Volume 10, Issue 17 - Paper TIger by Long Island Press

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Sound Smart at a Party A new study has found that people Employees at the BJ’s Wholesale who talk to themselves are actually headquarters in Massachusetts were boosting their brainpower. Researchers rightfully traumatized when a dead found that people who talk out loud find woman’s torso was accidently shipped to items more quickly than their silent coun- them. The body part was supposed to go to

terparts do. Participants were divided up and instructed to either repeat the name of the food they were searching for or search quietly. In most cases the chatterboxes found their food before the other group. But this only works for “objects that people were quite familiar with and knew what they looked like,” lead author of the study Gary Lupyan said. Foods with consistent colors like bananas, grapes and Cheerios had stronger associations with talking than foods with less specific colors… If you think restaurant chains save their grossest, most fattening concoctions for the good ole U. S. of A., think again. Pizza Hut Middle East has just

introduced their latest creation, the “Crown Crust Cheeseburger Pizza.” The pie has entire cheeseburgers decorated along the crust, acting like “gems” around a “crown.” The rest of the pizza continues the burger them with toppings like lettuce, tomatoes, ground beef and a special sauce. There’s also a chicken fillet version for those who want to be more “healthy,” and that features barbecue sauce and green peppers…

a research lab in Florida, but a misprinted label made for a horrifying misunderstanding. Luckily, the employees saw the description of the package before they fully opened it, and immediately notified their supervisors. Another silver lining was that the body wasn’t damaged in the mix-up because it was marked “perishable,” and was sent on its way to Florida. A happy ending for all involved, except the owner of the torso… Well, you can’t say teens aren’t creative. Many youths are participat-

ing in a dangerous new trend where they drink hand sanitizer to get drunk. And the consequences are much more serious than a simple hangover. Six teenagers in Southern California have already ended up in emergency rooms with alcohol poisoning after guzzling the sanitizer, and doctors in the area warn that the craze is just getting started. Teens can find instructions on how to distill the alcohol online, and it makes a 120-proof liquid, which is one VERY strong shot. Even though it may sound disgusting, we grown-ups have to remember that teens don’t have access to regular booze, and hand sanitizers are inexpensive and accessible…

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April 21-28 is National Infant Immunization Week

Call your child’s doctor today!

Fidelis Care is working to keep our members and the community healthy. During National Infant Immunization Week, Fidelis Care would like to remind you that Measles and Chickenpox are just two of the diseases that you can prevent by having your child immunized. Children under the age of 2 don't have all the defenses they need to fight off infection. Immunizations (shots) protect them from dangerous childhood diseases like: • Whooping Cough

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Letters to the Press Fight Road Rage, End Bullying Dear Editor: Like most parents, I find it very disturbing to hear that children are being bullied in our schools, or anywhere else for that matter. I imagine the first place psychologists might look to find the culprit would be the media. True, kids are totally consumed with electronics and it’s a whole new world today. However, I believe the source of this bad behavior might just be closer to home than we’d like to admit. How many times, in the course of the day, have we encountered motorists who bully us? For example, drivers who insist that our behavior—following the speed limit, letting pedestrians cross— will not be tolerated. That if we choose not to speed up to go through a yellow light, that we are a nuisance that must be brushed off like an annoying insect. Or because we choose to follow the law, we must endure an onslaught of assaults such as beeping, cursing and hand gestures. Interestingly, also inside many of these vehicles are innocent little children who are listening to everything that goes on. These little ones are looking up to their parents as their first and most important teacher. The way they figure it, if their parent does something, it must be ok. Children have always imitated Mom and Dad. They learn by example, everyone knows that. Tolerance is learned in the home and this has to include the very first classroom: the car. “Children learn what they live,” is not just a cute saying on a plaque; it’s reality. We grown-ups have to get smarter. Debbie Carbone

Plug LIPA’s Problems Dear Editor: It’s been over a month since the Long Island Power Authority Oversight Committee released its voluminous 191-page report decrying that structural changes are “desperately” needed to address LIPA’s numerous problems— most notably high rates, customer dissatisfaction and billing problems. The committee’s mission statement states that it was “created to analyze the rates and practices to determine if it is working in the best interest of the Suffolk County ratepayers.” If this is the case, then why haven’t they addressed the obvious lack of energy competition through energy service companies? Con Edison customers have more than 170 energy service companies willing to serve their footprint. LIPA has three, and with the structural barriers they have in place, they have virtually no impact on the market price of electricity. As I see it, the only thing that will bring real improvement to the entrenched corrupt and incompetent LIPA culture is competition through energy service companies. As long as LIPA continues to operate as the only game in town, they will continue to abuse their ratepayers and have no incentive to rise up and shake the label as the worst utility in the United States. So if the LIOC is genuinely serious about its mission statement, why hasn’t it addressed the 800-lb. gorilla in the room: LIPA’s shunning of energy service companies? Fixing this structural problem should be the No. 1 thing on their agenda. Eugene Dunn Medford

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C Ex h pr ec e ko ss ut

Sushi

The Target LIRR—bull’s eye The Long Island Rail Road bans alcohol on overnight weekend trains (from midnight to 5 a.m.) out of Penn Station in an effort to curb unruly behavior in transit. Great—now what are we supposed to imbibe in order to tune out all those drunk LIRR a-holes on the train?

State Exams MiLo GUNS

BP—off target The first arrest connected to the BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill is made. Kurt Mix, a former engineer for BP, is accused of deleting more than 200 text messages with his supervisor on his iPhone, after learning they would be collected by the company’s lawyers. Where’s Rupert Murdoch and his fancy phone-hacking technology when you need it?

Sushi—off target A potential new pink slime emerges after a salmonella outbreak is linked to tuna scrape, a substance consisting of pieces of meat scraped from the bone that is used in stuffing spicy tuna rolls. Pink slime? Tuna scrape? Is anyone else getting hungry here or is it just us? State Exams—off target Days after a confusing question about a talking pineapple is cut from NYS reading exams, education officials admit there are also errors—e.g., one question has no right answer—on the math exam. So the students are being taught to take tests, and the tests are riddled with errors. Perfect preparation for the workforce! MiLo—off target Michael Lohan calls Rosie O’Donnell a “talentless failure” after O’Donnell calls Lindsay a disgrace to the role of Elizabeth Taylor. And there is literally no person on Earth more qualified to define “talentless failure” than Michael Lohan! Guns—off target A Virginia welding teacher is arrested and charged with 12 felony counts after allegedly lining his students up, pulling a blank-filled gun on them, and firing multiple shots, just days after the five-year anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings. Oh, come on—if these kids can’t take being subjected to cruel and insane terrorism by their elders, what chance do they stand in the real world?

The Pink Slip John Sterling According to one analyst, the New York Yankees are currently worth upwards of $2.85 billion—one of the two or three most valuable sports franchises in the world. The team’s legacy is unparalleled; they have the highest winning percentage of any team in the history of baseball. So why in God’s name do they employ an utter nincompoop as their radio play-byplay man and “Voice of the Yankees”? Indeed, we’re talking of none other than John Sterling, he of the inane home-run calls and the propensity to discourage statistical analysis because, of course, “You can’t predict baseball!” Yes, that pompous, ill-informed, near-blind John. And on Wednesday, April 18, John botched a call in so many ways that we just can’t let his tenure continue another moment. It was the final play of the game between the Yanks and Twins, and this was Sterling’s call: “Swung on and drilled to deep right field! That ball is gonna be [long pause] a foul ball. [Long pause] Whoa. [Pause]. Oh, no, excuse me. Down in the corner it was caught. I thought it was going to be foul, but Clete Thomas went over and made the catch in the corner.” Worse still? Even this was inaccurate! As Phil Mushnick noted in the Post, “The video showed the Twins’ Clete Thomas to have taken a few steps to his left before making a routine catch of a ball hit fairly deep to nearstraightaway right.” Listen here, John: The Grandyman can, but you sure can’t. Not anymore. So please, read over this Teix Message and consider yourself—like, perhaps, an A-Bomb! From A-Rod!—to be high, far…and gone.

The Quote

“No obvious human remains were found. The search has formally ended.” —NYPD spokesman Paul Browne on the results of last week’s four-day excavation of a Prince Street basement, which police thought would reveal new evidence on the disappearance of 6-year-old Etan Patz, who was last seen 33 years ago as he walked the two blocks from his SoHo apartment to catch the school bus.

The Photo In this Oct. 7, 1914 photo provided by the New York City Municipal Archives, painters are suspended from wires on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York. Over 870,000 photos from an archive that exceeds 2.2 million images have been scanned and made available online for the first time, giving a global audience a view of a rich collection that documents life in New York City. (AP Photo/New York City Municipal Archives, Department of Bridges/Plant & Structures, Eugene de Salignac)

The Equation

GOP - Michelle Bachmann - John Huntsman - Herman Cain - Rick Santorum - Newt Gingrich = Well, it could be worse!

