21 minute read
Interview with Arndrea King
Interview by: Candice Bar
Arndrea Waters King has dedicated her life to serving humanity. This commitment was demonstrated when as a teenager, she volunteered as a candy striper at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. This early experience of supporting and advocating for those with health challenges fueled Arndrea’s passion to end all forms of pain, inequity and injustice. Over the years, Arndrea has lived her commitment by consistently supporting those who have been marginalized and silenced to find and collectively use their voice for change. A National Merit Scholar, Arndrea studied psychology at Emory University. Soon after, she joined the Center for Democratic Renewal. During her tenure at CDR, Arndrea organized the first conference on Hate Crimes and Hate Violence. She played a key role in the mobilization for the Georgia Hate Crimes Act and prepared major reports including the landmark “When Hate Comes to Town.” Arndrea also helped organize marches and rallies that led to the building of a major multiracial coalition, the Southern Coalition Against Racism and Bigotry. In 2006 Arndrea married Martin Luther King III. As the “First Lady” of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and The King Center, Arndrea championed several nonviolence education and social change issues while designing programs to advance understanding and activism. She was instrumental in the partnership with JP Morgan Chase to restore, preserve and digitize the archives of the King Center. Her support for the Atlanta community includes serving as a board member of the Historic District Development Committee and the Atlanta International School. Arndrea and Martin are proud parents of Yolanda Renee who has already become an activist in her own right at age 10. Arndrea and her husband are currently developing the The Martin Luther King III Parnership for Equity, Peace and Justice.
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CANDICE: Let’s start from the beginning, where are you from originally?
ARNDREA: I am from Tallahassee FL. It was a wonderful place to grow up. I am the eldest of four girls. My mother passed away last year, she was the first black nurse in the small town. My mother had an interesting journey and I feel it is important to share her story. In her small community, not only did the other nurses and doctors not want her to progress, but also even patients. Despite that, my mom was still so wonderful and had this spirit of tenacity and love. When she moved to Tallahassee she ended up becoming the first nurse of the year. She always volunteered and gave back. During the AIDS epidemic a lot of people in the medical industry didn’t know or understand, she was diverse in her field and was able to talk about treating patients with dignity and respect. I say all of this because I believe that is where just by her example, I hope I have received that level and connection to service. It’s all about each of us doing our part in whatever way and capacity in the spirit of community.
Similar to so many people, I had the spirit of wander lust. I wanted to go out and expand my horizons so I came up to Atlanta to Emory Univeristy, and I have been here since. That was 1992 so I guess now I’m considered a “Georgia Peach”. I was working the business industry and then I thought I was going to be a doctor, an anesthesiologist. I continued to work in business but I had this inner yearning to serve in a different capacity. I firmly believe now that I chose the route of being a humanitarian and a community activist. I also firmly know that we all do not have to be community activists. I worked many years monitoring hate groups and hate crimes. I would go and monitor the KKK. I worked for an organization formerly called the Anti Clan Network. The thing that is very interesting about the Center for Democratic Rule is that Reverend CT Vivian, who passed away just a few weeks ago, was the chair of the board. I worked with him for 10 years and saw the progression and that sense of activism. You could see his spirit was still filled with love and non violence. He was very merry and his eyes would sparkle. Also on our board was a wonderful southern white lady named Anne Braden.
I’ve been sharing her name a lot and would encourage readers to look her up and her story. It was in the late 50s that her and her husband helped a black family that needed to buy a house in their neighborhood. After helping them they were basically black listed and targeted. People would ask her “Would you do anything different knowing now?”, and she looks at them and this is now 59 years later, and she says “No I wouldn’t, it wouldn’t even occur to me to do anything different”.
CANDICE: Working with organizations and dealing with issues that may arise and might be very heavy, how do you mentally get through those difficult times?
ARNDREA: On the wall in my office I have a quote by Bell Hooks that said “We must never become that which we are fighting”. To me, that was a constant reminder and commitment. I think we always come from a place of power being for something rather than against it. To this day I always ask, and I challenge my daughter and my husband to do the same, whenever we are doing any type of activist work, what are we for, not what are we against. What are we for and what is the vision. That question and that quote kept me going.
