The write stuff

W E S

Jodie Isitt, 34, from eading wants you to know why she’s so proud of her family…

I’ve always believed that the secret to a happy life is not to take it too seriously.

And when it comes to my family, that’s what gets us through every day.

You see, all three of my children have autism.

When I met my partner Kenny, now 43, back in 2005, it had been love at first sight.

We got together pretty quickly and couldn’t wait to start a family of our own.

And our dreams came true the following year when I fell pregnant. Cradling my growing bump, I dreamed of our happy future.

Our son Stanley was born on 25 June 2007, a perfectly gorgeous little bundle of joy.

‘He’s beautiful,’ Kenny smiled. We quickly adapted to life as a family of three, got used to night feeds and nappy changes.

Stanley was a perfect baby – so incredibly quiet.

In 2008, I fell pregnant with our second child, and even through morning sickness and back pain, I couldn’t wait for our family to grow.

I knew Stanley would be a wonderful big brother.

Our daughter Lola was born on 30 July 2009, and just like her big brother, she was such a quiet, well-behaved baby. But not for long. At just a few weeks old, Lola would start to be sick every time I fed her, and she wasn’t afraid to show us how she felt, either – screaming her head off whenever she got the chance. Kenny and I soon realised how lucky we’d actually been with Stanley!

As a toddler, Lola was very stressed out.

Strapping her in her car seat to take her out shopping, she would panic and only stop screaming when I released her. She hated being confined. Excited to have a little girl, I loved dressing her up

pretty dresses, too, but Lola ated wearing clothes, would rip hem off as soon as she could. As Lola’s demands took ver, poor Stanley had taken a ack seat for his little sister.

He’d become quieter than usual, would sometimes barely peak at all.

‘I feel like I’m neglecting him,’ I confessed to Kenny, feeling so guilty.

But over time, Lola needed me more and more.

By the time she was two years old, after doing some research, I reasoned that she was autistic.

She had all the signs – difficulty processing her

emotions and overreacting to even just the smallest changes in her routine.

It seemed like a simple explanation to me, but getting a diagnosis was incredibly difficult. Every time I took Lola to the doctor, she’d be so quiet and well behaved – as if she knew exactly what we were trying to do!

Back home, she’d be back to her usual self, screaming her head off uncontrollably.

The doctor arranged for a health visitor to assess Lola for a period of six months, and in the meantime, all we could do was wait. Then, in December 2011, I fell pregnant again.

And while the pregnancy was straightforward enough, so much changed for our family in the next nine months.

Back at the doctor with Lola, I’d figured out a way to prove my point. As Lola fiddled with the light in the GP’s office, I went over to her. ‘Lola, stop that now!’ I scolded. The sudden jolt in her routine sent Lola into hysterics – as I’d expected. Finally, the doctor was seeing what I was seeing, and at three years old, Lola was officially diagnosed with autism.

After so long, it was such a relief to finally have the diagnosis.

Now we needed to act on it. ‘We need to learn how to help her the best we possibly can,’ I said to Kenny that night.

So I signed up to a parenting course to learn all I could about raising a child with autism.

But while the course was helpful with Lola, it revealed something even more surprising.

Going over my notes one evening, I made a realisation.

All the signs of autism – avoiding It took months for a diagnosis We couldn’t wait to be parents My kids are my inspiration

REAL LIFE

eye contact, delayed speech and a reliance on routines – described Stanley exactly.

‘I think Stanley is autistic, too,’ I said to Kenny. And I was right. Just four months after Lola was diagnosed, it was confirmed that Stanley also had autism.

I felt so guilty – while all the attention had been on Lola, poor little Stanley had gone unnoticed. Still, now we knew exactly what we were up against.

Having two children with autism wasn’t going to be easy, but Kenny and I were determined to give them the best life possible.

Then, later that year, when I was heavily pregnant, we were dealt yet another blow.

One morning, Kenny fell off his scooter, breaking his collarbone.

While being treated for that, he was diagnosed with something called X-linked adrenoleukodystrophy, a rare condition which affects his spinal cord.

It meant he’d be in pain all the time, have terrible back pain and constant pins and needles in his legs. And the worst part was that there was no cure for it.

Pretty soon he was struggling to even get out of bed and had to rely on a mobility scooter to get around. It certainly made life more difficult for us, but Kenny never once complained.

On 2 September that year, I gave birth to our third child, Connie-Mai. And for the first few months of her life, she was so quiet – she wouldn’t even giggle.

And I knew right away – ConnieMai had autism.

As a toddler, when she would carefully arrange her teddies in a neat row and started repeating words, my suspicions were confirmed.

And just like her siblings, she was exceptionally clever.

Finally, in 2017, when Connie-Mai was five, she was officially diagnosed with autism.

That same year, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, an autoimmune disease which damages the thyroid gland. It means I’m tired all the time, my hair falls out, and I can often get very poorly.