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The Rundown

1. MEET VINNY FROM JERSEY SHORE: Vinny is usually the voice of reason and the brains— AKA the normal one—on Jersey Shore, that is if you too consider your goal in life to have sex with two lesbians in one night normal. Meet the man who lived the dream as he discusses his anxiety issues and his latest book, Control the Crazy, at the Book Revue April 27 at 7 p.m. If you don’t have anxiety, no worries, we’re sure he’ll answer all your GTL questions, offer up a fist pump and most likely let you squeeze his buns, too. 2. GET A FREE JR. CONE: Carvels across Long Island are giving away free Junior Soft Serve Cones on April 26 from 3 to 7 p.m. in celebration of their grand re-opening. What does that mean? Employees will wear retro-inspired uniforms and whip up a brand spankin’ new bonnet—one of the first-time caramel, cotton candy, peanut butter and cake mix flavors or the standard chocolate—and unveil a new look and a new menu. While you’re there, try the Girl Scout Cookie Sundae Dashers in Samoa, Tagalong and Thin Mint. If only this place were open for breakfast… 3. DOWNLOAD THE BEST OF LONG ISLAND APP: Okay, so we’re tooting our own horn a bit here, but if you have a horn worth tooting, shouldn’t it be tooted? Let us rephrase. The Best of Long Island app, the culmination of all your votes for everything from the Best Lobster Roll to the Best Car Wash on Long Island, all wrapped up in one little app. Yeah, you’re welcome.

4. DANCE AROUND THE MAY POLE IN CENTRAL PARK: Forget about the real housewives of New York City—they’re scary and dangerous—party with the real witches of NYC instead. They’re a lot more fun. The annual Beltane Celebration kicks off the lusty month of May on Central Park’s Great Hill April 29 from 2 to 5 p.m. Beltane, one of the most important festivals of the pagan year, is a celebration of creation, nature and sensuality. 5. GOOGLE “LADY GAGA SOUTH KOREA”: Not only does the Westboro Baptist Church—and reportedly God himself—hate Lady Gaga, but now the Korean Gender Equality Ministry has declared Gaga “inappropriate,” saying she promotes pornography and homosexuality. Civic groups are hanging defaced Gaga banners and praying for the cancellation of her concert, which has already been banned for all Koreans under the age of 18. Yes, this is 2012. And yes, the photos are nothing short of fantastic.

6. BUY TICKETS FOR THE AVENGERS: Marvel’s superhero team up movie, The Avengers, is just days away from its U.S. release on May 4, and it already has done the unthinkable. Fandango says the flick has ousted The Dark Knight Rises as the most highly anticipated film of 2012. While early buzz is very strong, Marvel continues to whet appetites with new clips. Many early tracking reports predict a giant opening weekend gross so get your tickets early, watch new clips (at marvel.com), and wait for the fan frenzy that is about to ensue. 7. ATTEND THE 2012 BELMONT SEASON OPENER: Belmont Park kicks off another season of thoroughbred racing, live bands, Family Fun Sundays, a trio of Party at the Park Fridays and much more on April 27. For dining information and reservations call 888-516-NYRA or download the OpenTable app to instantly reserve a table and view availability in real-time. And let the games begin… 8. TOUR CITI FIELD BALL PARK: The home of the NY Mets is offering fans a walkthrough of the park, through April 29. The guided tour will show guests through the Clubhouse, field and dugout, production areas, press boxes, suite levels, and the Hall of Fame and Museum. You may even get to rub elbows with Mr. Met, himself. 9. LISTEN TO GALAKTIKON: Brendon Small is one of the most unheard famous names, responsible for Home Movies and Metalocalypse on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block of mature cartoons. Now, Small is stepping out on his own, releasing his first studio album, Galaktikon, which he describes as similar to Deathklok but with more rock elements and vocal melody, on April 29. 10. FIRE UP THE GRILL: May is not only National Hamburger Month, but National BBQ Month. Whether you invite family and friends over for a springtime feast, or head to your nearest BBQ restaurant, May is the month to do it. Health conscious? Don’t worry, May is also National Salad Month. News

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The Book Married to a Trial Liar By Sophia Moreau & Barbara Sheldon The rags-to-riches story of Mia Picarde, a successful Long Island businesswoman, unfolds as Mia prepares for a court appearance in an ongoing effort to divorce her husband. A visit to the scattered remains of her family’s home in Long Beach triggers a series of flashbacks detailing Mia’s humble beginnings, before her accidental and repeated entanglements with abusive, narcissistic men wreak havoc on her life. After marrying her divorce lawyer, Dave, she is greeted with a world of abuse, sexual perversion and blatant infidelity. A call from Dave’s mistress—who shares bone-chilling stories of sexual dominance— leads Mia to the realization that the man she is married to is evolving from obsessed husband to sexual predator to possible serial killer. A sequence of events—involving a Mickey Spillane-type private investigator, a reluctant chief of detectives, a phalanx of angels, and an Italian businessman who comes to Mia’s rescue and falls in love with her—culminates in the final, surprising denouement as all plot threads converge in the village of East Hampton. Throughout the novel Picarde’s strength of character emerges and serves to steel her resolve, living proof that abuse can happen to anyone, and that no one who is being abused deserves to live that way. Moreau and Shelden will be speaking about and signing copies of Married to a Trial Liar at the Book Revue in Huntington April 29 at 4 p.m. —Daphne Livingston

$50,000,000 The amount Lend Lease, the construction company that worked on the 9/11 Memorial and Citi Field projects, agreed to pay in fines and restitution to avoid criminal overbilling charges on these and a multitude of other projects.

B-List B-Day JENNA VON “OY!!!” May 2, 1977 Actress Jenna von Oÿ aka Six LeMuere, Blossom’s best friend and partner in crime back in the ’90s sitcom world, who talked really, really fast and wore hats only Princess Beatrice could love, is a Taurus, a romantic sign represented by the bull. Six, named after the number of beers her mom drank the night she got pregnant, spent much of her time on Blossom chasing Joey “Woah!” Russo with puppy dog eyes and later dated a married, older man. But, a few semi-nude pictorials later, von Oÿ eventually found solace for her Venus-ruled heart in the world of country music, where love always prevails in the end. She married her true love, and released her debut album, Breathing Room. But just like her attempts to woo Joey, it failed miserably. Long Island Press

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Jerry’s Ink BY JERRY DELLA FEMINA, Publisher, the Independent

The Candidate He’s a brilliant campaigner. There’s no one who comes close to him when it comes to giving a spellbinding political speech. He takes the stage, stands at attention and waits until there is complete silence before he starts his speech. For the first few minutes he appears nervous and speaks haltingly. Slowly he begins to relax and his style of delivery changes. He starts to rock from side to side and begins to gesticulate with his hands. His incredible voice gets louder and becomes more passionate. At times his voice cracks with emotion. He found out early in the game that in order to be elected one must appear to stand for everything. If they’re young, he promises them free education. If they’re old, he promise them free medication. If they’re feeling put upon, he promises them instant vindication. Bottom line is if it ends in “ion” he promises it to someone. To appeal to the working class his programs include several measures that would redistribute income and profit-sharing in large industries. He talks of senior citizen pensions and free education. He has written a “White Paper” to reassure his wealthy followers that he is a supporter of private enterprise and is opposed to any real transformation of economic and social structure. What he says while campaigning depends very much on the audience. In rural areas he promises tax cuts for farmers and government action to protect food prices. In working-class areas he speaks of redistribution of wealth and attacks the high profits made by the large chain stores. He promises he will solve the downturn that the country is experiencing and says he will solve the serious problem of unemployment. The Times has said of him, “His proposals are sincere and well considered.” He avoids explaining how he would improve the country’s economy. So dear readers, who is he? Can you guess name of the politician I just described? Wait a minute, did you actually think I meant … Oh no, not him. Shame on you. How could you think I would be so devious. I’m shocked, shocked that some of you would think of … of … I won’t even say his name. Actually, the politician I described above was Adolph Hitler, who had a

birthday last week. Let us pray that the birthday boy is burning in hell. The election campaign I described is not taking place in 2012, but took place in 1933. The newspaper that thought Hitler was sincere is not The New York Times but The London Times. A few years later they were dodging his bombs. Guess who called him “a man who can be relied upon”? Neville Chamberlain, who was, at the time, the Jimmy Carter of English politics. Why the exercise? I was interested in trying to figure out how any country could elect a beast like Hitler and, as it turns out, according to the Spartacus Educational site, Hitler took the same route to get elected as every other Presidential politician in the history of the world. They get elected by lying to people. They get re-elected by telling new lies to the same people they lied to, to get elected the first time. I took the Spartacus Educational site’s write-up on Hitler’s rise to power and just made a few changes from past tense to present tense to make it appear to be about a present-day politician. Now, we’re all too smart to ever let another Hitler into our lives, aren’t we? Aren’t we? I’m not saying they come even close and they are not monsters (but they would be disastrous Presidents), and yet many Republicans did consider Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum to be Presidential material. And lest we forget, the slimiest person of them all, the loathsome John Edwards, whom a lot of Democrats wanted to become our President in 2008, is on trial now for stealing campaign funds. Funds provided by heiress Bunny Mellon, who was convinced Edwards was the “savior of our country.” Edwards, who was on Barack Obama’s short list to be his Vice President before he got nailed for paying off the mother of his love child (don’t you just love the term “love child”?), is credited by many with siphoning off enough votes in the early primaries from Hillary Clinton to help Obama win the nomination. When he was running, Edwards stated that his main goals (ho hum) were eliminating poverty, fighting global warming, providing universal health care and withdrawing troops from Iraq. Nothing ever changes.

