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I’m not going to look, I’ll be in the bar by that point.”

Sound Smart at a Party As far as we’re concerned, technology is at its peak. First a 24-hour cupcake vending machine was created. Now, food company Nestle is using X-rays to find ways to make ice cream more delicious. With help from

the Institute for Snow and Avalanche Research, Nestle will use the same special X-ray technology that avalanche experts use to study how ice crystals cause the formation of an avalanche. Researchers found that as ice cream sits in your freezer, ice crystals grow and stick together, which makes it taste icier and less yummy as time goes on. The study, which was published in the journal Soft Matters, concludes that further research is necessary to figure out a chill solution to this cool problem… Some people will go to extreme lengths not to work, as an unemployed man in Austria recently proved. He was

so desperate to avoid it he sawed off his foot hours before he was due at the labor office to check if he was fit to go back to

work. Hans Url used an electric saw to sever his foot above the ankle, then called an ambulance from his garage. Doctors were unable to reattach the foot, and Url almost died from the loss of blood. Unfortunately for Url, a spokesman for the unemployment center told the Daily Mail, “This is a tragic case but it will not help the man.” Url would be re-assessed for work once he is released from the hospital…

recently released a survey that showed only five of 20 retailers responded within 48 hours to questions customers posted on their Facebook page and left the questions up. These companies were B&H Photo, Gap, Bed Bath & Beyond, JackThreads.com and WilliamsSonoma. B&H responded the fastest, within two minutes, and Bed Bath &

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—actress Kate Winslet on watching her Titanic nude scene in 3D during the film premiere at the Royal Albert Hall in Kensington, West London, Tuesday, March 27, 2012. The re-launch of the Titanic 3D version comes 15 years after the film was a huge box office hit. (AP Photo/Joel Ryan)

Facebook is a great place to connect with friends, but not a great place to seek answers from retailers, according to a customer-service evaluation company. STELLAService

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Beyond, Williams-Sonoma, Sur La Table and Footlocker answered within a half hour. Some of the companies that just deleted the comments without responding within two days were J. Crew, Radio Shack, Victoria’s Secret, Best Buy and Crate & Barrel… Only in Vermont. Residents of northern Vermont are planning to form a “World’s Largest Cowbell Ensemble” in honor of Christopher Walken’s

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famous Saturday Night Live skit. The event will take place on April 14 and is hosted by Vermont rock group Phish’s nonprofit organization the WaterWheel Foundation, along with Ben & Jerry’s. Phish’s drummer, Jon Fishman, will lead the ensemble, which coincides with the 15th anniversary of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream. Don’t worry, the silliness is for a good cause—all proceeds from the event will benefit Vermont flood relief efforts from Hurricane Irene…

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Letters To the Press Down With The King Dear Jed Morey: Thank you for the article regarding Rep. Peter King’s involvement with recent U.S. Marshal raids in the Bronx and Brooklyn [Off the Reservation, “Petey’s Big Adventure”]. For too long, King has had a free ride (pun intended) as he has abused his position to target Muslims, Wall Street occupiers and anyone whose political or social views are contrary to those held by Mr. King. He has demonstrated, time and again, a world view that is both myopic and biased. Many of his comments, including those decrying peaceful protesters as “anarchists,” are both inflammatory and completely at odds with his fervent support of the Irish Republican Army at the time of that conflict. As one of his constituents, I do not count myself as one of those who “love” Mr. King, as you suggest. I do not believe that his rigid and extreme views are representative of those held by most Long Islanders. Nor do I believe that his belligerent and defiant stances when challenged are anything but an embarrassment to those of us whom he has represented for so many years. Eventually, those who abuse their power and overreach cross the line and pay a political price. Thus far, no

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candidate has come along who has been able loosen Mr. King’s entrenched hold on his seat. But the coming election may well unseat a number of long-time representatives who have taken their constituencies for granted, and Mr. King may find that he is not immune to such a challenge. Judith Zinn, Laurel Hollow High-speed Ferry Ahoy Dear Editor: Recently, New York City studied the implementation of ferry services with proposed routes that pass by Hempstead Harbor. It has occurred to several governments that Long Island would benefit from a ferry to NYC. In my town, approximately 42,000 daily passengers take the Port Washington Long Island Rail Road line and over 100,000 cars pass by driving into New York on the Long Island Expressway. Both the LIE and the LIRR are considered among the worst commuter routes in the country, costing hundreds of thousands of lost hours sitting in traffic or delays every year. I have proposed to the Town of North Hempstead a viable transportation alternative that answers so many issues we face: A high-speed ferry service from Hempstead Harbor Park to NYC. The location is perfect with its easy, nonintrusive access on Shore Road, only 3.5 miles from the LIE. Hempstead Harbor Park offers ample parking and deep water piers while not disturbing beach goers who typically visit the park on weekends. A ferry service here would offer a quick alternative to New York in 20 minutes. A ferry service would take in fees on parking and docking which could add several million a year to the town, something the town desperately needs to consider. Our neighbors in Glen Cove have raised over $20 million in government funding to build a ferry service to New York. But Glen Cove must first build road access, parking, and bulkheads, which we already have in Hempstead Harbor Beach. With the go-ahead, we could implement a ferry service within weeks. Keep in mind that Glen Cove has 1/8th the commuters of North Hempstead, meaning we would be eligible for substantially greater funds through various government organizations. The reasons for developing are simple: With a high-speed ferry, time to New York would be cut to 15 minutes versus the LIRR time of 50-plus minutes. For Wall Street, the time would be 22 minutes versus 90 minutes. James Warwick, Port Washington Warwick is a former CEO of the Internet Press Association, Intelligent Transportation Systems developer, and former freelance editor for Newsday.

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Being good neighbors ... Representing their professions ... Changing lives ....

IT’S WHAT

WE DO.

New York State United Teachers celebrates the work and commitment of its members, professionals in education and health care who make a difference on the job and in their community every day. Bronx music teacher Caroline Duggan introduces an afterschool Irish dance program that has performed at the White House. Read more about her story.

Visit http://itswhatwedo.nysut.org

my students to know they have the ability “ Itowant do anything they put their minds to. ” — Caroline Duggan

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C Ex h pre ec ko ss ut

The Target

one

alicia silverstone—off target The Clueless star posts an online video of herself feeding her 10-month-old son Bear Blu by chewing his food herself, then feeding the baby the pre-chewed food from her mouth directly into his. So the kid is only 10 months old and already we can pretty safely say he’s going to have severe late issues as an adult. Impressive parenting! Choco

st silver

New rs e Panth

Bobby

ing

Cheat

lime

Pink S

New Panthers—off target Members of the New Black Panther Party, a group largely shunned by the original Black Panther Party of the ’70s as a racist and anti-Semitic organization, offers a $10,000 bounty on George Zimmerman, who allegedly shot and killed unarmed Florida teen Trayvon Martin in February. And here we thought nothing could be more awful or disturbing than Martin being killed in the first place!

Bobby Brown—off target Just days after Whitney Houston’s death is attributed to frequent cocaine use, the late singer’s ex-hubby is arrested for DUI when he fails a sobriety test, after being pulled over by police for talking on his cell phone. To be fair, it’s been more than a month since he crashed Whitney’s funeral and there was a good chance if he didn’t do something idiotic, he wouldn’t have been in the news at all this week! Pink Slime—off target Beef Products Inc., the company that makes “pink slime,” suspends operations at three of four plants where the beef ingredient is made, as officials address recent public concern about the ammonia-treated filler, which the company says meets food safety standards. The fact that the fourth plant remains operational gives us hope that these allegations will turn up empty and we can once again enjoy ammonia-laden pink slime in our own diets! Cheating—partial score High school students taking college entrance exams face sweeping nationwide security upgrades including photo exam tickets, following an SAT cheating scandal uncovered by Nassau County prosecutors last year. So the rest of the country can thank Long Island for making it harder to cheat on the SATs? Dear rest of the country: You’re welcome! Chocolate—bull’s eye A study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine finds that people who eat chocolate frequently have a lower body mass index than people who don’t. Huh. We would have sworn we were eating more than enough chocolate. Apparently not!

The Quote “If you haven’t cursed out a New York Times reporter during the course of the campaign, you’re not really a real Republican.”

The Pink Slip Donald Verrilli Who could have predicted that the most important constitutional argument before the U.S. Supreme Court in our time would boil down to questions about eating broccoli, using cell phones, and stopping a blind man from walking in front of a car? But that’s the case for President Obama, whose re-election could hinge on whether the individual mandate in his Affordable Care Act survives the legal thrusts of the most conservative Court since Chief Justice Roger B. Taney declared in 1857 that all blacks—slaves as well as free—were not and could never become U.S. citizens. Good thing the Court was eventually overruled, but it took a Civil War to do it. (Justice Taney, meet Hon. Clarence Thomas.) So did the Obama administration have its top gun ready to open fire this week? Apparently not. Instead, they depended on Solicitor General Donald Verrilli Jr., who “stammered, stuttered and stumbled” in the face of open hostility. What the hell did he expect from this crowd? All the TV lawyers in the world, even Perry Mason’s perpetual patty-melt, Hamilton Burger, would have done a better job defending this key provision to Obamacare. Without it, how will 50 million more Americans get health insurance? Stay healthy, uncovered people. Verrilli, Judge Judy would have shown you no mercy. Pack up your legal briefs and go—you’re fired!

The Photo

—Rick Santorum defending his reply to a New York Times reporter following a Wisconsin speech in which Santorum called Mitt Romney the “worst Republican in the country to put up against Barack Obama.” When reporter Jeff Zeleny asked Santorum if Romney really is the “worst republican in the country” Santorum replied, “I said he was the worst Republican to run on the issue of Obama care. Quit distorting our words. If I see [that in print], it’s bullshit.”

The Equation

Yasemin Ayarci, 21, from Levittown, Pa., holds a poster showing Jesus Christ as she supports health care reform as she rallies in front of the Supreme Court as it continues arguments on the health care law signed by President Barack Obama in Washington, Tuesday, March 27, 2012. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Boring old bad + Brand shiny new bad x Organization-wide motto of: x Dissatisfied lunatics x Inferiority complex = Thank God it’s quarterback quarterback “no such thing as bad publicity” baseball season!

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2. FOLLOW WILLY WONKA ON TWITTER: Everyone’s favorite candy man has joined the Twitter community, but he may not be for everyone. Oh, you listen to Skrillex? Please explain to me how underground you are... Oh, your iPhone has a Personal Assistant? That’s adorable, I have Oompa Loompas… Oh, you wear glasses but don’t really need them? No, it’s cool to make fashion out of others’ visual impairment...After a slew of meme’s featuring Wonka’s face with obscene statements over it (you’ll have to conjure up the Gene Wilder voice yourself), Wonka has been given his own platform to comment from in 140 characters or less. If you’re a fan of cynical humor, follow @sarcasticwilly. 3. TAKE YOUR KIDS TO SEE BULLY: The controversial, emotional and unrated documentary takes viewers inside the real world of bullying, sharing the stories of children who were brutally victimized by classmates. The film will be released for a limited run on March 30 at AMC Lincoln Square in NYC. Visit go.amctheatres.com/bully for show times.

