Living With Lupus

By Darnell DePriest

My name is Darnell. I am 29 years old. I’m currently an Intervention Specialist in Euclid, OH. I also coach and run my own youth sports organization. My mother has been one of the biggest motivating factors in my life. She is resilient. She is courageous. She is a WARRIOR! However, it hasn’t always been like that.

Growing up with a mom having lupus was a whirlwind experience for my brother and me. I started seeing changes in my mother after my brother Dylan was born. I was eleven, and I remember being excited that I was finally going to be a big brother. Once they both came home, my mother seemed to slow down. She was in bed a lot, and I found myself doing more for both of them. As my age increased, so did my responsibilities. I was one of my brother’s providers and one of my mother’s caretakers. I was afraid. At the time lupus was such an unknown disease, and I knew my mother thought it was a death sentence.

Routines changed. In the summer, I would go to football practice and pick my brother up from daycare. I didn’t have to, but I felt like I could shoulder some of the burden. This added to my load. My mom couldn’t make it to every game. Sometimes she would sit in the car and watch because the temperature was off or the weather elements were at play. I didn’t have a mom out there scream- ing for her baby, but I did have a mom who embodied the essence of quiet strength. That rubbed off on me. Some days, it was tough, but I kept pushing because I had to exude the warrior spirit that is in my mom. There was a brief period when I thought my mom wouldn’t see me graduate high school. I even cried during my senior speech because of how impactful her journey had been on my own.

I always had people question how old I really was because I always had Dylan with me everywhere I went. They would ask, “Is that your son?” and would say, “You have a beautiful family!” They were surprised when I revealed that I was 15, walking with my little brother to grab a bite to eat or walk to the store. My mom’s diagnosis resulted in an early entrance into adulthood. I felt I had to shoulder the responsibility of providing for my family and being a protector and an example to my brother. I took him everywhere with me. College was tough because I was so far from home, and I felt like I needed to be there for my mom. Baby brother stepped up and took over the responsibility. When I came home, I was face to face with a young man now who had taken care of our mom while I was gone. As time progressed and my brother started to become a competitive athlete, my mom would work the concession stands at the games because she couldn’t sit in the bleachers. She couldn’t do it all, but she did what she could. The result is that Dylan is a young man in his own right, walking with the swagger of someone 20 years his senior. Our mom made us both strong, and we embody her spirit. My mom taught us what it means to be human and what it takes to be a good one.

Lupus has given my mom the foresight to equip us for life, with or without her. She equips us with lessons daily, helps us handle life’s situations, and helps us truly live life well, instead of living one filled with worry. For that, I am beyond grateful.