If you wish to comment on “Jerry’s Ink” email Jerry at jerry@dfjp.com

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Cover Story

Paper Tiger

Under Cablevision’s control, a once-feared newspaper has become a puppet. A look behind the curtain. BY Spencer Rumsey, Christopher Twarowski and Michael Patrick Nelson

n June 1972, three Newsday reporters were sent to Turkey’s poppy fields to investigate the inner workings of the international heroin trade, which was ruining the lives of scores of Long Islanders and thousands more in the five boroughs. Armed with shotguns, rifles, secret recording devices and rice paper for taking notes—so they could eat the evidence if they were in trouble—senior editor Bob Greene, Les Payne and Knut Royce lived among the farmers of Afyon province, traced the drug from the opium fields of Anatolia through France, Italy, Bulgaria and other countries, and with another Newsday team of reporters based back home, documented its delivery to the suburbs. The Heroin Trail series consisted of hundreds of interviews with sources spanning 13 countries on three continents. The investigation cost more than $100,000, consisted of 14 reporters and spanned a full year—with the “Greene Team” as they were known in the newsroom spending six months overseas. It’s the stuff of legend. Before the series appeared in print, a CIA operative

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warned Newsday’s then-publisher Bill Public Service Award. Payne described Attwood, top editor David Laventhol his late friend and colleague’s relentless and Greene that if they ran it, they pursuit of the truth this way: might cause the collapse of the French “Greene was not a scavenger,” he government, then Italy, Germany, and said. “Bob loved Long Island and he eventually hand all of Western Europe proved it by serving as a Rottweiler of a over to the communists. But they didn’t watchdog on government.” buckle and the series was published in Decades later the trailblazing, 32 consecutive installments in 1973. no-holds-barred spirit championed by A year later it won the Pulitzer Gold Newsday’s most famous journalist is a Medal Prize for Public Service Journal- fading legacy. It’s been reduced not by ism, the second Pulitzer in four years outside forces, such as pressure from the under Greene’s direction. CIA, or even the White Two weeks after House—as another of Greene’s death in April Greene’s investigations 2008, the newsman’s attracted—but from the groundbreaking conpaper’s own top brass, say tributions to investigamore than three dozen tive journalism were the current and former topic of a speech given by Newsday employees Payne at the Fair Media contacted for this story Council’s annual Folio by the Press. Awards presentation—a Fearing retribushredding a long island group that renamed its tion, they requested institution: the march 4, 2010 cover story of the Investigative Reporting anonymity as they long island press took a prize in Greene’s honor; hard, painted a portrait of in-depth look at how the Long Island chapter a publication that has cablevision’s acquisition of LI’S ONLY DAILY of the Society for Probecome a shell of its NEWSPAPER WAS TEARING IT fessional Journalists did former self, where editors APART AT THE SEAMS. the same with its annual are all-too quick to

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remove or soften hard-hitting details of articles in exchange for a more palatable product that won’t offend or, as they quote their editors, result in “angry phone calls” from public officials. Newsday reporters express their dismay at the direction the LI institution has taken—and how stories of substance and import have either been quashed, toned-down or held indefinitely. With no reason given. The staff who spoke to the Press cast most of the blame on “the two Debbies,” as they call them: Newsday Editor In Chief Debbie Henley and parent company Cablevision Systems Corp.’s senior vice president, Deborah Krenek, who is in charge of its digital group, local media and also serves as the paper’s editorial director. Henley took over the reins from Krenek in November, when the latter was promoted. The duo is responsible for the newspaper’s deliberate shift toward local coverage—addressing a longstanding gripe that even some critics of the pair interviewed for this story admire: “The complaint about Newsday 20 years ago, let’s say, was that you could read about Beirut but you

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couldn’t read about Babylon,” says one. That Newsday’s reporters have an uneasy relationship with the paper’s corporate owners—father and son team Charles and James Dolan, who also own the New York Knicks and New York Rangers, among other holdings—is no secret. Battles between reporters and editors have been waged in just about every news organization that cares about quality. One could argue that this give-and-take is the sign of a healthy newsroom—good writers should believe in their stories enough to fight for them. Sometimes it’s like the War of the Roses, only under one roof, as loyalties shift when one editor replaces another—or is rumored to be next in the line of succession. As the newspaper industry continues to shed payroll and editorial staffers due to a precipitous decline in advertising revenue and the encroachment of the Internet, the brand of journalism Greene innovated—investigative and enterprising—has been typecast as an endangered species. Yet the struggle taking place inside LI’s lone daily newspaper is so important beyond its walls because it’s not just a clash of in-house personalities with egos at stake. Since Cablevision also owns News12, which Newsday shares content with, the Bethpage-based cable distributor has a nearmonopoly on the information that LI’s nearly 4 million residents get to read, hear and view. What’s truly at stake, therefore, encompasses everything from, say, how a person will vote in the next election to how they view a new member of their favorite sports team. But more importantly, it’s about what they don’t know—and never will. Cablevision’s $650 million takeover of Newsday from Tribune Co. in 2008 has already resulted in substantial belt-tightening, union givebacks, pay and job cuts from the storied paper’s ranks. These measures came despite the cable company’s ever-increasing annual profit revenues and bonuses for top executives. Some veteran journalists left because of Cablevision’s meddling in editorial content. Others were forced out. One former Newsday staffer describes the situation this way: “Stories are held for months at a time, killed or watered down because the leaders cannot make a decision or are scared of aggressive reporting. They talk about watchdog reporting but they suppress such stories because of fear about getting complaints. And the subjects of those stories can call and get a piece held or killed.” “There is a lot of frustration at Newsday now,” says another. “Talk to any Newsday reporter and they’re concerned about the paper forgetting its mission and being a little bit adrift 12

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and not having the courage to take on some of the power players on Long Island. People sort of mark that change to Debbie Henley taking over.” In response to a list of questions for this story regarding these allegations and other issues raised by unhappy staffers, Newsday’s Vice President of Public Affairs Paul Fleishman said this: “We are declining to comment on these groundless assertions that appear to originate from a small number of disgruntled employees. Newsday has long been respected for its straightforward, independent reporting on behalf of the people of Long Island. It is a responsibility that we take very seriously and approach with the utmost care, integrity and commitment to accuracy. We stand firmly behind our reporting, editing and coverage. Two out of three Long Island adults read Newsday each week and many of them also see Newsday content online. We remain committed to connecting our readers to the news and information that matters most to them.”

NO PLACE LIKE HOME

The unrest among Newsday’s editorial ranks has reached a boiling point in recent weeks, say those interviewed for this story, and resulted in what they describe as an “unprecedented” staff-wide meeting with Henley, Krenek and Rich Rosen, the paper’s new managing editor, last week. By all accounts, the event was the first of its kind since the two Debbies took over about two years ago. In the Newsday auditorium, complete with coffee, brownies and cookies, the trio tried to put to rest concerns about the paper’s direction, telling staffers that that their door was always open and that if a writer wondered what was up with a story, he or she only had to ask. These sessions were welcome, those interviewed for this story say, and the union that represents the reporters was particularly pleased. After all, it took the union’s informal involvement to help coax this new dialogue. “We’re happy that we’re talking about making Newsday a better place,” says Zach Dowdy, vice president of the editorial unit of Local 406. “I think we explored several topics that were on the staff’s minds and the company addressed them.” At union meetings leading up to the gathering, members had complained that they felt the current editors “have contempt” for the reporters, according to several who spoke to the Press. “In the past when we had issues, there was always the sense that we were on the same team,” says one staffer. “For a lot of people that feeling doesn’t exist anymore.” Over-the-top editing that errs on

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we’re not in kansas anymore: Since February, much of the dirty laundry and gripes of current and former newsday employees have been aired via a facebook profile page under the name Debbie CowardlyLion, a reference to tHE character from the 1939 classic the Wizard of oz and A jab at newsday editor in chief debbie henley.

the side of caution is seen by some staffers as the reason that Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy was able to bully the paper into backing off scrutinizing his budgeting practices for years so that the $60 million deficit his successor, Steve Bellone, faces now came as such a shock this winter. The paper still hasn’t invested its vast resources into exploring where all that money went. Last summer Newsday’s top editors apparently bent over backwards to put Nassau County Executive Ed Mangano’s costly referendum for the Nassau Coliseum in the best light possible, supposedly in consideration of Cablevision’s sports interests, even going as far as downplaying—if not rewriting outright—a poll that showed the residents’ lack of support for the bond measure. More telling was The New York Times’ scoop of the Long Island Rail Road pension scam, in which unscrupulous workers and unethical doctors allegedly conspired to siphon off up to $1 billion in federal disability pension funds since 2000. The damning data for the story was originally compiled by Newsday reporters who could never get the story to run and later left to work for the Times. Charges in the pension scandal were finally filed last October. “They’re more cautious about things and I think it goes back to sports,” blasts another longtime reporter, who admitted that the days when a typewriter could be flung across the room in anger are mercifully long gone. “Dolan didn’t want the Knicks criticized, and he told the sports writers he didn’t want them to use adjectives to describe the Knicks! How do you write sports without using adjectives? That’s ridiculous!” Coincidentally or not, a number of Newsday’s award-winning sportswriting team have left the paper in the last few years. Wallace Matthews, now at ESPN, and Ken Davidoff, who’s now at the New York Post, are two. Both News