4. LOOK FOR JUPITER AND VENUS: Venus and Jupiter are visible near the crescent moon this week in the western sky, but not for long. Over the next few weeks, Jupiter will fade out of our view little by little and Venus will grow brighter. Fun fact: If you look through a telescope, you’ll notice Venus isn’t round. It will turn from a half-moon shape to a crescent as it brightens—that’s because Venus, like the moon, has phases. Need help finding them? Download the Planet Finder app on your smartphone or tablet, then hold your device up to the night sky. 5. WATCH GAME OF THRONES SEASON 2 PREMIERE: The popular HBO show’s first season closed with one of the most outlandish and shocking conclusions ever in a TV series and it’s back for its second season. The newly released trailer is sure to get you completely hooked again. Watch the full-length premiere April 1 at 9 p.m. 6. STOCK UP ON EMILE’S CANDY: Every year we schlep out from Suffolk County to make our yearly hajj to this fabulous candy shop in Oceanside (if we went more often than this, we’d be 800 lbs.). From their multi-colored Peeps hand-dipped in homemade chocolate to their four-foot milk chocolate bunny and our personal favorite, the large milk chocolate dipped homemade marshmallow eggs, if we were on death row, this would be our final meal order. Oh, they deliver, too. Go there (emilescandy.net) and experience the magic—then like them on Facebook.

7. KIDS OF THE ’80S, RELIVE YOUR CHILDHOOD: Before there was Barney, there was the Magic Garden. Come see the one and only Carole and Paula from the classic kids show live on stage at the YMCA Boulton Center April 1 and celebrate 40 years of timeless music and laughs, along with a special guest, the original Sherlock. The whole gang will meet and greet fans after the show, pose for photos and personally sign DVDs, CDs and posters. 8. MEET MARY & CAROL HIGGINS CLARK: The world of mystery, murder and plot twists descends upon Huntington. Best-selling suspense writers Mary and Carol Higgins Clark will sign their latest books, The Lost Years and Gypped, at Book Revue on April 4. 9. GO TO I-CON 31: From March 30 to April 1, Stony Brook University hosts the Northeast’s largest convention of science fiction, fact and fantasy. The three-day festival features the best in comics, fantasy, horror, anime, medieval reenactment and technology. With merchant tables, creator panels and special guests galore, I-Con 31 is not to be missed by any fans of the above. For more information on dealers, guests, schedules, admission prices, etc., head to www.iconsf.org. 10. FOOL YOUR FRIENDS: It’s that time of year again... April 1 is April Fools Day! Make sure to remember to trust no one, believe nothing and, above all, prank before you’re pranked. Want some new ideas? Seek retribution from last year? Visit www.aprilfoolzone.com for some harmless mischief and get creative. This is no day to hold back, so make plans and be prepared! Or the joke will be on you... News

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The Rundown

1. MEET THE MYTHBUSTERS: So what, they shot a cannonball through someone’s house during an experiment last year? It’s not stopping these two…The all-new, live show, “Mythbusters: Behind the Myths” starring Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage, co-hosts of the Discovery series, will appear at the NYCB Theatre at Westbury April 1 at 8 p.m. to conduct on-stage experiments with audience participation, rocking video and behind-thescenes stories. Just make sure you bring a helmet.

The Book LONG ISLAND NOIR Multiple Authors Launched with the summer 2004 awardwinning best seller Brooklyn Noir, Akashic Books continues its groundbreaking series of original noir anthologies. Each book is comprised of all-new stories, each one set in a distinct neighborhood or location within the geographical area of the book. In Long Island Noir, Kaylie Jones, Jules Feiffer, Reed Farrel Coleman, Sheila Kohler, and others reveal how Long Island has always been a playground for the rich and famous. While it used to be that only a select few could afford it, now everyone wants a piece of the pie. The McMansions pop up like mushrooms, limiting resources and destroying an already taxed environment. It feels a little like Rome in its last days—a kind of collective amnesia and blindness to the outside world has taken over. Everyone knows this, but no one wants to do anything about it, because big money is being spent— and made. And as the rich grow richer, the poor grow poorer and more disenfranchised; and greed only breeds more greed and violence. These stories cover the range of Long Island’s extremes, from the comfortably rich, to the horribly poor and all the darkness in between—people pushed to desperate acts in order to protect what they already have, or to try to take what they don’t from those who do.—Daphne Livingston

10 Million the number of times Angry Birds Space has been downloaded since its debut last week.

B-List B-Day Jennie “KELLY TAYLOR” Garth April 3, 1972 Jennie Garth AKA teen vixen Kelly Taylor on the original— not the new and embarrassingly bad—90210 is an Aries, an adventurous fire sign. And Kelly Taylor is nothing if not adventurous. From wearing that gold dress with her long blond locks to hooking up with Beverly Hills bad boy Dylan McKay, Taylor stays true to the “Throw caution to the wind…” motto of the Aries. Known for having an outgoing personality, an Aries will never shy away from a challenge, whether it be a cat fight with Brenda Walsh in Season 3 over a shared love interest—or kicking that bitch Valerie (Tiffani Amber Theissen) back to Saved by the Bell for good in Season 9.

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Off the Reservation BY Jed Morey, Publisher, Long Island press Facebook.com/JedMorey

@JedMorey

Putting the “Fun” in Fundamentalism The “my-perverted-form-of-Christianity-is-crazier-than-yours” show will be coming to New York soon when the GOP candidates come-a-barnstorming through our blue state. I have already received a lovely letter from Willard Romney asking for my support as if things aren’t bad enough with Tebowmania sweeping the region. My pitiful Jets. Sigh. That’s for another day. Recently, my wife and I were fortunate to procure tickets to The Book of Mormon on Broadway. As one would imagine, it was delightfully wicked and painfully funny. (Unless, of course, you’re a Mormon, in which case I wouldn’t recommend it.) But its brilliance isn’t necessarily its provocative humor as much as its ability to bring the audience from uproarious laughter to dead silence within seconds. For all of its entertaining vulgarity, this Broadway show is a cautionary tale against the evils of forcing a belief system down the throats of others. If nothing else, it will leave you wondering how this particular sect became so powerful and accepted

as to produce the odds-on favorite for the GOP nomination. On the same side of the bizarrospectrum is the new breed of Christian fundamentalist personified by Rick Santorum, the former Pennsylvania senator. In addition to the many things I find loathsome about him and other sanctimonious politicians is their annoying habit of twisting the words of the Constitution and, in particular, the Founding Fathers. The rise of the conservative Christian fundamentalist clutching the Bible in one hand and the Constitution in the other is one of the more intellectually insulting developments of our time. The Founding Fathers were undoubtedly brilliant. But many of their flaws such as their racism and infidelity have been whitewashed over time, explained away as unfortunate characteristics of the era instead of the morally reprehensible traits they have always been. By claiming ownership of their ideas and intentions, the conservative fundamentalist movement has completely distorted the spirit of the Constitution. In everything

they did the Founding Fathers—many of them downright heathens if ever there were any—took great pains to eradicate the role of God in governance. After all, these were men who knew and understood that America was settled by people fleeing, not seeking, religious persecution. One needs to look no further than the Constitution itself to discover that our form of government was intended to be an entirely secular affair. Moreover, The Federalist Papers, which offers the greatest insight into the intentions set forth by the most scholarly of the Founding Fathers, explicitly denounced religious influence over government. In his portion of the introduction, James Madison credits the “zeal for different opinions concerning religion,” among other things, with having, “divided mankind into parties, inflamed them with mutual animosity, and rendered them much more disposed to vex and oppress each other than to co-operate for their common good.” The majority of the writings proffered by our forefathers echo this sentiment. While freedom of religion among citizens was indeed a critical aspect of their collective philosophy, so too was freedom from religion. This doesn’t mean they weren’t men of faith. In fact, my guess is that if they heard Rick Santorum profess that JFK’s insistence upon separation of church and state made him want to throw up, the Founding Fathers would likely vomit themselves. After a good laugh at Santorum’s expense and a few hits of opium, Benjamin Franklin would take off with one of his several prostitute paramours, Jefferson would go back to chasing Sally Hemmings around her slave quarters, Washington would return to bidding on a few more colored people, Hamilton would resume paying hush money to the husband of his 20-something-year-old mistress, Adams would continue attempting to imprison reporters under the Alien and Sedition Acts, and Aaron Burr would get back to his target practice. These guys would have fit in perfectly today with the likes of former Nevada Sen. John Ensign and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who both called for President Clinton’s impeachment over the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal while simultaneously carrying on extra-marital affairs of their own— the former with the wife of his best friend. But enough about those Godfearing noblemen; let’s get on to the oft-abused phrases that seemingly comprise the bulk of Middle America’s knowledge of American history. For those who insist on God as part of the original intent in America, allow me to disabuse you of the most

commonly mistaken beliefs. To begin, there are no references to God in the Constitution. Period. Furthermore, the phrase “under God” was not part of the original Pledge of Allegiance, which was written by a socialist, by the by; it was formally adopted by Congress in 1954 as a reaction to the rise of secular Communism. I’ve also heard the argument the president serves the Almighty first and foremost because the Oath of Office closes with the phrase: “so help me God.” This is true, but you should know that it was ad-libbed by George Washington, not originally written as such. And finally, “In God We Trust” is neither from the Constitution nor the Declaration of Independence. It’s on our money. How very Christian of us. American history is fascinating and the work of our Founding Fathers is legendary and enduring, but it’s important to get it right. So too is it important to understand the origins of the modern Christian fundamentalist movement. In a nutshell: A couple of babbling prophets roamed the country in the 1800s and early 1900s selling a new shiny brand of Jesus with little attention paid to them. Then, in the 1920s, Frank Barton, best known as one of the “B’s” in the BBD&O ad agency, published The Man Nobody Knows. It was a self-help book about Corporate Jesus that spread like wildfire, and the fundamentalist movement latched on immediately with the thought that if you’re successful in this life, then Jesus must love you. Of course, the flip side of that coin is that if you’re poor through no fault of your own, it must be because Jesus hates you. Fundamentalists don’t like that side of the story much, though. That’s right; the babbling nomadic Christian fundamentalists who evangelized throughout the United States were universally recognized as the crazy people they were until they got a makeover by the Don Draper of the 1920’s. The result: Rick Santorum. And the people who believed Jesus buried golden tablets (that no one ever actually saw) in the three days between dying on the cross and rising again only to later tell an angel named Moroni to let Joseph Smith know that the plates were buried in his back yard…in Rochester…New York…? I give you, Mitt Romney. These are the GOP frontrunners that shall walk among us next month in a primary that looks like it actually might matter. And since I have maintained my Republican registration, I get to weigh in on this contest. Any thoughts on which one I should pull the lever, er, fill in the bubble for? Can I just go all the way and write in “Tim Tebow?” What the hell, right? Oops! There I go again.

