[sample translations]kang tae shik, good bye, zoo eng by LTI Korea Library

Sample Translations

Tae-shik Kang Good-bye, Zoo E ng l i s h

Book Information

Good-bye, Zoo (굿바이 동물원) Hanibook Publishing corp/ 2012 / 55 p. / ISBN 9788984315990 For further information, please visit: http://library.klti.or.kr/node/772

This sample translation was produced with support from LTI Korea. Please contact the LTI Korea Library for further information. library@klti.or.kr

Good-bye, Zoo Written by Kang Tae-shik

Chapter 1

On a day I feel like crying, I peel garlic. A red plastic bowl is full of garlic. Of course, I had filled it with water an hour earlier. You can tell the garlic skin is all bloated by just looking at it. I sit down on the floor, in front of the bowl of garlic. Those with much experience wear rubber gloves to protect their skin but I am a novice who just started two days ago. If I wear rubber gloves, my hand movement becomes clumsy and it slows me down. How fast I can work is directly related to how I much money I can make. That is why I peel the garlic with my bare hands. Before I get to work, I turn on the radio. It’s best to have the TV turned off for it gets in the way of my work. Peeling garlic is a battle with oneself. Speed is important, but how long I can patiently sit still affects the outcome of the job. That is why I choose the radio. With my hands I peel the garlic and with my ears I listen to the music. When I am listening to the stories of the radio audience, and the DJ’s comments, times goes by so quickly. Sometimes I even sing along when I hear a familiar song. There is something else just as important as the radio. It’s the newspaper. A proper vinyl cover used for making kimchi would be better but I haven’t got around to acquiring one. Instead, I place a newspaper on the floor to prevent the room from getting messy. There are times when I end up occasionally spilling the garlic peels on the floor when I am working. If I don’t do anything about it, the floor can instantly turn into a garbage dump. But it’s not possible to pick it up and throw it away each time. It’s difficult and cumbersome, not to

mention slows down the pace of my work. Peeling garlic is a performance-related job. No matter how long I do it, I don’t get paid unless I produce a result. I can take care of the garlic peels all at once when I am finished if I have a newspaper on the floor. There’s no need to worry about splattering water, either. Another useful tip is to have a small towel easily accessible. The water doesn’t only splash on the floor. It will leave the smell of garlic if it gets on my clothes. If I don’t do something right away, it’s very difficult to get rid of the smell; hence, it’s best to wipe it up as quickly as possible. Not only that, I can also dry my wet hands in the course of work. So a towel is a must for the protection of your skin. When all things have been set, I take a seat. Of course, there isn’t a prescribed posture. I just have to be seated in a comfortable manner. I can sit in a lotus position or I can wrap my two legs around the container. I just have to make sure I can sit in this position for a long time. If I sit on a cushion, I can significantly reduce the discomfort of my buttocks and back. It also helps greatly to lean against the wall. It’s now time to peel the garlic. No doubt everyone has had the experience of peeling garlic at least once in life. You just have to bring that experience to mind. With one hand, I hold the garlic and with the other hand, I peel the skin. The skin will peel off easily because it is bloated. “Is there any trick?” is a question anyone could ask. I myself was curious in the beginning and I asked Mrs. Piggy Mother the same question. She was a broker who sought out work from different businesses and allocated it to those who wanted a part-time job. “There is no such thing. You’ll get better at it as you do more work.” At first it sounded like an insincere reply. But if you work at it just one day, you will find out that that is a perfect answer. There is no shortcut to peeling garlic. In fact, too much thinking can be a hindrance. It’s really best to let your body show you. When you repeat the

same action, you naturally learn the tricks of the trade. It’s important to acquire your own personal know-how, like the technique of holding the garlic or the skill of using your fingers. There is a definite process involved, even in peeling garlic. The first stage is to peel off the bloated skin from the garlic. The second stage is to separate the garlic, which was peeled in stage one, from the garlic skin. First of all, discard the garlic peelings and waste material in the container that you prepared. Next, put the peeled garlic into another container. Before that, you can improve the cleanliness of the garlic if you soak the peeled garlic in water. You repeat this process for many hours. At first, one’s work rate can be quite inefficient because of the superfluous motion. It was like that for me. But once you pass a certain point, your body will automatically function like a machine. Peel, discard, rinse, and put it in the container. Afterward, I bring it to Mrs. Piggy Mother and weigh them. I get paid per kilogram. Of course, there are many downsides to this work as well. It isn’t only the garlic skin that gets bloated by water. After working for long hours, your fingertips become all wrinkly. It’s because of the osmotic pressure. If you don’t do anything about it, your skin can become rough or you may even get eczema. That’s why the experienced people wear rubber gloves. When your hands feel itchy or your skin begins to split, then stop and take a short break. And this is a side effect I experienced, but something like this can happen to anyone if you get stressed out from peeling garlic. “What’s the matter? Did you have a bad dream?” Last night, I dreamt a nightmare. I must’ve tossed and turned greatly to startle my wife who awoke from her sleep. “No, go back to sleep.” I assured her. But I couldn’t tell her about my nightmare because she could easily misconstrue the

meaning of it. In my dream, I was also peeling garlic. The garlic was the size of a person. I peeled its skin from the top. With each layer, a smooth and white skin was revealed. “Don’t undress me too quickly. I am shy,” the garlic said, as I was halfway through peeling it. I don’t recall what I said in response. Ignoring the garlic’s protest, I kept on peeling it. At last, the garlic was completely bare. “Now that you’ve exposed me, you must take responsibility for me,” said the peeled garlic, scaring me. I wasn’t sure if I could be responsible for the peeled garlic. Even in my dream, I remembered that I had a wife. I said firmly, “Peeled Garlic, I am married.” But the peeled garlic would not accept it. “You’re living with a woman whom you don’t love, anyway. Divorce her and live with me.” “I can’t! I love my wife.” “You’re lying! You’re lying! I know you want to be with me. You’re deceiving yourself by subjugating yourself to an institution called marriage.” The peeled garlic threw a fit. With great calm, I explained to the peeled garlic that it was under a misconception. “Here, come to me. Here on now, we’ll be one. I am going to make you happy.” The peeled garlic launched a suicide attack. While we were tussling, I ended up underneath the garlic. It was incredibly heavy. I struggled with all my strength. “No!” Then I woke up. It was a dream I had two days after I started my job. My whole body was drenched in cold sweat. I lay down again but I could not regain any sense of calmness. It’s a kind of occupational disease. Those who haven’t experienced it have no idea

how devastating it is to writhe under peeled garlic. Even now as I am peeling garlic, I still can feel the terror. My fingers are shaking… Most people regard peeling garlic as a simple physical labor. They might think, all I have to do is mindlessly peel garlic. But they’re completely mistaken. Your body does not move without a thought. And the simpler the work is, the more thoughts you have. There is definitely mental stress in the work of peeling garlic. A nightmare is just the tip of an iceberg. The more serious problem is the confusion in your self-identity. “Who am I?” is a question that you are asking incessantly. Like the smell of garlic on my hands, it just will not go away. When I am peeling garlic alone, my whole life flashes by me in rapid succession. There were no great currents but it was a life, and not without some waves. There were sunny days and also cloudy days. I had some success but more failures. That is why if I relish the bygone days, it tastes like bitter medicine in my mouth. When it strikes me how I had studied so hard just to be peeling garlic now, I become greatly skeptical about life. The bliss I felt on the day I was admitted to college now seems to have been all in vain, like a fuzzy bubble that effervesces into nothingness. I also recall a heart-stirring moment of when I was assigned my own desk after getting hired by a company, although it was only a medium-sized one. My wife shed tears of joy when I was promoted to a managerial position. At the time, I had believed I could achieve anything by way of my efforts. Opportunity belonged to those who put in effort. That’s what I had thought then. But I was mistaken. Perhaps I was born to peel garlic. I have lived up till now to peel garlic and my life ahead is also for the purpose of peeling garlic. I cannot think of my past life or my future life, separated from garlic. It’s been only three days but this is what I have come to think. I have become like a garlic-peeling machine. Hold the garlic–Peel–Put it in the container. While I

am repeating the same action over and over, my identity as a human being is transformed to a luxurious item. It vanishes after tossing and turning here and there. And a garlic-peeling machine, called Kim Young-su, is the only thing that remains. Still, there’s nothing better than garlic when I want to cry. A man will cry only three times in his life. Firstly, when he is born; secondly, when his parents die; and lastly, when he is peeling garlic. The garlic has a substance called allicin that gives off a certain smell and makes it pungent. Because of this substance, tears will naturally well up in your eyes. “Men don’t cry. It looks unmanly.” I am at a loss for words when my wife admonishes me. “It’s because the garlic is spicy.” Garlic is spicy but life is more spicy. I get all choked up when I look back on the past several months. More than once or twice, I wanted to hide in the bathroom and cry in private. It’s amazing how I managed to hold back the tears.

Several months ago, I was laid off. A restructuring took place in my company. But I didn’t bring myself to cry at that time. Even when my boss was comforting me, I merely felt numb, like I’d been hit on the head with a hammer. “It’s the company decision. Don’t think it’s unfair because you’re not the only one who’s being treated ‘unfairly.’” I ran straight to the bathroom. I really wanted to cry then, to my heart’s content at a place where there was no one else. The bathroom was at the end of the hallway. I opened the door and entered. Both stalls were being used. I had no choice but to go to the bathroom down below. But it turned out to be the same. Ah, what am I to do? I was greatly flustered. Tears were about to pour down from my eyes but there was no empty stall. I had no choice but to go down one more floor.