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declined to comment for this story, though Wallace had told the New York Observer in 2010 that the softer tone the Dolans sought in the section was “rank censorship. You can’t tell journalists that there are things to avoid and call it anything but censorship.” It’s a description that still permeates the paper’s once-renowned sports section. “Technically, in sports, we don’t have any more columnists,” says one current staffer. “There’s no such thing as a columnist anymore…. It’s not an opinionated thing. It’s more like a feature.” The big-name departures, which include half a dozen others from Newsday’s storied newsroom—many who’ve found a new home at the Wall Street Journal—affect not only the paper’s content, but also the morale of those who stick around. “This wasn’t a shakeup,” says one former employee, who recently left after working under several editors. “It was an exodus. Many of the best people have left Newsday because of the leadership dysfunction in the newsroom…. The leadership is ineffective and more concerned about what Cablevision thinks than what’s best for the public.… Reporters are treated like they are all stupid and anyone who speaks up finds retaliation in not so subtle ways.” Another former longtime employee tells the Press that Newsday’s downward spiral began when Tribune Co. merged with Times Mirror in 2000, acquiring the LI paper as well as the Los Angeles Times, Hartford Courant, Baltimore Sun and others, in an $8-billion deal. “The bigger your paycheck, the bigger the target was on your back,” says the ex-employee, adding that it’s a trend continued by Cablevision, and one that hurts the paper’s reputation and content. “Newsday in its prime was

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a destination newspaper for journalists. People wanted to come there because it was a high-quality newspaper. Newsday was in the same category as The New York Times, Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times. “Now they’re not interested in recruiting great talent,” the veteran continues. “All they’re interested in is getting young talent, which they can pay less compensation to than the people in the past.” Coworkers have described the current working environment at the paper as “hell with fluorescent lighting” and “toxic,” the longtime former employee adds. Newsrooms have long been simmering hotbeds of contention, dissension, resentment, insecurity and arrogance. That’s on a good day. What gave this dispute legs is the Internet. In February, a new profile was created on the social-media goliath Facebook that has been making the rounds of Melville’s offices. A profile dubbed “Debbie CowardlyLion” made her debut, listing the same birth year as Newsday, 1940, and purporting to have been a news reporter at the daily from 1970 to 2004 who “covered the news without fear or favor. That’s why I had to leave.” The user explains, “The page is the result of hopelessness, anger and frustration in the newsroom…. If it is important, it is because it provides an outlet for that frustration and gives a voice to it.” Sprinkled throughout the page are posts referring to what CowardlyLion claims were stories altered or bungled due to phone calls from public officials, incompetence, or a lack of spine of Newsday’s editors. Although Debbie CowardlyLion only has about 50 followers as of press time, her message is being heard—by local officials as well as some media heavyweights. Respected industry analyst Jim Romenesko is “Friends” with Debbie CowardlyLion. So is Laurie Garrett, senior fellow for global health at the think tank Council on Foreign Relations and former science writer and foreign correspondent for Newsday, who won a Pulitzer Prize for Explanatory Journalism for the newspaper in 1996. Lonnie Isabel, associate professor and director of the international reporting program at CUNY Graduate School of Journalism and the former deputy managing editor of Newsday, is, too. They join former Newsday columnist and current Times reporter Paul Vitello, Columbia University Journalism School professor Laura Muha (also a former Newsday staffer) and the Times’ deputy metro editor Danny Hakim, among others. “Clearly it’s gotten to the point where if they feel they need to start resorting to venting on Facebook,

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things have gone to a different level entirely,” says Jaci Clement, executive director of nonprofit Fair Media Council, also a follower of the parody Facebook page and a former Newsday employee. Regarding Cablevision’s ownership of the newspaper, Clement says, “They’ve exceeded my worst expectations,” noting the company’s 2009 installment of a pay wall around its website as a perfect example. “That information no longer travels off of Long Island,” she says. “Things have rapidly deteriorated here, and you can almost drive that directly home to the fact almost no information gets off the island. If you talk to people in Albany, they say, ‘Up in Albany, we hear nothing about Long Island. We don’t know when the people are upset, the ramifications of things they’re talking about…’ They don’t get any feedback, because that information no longer flows. Without the firewall, even if they didn’t read Newsday, they could log on to Newsday. Now it’s a complete blackout.”

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

John Mancini, the Debbies’ predecessor, is a fast-talking, quick-witted editor in chief from Queens. He also had his detractors—some thought he took the paper too far into the trashier territory of the New York Post, which is understandable since he had worked there after leaving the defunct New York Newsday in 1995, where he learned the esoteric ways of running the “tabloid in the tutu” under the guidance of Don Forst, a legendary noholds-barred newspaperman. Mancini, who later returned to Newsday and became editor in chief in 2004, always had a more “in your face” city mentality that sometimes didn’t mesh well with the suburban sensibility of Newsday tradition. But the writing was on the wall when he disappeared from the Melville office for five days in January 2009, following a “difference of opinion”— as Mancini later described it—with Cablevision’s owners, James Dolan in particular. The offense was Mancini’s decision to play up a story about a sexual harassment claim against Knicks player Eddy Curry filed by his male driver. The Post reported that thenpublisher Tim Knight, left over from the days when the Chicago-based Tribune Co. owned Newsday, worked “behind the scenes to convince the Dolans to allow Mancini to return.” “No one knew where he was,” said a staffer. “Was he working here or not?” The answer came on Inauguration Day, 2009, when Mancini re-entered the newsroom to a hero’s welcome. People

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crowded around him, applauding his journalistic independence, and asking him what had happened. He grinned and shrugged it off. “Everything’s fine!” he said. Not so, apparently. His dust-up with the Dolans “sent a chill down everyone’s spine,” said a staffer. And it only got colder. Come that December, the Post reported: “For the second time in less than a year, John Mancini is out as editor-in-chief of Newsday—and this time it is going to stick.” Debby Krenek, let go as editor of the New York Daily News in 2000, took Mancini’s place at Newsday in 2009, and within three weeks Debbie Henley, who had left the paper to go back to Virginia and teach, became Newsday’s managing editor. By all accounts, the two Debbies are no slouches, regularly spending 11 to 12 hour days at the office. As a staffer said, “They seem to be of the mindset that if they just work hard enough they can do everything.” Even captions fall under the scrutiny of the editor in chief, reporters say, adding that no story moves to the copy desk without Henley or Rosen reading it first, which might save the paper from embarrassment but certainly won’t save time. It also hasn’t been winning them many fans. “You rewrite the stories and micromanage everything when you don’t trust your people,” says a staffer. “It’s as simple as that.” Asked why these top editors— the inhabitants of “The Glass Offices” as they’re dubbed—would err on the side of caution, the former staffer, News

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quoted above, said, “I don’t know why The Glass Offices are so paralyzed but it might have something to do with Mancini getting fired over his handling of the Knicks coverage.” There was no consensus among current staffers whom the Press contacted about the extent of Cablevision’s editorial influence. Some said they never felt it, even if their stories might have direct bearing on the cable company’s corporate interests. “We don’t know whether James Dolan has even thought of us for more than five seconds a day,” says a staffer. “Does he give a shit whether we devote our front page to crime or town news? We have no idea why these people are making the decisions they’re making.” Some critics, however, do give credit where they say credit is due. “I think they do a better job today of covering the local stuff than they did six or seven years ago,” says an exstaffer who asked not to be identified because of a continuing business relationship with the paper. “But I don’t see the young people working there really digging to get some of these stories. My impression is that a lot of it comes from press conferences and news releases. One of the comments made on the Debbie CowardlyLion site is that Newsday’s become a PR man’s dream machine, and in some respects, I think she’s right.” A representative sampling of politically connected Long Island insiders and public relations people familiar with Newsday’s evolution over time, who were interviewed for this story but

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who also requested anonymity, agree. In its defense, the paper’s hyperlocal emphasis, aka the “super loco local,” draws some raves, even from reporters who suddenly found themselves with a brand new beat. Thanks to the advance notice of public hearings hundreds of people would actually show up, instead of just a handful. “The reader feedback has been very positive,” a reporter told the Press. But the job switch may have unnecessarily been abrupt—the announcement that town coverage would be doubled was tucked into the end of a presentation officially billed as a promotion of Newsday’s upcoming new TV commercials, so many veterans blew it off, not realizing their assignments were about to change permanently. “A few years ago, the paper was awful,” says another former staffer. “It was disjointed, it just seemed that it had no direction, it didn’t know what it wanted to be.… Now, they’ve refocused themselves, and I think they’re a much better paper than they were a few years ago.” Lawrence C. Levy, a former Newsday columnist, reporter and editorial writer who is now the executive director at Hofstra University’s National Center for Suburban Studies, approves of the paper’s current content configuration. “Considering the limited financial resources, which are a problem everywhere,” Levy says, “I think they’ve come up with a pretty decent formula for delivering more local information without totally ignoring the rest of the world.” It’s clear that Newsday is not what it was, but then, neither is the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and The Washington Post. At one point, Newsday was considered in the top 10 of great American papers, but it hasn’t won a Pulitzer Prize, the industry’s most prestigious award, in five years —and the Knicks look more likely to win an NBA playoff round long before Newsday garners its next Pulitzer. That wasn’t the case in the heady days of the 1990s when both the Long Island paper and its city upstart, New York Newsday, were raking them in. One of those prize winners was Bob Keeler, who received the 1996 prize for beat reporting in his series portraying the inner workings of a Catholic parish on LI. An editorial writer today, Keeler is removed from the inner workings of the newsroom, but he cautions that any reporter-editor friction is not exactly the story of the decade. “Newsday is an editor-driven paper—always has been, always will be,” says Keeler. “I’ve written about it, in my worst-selling book on the history of Newsday, and I’ve lived it. In the early 1990s, a bunch of us reporters gathered together and formed