to comment on “Off the Reservation” email jed at JMorey@longislandpress.com

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Somewhere along the line we have lost our way. We have allowed politicians from both parties to poison this great country. We’ve allowed the media, from both sides, to pretend to be fair while distorting the truth. This is not Democrats versus Republicans. This is ugly versus uglier. In Florida an innocent AfricanAmerican kid, Trayvon Martin, was stalked and gunned down by a madman. President Obama did the right thing and told the nation how he was saddened by the death and he commented that if he had a son, “he would look like Trayvon,” and that he could only imagine what Trayvon’s parents are going through. Newt Gingrich reacted like a mean-spirited idiot, saying, “Is the president suggesting if it had been a white who had been shot, that would be OK because it wouldn’t look like him?” I’m no fan of Obama but for crying out loud, when the president can’t comment on a national tragedy without some bozo turning it into a racial debate, then we’ve hit bottom. When it comes to politicians: they all lie. We’ve got a president who lies to us in order to stay in office. He’s opposed by a candidate who thinks he can Etch-A-Sketch his lies and get away with them. I blame them all. Once in the 1950s, a great lawyer looked at an evil United States Senator and said: “Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?” Today he could say this to every single politician in Washington, and he would be right. The people running this country have all turned out to be lying, money-grubbing, powerseeking pigs. A number of years ago a brilliant writer named Charley Reese, a reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, wrote his last column and hit the nail directly on the head, defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day. Charley Reese wrote: “Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. “Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

“Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes? “You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does. “You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. “You and I don’t write the tax code. Congress does. “You and I don’t set fiscal policy. Congress does. “You and I don’t control monetary policy. The Federal Reserve Bank does. “One hundred Senators, 435 Congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country. “Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.... “I can’t think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist... “Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like “the economy,” “inflation,” or “politics” that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do. “Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. “They, and they alone, have the power. “They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses. “Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees... “We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!” AMEN.

If you wish to comment on “Jerry’s Ink” email Jerry at jerry@dfjp.com

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L.I. College Graduates Face Uncertain Economy—and Future ichael Cunha did it all by the book. He achieved an SAT score in the top 3 percentile nationally. He earned a full scholarship to Hofstra University, maintained a 3.7 grade point average and graduated with honors. He secured a job and less than two years later was paying his own bills and living on his own—age 24 and financially independent. The job he worked so hard to achieve that set him on a path to his own version of the American Dream? Waiting tables at Olive Garden. Cunha, like so many other perfectly qualified college grads across Long Island, has had to resort to a way to earn a living that just a few years ago would have seemed both unimaginable and undesirable. Since late 2008, when the ongoing recession became an accepted fact for most Americans, college students have graduated with the fairly depressing knowledge that a crippled economy awaited them. For the class of 2009 and beyond, the idea of nailing down a steady job immediately after commencement has been an unrealistic one; the notion of leaping straight into career-oriented employment, a pipe dream. With the academic year approaching its conclusion, more than 20,000 college graduates from Long Island—many of whom will earn their degrees from the Island’s own 19 colleges and universities—will soon find themselves in a job market still struggling to extricate itself from the Great Recession. According to a study by the Heldrich Center for Workforce 12

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Michael Cunha, 24, earned a full scholarship to hofstra university and graduated with honors. nearly two years later, he’s working two jobs, waiting tables at hurricane grill & wings in hauppauge and olive garden in ronkonkoma (below), to pay his bills. Photos by Jon Sasala/Long Island Press

Development at Rutgers University, only 52 percent of employed recent graduates have jobs that require college degrees. And among the classes of 2009 and 2010, just 22 percent describe their first jobs as being a step towards their intended careers. “I can’t even imagine what you would have to do to get the job you wanted in this economy,” says Cunha, of Ronkonkoma. He graduated in 2009 with a psychology degree and pursued the field for a few months, landing several interviews but no offers. In an impulsive moment en route to one interview, he stopped into the Olive Garden a few blocks from his home, spoke to the manager, and was offered a position within a half hour. It was tough to turn down. There were pressing needs, like paying his car insurance and phone bills—and hopefully having enough left over to cover a gym membership. He’s been waiting tables and collecting tips and paychecks ever since, and

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he’s even picked up another waiting gig, at Hurricane Grill & Wings in Hauppauge. “I’m kind of rolling with it,” he tells the Press recently, relaxing at home after an all-day shift of Italian dinners and countless breadstick baskets. “Depending on how things go, I would like to go back to school someday, but it’s kind of hard to imagine doing that soon with the economy the way it is.” Cunha’s predicament is far from unique—20-somethings across Long Island share his uneasy sentiments. When the National Bureau of Economic Research officially declared that the U.S. was in a recession back in December 2008, it meant that college students would have to gear themselves up for a period of uncertainty that would last for an undefined amount of time. The real world that loomed was merely an in-between, a purgatory for those stuck between college and a career. Only 12 percent of the class of 2009 graduated with

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jobs already lined up, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers—an especially staggering statistic considering that the same figure was at 33 percent two years earlier. For the rest, the choices were generally unappealing: Take the first thing available or risk staying unemployed for a long, long time. Some, like Evan Goldfarb, 23, have already dealt with both. The Massapequa resident graduated from the University of Florida in December 2009 with a degree in finance. Within three months, he was fortunate enough to find work, albeit at a lower salary than he would have hoped, and in an only slightly related field—at a collection agency. Such were the necessary drawbacks of having a steady paycheck, or so he thought. When his company restructured last March, he was let go. More than a year later, he is still unemployed. He has used a variety of networking contacts within the finance

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sector, but none of them have panned out yet. “At one of the jobs I applied to, I was told that it was basically an entry-level position, yet they got 150 applicants for it, some with five to 10 years of financial services experience,” he says. “These people are applying to entry-level positions because they got laid off from their jobs, so they’re looking for whatever they can find.” His experience is a common one, according to Barbara Ray, author of Not Quite Adults as well as an upcoming book about the effect of the recession on young people. “There are so many older, experienced workers who are clamoring for jobs with young adults,” she says. “There are a lot of young people who have jobs that they may be overqualified for.” Perhaps most worrisome, says Ray, are the consequences that an unfortunate graduation year can have in the long term. In a 2010 discussion with The Atlantic, economist Lisa Kahn cited a study in which she tracked the career paths of students who graduated between 1979 and 1989. As might be expected, those who entered the workforce in particularly bad recession years—in this case, 1981 and 1982— could anticipate earning an average of 25 percent less in their first year than those who graduated in better times. But the economic effects lasted past that first year and, in many instances, well beyond a decade: 17 years after graduation, those who entered the workforce in the worst years were still earning 10 percent less than their more fortunate counterparts.

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he current state of the economy has led a growing number of college graduates to question their decisions to pursue a degree in the first place, an investment that can put students tens of thousands of dollars in debt or more. A 2011 report, “Student Debt and the Class of 2010,” placed the average debt for a graduating student at $25,250. But a college degree pays for itself within about 10 years on average, Ray points out, so it’s generally a worthwhile investment, even if it might not always seem that way at first. To get the most out of their education, though, students need to make sound decisions and receive solid advice from those in the know, because uninformed or ill-advised choices in the education process can stall a career down the road. Jillian Cox, 24,

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“I feel like

everyone around me is moving forward. I’m 24 and still in school, accumulating more loans.”

a student at Molloy College, earned her bachelor’s from SUNY Buffalo in 2009. She studied exercise science with the hope of working at a corporation as an exercise specialist. Her college advisors ensured her that such jobs would be available, but they offered little substantial information in the process. “I remember I made an appointment to talk to my advisor about career options, and she just kept saying over and over in different words, ‘There are tons of options out there,’” says Cox. “I asked her to be specific and she just said, ‘There are a lot of opportunities. You have to look.’ I wish she would have said, ‘Yes, it is very hard to find a job with an exercise science degree.’” After Cox graduated, she took a job as a therapeutic assistant at a hospital for children with special needs. The work was fulfilling but offered low pay and little possibility for upward mobility. She felt stuck. Eventually, she returned to school to work on a second bachelor’s, this time in nursing. The two-year program took many of her previous credits, which accelerated the process and saved her some money. Still, the misstep cost her time that could have been spent making money instead of spending it. “I feel like everyone around me is moving forward,” she says. “I’m 24 and still in school accumulating more loans. “It is partly my fault,” she admits. “I should have researched the major and possible careers before applying for it.” It’s not uncommon for collegebound students to be unsure about what kind of degree they’d like to pursue—the most popular major in the country is “undecided,” points out Kim Semder, a guidance counselor at Great Neck North High School. In

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An eye for the unique.

Jillian Cox, 24, graduated from suny buffalo with a degree in exercise science, but after having trouble finding work, she enrolled at molloy college to obtain a degree in nursing.

“Mati” Pendant by KABANA® in 14K Yellow Gold with Onyx, Turquoise and White Mother-of-Pearl Inlay and Diamonds $3,000 many cases, parents and counselors are more invested than students when it comes to declaring a major and finding a career. “There are people out there who are really concerned, but I don’t think our kids are there yet mentally,” says Semder, who has almost two decades of counseling experience. “They’re not really looking four years down the road. They don’t even know what they’re going to be studying in four years.” Rather than focusing on a particular field and choosing a school that specializes in it, many students decide to attend the school with the best overall reputation. This choice can offer the most freedom both in college and beyond, but, since the best names tend to carry the heftiest price tags, it can also pile on the loans. And in cases like Jillian Cox, students might be confident they know what they’d like to pursue, only to realize the job market in that particular field has run dry. This is why, Semder stresses, it is essential they investigate the potential of a particular area before diving headlong into it. “Do some research,” she advises. “See what the projections are for the career you might be thinking about in terms of: Are there jobs? What is the pay in those jobs?” To start students thinking about this sooner rather than later, many guidance departments meet with them to discuss their future plans or to conduct career interest inventories— written surveys that measure students’ inclinations towards certain types of work. One-on-one meetings with students gauge what kinds of paths they envision themselves taking. When students are completely uncertain, guidance counselors like Semder will encourage students to think on the News

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macro level and consider the type of Chain included environment in which they envision Other “Mati” styles available from $379 themselves: in an office or on street level; behind a desk or solo; helping others or in a competitive atmosphere. But all this effort and preparation offers few guarantees, as students tend to be fickle: More than 50 percent of Roosevelt Field undergraduates change their majors at Upper Level between Macy’s and Nordstrom, 516-248-7200 least once. NaHoku.com “A lot of times they think they like the idea of something, like medicine, and then they get there and they’re NAHO-32543_Mati-LIP.indd 1 struggling in their physics or chemistry course,” she says. “A lot of students think they know what they want to do but don’t know what it takes to achieve that goal.”

