Lydia Magazine ( Issue 1, Summer 2014) by Lydia Magazine

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SUMMER! ISSUE 1

+MAKE A SPLASH WITH A

SUMMER 2014

DIY BOHO BEACH PARTY

IMAGE COURTESY OF LOLY IN THE SKY

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS

IN THIS ISSUE

EDITOR’S LETTER When Lydia first launched a little over a year ago, the idea of a print issue was a very distant one. All we started out with was an idea (an editorial project, run entirely by women), a rudimentary website, me and my computer and the hope that I would be able to find some likeminded women to help me. Now, just over 12 months later, with a newly redesigned website and, more importantly, a contributing staff full of gals that are not only likeminded, but insanely talented, witty, intelligent and more dedicated to Lydia’s mission than I ever hoped possible, we’re ready to present the first issue of Lydia Magazine to you. No Photoshop, no $10,000 handbags, no articles on how to get that illusive “bikini body” or “summer trends men hate” — you’ll never see that stuff within our pages or on our site. Just great content, made for women just like you in mind. We hope you think that’s as awesome as we do. Suffice it to say, it has been a surreal experience, watching concept turn into creation, paired with many long days and nights of hard work (special thanks to my sister Jessie for the afternoon she spent clicking and dragging when my wrist needed a vacation, and to my mom for fielding many stressed phone calls) passion and fun. I can’t think of a better time to share our latest and greatest content with all of you than the summer season, already so full of the vibrancy and freshness that we hope this issue will add to your next three months. The women we’ve assembled here are in a class all their own, from super talented author Rainbow Rowell (Rainbow Bright, pg. 26) to celebrated indie musician Alexa Woodward (pg. 22); all different ages, from different backgrounds, and at different stages in their careers but all distinctly “Lydia” — smart, hard-working, and undeniably cool. We hope that you find something within these pages that inspires you. Maybe you’ll find something new to love (Feminist Apparel is the best online shop we’ve seen in a very long time), learn something new (did you know that only 22% of the top film critics in the country are women?), meet someone new (if you’re not watching web series, the group of women we’ve profiled, from Issa Rae to Julia Grob, will certainly show you what you've been missing) and have an incredible and unforgettable season wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.

Happy Summer and Happy Reading,

SUMMER FAVORITES

Alanna Stuart 8 PHOTOGRAPH BY MAY TRUONG

Favorite Book Dream Vacation

“Any place near a clear body of water - could be a lake, river, or ocean. As long as it's not too far a bike ride or car drive from trees.”

Favorite Movie

Beauty Essentials

FOCUS Features

Lost in Translation

“Coconut oil as a cleanser and moisturizer, a Province Apothecary facial as an occasional treat, drinking plenty of water, boxing regularly, and good sleep. Once my health is taken care of I accessorize with Balenciaga’s Florabotanica perfume, MAC's 'Russian Red' lipstick, a good waterproof mascara and always a warm blush.“

Mix Tape

Style Icons Chloe Sevigny's "classic with a big twist", Grace Jones "WTF" element and Katharine Hepburn's feminine-leaning androgyny . 9

St. Vincent's Prince Johnny, AroarA’s #14, James Blake’s Overgrown, LCD Soundsystem’s Get Innocuous, Hustle Reggae Disco compilation

IMAGE COURTESY OF LOLY IN THE SKY

WALKING ON SUNSHINE

IMAGES COURTESY OF FEMINIST APPAREL

THIS IS WHAT FEMINISM LOOKS LIKE Romantics wear their hearts on their sleeves, now feminists can into the company to continue growing it and accomplishing our wear their beliefs on their t-shirts. mission on a larger scale,” he said. FeministApparel.com has become that one stop shop of equal rights expression for women (and men.) With its mixture of smart, funky and clever feminist slogans on versatile t-shirts and tank tops, the site has already made waves on the internet and beyond (Gloria Steinem herself is rumored to sport the shirts.)

While more than 90 percent of its customers are women, Feminist Apparel does offer shirts in unisex or men’s fit style. Some are even specifically designed for men, such as a t-shirt that says “Men of Quality Respect Women’s Equality,” Martofel pointed out.