I was about to turn around when I heard a very quiet sound from somewhere. It sounded like an object was being pressed down. It was just like the sound of some pulp being crushed and the juice spilling over. The sound was minute, fragile and secretive, and desired to be hidden. Both stalls were like that. They were being used by people who wanted to cry at a place where there was nobody else around. That is why I could not cry. That day, I tidied up my desk and left work early. Carrying a shopping bag with my belongings, I came out of the building. Standing on the sidewalk, for a brief moment I looked up at my company building. For a split second, I felt the tears in my eyes. But I didn’t cry then. There were too many people on the street. You cannot cry in an environment like that. I checked the time on my mobile phone. It was ten to two. It was three in the afternoon when I got home by subway. “What’re you doing home this early?” My wife, who was folding the laundry, asked me with her eyes wide open. “What is that shopping bag doing in your hand? What happened?” I had no intention of hiding anything but what should I tell her…my lips remained locked. “Honey, did you by any chance get let go?” I nodded in silence. I wished ardently that this moment would pass quickly. With her eyes on me, my wife heaved a long sigh. Then there was silence. It felt as heavy and cold as a gigantic iceberg. I didn’t have the right to say anything but I did want to say, “I am sorry.” “Is that all you can say? How’s that going to help us? How are we going to live from now on?” My wife was angry. I wanted to cry then, also. The tears I was holding back were undulating like they were going to spill over. But I didn’t cry.

Immediately the next day, I plunged myself into the job market. I searched an employment site on the Internet. I joined the full employment center. But it was all in vain. My days of unemployment seemed endless like a dark and long tunnel. It felt like a sunny day would never arrive. “I’m working, starting tomorrow.” Meanwhile, my wife got a job as a cashier at the neighborhood supermarket. “What’s the use of not doing anything…you want to peel garlic?” I am now peeling garlic at my wife’s suggestion. Because of the substance called allicin in garlic, tears naturally come to my eyes. I wipe the tears with the back of my hand. The fluid from the garlic must’ve got into my eyes. My eyes are burning like they’ve been exposed to tear gas. Tears, the size of a green pea, slide down my cheeks. My heart feels somewhat refreshed after the tears. Everyone feels like crying at times, and on a day like that I peel garlic.

Chapter 2

I am always in a drugged-like state these days. My eyes lack focus. Occasionally, objects appear in double or triple layers. The symptoms are akin to when I am heavily drunk. In the morning when I get up, my head aches like it’s going to split. It must be from the odor of the glue. A few days ago, I switched to another job, that is, gluing the eyes to stuffed dolls. One day Mrs. Piggy Mother asked me in a worried tone, “Can you make it, peeling garlic?” “It’s difficult.” I almost choked on my own words. “Yeah, right? That’s a big problem. If a man can’t make a living, his wife might run away.”

“You’re kidding me…” I said but I couldn’t help feeling guilty. “It’s true. Look at me. I left home to live by myself cuz my husband couldn’t earn any money.” Mrs. Piggy Mother shared her litany of laments. “Speaking of which…you wouldn’t want another kind of work?” “What kind?” “It’s much cleaner than peeling garlic and better pay, too. Do you know Grandma Mi-ja, who collapsed with high blood pressure? You can be her substitute. How about it? Interested?” That is how I began the work of attaching an eye to a stuffed animal. “Just take a hundred for a starter.” The first batch I got was a toy bear. The bundle with one hundred stuffed bears was as bulky as a house. I came home, carrying it. The 200 eyes were in a separate plastic bag. The glue for the job was also contained in that bag. “What is that?” Startled, my wife asked, when I arrived home. “Can’t you tell? They are stuffed bears.” “But they don’t have eyes!” My wife bellowed when she saw the bears without eyes. She was a simple-minded but hot-blooded person who was clear about what she liked or disliked. “It’s my job to glue the eyes.” “Put it out of my sight!” In fact, the stuffed bears did look quite eerie without the eye. They looked like a prop that appear in a horror movie. But when they got their eyes glued, the genre of the movie changed. They transformed themselves to a cute and lovable bear that you see in a romantic movie. My wife’s attitude then changed completely, also. “Wow, how cute! Can I have one?”

“You can have one I mess up.” But I picked out the best one from the bunch for her. The task was simple. First, I put glue on the tip of a wooden chopstick. Then I spread it evenly on a flat area of the eye. Next, I attach it to an appropriate spot and press it down with my finger to stabilize it. Because it was a job that did not require wetting my hands, my body felt less fatigued and I didn’t have to worry about wrecking my skin. Spread the glue, attach the eye, and press. Sitting on the floor, I repeated the same task all day long. Before three days went by, my head started to ache. The smell of the glue was nauseous. I sought advice from Mrs. Piggy Mother. “Keep a window open while you work.” I open a window the first thing before I start work. But I live in a half-basement. Even when I open a window, there is poor ventilation. “Then you must wear a mask.” I did as I was told. But I had difficulty breathing because of the mask. I had no choice but to take off the mask and breathe with my mouth. The headache got taken care of with pills. “The fumes are giving me a bad headache.” My wife complained. “I am the one who has to put up with it all day long.” For no reason, I felt irritable. I would blurt out anything without thinking. The numbness in the head must affect my sense of discernment and self-control. “That’s not anything to be proud of.” My wife pouted. Even when I wasn’t working, I still felt dazed. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes lacked focus. The sensitivity of my skin had also become impaired. Should I go back to peeling garlic? I was seriously reconsidering. “The garlic job, working part-time, is completely full.”

The part-time jobs are high in demand. You can earn pocket money and still have spare time; therefore in a down economy like this, there was always a long waiting list. It had been over a week since I quit peeling garlic. I didn’t think there’d be work available. “Is there any other kind of work?” “Nope…Why, you don’t think you can do it?” Mrs. Piggy Mother has nothing to lose. There are plenty of people waiting to work. It’s my loss if I quit now. “Not at all. Let me have some more.” I had no choice but to continue gluing eyes. Several days passed like that. As always, I was putting glue on the flat bottom of the eye. All of a sudden, my vision became blurry. Wait, what’s happening…I was about to rub my eyes with the back of my hand when I all of a sudden felt unsteady. Thump, and the back of my head crashed against the floor. I fell down on my back. But I felt nothing. I didn’t feel any pain. It was the opposite. It felt like my body was floating in the air. It didn’t just feel like that. It was really like that. I was flying in the air. My cape was fluttering at my rear. And the altitude? It was very high. Far down below me I could see clouds. They seemed right under the stratosphere. There was a bright sun ahead of me. It was the kind of sunshine I had never experienced from the ground. It was much more intimate and mystical. Ah, what have I become? I turned my direction. In an instant, I had exited the atmosphere. The dark and vast universe embraced my body. It was a realm of quietude. It was a space where time had lost its meaning. Peace was absolute and solitude was infinite. Oblivious to everything, I was zooming toward the edge of the universe. I accelerated. Little stars, the size of fireflies, came near me then vanished in an instant. Ah, what have I become, indeed? “I am home.”

I heard my wife’s voice from the far end of the universe. Then I heard the front door open and the sound of the footsteps coming toward me. But I was still flying in the universe. “Honey, what’re you doing?” The stars vanished when my wife shouted. Absolute peace and infinite solitude, too, fled with their tails between their legs. Like a shattered mirror, the universe was crushed. Dark and vast fragments fell on the floor and broke. And reality disclosed its face. I saw my wife’s feet, with her socks on. I was jolted into consciousness. I was lying on my stomach on the floor, with both my arms and hands extended straight. And I was grinning like a happy clown. “You fell asleep?” My wife asked. She thought I had fallen asleep and had a dream. But it was not a dream. It was a hallucination brought about by the smell of the glue. The sensation of flying in the vast universe remained very vivid in my memory. It was beautiful and ecstatic. It was wonderful to completely forget the wretched conditions of my life. “Shall we? It’s been a while…” my wife asked in bed. But would I be able to? My head began to ache after I came out of the hallucination. My lower body was relaxed and I felt languid. Could I get an erection in such a state? The volume and size seemed to have shrunk because of psychological pressure. “Let’s just go to sleep.” “But I want to.” My wife tried to help me. But it was useless. The more she touched it, the more it shriveled up. Quickly, I apologized. “Sorry. Let’s just go to sleep tonight.” “Honey, do you masturbate when I am not home?” My wife was suspicious about odd things. “Nope.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Clutching the small and squishy object in her hand, she asked angrily. “You still consider yourself a man?” I couldn’t say anything. I waited in silence until my wife fell asleep. Shortly after I heard her snoring gently. At the thought of having overcome a crisis, I sighed in relief. When I closed my eyes, the universe appeared before me. With my fluttering cape, it was simply the best feeling to be flying between planets. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t get an erection. I couldn’t help laughing with delight. The next day, I started gluing the eyes, starting from early morning. I intentionally kept the window closed. I was going to ventilate the room before my wife got back from work. The potent fumes from the glue filled the room. Little by little I became dazed. The chopstick I was holding in my hand dropped on the floor. Once more, I plunged into another glue-induced hallucination. This time, I did not have my cape. And I didn’t see the clouds. I was sitting on the floor, gluing an eye on a stuffed doll. I picked up a wooden chopstick on the floor and wiped the glue off of it. Everything was the same. That’s why I wasn’t even aware I was once again hallucinating. “Ha, ha, ha, ha!” I heard laughter from somewhere. It sounded sinister and malicious. I looked around. But I did not see anyone. “How impudent, Power Man.” Right then, something began to wiggle. I was incredulous at the sight. About a hundred stuffed bears were moving their arms and legs. One of them pointed at me with its short and chubby arm and addressed me as “Power Man.” “I’ll show you this time what it’s like to be dead meat. Brace yourself, Power Man!”