3/21/12 11:07:22 AM

hile picking a major is a fluid decision, the choice can still have plenty of long-term impact because all majors are definitely not created equally. The success rates in some disciplines are vastly different from others, as revealed by labor economist Andrew Sum in a recent analysis published in The New York Times. Using data collected in the American Community Survey, Sum determined the percentage of college graduates under age 25 who held jobs requiring college degrees (he found the number to be 55.6 percent) and broke the stat down by major. The most successful discipline, nationally, was education: Among recent graduates who were education majors, 71.1 percent currently hold degree-requiring jobs. The same statistic stands at 69.4 percent for engineering, 68.5 for math/computer science, and 64.9 percent for health majors.

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CSEA MEMBERS SAVE A CO-WORKER’S LIFE!

CSEA Members from Nassau County Public Works saved fellow co-worker Gwendolyn Watts on August 14, 2011, after she fell into a covert at Merokee Pond in Bellmore. The five workers, John Mangual, Glenn Allison, Rick Vellotti, Vincent Brown and William Mahoney were honored at a March 19 ceremony at the County Legislature. Jerry Laricchiuta, President, Local 830 www.csea830.org

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On the other end of the spectrum sit an array of liberal arts majors: communication (51 percent), humanities (45.4 percent) and area studies (such as Latin American studies, 44.7 percent) ranked as the bottom three types of majors. The stats hold water, considering the natures of the disciplines at the extreme ends of the spectrum. Majors like engineering, accounting and education are disciplines that entail very specific training, points out Fred Burke, executive director of the Career Center at Hofstra University. They require particular skill sets that are honed in college classrooms. It follows that students in such disciplines tend to land jobs more easily, Burke says, because their undergraduate studies train them for the exact type of work they will be doing once in the workforce. Other disciplines, particularly liberal arts and humanities majors, put less of an emphasis on developing skills and more on personal enrichment. Quite often, they are the most appealing to students, but they do little to guide them toward a career. Majors like philosophy, English and history enrich the person as a whole but often fail to place them in jobs. In many of the best cases, they serve as stepping stones to graduate school, a path that gives more of an upper hand to students entering the workforce but also often means more debt. Burke points out, however, that Hofstra’s career center avoids coercing students to take on particular majors. “We are objective,” he says. “No advisor is going to encourage a student to study XYZ.” Doing so, he adds, could steer students towards disciplines they hold little interest in. “Students often ask, ‘What should I study?’ and we say, ‘Well, what are you interested in?’ You have to put it back on the student,” he says. “We don’t push people toward majors and careers. We have to keep a level playing field—we have 140 undergraduate programs and 150 graduate programs.” That being said, Burke notes that the correlation between students’ undergraduate majors and the fields in which they go on to work is low. Today’s economy has put these choices under a microscope, he says, but in reality, much more powerful factors are at play in determining who gets jobs and who doesn’t—such as the initiative they take in the job search. “I think people are trying to quantify an investment in education,” he says. “What you put in is what you get out. College is designed to prepare

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you, and if you put forth the effort, you will be successful.” Such effort comes in the form of internships, campus involvement and taking advantage of alumni connections. “Get to know your faculty,” he advises. “Engage the process. Use the career center. Especially in this economic climate, why would you not be close to the office that’s going to help you identify jobs and your interests?” Burke points out that, while there is no surefire trick to success in finding a job, those who are successful tend to take advantage of the connections in their networks and to understand their own skills, values and interests. In the cases of many of the exceptions who were able to find jobs in their chosen fields, success was the result of myriad factors: picking a practical major, forging connections and starting the process early. For Michael Wiederecht, 21, a Massapequa resident and a senior at Notre Dame, this process began with choosing majors that were both engaging and practical. “I ruled out in my head anything in Arts and Letters,” he says, referring to Notre Dame’s liberal arts school, “both because they weren’t interesting to me, and because I knew it would be much harder to get a job in those fields.” Wiederecht chose a finance and math double major, and he kept a high GPA in both. He interned at PNC Bank during the summer after his junior year and, by the first semester of his senior year, was offered a job with the company when he graduates this May. He points to his strategic choice of majors as a factor in his ability to succeed where many others have not. “During one of my interviews,” he recalls, “a recruiter made the comment: ‘He’s math and finance? Let’s give him an offer right now.’” For others, a key to success has been the decision to enter fields that are growing while many others shrink. To Alex Mavroudis, 22, a senior at Stony Brook, that meant majoring in information systems, which gears students to jobs in information technology. Mavroudis, who also graduates this May, was recently offered a job at the IT consulting company Capgemini. As companies become more and more reliant on technology, he is confident his field will only continue to expand. “Nowadays with the job market being so difficult,” he says, “it’s nice to go into a field that has more opportunities and is growing every year.” And success stories do exist in the teaching sector, even though Long

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through preparedness, hard work and a little bit of luck, heather trifiletti, 25, was able to find a job in her field of study, as a math teacher in the bayport-blue point school district.

Island’s budget issues make it a far less attractive major than in most of the country. Heather Trifiletti, 25, of Ronkonkoma, majored in mathematics and minored in education at Adelphi University. She completed her undergraduate in three years, then spent a fourth year attaining a master’s in secondary education while she interned with the math department at a middle school. The gig didn’t land her a full time job in that district, but when she finished her coursework in 2009, her principal passed her resume on to other schools on the Island. Eventually, she landed a job as a math teacher for 7th and 8th grade students at James Wilson Young Middle School in the BayportBlue Point School District, where she is now a full-time tenured teacher. She realizes her good fortune was the result of preparation, hard work and a few auspicious breaks. “The internship that I did usually lines up everyone for a job the next year. I was the only person out of ten who had a full-time job for the next September,” she says. “I felt so lucky to have gotten a job on Long Island—and I still do.” Burke points out that, in today’s News

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economy, college graduates like Trifiletti need to put forth the extra effort to become part of the workforce. “Employers are saying they can’t find good talent. The media is saying there is a shortage of jobs. I think college grads need to be aware they’re entering a competitive job market,” he says, “but they have to think of ways to separate themselves.” For those graduates now several years removed from college, many of whom have spent years either unemployed or in positions they’re overqualified for, the recession has quelled their youthful hopefulness with an unwelcome dose of reality. But while those who graduated into the teeth of the recession—the classes of 2009 and 2010 especially—have certainly taken a beating, many of them are making the best of what they’ve been given. Deneen Dismore, 24, of Freeport, graduated in 2009 with a marketing degree from Boston College, and for nearly two years, she bounced among odd jobs: retail at a jewelry store, receptionist at a hair salon and a six-month stint as a full-time babysitter. “I even have a real estate license I don’t use,” she says. All

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it took Deneen dismore, 24, nearly two years to find a job in her field. “it gave me a reality check,” she says. “i am not entitled to anything.”

the while, however, she stayed focused on her goals. “I always made sure I was networking, had my nose in the market,” she adds. “I even carried my resume around with me. I was kind of a psychopath.” Last August, Dismore found a position as the marketing director for a dentist’s office. While patients have their teeth drilled a few rooms away, she helps the practice expand its clientele—something a bit closer to her desired career path, even though it’s not quite the situation she would have conjured up for herself a few years ago. “I always saw myself in more of a trendy than corporate environment,” she says, “but I’m happy where I am.” The importance of the experience hasn’t been lost on her. “The economy whooped me, spit me out, but you know what? I think it gave me a reality check. I am not entitled to anything.” And as for the overwhelming majority of those who are about to graduate and don’t already have jobs in hand—are they giving up on their dreams altogether? Hardly. A study by the Pew Research Center found that, while only about a third of young people feel they make enough money, 18

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89 percent of those who don’t think they earn enough foresee that they will in the future. As the situation remains dire, optimism remains unchanged. Michelle Esbin, 21, a Massapequa resident and a senior at Ithaca College, graduated this December, a semester early. The television-radio major hopes to embark on a career in the entertainment industry, either in Los Angeles, where she spent a semester interning with Will Ferrell’s Funny or Die website, or in New York, where she interned with Nickelodeon last summer and recently signed a three-month contract to work for the company. “I definitely won’t be starting anywhere near the top, but I’m OK with that,” she says. “Any job is better than no job.” Funding her undergrad experience has accrued mountains of debt, and she acknowledges that she’ll be paying it off for years to come. But she’s hopeful that it will be worth it. “To think that all of it is for nothing—that would be terrible. I believe all that time and effort will find me something,” she says. “In the end, I’m optimistic. I have to be.”

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Broken Heart Syndrome, What Is It Really? Loss of a loved one, winning the lottery, losing a job, all are situations that cause extreme stress and may break your heart, literally. Broken Heart Syndrome is a temporary heart condition brought on by sudden stress. The symptoms including chest pain, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat and generalized weakness, as per founder of Heart and Health Dr. David Kavesteen. Any long-lasting chest pain, a very rapid or irregular heartbeat, or shortness of breath after a stressful event should be taken seriously as they could also be signs of a heart attack. Anyone experiencing those symptoms needs to call 911 or get emergency medical assistance immediately. What causes broken heart syndrome? Dr. Kavesteen believes that the surge of stress hormones, such as adrenaline plays a major role. 30

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These hormones will increase blood pressure increasing your heart rate, which could induce fatal arrhythmia and cause sudden cardiac death. A short term squeezing of the arteries (arterial spasm) of the heart may play a role. Broken heart syndrome is different from a heart attack. Heart attacks are caused by a complete blockage of an artery. In broken heart syndrome, the arteries are not blocked, although blood flow may be temporarily reduced. It appears that most people who have broken heart syndrome are women 50 or older. Rarely is broken heart syndrome fatal. However, complications can include: Disruptions in heartbeat (increased or decreased heartbeat) or shortness of breath due to fluid backing up into lungs (pulmonary edema) . For more information please visit www.HeartAndHealth.com.

