5 minute read
Sparking Joy by Allison Fedon
SPARKING JOY
By Allison Fedon
I don’t mean I own it or anything, but I decided a long time ago that it was who I wanted to be. Before my lupus diagnosis, before I married or had children, before I settled in my current city - I decided to make joy my choice each day. I remember hearing the phrase “choose joy” in a Beth Moore Bible study 10+ years ago and writing it on a post it note in my office the next day. Is it easy? No. Does it come naturally every day? Of course not! It has however become a habit. When negativity creeps in, when pain overwhelms my senses, when brain fog distracts me from my schedule... I turn to joy.
I surround myself with things that make me joyful. Colors I love, photographs of people and adventures, music playlists for every mood, nice candles, favorite hobbies, singing every chance I get, stationary for writing a note, healthy snacks, videos of a favorite comedian, and soft clothes. One small thing I do is carry a beautiful coffee mug with me - home, church, meetings, everywhere. It makes me happy and gives me the opportunity to share with others how they can bring more joy into their lives when they ask why I’m carrying a real mug. It’s a win win! My husband and I have two young daughters and sometimes we all need a shift in the tone of our day, and nothing changes that faster than a dance party! We turn on a favorite playlist and boogie until our grumps fade away. Costumes often make an appearance, too. Pure joy!
I also keep opportunities readily available for helping others. Writing encouraging notes and texts, funny memes, a craft that would help or brighten someone’s day, doubling a recipe to share with someone who could use it, or a phone call to check in on a friend. When I’m feeling down, a great way to turn it around is to help someone else find joy. Ask someone else what brings them joy. It might surprise you! Not only will you learn more about them, but I bet you’ll get some great ideas of how to support them in the future and take care of yourself. Serving in your community through non-profit agencies or simply in your neighborhood is a wonderful way to find joy outside of yourself.
Making a plan for activities that bring joy is also helpful when I might just need to get away from my day’s stress. Low/no cost adventures are the best! Visiting the library, taking a walk, sitting on a bench in nature, or people watching, taking a scenic drive, getting a coffee, trying a new recipe, joining a Bible study, or listening to audiobooks and podcasts. As a family we enjoy theme nights. We work with a theme around a favorite movie or topic, and plan away. We’ve had Family Prom, Frozen Night, Grinch Feast, Indoor Campout and so many more. Doing puzzles, legos, and playing board games are other great ways to have low-key
fun with all ages, and can even be done over video chat with others. Finding things that can be done when I’m feeling good enough to get out and about are equally as important as finding things that bring me joy when I need to lay low on the couch that day. Adventuring with my family is wonderful-- but that doesn’t always mean a 10 mile hike! Enjoying a new park or restaurant, meeting new people, admiring murals while walking downtown in a new place are all great ways to bring joy to your life.
Having someone to help keep you accountable for choosing joy is also helpful. In college my best friend and I would share our joys for the day. It was wonderful to reflect on our day together, and it truly doubled our joy. A spouse, parent, child or friend are all great options for prioritizing joyful thinking. Keeping a joy journal doesn’t have to be complicated. A notebook that you date and enter a few lines about your daily joys is a great way to look back and remember the good things on days when you’re struggling. My husband, John and I often end the
day with “what was your happy today?” This not only gives us great accountability, but it helps us celebrate our life and refocus our energy on the positives even when the day was a struggle. Another great idea is to keep a bucket list of joy. Maybe it’s full of new things you want to try or it’s a comfort list of things that you already know spark joy.
Having lupus gives you so little to control each day, but how I approach my day is TOTALLY in my control. There is always something joyful to be found even if you have to really search for it. Do you want to know a secret? Often when I’m on a mission to find something joyful I forget that I didn’t have joy when I started because I am just flooded with happiness! I’m turning 40 this month and BOY does that make me joyful! No, I’m totally serious! I’m so thankful and blessed to have the opportunity to celebrate 40 years of life. Does the world tell me to celebrate that? Maybe not, but I’m choosing to and you better believe it will be full of joy!
Let’s summarize: 1. Surround yourself with things that spark joy 2. Keep opportunities at the ready to help others find joy 3. Have a plan for finding joy for yourself 4. Find a joy accountability meth od (a person, journal, bucket list, etc.) 5. You control how you approach your day-- so CHOOSE JOY!
Self-care is JOY! Making sure you’re taken care of inside and out is so important when you’re fighting a chronic illness or caring for someone who is. In other words, sparking joy in your life is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Spend some time today making a list of some of these ideas above that might work for you, and don’t forget to enJOY!