The site was launched in December 2013, and although it stems from and supports a serious issue, it was immediately apparent that the site would create awareness about women’s issues in a fun, outspoken way. It’s hard to peruse the site and not find a shirt that speaks to you, or at least catches your eye.

What is a top priority is building a dedicated team that is currently made up of Martofel, graphic designer Chris Nappi and Amy Shackelford, lead marketing manager, who works part-time and helps spread the word via social media brands and partnerships.

The site also has a Resource page that they hope men and women In addition to being the only company of its kind, Feminist Apparel alike will check out to learn more about feminist issues and causes is notable for one other reason—it was created and is currently run that they may not have otherwise been exposed to. by a man. But other than clever designs on t-shirts, Martofel is making sure Shortly after graduating from Rutgers University, Alan Javier his company is doing something concrete for the feminist cause. Martofel decided that he wanted to become better informed on Twenty percent of each purchase (shirts cost $24.95) is donated to “intersectional feminist issues,” and have a creative outlet to exWomen’s Way, an organization that provides grants, public educapress his own feminist beliefs. tion and advocates for a lot of feminist issues. Feminist Apparel The idea for Feminist Apparel was spurred on by a short documen- passes on the 20% donation to Women's Way and relies on their 35 tary that Martofel was working on at Rutgers about the Clery Act, a years of experience and expertise to figure out how to best help the statute that requires all colleges and universities that participate in community. federal financial aid programs to keep and disclose information Now solely an online retailer, the company could move into a brick about crime on and near campus. His documentary focused on the and mortar store if it continued to grow. Already based in Philadeldifferent ways numbers are reported within the act that don’t rephia, like Women’s Way, it would be the chosen location. flect the extent of sexual assault on college campuses. “Philadelphia has a great activist-feminist base,” said Martofel. In order to fund the project he nixed the idea of a Kickstarter campaign and instead decided to sell feminist t-shirts. This led Martofel Right now Feminist Apparel is successfully reaching its target audito the discovery that there was no website in existence that sold “a ence through its website and social media, so a physical location isn’t a top priority yet. variety of fun feminist t-shirts.”

Currently the only woman on the team, Shackelford landed the job The shirts have a variety of sayings and designs; there’s “Cats after perusing the site and buying a shirt for herself, later realizing against Catcalls” and “Free Pussy Riot” to “We Shall Overcome,” that she could mix her marketing skills and feminist values in one with a 60s era image of feminist pioneer Gloria Steinem, and even a place. Once she graduates this semester and wraps up her position at the website Everyday Feminism, she’ll be joining Feminist Apparsimple white t-shirt with “Feminist” in black capital letters. el full-time. “We are striving to make this a wholly feminist and intersectional company and brand, so I always keep my ears and eyes open to rec- Her favorite shirt also combines two of her favorite things, femiommendations, critiques and especially fan mail,” said Martofel, nism and cupcakes. who encourages fans to share their thoughts with him via email.

“My favorite shirt is probably the ‘Riots not Diets” t-shirt with the Interestingly, the head of Feminist Apparel has a day job, too. The cupcake,” Shackelford said. “I’m sort of known for being a bit cup25-year-old still relies on video production as his main source of cake obsessed.” income. A site that supports equal rights and spreads the love of baked “I continually invest the money from Feminist Apparel sales back goods? Definitely Lydia approved.