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Dazzling, disappointing, deceptive: 3D Movies

The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and Titanic, as 3D movies. Even though viewers say the effects are better, the cost is too expensive for some. “When I watched Avatar in 3D it was like, ‘oh my gosh it’s so cool,’ but when it was not in 3D it’s like, ‘where’d all the cool go?’” says sophomore Erika Slepian. “The Lion King made effects seem real and [as if ] you are more a part of the movie. Not all movies need it because it’s not worth the extra money.” The recent movie Adventures of Tintin in 3D cost $16 to view in Deer Park Regal Theater but in regular 2D

By Leeza Kramer, Staff Writer

Three-dimensional (3D) movies are a cinematic sensation. According to www.3dmovie.com, more than 50% of movies are now in 3D. From the glasses to the effects, 3D movies are different and original when compared to the older two-dimensional (2D) movie. Hollywood is rereleasing classics such as

was only $12. That is only one example of the disparity of costs between a 3D movie and 2D movie. However, the cost is not an issue to some people. “They seem real, like more real then 2D,” says freshman Will Furst. “[The effect] feels like it’s about to hit you.” The effects seem real, but not all movies need the 3D aspect to make them good movies. However, 3D movies make more money than 2D movies. In fact, on average 3D movies net about $381 million while 2D movies

net about $89.5 million according to FalseCreekProductions.com. A lot of people that go to the movies are teenagers who may not have a lot of money. Many teenagers do not have jobs and get money from their parents. Those who do have jobs may not want to spend extra money on the 3D movie when there is a perfectly good movie in 2D. “[If all movies were in 3D it would be] worse because it’d be more expensive and not all movies need 3D,” says Slepian…

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Week of March 29 - April 5, 2012

Ev e n t s Th u r s day p. 27 F r i day p. 27 S at u r day p. 2 8 S u n day p. 3 0 M o n day p. 3 0 T u e s day p. 3 2 W e d n e s day p. 3 2 Th u r s day p. 3 2

Do This Event Listings

SULLY ERNA (GODSMACK) @ THE PARAMOUNT Best known as the front man and singer of the rock band, Godsmack, Erna looks to stretch his legs bringing his solo act to Long Island. With his solo album, Avalon, being released this year, Erna says he has returned to his roots creating his most genuine work to date. Erna has credentials spanning performance, production, and engineering, which he has fully utilized in creating his latest record.—Michael Ventimiglia

ongoing Formatting For Facebook @ Nassau County Museum Contemporary art meets social networking in the work of Steven Salzman. 3.31-7.8.

Healthy Baking, Zumba, GlutenFree Dinner, Yoga, CardioJam and Workshops @ Oh My Girls! Full event lineup at www.ohmygirls.com.

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Deconstructing The Beatles @ Cinema Arts Centre Join acclaimed Beatles scholar Scott Freiman for a live multimedia journey through the creation of the Fab Four’s classic album Revolver at 7 p.m., and/or the creation of Strawberry Fields Forever, Penny Lane, and A Day in the Life at 9 p.m. Scott Freiman combines his knowledge of The Beatles with a career as a composer and producer. Tuesday, 4.3.—Jaclyn Gallucci

Beer Pong Tourneys @ Mulcahy’s $20 per team, cash prizes, $6 pitchers. Wednesdays.

Wild Flag @ Webster Hall Wild Flag was originally created for the purposes of writing and performing the score of Lynn Hershman Leeson’s 2009 documentary Women Art Revolution. Featuring Carrie Brownstein and Janet Weiss (Sleater-Kinney), Mary Timony (Helium) and Rebecca Cole (The Minders), this indie rock quartet instead evolved into a unit that works collectively and avoids typical supergroup drama. The group’s 10-track self-titled debut is everything you’d hope for — kick-ass songs fueled by well-honed, intuitive playing. As good as it sounds in the studio, Wild Flag promises even greater awesomeness at the Webster Hall. With Hospitality.—Dave Gil de Rubio JIM DINE/PINOCCHIO @ NASSAU COUNTY MUSEUM OF ART A painter, sculptor and graphic artist, Dine’s art often incorporates images of everyday life, such as tools, rope, shoes, neckties and other articles of clothing. Culled from a sculpture exhibition first organized by New York City’s Pace Gallery, the exhibit features works based on Carlo Collodi’s novel, The Adventures of Pinocchio, including sculptures of the title character and a 40-piece print series illustrating Dines’ homage to the classic tale. The museum’s main galleries will be devoted to several themes: the artist’s Heart and Venus works, Gardening and Carpentry Tool imagery, and recent Pinocchio sculptures. Several major sculptural works will be installed outdoors on the museum’s expansive 145-acre sculpture park and nature preserve, including The Mountains in the Distance. This iconic bronze work from 1987-88 places the Venus de Milo form on its side, abstracting the vertical of the figure to evoke a horizontal of a landscape. The museum will daily screen two films illuminating Dine’s work and artistic process: A Self Portrait on the Walls at 11:30 a.m., 12:30 p.m. and 3 p.m.; and All About Looking at 12 p.m., 1 p.m. & 3:30 p.m. Opens 3.31. Through 7.8. —Daphne Livingston

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Artisan Fine Craft Spring Fling @ Garden City Field House Artisans sell handcrafted works including jewelry, fiber, stained glass, original art, turned wood, clothing, floral arrangements, gourmet foods, ceramics, handmade soaps, and much more. 3.31-4.1—MV Trivia Nite @ Napper Tandy’s Northport Tuesdays. Text in Art @ Heckscher Museum 24 works of words, lettering, or numbers as subject. Through 4.15. thursday 3.29 Paramount Comedy Series @ The Paramount

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Long Island Beer & Kentucky Bourbon Dinner @ The Cull House, 5-7 p.m. friday 3.30 Bay Shore Pub Crawl @ The Nutty Irishman, Declan Quinns, The Cortland, Changing Times & TJ Finley’s, 7 p.m. www. harborbrewing.com. In Our Own VoiceWomen Veterans Tell Their Story @ Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock, 7:30 p.m. Monologues based on intensive interviews with women veterans and current service-women. Hitchcock Weekend @ Bay Street Theatre Screenings of The Lady Vanishes & Rear Window. Also 3.31. Spider Bite Tasting @ Syosset Beverage, 4-7 p.m. Bobby Rondinelli (Blue Oyster Cult) @ Katie’s Jazz w/ Rick Braun & Richard Elliot @ Paramount, 8 p.m. Badfinger featuring Joey Molland @ YMCA Boulton Center That 70’s Band @ Ollies Point With 45 RPM, Voices (Police tribute) & The Continued on page 28

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Do This Continued from page 27 /////////////////////

Southside Players.

Laidback Luke @ Glo

Rory Block @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts

Angelo Tsarouchas @ Governor’s Comedy Club, 8 p.m., Also 3.31, 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m.

Morne/The Swan King/Git Some/ Gang Signs @ St. Vitus Jenny Owens Young/ Aunt Martha @ Mercury Lounge With Gregory and The Hawk. The Revival Tour @ Bowery Ballroom With Chuck Ragan (Hot Water Music), Dan Andriano (Alkaline Trio), Tommy Gabel (Against Me!), Cory Branan & Jenny Owens Young. Ian Hunter/Graham Parker @ Bell House This Century @ Vibe Lounge With Mikel James & Brittany Breakdown. Rick Braun & Richard Elliot @ The Paramount LI Spring Home Show @ Nassau Coliseum, Also 3.31 & 4.1.

March Comedy Madness @ Governor’s, 10:30 p.m. saturday 3.31 Dwight Gooden/ Goose Island Beer @ TAG Beverage, 2-5 p.m. Rescue Ink Pet Fundraiser @ Sarant Cadillac, 11 a.m.3 p.m. Join Petco New Hyde Park and Sarant for a meet & greet with the guys from Rescue Ink and see the available animals up for adoption. Raffles, prizes and I apparel will be available for donations. They Come to America @ Guild Hall, 7:45 p.m. An unbiased look at the human and financial costs of illegal immigration, with a strong Hamptons presence. The Music of Billy

gg HUNTS

Joel w/ Captain Jack @ Dix Hills Performing Arts Center Soap Stars Scott & Melissa Reeves @ Brokerage, 2 p.m. LI CSA Fair @ Cinema Arts Centre, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. www. nofany.org/csafair.

94X Eggsapalooza @ Bethpage Ballpark, 8:30 a.m. registration. Egg hunts begin at 11:30 p.m. Free. Join the Long Island Ducks and 94X for a traditional Easter egg hunt, with three different age groups covering all ages. There will also be bounce rides, arts & crafts, activities, photo ops with the Easter Bunny, QuackerJack and Sparky the Dragon, food, beverages and more. Fans can pre-register at www. my94x.com. Saturday, 3.31.

April Fool’s Comedy Jam w/ Eddie Griffin @ NYCB Theatre Welcome to Lawn Guyland: A One Man Show @ Theatre Three Heart Screen NY Initiative Free Cardiac Screening @ Walt Whitman High School This free event is open to all students ages 12-24 from any school. The screening will consist of a hearth health survey, heart sounds physical, ECG and Echocardiogram. www.la12.org.

Simon Youth Foundation Easter Egg Hunt @ Walt Whitman Mall, Route 110, Huntington Station. 8:30 a.m., $5 Kids ages 3 to 9 fill their baskets in the name of charity, while searching for 1,500 multi-colored plastic eggs filled with candy and toys, hidden in the

Jazz @ Inn at Great Neck, 7:30 p.m. Jazz vocalist Lisa Gary and her band. Bowling Fundraiser Night in honor of Spc. Daniel A. Fuentes, Levittown Soldier @ South Continued on page 30

registration center common area. After the hunt, visit with the Easter Bunny for face painting, balloon creations and temporary tattoos. Saturday, 3.31. Spring Egg Hunt @ Belmont Lake State Park, North Babylon, Noon-2 p.m. $8 parking fee. Egg hunts will be every 15 minutes, beginning at 12:15 p.m. and each hunt will be divided into three groups: ages 4 and under; ages 5-6, and ages 7-9. Aside from the hunt, there will be a petting zoo, temporary tattoos, pony rides, environmental crafts, a visit by the Spring Bunny and more. Saturday, 3.31.

Oakdale Chamber of Commerce Annual Easter Egg Hunt @ Dowling College, Idle Hour Blvd., Oakdale. Noon-1 p.m. Gather on the beautiful front lawn for some

outdoor egg huntin’ fun. Saturday, 3.31.

51st Annual Easter Egg Hunt @ Long Beach, Magnolia Boulevard and West Bay Drive. 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. An outdoor hunt for eggs filled with goodies suitable for kids ages 9 and younger. The hunt will be broken down into half-hour blocks by age, and prizes will be awarded in all age groups. Bring your own baskets! Saturday, 3.31. Egg Hunt @ Country Fair Entertainment Park, 3351 Route 112, Medford. 10:30 a.m. $9 per child, parents may accompany children at no cost. Bring your own basket and camera for an egg and scavenger hunt, a visit from the Easter Bunny, snacks, moonbounce, slide and crafts. Egg hunt for

2-6 years old held at 11:15 a.m., 7-10 years old at 11:30 a.m., Easter activities will run until 1 p.m. following the hunt. Saturday, 3.31.

Easter Egg Hunt @ Theodore Roosevelt Sanctuary and Audubon Center, 134 Cove Rd. Oyster Bay. 10:30 a.m.-4 p.m. $8 per child, adults free. Children ages 2-10 create their own decorated baskets and hunt for eggs along the trails. Registration: 516-922-3200. Saturday, 4.7. Spring Egg Hunt @ Deepwells Farm County Park, Route 25A and Moriches Road, St. James. 11 a.m. Free. An outdoor egg hunt held on the front lawn for children 12 and younger. Saturday, 4.7. Egg-stravaganza @ Connetquot

River State Park Preserve, Sunrise Highway, Oakdale. 10-11:30 a.m.. $4 adult, $3 child, $8 parking fee. Bring three hard boiled eggs to decorate and children ages 5 and older, egg hunt to follow, open to children ages 5 and older. Advanced registration: 631581-1005. Saturday, 4.7. 8th Annual Penguin Egg Hunt @ LI Aquarium & Exhibition Center, 431 E. Main St., Riverhead. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Included in aquarium admission. A hunt with plenty of great prizes, including a free birthday party, vouchers, Tour Boat tickets, and rides on both the Discovery Tower and Submarine Simulator! Saturday, 4.7. Easter Egg Hunt @ Benner’s Farm, 56 Gnarled Hollow Rd., Setauket. 1 p.m.. $2 per child. Bring your own basket and a camera and go hunting for hidden egg treats! Sunday, 4.8. —Jaclyn Gallucci

One of the top hospitals in the country for cardiology and heart surgery.

