Life on the streets: LGBTQ youth kicked out with nowhere to go

A terrifying reality of discrimination, isolation, and violence

By SIMHA HADDAD

With homophobia, bullying, harassment, and extremist hate on the rise, both from the government and civilians alike, queer youth of today are facing a torrent of obstacles leading to a devastating increase in mental health crises.

Even more devastating is the number of queer youth who are facing these challenges while homeless. Kicked out of their homes and living on park benches and truck stops, these kids face a terrifying reality of discrimination, isolation, and violence.

The Rainbow Youth Project a nonprofit based out of Indiana serves as a godsend for many of these LGBTQ+ youth. The organization provides mental health, financial, housing, services and counseling assistance to homeless LGBTQ+ youth under the age of eighteen across the nation.

Seventeen-year-old Rainbow Youth Project clients, KV from Monrovia, California, and Mayra from just outside Houston, Texas, shared their stories of living on the streets after their families kicked them out for being queer.

Mayra

“I really thought my mom would accept me,” Mayra told the Blade.

Mayra’s mother, a devout Catholic, had always preached love and forgiveness to her two daughters, even electing to love and forgive her brother, who was convicted of murder.

“I thought if she could love her brother after murdering somebody, then she could love me too,” said Mayra. “But she told me I had a week to get out. In her mind, there was nothing he could do to change the fact that he murdered someone, but I could change the fact that I am a lesbian, and I was choosing not to do that. I don’t know why she made this about herself.”

Mayra was outed to her mother by a group of classmates, who conspired against her in a cruel ploy to get her to admit that she was a lesbian. They elected one female classmate to pretend to befriend Mayra. The girl falsely claimed to Mayra that she was a lesbian and encouraged Mayra to open up about her own sexuality. After a few weeks of this false courting, Mayra felt comfortable enough to admit to the girl that she was indeed a lesbian too. The group of students behind the ploy then took to social media to out Mayra in a post that would change her life forever.

Mayra’s mother, boyfriend, grandmother, and extended family in the Harris County area all told her that they would continue to deny her any living accommodation or support unless she committed to regularly seeing a priest.

“It was basically conversion therapy,” Mayra said. “The priest actually came to the house and told me that I was living in sin and that my family could not love me because they could not love sin. He said I needed to come to him whenever I was having these thoughts to keep me from going to hell. He told me I was an embarrassment to my family.

“That night, I was up all night. I couldn’t sleep. I thought, You know what? She told me to get out, so I will get out.”

KV, who was living with his parents in Monrovia, Calif., at the time, was similarly outed against his will by a cousin who caught him “hanging out” with a crowd of gay youths at a pizzeria in West Hollywood.

“My cousin drove by and saw me sitting there at a table outside on the sidewalk. He got out of his car. He approached me at the table and asked me what I was doing there with all the ‘faggots.’ I had a rainbow bracelet on, and he asked me if I was a ‘faggot. It was embarrassing, so I walked away. He followed me, screaming and yelling at me that I was a ‘faggot,’ and that he was going to tell my dad and I was going to get my ass beat when I got home. Then he put me in the car and drove me home to my dad.

“He told my dad where he found me, and my dad asked me if this was true, and if this is where I was going in the afternoons and if this is where I’ve been hanging out on the weekends, with all the ‘fairies.’ I said yes, and he said, ‘So you’re a ‘faggot now?’ I said, ‘No, not now. I always have been.

“I looked at my mom, and my mom just kind of looked away. I don’t really blame her anymore. My dad was really abusive with my mom, so it would’ve been bad for her if she had defended me. So instead of standing up for me, she just looked away and walked out of the room.

“My dad picked me up by the neck of my shirt and dragged me to my room and handed me a little duffel bag, and told me I could only take what I could fit in the duffel bag. I told him I had nowhere to go. He told me he didn’t give a fuck where I went because I was not staying there. He was not going to have ‘fag’ living in his house.”

Life on the streets

After Mayra’s last sleepless night at her mom’s house, she left with nothing but a bag of personal items and $116 in her pocket from her part-time job.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Mayra told the Blade. “I couldn’t call any of my friends because everybody was making fun of me and threatening to beat me up. I just kind of hung out in the park for a couple of days. After a few days, I realized that was still my best option. I just fell into staying on the streets.”

Mayra took to sleeping in the bathrooms of truck travel stops, sporadically getting handouts of leftover food from restaurants such as Subway and Cinnabon.