I helped to organize the first hate crime summit in the early to mid 90s. It was unique because we were the first ones to being together all of the segments that were impacted. We came together as a task force and looked at the intersections of hate violence and hate crimes so that we as a community could come together. At that 3 day conference, the guest speaker was Coretta Scott King. At that point, I had already met Martin.
CANDICE: Tell me about when you and Martin first met.
ARNDREA: How I met Martin is a funny story, and it’s funny to see his face when I tell it. We were set up on a blind date and the first day that we had an actual date he didn’t make it. He had gotten called away to Louisiana. At that point, I immediately thought “he had absolutely no chance with me”, but I wanted to meet him. I felt it was my duty as a woman to let him know that this is not how you treat a lady, so then he’ll know for the next person. He called me and apologized and asked if we could meet. I was going to meet him there so I could tell him all of that, and then leave. I wasn’t even going to eat a morsel of food. We met for dinner, and as soon as he came in, I could just see his heart. Martin truly has the biggest heart and the best spirit. He is easily one of the best men I know. We have been together ever since.
CANDICE: After you got married how did you continue helping the community in a constant state of service?
ANDREA: For me, it’s a great honor to be of service in the world. Martin makes it easy because he’s such a great guy. I do think it’s interesting because coming from an average regular family, my life was different than his life. The benefit for him is that balance because I’m from a regular family and had a regular up bringing. I think all of us sometimes can live in our own bubble, and I think having a wife that is from the bubble of “regular folk” is a good thing. I always say that I believe it is important to democratize the King Legacy. Idolizing Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King is not going to bring about change. It’s all of us living up to the ideals.
It is to constantly see and challenge each of us to find our place in the creation of the beloved community and the creation of The DREAM.
I’m extraordinarily fortunate because I have the chance to meet such wonderful people. That’s why I have a strong belief in the goodness in humanity. There are so many people of goodwill out there that have done great work. As frustrating as it can be sometimes, I have no doubt in the goodness of the human spirit. I love what you are doing with women and our sisterhood. I have no doubt that during these difficult and trying times which we are in, we are going to come out better and more whole on the other side.
CANDICE: Michelle Obama talked about on her Netflix documentary finding her path and space in the relationship and her footing while being united and supporting her husband. It can be easy to get wrapped up in the other persons world and maybe forget yourself a little bit. Have you ever had that experience?
ARNDREA: I certainly think so. In particularly even being a mom, it’s almost like becoming and rebecoming. We have to remind ourselves of who we are. Sometimes we get in a routine and a path and you have to take a deep breathe and step back and think about in what ways am I being true and honest with who I am. In what ways and I giving my voice away. I think it’s a constant check, so constantly checking in and getting quiet and settled. Also making sure that you are on your path to your desires. Our desires are whispers from God. We should embrace our desires. I think sometimes it is a warning signal when we are pushing away our desires. I think this is such an extraordinary time for women. Even as we are seeing all of these movements going on, I think that it really started with the Women’s Marches year ago and the “Me Too” and I think this whole quest and research on the divine woman and all her various forms. Particularly today, we are celebrating women’s suffrage, women receiving the right to vote. We are seeing women rising up in all different ways. You see women of color being a viable choice for Vice President, no matter what side you want to win you can help but celebrate her. Also women directors, women entrepreneurs, moms, everybody. I think it’s more important than ever for all of us to find that connection with each other particularly as women to check in with each other. That’s another way to keep on your platform and find your circle and check in with each other. I teach my daughter comparison is a thief of joy. You have to cheer for each other. If someone has something that you want, cheer for her double. Another thing that helps me to remind myself to not get too consumed in negativity is the story of the two wolves... A grandmother is talking to her granddaughter and the granddaughter says:
“Sometimes I just feel so angry, tense and sad and just don’t know what’s going to happen. I have anxiety. Other times, I feel so wonderful and inspired and just great”.
So the grandmother said “Well which wolf is going to win?”
The granddaughter said: “The wolf in which I feed.”