-U.S.News & World Report

No other hospital on Long Island can make that statement.

And no other hospital on Long Island can say it’s made the U.S.News & World Report list of the country’s best hospitals for cardiology and heart surgery the last five years in a row. Or that it performs more heart surgeries than any other hospital in New York State. And that dominance should continue because St. Francis is a premier center for clinical trials in cardiac imaging and treatments. So, while there are many excellent hospitals on Long Island, when it comes to your heart, there’s only one.

Member of Catholic Health Services of Long Island. 100 Port Washington Blvd., Roslyn, N Y 11576 For a physician referral, call 1-888 -HEARTN Y. w w w. s t f r a n c i s he a r t c e nt e r. c om

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“HILARIOUS FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.”

Continued from page 28 /////////////////////

Levittown Lanes, 7:30 p.m. $20 pp includes three hours of bowling, pizza, soda and prizes.

– DEBBIE LYNN ELIAS, CULVER CITY OBSERVER

Shelby Lynne @ Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center Rockin’ Fights 3 @ The Paramount, 7 p.m. Chris Algieri vs. Winston Mathis. Walk of Historic Changes @ Nissequogue River State Park, 10 a.m. A 3-mile walking tour of the Kings Park Psychiatric Hospital. Rashaad Newsome: Collages & Sculpture @ Nassau Museum of Art Intensely detailed collages. Through 7.8. The Midtown Men @ Tilles Center Jordan Knight @ Irving Plaza

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STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 30TH AT THEATRES EVERYWHERE! NO PASSES ACCEPTED

LONG ISLAND PRESS THURS 3.29 4-313x5-563 NS all.mrm-4-313x5-563-4c.0329.lip

Give your kids a break from spring break. LIRR Deals & Getaways to NYC.

It’s that time again – a great excuse to explore the city with Long Island Rail Road’s NYC Deals & Getaways. You’ll save money with discounted rail and admissions. The New York International Auto Show rolls in from April 6 -15. Or visit the USS Intrepid, the American Museum of Natural History, or choose from many other packages. For details visit “Deals & Getaways” at mta.info/lirr. Or call 511 and say “LIRR.” School may be out, but NYC is in session.

Paul Barrere & Fred Tackett: The Guitarists of Little Feat @ Highline Ballroom Jimmy Webb @ YMCA Boulton Center A songwriting wunderkind who penned numerous classics, nowadays Jimmy Webb calls the North Shore home. And while getting elected Chairman of the Songwriters Hall of Fame was a major feather in his cap, Webb has continued recording with 2010’s star-studded Just Across the River being his latest. —DGdR Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. @ Brooklyn Bowl With Ms. Mr. (Also

with Cookies & The Hard Lesson 4.1 @ Bowery Ballroom. Eddie Griffin @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury The Long Island Book & Ephemera Fair @ Hofstra, 11 am.-6 p.m. Fine, rare old books alongside ephemera. Also 4.1, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. The Good Rats @ B.B. King Blues Club & Grill The much-loved LI Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees have a rabid cult following dating back to the ’70s glory days when they played local haunts like Hammerheads and the Mad Hatter alongside Rat Race Choir and Mazarin. Recent years have found the Rats playing the entire Tasty album, and with Hank Williams no longer welcome providing the theme song for Monday Night Football, who’s to say the Rats’ “Football Madness” shouldn’t have a decent shot at filling that slot?— DGdR Swervedriver @ Bowery Ballroom With Heaven. Rosie Thomas @ Joe’s Pub Wyclef Jean @ City Winery Gemuetlichen Enzianer Annual Bauernball @ Plattduetsche Park Restaurant, 6:30 p.m. Dinner, refreshments, music by The Heimat Klaenge, plus Bavarian Schuhplattler dancing. Good Lessons from

Bad Women @ Brentwood Public Library, 2 p.m. A devilishly funny one-woman show. Leo Kottke @ Landmark on Main Street One of the more seminal musical moments of my life occurred when a neighbor in my dorm played me a copy of 6- and 12-String Guitar, the 1971 studio debut by Leo Kottke when I was a college sophomore. I’d never heard of the guy, but the magic he conjured up on these 14 instrumentals left my head spinning. His guitar playing also convinced legendary iconoclast John Fahey to release this fleetfingered project on his label Takoma Records. Kottke’s last effort, 2005’s Sixty Six Steps, found him reteaming with fan and friend Mike Gordon, who returned to his day job playing bass for Phish in 2009.—DGdR Sunday 4.1 Mythbusters @ NYCB Theatre, 8 p.m. Zebra @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury Isabella Rossellini @ Cinema Arts Centre, 5 p.m. With restaurateur Martin Butera for a delicious evening of film, food, conversation and screening of Big Night. April Fool’s Day Reception @ Ripe Art Gallery, 2-5 p.m. With pop artist Stanko.

Meet @ MacArthur Airport, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Presented by LongIslandcars.com. Girls Night Out & Mingle Singles Event @ Cactus Salon & Spa, 3-8 p.m. www. weekenddating.com He Said/She Said Greek Comedy Show @ Brokerage, 7:30 p.m. Journey into Iroquoia: Celebration of Traditional Mohawk Culture @ Cinema Arts Centre, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Delusions @ Vibe Lounge With Ever Forthright, Upon the City Sky, Monroe, My Iron Heart, Necroshine & Shell Complex. Powerlifter @ Broadway Bar With Waxeater, DJ FTC, AfroDjMac, The Empty Sky & This Damn Universe. Incognito @ B.B. King Blues Club Marky Ramone’s Blitzkrieg @ Bell House Citizen Cope @ City Winery Through April 5. Monday 4.2 Ridley Pearson @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Author of Kingdom Keepers. The Ventures @ B.B. King Blues Club Andrew W.K. @ Webster Hall With MATH the Band & Aleister X.

The Magic Garden 40th Birthday @ YMCA Boulton Center, Noon. With Paula, Carole and Sherlock!

Jonny Corndawg @ Mercury Lounge With Shovels & Ropes, Robert Ellis & Colin Langenus.

Long Island Car Show and Swap

Continued on page 32

The Used appear at Looney Tunes in Babylon at 7 p.m. Tuesday, 4.3 for an acoustic performance and autograph signing celebrating the release of their new album, Vulnerable. CD or Vinyl LP pre-order required. Visit www.looneytunescds.com for details.

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 32

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Do You Have Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus?

THIS WEEKEND CALLS FOR:

MATINEE MADNESS

Winthrop-University Hospital Clinical Trials Center

is seeking volunteers with type 2 Diabetes Mellitus for a clinical research study of an investigational medication.

he fun begins this weekend with two great afternoon games! Join us for some intense hockey action and a great time in our matinee spectacular that is sure to entertain everyone!

To be eligible for the study, you must: � be 18-65 years of age � be diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus

SATURDAY, MARCH 31ST @ 1PM

VS. BRUINS

SUNDAY, APRIL 1ST @ 3PM

VS. SENATORS

Eligible participants will receive study-required medications and study-related medical care.

FAN APPRECIATION DAY:

The best Day of the Year to be a Fan! There will be Giveaways, Prizes & More!

MENTION: LONG ISLAND PRESS

GET yOUR TICKETS NOW: CALL TICKETMASTER:

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GO TO: NASSAU COLISEUM BOX OFFICE OR VISIT: TICKETMASTER.COM • NEWYORKISLANDERS.COM

For more information, call 516-663-9582 or e-mail clinicaltrials@winthrop.org Visit us online at: www.winthrop.org/departments/clinical/ctn Conveniently located 1/2 block from the LIRR in Mineola.

FIRST NHL GAME AT THE BARCLAyS CENTER

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OcTObER 2, 20I2 • T IcK E T S O N S A L E N OW ! TO PURCHASE TICKETS: BARCLAYSCENTER.COM • TICKETMASTER.COM

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Does Your Child Suffer From Types 2 Diabetes?

3/26/12 11:09 AM

Winthrop-University Hospital Clinical Trials Center is seeking participants for a clinical research study of an oral investigational medication that may help to lower blood sugar in adolescents with type 2 diabetes. To be eligible for the study, your child must: � be 10 - 17 years old � be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes If eligible, your child will receive study-related investigational medication, medical exams and laboratory tests at no cost to you. Reimbursement will also be provided for time and travel expenses. For more information, call 516-663-9582 or e-mail clinicaltrials@winthrop.org Visit us online at: www.winthrop.org/departments/clinical/ctn Conveniently located 1/2 block from the LIRR in Mineola

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Rachel Yamagata @ Highline Ballroom Also appearing with Madi Diax 4.4 @ Music Hall of Williamsburg. SBTRKT @ Webster Hall With Willis Earl Beal & Sepalcure. Tuesday 4.3 The Used @ Looney Tunes, 7 p.m. Occupying Wall Space @ Huntington Public Library, Digital collage drawings by Kate Kelly. Through 5.2. Long Island Philharmonic Orchestra @ Jericho High School, 7:30 pm Lincoln Peirce @ Book Revue, 7 p.m.

Author of Big Nate Goes for Broke. Magnetic Fields @ Beacon Theatre Also 4.4. Cursive @ Bowery Ballroom With Cymbals Eat Guitars & Conduits Also 4.4. wednesday 4.4 Blue October @ The Paramount, 7 p.m. The Houston TX rock outfit comes to Long Island. Headed by Singer Justin Frustenfeld the band brings with them there decade spanning discography. —MV The Ultimate DJ Spinoff @ Nutty Irishman, Farmingdale With four of LI’s hottest DJs including KTU’s DJ Prime and

DJ Cory P. Open bar from 9-10 p.m. Mary & Carol Higgins Clark @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Princess Katie & Racer Steve @ Portledge School, 8:40 a.m. The popular children’s band performs songs dealing with issues kids face on a daily basis. James Hunter @ B.B. King Blues Club Blue October @ The Paramount Adema @ Ollies Point With Brand New Sin, Beta Plus Embryo & Last Stand for Lucy. The Naked and the Famous @ Terminal 5 With Vacationer & Now, Now. Hunx & His Punx @ Mercury Lounge With Heavy Cream.

