How to use your remote this fall

by Nick Luchko staff writer

Let the frenzy begin. The fall television season has arrived with so many shows that it can only make one say, "Stop, I can't take it anymore!" This year will mark the return of some familiar faces and the exit of some audience favorites. Television will provide the viewers with a blast from the 70s and, believe it or not a sexist, crossdressing rendition of Abraham Lincoln. So let's tune in to what television has to offer for all you couch potatoes.

On Monday Nights, you football fans can now go to bed early, because ABC has moved Monday Night Football from 9 p.m. to 8 p.m.

The competition against football should be rough with Fox's "Ally McBeal" and CBS's "Everybody Loves Raymond" at 9 p.m. The wildcard of the Monday night lineup may be the brand new UPN program, "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer" at 9 p.m. The basis of this series is a portrayal of Abraham Lincoln's butler being the real brains behind the presidency, while Mr. Lincoln is fooling around with the ladies and partying into the night. Monday night looks to be a very strong night for television viewing.

Tuesday nights, the WB's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" returns with teen sensation Sarah Michelle Gellar at 8 p.m. Following Buffy is one of the most talked about shows on the fall schedule, "Felicity," at 9 p.m.

It is based around a young college freshman (Keri Russell) who is try- ing to find herself. The competition is fierce at NBC with "Mad About You" rumored to be in its last season at 8 p.m. on next followed by "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and the new "Brother's Keeper" at 9:30 p.m.

1997-98 season, "Dawson's Creek," returns on a new night and time, Wednesday at 8 p.m. This year Dawson and Joey finally realize their true love towards one another.

Going against "Dawson" is "Beverly Hills 90210." This year marks the return of Luke Perry and the departure of Jason Priestley.

Another 90210 grad also returns to the small screen, as Shannon Doherty stars in "Charmed" at 9 p.m. on the WB.

Over at NBC those twisted aliens from "3rd Rock from the Sun" are on at 9 p.m. and Jon Lovitz replaces the late Phil Hartman on "News Radio" at 9:30 p.m.

ABC delivers a knock-out punch of comedy with "Dharma and Greg" at 8 p.m., "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place" at 8:30 p.m., "The Drew Carey Show" at 9 p.m. and the new "Secret Lives of Men" at 9:30 p.m.

Thursday night once again looks like a winner for NBC. Even with the departure of "Seinfeld," NBC will probably continue to rule the television screens with the lineup they have established.

At 8 p.m. "Friends" returns with Ross and Rachel still trying to figure out what is going on between them. Christina App legate turns away from her Kelly Bundy character to star in "Jesse" at 8:30 p.m. In this series, she is a single mom who is trying to become a nurse.

Fox provides viewers with the highly regarded "Millennium" at 9 p.m. The best match-up of the night should be NBC's "Homicide: Life on the Streets" versus CBS's "Nash Bridges" at 10 p.m. Both shows have the same audience so one will most likely lose out. "The plane, the plane!" No, its not that little guy, but his old show, "Fantasy Island," is back on television at 9 p.m. on ABC. Also on ABC, at 10 p.m., the brand new "Cupid" debuts. The premise of this show concerns a man who must make 100 matches between men and women in order to be allowed back to Mt. Olympus.

Fox has the usual Saturday night programming with "Cops" at 8 p.m. and "America's Most Wanted" to follow. CBS goes with

"Encore! Encore!," starring Nathan Lane, starts at 8:30 p.m. "Just Shoot

At 8 p.m. on ABC, "Home Improvement" returns with both Zachery Ty Bryan (Brad) and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Randy) departing from the show.

"NYPD Blue," 10 p.m., will also see some changes as Jimmy Smits will be leaving. His replacement will be none other than Rick Schroder, who is famous for the television series "Silver Spoons."

At Fox, the normal movie night is out and "King of the Hill" at 8 p.m. is in. FoUowing Hank Hill will be the new comedy "Costello" and the horror series "Brimstone" at 9 p.m.

The most talked about show of most coveted time slot in television at 9 p.m.

The Emmy award winning series "Fraiser," takes over the "Dawson's Creek" returns for its second season on the WB Network at 8:00 p.m. on Wednesday nights.

"Veronica's Closet" returns for its third season at 9:30 p.m. "ER" ends the night at 10 p.m. with the addition of Kellie Martin and the departure of George Clooney at the end of this season.

The only real competition comes from the WB with "Wayans Bros" at 8 p.m. and "Jamie Foxx Show" following it at 8:30 p.m.

Fox will continue to show the "World's Wildest Police Videos" at 8 p.m. for all you renegades.

"Jesse/ starring Christina Applegate, airs Thursday nights on NBC at 8:30 p.m.

ABC's TGIF lineup features "Full House" alums Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen on the brand new "Two of a Kind" at 8 p.m.

"Boy Meets World" comes lowed by "Martial Law" at 9 p.m. and "Walker: Texas Ranger" at lOp.m.

"Early Edition" at 8 p.m., folMe" takes over for "Fraiser" at 9 p.m. and "Working" finds a home at 9:30 p.m.

NBC introduces a night of drama with the new "Wind on Water" at 8 p.m., "Pretender" at 9 p.m. and "Profiler" ending the night at 10 p.m.

Sunday night goes back to the era of disco and afros as Fox presents "That 70s Show" at 8:30 p.m.

"The Sirnpsons" are also back for another year at 8 p.m. and "The X-Files" fresh off a movie success comes in at 9 p.m.

The CBS drama, "Touched by Angel," checks in at 8 p.m., going against "NBC Dateline."

Fresh off an Emmy award for Best Drama, "The Practice" has competition only from CBS or NBC movie of the week at 10 p.m illustrations by Victor Sgro photos obtained from Internet.

Now that you know what is on, go get some popcorn, grab your remote and enjoy the show.