Maddy and the City!

Written by Kelly Trout

My name is Madelynn but everyone calls me Maddy. I am a five-year-old Shar-pei with no bae. I am 100% natural minus the two eye lifts I had back in the day. Never had botox. Lived in three different cities. Failed out of dog training school because they wouldn’t let me take a pee break and I am single and ready to mingle!

It was March 15, 2020 when I arrived in Charleston. The car was packed up with everything my mom and I own and together, we set out to begin anew. I am a born and raised Texan who is navigating the dating world in the Lowcountry. So, I am on an endless search for true love and refuse to settle for anything less.

In a world of COVID, I was forced to get on all the dating apps: Tindog, Wowzer, Dig Dates and Bumble. I have gone on so many dates that it is hard to remember all their names. There was one guy who sniffed his own butt so much that he never actually spoke. Another who only focused on his ball the whole time and when I said he was a jerk he continued to drool with happiness, just staring at his ball. I couldn’t help but wonder, does a string of bad dates eventually lead to the ‘one’? I do not think I have a type, per se. I’m looking for someone that makes me happy. Someone that lets me watch Real House Dogs whenever I want. Someone that will let me be the big spoon (tiny men are hot). Someone that knows who they are and does not apologize for it. Finally, someone who will constantly pay attention to me but have the self-awareness to know when I need space.

My dating profile currently reads:

Maddy. 5 years old. Loves dipping my toes in the water, being in the sunshine and partying. I’m the kind of the girl you take home to your family. I will get closer to them than you and we will slowly phase you out. Jk ;)

“Loyal AF. Selective. Quality over quantity type of girl.” – Best friend

“Not as crazy as she looks...” – Ex-boyfriend

“Confident, supportive, and caring. The best hype woman you can ask for!” – Mom

“Sweet and loving, but very smart and objective.” – Sitter

“Gin and treats are the way to her heart.” – Unknown

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Me with my former bae, Walter Geoffrey

I ultimately came to Charleston looking for a fresh start after heartbreak. I lived with my ex-boyfriend, Walter Geoffrey the Frenchie, for four years. He would say we only dated for about a week, but it was a deep love for me. I know he felt it too. I have no idea what he was like BM (Before Maddy), but I know his life got a bit more stable AM (After Maddy). He is emotional, dramatic, sensitive, funny, a momma’s boy, and short. Apparently, I have a thing for small men. He was a hustler which was part of the reason I was drawn to him. However, as he got more famous, we grew apart romantically, but have agreed to stay in each other’s lives. Honestly, he had too many hunnies in his DMs and I didn’t have the time or patience to keep up. Even though time has moved us on, he will always have a piece of my heart.

I have a thing for small men as I prefer to be the big spoon, Walter did too. :(

We still remain friends and Facetime often.

Since I have been in Charleston, my world has opened up with the amount of new experiences I have had. I went to the beach for the very first time on Sullivan’s Island. The view was breathtaking, the water was warm and when I felt the beach between my toes, I knew I was home. Pure joy rushed through me as I ran in circles splashing the water. I looked out to the ocean and understood I was right where I should be. The ocean encourages you to dream and I insist on dreaming. That night I dreamt of margaritas and personal trainers.

I often hit the local dog parks looking for men. I always come home empty pawed!

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The parks in Charleston are 1. So fun! 2. Filled with men. James Island County Park has the perfect vibe. It is big enough I can have three dates in 15 minutes and not have to run into them again if I don’t want to. Last time I was there, I ran into a guy I met at Alhambra Hall once. We watched the shrimp boats come in together but he ghosted me after that so it was a bit awkward. He came up to me all sweet and nice like nothing had happened. Boy bye! I ran to the other side of the park never to see him again. Next!

There are so many historical landmarks in Charleston and I am excited to check them all out. I went to Angel Oak Tree recently. It was majestic. I sniffed so hard that day I thought my nose was going to bleed. I got tired and was ready to go home. I had zero energy to try and meet anyone. Next!

Next!

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I have gone a couple places for brunch with the girls. Revelery. Tattooed Moose. Tobin’s Market. I don’t go to too many crowded places because people can be annoying. I don’t feel comfortable when strangers want to touch me. I know my skin looks soft and I have a cute nose but I need my space. Leave me alone. They also always ask if I’m a boy. All you have to do is look….just look. Next!

When I’m feeling bored, I will bark in my mom’s face until she get out of her three day old sweat pants and takes me walking around downtown. I love checking out King Street in my signature color: pink. So many places have water bowls outside. Even though it is not Figi water, I still appreciate it. I’ve seen a lot of cuties but we never have enough time to exchange numbers before one of us is window shopping.

Dating can be exhausting but can also be so fun. Boyfriend or no boyfriend. Love or no love. You need help navigating the single world. My mom is my help…and my meal ticket (shh). Every time I drive over the Ravenel Bridge I sing in my head “i’m jumpin in my ride, headin out tonight. I’m solo, I’m ridin solo” by Jason Derulo. I am so happy to be in Charleston. If you’re single, call me. ■

Just a Sharpei looking for a bae! Hit me up on Instagram @maddy_sharpei

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