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a reporters’ committee, because editors were being particularly high-handed. Despite the historic difficulties of organizing journalists, we did manage to meet a few times, and we put out a few issues of a newsletter. For a time, the editors became a bit more collegial and a tad less high-handed. But that was just a phase. Over-the-top editing is a lot like kudzu: You can beat it back, but it always returns.” Howard Schneider, former Newsday editor in chief and now dean of Stony Brook University’s School of Journalism, takes the long view. “Every newspaper in America will go through their hyper-local phase and, like adolescence, somehow they’ll grow into another level of maturity,” he says. The problem is not finding an audience but establishing a viable business model in “this post-multi-media world,” and enterprising journalism can determine who survives. “I think the great differentiator for news organizations and individual reporters,” Schneider says, “will be the ability to find stories that nobody else finds, the ability to get to the bottom of stories that nobody else can get to the bottom of, and the ability to respond to misinformation with authoritative information quickly.” The question is whether Newsday is still capable of doing that kind of journalism, some critics say, or even aspires to. “We’re still the only daily,” says a Newsday staffer. “I think we’re still relevant. But the paper backs away from difficult stories and everything’s written in the same voice because of the heavy-handed top-down editing, and we bow and scrape to certain elected public officials. I do believe our credibility is not what it once was.” Journalists from outside LI looking in also expressed concern. “When you give up covering the news in favor of community building, I think you’ve basically reprogrammed the thought process of the newspaper and made it a lot less hard-driving, and a lot less interesting,” says Curt Hazlett, a former managing editor of the Portland Press Herald in Maine, night city editor of the Washington Post, and “journalism trainer” at the now defunct American Press Institute. “It’s hard to be an editor,” says Hazlett. “You’re responsible for things that are inherently controversial. And if you’re any good, you’re putting things in the paper that a lot of people don’t want to see published—but publicizing something that someone somewhere doesn’t want to see is exactly what the definition of news is. “It’s a lousy time to be a journalist,” he observes. “There’s plenty of pressures against newspapers as it is, but lack of news is what drives the final nail in the coffin.”

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Smithtown Joins the Fight against Homelessness

If you read the flyers and posters in the hall back in February, chances are you saw signs saying “Teens for Jeans” all over the place. This campaign holds a yearly contest to collect the most pairs of new or gently used jeans to donate to homeless teenagers. As an initiative for people to donate their denim, the winning school is awarded $5,000, brand new Aéropostale jeans for every student, and a party for the entire school. Additionally, two students are granted $500 college scholarships. After its success during the past four years, the project was held again. This year, Smithtown High School East sophomore Gabby Donnelly decided

By Mia Trentadue

It may come as a shock to some, but one out of every three homeless people in the United States is under the age of 18, the same age as many of the students who walk through these halls every day. Because of these startling statistics, dosomething.org partnered with the retail clothing store Aéropostale and its children’s line P.S. in an attempt to assist teenagers in need. From this, Teens for Jeans was created.

‘It makes me extremely proud to be a part of this school community.’

to bring the operation into the school. Within a few short weeks, Donnelly was able to collect over 200 jean donations from our student body and other generous members of our community. Donnelly stated that she “would definitely do it again because of all of the positive responses” she had gotten. Donnelly stated: “It makes me extremely proud to be a part of this school community and have the

chance to help needy teens.” Through community unity and compassion, Smithtown was able to join the fight against homelessness. Although our school was unable to collect the most pairs of jeans, it came together to help a cause to aid people in our area that need help, and that is all that really counts.…

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G6”, “Dancing in the Dark”) performs all her earworm radio hits plus her new single with Enrique Iglesias, “Naked,” at Middle Country Beer Garden on Saturday,

4.28.

Over the past 12 years, Bayside, a local band from Queens, climbed its way to become a heavy-hitter in the punk rock world of the music industry. Raneri, vocalist/guitarist, prime songwriter and the only original member since its inception, fronts the band. After releasing five proper albums as Bayside, Raneri decided to release his own collection of songs on New Cathedrals (Gumshoe Records, 2012). But he has made it clear that Bayside will remain his main project. Last summer Raneri hinted at the possibility of writing a solo record, which around five months later became a reality. Raneri is now on a tour in support of the new album, and don’t worry, he’ll be playing Bayside songs acoustically, but definitely expect to hear a bunch of his own songs from the new album. With Steve Soboslai (Punchline). Saturday, 4.28, 8 p.m. —Anthony Dobrini

NEW YORK GUITAR EXPO @ CURE OF ARS CHURCH Thousands of music lovers, instrument collectors and players from metro-NYC and the tri-state region will descend upon our little hamlet of Merrick this weekend for the biggest guitar show and expo to hit the area in more than 15 years. Dozens of exhibits include big names like DR Strings, DGN Custom Guitars, Lazy B Cigar Box Guitars, Music Emporium and more. On Saturday, the Les Paul Foundation stops by with some of Les’ own personal artifacts and guitars. Door prizes will be given out each hour of the show. If you bring a guitar or amp to sell or trade, they’ll knock two bucks off your admission. For a full run-down, visit www.nyguitarexpo.com. Saturday, 4.28, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sunday, 4.29, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.—Jaclyn Gallucci

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ROCK OUT AUTISM @ NUTTY IRISHMAN FARMINGDALE A group of Long Island teens, including

founders Rafe Tangorra and Gina Cardino, bring their benefit rock concert to the Nutty to raise funds for a local autism center in their community. And we’re not talking pocket change here. In only three annual events, Rock Out Autism has grossed more than $50,000. Yes, 50 grand, 100 percent of which was donated back to centers for autism to help pay for the services that many children and young adults struggling with autism need. This year’s show will feature Paging Grace, Nick Tangorra, The Walking Tree, Homebound, Trish Torrales, and the No. 1 New York Foreigner Tribute, Head Games. Be there! Saturday, 4.28, 2 p.m.—JG

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Suzanne Vega & Duncan Sheik @ Highline Ballroom, 8 p.m. Joe Brooks @ Revolution, 6 p.m. With Corey Balsamo, Charlie Dane & Madeline Luongo. You Can Judge A Book By Its Cover @ Gallery North, This impressive group of illustrators gathers for a never-beforeseen presentation of books, plus original artwork for sale. Artists include Jeff Fisher, illustrator of The Velveteen Rabbit, Art Cummings, illustrator/writer of There’s a Monster Eating My House & more. Through 5.5. The Punch Brothers @ Town Hall, 8 p.m. With JESCA HOOP.

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 42

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thursday 4.26 Amazin’ Mets Conference @ Hofstra University Former players including Rusty Staub and Ed Kranepool, baseball historians, sportswriters, statisticians, bloggers, biographers and fans come together for a conference commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Mets with panels, meet-and-greets, exhibits, performances and a raffle of Amazin’ NY Mets merch. Through 4.28.— Daphne Livingston

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ANTHONY RANERI @ REVOLUTION

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Inquisition/ Black Anvil/Woe/ Trenchgrinder @ St. Vitus, 8 p.m. Inquisition also appears with Castevet & Villains on 4.27. Earth, Fire And Light @ 9 East Contemporary Pit-fired clay sculptures by Hugh McElroy and natureinspired archetypal Lightscapes created using powdered carbon by Richard Vaux. Through 4.28. Bowling For Soup @ Gramercy Theatre, 7 p.m. With Patent Pending, Freshman 15 & Sandlot Heroes. Major League/ Carousel Kings/ Darling Parade/ Auburn @ Vibe Lounge, 5 p.m. With Tip the Truck, We Stand Tall, The B-List & White Line Tiger. Friday 4.27 Carlos Mencia @ Governor’s Comedy, 8 & 10:30 p.m. Also 4.28, 7 & 10:30 p.m. Season Opener @ Belmont Racetrack Death Cab for Cutie w/ The Magik*Magik Orchestra @ Beacon Theatre, 8 p.m. With Youth Lagoon. Through 4.29. Continued on page 22

april 26 - may 2, 2012

Do This Continued from page 21 /////////////////////

Chicago @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury, 8 p.m. The Feelies @ Bell House, 9 p.m. Soulfly @ Gramercy Theatre, 5:30 p.m. With Insight, Long Kody, Iratetion & Wykked Wytch. Dennis DeYoung: The Music of Styx @ The Paramount, 8 p.m. Somethin’ Fresh @ Revolution, 7 p.m. With One Step Ahead & 7th Son. Marilu Henner @ Barnes & Noble 86th St., 7 p.m. Tyrone Wells feat. Joe Brooks @ The City Winery, 8 p.m. Also 5.2. Vinny G. (Jersey Shore) @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Ladies of Laughter @ Brokerage Comedy, 10:30 p.m. Spring Auction @ St. Joseph’s School, 6:30 p.m. $7

admission includes 25 tickets, cake, coffee & tea. Extra tickets $2 per card. Veterans Stand Down @ Suffolk Community College, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Fed, state, county and private agencies assist vets in need of health, employment, financial, housing, educational, and VA benefit services. Plus meal station, hair-cut station, food pantry and clothing closet. Call 631-853-8387 for transportation. Olivia Newton-John @ Barnes & Noble 18th St., 6 p.m. Bracelet Lottery @ McFadden’s, 8 p.m. Pick a wristband for $1, $2 & $3 drinks till 10 p.m. One lucky winner will get to drink free all night! Biennial Science Conference @ Patchogue-Watch Hill Ferry Terminal, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Presentations/updates. Field trip on 4.28. Saturday