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CANDICE: Can you share a story that was not so pleasant, but a learning experience for you that you won’t forget? Also, can you share a very positive experience or even someone you got to meet and it changed your world when you met this person. ARNDREA: One of the most more challenging times was when I was organizing communities. A colleague and myself had gone to Mississippi to investigate a case of a black man that had been found hanging in his front yard. It had been ruled a suicide. His knees had been touching the ground though and it would’ve been near impossible for him to have done that. He had been dating a white girl in the city. We were there for 4 days organizing the community and it was very challenging. First of all, I was fearful for my life because we had people that were circling the hotel that we stayed in. We went to a restaurant and they served us bad meat. The thing that was the saddest to me was when we went into a MacDonalds and there was a little white baby in a high chair that was probably 6 months old. The baby was interacting and giggling towards me while we were in line and the mom wasn’t paying attention until she looked to see who the baby was gurgling at.When she saw that it was a black woman, she yanked the child and was very forceful with it. At that moment, I felt so sad. Not for myself, but for that child. What is that mother going to teach him? As for the mom, I felt sad that she was that illed with that type of hatred. What you’re really doing is eating away at yourself. What had been interesting in my lifetime is that we would go into a community and it would be 5 or 6 of us and 200 clans. Now, you will see 5 or 6 clans and 200 people saying “No, this is not what we want.” To be able to see that shift over 20 years, it’s inspiring. There is still more work to do, but there also is a lot of change that has happened. I believe we are just at the beginning of even more change.
As for the positive experience, it’s wonderful to meet people that are well reknowned, and certainly, to take nothing from their accomplishments, brilliance and genius at all, but what inspires me most is meeting people whose names people don’t know. They are doing tremendous things. It’s amazing how people can take sometimes things that are insurmountable. Whether it’s the kids in harm, or a black mother has lost her child. We have been with George Floyd’s family, Breonna Taylor’s family, going to Columbine afterwards, and the tenacity of the human spirit is remarkable. I have been fortunate to meet so many. We were in India and Mumbai not long after the bombings had occurred there and were able to meet families and people that still keep going and are still speaking up. I have met families of people who have been killed that didn’t survive the civil rights movement. They’re still going and those stories are of courage, commitment and most of all love. CANDICE: Do you have a morning ritual or something that you do when you’re not having the best day to turn it around in a positive way?
ARNDREA: First of all, I am so blessed I have the most beautiful, wonderful network of friends all over the world. They’re close and can be there at a moments notice. I could say “Hey, can you pray for me?” or “I’m Checking in” or “This is my intention can you hold it?”, and we will hold it for each other. I’m so blessed with that. I like to get up early in the morning, 5:00 or 5:30 when the world is still quiet. If I do that, I am guaranteed that I can get some type of workout in and the house is still quiet. After my work-out I like to do deep breaths and take two minutes of connecting with my breath. After that, I move to prayer and meditation or reading something that inspires me. For me, that it is extraordinarily important to feed my soul in that way everyday. I always say, “you have to put on love”. It has to be intentional, a lot of days or times you may not feel it, and if you feel it the day before you have to kind of refresh it. I like to get dressed in energies and feelings like I like to get dressed in clothing. I like to put on love and put on joy and peace and to be intentional with that. I “try” to, but throughout the day, taking a moment and again, doing those deep breaths with that inner knowing continues to help. I like to also like to always look for things that I can be grateful for. Some days it’s just being grateful that I’m waking up and getting out of bed. It doesn’t have to be huge. It helps when I’ve gotten off track, which we all do, get me back on track. LUXE LIFE MAGAZINE | 14
CANDICE: What tips do you have for raising a female in the current climate that is going on in the world right now? Through raising your daughter, what has she taught you and what do you want to leave her with that helps her feel empowered? ANDREA: One of the things I’ve taught her since she was an infant, was that it’s really interesting and unique to be the granddaughter of Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King. There are things about every one of us that make us unique. It could be a talent, a way we view the world or a feature about us. Being their granddaughter is something that makes her unique and wonderful, but it’s not what makes her special. What makes you special is who you are as a child of God.
I would hope to give her the freedom of celebrating her legacy and also the freedom of knowing that she is worthy, wonderful and special not because of that, but because of who she is. Yolanda’s a lot of fun and extraordinarily strong. She is an activist as well so we have all three of us that are doing activist work. She spoke at the March for Our Lives with basically a 2 hour notice. When we got the call, I spoke with her and said perhaps we have to think about what you’re going to say, and she said “No Mommy, I already know what I want to say”. She said exactly to me what she said on that stage 2 hours later.
I teach her that real queens straighten each other’s crowns. Again, that’s the whole thing about celebrating the people in your life, your friends, particularly your female ones. Celebrate each other, don’t compare. Comparison is a thief of joy. Like I said earlier, if someone has something that you like or admire, celebrate them twice, don’t diminish them.
