Warmth, Respect, Curiosity, Humanity: Keys to understanding LGBTQ communities

Over the years, I have seen Pride month evolve from tolerance, to acceptance, to a celebration of the accomplishments of the LGBTQ+ people and our place in history. What an empowering and joyous a rmation of our community This year is no different, and yet I cannot help but have mixed feelings in light of what I view as a palpable regression into the hate, bigotry, and ignorance of the past. This regression in our national discourse has been a driving force in a recent crop of discriminatory laws that are being passed across the country.

Discrimination is harmful to the health and mental health of our nation and people of all communities, whether they are members of the LGBTQ+ community and our allies, or not. As we continue to march down the long and winding road to true equality and understanding, let’s remember that despite our differences, we are all human beings deserving of respect, love, and belonging. Connection and understanding between groups does not come easily these days. As we strive to connect with and educate those who do not necessarily share our views, we are mindful that concepts we take for granted, such as sharing one’s preferred pronouns, may be confusing and even scary for some. Just making the effort to learn someone’s pronouns or list your own, even if you may think they are obvious, can make a transgender, non-binary, or intersex person feel validated and be a big boost to their mental health. As a cisgender person, the least I can do is use my pronouns (he, him, his) in solidarity with friends and colleagues who may use their pronouns as a declaration and a rmation of their identity to the world.

All of us have a responsibility to educate ourselves the best we can about gender and sexuality and about how to address people around us in a respectful way. We must do all we can to learn and grow in this area. At the same time, we cannot allow ourselves to become paralyzed by a fear of making a mistake. I have seen some of my medical students only minimally engaging with transgender patients to avoid the risk of addressing someone with a wrong pronoun. This in itself is isolating and the very worst way to treat someone who may be struggling. Making mistakes is okay if you come from a place of warmth, respect, curiosity, and humanity.

This can be a di cult concept to master even for psychiatrists, who interact with patients from many different genders and sexual identities daily. We constantly learn, we make mistakes, we learn some more, and, I hope, we make fewer mistakes next time. We cannot expect everyone we meet to immediately jump into a full-fledged allyship with our community. Anyone who is willing to learn about the LGBTQ+ community in good faith is a potential ally, and we should welcome them with all the warmth and respect we expect from others. As we come to the end of Pride Month this year, let’s make a commitment to emphasize compassion and education as we strive to celebrate and grow our community and our allies throughout the year.

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Christina Gagnier

is the founder, Our Schools USA, and currently serves as the chair of the board of directors of the Chino Valley Chamber of Commerce.