14 IMAGE COURTESY OF TOPSHOP

British fashion is having its moment in the spotlight. We were dancing in our desk chairs when, earlier this year, Topshop announced that they were finally expanding en masse to the US. But we quickly realized that they weren't the only ones. Many other British fashion brands are making their way to the States in a movement that can only confirm that America is well and truly loving the London Look. The arrival of British high street labels in the US has been happening slowly over the last few years, with the success of the 2012 London Olympics, the arrival of the royal baby last year and the continuing influence of Kate Middleton’s style choices (she has put many UK brands on the map, from LK Bennett, who opened their US flagship in 2012, to Hobbs, now on sale at Bloomingdale’s stores in the US, which has attracted much additional attention thanks to Middleton’s role as unofficial brand ambassador.) While some labels have tried and failed to enter the US market in the past (known for their “Britishness,” both Marks & Spencer and Laura Ashley suffered huge losses when they attempted to break America) major companies are taking note as they cautiously dip their toes into American territory. But many brands have taken the “it’s now or never” approach, latching on to the tidal wave of media interest, packing up their Wellies, and making their way to American wardrobes. You’ve probably already heard of ASOS, the giant online retailer known as much for their distinctly British style as they are for their massive seasonal sales. But you might not yet know boohoo, who opened up sales to the US just a short while after ASOS, and whose distinct calling card is a chic appreciation of mix & match separates at an incredibly affordable price, plus free shipping to the US. In fact, both of these e-commerce sites are doing extremely well, with America now counted as ASOS’s fastest growing market. But the Brit benefits don’t stop online. It is Topshop’s US takeover that has set tongues wagging. After their huge success selling capsule collections through Nordstrom, and the popularity of their Soho outpost in New York City, the company has finally set their sites on a more far reaching expansion. They will open five stores across the country this fall alone, in Washington, San Diego, Houston and Atlanta, as well as opening their second store in New York City (and their second largest flagship) on Fifth Avenue. Other brands eyeing the US market include Superdry, Jack Wills and Barbour, whose first US store opened on New York City’s Madison Avenue in 2003. Even Boots, the popular UK pharmacy, has made it’s way to the U.S. with a 2012, $6.7 billion deal that sees their products being sold in Walgreens and Duane Reade stores throughout the US. Of course, London has long been the home of the street style shot, young wacky trendsetters and rock stars. It’s where fashion comes for a revamp. London is where she who dares, wins. It brims with legendary designers such as Alexander McQueen and Vivienne Westwood, as well as up-and-coming talents like Jonathan Saunders and Simone Rocha. It is no surprise that its high street is one of the trendiest in the world. But what is it about the London look that causes so much sartorial obsession state-side? Style bloggers on both sides of the Atlantic have some ideas. If anyone knows about British dressing, it’s ex-London girl and American fashion blogger Sasha Wilkins, of Liberty London Girl. “British style is a distillation of personal taste and current trends,” she says. “The thing that the British are particularly good at is that wearing one look, head to toe, never really works. It’s a mix of vintage, contemporary and high fashion that makes the British look so beguiling.” Born and bred British blogger Carrie Harwood of the popular London-based lifestyle blog Wish Wish Wish believes that a lot of trends are born abroad. “I think British style really represents how diverse and innovative the culture is here today,” she says. “Young Brits aren't afraid to get creative with what they wear, so it's no wonder that so many trends start right here on the streets of London”. And when it comes to what American girls dig about UK fashion, top Teen Vogue blogger Allison Ramirez of The Stylish Soul, says it’s all about being bold. “British style is all about fearlessness! British girls wear what they love and exude a sense of profound and cutting-edge fashion that amazes me each time I see a street-style shot,” she says. “As an American blogger, I look to these girls as an inspiration to be more risky when it comes to my wardrobe choices”. Thankfully, it seems that American girls will have no shortage of style inspiration from across the pond in the seasons to come.

16 IMAGES COURTESY OF BOOHOO

IMAGES COURTEST OF BLUSH

Life can be mean. Blush wants to help you talk behind its back.

few different areas. I had the privilege of working for a high-end restaurant chain during my time in graduate school. There was so much pressure amongst my managers, who were mostly highly educated and intelligent young women in their 20s. They were very capable individuals. However, turnover was rampant, emotional breakdowns were frequent and the stress of it all was too much! I knew a lot of them wanted to seek help from a professional, but there was simply no time (or no way.) With the long work hours and the stigma associated with seeing a professional, I knew my managers would just sit and bear it until they could quit or be transferred.