Where it’s At Do This Venue Information Nassau County

Commack

westbury.com

Brokerage—2797 Merrick Oh My Girls—140 Jericho Rd, Bellmore. 516-785Tpke., Syosset. 516-8028655. www.brokerage5800. www.ohmygirls.com comedy.com Ollies Point—140 Merrick Garden City Field Rd., Amityville. 516-208House— 295 Stewart Ave, 6590. www.clubloaded. Garden City com Glo—737 Merrick Ave.— Plattdeutsche Park BierWestbury. 516-794-8022. garten—1132 Hempstead www.glownightclubli.com Tpke., Franklin Square. 516-354-3131. www. Governor’s—90 Division parkrestaurant.com Ave., Levittown. 516-7313358. www.govs.com Portledge School— 355 Duck Pond Road, Locust Hofstra—Hempstead Turn- Valley. pike, Hempstead. www. hofstra.edu Sarant Cadillac—4339 Hempstead Tpke., FarmInn at Great Neck— 30 ingdale Cutter Mill Road Great Neck, South Levittown Lanes— 56 Tanners Lane, LevitJericho High School— town 99 Old Cedar Swamp Road Jericho Syosset Beverage—600 Jericho Tpke., Syosset. Landmark on Main 516-496-7271. www. Street— 232 Main St., beercave.com Port Washington. 516767-6444. www.landmar- Tilles Center— 720 Northkonmainstreet.org ern Boulevard, Greenvale, Marine Corps Center—605 Stewart Ave Garden City Mulcahy’s—3232 Railroad Ave., Wantagh. 516-783-7500. www. muls.com Nassau Coliseum—1255 Hempstead Tpke., Uniondale. 631-920-1203. www.nassaucoliseum. com Nassau County Museum of Art—1 Museum Dr., Roslyn Harbor. 516-4849337. www.nassaumuseum.com Nutty Irishman Farmingdale—323 Main St., Farmingdale. 516-2939700. www.thenuttyirishman.com NYCB Theatre at Westbury—960 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury. 877-5988694. www.thetheatreat-

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Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock— 48 Shelter Rock Rd., Manhasset Vibe Lounge—60 N. Park Ave., Rockville Centre. 516-208-6590. www. vibeloungeli.com

Suffolk County Bay Street Theatre—The Long Wharf, Sag Harbor. 631-725-9500. www. baystreet.org Book Revue—313 New York Ave., Huntington. 631-271-1442. www. bookrevue.com

Raul Midon @ Joe’s Pub, Also 4.5. Thursday 4.5 Naval Enlisted Reserve Association Meeting @ Marine Corps Center, 7:30 p.m. Open to all maritime service, reserve, active duty, veterans and all shipmates. 516-5260144. Amanda Beard @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Olympic swimmer and author of In The Water They Can’t See You Cry. Ozric Tentacles @ B.B. King Blues Club Our Lady Peace @ Bowery Ballroom With The Pack A.D. Chick Corea @ Highline Ballroom Tyler Hilton @ Ollies Point With Dion Roy and Will & Dakota. Westhampton Beach. 631-288-1500. www. whbpac.org YMCA Boulton Center—37 W. Main St., Bay Shore. 631-969-1101. www.boultoncenter.org

Cinema Arts Centre—423 Manhattan Park Ave., Huntington. www.cinemaartscentre. B.B. Kings Blues Club org & Grill—237 West 42nd The Cull House— 75 Terry St. 212-997-4144. www. bbkingblues.com St., Sayville Dix Hills Performing Arts Center—305 N. Service Rd., Dix Hills. www.dhpac. org

Beacon Theatre—2124 Broadway. 212-4656500. www.beacontheatre.com

Guild Hall—158 Main St., East Hampton

Best Buy Theater—1515 Broadway. 212-930-1950. www.bestbuytheater.com

Heckscher Museum of Art—2 Prime Ave., Huntington. 631-351-3250. www.heckscher.org Huntington Public Library, 338 Main St., Huntington Katie’s of Smithtown—145 W. Main St., Smithtown. 631-3608556.

Bowery Ballroom—6 Delancey St. 212-5332111. www.boweryballroom.com City Winery—155 Varick St. 212-608-0555. www. citywinery.com Highline Ballroom—431 W. 16th St. 212-4145994. www.highlineballroom

Looney Tunes—31 Irving Plaza—17 Irving Brookvale Ave., West Babylon. 631-587-7722. Pl. 212-777-6800. www. www.looneytunescds.com irvingplaza.com MacArthur Airport— Route 454, Ronkonkoma

Joe’s Pub—425 Lafayette St. 212-539-8778. www. joespub.com

Napper Tandy’s NorthMercury Lounge—217 E. port—229 Laurel Ave., Northport. 631-757-4141. Houston St. 212-2604700. www.mercuryloungwww.nappertandys.com enyc.com Nissequogue River State Park—Main Street, Kings Terminal 5—610 W. 56th St. 212-582-6600. www. Park terminal5nyc.com Paramount—370 New Webster Hall—125 E 11th York Ave., Huntington St. 212-353-1600. www. Ripe Art Gallery—67A websterhall.comwebsterBroadway, Greenlawn. hall.com www.ripeartgal.com

TAG Beverage— 960 Main Brooklyn St., Holbrook Bell House—149 Seventh Theatre Three— 412 Main St. 718-643-6510. www. thebellhouseny.com Brentwood Public Library St., Port Jefferson, Broadway Bar—198 Broadway, Amityville. 631-753-1975. www. clubloaded.com Cactus Salon & Spa— 106-110 Jericho Tpke.,

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Walt Whitman High School—301 West Hills Rd., Huntington Station

Brooklyn Bowl—61 Wythe Ave. 718-963-3369. www. brooklynbowl.com

Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center—76 Main St.,

St. Vitus—1120 Manhattan Ave. www.saintvitusbar.com

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Welcome to South Shore Sportsman

ADVertorIAL

Long IsLand’s resource for tactIcaL suppLIes. B e s t

o f

L . I .

W I n n e r

Winner 1st Place Best sPorting goods store South Shore Sportsman is not your average dusky lit, whispering gun store. From the moment you enter the store, which is well lit, clean and totally visible from the road (no blacked out storefront windows) you will feel extremely at ease and comfortable. The staff is very friendly and helpful from the first time buyer to the experienced marksmen. We supply our clientele with a full line of tactical brand names and the experience to guide you through your purchase. Our educated staff offers professional and courteous service with extensive knowledge in firearms, optics and tactical supplies. south shore sPortsman offers “real tag” Pricing. Our pricing is honest, competitive and is backed by outstanding customer service. We are family friendly as well. While in the store you may see a few father and son customers shopping or you might find the kids in the lounge area equipped with a TV, magazines, and books to keep the family occupied while dad and mom shop. That’s right; women young and old are about 50% of our customer base. need a Product asaP? South Shore Sportsman, in just four years of operation has developed an AAA rating with its distributors. We receive the latest products from manufactures like; H & K, Kimber, Benelli, Glock, Bushmaster, FN Herstal and 5.11 Tactical just to name a few. If there is a product we do not have in stock... Rest assured that if it’s available… It will be in your hands within 72 hours. We dedicate ourselves on the customer experience, by providing you with a professional and knowledgeable staff.

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not Just a gun store… The need for a one-stop shop for firearms and accessories is not a new concept that has now become common practice in today’s industry. South Shore Sportsman has taken this concept much further by offering Tactical Training, Security Guard Certification and Hunter Safety courses in our training facility located on premises. We strive to develop new practices to enhance our customer experience and loyalty.

9 Lansdowne Ave. Merrick, NY 11566 (516) 992-0004 http://sportsmanli.com

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PURE...

Luxury Feng Shui Design Luxurious Accommodations Ultra-Modern Fitness Facility Asian Fusion Bar/Restaurant Banquet/Meeting Facilities State-of-the Art Spa & Salon Pamper yourself and your guests with our special bridal treatment packages

3998 Brush Hollow Road, Westbury, NY 11590 516-338-7777 • 516-333-5013 (Fax) www.vianahotelandspa.com

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Cheers... To New Beginnings

New Management. New Menus. New Commitment to Excellence.

The Inn at Great Neck would like to be your host when celebrating the next special occasion in your life. Enjoy luxurious banquet settings and an array of exquisite menu options.

Join us for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Spend an evening in our bar and lounge and discover your new favorite dining experience.

• Bridal Showers • Rehearsal Dinners • Post Wedding Brunches • Intimate Weddings • Anniversary Parties • Birthday Parties • Bat Mitzvahs • Bar Mitzvahs To schedule an appointment, please call 516-773-2000. We’re prepared to exceed your expectations.

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LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK

30 Cutter Mill Rd, Great Neck, NY 11021 • www.innatgreatneck.com

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Adoption Pregnant? Consider a loving, courageous adoption plan. FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE, free confidential help, local agency, choose from pre-approved families. Photos/updates available. Call Joy: 914-9391180. www.ForeverFamiliesThroughAdoption. org. Auctions Full Circle Tag Sales, call Cynthia at 631-9442562. A professional estate & tag sale service that focuses on your goals & maximizes revenue Autos Wanted DONATE VEHICLE: RECEIVE $1000 GROCERY COUPONS. National Animal Welfare Foundation. Support NO KILL Shelters. Help Homeless Pets. Free Towing, TAX DEDUCTIBLE, NONRUNNERS Accepted 1-888-333-3848 CASH FOR CARS! We Buy ANY Car or Truck, Running or NOT! Damaged, Wrecked, Salvaged OK! Get a top dollar INSTANT offer today! 1-800-267-1591 Free Vacation for donating vehicles, boats, property, collectables and merchandise. Maximize IRS deductions while helping teens in crisis. Quick Prompt Service 1-800-338-6724 www.dvarinst.com Buildings for Sale HAS YOUR BUILDING SHIFTED OR SETTLED? Contact Woodford Brothers Inc, for straightening, leveling, foundation and wood frame repairs at 1-800-OLD-BARN. www.woodfordbros. com.Suffolk Cty~ License #41959-H Nassau Cty~ License #H18G7160000 Career Opportunities CDLA Training (Tractor/ Trailer) Experience new challenges. Conditional pre hires (prior to training), financial-aid, housing if qualified.† National Tractor Trailer School Liverpool/Buffalo, NY Branch 1-888243-9320 www.ntts.edu Computer Repair

Very rapid turnaround times. Full repairs and tune-ups. Hardware specialist with well below retail prices. Setups networking and general help. All problems addressed in terms that are easy to understand. Very friendly and honest with hundreds of references of already happy customers. NO HOURLY FEES. Lowest price guaranteed. Call Justin 631-355-0567 Condos For Sale NAPLES FLORIDA AREA! Bank Acquired Luxury Condos. Brand new 2BR/2BA, only $239,900. Same unit sold for $624,771. Own for below builder cost in warm, sunny SW Florida! High-end community -walk to over 20 restaurants/ 100 shops! Must see. Call 1-866959-2825, x 43 For Sale Privacy Hedges - Blowout Sale 6’ Arborvitae (cedar) Reg $129 Now $59 Beautiful, Nursery Grown. FREE Installation & FREE delivery 518-536-1367 www. lowcosttrees.com Will beat any offer! Help Wanted Drivers- FLEXIBLE HOMETIME! Up to $.42/ mile plus $.02/ mile quarterly safety bonus -Daily pay -New trucks -CDL- A, 3 months recent experience required. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com AIRLINES ARE HIRING- Train for hands on Aviation Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified- Job Placement Assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (866)296-7093 INSURANCE INSPECTOR PT for the Bronx, Kings, Hamptons/ Sag Harbor. Work independently in the field to verify measurements and condition of homes for insurance companies. No Sales! Paid Training! Computer experience, digital camera, car, cell phone required. Knowledge of home construction and customer service experience a plus. Production