CANDICE: Being married is not always easy, it comes with some challenges as everything does. How do you and Martin overcome disagreements and still run your business for the day? ARNDREA: Well we are not a violent household so we never fight. (jokingly). It goes back to the fact that we are very blessed we have a strong network of friends and that definitely helps. It’s interesting being able to see the unique ways of coming to an issue and realizing “Okay, I’ve never thought about it that way”. For me, it also is the rituals that I talked about earlier. Being centered, in the moment, feeding myself and knowing/having what my intentions are. It’s putting on the love and peace and doing the deep breaths. It’s interesting because I use to always say I could never work with my spouse, and that’s exactly what we are doing. We are re-starting an organization that Martin’s father started
called the Drum Major Institute. Martin’s father talked a lot about the triple evils of racism, poverty, and militarism/violence. We believe that there are three values that if embraced, could absolutely diminish the triple evils. This is peace, justice and equality. If we have a revolution of values in America and the world and embrace peace, justice and equality, that’s how we will create the beloved community. We are all doing our work. Yolanda is doing things with youth. It can get to be a lot to all work together, to be together, to be married. I think that we all have things in our lives that can be a bit much. Everyday, we just have to be the best we can and try to be better than
you were the day before.
CANDICE: As you’re building organizations yourself or with Martin, at what point can you remember when you were coming up that you were really proud of yourself?
ARNDREA: Last year, we all went back to Tallahassee for homecoming. I remember going back to my high school, and being there at the sign. I took a picture and a moment to say “you know what, yeah, all the dreams that little girl had here, and about creating something that gives. You took care of her. It was more about remembering me for that little girl that I was, and knowing that I took care of her. LUXE LIFE MAGAZINE | 15
Arndrea continued...I made a vow, and I even put a picture on my phone of me from when I was really little. I even showed Yolanda too. Sometimes, when you’re making a decision or thinking about something, just always think of being true and honest to that little girl, and protecting her. Just like we want to protect our kids or our animals. What about protecting that little part of you that was so vulnerable and being there for her? Even as an adult.
CANDICE: It seems to me throughout history, we all have been fighting for some form of freedom one way or another. Do you ever feel like, “Are we still talking about this?”, do you ever get fed up? ARNDREA: Yes, absolutely. Even sometimes having to have conversations with my daughter that I know too many black parents have had over the years. I wish we could stop having these conversations. What I always tell my daughter, and I do this too, is to look for the wins. Where our energy goes, our attention goes. An example of a win is how I was talking about the different clan rallies 20 years ago and how they are different now. The fact that there are so many people out there articulating about the type of world they want it to be, that’s a win. Now, when something horrendous and horrific happens, instead of turning a blind eye, people are coming together. You still have to feel a little. It’s how I have been built, to always look for the wins and always look for what it is that we are creating. We went to George Floyd’s funeral service in Minnesota and out of all of the signs we saw, my favorite one was “When George Floyd called for his mother, all moms were summoned”. To me, it’s also not just moms that have children in the physical, but also that mothering spirit in all of us that are nurturers or that care. Once that has been opened, it’s not going back. What people have to understand too is if you’re looking for a savior, get up, go find a mirror and look at yourself. We all have a part in creating the world and the society in which we want to see. We all have different passions and unique visions; so you go, and find what you can do for your part. It might be going to a march, signing a petition or it might be something in a school or place of worship. It may be that you could start a reading or a particular legislation you want to be a part of. It also could be that you want to volunteer. You look and see what YOU can do.You find what it is to do your part. LUXE LIFE MAGAZINE | 16
CANDICE: What is one of your favorite quotes you keep in the forefront of your mind to help you stay positive? ARNDREA: I think it’s a lot of little things I’ve said. For example, the story about the two wolves. It reminds me to constantly check in with myself about what wolf I am feeding. That has served as a constant North Star for me. Also, to make sure I am articulating what I am for, and not what I am against. Ultimately, just knowing the whole concept of love, and not in the romantic sense or friendship. The Greeks had seven different words for love. Martins father had a speech about it. The highest word was “agape”, which is unselfish love. I remind myself that this work we are doing is not about collective guilt, but collective responsibility.
-Arndrea Waters King