4.28

Immortal Beloved/ Alec Baldwin/ Bob Balaban @ Guild Hall, 7:30 p.m. Baldwin hosts a screening of the 1994 film focused on Beethoven and the mystery surrounding his last letter written before his death, which he addressed to the elusive “immortal beloved.” A chat with Baldwin and actor Bob Balaban follows. —Michael Ventimiglia

8 a.m.–2 p.m. Meet at the terminal for a field trip to Sailors Haven & Watch Hill for guided tours of research and project sites on Fire Island. Bring lunch! Merrick Spring Festival @ Merrick LIRR, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Rides, food, and vendors, ranging from crafters, artists, unusual gift vendors, service companies, and non-profits. Also 4.29.—MV

Big D & the Kids Table @ Webster Hall, 7 p.m.

Tulip Festival & Parade @ Our Lady of Grace Church, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Fine Arts & Crafts Springtime Gala @ Syosset-Woodbury Park, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Chocolatiers, pie makers, cookie designers, artists, monogrammed items, photographers, antique furniture, potters, ceramics, personalized and engraved items, floral and wreath designers, mural artist, marble trinkets, jewelry, stained glass, decoupage, dolls, quilting, Malaysian lamps, tapestry and Chinese art—to name a few! Also 4.29.

The Awesome ’80s Prom @ Webster Hall, 7:30 p.m. Girls Scouts 100th Birthday @ East Islip Middle School, 1-4 p.m. This free event includes crafts, balloons, music, face painting and snacks using Girl Scout cookies. Donations of non-perishable food items are appreciated. John Wesley Harding’s Cabinet of Wonders @ City Winery, 8 p.m.

Biennial Science Conference @ Patchogue-Watch Hill Ferry Terminal,

This Time Around/ Continued on page 24

Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 42

Sunday

4.29

The Bakin’ with The Boss Tour kicks off at 3 p.m. at the NYCB Theatre @ Westbury.

Talking to the

Cake Boss By Licia Avelar

America’s favorite baker Buddy Valastro is going to be on Long Island this weekend, presenting his special interactive event Bakin’ with The Boss. The boss himself will share stories about his hit series, Cake Boss, his Italian family, answer questions and demonstrate the baking techniques that made him famous. He’ll also invite audience members on stage! The Long Island Press caught up with the boss this past week for some sweet talk. You have a successful bakery, shows, books and your own tour; tell us how it feels to be so in demand. I’m truly having the ride of my life right now! I’m still just a baker from New Jersey – but I’m fully having some fun! Why do you think so many people are interested in the Cake Boss? I think people are obsessed with food and, in my case, cake and the things you can do with cake. It’s not like when you and I got our whipped cream birthday cakes anymore. Some of the orders we get—I couldn’t even imagine thinking up! It’s safe to say you wear many hats thanks to your baking. Where else do you see yourself in years to come? I indeed do wear a lot of hats! I’d like to open some additional bakeries, and maybe even have my own show one day.

Thomas Kosa Photography

The next season of Cake Boss starts shortly (May 30th on TLC). Can you tell us what to expect? The cakes are bigger—and I mean much bigger! We are finally all moved in to our new Lackawanna facility, so we can take full advantage of the space. We never would have been able to do these cakes in the old bakery. You’ve come a long way since season one. For those who haven’t followed you, tell us about how you got started, and how the television show came about. I got my start

from the wedding magazines. I used to do a lot of cakes for them. Then Food Network Challenge saw me in the magazines and invited me to compete on their show. At the same time that was going on, TLC was looking for a cake show—and they found me from the challenges. They asked me to take a camcorder around the bakery and introduce them to my family. So I did that, and like two days later they called me back and asked me who my agent was. I said. “Me!” And that was the start of Cake Boss! And you work with a ton of family members. Have you ever had to fire one? I’ve never had to truly fire a family member – we’ve come close – and you’ll actually see it in this season of Cake Boss. I won’t tell you who – but I’m sure the fans out there can guess! Give shoppers a secret: what’s the best treat you bake at the bakery? Our lobster tails are the favorites…Our crumb cake is pretty amazing, too! Viewers love the odd requests you get. What’s the weirdest request you’ve ever gotten? The bug cake – by far the weirdest one ever! Hoboken is a long way for some of us. Do you think you’ll ever open up a bakery on Long Island? We are working on it. I’d love to put one in Long Island. We don’t have any plans yet – but hopefully soon!

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Do This Continued from page 22 /////////////////////

Batten Down the Hatches @ Broadway Bar, 4 p.m. With Ronald Raygun, Makeshift, Never Go Pro, and many more.

The Wizard of Oz @ Dix Hills Performing Arts Center, 11 a.m. & 2 p.m. Also 4.29, noon & 3 p.m.

The Great Commission @ Vibe Lounge, 4 p.m. With We Are Defiance, Serianna, Convictions and more. Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals @ B.B. King Blues Club, 7:30 & 10 p.m. Stars of Doo-Wop @ Tilles Center, 7 p.m. With Freddy Cannon, The Belmonts, The Original Orlons, The Teenagers and Gene Chandler. Squeeze @ Roseland Ballroom, 8 p.m. With the English Beat.

Javier Colon @ YMCA Boulton Center, 8 p.m. To Kill a Mockingbird @ Bay Street Theatre, 8 p.m. A screening celebrating Harper Lee’s birthday. Port Chuck Band (General Hospital) @ Governor’s, 2 p.m. Steve Hofstetter @ Brokerage, 8 & 10:30 p.m. Hofstetter has been on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Comics Unleashed, Comedy All-Stars and more. He is currently touring

to promote his new album, which reached number one on iTunes’ comedy charts. When Death Calls @ Cinema Arts Centre, 11 p.m. A B-movie of thrills with legendary scream queens. Bob Weir-Solo Acoustic @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury, 7:30 p.m. Known for being the musically restless type, the Grateful Dead’s youngest founding member, Bob Weir, takes the stage at Westbury despite recently swinging through town playing a string of dates with Furthur.—DGdR Halfway to Halloween Costume Party @ The Loyal Dog, 8 p.m.-4 a.m. Innis & Gunn Sampling @ Syosset Beverage, 1-3 p.m. L’Amore Della

Musica @ Atria Cutter Mill, 2-3 p.m. The renowned woodwind group performs. Free and open to the public. Rammstein @ Nassau Coliseum, 8 p.m. A reflection of how music has gone global, industrial metal outfit Rammstein has somehow managed to make inroads into the American market even though essentially all the band’s songs are sung in German. And while certain exceptions have been made by recording material sung in Spanish, Russian, French and the occasional Englishrendered Depeche Mode cover, these Teutonic heavyweights are now headlining arenas in the States despite getting their point across in what frontman Till Lindemann describes Continued on page 26

Friday

4.27

The Art of Death Victorian-era mourning jewelry, memorial hair wreaths and hair jewelry, veils, a tombstone and coffins—The images and traditions of death are explored in “Death Becomes Her,” a new exhibit at the Suffolk County Historical Society (300 W. Main St., Riverhead), featuring contemporary artworks, alongside objects and artifacts from the Suffolk County Historical Society collection. An opening reception will be held from 6-8 p.m. The exhibit will also feature metaphysical and paranormal events throughout the month of May. Exhibiting concurrently down the road at the East End Arts Council (133 E. Main St.) is all-media art show, La Morte, opening the same evening with a reception from 5-7 p.m. La Morte also features a series of paranormal events during the month. Visit www.eastendarts.org and www.suffolkcountyhistoricalsociety.org for full schedules. —JG Venue addresses and information can be found on Page 42