What are these bears up to? In the brief moment I am mulling this over, I heard gunshots and a hundred bullets came racing toward me. The villain always pulls the trigger without warning. The muzzle fired and the fast-spinning bullet flew at me. But then I could see it all. The bullet was slow like an earthworm or a snail. With a flamboyant bodily motion, I managed to dodge all one hundred bullets. “Ahhhh!” Someone was screaming. It was a woman’s voice. A peeled garlic, which was tied with a rope, was held hostage by the stuffed bears. “If you want to save this woman, quietly exit this world, Power Man,” the stuffed bear leader said, laughing wickedly. “My love, please rescue me. I apologize for last night. I really didn’t know you were Power Man, protecting the Earth.” The peeled garlic had transformed into my wife. “How did you find out I was Power Man?” It was a secret that I was Power Man. “The Leader of the stuffed bears was kind enough to tell me.” With arrogance, the Leader of the stuffed bears nodded. “It must’ve been difficult to safeguard the Earth. I didn’t know about it. I am sorry for being so selfish. What a bad person I am. I really am sorry.” My wife was crying. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know about it.” It was too bad I couldn’t think of a nicer way to put it. “How very touching. Put a gag in her mouth!” A stuffed bear gagged my wife’s mouth. The Leader of the stuffed bears raised his chubby little arm. “Go to hell, Power Man! Big Bears, unite!”

A hundred stuffed bears began to come together. Some stuffed bears became the arm, others became the leg, and some became the torso. The Leader of the stuffed bears climbed to the top and became the head. And when the Big Bear became complete, a gigantic stuffed bear, big enough to block my view, stood before me. “The Bear Missile!” The Big Bear fired the missile. I was able to avoid the missile again once more. The missile struck somewhere behind me with an incredible force. It penetrated the wall of the apartment and destroyed the entire building. Wait a minute? I live in the half-basement of a house… “The Bear Flamethrower!” From the mouth of the Big Bear, a pillar of fire spewed out. Momentarily losing concentration, I got hit. I raised my shield to protect my face. I scrunched myself to the best of my ability to minimize the target area for the fire. In that position, I took each step to get close to the Big Bear. “Big Bear, start the nuclear power!” The Big Bear’s eyes became flushed red and then fired the nuclear ray. My arms, with a protective shield up, felt hot, like it was burning. I couldn’t open my eyes. My knees got bent. And I collapsed right there. It was Power Man’s greatest crisis. Right then, I saw a vision of a beautiful woman with a crown on her head, holding a baton. It was the Moonlight Princess. She said, “Power Man, you must not be defeated. You are our only hope. Please show courage. Your courage will save not only you but also all of us.” The Moonlight Princess vanished after saying these words. That’s right, have courage. I felt strength in my legs. Slowly, I raised my body. I put the protective shield down, and stood up straight. The Power Man’s greatest weapon was his courage not to give in to

injustice. The weapon that could convert that courage into energy was the power beam. Raising my right index finger, I aimed at the Big Bear. I then bellowed, “Have courage, protect us all! Power beam!” The power beam was fired from the tip of my finger. The moment the power beam penetrated the body of the Big Bear, the stitches burst and white cotton was expelled out. Shaking its body, the Big Bear collapsed on the floor. I heard a thump loud enough to explode the ground. Cloudy dust, like fog, obscured my surroundings. “Today we retreat but we will return for revenge! You can look forward to it, Power Man!” Ha, ha, ha, ha, leaving an echo of sinister laughter, the stuffed bear Leader fled through the window. It was the Power Man’s victory. He had once again crushed the stuffed bears’ plot to conquer the Earth. Dusk was falling. Casting a long shadow behind me, I walked endlessly toward a place I didn’t know where.

The next day, I received the Barbie dolls from Mrs. Piggy Mother. “ Is this your first time with the eyelashes?” The Barbie doll’s eye was painted on. My job was to glue the pretty and delicate eyelashes above it. I said I’d do it even though it was my first time. I accepted the Barbie dolls after being told that it was detailed but similar work. But I was curious about one thing. “Do I use the glue?” She said, yes. In that case, I had no problem with it. Carrying one hundred Barbie dolls, I returned home. I locked the entrance door and shut the windows. Unless I was drunk, I was always reminded of my present circumstances. I couldn’t get to sleep whenever I reflected on possible long-term unemployment. As though I was running out of oxygen, my chest felt heavy and I felt like choking. It was the glue that thankfully rescued me from my

reality. The whisper of the glue was seductive and sweet. “Let us travel to the land of dream and fantasy, just you and me.” Of course, I knew I was having a hallucination. My body began to show signs, too. I was always fatigued without doing much. Occasionally I was even retching. But it was better than suffocating to death while being imprisoned by reality. The glue was my oxygen mask. I couldn’t imagine my life without the glue. The Barbie doll was an ordinary type. It had a dark complexion with long blond hair. Its shoulders were narrow and its breasts, voluptuous. In comparison to its modest body shape, its arms and legs were abnormally long and slender. In short, a typically well-proportioned western beauty. In the past, I was instantly critical of the Barbie doll. I used to think women were dissatisfied with their bodies because they had played with a Barbie doll since childhood. A Barbie doll made women unhappy. Men who lived with unhappy women also became unhappy. At one time, I used to think the Barbie doll was to blame for depriving Asians of their happiness and hence making this country unhappy. But now at this moment, being with a Barbie doll, I regretted my past narrow-minded and twisted view. With big eyes, shapely nose, round lips—the Barbie doll was as beautiful as a goddess. Besides, it was bare, without any clothes. I had to touch its nude body, in spite of myself, in order to glue the eyelashes. My fingertips trembled and my pulse beat faster and my breathing got rough. I felt a pang of dizziness from extreme excitement. All the blood rushed to my male member and it instantaneously got thick and hard. “Hey Mister, how old are you?” The Barbie doll asked, twinkling its eyes in a lovable manner. It had a sensual and tempting voice. I said, I was thirty-six years old. “Ah, a very horny age to be.” Right away, I got on the Barbie doll. It was the first time I got off with a white

woman. I could feel the smooth and taut skin with my whole body. Just by the sensation of it, my male organ swelled up to the point of bursting. The Barbie doll seemed to be aroused also. It was moaning and panting with hot breath. I decided to bypass the stage of exploration. I went ahead with the main game. I thrust part of my body deep against the edge of the Barbie doll’s inside. My body was letting out a groan like a firecracker, in spite of myself. “Ah….!” And I started moving my lower back. Like a train, fast and powerful…choo-choo, choo-choo… I raced with all my might. At last, the white smoke spewed out from the chimney. Whoosh! That day, I discharged three times onto the Barbie doll. “You are the best, Sweetheart!” Next day, I received the stuffed bears again. “Get ready, Power Man!” With a single power beam, it was gone. “I am furious! I shall take revenge!” After I finished gluing all the eyes, I took a nap. Strangely, I was not hungry. As soon as I awoke, I took the finished work to Mrs. Piggy Mother. What was nice about this job was that I was paid on a daily basis. “You finished early today. And your skills have improved.” It was the first time she complimented me. “Are there more Barbie dolls?” It was still only three o’clock. My wife, who worked as a cashier at the neighborhood supermarket, leaves home early in the morning and doesn’t get back until dinnertime. I need something to do until then. If I just sit around, not doing anything, my mind becomes loaded with thoughts and I do nothing but sigh.

“Sorry, nope…” I had to return home, empty-handed. I cleaned the house and ran the washing machine. I scrubbed the toilet bowl clean while mopping and cleaning the bathroom. Then I looked at the clock. It was five forty-five. I turned on the television. On cable TV an old movie was playing. It was a wellknown movie that I remembered, having watched it a number of times already. The protagonist was a young, handsome gambler. With a technique he acquired from his mentor, he went around to gambling sites all around the country and raked in an astronomical amount of dough. It was a movie about love, betrayal, and revenge but I couldn’t remember the details of the story. But one scene did stick in my memory. There was a huge pile of 10,000 won bills; meanwhile the protagonist is about to pour oil over it and then ignite it. It was a scene that distressed many people. Seeing the pile of money on fire, my wife had this question: “Honey, can you put out the fire with your bare hands?” It was burning violently and looked completely out of control. The female protagonist attempted to extinguish it, but it was hopeless. I don’t even recall what my response was to my wife’s question. “I can put it out. Even if I burn to death, I can do it.” My wife had said, with her fists clenched. I turned off the television with the remote control. The sun must have set because it was dark. I lay on the floor, with my eyes closed. Inevitably, thoughts swarmed in my head. Like the air released from a balloon, I let out a sigh. “You and I, shall we journey to the land of dream and fantasy?” I heard someone ask me. Should I? A black plastic bag was in the drawer under the sink. I turned on the light. There was more than half of the glue remaining. I opened the lid and smelled it. Ah, instinctively I cried out.

