Bizarre Blurbals

Man runs from police then calls police forhelp

After a wild police chase into the woods, Jerry Wayne Till calls police to help him get out of the woods. Police were trying to pull over Till for speeding when it turned into a high-speed pursuit. Till drove his car to the edge of the woods and abandoned the car as he ran into the middle of the woods. Cops were unable to find Till until he called the sheriff's station asking for help out of the woods. When asked why Till did not pull over he said it was because he wasn't thinking straight.

Can I get some fries with that assault and battery

Aman is being charged with assault and battery after throwing a breakfast sandwich at a McDonald's employee. The man threw the breakfast sandwich at the McDonald's manager after he realized his sandwich had sausage on it instead of ham. The man is being fined $600 and is on probation. He is also banned from the McDonald's restaurant.

Martha Stewart's enterprise has not been fully hampered by her behindiron-bars status. Stewart, who will be released next month from prison, will work with television producer Mark Burnett in creating “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart,” in which contestants have the opportunity to win a salary paid job of $250,000 with her “Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Corporation.” The show, which will actually be a spin-off of the successful “The Apprentice,” which features Donald Trump, is reported to begin in March of this year, according to CNN.

Government seeks tobacco money

The U.S. government was denied the $280 billion it summoned against the tobacco industry. The government claimed that tobacco marketed its products despite knowledge if the dangers and threats it imposed on the health of American citizens in an appeals court that remained in trial for many months. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that “the $280 billion is the most ever sought in a civil racketeering trial.” Tobacco has been banned in public places and scrutinized furiously in recent times by ex-smokers and antismokers all over the United States. The government can go as far as to appeal the $280 billion denial in the Supreme Court, but the tobacco industry has made it clear that it will firmly stand its ground in supporting its product, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer

SEPTAand Rendell talk

Alawsuit has been filed against SEPTAby representatives of Philadelphia to prevent dare hikes and service cuts. The hearing is scheduled to take place on Feb. 23, and is sure to take into regard the $62 million that it would take to prevent such pending fare and service changes. The state's governor, Ed Rendell, is trying to work with Philadelphia's transportation system by postponing other highway projects, but SEPTA is claiming that is not enough. Transit fares will most likely see $3 cash fares and $2 token fares, which would reportedly be the nation's highest. Also, transit routes could be suspended and slashed considerably during the week and entirely on the weekend. However, worst-case scenario for SEPTA workers and commuters would be a complete termination of all operations if a resolution is not found, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer

Bush gives state of the union

Who knew men had genitals?

Nude statue creates controversy in British Columbia. Michael Hermesh's statue of a naked man with suitcases to represent emotional baggage has been the scene of controversy lately. Hermesh was first asked to cover the statue's genitalia, however when that caused to many near accidents, he was then asked to remove the cover. Since then the statue has been vandalized several times. The council members said they were unaware of the nudity when the statue was originally proposed. The statue will remain in place until September.

Limited time offer: prom date on Ebay

Nathan Carlson puts himself up for auction on Ebay. Carlson who put himself up on Ebay as a potential prom date was taken off this past week. Carlson made a comment to a friend about donating a portion of the profits if the bidding went past $1,500. Ebay heard this news, which is against their policies, and took the auction of the website.

President George W. Bush gave his state of the union speech on Wednesday, Feb. 2. Introduced were a “Clear Skies” legislation advocating a safer environment, encouragement to make health care more affordable to all Americans, an updated immigration system with fairer standards for all involved, a constitutional amendment that would, “protect the institution of marriage” against same-sex marriage, as week as an amendment that will prevent the scientific development of human embryos for research and surgical purposes. More notably, though, was momentum geared toward acceptance of a new form of social security from one that is reflective of the 20th centuries', “New Deal,” to a more “individual” plan of retirement funding named “Ownership Society.” Also mentioned by Bush was talk of eradicating terror in and around the Middle East, most specifically in Iran, with the hope of peace, according to MSNBC.