“I stumbled into some other kids who were homeless,” said Mayra, “and they were telling me they had other options, not really shelters, but it was better than sleeping in the bathroom. Then they stole everything that I had, so I only had the clothes that I had on. I needed fresh clothes. I had to barter whatever I had to do to get what I had to have.”

After the altercation with his abusive father, KV left with his duffle back and caught a bus to West Hollywood.

“That was the only place I knew where to go,” KV told The

Blade. “At least I felt safe there. From November 2021 until June 2022, I basically lived on Santa Monica Blvd.”

“The first thing I had to learn was safety,” said KV. “There are some pretty bad people out there. I got beat up a couple of times because I was in somebody’s space. It’s almost like a game. You have to learn the rules of the game like this is Joe’s space over here. Even if his stuff isn’t here, you can’t be in that area, or he is going to get mad. People don’t understand even if you are were living in a park, your space is like your house, and you can’t go into somebody else’s house. Learning that was kind of hard. I had heard about tent cities and all of that, but I was never really a part of it before.”

Going from housed to homeless in less than 24 hours, KV and Mayra quickly learned to navigate the new, dangerous environments. Like so many homeless youth, both Mayra and KV turned to prostitution as a means of survival.

“It was a tough thing, and I’m not proud of what I had to do to get the things I needed,” KV told The Blade. “But I think the thing that shocked me about it more than even me having to do this was how many kids were doing it and how many people were looking for it. I mean, people every day, every 15 minutes to 30 minutes, would come up to me looking for kids for sex. I’d be walking down Santa Monica or just sitting at a bus stop, and somebody would pull over and say, ‘What do you do for 50? What do you do for 20? That happens all the time.”

“One man asked if I lived in the park,” said Mayra. “I said, ‘kind of.’ He asked me what I would be willing to do to not live in the park anymore. I realized I was going to have to learn how to survive.”

At the truck stops along the freeways near Houston, Mayra often traded sex with the drivers for food, money, and shower tokens.

A Beacon of Hope

“Rainbow Youth Project saved my life,” KV told the Blade, who found out about RYP through a friend. “My goal was to get off the streets. I had had enough. Even after a week, I knew I had to do something. I called Rainbow Youth Project. I wasn’t expecting too much. I spoke to Brandon. Brandon asked me where I was, and I said LA. He said, ‘What if I told you we have a counselor we work with at UCLA that might be able to help you.’ I said, ‘Yeah, I ain’t got no way out to UCLA. No insurance, none of that stuff. He said, ‘Don’t worry. I’ve got you.’ The next day, he sent an Uber for me that took me up to see the counselor at UCLA. They already had an overnight package that had blankets and socks and underwear stuff that I didn’t have and a phone. And I’ve been in touch with them ever since. That was in June.”

Mayra’s counselor ew to her and gave her a phone, gift cards for food, clothing, and numbers for various volunteers at RYP whom she could call for whatever she needed.

“I told her I didn’t have money to pay for this,” recounted Mayra, “and she said, ‘You never have to pay me for anything. This is not a barter.’ When she said the word ‘barter,’ that’s when I knew she really understood.”

KV, who just finished his GED, plans to continue treatment for his trauma-related ashbacks, which are triggered by smells like certain colognes and often interfere with his productivity. Mayra, who says she feels her happiest when volunteering with animals, is currently training to be a veterinary assistant. Her studies are currently being funded by RYP.

Both Mayra and KV are now in stable housing thanks to Rainbow Youth Project and the nonprofit’s volunteers.

Eventually, KV ac uired a guardian ad litem, although his parents did sign a legal guardianship over to his cousin in Riverside. Mayra was emancipated by the Harris County District Court.

Harsh reality of LGBTQ youth homelessness

LGBT youth are overrepresented among young people experiencing homelessness and housing instability in the United States. This elevated risk of homelessness and housing instability has detrimental effects on LGBT youths’ mental health.

A research report released in February 2022 by the Trevor Project revealed that 2 of LGBT youth reported experiencing homelessness or housing instability at some point in their lives and those who did had two to four times the odds of reporting depression, anxiety, self-harm, considering suicide, and attempting suicide compared to those with stable housing.

Key findings included

• Overall, 28% of LGBTQ youth reported experiencing homelessness or housing instability at some point in their lives.

• Nearly half (44%) of Native/Indigenous LGBTQ youth have experienced homelessness or housing instability at some point in their life, compared to 16% of sian meri an Pa ifi slander youth, o hite B youth, o atinx B youth, o Black LGBTQ youth, and 36% of multiracial LGBTQ youth.