I poured a small amount of glue into the black plastic bag—about a large spoonful. Next, I held the plastic bag close to my mouth and nose and began to inhale. Inhale, exhale, inhale and exhale… It was the first time that I was inhaling it directly. Consequently, the effect was swift and certain. Right away, I felt strung out. At first, it was so nauseating that I almost threw up but I held it back and persevered. Soon, my vision became blurry. Objects began to look as if in double and triple layers. I could tell I was in a dazed state without bothering to look at myself in the mirror. Inhale, exhale, inhale and exhale… Ah, it’s money! There was a huge pile of 10,000 won bills that had just been printed by the Korea Minting and Security Printing Corporation. It was right on our kitchen table where I just had to extend my arm to reach it. I got up from where I was sitting. I could tell it was an enormous amount just by looking. Such a colossal amount was all mine. Should I start a business? Keep it a secret from my wife? My heart felt like it was going to explode with all kinds of thoughts. “I won’t let you just have it,” said the protagonist (from the movie I has seen earlier) who was standing by my kitchen table. He had a lighter in his hand. The bills were soaked with oil. I cried out to the protagonist: “No! Please don’t do it!” “Do you want this money?” He was taunting me. Of course, I wanted the money. “Hm, what should I do? I also need the money… How about if we do this?” asked the protagonist, sounding me out. “How about the winner taking it all? Screw it!” The protagonist revealed his menacing teeth to me. In an instant, he threw a punch with his fist. He was incredibly quick. Before I could dodge it, I was struck in the stomach. I

couldn’t breathe. My legs gave out. I crumbled right there, cuddling my stomach. “How cowardly…” I had even managed to avoid the bullets. Even if it weren’t a surprise attack, I would have been knocked down by a closed fist attack. Clenching my teeth, I got on my feet. “I am not cowardly. You just happened to be a wimp.” He threw another punch at me again. This time, I could see it for sure. His fist was aimed at my face. I dodged his fist by ducking my face. It was a very precarious moment. A large fist swept past me in a semi-circle. But before a moment passed when I thought I had eluded it, my body bent over with a thump. The protagonist had launched a two fisted attack. I felt intense pain in the same spot as before. I crumbled to the floor. “See, what did I say? You’re weak,” the protagonist said, looking down at me. “It’s the law of the jungle. Someone as weak as you are will be devoured. If you don’t want that, you should run away.” The protagonist was putting on army boots. Then he kicked me. My body hurt, like I had broken bones from the repeated blows. To minimize the shock, I curled myself up. “That’s the reason why you need to score well on mathematics and Korean. You have to know your strength and figure out your place. Otherwise, you end up like this.” I was kicked in the head. I became dizzy, about to lose consciousness. I saw the pile of money on the kitchen table. Ah, my money! If only I could have that money, I could live in dignity, like a normal person, get out of this half-basement and live above ground… Tears streamed down my cheek. “Have courage, Power Man. Your courage can protect you!” From the edge of death, I heard the voice of the Moonlight Princess. But I couldn’t make out where she was. “But the protagonist is powerful.”

“There is nothing more powerful than your courage.” The power beam gauge shot up precipitously. I could fire anytime. But I waited until it reached its full power. “Hey, do you want to be a punching bag in my gym? You have the right feel for my fists. When I hit you it feels great.” Opportunity comes only once. I controlled my breathing and brought my mind to full concentration. At last, the power beam had reached its maximum level. With my right index finger, I aimed at the protagonist, and shouted: “Full Power! Power Beam!” I aimed precisely. At full power, the Power Beam penetrated the heart of the protagonist. “Aargh!” he gasped Clutching his chest, the protagonist screamed. His eyes, full of terror and shock, were flushed red. The protagonist soon lost his balance. Swaggering, he took a few steps and fell to the ground. And then everything came to standstill. Icy silence enveloped the body of the protagonist. It was my victory. Like the protagonist said, the world works according to the law of the jungle. The strong will take possession of everything. I raised my body up and walked to the kitchen table. How much is it all? Ten trillion won? Twenty trillion won? It made me giddy, thinking about it. “Did you think it was over, huh?” I was shocked. The protagonist was sitting up. Cold sweat ran down and my legs were shaking. I was stupefied and could do nothing. “You really know how to make me angry. Why the hell did you have to fire something weird and make things so difficult? Do you think I’m your playmate?”

There was a small hole in the protagonist’s chest. The hole was gradually shrinking from the back, like a bowl that’s being filled with water. And as unbelievable as it was, it completely mended itself. He was like a new model T-1000 that was the villain in the movie, “Terminator 2.” He was not someone I could beat. Despair and terror overtook me. The gauge of the power beam plummeted to zero. “You climbed up too high. Now it’s time to crash.” The protagonist’s fist struck a blow to my face. With an incredible shock, my body was crushed. I couldn’t see anything. My body was drifting in the vast universe. Was I simply going to die like this? “Power Man, it’s me…” The Moonlight Princess made her appearance again. She sounded apologetic and unsure. On account of her, I had fired a maximum force Power Beam. That had made the protagonist angry. That is what led to my present pitiful state. I could no longer put any trust in the Moonlight Princess’s words. “The protagonist is more powerful than I imagined.” I had no desire to carry on this conversation. There was an awkward silence between us, like when you are holding a telephone receiver and no one is talking. “Would you like the money?” Of course, I did. I nodded and said, yes. “Then be strong. The world is a battleground. Only a winner can get a lot of money. And only those with money can become stronger and get more money.” It is apparent that it is the law of the jungle out there. The strong devour the weak and the weak gets devoured. Even the Moonlight Princess, the guardian angel of love and justice, thought so. “How can I become stronger?”

“That’s something you yourself know best. Believe in yourself. And have courage.” From the next day, I increased the amount of glue intake. From one large tablespoon, I adjusted the amount to two tablespoons. The effect was evident immediately. The force of the power beam was raised by one more level. “Full power! Power Beam!” The hole in the protagonist’s chest was twice the size from the previous day. But that was not sufficient. The hole was instantly mended. Once more, despair and terror came over me. The level of the power beam was also depleted. But I had my glue. I discovered that when I inhale more glue, it increased my courage and provided more force to my power beam. Another day, I increased the amount of glue to five tablespoons. A bottle of glue normally contained fifteen tablespoons. Therefore, it was one-third of the entire amount. “Full power! Power Beam!” Part of his upper body, including the head, got blown away. It took that much longer for him to return to the original state. “Is the son of a bitch out of his mind? It almost killed me!” I needed an even more powerful power beam. I needed greater courage and a larger amount of glue—so that I could annihilate the protagonist without any vestige remaining. “Let me have more glue” I requested from Mrs. Piggy Mother. “You’ve used it all up already?” “It’s best to use plenty so it will stay put.” “Yeah, but try to use it economically.” Mrs. Piggy Mother handed me the glue. She hesitated for a second and then asked, “Are you inhaling glue? You’ve lost weight. And your eyes are out of focus.” “Oh no. I am too old for that stuff,” I lied adroitly. But Mrs. Piggy Mother was not fooled. She gave me a sympathetic look and advised,

“I haven’t seen one person who ended up okay after using the glue. No matter how hard it is for you, stay away from it. Otherwise, you’re going to wreck yourself.” I returned home with work. This time, I got a ten-liter trash bag ready, and poured the entire bottle of glue into it. Then I closed my mouth and pinched my nose. Inhale, exhale, inhale and exhale… “You’re back! How nice to see you everyday!” said the protagonist, standing next to the kitchen table. “At this rate, we’re going to become friends… Before that happens, I’m going to make sure you’ll not be around.” The protagonist threw a kick. Twisting my body, I barely managed to evade him. “Hey, that’s pretty good! Your skills have improved.” He kept throwing punches. I dodged them all. “Wow, you really have improved.” The protagonist seemed flustered. I didn’t sense any confidence from his tense face, He was too keyed up but kept on kicking and throwing punches. Naturally, they were all off target. But I could not defeat him, simply by dodging. With my right index finger, I aimed at the protagonist. I thought everything depended on this one attempt. I focused my mind and brought it to full concentration. I felt enormous power in my fingertip. “Full power! Power Beam!” Booom! It made an incredible sound. From the rebound of the firing, my body was tossed back, hitting the wall with a thump. From the force of it, on the wall a crater was formed, like in a volcanic mountain. Shaking the dust off my clothes, I took my time getting up. I couldn’t see anything because of the dust. I waited until the dust settled. The money was intact. It was worthwhile, to have fired carefully.

The protagonist was nowhere to be seen. Like a sand castle wiped out by a wave, it had vanished without a trace…is what I thought. But that was not the case. “Wow, that was unbelievable! How much glue did you inhale, anyway?” The protagonist showed up again. His clothes and hair were in a mess but his main body seemed to be all right. His bloodshot eyes were red like blood. Steam rose from his head, like smoke from chimney. He appeared to be quite enraged. I could feel the intensity of his fury with my entire body. Meanwhile, I was frozen with terror. I couldn’t even move my finger. Piss was running down my pants. My legs felt like they were melting from the hot piss. “This is what you’ve turned me into. Mister, brace yourself. I am now livid with wrath!” The protagonist held up a pile of bills. It was a hundred, one million bills. He put them in his mouth and started chewing. “I’ll show you the power of money. Money is invincible.” Oh, oh, oh! The protagonist let out a horrible shriek. The rocks, which had dropped to the ground, levitated in the air. Massive light spewed forth from the protagonist’s body. His physiognomy seemed to have also changed somewhat. He appeared much more formidable and ruthless. That is how the protagonist, who had transformed himself to an integrated whole, looked. “Don’t flee. You can’t, anyway. Don’t rebel. You can’t anyway. Just bear with me a little longer. It will be over real soon.” Then I was beaten to a pulp. No matter how I tried to keep my eyes open, I could see nothing. The protagonist’s attack was swifter than light. His closed fist knuckle punches and kicks gave me a massive shock. And my bones started to shatter one by one. Blood spilled out of my mouth, perhaps from the intestines that burst. My vision became blurred and I

began to lose consciousness. Ah, “was I really going to die like this?” is what crossed my mind for a brief second. There was no hope visible. There was only terror, despair, and death. It was then that the Moonlight Princess, the guardian of love and justice, beckoned me. “Power Man…” “You have the wrong person. I am not Power Man.” I could no longer stand. I was struck in the solar plexus. That was the last blow that I could remember. I couldn’t breathe. I collapsed right there, losing consciousness.

