Sex and your personality

GINA PERACCHIA PERSPECTIVES EDITOR GMP722@CABRINI.EDU

Sex is an extremely easy yet compli~ated topic to talk about. It's universal. But does that mean everyone is doing it? And are there differences between a person's personality before and after they've had sex?

I've been struggling with these questions for a while, and from my own personal experience, I think that sex does not necessarily change your personality but rather the way you perceive sex, and no, everyone is not doing it. But, everyone from virgins to non-virgins talk about it everyday.

I'm in a serious, long-term relationship, and out of this relationship I've learned that sex is more than just sex. It deals with how mature and responsible you are as a person. If you're not mature enough to understand the effects sex has on you emotionally and mentally, then you 're not ready to experience it. If you 're irresponsible, then you won't be able to handle some of the consequences of sex. There are so many different things that can happen, and some people are not grown up enough yet to handle them. This is why sex is so complicated. These are some things people need to think about before deciding to do something that is considered special to some people, and not as big of a deal to others.

Now that I'm done telling you everything your parents told you in their birds and the bees speech when you were 11 years old, I'll tell you how I look at sex.

I agree that you should at least be with someone who is special to you. I'm not saying you have to be in love with the person, but if you're comfortable with them and truly care about them and you want to share this experience with them, then go for it.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I wasn't in love with him just yet, but I trusted him enough and was more than comfortable with him to share something so intimate. That was my decision, and I think I made that decision in the most mature way possible. We both made the decision together. I'm not trying to sound corny, but sex isn't something to be taken lightly. I've seen too many 14 and 15 year olds deciding to have sex too early and they either end up pregnant or with broken hearts; not to mention constantly thinking about what they did and not being able to concentrate on anything else.

I don't think my personality is much different from how it was in my virginal days, but I do think, because I've experienced something that is filled with a large amount of responsibility, that my maturity level has been raised and I know how to make one of the most complicated decisions in life.

ANNE MARIE WHITE PERSPECTIVES EDITOR AMW724@CABRINI.EDU

I invite you to take a peek into my diary. "My friend said that he'd be glad the day that I start having sex. I told him I knew he will. Then my stomach dropped when I read 'would you consider losing your virginity with a close friend?'"

For the people that really know me, you can only imagine the facial expression that I made when I heard that lovely question. Needless to say no incomprehensible words came out of my mouth.

Up to the age of 14, I would blush uncontrollably when the word "sex" was mentioned in conversation. Fortunately, I grew out of that. Pariah-status isn't exactly a glamorous role in life. It made me think though.

How would I be different if I had fallen for a passe line like that? How many times have I heard a guy tell me he wants to be "my first"? With all the talk around m e about how sex is SO good, the temptation is even stronger to give in to the pressure. Not to mention that I'm feeling outnumbered by the non-virgins!

The things that keep my prized purity intact are product of a sheltered life. I am aware that if my. family were to ever find out that I was not a virgin that my head would be chopped off. But seriously, in my culture, to have sex before marriage would be to bring dishonor to my family. Talk about pressure when you are brimming with all those emotions and hormones!

I also want sex to be meaningful; just giving away ''my goodies" to anyone would be sacrilegious. That guy has to be pretty damn special for me to even think of sharing myself with him. I also know that I'm not ready for the commitment that sex entails. I dido 't come up with this conclusion in a finger snap.

It has taken a lot of uncomfortably baring situations in my life for me to reach the decision to at least wait for marriage to have sex. It doesn't matter what your family and friends have to say about the person you care about because that shouldn't stop you from expressing your Jove. But l feel that if they cared enough to look out for me like that, then l should take their opinion into consideration. I'm the one who has the last say, anyway.

Being a virgin is a portion of who I am at this point in my life.

• I don't know if I would act or think any more differently if I weren't a virgin. I just know that it's just the better course for me, right now.