'80s writes year-end review; people read it

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' Since this is the last Loquitur of the year 2000, I am required by unnatural law to write a yearend review. I'll make this quick, or as quick as I get in terms of writing.

Y2K came and went with a whimper. Armageddon did not come, but our recent presidential election debacle does suggest that we shouldn't tear down our survival shelters. Although the US Senate and the House make the laws in this country, it's the president who has that bright, shiny red button in his office marked "NUKE." So if anyone ever tells you that the office of the President of the United States is overrated, refer them to the button that can melt you where you stand.

On Cabrini's campus, we went from one war ·to another with a summer seperating them. In the spring, there was the housing crisis where it seemed that seniors were going to get screwed out of housing for next year. Harsh words were exchanged, but in the end the seniors got their housing as stated in an agreement they signed when they enrolled as freshmen.

Then came the September War between our new administration, led by the puppetmaster President Iadarola who mandated new regulations and decreed their immediate enforcement by the new, Iadarola-selected Vice President of Student Development Dr. Laura Valente and the now departing head of the revamped Residence Life Laurie Keenan-McGarvey. They were dark days, but a tentative peace accord was reached in October through meetings and tranquility returned to the campus.

The New York Yankees won the World Series again, this time by shelling out the gross national product of Cameroon to buy another championship.

There were the Summer Olympics, which I missed. And there was WrestleMania 2000, which I watched.

"Beverly Hills 9021 O" and "Party of Five" left the airwaves; however, Dawson's Creek still remains.

Hollywood finally made a good movie based on a comic in "X-Men." Yet Hollywood let us know that they'll still crank out feces on film with "Coyote Ugly."

In fashion, the '80s look started to make a comeback, which is good news for me. I've had enough of you '60s and '70s lovers. It's my time now! We're going to wear some decent clothes for a change.

Unworthy people got their fifteen minutes fame, like Darva "Who wants to be a media whore" Conger and Monica "insert old joke here'' Lewinsky. Thankfully their time is over.

Professional wrestler Mick Foley (a.k.a. Mankind) became a best-selling author with his autobiography "Have a Nice Day" that he wrote by band during a six week injury break from the WWF. If you haven't read this book yet, you haven't read anything all year.

We have Viagra, the potency pill for getting aroused. We also have RU-486, the abortion pill for when Viagra makes the man a bit too potent.

Gas prices went up thanks to OPEC's decision to not raise production. The ratings of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" went down thanks to "Survivor." America's population got older as the baby boom population gets grayer. Our entreprenuers got younger as college students start web companies such as Napster. The rich got richer as AOL and

Time Warner merged. And when the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.

And finally, to get a cheap cheer from my collegiant readers, a new batch of us turned 21 in the year 2000.

So enjoy Y2K while you can because it's going to be over soon and enjoy Christmas or Chanukah or Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate. And prepare yourself for 2001. I beard that's when Judgment Day is coming.

Mike 'BOsButler is Perspectives Editor of the Loquitur. He is also going to be in the Mr. Cabrini Pageant

Do you know of a heated debate that deserves attention? Write Mike '80s Butler and give him the beef. Visit the website at: www.theloquitur.com

Letter to the editor

Among all the problems that have come along this year regarding housing, new visitation policies and stricter drinking rules there is one major problem that is being overlooked that many are faced with everyday. The computer labs have become a major headache for many residents on campus who either don't have a computer or a printer. It seems to me that with the beginning of the 21st century computers we should have computers that will fulfill even the smallest need of word processing and printing, but the lab that is provided at Cabrini does not do this.

The computer lab in Founders Hall room 313 is the only official computer lab for students to use. With about 25 computers and two printers, it is often full or the printers are out of paper. Often computers will either freeze or not open a disc. In the numerous times I have been in the computer lab I have never seen the person who is supposed to portray a lab monitor. With the problem$ that I have had with the lab I could have used someone to help me. The hours of the computer lab are also insufficient in my mind. I personally have never heard of a student who never did work on weekends and would like to print a paper on a Sunday night. This is not as bad as believing the lab is open during a certain time because it is written on the schedule, and it happens not to be, leaving you with an assignment you were hoping to print because you relied on the computer lab. All in all, the computer lab is very disappointing and could really use some renovating.

My most recent experience with the computer lab bas left me disappointed and angry at the lack of care and effort put into the lab. When trying to print out a 15 page paper due that day I found that no paper was left in the printers. Since there was no lab monitor there to help me with my dilemma, I went to class hoping to return to a working printer.

When I returned I found myself facing a computer that was refus- ing to open my disc. Again, a lab monitor was not there to help me. After going to several computers and then frustrated returning to my room I was told by my computer that my disk was infected with a virus and did not want to open my 15 page paper.

I would like this to be a warning to all students who will be fervently using the computer lab over the next few weeks. Note that no one is there to help you with your computer problems and with the many people using that lab in a day a virus may well creep up on you and your lengthy papers.

I would also like to make a recommendation to those responsible for the labs. Find computer monitors if you're going to put the word "computer monitor" on the board and organize your times. It would save everyone a great deal of anger and frustra-tion.

Tanya McCausland

(610)

•Length: No more than two typed pages •Requirements: Names will not be withheld from letters to the editor or commentaries, even at the author's request.