Evidence of Great Love

GROWING UP, DISCIPLINE, AND TAKING OWNERSHIP

By Chelsey Goode, 7th Grade English

AA few weeks ago I was at a Little League Softball game for my daughter. We arrived early, and my two kiddos were spending some time in the play area. I noticed some flying objects soaring past the faces of not only my children but of the others playing alongside them. When I started looking around, I spotted a few older boys using the space to throw plastic utensils, baseballs, and roughhousing with one another. After a while of watching this, one of them accidentally kicked a small toddler. My inner teacher was roaring inside. However, I knew I needed to be gracious. I didn’t know these boys; they didn’t know me. I walked up to the group and kindly asked them to take their fun elsewhere and to allow this space to be left to the smaller kids. One of the boys, probably age 10 or 11, wasted no time getting right in my face. Through clenched teeth, he responded, “This is a public park. I can do whatever I want.” He and his friends then proceeded to do just that. They got more aggressive, and they stared at me frequently to ensure I was watching while they did it.

At first, this situation angered me. However, after having some time to reflect, my heart hurt for those boys. I wondered if they’d ever had someone love them through what ownership looks like. Has anyone ever cared enough for them to correct them?

I think as a parent I have certainly struggled with the fuzzy boundary that dances between love and consequences. Does she know I love her even when I punish her? Does he only see the bad-cop when he sees me coming? I don’t know about you, but for me, these thoughts can plague my heart and damage my understanding of this beautiful role in which God has gifted me.

Recently, I had been studying the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Though I had read and been under the teaching of this parable several times, I had never read it from the perspective of a parent. In verse 13 the father wastes no time in giving the inheritance that his son has asked for. Being the wise parent that he is, he is well aware of the harsh realities that are likely awaiting his son, but he allows him to go. It was a new revelation to me to realize that at no point does the father stand in the way of his son’s departure. The father allows him to leave. The father knows that trials are sure to come to his son. He knows that his son will experience the natural consequences for his actions, and the father does not stand in the way.

We can be so quick to stand in the way of our kiddos. We can be quick to limit their consequences. We can be quick to soften the blow, but at what cost? What is the cost of never allowing our kids to fail?

Those kiddos in the play area that day weren’t bad kids. They were kids who desperately needed to understand consequence. They were children who were starved for correction. After teaching in other schools, I can assure you that so many of the children in our society are in the same boat. As Bible-believing parents, we owe it to our children to teach them to sail upon a very different vessel.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go…” He has given us His children on loan. How are we stewarding them for His Kingdom? How are we equipping them for the life He has intended? How are we showing them that consequences are biblical and necessary? Discipline isn’t the contradiction of love, but the evidence of great love.

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another…” Colossians 3:16