‘We’re quite the family!’ Kenny joked. And we really are. I’m not sure how rare it is to have three children with autism, but I know we’re very special.

Stanley, now 12, is now on medication for ADHD, but is such a polite, kind little boy. He’s honest and funny, and there’s not a bad bone in his body. Lola, now 10, is also on medication for ADHD.

She loves anything messy and is such a joker.

Taking after her dad, she loves playing pranks, and is all smiles wh spider has hysterics

Connie Mai, now seven, isn’t on any medication at the moment, and is such an affectionate little girl.

She loves cuddles and kisses with Mummy, and I’m more than happy to oblige.

All three of my children are happy and thriving, and I couldn’t be more proud.

Last year, I got the idea to write a book about autism.

And as Lola has the most rare form of autism out of all my kids, I decided to base it on her life. And so Autism with Lola was created – a series of stories about Lola and her experiences.

The book is aimed at kids, with the hopes of showing them that there’s nothing about autism that they need to be afraid of. In one of the stories, Lola feels scared that other children will make fun of her.

In the end, she manages to make friends, and teaches them that she’s just a normal little girl.

I want to show children that while autistic kids might need a little help, they’re just normal kids they can be friends with.

It also includes an expert section, with an occupational therapist’s advice for teachers on how to manage autistic children.

I self-published in June last year, and so far, thankfully, the book has been a great success.

Kenny and the kids love it, too, and Lola is so proud to have been my inspiration. But to be honest, all my kids are n to me. o is Kenny. spite his ilitating ndition, he stops t nothing to help take care of the

kids and works so hard to provide for us.

You may think we’re an unlucky

family, but to me, we couldn’t be luckier.

All my kids are so incredible, and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Every family has its challenges, and we’re no different.

We are who we are, and the most important thing is that we’re all happy. I want my book to help others I’m so proud of all of them We’re quite the family!

Get a copy of Autism with Lola at www.autismwithlovepublishing.com My little muse

Just for FUN Dame Helen Mirren has revealed that, long with her globe-trotting acting reer, she is also in business as a at? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the letters in the shaded squares to find the two-word answer. The biggie

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13

60 Tepid (8) 61 Colourful sleeveless pullover (4, 3) 63 Wheel’s rubber part (4) 64 Militarily intrude upon another country (6) 65 Large bird of prey (5) 66 Left high and dry, on a desert island perhaps (8)

14 15 16

17 18 19

20

21 22 23 24 25

26 27

28 29 30 31

32

33 34 35 36

37

38 39 40

41

42 4443

45 46 47

48 49 50 51

52 53

54 55 56 57 58

59

60 61 62 63

64 65 66

ACROSS 11 Eye specialist who supplies spectacles (8) 12 Molar or incisor (5) 13 Spanish capital (6) 14 Sound bouncing round a 42 Across (4) 15 Evened the score, retaliated (7) 16 Garments known as pants in the US (8) 17 Wide and tidal river mouth (7) 18 Acrobatic athlete (7)

19 Accepted standard (4) 21 Ordeal (5) 23 Road area set aside for public transport (3,4) 24 Top naval officer (7) 28 Bother, rumpus (4) 29 Sprint (3) 30 Decorative strip of silky material (6) 33 Old soldier (7) 35 Metal barrel of beer (3) 36 Tiny particle of matter (4) 38 Part of a dance (4) 39 Waterlogged (3)

40 High-ranking soldier (7) 42 Deep gorge (6) 43 In good shape (3) 44 Fashionable and stylish (4) 48 Sight creted by sunshine in a shower (7) 50 Took on legal responsibility for a child (7) 51 Elephant’s nose (5) 54 Strap for holding up 16 Across (4) 56 Row of houses (7) 57 Courtroom testifier (7)

DOWN 1 Pungent and piquant flavourings (6) 2 Field glasses (10) 3 Weird and exotic (7) 4 South American mountains (5) 5 Male deer (4) 6 Tasty ingrediant added on the plate (9) 7 French castle (7) 8 Bought in from abroad (8) 9 Thomas - - -, US inventor of the light bulb (6) 10 Keeper of books (9) 18 Swallow hard (4) 20 Amusing, comical (5) 22 Casino game (8) 25 Quarantine,. segregate (7) 26 New York’s theatre land (8) 27 Sir Francis - - -, Elizabethan seafarer (5) 31 French stick (8) 32 Charitable gift (8) 34 Give the meaning of something (7) 37 Wasp’s poisonous weapon (5) 41 Proposal (5) 44 and 58 Down Weatherfield soap (10,6) 45 Have alternate goes (4, 5) 46 Point after deuce in tennis (9) 47 Duellist’s sword (4) 49 Old-fashioned (8) 52 Beat keeper in a rock band (7) 53 Where flights begin and end (7) 55 Protective front part of a shoe (6) 58 See 44 Down 59 Token stuck on a letter (5) 62 Require (4)