A few days later, Mrs. Piggy Mother asked me, “Your complexion looks better. You’re not doing glue anymore, right?” “I never did.” “At any event, I am glad. Addiction to glue can only result in bad things.” At one time, I inhaled glue. At that time, I didn’t think I could survive a day without it. Life was bleak and reality felt like hell. I wanted to flee somewhere. The glue transported me to a land of dream and fantasy. But all that was a result of hallucinations. When I awoke, it vanished like a bubble. And I was always empty-handed. The glue destroyed me and made my life meaningless. I can now say so with certainty. Sniffing glue is more detrimental than smoking cigarettes. It leads to mental disorders and brain damage. It wrecks your skin and leads to a great amount of hair loss. It impoverishes your spirit and above all, it can destroy your life. So, readers, please do not sniff glue.

Chapter 3

For a while, I folded paper cranes and dinosaur eggs. It was a job that required

putting a thousand of them in a large glass jar. I could complete about 400 to 500 if I spent all day doing it. To fill a large jar, I had to work non-stop for two days. “Honey, when will you be done? Let’s go to a nice place and you can profess your love for me.”1 The first day, my wife was counting the chickens before they are hatched. “They aren’t for you.” “Then who are they for?” “Mrs. Piggy Mother.” “Who’s that? You’re seeing another woman?” My wife’s face became all flushed like a bowl of tomato soup. Yikes, it’s a red light! If I cross now, I might get run over. I explained to her carefully: “Don’t get it wrong. It’s just work.” I get paid 20,000 won if I bring 1,000 paper cranes to Mrs. Piggy Mother. In other words, I get paid 20 won per piece. “They actually sell these? I didn’t know.” To my relief, after examining the finished cranes, my wife praised me for a job well done. “But wouldn’t it be more meaningful if you fold these cranes while thinking about a person that you love?” My wife is proving herself to be clueless. These days, people do not fold paper cranes or dinosaur eggs, thinking of someone they love. Instead they open their wallets and take our their credit cards or cash. It is much quicker and more convenient. There is nothing that money can’t buy. We live in such a world.

A thousand cranes given by a man to a woman are a profession of love.

“You know, women are better at things like this. Can I fold some?” My wife started folding the colored paper. She is not very good at handiwork. She wrecked two and completed two that looked rather shoddy. “How irritating! I think I’ll just watch TV.” The paper crane and the dinosaur egg are not something you casually fold by hand. They are made through patience and persistence. You just cannot do it if you lack calmness and endurance. You also need an indefatigable spirit. That is why each moment is a struggle with yourself. The paper crane and the dinosaur egg help a person to become mature. If you fold ten thousand, all your greed vanishes; if you do more than fifty thousand, the world will begin to look beautiful. And when you make a hundred thousand, you will have an amazing experience in rising above all the trivial things in life—this is what one hopes will happen. That’s the spirit in which I worked for a week. During the time, I learned to do a faster and nicer job. It suited my temperament much more than peeling garlic or gluing an eye to a doll. Hence, I was going to continue this work until Mrs. Piggy Mother made the suggestion: “You wouldn’t be keen on doing something else, would you?” Mrs. Piggy Mother was like an older sister to me. She always showed concern for me. Unlike the Moonlight Princess, she was a trustworthy person. “Like what?” “Working in the zoo. It’s a city-funded place so you’ll be a city employee.” The mention of a civil service job piqued my interest. It was synonymous with lifetime employment. There was a regular salary and guaranteed employment until retirement, not to mention the benefit of a pension. There was no reason for me to turn it down. “My friend’s son works in the district office. Don’t tell anyone else. You’re the only person I’m telling.”

I was very grateful. Thank you so very much for your consideration even though I haven’t done anything for you—I bowed to Mrs. Piggy Mother several times. “But you need to take a test.” “What? Test? It’s not a sure thing?” “There are no freebies in life. And I thought you weren’t that kind of person, unless I am mistaken.” There is no written exam but just a physical ability test. “Do you exercise regularly?” The physical ability test was to evaluate your basic fitness. “What are the required exercises?” “Let me see. I wrote them down somewhere…” Mrs. Piggy Mother turned the pages of her part-time employment list notebook. There was a small written note in-between the pages. “There are five exercises. Do you want to see it?” There was nothing that was difficult or required professional training. No special equipment was necessary, either. They were really just physical fitness exercises. But the problem was the expected full marks that were listed next to them. “Is this the cut-off score?” I asked, in surprise. “Nope. That’s the maximum score.” I was relieved. But that didn’t alleviate my worries. The five events and the maximum score for each are as follows:

Jump rope: Time allotted, 10 minutes: 1000; Standing long jump: 270 cm; Dead hang from a bar: 5 minutes;

Push-ups: Time allotted, 5 minutes: 100; Sit-ups: Time allotted, 1 minute: 50.

There was not a single exercise I felt confident about. I couldn’t help sighing because there was no guarantee of passing, even if I received a maximum score. “It’s going to be relative scoring so you might get lucky and pass.” It also meant, I could fail if I am unlucky or perform so-so. I reflected on my past. I am not a very lucky person. “When is the fitness test?” “It’s about a month away. I’ll find out the exact date.” If I devoted myself to a month-long rigorous training with the resolve of someone about to compete in the Olympics, then perhaps something miraculous might occur. A small ember of hope ignited itself in me. “How about it? Do you want to go for it?” One gets only three chances in life. I thought perhaps this was one of them. I had to seize the opportunity. I extended my arm toward this one chance with all my strength. “Yes, I do!” Next day, after breakfast I left the house earlier than my wife. “Where’re you headed? Aren’t you going to do the paper cranes?” I summarized to my wife what had happened yesterday. “Public employee? That’s great!” “But the fitness test isn’t going to be easy. And it’s only a month away.” “Still, it’s good news. Don’t give up and do your best. Don’t let me down because I’m going to watch over you.” Her words weighed on me. Should I have not told her? My shoulders ached like there

were heavy weights on them. This physical ability test could perhaps be a trial to determine whether or not I am a capable breadwinner. Such a thought weighed me down as I stepped outside. “Anyway, good luck!” Even though it was supposed to be spring with flowers in bloom and chirping birds, the morning felt chilly. I was glad that I decided to wear a warmer workout suit. I also prepared a simple vegetable snack, water, and a towel. I rummaged through the shoe cabinet to hunt for a jump robe that had been stashed away for several years. The neighborhood was quiet because it was before the morning rush hour. As it would pain me to see people going to work, I purposely left home early. I didn’t get a wink of sleep during the night. Hearing my wife’s snoring, I was lost in thought. There is no better stimulant than excitement. This morning it was still in effect and my body felt as light as a feather. It was a sunny morning, and the air, which wasn’t yet polluted by car fumes, felt refreshing. I had already thought of the training ground. I decided to work out in the nearby gym park. With my wife, it took twenty minutes to get there on foot. I decided to jog. It wasn’t a good idea to overdo it from the beginning; therefore I jogged, similar to the pace of my walking fast. Even so, I was quickly short of breath and became thirsty. As I had expected, my fitness was nil. Considering I had neglected to work out, it was inevitable. Inhaling twice and exhaling once, I evened out my breath. I decided to bear with the thirst until I got to the park. I timed my score with the stopwatch on my mobile phone. It was necessary from now on to get in the habit of keeping track of my daily performance. It took precisely 18 minutes, 53.13 seconds to arrive at the park. I wrote down the information in my old notebook diary. There was no need to be overly ambitious from the start. I just had to improve my performance day by day. With that thought, I ran around the track in the park. It

was a small track and therefore couldn’t be more than 150 meters. This time, I ran it in 38.22 seconds. I ran completely out of breath, to the point of my head ached badly. Although I didn’t race to my utmost capability, the pain in the ribs made it difficult for me to stand up straight. I had somewhat expected it but didn’t think it would be this serious. I made a resolve to attain basic fitness by running around the track at this pace for a while. Taking a break, sitting down on the bench, I replenished myself by drinking water to make up for the fluid loss through perspiration. Then I shifted to another spot to do a different exercise. A slight distance away from the track, there was an outdoor gym with all kinds of exercise equipment. I unpacked my backpack and took out the jump rope. Among the five exercises for the fitness test, the one I was somewhat confident about was jumping rope. I had warmed up from jogging. The full score was 1,000 jumps in ten minutes. First off, I set a goal of 500, which was half the desired score. Holding the handle in each hand, I lightly spun the rope. Standing on the balls of my feet, I jumped, making sure the rope didn’t get in the way, and counted quietly. On the thirty-second skip, the rope got caught on my foot. I had to start over. I managed seventy skips. Including the thirty I just did, it added up to 100 skips. I should subtract the ones I failed to do. Each time I jumped, my head throbbed and my side ached. I clenched my teeth. Perhaps jumping 500 times from the beginning was pushing it. I reset my goal of 500 jumps to half that total, which was 250. I decided to include the thirty-two jumps that I had done earlier. At 150 jumps, I reached my limit. The rope was ready but my body would not listen to my mind. Jump! I gave the order to my body. Master, you could wreck your body. The rope that had been revolving got caught in my leg. I followed my body’s order and sat down on the bench to rest. I drank to replenish the water I lost through sweat. I became keenly aware of how much I was out of shape. When was the last time I