It’s no secret that we’re facing down some serious pressure on a daily basis—the stress of school, the overwhelming process of choosing a career, and then finding a job when so few are available and salaries are so small; maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family and significant others; indulging in hobbies that are so important to our mental well-beings; and, of course, dealing with the ever-present, time sucking beast that is technology, being tethered to our phones and laptops 24-7, comparing ourselves to the picture perfect, edited lives that our peers are presenting to the world. I thought about it for a while and realized the solution was bringing coaching, not counseling, to an online platform. These managers It can be so easy to feel like you’re failing, left behind, generally out didn’t need help figuring out how to function day-to-day, they of control of your own life. Kali Rogers and her team understand needed help handling stress and pressure. Plus, an online modality what you’re going through, and they have the tools and knowledge creates convenience, efficiency and privacy. Anyone who moves to help your average hard-working, aspiring, 20-something woman can continue the service without having to start over. take a hold of her life, cross off her goals and live healthier and happier than ever before. This isn’t counseling, it’s coaching — and it’s It made perfect sense to me. I just got so excited about this idea, all done online. and I knew that I didn’t want to limit it to a corporate setting. I wanted to open the doors to any on-the-go girl feeling the pressure On the site you talk a little bit about how an encounter with your of life without the time to find an outlet. friend was the catalyst to starting Blush. Can you tell me a bit more about the inspiration behind the site and the online coaching meth- I think that our generation specifically has it pretty rough nowaod? days. We used to live in a world where compartmentalizing and separation were possible. Now, school and work come home with Absolutely. My inspiration for the modality of Blush came from a

us through our computers, tablets and phones. There’s no end. So, dentiality, an objective point of view and sound guidance, and that Blush wants to meet girls where they already are—online. Instead is what we offer. of asking our clients to come to us, we go to them. What is your definition of life coaching? What are the most common I want to break down the barriers of life coaching and counseling. I problems that women in their 20s struggle with that they should want to give girls the choice be proud of their journey. Some of my consider life coaching for? Do you use any specialized methods to clients confidently talk about Blush with others and are proud of address these particular life goals/roadblocks at Blush? finding a fun way to work through issues. Others prefer to keep My definition of life coaching is a collaborative relationship that their private lives to themselves. Either way is totally okay—I simpfocuses on the client’s present obstacles and future goals. We work ly want life coaching to become as normal as going to the gym. It’s to navigate the jungle that they’re currently facing, and come up all about self-improvement. with a plan of how to tackle the rest. We normalize feelings of anxiI love that Blush is a site that is exclusively about women helping ety or insecurity, cultivate confidence for the present, and ignite women learn, grow and thrive —why did you decide to go that route? future growth. I really do believe that society’s developments have made it extremely difficult for girls to be self-confident and assured in today’s world. Social media has taken over friendships, first relationships, school, and much more. Everything is public. Girls can’t shut off the drama or the anxiety once they get home—it’s always there. My heart aches over it!

Most women in their 20s come to Blush looking for career and relationship help. Career and relationship satisfaction are very important to 20-somethings, and rightfully so. During our 20’s we can actually take the time to assess what we want out of life! What makes us happy? What job would bring out the best in us? Or even still, what guy? Is it time to get married? Stress on stress!

Then we “grow up,” and there’s omnipresent pressure. We “should” ourselves. All of a sudden, we have to get into the best college, the coolest group, the highest ranked graduate program, secure the greatest job, have the perfect body, date the right guy, have the fairytale wedding…or whatever it is that we want! The point is this search for perfection runs our lives. Guys put the pressure on us, girls put the pressure on us, but most of all—we put it on ourselves. There needs to be a sanctuary for girls in this rat race to go and talk to another girl who gets it. They need validation, empathy, encouragement, and guidance. We all do! Therefore Blush is for the girls, and it’s run by girls. It’s all about us.

We need to take the time to really consider our options, even if we feel like there’s none to spare. Choosing wisely in our 20’s helps set an amazing foundation for what’s ahead.

Do you think that trepidation in admitting to using or needing a life coach or some sort of counseling is something that women in particular struggle with? Why do you think that is?

Sure, every coach has their own individual quirks, theories, and tools that they use during sessions. We all have different personalities and mindsets, so our sessions will look different. I personally have found that the best way to create change is to establish a trusting relationship with the client while being completely genuine. Nothing is formulaic, or you risk losing that trust. Sessions vary from laughing fests to deep and serious discussions. It totally depends on where the client is, and what’s in front of her for the week. Being flexible and present helps the client gain control of her sessions—she decides what she needs to work on and what she feels ready to leave behind. My job is to help her prioritize, execute, and feel confident in the process. I’m always involved, but being in charge all the time takes away from her growth. Planning ahead can roadblock change, so we all have to learn how to be very flexible.

