. Plantar warts are usually self-limiting within a few years, but treatment is generally recommended to lessen symptoms, which may include pain, decrease duration and reduce transmission. It’s much easier to treat a few small warts than several large warts. Plantar warts can stubbornly resist treatment. Therefore, most treatments require patience, persistence and multiple interventions. Cherrywood Foot Care offers a variety of methods to treat this contagious condition based on individual needs as well as severity of the condition. To reduce the risk of plantar warts, avoid direct contact with warts including your own, keep your foot clean and try by changing shoes and socks often; don’t go barefoot in public areas by wearing sandals or flip-flops in public pools, showers and locker rooms; don’t pick at your warts, by picking they may spread to other parts of your foot and hands; don’t use the same file, pumice stone or nail clipper, your warts a you use on your healthy skin and nails; and wash your hands carefully after touching your warts to prevent spreading the infection. Put your “Best” foot forward.Call us today to see why we were voted #1 BEST Podiatrist On Long Island!

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