Illogically merciful

BY KIRSTIE SKOGERBOE

I have been reading through Bo Giertz’s devotional To Live with Christ this year and am struck by how candidly he speaks of Jesus and of himself—simple, profound exegesis, followed by humble confession. His entry for Monday after the third Sunday in Epiphany concerns the bleeding woman who touches Jesus’ tunic for healing. The key verse encompasses her faith: “If I touch even His garments …” (Mark 5:28). She reaches out hoping for mercy, but receives Christ’s tenderness, too.

This may be one of my favorite Bible verses; I pray for her kind of trust. More moving than this woman’s faith or healing, however, is Jesus’ awareness of her—of her “timid” faith (as Giertz calls it), her small touch, and her great need. The pastor writes, “No one who needs His help can touch Him, even if it is only in thought or just for a moment, without His noticing it.” I’ve read that sentence many times now, and it still brings me to tears. I am far less aware of Him than He is of me, yet He lives for my nearly imperceptible movements toward Him. Giertz says that “For him, moments like those are the greatest moments in life.” My feeble, inconstant faith brings my God joy.

This is a good word for anyone who feels that their relationship with Christ is inadequate—a good word for me. We often speak of a personal relationship with Him in terms of ourselves, saying things like, “I want to be close to Jesus,” or asking, “Do you have a personal relationship with Christ?” This isn’t inappropriate. There are eternal consequences for how we respond to our Savior. But when we start to realize that we will never notice or love or live for Him enough, fear can obscure the fact that He is still noticing, loving, and living for us.

The most important part of our relationship with Jesus is His tenderness toward us. We tremble, cower in sin, return to Him, and sin again. He does not change. He will always notice our need, even when our need makes us unworthy of His notice. When we pray timidly that He would forgive us, power goes out of Him to heal us with grace.

All this leaves Giertz, and us, with a final comfort: “He is illogically merciful …” We will not be rejected if we touch Jesus. We will not be rejected if we touch Him more hesitantly than someone else. No one gets His notice by degrees. He will give us His full attention, and we will receive His joy.

Skogerboe, a 2018 graduate of the Free Lutheran Bible College, Plymouth, Minn., lives in Orange, Calif.