I honestly think it’s hard for anybody to admit that counseling or coaching is on the table. It means we can’t handle things ourselves, right? I think males feel pressure to hold down the fort, never cry, and be strong. Admitting to seeking help could be detrimental to Tell me a bit about yourself, your team of coaches and how you asthose very values, and I have seen that it can be easier for them to sembled them. What were you looking for in the ideal life coach? see another male to help them sort out this cultural stigma. Does each have specialties that prospective users should consider? Girls, on the other hand, are used to talking about their problems. I went to the University of Texas at Austin and earned a B.A. in PsyWe talk to our moms, our friends, our sisters, or whomever else. chology with a Business Foundations certification and a CommuniThe problem is, there comes a point when we need objective and cations minor in December of 2009 (I graduated a semester early professional opinions/advice/tips/help. Since we are so used to to work). In the fall of 2010, I went on to graduate school at Southtalking about our problems with the ‘girls,’ the question becomes, ern Methodist University in Dallas and earned my M.S. in Counsel“Why couldn’t you just handle it over a glass of wine?” or “Oh, it’s ing. I passed my LPC-Intern exam in 2013 shortly after graduating really serious then, right?” and began working at a private practice, only to realize I wanted to Naturally, we feel ashamed or embarrassed when faced with those go in a different direction (Blush!) reactions. Of course, I encourage girl talk and female bonding, but I Blush launched in January of 2014—meaning it is very young. Obvialso encourage smart decisions. If a girl is feeling a lot of pressure, ously in the beginning I really needed to trust my coaches. Thereshe needs the help of someone who is trained to help, as well as a fore, I selected three coaches that I attended SMU with to be on great support system. Joining Blush is not admitting a flaw or a Blush. Although our diversity is lacking (something I cannot wait to weakness; it’s making an intelligent decision. Girls deserve confiimprove!) we do all have different specialties, interests, and per-

sonalities. I helped write each of their bios to showcase their personalities and specialties, so clients can get a feel for what we offer. So, how much does coaching with Blush cost? Our business model has changed recently. I found that a lot of girls could not afford our service, and the ones that can deserve a break. Going broke while feeling better is not the point. I also found that not every girl needed hour-long sessions. So, we made a change! We now offer membership plans as well as a la carte sessions. It goes something like this:

Credits=$25 350 word Journal=1 credit

I guess my “thing” would be motivation. I tend to be my client’s cheerleader. I like to highlight their strengths, develop their weaknesses, and make sure they know they are the best thing since sliced bread. I love to help solve problems to find the reasoning behind WHY things happen, so it’s no surprise I find myself working on careers and relationships the most. It’s the best job ever.

30 minute session=2 credits

Membership Plans: The Touchup= $79/month (4 credits) The Essentials=$149/month (8 credits) The Makeover= $249/month (16 credits)

Nonmembers (Pay As You Go): Journal=$25 (one credit) Session=$50 (two credits) This plan allows girls to have consistent life coaching, without compromising their livelihood! Girls can mix and match their monthly credits (sessions and journals) to get the right amount of help that they need. If girls still want traditional hour long coaching once a week, they can sign up for The Makeover and book back -to-back sessions. It works for everyone, and no one goes broke. Woo-hoo! If you could give one overarching piece of advice to any woman in their 20s, what would it be? Short and simple: You are doing better than you think you are.

LYDIAMAG25 OFFER ENDS AUGUST 1, 2013!

Danielle is my flower child! She’s a health nut, loves nature, is very spiritual, adores Harry Potter, and of course lives in California. Talk to her and you’ll feel like you just met Kate Bosworth or some Bohemian Goddess. Girls really relate to her free spirit, and she does a really great job with validation and inspiration. She’s a great match for girls who feel stuck, or are battling depressing feelings.

Charlotte is my old soul. She is very mature and when you talk to her, you feel like she’s already gone through the exact same thing. She has a very calming quality, and therefore it’s no surprise she has been very successful working with children of addicts at the Betty Ford Center. She’s a great match for girls who have a lot of anxiety and need that calming encouragement and steady character to help them through.