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as “the language of anger.”—Dave Gil de Rubio Free Comedy Showcase for LI Military Veterans @ The Paramount, 3 p.m. Tickets available through local Veteran’s organizations, by e-mail at vets@ paramountny.com, or at The Paramount Box Office, while supplies last. Eileen Ivers & Immigrant Soul @ Landmark on Main Street, 8 p.m. An ambassador of traditional Celtic music, Eileen Ivers is an eight-time All-Ireland fiddle champion and a cast member of the Bill Whelanproduced Riverdance. Moreover, the Bronx native is a former member of supergroup Cherish the Ladies and has worked with everyone from Hall & Oates and Patti Smith to Hothouse Flowers and Paula Cole. With the centennial anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic recently passing, don’t be surprised if Ivers taps into Back to Titanic, the 1998 sequel to the film’s original soundtrack. —DGdR Sunday 4.29 Marilyn Manson @ The Paramount, 8 p.m. Not quite the omni-present pop culture icon he was back in the ’90s, Marilyn Manson has nonetheless stayed creative. In the past decade, the band’s namesake has kept busy attempting a directorial debut, starting an art movement/art gallery and for his adulterous affair with actress Evan Continued on page 28

Where it’s At Do This Venue Information Nassau County

Tpke., Woodbury

Atria Cutter Mill—96 Cut- Tilles Center— 720 ter Mill Rd., Great Neck, Northern Boulewww.atriacuttermill.com vard, Greenvale. 516-299-2752. www. Belmont Racetrack— tillescenter.org Hempstead Turnpike, Elmont. www.nyra.com Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Brokerage Comedy Rock—48 Shelter Rock Club—2797 Merrick Rd, Rd., Manhasset Bellmore. 516-785-8655. www.brokeragecomedy. Vibe Lounge—60 N. Park com Ave., Rockville Centre. 516-208-6590. www. Cure of Ars Church— vibeloungeli.com 2323 Merrick Ave., Merrick Governor’s Comedy Club—90 Division Ave., Levittown. 516-7313358. www.govs.com

Suffolk County

9 East Contemporary—9 E. Carver Street, Huntington

Bay Street Theatre—The Hofstra University— Long Wharf, Sag Harbor. Hempstead Turnpike, 631-725-9500. www. Hempstead. www.hofstra. baystreet.org edu Book Revue—313 New Malverne Historical York Ave., Huntington. House—Ocean Ave., 631-271-1442. www. Malverne bookrevue.com McFadden’s—210 MerBroadway Bar—198 rick Rd., Rockville Centre. Broadway. 631-753516-442-2600. www. 1975. www.clubloaded. mcfaddensrvc.com com Nassau Coliseum—1255 Cinema Arts CenHempstead Tpke., Union- tre—423 Park Ave., Hundale. 631-920-1203. tington 631-423-FILM. www.nassaucoliseum. www.cinemaartscentre. com org Nutty Irishman FarmDix Hills Performing Arts ingdale—323 Main St., Center—305 N. Service Farmingdale. 516-293Rd., Dix Hills. 631-6569700. www.thenuttyirish- 2148. www.dhpac.org man.com East Islip Middle School NYCB Theatre at West—100 Redmen St., Islip bury—960 Brush Hollow Terrace Rd., Westbury. 877-5988694. www.thetheatreat- Gallery North—90 N. westbury.com Country Rd., Setauket. 631-751-2676. www.galPlanting Fields Arbolerynorth.org retum—1395 Planting Fields Rd., Oyster Bay. Guild Hall—158 Main St., 516-922-8670. www. East Hampton plantingfields.org. Loyal Dog—288 E. MonRevolution—140 Merrick tauk Hwy., Lindenhurst. Rd., Amityville. 516-208- 631-225-1535. www.the6590. www.revolutionli. loyaldogalehouse.com com Middle Country Beer Shoreham-Wading River Garden—1702 Middle High School—250 Route Country Rd., Centereach. 25A, Shoreham 631-696-1111. www. muls.com Stehli Beach—1 Bayville Ave., Bayville Our Lady of Grace—666 Albin Ave., West Babylon Syosset Beverage—600 Jericho Tpke., Syosset. Paramount—370 New 516-496-7271. www. York Ave., Huntington beercave.com Patchogue-Watch Hill Syosset -Woodbury Ferry—150 W. Ave., Park—6900 Jericho Patchogue

St. Joseph’s School—25 Church St., Ronkonkoma

Suffolk Community College—Crooked Hill Road, Brentwood YMCA Boulton Center—37 W. Main St., Bay Shore. 631-969-1101. www.boultoncenter.org

Manhattan B.B. Kings Blues Club & Grill—237 W. 42nd St. 212-997-4144. www. bbkingblues.com Barnes & Noble—86th St.: E. 86th St.; 18th St.: 18th Street and 5th Avenue.; Broadway: 82nd Street & Broadway; Union Square: 33 E. 17th St. www.bn.com Beacon Theatre—2124 Broadway. 212-4656500. www.beacontheatre.com Bowery Ballroom—6 Delancey St. 212-5332111. www.boweryballroom.com City Winery—155 Varick St. 212-608-0555. www. citywinery.com Gramercy Theatre—127 E. 23rd St. 212-777-6800. www.thegramercytheatre.com Highline Ballroom—431 W. 16th St. 212-414-5994. www.highlineballroom Irving Plaza—17 Irving Pl. 212-777-6800. www. irvingplaza.com Radio City Music Hall— Roseland Ballroom—239 W. 52nd St. 212-2470200. www.roselandballroom.com Terminal 5—610 W. 56th St. 212-582-6600. www. terminal5nyc.com Town Hall— 123 West 43rd St. 212-840-2824. www.the-townhall-nyc.org Webster Hall—125 E 11th St. 212-353-1600. www.websterhall.com

Brooklyn Bell House—149 Seventh St. 718-643-6510. www. thebellhouseny.com St. Vitus—1120 Manhattan Ave. www.saintvitusbar.com

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Rachel Wood. The band has finally returned to making music with the impending release of Born Villain. It’s self-described by bassist Twiggy Ramirez as “a little more of a punk rock Mechanical Animals without sounding pretentious…” Fans will have to hit Huntington in order to find out for themselves.—DGdR Spring is Sprung Car Show @ Stehli Beach, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Melvins @ Webster Hall, 8 p.m. With Unsane. Twiztid/ Kottonmouth Kings @ Irving Plaza, 6 p.m. With Blaze Ya Dead Homie & Big B. No Outlet @ Vibe Lounge, 3:30 p.m. With Exit Party, Abby Adams, The Notes, Evan K & The Blackbirds. The Shins @ Terminal 5, 7 p.m. With St. Lucia. Through 5.1. Arbor Day Family Festival @ Planting Fields Arboretum, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sophia Moreau & Barbara Sheldon (Married to a Trial Liar) @ Book Revue, 4 p.m. March for Babies @ Eisenhower Park Bamboozle Break Contest Final @ Revolution, 5 p.m. Gustafer Yellowgold’s Year in the Day @ Cinema Arts Centre, Noon. A multimedia experience that is equal parts pop rock concert and hand-drawn cartoon movie. Blessing of the Animals @ Malverne Historical House, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Intercontinental 5K @ Shoreham Wading River High School, 9 a.m. A simultaneous (9 a.m. USA and 4 p.m. Kenya) intercontinental, 5K walkrun fundraiser for an orphanage in Kenya. Monday 4.30 Sepultura @ Irving Plaza, 7 p.m. With Death Angel, Krisiun

& Havok. Barry Manilow @ Radio City, 8 p.m. Through 5.2. Tuesday 5.1 Ryan O’Neal @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Commander Cody @ B.B. King Blues Club Farmageddon @ Cinema Arts Centre, 7:30 p.m. A documentary about the unseen war on America’s family farmers, and the escalating fight for food rights. Wednesday 5.2 Bear Grylls (Man Vs. Wild) @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Dan Rather @ Barnes & Noble Broadway, 7 p.m. Acey Slade and the Dark Party/Beta Plus Embryo/The Blackfires @ St. Vitus, 8 p.m. Eric Hutchinson @ Highline Ballroom, 8 p.m. The Cranberries @ Terminal 5, 7 p.m. Also 5.4, 7 p.m. Thursday 5.3 Vince Gill @ NYCB Theatre @ Westbury, 8 p.m. One of country music’s most versatile performers, Gill possesses a combo of honeyed vocals and killer guitar skills that has not only resulted in a muchrespected solo career, but membership in Pure Prairie League and backup bands for Ricky Skaggs and Rodney Crowell. And that doesn’t even include the time Mark Knopfler invited him to join Dire Straits.— DGdR Lisa Rinna (Days of Our Lives) @ Barnes & Noble 86th St., 7 p.m. Bethenny Frankel @ Book Revue, 7 p.m. Sunrise Skyline/ Everything Grey @ Revolution, 8 p.m. With Two Cent Sam. Sissy Spacek @ Barnes & Noble Union Square, 7 p.m. Lady Antebellum & Darius Rucker @ Radio City Music Hall, 7:30 p.m. Also 5.4, 7:30 p.m.

Venue addresses and info can be found on Page 42

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Movie Reviews By Prairie Miller

John Cusack Plays a boozing and abrasive literary genius—and suspected serial killer—in The Raven, filmmaker James McTeigue’s fictional account of Edgar Allan Poe’s final days.