worked out? I couldn’t even remember. Since graduating from college, I have not done any kind of real exercise. I just put on more and more weight from eating at night and going to the company group dinner. The night shift and stress were also the cause of my loss of fitness. Except on the way to the subway, going and coming from work, I hardly walked. Meanwhile, fat accrued in my body and I was left with a protruding belly. What I saw in the mirror in the public bathhouse was a rotund naked body with the absence of any form. I viewed it as a symbol of all the breadwinners in Korea. This type of a body was a product of going to work and having a family. That is how I tried to comfort myself. The consequence of it was revealed through light jogging and a short session of jumping rope. I found out for sure that after my body was warmed up, it would immediately be burned out with 150 jumps. After the burnout? The body could just blow up. This time, I decided to take a long rest. Next, I went for the sit-ups. The maximum score was fifty sit-ups per minute. Lying flat on the sit-up bench, I locked my feet on the T-bar foot rest. Knees bent, I cupped the back of my head with both my hands, fingers crossed. I thought it was more crucial that I be able to do it, therefore, I did not time myself. First, the layers of my stomach overlapped with each other and I could not raise my lower back. Second, my tailbone rubbed against the sit-up bench board and gave me pain. Third, my rib cage was hurting. Fourth, I relied on the rebound to raise my torso. Fifth… I could not bring my body up. Lying on the bench, I looked up at the sky. An airplane flew across the sky that had not a single cloud, leaving a trail behind. I stopped short of recording my performance in the notebook. Even though it was my first attempt, I had to think of my morale. The next exercise was the dead hang from a bar. The maximum score was five minutes. This time, I decided to measure myself. Since I didn’t have a free hand, I kept track

by counting the number of seconds. Four horizontal bars of four different heights were standing side by side. Underneath, there was sand. It was an ideal set-up to proceed to the standing long jump, which was immediately after the dead hang. First, with both hands, I grasped the bar that was the right height for me. The pull-up has always been my weakness. But I didn’t know how well I’d do in the standing long jump since I’d never done it. Yet, I knew that the dead hang was also included for women. As it seemed easier than pull-ups, I felt better. I jumped to place my chin on the bar. With the sheer strength of my arm muscles, I held my body weight, counting. I counted, one,…, and two, after landing on the ground. I couldn’t hold on for even a second. I couldn’t believe that this was included in the fitness exercise test for women. I opened my notebook diary. This time, again, I did not record it. Instead, this is what I wrote:

Dead hang from a bar: build arm muscles. Weight loss is imperative!

The standing long jump is an event that requires quick reflexes and flexibility. The result can vary dramatically, depending on your position. I did research on the Internet last night. The positioning for the leap and landing were provided in detail. I took my position on the edge of the sand. I swung my arms up and down in a swift motion. I flexed my knees rhythmically. And seizing the right moment, I jumped! My body flew in the air. For a split second. Then instantly I lost my balance and dived into the sand. In the standing long jump, the furthest back mark is your score. That is why the landing position is crucial. The professionals might differ but for average people, it helps to put your weight in the front of your body for a better score. This is also the information I found on the Internet last night. Hence, that is what I did. After I fell forward, I

rolled several times, like a hot dog being coated with sugar. I took out the tape measure from my backpack: 176 cm. The maximum score was 270 cm. I was quite short of it, but it was comforting that I surpassed my height. I did not record my standing long jump result, either. I got thirsty again. Taking a short break, I drank water. With the towel I brought, I wiped my sweat. Not only for the dead hang but also for standing long jump, my weight seemed to be the problem. Indeed, I couldn’t hope to achieve a good result unless my body felt lighter. I opened my notebook diary again. I underlined “weight loss” and put an asterisk next to it. Come to think of it, the push-up is also another exercise that has a close relationship to weight loss. The given time is five minutes and the full score is 100. As a start, I set ten as my goal, I placed my hands on the ground and got into position. I did twelve. Of the five fitness exercises, it was the only one that I was able to perform better than the goal I had set. I had a cramp in my arm but I gained confidence that I could do it. In the notebook diary, I recorded my push-up score. I ran around the track four more times to improve my basic fitness. In total, it came to 600 meters. I had to clench my teeth when I was doing my final run because I learned from Internet that it was of no use if I failed to finish the exercise. I checked the time on my mobile phone. It was way past noon. Actively keeping my body moving, I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. Suddenly I got hungry when it dawned on me it was mealtime. I decided to call my morning workout quits at this juncture. Chewing on a carrot, I came home. “Honey, are you sick?” Right after I ate lunch, extreme fatigue overcame me. My body weighed a ton. I thought I’d just take a catnap but my body thought otherwise. I just continued to sleep after I

came home. It worried me because I had to go for the afternoon workout. My abdomen was sore. My hands and arms felt numb. My body ached like I’d been beaten with a club. To make matters worse, I had chills and fever. I couldn’t help but groan in pain. There seems to be nothing that is easy in life… is what I was thinking before I fainted. I was unconscious until my wife came home from work and shook me awake. “I think I am ill from exhaustion.” “I told you not to overdo it,” my wife chided me. “You’ll have dinner, right?” “Yeah, but I have no appetite.” “You’re so admirable.” Putting aside what she said, she made porridge and went out to get medicine for me. “Don’t overdo it. It’ll harm your body.” It took me three days to recover. I wasted three invaluable days in bed. Like a student who has only X number of days before the big exam, I became anxious. Then when I took out my notebook diary and looked at the performance from my first day, I couldn’t help sighing. It seemed like there were things one could do and things one should not do in life. Was this one of the things I should not do? My body was feverish and my head ached. One time, I received a phone call from Mrs. Piggy Mother. “Is your preparation going well?” I gave her a vague answer. I didn’t tell her I was sick in bed. She informed me about the day of the fitness test. “Do your best until then. If a man has his sword out, then [one should use it]…”2 After hanging up, I went into my mobile phone calendar and checked the date that Mrs. Piggy Mother told me about. There was less than a month to go. Again, I was reminded 2

A Korean saying

of the first day’s results, thus making me feel glum and more ill. I couldn’t just remain in bed so I started moving my body. I began with light stretching exercises. After warming up like that, I attempted the sit-ups. My head spun. I gave up after three. I challenged myself to do the push-ups. But I had no strength in my arm. Covering myself up, I went back to bed. I had a cold sweat running down my body. I had the chills again. Once more, I became morose and felt more ill. During the day, I went to a clinic and got diagnosed and treated. It was of course overexertion. The doctor said that what I needed was plenty of rest and good nutrition. The medication made me terribly sleepy. Hence, I just kept on sleeping. I still felt depressed but I was starting to get better. “Please don’t overexert yourself today.” My wife saw me off with a worried look. I was going to focus on weigh loss and gradually raise my basic fitness level for the time being. There was something I learned while I was sick in bed. Overexertion was a no-no. I decided to adhere to a step-by-step improvement plan. I was also going to lay aside my ambition to set a record. I decided to exercise my body as though I was playing with it. Keeping my normal pace, I walked to the park. Before I started the exercises, I did plenty of stretching to loosen my muscles. I walked a little faster around the track while keeping my breathing under control and paying attention to my posture. Keeping my body straight and tall, looking forward, I fixed my gaze. I learned that when I waved my arms in an energetic motion, it widened my step and increased the frequency. After three times around the track like that, I was sweating in a nice way. Instead of one long break, I took several short breaks. I took a number of small sips when drinking water. As for the five fitness exercises, I did them intermittently. It was important that I relax my body and just do it. But I made a consistent effort each day. If I felt even a little tired, I took an immediate rest. While taking a break, I walked around the track, drinking just

enough water to wet my lips. To my surprise, it was very effective. Everyday, I felt less and less tired. My body became lighter and I was building more muscle. I weighed myself on a scale at home. I grinned when I saw my weight. I had lost three kilograms in just three days. I devoted more time to the five fitness exercises. The books I checked out from the library helped me with the theory part of how to work out. I faithfully followed the training method that was in the book. It was much more systematic than when I was doing it without a theory. Meanwhile, I toughened my training routine little by little, while paying attention to my performance record, making sure I didn’t overexert myself. I set my goal not too high initially and was determined to reach the ultimate goal instead. I set my goal higher and higher with this approach. My performance got better, as shown in a well-proportioned graph.

Then one day, I ran into someone unexpected in the gym park. It was Manager Song from the personnel department at my former company. He was someone who was laid off at the same time as me. I was reminded of that nightmarish day. I had raced to the bathroom, hoping that I could cry all alone. It still makes me feel helpless and hurts to remember how I had to turn back because both stalls were being used. To assuage my pained heart, I drank a cup of coffee that I got from the vending machine in the staff room. “Eh, excuse me, Manager Kim….” It was Manager Song who called out my name then. “What is it?” “There is one stall empty. I wanted to let you know…” said, Manager Song with a grin and tear-stained red eyes. He was a timid and kind-hearted man but on that day his short and slight frame made him appear more pitiful. It was undoubtedly Manager Song. He was going around the empty track alone.

Judging by the warm-up suit he wore, he seemed to have come for a full workout. Although he was barely running, he was panting with his shoulders heaving. “Hello, Manager Song. How are you?” He seemed quite taken aback to see me. Like a child who’d been caught stealing, his face was full of astonishment. “Ah, how are you, Manager Kim?” We shook hands at the midpoint of the track. We didn’t ask each other how the other has been. We walked around the track side by side. The gloriously radiant world, just budding green leaves and the pretty flowers in all colors, looked especially lonesome that day. I didn’t have much to say but I did want to give him advice, for his breathing sounded rough. “Try not to overexert yourself from the beginning.” It was advice from my own experience. “Yes, I see,” he replied curtly and then added, “Thank you.” Then, again, an awkward silence passed between us. We continued to go around the track. At the fifth silent round, Manager Song finally opened his mouth. “It’s a little hard for me, as I haven’t exercised in a while.” “Shall we take a break then?” Side by side, we sat on the bench. I offered water to Manager Song. “Thank you,” he did not forget to politely thank me after drinking the water. But that was the end. Again, we kept our silence. A pigeon flew down at our feet briefly but flew away. But even the pigeon could not break our silence. Actually, there was something I wanted to ask him. From the moment I saw him going around the track, my mind was filled with the question of whether or not he, too, was going to apply for the job at the zoo.