Alex is my rebel. She was a college athlete, her boyfriend has dreadlocks, she has tattoos, and her personality is very straightforward. Naturally, her counseling style is one that challenges and motivates clients. She’s the cool one, for sure. Plus, she knows all the cutting edge music and she’s a sports fanatic. We’re all jealous of her. She has a lot of experience working with the LGBTQ community and young adults too! She’s a great match for girls who feel like they don’t fit the mold, feel misunderstood, or are breaking conventions.

How does your "Perfect Is" movement tie into the concept of beauty? We believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. There’s no such thing as one type of beauty and I want people to realize that. I chose the word perfect over beauty because people seem to be afraid of the word perfect. Society’s definition of the word perfect is constantly hanging around in the back of our minds and causing us self-doubt. So, I decided to create a movement to redefine that word. Once you redefine perfection, you begin to gain back the power and use perfect to your advantage.

REDEFINING PERFECT

It will help empower you to believe in yourself and always stay true to who you are. That’s what beauty is in my opinion; it’s when you have confidence in yourself and are brave enough to be the unique individual you were born to be. Once you believe you are beautiful, that belief will radiate out of you like sunbeams and you will glow. How are you accomplishing the goals of your "redefining perfect" manifesto?

The “Perfect Is” Movement is redefining the word “perfect” by declaring to the world that we have the power to define perfection by our own standards! Through our website and YouTube page, as well as at our events, we ask people to submit their definition of perfect. Each person who joins the movement is not only redefining There’s no greater beauty than being yourself. Positivity purveyor the word for themselves, but is also inspiring thousands of others Alexa Carlin knows this well. Three years ago, when Carlin was still to love themselves for who they are. a college student, she started the highly inspirational site, Hello Perfect, a personal passion project that empowers individuals to We also reach out to influential people in every industry to help redefine perfection and accomplish their dreams. We recently spread the movement. A few people who have joined are Marc Jachatted with Alexa to learn all about her motivational activism and cobs, Shaquille O’Neal, Steve Madden, Mark Cuban, Michael Kors, what drives her to inspire so many others daily. Rebecca Minkoff, Leandra Medine (of The Man Repeller), Whitney What drove you to start the Hello Perfect movement? Growing up I always had low self-esteem and I wasn’t brave enough to be my true self. I was always scared someone would judge me and I constantly changed my style and my opinion on things just to fit in. When I was going into my junior year of high school, I decided to run for student body president, and I was elected. This changed everything. I accomplished something that I never thought in a million years I could. That’s when I realized the power of one’s dreams. When I began focusing more on my passion and less on materialistic limitations, my self-esteem and confidence increased. I began to step into my true self and love who I was as an individual. It was the summer of 2011 when I was interning in New York City for the first time and I remember this moment that sparked the start of Hello Perfect. I walked into the bathroom at a club and saw a line of girls staring at themselves in the mirror, criticizing how they looked. At that moment, I knew that something needed to change. I wanted to start a movement that would help people of all genders and ages redefine perfection to their own standards so they can have the power to chase after their dreams.

Port and Matisyahu. How has Hello Perfect evolved since it began in 2011? We’ve grown exponentially. It started as just a personal blog and now it's a worldwide movement. We have writers located all over the world who send in their personal stories, we have campus ambassadors at select colleges and high schools, and we have collaborated with some awesome companies who have helped spread our message. Our website is now read in 173 countries! What's your vision for Hello Perfect's future? I see Hello Perfect as a platform where people can go and share their personal struggles, hardships, successes, and fears with the community and gain support and positive feedback for what they're doing. I want Hello Perfect to create positive change in people’s lives that empowers them with the confidence needed to change the world. The Hello Perfect Dream Catchers are the movers and shakers of the future.

