THE NIELSEN RATINGS (HOLIDAY EDITION)

Old Navy- they charge friggin $1.50 for a gift box. And their commercials are not all that funny this year, either.

"Dogma"- a black apostle (Rufus, the 13th and forgotten one), a monster made of poop, and Alanis Morrisette as God. Snoogie Boogies all around! (an obscure Kevin Smith movie reference)

Snapple in the food court- I think Wood Dining service is confused. $1.75 is too much for Snapple. It's not really made from the best stuff on Earth. Yuengling Lager is.

Yuengling Lager- damn that's good stuff!

The Loquitur's first 12 issues- it ain't high art, it ain't really journalism, but you love it, baby. You know you do!

Cafeteria Steak Night- almost makes up for $1.75 Snapple

House 5- the house that's so nice I lived there twice. And we had "Tomfest" and you didn't..

"The Late Show with Craig Kilborn" - I have at long last found a role model, and it is Kilborn

And finally, Happy Holidays to everyone in the business office, public safety, and Valley Forge. My section wouldn't be the same without you guys!

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