LPNs & CNAs TAKE YOUR PICK! We have many great opportunities for you! CNA certification or LPN licensure required. Generous salaries. EOE

Call Melissa: 516.422.7813 Or fax resume: 516.938.2228

Weightloss Medications Phentermine, Phendimetrazine, etc Office visit & one month supply for $80

(631) 462-6161 & (516) 754-6001 Client: Perfect Choice Staffing www.MDThin.com Publication: Community Newspaper LOOK Group YOUR BEST Issue Date: 3/21/12 Size: 3.792 x 2” BW This ad prepared by SMM Advertising 631-265-5160

based pay, start at $14 hr. Very achievable $18$22 hr. for motivated employees. Apply at: www.mueller-inc.com Reference #17316 Land For Sale Virginia Seaside Lots -Absolute buy of a lifetime! Fully improved 3 acre lots, exclusive development on the seaside (the mainland) overlooking Chincoteague Bay and islands. Gated entrance, paved roads, caretaker, community dock, pool and club house including owners guest suites. Build the house of your dreams! Unique bank foreclosure situation makes these lots available at 1/3 of original cost. Great climate, low taxes and National Seashore beaches nearby.

Only $49,000 each or pond lots $65,000. Tel. (757) 824-5284 website: http://ViewWebPage.com/5EUO or email: oceanlandtrust@ yahoo.com Lots & Acreage WATERFRONT LAND LIQUIDATION March 31st! 7 acres, 400 ft Riverfront$69,900! Cooperstown, NY! Nice woods, gorgeous setting! $5,000 off for cash! Free kayak! Call now! (888)9058847 www.NewYorkLandandLakes.com Miscellaneous ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV certi-

fied. Call 888-201-8657 www.CenturaOnline.com Music Gear CENTER STAGE MUSIC We Buy/Sell/Trade/ Repair all fine new & used gear. Guaranteed lowest price on everything from amps to guitars, PAs, DJ equipment, lighting, etc. Professional technician on site. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Open Mon.-Thurs. 11-6pm Fri & Sat. 11-9pm. 18-40 Newbridge Rd., Bellmore. Mention this ad. Get a discount. 516557-2527 Vacation Rentals OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/ partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Es-

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Wanted to Buy Wanted : Will Pay Up to $15.00 For High School Yearbooks 1900-1988. Any School / Any State. Yearbookusa@yahoo. com or 972-768-1338 Waterfront PropertiesUnbelievable Pricing!! $49,500; Landscaped Lots!! Located- Virginia-

Eastern Shore HUNTING CREEKWATERFRONT LOTS. CALL TODAY!! 10 LOTS AVAILABLE!! (443)6148793; wadavis3@ hotmail.com

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A Free Cell Phone And Free Monthly Minutes For New York Residents Eligible residents may now apply for Assurance Wireless, a Lifeline Assistance program brought to you by Virgin Mobile and supported by the federal Universal Service Fund. Whether you need a phone for emergencies, or to stay connected, Assurance Wireless provides eligible residents with a free cell phone and 250 free voice minutes each month.

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If Eligible, You Get All This – FREE! • Free Cell Phone • Free 250 voice

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It costs nothing to apply for Assurance Wireless, and there’s no obligation. Call today to see if you qualify for a free cell phone and 250 free nationwide voice minutes each month. Or, to print an application now, go to www.assurancewireless.com Call Monday to Sunday, 9AM to 9PM

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1-877-566-1281 The Worry-Free Way To Stay Connected

Offer limited to eligible customers (varies by state) residing in selected geographic areas and is non-transferable. Assurance Wireless is brought to you by Virgin Mobile USA and is a Lifeline Assistance program supported by the federal Universal Service Fund program. One Lifeline Assistance phone line per household. Additional voice minutes and text messages are 10¢ each. Domestic text prices are to send and receive. Int’l services are extra. Airtime charges apply when accessing voicemail via an Assurance Wireless phone once free minutes have been depleted. Minimum Top-Up of $10 may be required. Account may expire 150 days after you receive notice of ineligibility for Assurance Wireless service and account balance may be forfeited. State and local sales taxes and fees may apply. See Terms of Service for details. Nationwide Sprint® Network. Nationwide coverage area reaches more than 280 million people. Coverage not available everywhere. Visit virginmobileusa.com to check coverage in your area. Assurance Wireless is subject to the Terms of Service found on www.assurancewireless.com

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Crossword ART WORK ACROSS 1 Mushroom part 4 Demonic 8 Vatican-related 13 Heiss on the ice 18 Hasten 19 Pianist Lupu 20 Venus’ sister 21 Speak one’s mind 22 Art Carney role 24 Art Tatum recording of ‘49 26 Paper quantity 27 - the Hyena (Capp character) 29 Two - kind 30 Organ of equilibrium 31 South American capital 34 Laotian native 38 Wholly 41 Art Rooney’s team 46 Palindromic dictator 47 Wing-ding 48 Croquet arena? 49 Model Carre 52 Pub orders 54 Flask 57 Zimbabwe, formerly 61 Celebratory suffix 62 Alliance 63 Tiriac of tennis 64 61, to Cicero 65 Hosp. areas 67 Stable youngster 70 Casino worker 73 Italian statesman Aldo

75 Art Garfunkel’s partner 78 Travelers’ aids 79 Food fish 81 Lhasa 82 Drink like 81 Across 83 Business abbr. 84 Conger or moray 85 “Jeepers!” 88 “Back in the -” (‘68 song) 92 Composer Verdi 95 Ms. Van Tassel 97 Yearn 98 “Hook” heavy 99 Chutzpah 101 Watch pts. 103 “Bali -” 104 Art Malik series 110 Annoying 113 Depart 114 Tabriz currency 115 Society column word 116 Claire or Balin 118 Bouquet 121 Kite part 124 Art Sansom cartoon 130 Art Fleming hosted it 133 Arrested 134 Hire 135 Mine feature 136 Sportscaster Berman 137 Stout 138 Boca -, FL 139 Kansas city 140 TV chef Martin DOWN 1 “Dark Lady” singer 2 Helper

3 Gridiron calls 4 Drop a brick 5 Tub 6 Superstar 7 Debussy’s “Clair de -” 8 Schoolboy’s shot 9 Joan Van 10 Mile High Center architect 11 Part of A.D. 12 Permissible 13 Dovecote sound 14 Mil. address 15 More mature 16 Actor Patrick 17 Suspicious (of) 20 Reduce to smithereens 23 Skip 25 Abominate 28 Say please too often? 32 Flavor enhancer 33 Problem solver? 35 Tropical spot 36 - impasse 37 Fresh 39 Walked 40 Ferrara first family 41 Chanteuse Edith 42 Eric of “Nuns on the Run” 43 - Bator 44 Rampur royalty 45 Fermi or Caruso 50 Long Island resort 51 At - and sevens 53 Baby bird? 55 Soybean prouct

56 “- Gay” 58 It holds plenty! 59 Lennon’s widow 60 Tune

LEAGUE FOR ANIMAL PROTECTION

66 Caviar 68 Nile slitherer 69 Composer Franz

71 Actress Thurman 72 - New Guinea 73 Frenzied 74 Take place

Sudoku

of Huntington, Inc.

At the tender age of 5 months, Clark was turned in to the shelter by his owner—no reason given. Not the most auspicious start to life, however, if anyone can overcome this it will be Clark. He is smart and friendly, likes other dogs and enjoys going for walks. He has a blast in the yard and loves to play ball but tends to be a little dominant in his interactions regarding high value items, more so with food than toys. For this reason, we recommend a home without small children. It might just be his lack of good experiences that make him feel like he must be on guard but he will need an experienced, compassionate owner to show him a better way of being. Since he’s a very smart, young boy who’s food motivated and eager to please, we know Clark will make a great student. He deserves his shot at a life filled with happiness and love. Will you be the one to give it to him?

Hello, my name is Clark!

75 Nest noise 76 A ccuse tentatively 77 “Wuthering Heights” setting 79 Russian jet 80 Agt. 82 Head 86 Fade, as a flower 87 Move like molasses 89 Academic 90 “The Young Lions” author 91 Harness part 93 Tipplers 94 Canyon sound 95 Swiss artist 96 - breve 100 Shoemaker’s tool 102 Biol. or chem. 105 Mideastern title 106 Decathlete Bruce 107 Tower material? 108 “Waking -

Devine” (‘98 film) 109 Pro - (proportionately) 110 Foreword, for short 111 Change for the better 112 New Hampshire city 117 Soprano Gluck 119 California resort 120 Try again 122 Concept 123 Actress Fontanne 125 Encore exclamation 126 “- Bad Apple” (‘71 song) 127 Select, with “for” 128 - -mo 129 Tons of time 131 Garage supply 132 Child welfare org.

Last Week’s Answers

“Saving the life of one animal may not change the world, but the world will surely change for that one animal.”

631-757-9373 or dogs@LAPHuntington.org www.LAPHuntington.org 38

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T-Mobile’s 4G HSPA+ network not available everywhere; see coverage details at T-Mobile.com. Offer valid March 21-April 3, 2012; subject to change. Participating locations only. Taxes and fees add’l. Devices must be purchased and activated at the same time on the same account. Not all plans or features avail. on all devices. While supplies last. Device Offer: Credit approval, $35/line activation fee, and new activation of a qualifying postpaid Classic or Small Business plan on two-year contract (with up to $200/line early cancellation fee) req’d. At participating locations. Domestic only. Device and screen images simulated. Mail-In Rebate Card: Activation of qualifying plan req’d; must remain active and in good standing at time rebate is processed. Limited to speciﬁc models; supplies may be limited. One device per eligible account. We reserve the right to substitute different models of equal or greater value. Rebate provided in the form of a VISA card. Allow 6-8 weeks for processing. See rebate form for details. Coverage: Coverage not available everywhere. Abnormal Usage: Service may be slowed, suspended, terminated, or restricted for misuse, abnormal use, interference with our network or ability to provide quality service to other users, or signiﬁcant roaming. See brochures and Terms and Conditions (including arbitration provision) at www.T-Mobile.com for additional information. The Android robot is created and shared by Google and used according to the Creative Commons 3.0 attribution license. T-Mobile and the magenta color are registered trademarks of Deutsche Telekom AG. ©2012 T-Mobile USA, Inc.

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