• Homelessness and housing instability were reported at higher rates among transgender and nonbinary youth, including 38% of transgender girls/women, 39% of transgender boys/men, and 35% of nonbinary youth, compared to 23% of cisgender LGBQ youth.

• 16% of LGBTQ youth reported that they had slept away from parents or caregivers because they ran away from home, with more than half (55%) reporting that they ran away from home because of mistreatment or fear of mistreatment due to their LGBTQ identity.

• 14% of LGBTQ youth reported that they had slept away from parents or caregivers because they were kicked out or abandoned, with 40% reporting that they were kicked out or abandoned due to their LGBTQ identity.

• LGBTQ youth who experienced homelessness or housing instability reported higher rates of mental health challenges, compared to their stably housed LGBTQ peers.

• LGBTQ youth who reported housing instability or homelessness had nearly two to four times the odds of reporting depression, anxiety, self-harm, considering suicide, and attempting suicide compared to those who did not report any housing instability.

• 69% of youth who reported past housing instability and 68% of youth who were currently homeless reported that they had engaged in self-harm in the last year – compared to 49% of youth who had not experienced housing instability,

• 58% of youth who reported past housing instability and 62% of youth who were currently homeless reported having seriously considered suicide in the last year – compared to 35% of youth who had not experienced housing instability,

• 28% of youth who reported past housing instability and 35% of youth who were currently homeless reported a suicide attempt in the last year – compared to 10% of youth who had not experienced housing instability,

• LGBTQ youth who reported experiencing homelessness or housing instability had higher rates of victimization, being in foster care, and food insecurity, compared to their stably housed LGBTQ peers

• LGBTQ youth who reported past housing instability or current homelessness had more than three times greater odds of ever being physically threatened or abused due to their sexual orientation or, among transgender and nonbinary identity, gender identity.

• LGBTQ youth who reported past housing instability or current homelessness had nearly six times greater odds of reporting that they had been in foster care at any point in their life.

• LGBTQ youth who reported past housing instability or current homelessness had more than three times greater odds of reporting food insecurity in the last month.

The Trevor Project report made several pragmatic recommendations that were echoed by RYP and others in the field who work with LGBT youth. In Los Angeles, Lisa Phillips, Director of Youth Services at the Los Angeles LGBT Center, said, “The Los Angeles LGBT Center has always had a high demand for youth-oriented services, including emergency, transitional, and permanent housing and we have not seen that demand falter. Unfortunately, as political attacks on our community escalate throughout all corners of the United States, we also don’t expect to see that demand go down anytime soon.

“We understand that, like any other issue affecting the LGBT community, a holistic approach that caters to the dignity of the individual is urgent and necessary. That’s why the Center doesn’t just offer a place to sleep but also provides health and mental health care, substance use and recovery efforts, legal services, housing and job navigation, and, most importantly, community. We do not take our responsibility to LGBT youth lightly, and we are always proud to be leaders in the fight for a more e uitable world for ueer and trans people.”

The Trevor Project report outlined steps that could be taken

• Preventing LGBTQ Youth Homelessness. Strong anti-discrimination policies in the workplace and strong anti-bully and harassment policies in schools an be e e ti e in hel ing B youth stay connected to school and employment, increasing their skills and future earnings, and making it easier for them to maintain stable housing. Additionally, sin e amily on i t around youths’ LGBTQ identities is a driving factor in LGBTQ youth homelessness, developing family counseling or mediation programs may be e e ti e at de reasing on i t and kee ing LGBTQ youth in their homes and connected to their families. Special attention should also be paid to preventing housing instability among LGBTQ youth in foster care through case management and exit planning for youth exiting care.

• Increased Funding for Low-Barrier Housing Programs. More funding should be allocated for safe, low-barrier housing programs which can have an immediate positive impact on LGBTQ youth experiencing housing instability.

• Reimagining Shelter Services. One immediate action that housing providers can take to support LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness is to make sure that all shelter and housing facilities provide culturally competent services to LGBTQ youth.

• Improved Data Collection on LGBTQ Youth Homelessness. Better data is needed to understand the full scope and impact of LGBTQ youth homelessness in the United States. Questions about both LGBTQ identity and housing status should be added to population surveys of youth and young adults, such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS).

• Anti-Poverty Economic Policies. LGBTQ youth are impacted by their families’ and communities’ economic stability. Policies that combat poverty at the societal level will have a positive impact on LGBTQ youths’ access to safe and secure housing. Economic upheavals, such as what we are seeing with the COVID-19 pandemic, increase economic pressure on low-income households and make it even more urgent for legislators to tackle root causes of poverty in the nited tates to the benefit o B youth, their families, and their communities.