THE RAVEN

Relativity Media, Rated R

Any movie disclaimer explaining that the following content is based on the last few days of an iconic historical figure when nothing is actually known about that period should be heeded more as a warning than anything else. And in the case of the fictionalized borderline movietoon The Raven, supposedly based on the final days of Edgar Allan Poe’s tormented life, what we’re lured into seeing through the writer’s eyes is less creative genius than, say, pink elephants. And if one were to play detective—not in Poe’s mysteries but rather in scavenging for clues as to the perpetrator of this blasphemous-whennot-screwball rendering of the immortal writer’s tragic life, Exhibit A is The Raven’s Australian filmmaker, James McTeigue. Likely mulling a master plan to marry older literary classic fan expectations with a video game sensibility in order to seduce attention-lacking youngsters into theaters, the director of V for Vendetta and Ninja Assassin has masterminded a mockery of a formula likely to appeal to neither. John Cusack does his best to breathe passion and wildness into his Poe. But given little of dramatic substance to work with, his character essentially plays out as an annoying madman for the film’s tedious duration. It seems that Poe, along with the Baltimore police and local newspapers, are being taunted by a mysterious mid-19thcentury serial killer, a terrifying entity who is maliciously acting out Poe’s stories one by one. It’s an alarming situation that initially focuses suspicions on the bewildered, when not inebriated out of his mind, wordsmith. And what would seem to begin as a pungently moody and atmospheric period biopic abruptly switches genre gears into slasher-gore territory as Poe’s stories are reenacted in the most gruesome and cheesy fashion, while Poe spends most of his time running about town boozing it up in pubs, bragging in an abrasively confrontational manner and storming into editorial offices demanding that his literary genius be recognized and his work be published immediately—or at least free of rewrites. Amidst all this untamed narrative frenzy and panic, a strikingly contrasting ho-hum sidebar love story rears its dull head, with Alice Eve as Emily, the undercover lover of Poe, dodging her disapproving dad (Brendan Gleeson) while eliciting zero erotic chemistry with her assigned egghead 30

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object of desire, and spending most of the movie trapped in a coffin or alternately under the floorboards where, believe me, she is not for a moment missed. While it would certainly be unreasonable to expect any movie to emulate the literary richness attributed to Poe, it is no reason to go about reinventing, or rather fixing something that is in no way broken. In any case, it will come as no surprise if the next step in mining the writer’s legacy for cheap, sensationalistic financial gain, should make its debut as Poe: The Video Game.

BERNIE

Millenium Entertainment, Rated PG-13

‘Don’t mess with Texas’ may be the prevailing cautionary proclamation from that region, but director Richard Linklater evidently couldn’t care less. The Houston homeboy who single-handedly transformed the notion of the slacker into a household word in 1991 with his similarly titled groundbreaker film, is back with quite the opposite idea for a protagonist in mind. Namely, Jack Black as a ferocious workaholic undertaker in the wacky Bible Belt satire, Bernie. Jack Black is Bernie Tiede, a recently arrived assistant mortician in smalltown Texas. A giddy embalmer who prides himself on fastidiously running the mortuary like a beauty parlor, Tiede is a perfectionist devoted to keeping his assigned corpses elegantly “casketed and cosmeticized.” But the Carthage, Texas, tongues are incited to wagging when the fortysomething bachelor begins showering flirtatious attention on the elderly women of the town. Especially after he apparently sets his sights on the local mean queen and fabulously wealthy widow, scowling octogenarian hermit Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine). Eventually and rather astoundingly, Bernie wears down the resistant recluse in what seems like his most satisfyingly formidable and challenging conquest in the vicinity. And though Marjorie doesn’t exactly succumb to his charms, she eventually accepts him into her life— in essentially reverse order—as constant

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companion, entertainer, servant, doting doormat and henpecked object of extreme pathological scorn. So when Bernie becomes overwhelmed by her abuse and impulsively shoots her dead one day, both the characters and audience members are not likely to condemn him for offing the impossible shrew. Though subsequently hiding Marjorie’s body in their home freezer and explaining her disappearance as assorted ailments necessitating her checking into a far-flung nursing home does compromise the collective sympathy for Bernie— especially the snarling town D.A. Danny Buck Davidson (Matthew McConaughey), who obsesses about nailing his prime suspect early on. With elusively drawn plot points

Jack Black as Bernie Tiede, a ferocious workaholic undertaker with homicidal tendancies, in Richard Linklater’s wacky Bible Belt satire, Bernie.

that are as unconventional as can be, Linklater teases the audience throughout this dramatic tossed salad where mostly anything goes, which can have the effect of summoning wildly unanticipated surprises one moment and frustrating consternation soon after. So, is Bernie a Texas varmint or a victim driven to desperate measures to silence his annoying and overbearing livein tyrant? Who knows? With Jack Black in the dysfunctional driver’s seat, the pleasure is all in the journey, rather than the destination.

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Crossword NO WHEY! ACROSS 1 TV host John 5 Full of oneself 9 Amontillado container 13 Beseeched 17 Nile feature 18 In good health 19 “- Without Love” (‘68 hit) 20 Sanctuary 22 Hood’s handle 23 Admiral Zumwalt 24 Tiny part of a second 25 Wagner work 26 Annealing oven 27 Flagon filler 28 Newspaper 30 Take-home 31 Start of a remark 35 Ring stat 36 Thwack 37 Compact cotton 38 “Great Expectations” character 40 Cad 42 Mythical being 44 Hateful 50 Give a little 51 Green 52 Yesterday’s thresher 53 Lillian or Dorothy 54 Ivy Leaguer 55 Fancy dessert 56 First dog in space 57 Where cats congregate 58 Pie - mode 59 Lofty peak 60 Distribute the

donuts 61 Keats composition 62 Middle of remark 70 Born 71 ‘87 Peace Prize winner 72 Solidify 73 “- Shook Up” (‘57 smash) 74 Corny goddess? 77 Colossal commotion 78 Malicious to the max 80 Where rams romp 81 Bus starter? 82 Thirteen, to a baker 83 Soprano Fleming 84 - impasse 85 Dachshund or donkey 87 Pianist Jorge 88 “- Old Cow Hand” (‘36 song) 89 Objective 90 Counter change 91 Botanist Gray 92 Age 95 End of remark 104 Road to enlightenment 105 Generally 106 - choy 107 Rocker Billy 108 Tracking tool 110 Manuscript enc. 111 “Surely you -” 113 Lowliest cadet 114 Caustic

115 Yemeni port 116 “New Jack City” actor 117 Beast of Borden 118 Long lunch? 119 For fear that 120 Non-stereo 121 Little ones DOWN 1 Word form for “end” 2 Nobelist Root 3 Stiffened a shirt 4 Contains 5 Expand 6 Free-for-all 7 City on the Danube 8 Day- 9 Finger food 10 Stun 11 Less loopy 12 TV’s “- Landing” 13 Symbol of immortality 14 Drink like a Doberman 15 Happening 16 Writer Walcott 17 Tyne of “Cagney & Lacey” 21 West. alliance 27 Coldest cont. 28 Audacity 29 Tevye’s portrayer 32 Sneeze and wheeze 33 Superior to 34 Chip’s chum 39 Infant oinker 40 “Greetings!” 41 Early computer

42 Buccaneers’ headquarters 43 Spare part? 44 With 47 Down,

LEAGUE FOR ANIMAL PROTECTION

Italian export 45 Produces pies 46 Actress Long 47 See 44 Down

48 Manipulate 49 Diffident 50 Drum din 51 Nick of “Q&A”

Sudoku

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There once was a funny show on TV called “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Though the show and I share the commonality of a name, sadly, I have not been as well received. While the title of that series aligns with how LAP volunteers feel about me, generally my life has been quite sad. I spent my first year in a shelter which took a toll on my well-being. It was decided I needed a break, so I went to stay with a wonderful trainer who taught me many things about living in a home and remarked what a great dog I was! Unfortunately, this was a temporary situation, so I am now living in a kennel. Although I am fed and cared for, I am forgetting some of the things I learned in that home. With love, daily exercise and a refresher course, I can reclaim that honor! I am smart, food motivated, eager to please, know many commands and even give paw. As a ‘leaner’, I want nothing more than to melt like butter in your arms. I need an experienced person or foster home willing to help me pick-up on where I last left off. LAP is here to guide you through the process every step of the way. What do you say? Look into my eyes, take my paw and lead me away! I am such a special boy and deserving of another chance. Please contact LAP today and give my sad show a happy ending!

52 Gets on 55 Perkins role 56 “Frederica” composer 57 Mature 60 Descendant 61 Ready to reduce 63 Silverware city 64 Infirmary item 65 Went wrong 66 Snowy bird 67 “Big Three” site 68 New York city 69 - Bator 74 - au vin 75 Aussie walker 76 Cell stuff 77 Dandy 78 Hailing from Aberystwyth 79 In accord 82 Swashbuckling novelist 83 ‘48 Hitchcock film 84 Texas town 86 “I Love Lucy”

surname 87 Tour-de-France vehicle 88 Adjectival suffix 90 Aptitude 91 Say please 92 Pound of poetry 93 Extend 94 Wrestling giant 96 Twangy 97 Commerce 98 Classical nonet 99 “Hedda Gabler” playwright 100 Club creed 101 What i.e. stands for 102 “Ora pro -” 103 Painter Paul 109 Word on a pump 111 Bowie or Bakker 112 Author Umberto 113 Cosset a corgi

Last Week’s Answers

“Saving the life of one animal may not change the world, but the world will surely change for that one animal.”

631-757-9373 or dogs@LAPHuntington.org www.LAPHuntington.org 34

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