Online hate continues despite efforts to combat it

Marsha Molinari

Marsha Molinari is a transgender activist, actress, prominent restauranteur, and the host of the award-winning podcast Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! She uses her platform to interview prominent public figures and to spread messages of love and inclusivity.

Molinari has also been the victim of cyber hate, doxing (sharing of her address without her consent), and physical stalking.

“I always try to take it with a grain of salt, but it still gets to you,” said Molinari. “Words are energy, and they hurt. When someone is constantly hit with negative comments, that hurts. It just has to.”

“Even this morning, I was looking at a couple of posts, and they were saying things like, ‘Is this a man?’ and ‘You are a man.’ Just being hateful.”

Molinari told The Blade that a lot of this hate also comes from within the LGBTQ+ community. “It’s a form of self-hate,” she said.

“When someone has so much hate towards what you are doing, that might actually be a mirror for themselves and a hatred for themselves.”

Molinari shared a story of one cyberhater who harassed her for years with anti-trans slurs and DMs telling her that her way of life was “wrong.” This person then messaged one day out of the blue, apologizing and saying that they realized that they, too, had been LGBTQ+ all along but had not had the courage to admit it to themselves.

“They said they saw me living authentically, and that scared them. Later, after they had bullied me for so long, the way I live became an inspiration.”

“We see this with anti-LGBTQIA+ government leaders who pose these laws against the community, but meanwhile, they are messaging gay men online and dressing in drag. It’s apparent why these people are coming after the community. Their hate comes from a deep hatred within themselves.”

Molinari shared another story of her friend who identifies as a gay man but drew the line at supporting Molinari’s journey when she came out as transgender.

“He told me the way I was living was unnatural and wrong,” said Molinari. “I told him that is exactly what they used to say about gay men like him. I told him he needed to get on the right side of history.”

Over time though, Molinari learned to let the majority of hateful comments go.

“I used to feel the need to defend myself or explain myself. That caused me to be drained and to be thinking about those comments throughout the day. I don’t do that anymore. People will have their own opinions, and people will be awful.”

“Sometimes though, if it is someone who is consistent in their bullying, then they need to be exposed.”

In these cases, Molinari screenshots and reposts the hateful messages on her story for hundreds of thousands of people to see.

“Whenever I’ve reposted these comments, people have messaged me saying that they, too, have been bullied by this person. Or some people saying they know this person and never thought that they were like this.”

Molinari agreed that while self-love and advocacy are important, social media platforms could be doing more to keep their users safe.

“I think when people are telling you to kill yourself, that needs to be regulated more by social media platforms. There needs to be a higher authority that stops this from happening.”

Gigi Gorgeous Getty

Gigi Gorgeous Getty is a Canadian transgender YouTuber, socialite, actress, and model. On her channel, Gigi shares everything from personal anecdotes about her transition, marriage, and social life to her favorite hair, makeup, and fashion tips. Through her personability, she continues to be a relatable role model for many young transgender people.

Unfortunately, opening portions of her life to the public has also opened Getty up to hate.

“I think it’s inevitable when you put yourself out there and you are living authentically. This is especially true when you are sharing things that are unconventional. You get a lot of hate and ignorance directed at you.”

Getty told the Blade she was swatted at the age of 20 while living at her father’s house in Canada.

(“Swatting” is the act of prank calling the police as if someone were in direct danger either to themselves or others, thereby causing the dispatch of armed officers to the scene. The prank is far from harmless as it wastes valuable police resources and time, leaving the police unable to care for others who are in true distress. Swatting is a crime punishable by heavy fines and/or even jail time.)

“Someone had called the cops and said I had a gun,” said Getty. “The police arrived, and I was handcuffed to the bed while they searched my room. It was horrible.”

After an investigation, they found the perpetrator – a fan of Getty’s who lived in a rural part of America and had no affiliation with Getty whatsoever.

“It’s really important to prioritize what you post,” warned Getty. “If you post where you are while you’re there, people will know where you are. If you can, try to post after the fact.”

“Just always be aware, maybe even hyperaware, that you are being watched. We all post for our friends and families, but at the end of the day, there could always be someone hateful watching.”

When asked how she deals with all the haters, Getty said that she has learned to ignore the bad and focus on the good.

“I used to be a big fan of blocking anyone who posted something negative about me. But now, after being openly trans for almost ten years, I just find that it’s mind over matter. You have to look at the positive. There could be one hundred positive comments and one negative one. It’s better to focus on all the good.”

“People can be so hateful. My husband sometimes takes healthy breaks from social media. I think that’s beautiful because he has the confidence to live his life happily and privately without needing the validation that social media gives to so many of us.”

Getty also shared a final message to anyone thinking of creating a hateful message or post.

“Just remember there are real people on the other side of that hate. Before you hit send, ask yourself if you could turn that hateful message into the opposite message of love. That is the message worth sending.”