One student can make a difference, after all

A few short weeks ago, my friend Colin and I had a brief discussion about whether one person can really make a differCHRIS NIELSEN ence. Being of a pessimistic ., nature, I stated that no one student could make a difference on this campus.

For those who haven't been around long enough to remember, when the apartments were first completed the RAs played an insignificant role in their resident's lives, therefore "independent living." Also, first-year students were allowed to live in the apartments. The administration pointed their collective fingers at the Class of 2001 every time that there was damage to the CAC, which there was every weekend. Thus, only juniors and seniors are allowed to live there now.

C Ol\1 l\I E NTA RY

Little did I know that a few short hours later, one student's actions would come to completely change the policies of the Cabrini Apartment Complex. See, Colin was right, it only takes one person.

I know that a lot of you must now be thinking "Oh----, another commentary about the apartments. Maybe Nielsen will bust on Public Safety and talk about beer while he's at it." But don't go away yet, I have a few good points to make.

First off, I want to address the "independent living" situation at the apartments. Yeah, when the building was completed, two years ago, it was described as independent living. I'll bet whoever chose to give the building that title is kicking themself today. But, I have not heard any significant member of the administration refer to it as such since. The reason is because independent living was an experiment that failed.

So you can plainly see that the apartments are not the same as they were two years ago. There has been a number of changes in policy, for those who haven't paid attention.

There have always been college students/baboons who get a kick out of pulling the fire alarm. They are probably the same ones who stole the milk money in grade school and threw the stink bombs in high school. And the majority of these baboons have never been caught or punished, because punishing them would take too much effort on the part of their school.

So our dean, Paul Weaver, gets stuck with the job of putting the children in the time-out chair. The whole thing is reminiscent of the days when your fourth grade teacher wouldn't let the class go to recess until the kid who stole the milk money "fessed up." The whole class got punished because they were afraid to tell on the kid, who was either their friend or the guy who bullied them around.

So the apartment residents have a time-out until they learn to behave themselves. As for their usual guests, some have moved on to partying in the houses or Xavier Hall. This didn't exactly catch Resident Life or Public Safety by surprise, and most of the few big gatherings have been broken up.

I'm kind of tom up about what to do with myself until I'm allowed to return to the CAC with my schoolbag full of cheap beer. I was on a roll the last time I played "beer pong" up in the apartments and I'm anxious to return. I don't think it will be that much longer now before things are back to normal. But will anybody learn anything from all this, or is the whole thing just a memorable sidenote of the year? If last week was any indication, at least one sick monkey hasn't learned his lesson yet. A window on the third floor was there on Thursday night and wasn't on Friday morning. Of course, no one will admit to it or tell who did it. And of course, this same horse's behind will complain about the policy.

Like I said in the beginning of this commentary, I am a pessimist. I half believe that just as there are copycat killers, their may well be a copycat sprinkler just aching to take a swim on the second floor.

There are only two ways that I could really see to housebreak the remaining sick monkeys. One would be to appeal to their limited sensibilities and inform everyone of the real danger of not having sufficient fire equipment and not taking fire safety seriously. The tragic deaths at Seton Hall are a sad, but potent way to prove a point.

Assuming that this won't work, there is one investment left that the school could make to calm things down in the apartments. Install a red ink contraption in the sprinkler system and in the fire alarms. That way, if there really is a fire, the person will have proof that he/she is a hero. If it is just a joke, resident life will finally have caught the baboon redhanded. We have the technology people, lets use it.

Chris Nielsen is the perspectives editor of Loquitur. The rumor that he set off the sprinkler system to fill the perspectives section is not true.

HEY LOOK, THE PRESIDENT SURE HAS A BIG ELECTION!

In an effort to make the Loquitur a more educational and worldly newspaper, the Nielsen Ratings will now be replaced by a political column. It will serve to keep the student populace informed through Nielsen's completely biased political views.

First, lets introduce the Republican Party front runner: George "dubbya" Bush- the current governor of Texas, best known for being the son of one-term president, George Bush. He has lots of money, and the support of virtually all the Republican lobbyists that matter. He lacks a strong position on abortion and is pro death penalty.

His biggest weaknesses may come from his past. Although he is a Yale graduate, he didn't exactly light the world on fire in college. He also had a reputation as a party guy, and he has had to repeatedly deny allegations of drug use while in college.

These factors may hurt him because he is perceived as less intelligent than some of the other candidates. Also, his knowledge of foreign affairs is at best, questionable.

•Length: No more than two typed pages

•Requirements: Names will not be withheld from letters to the editor or commentaries, even at the author's request.