Karen's Column October 2021

The Great Baked Bean Debate

One breakfast topic guaranteed to cause controversy, demonstrating that you can’t appeal to everyone, is the great baked bean debate.

Feeling slightly mischievous recently, I posted on Facebook and Instagram, asking whether baked beans had a place on a full cooked breakfast.

Mischievous because it’s not the first time I’ve asked the question on social media and I knew what would happen.

Years ago, I asked on Twitter and was shocked by the vehemency of the responses, but I’m older and wiser now. Some B&B owners refuse point blank to serve them.

They hate baked beans themselves and it would turn their stomach.

But the overriding objection from B&B owners is that they make the breakfast plate look messy.

For many of us, our cooked breakfasts are a work of art and beans have a mind of their own; They don’t sit nicely in one place however hard you try to contain them with a sausage - an Instagram nightmare!

The consumers of the breakfast also have many different foibles.

Yes to beans but they must be Heinz, mustn’t touch my egg, bacon, sausages…

The obvious solution to this - or so you’d think - is the ramekin.

The plate stays pretty and the guests can put the beans exactly where they want them.

But no!

There are just as many people who hate beans in ramekins.

All this goes to show is that you can’t win at breakfast! Now how do you feel about brown sauce or ketchup?

The Academy Award Goes To...

One question guaranteed to get my hackles up at breakfast is when a guest asks “What have you got planned for the day?”.

Though that’s slightly better than “So what do you do for a living?”

I’m never entirely sure what they want to hear.

“Oh, I’m off to a 2 hour lunch with friends and then an afternoon at the spa, whilst the cleaning fairy does 5 hours of cleaning, 1 hour of shopping, 2 hours of ironing and 2 hours of baking.”

I suppose it’s a compliment in a way.

They see you as the swan gliding smoothly through the water, without being aware of the frantic paddling underneath just to stay afloat.

Being the calm, collected B&B landlady is a performance.

And most guests don’t really want to know about the sweat and tears that go into making everything perfect.

There was one day when the power went out just before breakfast.

I have a gas hob, so it wasn’t a complete disaster.

But having to get out 6 different breakfast specials, including a hollandaise done “the proper way”, all for 9am, did reduce me to a crying, sweating ( and yes - swearing ) wreck.

It was also winter and our hob is in a dark corner of the kitchen, so it was all done by candlelight.

The guests left a review saying “Despite the power going out just before breakfast, Karen produced a magnificent feast and remained calm and collected throughout” Another Academy Award to add to my collection.