Two pigeons landed on our feet this time and began pecking on the ground. Coo, coo, coo, the sound of the cooing pigeon intensified the silence. “Those two, do you think they’re a couple?” I asked Manager Song, and he sighed. “Could be. They look quite lovey-dovey.” I didn’t have the least interest in the pigeons. What I wanted to ask him was if he was preparing for the zoo fitness test. But I couldn’t. Coo, coo, coo. Manager Song who was gazing at the pigeons looked poignant and forlorn. “Manager Kim…” It was quite ironic that he was still addressing me by my former title even though we both had been laid off from the company we used to work at. His voice sounded desolate and lingered in my heart. “My wife…and I got divorced.” Silence. “Actually, she divorced me. Women, I found out, can be quite cold-hearted and pragmatic.” Manager Song and I have walked on the same path. And here we have met up again in the gym park. During the interim, his wife divorced him and I was still with my wife. Manager Song was unlucky. Compared to him, I was rather lucky. That was the only difference between us. Absently gazing at the pigeon couple, he continued, “But still, my wife was a good woman. She put up with a husband, who couldn’t provide for her, for several months. I felt sorry and apologetic about it and that’s why I agreed to the divorce. When we parted, I thanked her and apologized many times to her for having made her life difficult.” He promised his wife that he would send her money as soon as he made some. I learned for the first time that the story of an unemployed breadwinner, told calmly in a

composed voice, could sound so much more despondent than the story of a sobbing woman. “Those two pigeons, they seem so happy.” Bereft of any spirit, Manager Song continued gazing at the pigeon couple. Then thick drops of tears streamed down his cheeks. There are three occasions when men cry. First, when he’s born; secondly, when he’s peeling garlic; and finally when his wife divorces him. I handed Manager Song a towel. “Would you like to go for a drink with me?” It was the only thing I could think of saying to a man who was crushed. “I quit drinking,” said Manager Song, handing back the towel to me. “Thank you for today. Do you come here everyday?” I said yes. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” That’s how we parted that day. It occurred to me perhaps I might not ever see him again. I stood watching him until he disappeared from my sight. Manager Song…I called out his name quietly. A sad echo reverberated faintly. However, Manager Song showed up again the following day. He was going around the track at the same time as yesterday. “How are you?” I was glad to see him. He seemed to feel the same. We exchanged a short greeting and walked together around the track. We both felt better than we did yesterday. We engaged in a dialogue as we walked. “How have you been?” I asked him, walking in a fast pace. “Not too good, not too bad.” He seemed to be in the same situation as me. “How about yourself, Manager Kim?”

“Likewise.” I was in the same situation as him. Suddenly, I remembered to ask him a question from yesterday. “By the way, are you working out in preparation for a physical ability test?” “What?” “There are companies hiring people based on a fitness test.” “Are there such companies?” It seemed like he really didn’t know about it, and expressed interest. It was now my turn to explain to him that there was indeed such a company. I hesitated for a second. It wasn’t because I was embarrassed. I’d long lost my pride. There was another reason why I was hesitant. I was worried that Manager Song might express an interest in working at the zoo. I didn’t want more competition. That was part of the reason. But apart from that thought…life is a battle for survival and I’ve seen countless people in a fight to the death for their survival. The world encourages competition and is fueled by it. It brainwashes people into thinking that that is the key to life. But that isn’t how I wanted to live. Perhaps because I didn’t want to live like that I got laid off and ended up in a gym park like this. “As a matter of fact…” I told Manager Song my story in great detail. It took two times around the track. I did not leave out the specific exercises or the maximum scores needed. I explained how you could work in a city-funded zoo if you pass the fitness test. But Manager Song’s response was not what I had expected. He didn’t seem the least interested. “Isn’t it going to be difficult for you? You’re not in your twenties…” He expressed concern over my age. “May I ask your age, Manager Kim?” I replied I was thirty-six years old.

“I am thirty-six, also. When I reached the age of thirty-five, every day began to feel different.” We talked about getting old as we went around the track, how your body is not the same as before, that your organs are less efficient as you get older, and that’s why it was totally necessary to discipline your body by working out…and so on and so forth. Our conversation lasted five and half rounds of the track. “But don’t you think it’s possible for me to achieve the desired score by setting a goal and make an assiduous effort?” In fact, that’s why I was saddened—that I was in a situation where I had to exercise for a purpose, that I was at an age I had to make consistent effort, that I had to stake my life on a certain score… Why did I have to do this at my age? This thought, at times, made me feel glum. “Cheer up, Manager Kim. I wish you all the luck!” Raising his clenched fists in a cheerful way, he expressed his support for me. The next day, we met at the same time to work out. After doing the preliminary exercises, we warmed up by going around the track and then using the fitness equipment, we did the muscle strengthening exercises. There were many things Manager Song was ignorant about. I had to coach him, step by step, starting from the basic posture for running to how to use the equipment more effectively. But I didn’t feel like he was wasting my time. I learned for the first time that when you teach others, you learn a lot in exchange. One time, Manager Song brought an old soccer ball. “Manager Kim, would you like to play a one-on-one match with me?” We placed a miniature goal post at each end of the track and began kicking the ball. We raced with the ball, energetically moving our bodies. The score or victory was not important. Ha, ha, ha. It was wonderful to be able to laugh happily and shed some sweat in a

fun way. We could work out naturally by chasing the ball. When the game was over, we drank water to quench our thirst and chatted about this and that. It was quite fortunate that I had Manager Song to work out with because it was much more effective and less boring with him. I felt thankful toward him. I felt a surge of energy when I was with him. He felt like an old friend. Was I like that to him, too? The fitness test was fifteen days away. Paying attention to my scores, I gradually increased my workout routine. I decided to devote more time to the specific exercises than to my basic fitness. I set my goal a little beyond my capability. And with the mindset that I was competing for real, I challenged myself in each of the exercises. The result was better than I had expected. I got the maximum score on jumping rope and the sit-ups. I scored close to full marks on the dead hang and push-ups. During the remainder of the time, I needed to keep plugging away and try to improve in the standing long jump. “Great will-power. I really admire you.” Manager Song paid me a lavish compliment, with a good deal of respect in his voice. Indeed, I felt proud of myself. That day, instead of just plain water we drank ionized water, which was on me, for self-congratulations, as well as to celebrate the improvement of my scores. After filling a paper cup with ionized water, we held it up in the air and made a toast: “Cheers!” Cheers to many things, for me, for Manager Song, and for our lives. Since we are on it, why not include my kind-hearted wife? And even though they have parted ways, cheers to the woman who had once been Manager Song’s wife. But foremost, we drank to our dear friendship. “Would you care to sing a song to commemorate this occasion?” Manager Song requested with a bright smile. It seemed like a good idea but rather than singing, I preferred to relish this moment and quietly enjoy listening to a song instead.

“Why don’t you sing a song for me, Manager Song?” “Why not?” He grabbed the handle of the jump rope as a mike and cleared his throat. “Beneath the shadow of magnolia, I read the letters of Werther. On the hill where clouds blossom like flowers, I play the flute.” It was the art song, “Song of April,” with the words from Park Mok-weol’s poem and composed by the now deceased Kim Sun-ae. “Ah, ah, I am embarking on a boat at a nameless port, far away from everyone.” Manager Song’s mellifluous voice filled the empty track. I closed my eyes, and listened to his song. I had no idea that he was such an excellent singer. His song made me serene and happy. “April has returned and I light the lamp of life.” It dawned on me that it was now April. I was oblivious to the days passing as I was completely absorbed in working out. I opened my eyes. There were many bright and colorful flowers in blossom around us in the park. The world is so beautiful but why is it so very difficult for some people to make a living? I couldn’t help sighing… “The season of a radiant dream, the season of a tear-stained rainbow.” There was a time when April was also the season of a radiant dream for me. But I couldn’t remember it very well anymore because it seemed like eons ago. Memories of that time were revived as I listened to Manager Song’s song, the April of my life that was so distant from me now… It looked like Manager Song was also strengthening his workout routine. He had gained more muscle strength and his body looked firmer than when I first met him. But he concentrated on the exercises that would help him acquire quick reflexes and agility. Racing back and forth between short distances, he checked his score each time. He also went zigzagging through the rocks he had lined up. They were mostly these kind of exercises. I

didn’t give much thought to it. But when I saw him throwing his body against a tree or cement structure, my curiosity was aroused to a high pitch. He also practiced falling down everyday. Reviewing a commando manual for martial arts, he repeated the same action over and over. It looked like a rather structured and serious training. At the same time, he looked somberly dedicated to his practice. “May I ask what you’re practicing?” “I am doing the falling down exercise.” What I wanted to know was why he had to practice falling down. But Manager Song only explained what it was about. “What’s the purpose of throwing your body against the tree or the cement structure?” “That’s to prepare your body for an abrupt shock.” So why do you need to prepare yourself for that? That was the point of my question. But Manager Song gave me another off tangent reply. He must have found it difficult to talk about it. I decided not to ask him any further.

Then one day, I witness a peculiar scene. I went out for a short while that night. I was to meet my wife who was coming back from her job at the supermarket. On the way back, I met Manager Song. To be exact, I saw him. He was standing alongside the road. But I need to be more precise here. He was hiding himself behind some structure on the street, where he couldn’t be seen from the street side. But from the pavement, I had a very clear rear view of Manager Song who appeared to be a little tense. Quietly, I observed Manager Song from where I was. What was he up to? I couldn’t figure it out. “Honey, what’re you doing?” asked my wife in a loud voice. “Shush, quiet!”

