Greatest cartoon character

improve the season's experiences. Personally, I b.elieve that nothing can be bought to improve the holiday season; it comes from those we love and who we spend time with during it.

JASON RADKA STAFF WRITER JNR722@CABRINl .EDU

ASHLEY RANDAZZO STAFF WRITER

AAR 722@CABRINI .EDU

• "Beep Beep!" I hear as I drive down the mall ramp to embark on quite an adventure. "Surely they aren't honking at me," I think, as I drive further and further into the crowded blacktop full of cars. Not an empty space in sight. Luckily, I know where the valet parking is, and, for a measly $5, I can park and shop all day. Inside the mall, crowded stores surround me that would make if'...,,'\ any claustrophobic ,I ( ·\;-...

I'm not saying presents aren't fun to open, because believe me, I love presents. Today, the market for the holidays has become a commercialized conglomerate, where so many profits are taken in, and each company wants to top their highest amount every year. When I woke up on this past black Friday and read the news about the stampede of people fighting in Walmart, it was discouraging. Why do people have to act that way to he does have downfalls. Inspector didn't have a sidekick, although the audience always knew that Penny and Brain were on the case to help bring down Dr. Claw. Unforunately, I think Inspector Gadget isn't the greatest for a few reasons. First of all, he never completed the mission on his own thanks to Brain and Penny. If I could recollect an episode of when Inspector Gadget solved the mystery of his own power, I may rescind my negative thoughts about him. Oh yeah, this message will selfdestruct in five seconds. It never was five seconds; it was more like 15 and Chief Quimby always blew up. Now that was funny. He never caught M.A.D cat or Dr. Claw. Tisk, tisk, Gadget; you lose. ber two. Homer is an ultimate cartoon character. Although he has no side kick, Homer has managed to blow up Springfield, get abducted by aliens and assume aliases, such as Pie Man and Mr. Plow. Homer possesses the quality of a normal citizen with a normal family and even has a dog. Homer has his stupid dimwitted personality as well. Homer never really falls short of greatness and is definitely number two to Doug Funnie in my eyes. the year? each oth~r, especially during this time of person have a / L \ \ ~anic attack ft,~~t • nght on the t.L". •, spot. Around me I hear side conversations that I don't really pay attention to. All of a sudden I hear, "Hey, get out of

So who is the greatest cartoon character ever? It is impossible to conjure one up in your head and that be it, oh no. It is a highly technical process that one must consider many different ~its and characteristics that put the character on a level like no other.

_ It's frightening to think how much pressure people put on themselves just because of a few presents and good deals they the way if you 're not going to walk faster!" This male voice was directed to me. A man with about four large bags was walking ever so briskly, and when he finally caught up to me, he felt the need to express. his frustration upon me. I tried my best to smile and laugh at the gentleman, but I was not impressed with his anger or his holiday cheer.

Holiday S~op •

What have the holidays become? Traditionally, it is supposed to· be a time to spend with family and friends, maybe go to church and just enjoy the season. Instead, people are constantly in the grasp of other things, like the amount spent on presents, or what is the new and hot toy for that year. Most of all, large consumer corporations want the consumer to know that they have the best deals and largest selection and that is why people should shop there.

Every television commercial that has something to do with the holidays is about an item that can be bought to

KRT get from the stores they choose to buy from. During the holiday season, the best and worst is brought out in people. Ugliness is present when strangers are nasty to each other because of all the frustrations they have about the holiday season. However, the best part of the holidays is feeling the love and warmth of those that are closest to you.

There are so many reasons why we put great value on materialistic items. Maybe we want to impress a future mother-in-law or we want to help someone in need. Whatever the reason is, the season is what we personally make of it. There are choices to be made; either we decide to put a price tag on the holidays, or we choose to "make the season bright" in our own little way, by maybe not even using our wallet.

·we come to find out that our love doesn't come in the packages we give to one another; it was always in our hearts.

A great cartoon character must be normal, but may possess super powers irr an alias form. Another trait a cartoon must have is a catchy theme song that you won't forget overnight, as well as catch yourself humming in class. A trusty sidekick, pet and an arch-nemesis must also be considered. Don't forget that this character must always seem like the unfortunate one but always wins in the end. Maybe the most important trait is that this character must be the main character. I contest you readers to challenge my analysis of why Doug Funnie is the most dominant animated human ever. Querying my friends and other students on campus, I gather that close runner-ups are Inspector Gadget, Homer Simpson and Stewey Griffin. Don't get me-wrong, I respect and find all three of those characters funny, but none. of them compare to Doug Funnie's omniscience.

)Vowsers! Okay, Inspector Gadget is pretty sick. With his ro botic-1 im b-extending-type body, Inspector Gadget does posses several qualities that a great cartoon should. However,

"For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!" Stewey Griffin is another quality character. With his trusty sidekick bear Rupert and his meddling attacks against Lois, Stewey does deserve to be a runner-up to Doug Funnie. I do nearly contradict myself in saying that the main character must get the nomination, but on a show with so many great characters that shine in the-limelight in random episodes, Stewey does deserve consideration. Seeing as though Stewey insults Bill Cosby, traps toddlers in a hidden pit under the sandbox and gets beat on "Star Search" by Sinbad, he's definitely cool. However, his mischief and wrong-doings are always counteracted by Lois. Stewey never wins. He has no aliases and has a one sided personality: death to Lois! Stewey, you're the man, but you're no Doug Funnie.

I fear putting Homer Simpson underneath Doug Funnie because almost nearly every website I tried to compare to Doug Funnie on, even CNN .com, had him ranked num-

Ah, Doug Funnie. You are the model super cartoon character. What other characters do you know that have not one, but two aliases? Maybe Homer Simpson, but he only appears as those two I mentioned in their own respected episodes. How cool is Smash Adams? A mock James Bond character, Smash is smooth and always gets the girl, who happens to be Patty Mayonnaise. In his sleek black suit and bowtie, how much cooler can you get? Oh yeah, what about Quailman? Quailman made wearing underwear on the outside of your pants look good, not to mention the belt on his head. It was great that his best friend Skeeter, or should I say "Silver Skeeter," was a great sidekick. Doug's dog Porkchop, or "Quaildog," also played a prominent role. Doug had an arch-nemesis in Roger Klotz. Besides all of the fantasy life of Doug Funnie, he is just a normal citizen of Bluffington on 21 Jumbo Street. Attending Bluffington High, you could always catch him getting a quick bite to eat at the Honkerberger.

Arguably, these characters are just a chosen few characters able of be compared to each other. However, I think that Doug Funnie qualifies as the best of the group, and maybe the best ever. I hope you all agree.