Grabbing my wife’s hand, I took a few steps back to hide in a dark alley. From there, I continued to scrutinize Manager Song. “Who is it? Someone you know?” asked my wife, lowering her voice this time. I told her it was someone I knew. “How do you know him?” My wife was curious about many things. I explained to her it was someone I became acquainted with while working out. “So what’s he doing over there?” “That’s what I want to find out.” There wasn’t much traffic since it was a two-lane street in close proximity to a residential neighborhood. Speed bumps were visible in various areas. I could see automobiles with their headlights on and driving by, keeping to the speed limit. Several cars passed me by. I could tell Manager Song’s reaction was different in accordance with the car type. When a truck or a small-sized automobile drove past him, he did not show any reaction. It was the same for old cars. But it was different for medium-sized or foreign-made cars. His body tensed up visibly. I could feel a taut tension, like that of a rubber band stretched to its maximum capacity. “What’s the matter with him?” asked my wife, nudging me on the side. “Can’t you tell? He’s timing things.” It was apparent. Manager Song was timing things. “Timing? What’s he timing?” I recalled Manager Song disciplining his body against a tree or a cement structure. “I am training my body to be prepared in case of an abrupt shock.” I could now understand the reason why he was concentrating on the falling technique with such seriousness. Life is precious to everyone. It was no exception for Manager Song. That is why he was building up his body and developing quick reflexes and agility in order to

safeguard his life. Ah, the truth is always painful to bear. I analyzed it according to the norms of common sense. I could stop him before he threw himself. But there is a domain where common sense is not appropriate for a human being. If I get involved and stop him, his pride might be wounded. It takes only a split a second for a man to feel devastated. I could inflict that kind of damage on him. I didn’t want to do that. In fact, there was no need for it. Manager Song was stalling. He let a medium-sized car and a foreign car go by. His feet budged but he did not throw himself over the car. This happened several times. Meanwhile, cars went by. It was painful to watch him because it was like watching a herbivorous animal, trying to make up its mind whether or not to leap over the wall. He could die if he jumped. But if he didn’t, he would die slowly anyway. That was the only difference. I thought it would get more painful to keep watching him. “Let’s go.” I walked into the narrow alley. It was a much farther way home. But I thought it was better to take the longer way even if it took more time, rather than demoralize Manager Song. “Honey, did you borrow money from him?” My wife grumbled. She had every reason to think so. “That’s not it.” “If that’s not it, then how come you’re avoiding him?” It was too complicated to explain to her—the whole circumstances and my feelings. “I just want to.” My wife looked perplexed. “Don’t you dare borrow money from anyone without telling me.” Next day, when I saw Manager Song who was going around the track by himself, all kinds of thoughts crossed my mind. I was relieved he was all right.

“Hi, Manager Kim.” We worked out like always. After jogging around the track several times, we did our individual exercises. Over on the other side, he did the anti-shock and the falling down training. I kept finding myself, looking over at him. I couldn’t express it but I felt a pang of sorrow. “I don’t think I can come here for a while.” Manager Song told me on the way home after our workout. I didn’t ask him why. I knew the reason. He seemed to have made up his mind. “For how long…?” “I am not sure how long it’ll take. It’s indefinite, I’m afraid.” We exchanged our phone numbers. “By the way, when’s your fitness test?” “About a week away.” “I am sure you’ll do very well since you’ve prepared yourself.” We arrived at the entrance of the park. We always parted here. “Well, then…” Manager Song bid me goodbye. It was possible that I may never see this man again. Thinking that it might be the last time, I couldn’t just send him away. “Eh, Manager Song…” “Yes?” What should I say to him? I hesitated for a second. I had no intention of stopping him. Even though we were colleagues who had walked on the same path, we each have our own life to live. It was on my part the least courtesy I could show him, to embrace his choice and bid farewell. But I didn’t want to part without saying anything to him. “Please take good care of yourself,” I said. Manager Song gave me a baffled look. But he quickly smiled humbly and said, “You

too, Manager Kim.” Starting immediately the following day, I felt his absence acutely. When I was jogging around the track, I could almost hear the “Song of April” he sang for me. “The season of a radiant dream. The season of a tear-stained fledgling rainbow.” The sky was bright and the spring flowers were in blossom here and there. But why did I feel so forlorn? However, the day of the fitness test was approaching fast. I had no time to dawdle. I concentrated on maintaining the pace of up till now. I trained to the point of not exhausting myself, in order to save my energy. I optimized my condition with sufficient rest and a balanced diet. Like when you are putting together a time bomb, I adjusted the clock in my system all toward the day of the fitness test, so that it would explode at the most optimal condition.

“At last, your test is tomorrow.” It was only a day away. “Don’t get too tensed up. You’ve tried your best so I’ll forgive you even if you fail.” My wife affectionately patted me on the back. It looked like I at least passed the prerequisite for a breadwinner. Now I just had to get through the test successfully. I went to bed earlier than usual for the next day. I put on a workout suit and gym shoes. With a few things ready, I left home. The fitness test was going to take place at the playground of an elementary school that was a few subway stops from my house. But what about the students? I got all-nervous thinking that the test was such a large-scale event the school had to be closed for a day. But that didn’t turn out to be the case. Classes were in session and I could see the students through the windows. There were also many students at the school grounds. It

looked like students from two grades were having a gym class, one from the lower and one from an upper grade. Every time the children chased after a ball in a mob, it stirred up a dust cloud. Sitting in the stands, I absent-mindedly watched the children running like that. No matter where I looked, I couldn’t spot the fitness test supervisor or anyone else who seemed to have come for the test. Did I get the date mixed up? I got all worried. What if I had come to the wrong place? These thoughts made my spirit plummet. Moreover, it’s not like I was deadwood. Picture an adult sitting all by himself in the stands at an elementary school, on a school day, dressed in a gym suit. It feels very awkward and embarrassing. I averted my eyes when I saw children looking at me. I was anxious that someone from the school might ask me what I was doing there. But the gym teacher in the field was the one I was paying the most attention to. He had a robust frame with a clean-cut face. He’d been keeping an eye on me from early on. I imagined him full of taut muscles underneath his shirt. It was this man who walked toward me and asked: “May I ask your business here?” I told him the truth. “I am here for the fitness test.” There was something around his neck that looked like a watch. He checked the time on it. “There’s still ten minutes to go.” I came early to warm-up. I was sitting in the stands because there was a class in session. “We’ll start right on time. Please wait until then.” The gym teacher spoke like he was the supervisor from the city government. “By the way, smoking is not allowed on the school premises.” The gym teacher went back to the field. What’s going on? I was curious about his identity. Who are you? I wanted to ask him directly. But I decided to wait. In ten minutes, I

was certain to find out. Five minutes passed. A middle-aged woman showed up in the stands. At first, I thought she might be a parent but discovered right away that wasn’t so. “Are you here for the test?” she asked, taking a seat next to me. She didn’t appear to be a parent. Is she the supervisor who was sent by the city government? But that didn’t seem to be the case, either. I concluded she must then be here to take the fitness test. “I see. I was worried I came to wrong place.” That is how the number of people taking the fitness test came to be two. “What is your record for the standing long jump?” She kept bombarding me with questions for the five minutes we were waiting in the stands. “You’re not going to outcompete a woman, are you?” We engaged in blatant head games. But I didn’t lose control. Not saying much, I got myself psyched up. I did not view a middle-aged woman as a woman. It wasn’t because of her age. At the moment, she was simply my competitor. Five minutes passed by and it was time for the test. No more applicants showed up. It was a one out of two chance in the competition. Moreover, my opponent was an older woman. It was a match I could not possibly lose, competing under equal circumstances. My tension was diminished and I was able to relax. “We’ll start.” It looked like the gym teacher was going to supervise after all. We both got up from the stands and went down to the school ground. “Are there only two of you?” The woman said, “yes.” “There are five exercises for the fitness test. You know that, right?” The gym teacher was carrying a writing instrument and a hardcover notebook in his

hand. He was probably going to record our names and our scores. The woman answered “yes,” to his second question. “We’re going to run all five tests on a very tight schedule. Unless there is a legitimate reason, you’ll have only one chance. If you create a problem or do an illegal maneuver, you’ll be given a zero for that particular exercise.” He went over the guidelines. The first event was the sit-up. The woman lay down on the mat and got into ready position. My job was to sit on the ground and hold her legs down. The gym teacher stood next to us and timed her. The woman was frantic. Clenching her teeth, she raised her upper body and managed to do forty-one sit-ups. Considering she was an older woman, it was a remarkable achievement. She must be as hard up as I am. She wasn’t someone I could take lightly and I raised my guard. This time, we switched our roles. I did the sit-ups and she held my legs. The sit-up exercise was the one I was going for the maximum score. I raised my upper body once per second. Maintaining this pace, I surpassed the woman’s score of forty-two. She looked like she was going to cry. I did fifty-six in the minute allotted to me. It was pretty much the same for the other exercises. The woman was desperate. She challenged herself, with all her strength. But she could not really compete against me. Each time, we completed an event, she looked more and more like she was going to burst into tears. “Good job.” The gym teacher announced our results. I achieved a full score in four exercises. Only in the standing long jump did I fall short of the maximum score, with my jump being two meters and fifty-three cm. “What kind of a man are you…? To crush a woman…” I came home, leaving behind the woman with her rueful face. “You passed then?”

My wife was ecstatic. I didn’t tell her there was only one other applicant, who was a middle-aged woman. “When do you start work?” I haven’t received the formal letter of acceptance. At present, I had no idea of knowing when my first day of work would begin. “Anyway, it’s great news. Let’s go out and celebrate for all your hard work. What do you feel like eating, honey?” That evening, my wife and I went to a barbecue place and ate roasted pork belly. We even made a toast with the carbonated drink we ordered. I felt as free as a high school senior who was finished with the college entrance exam. “Open your mouth, honey.” My wife put a slice of bacon in my mouth. It put me in a great mood to be treated like a respectable person for the first time in a while.