22 PHOTOGRAPH BY RENEE COLE

There is an incredible amount of treasure to find in folk singer Alexa Woodward’s music—perfectly twang-y banjo, dusky stars, calming echoes, and secrets you’re lucky enough to be let in on. One of the most remarkable things about her music, though, is its sense of balance. This balance is made even more notable when you learn about Alexa and her story. She’s an artist who’s spent time in bustling New York City and the more relaxed South Carolina, who’s musical influences range from Andrew Bird to Nina Simone, who’s done million-hour-long open mic nights in dingy New York clubs and done a tour across the United States and Canada. Her new album, Might Nigh, is a magical blend of the beauty of the Appalachian region of southeastern America, and a personal reflection on a rapidly changing life. We talked with Alexa all about her music, her fun tour stories, and how she’s living a life of balance and happiness. Tell us a bit more about your background. How did you first get into music? I have always loved music, though I don’t have any formal training. I picked up the guitar and the banjo in college while living in Boston and started playing open mics. From there I was invited to join a couple of shows and ended up performing shows regularly while living in New York City. After three years of living and playing in New York, I took off to pursue two years of full time touring in the US, Canada, and Europe.

they often became a showcase for anyone who could out-weird everyone else. It was there that I tried to understand my unique voice and carve out something authentic. Touring and then coming back to South Carolina, where things are generally slower, and less saturated, I think my music has experienced a lot of space and I have enjoyed the ability to weave natural themes and experiences into the songs. Your songs have such a sense of honesty and genuine exploration to them. How do you manage to stay true to yourself without being overwhelmed by all of the other music and art being created? I love the process of creating something that is deeply personal for me but is also accessible to a listener who knows nothing about my life; I think the best works of art allow the listener or viewer—the person experiencing the art—to filter the creative quality of the work into a framework of personal meaning. So I don’t pay much attention to what is being created around me as far as feeling like I need to keep pace with trends or do something new or marketable; I just let things come out as they come. Then I work the songs into recordings or arrangements that feel like an honest expression and if I’m ultimately happy with them, they make it onto albums and out into the world.

Who (or what) are your biggest musical influences?

I noticed that nature is very present in a lot of your songs—from water, to mountains, to moths. Does something about nature in particular inspire you to create art?

Joanna Newsome and Mariee Sioux for lyrics; Andrew Bird for interesting layered arrangements; and Nina Simone for the important big picture stuff. I feel like music has such a mosaic effect on my creativity that it's really difficult to pinpoint what comes from where. Just about everything I listen to and enjoy, from Motown to hip hop to indie folk, has found its way into my songwriting in one way or another.

I do find nature to be deeply inspiring. There is an elegant simplicity in the natural world—an efficiency that is simultaneously indulgent and beautiful. I don’t think we humans have figured out how to emulate that uncanny ability of natural systems, to exist without producing waste, to find systemic balance. I admire that and find that it translates into principles and ways of being that are conducive to music.

I saw that you were raised in the south, but then moved up north to New York City. Do you feel like those parts of you come together in your music, or that one overtakes the other?

What does the process of writing a song entail for you?

Both of these regions have certainly affected my music. While I was in New York I was influenced a good bit by the anti-folk scene—a movement that produced a quirky variety of folkinfluenced pop music, producing artists like Regina Spektor and others. I remember my first few open mic experiences in the city involved showing up at the Side Walk Café in the East Village to sign up for open mics that started at 7pm and went until 2 or 3 in the morning with hundreds of performers. Those nights were so saturated with artists trying to do something memorable that

I write in waves. I tend to have highly productive periods of creativity that span over a couple of weeks or a month where themes and ideas that have been percolating finally take on more robust forms. Often times the lyrics and melody develop at the same time, and some of my best songs were written in a single sitting, coming together in a few hours. Others require working and reworking over time. Your music is so calming and thoughtful—is the process of creating your music as soothing as the result? The initial experience of writing a song could be described as a rewarding expression of something that feels like it needs to

come out. While I enjoy the process of working with musicians and sound engineers to create a record, that part of the process requires a tedious attention to detail and a huge amount of work. I saw on your blog that you just finished working on a new album —exciting! Can you give our readers an idea of what to expect? The new album is called Might Nigh, which is an Appalachian English phrase meaning “almost” or “very nearly.” The album has twelve songs, many of which are in one way or another tied thematically to the Appalachian region of the southeastern US; some through references to specific places (i.e. Table Rock State Park, the Blue Ridge Mountains, Highway 25). These songs, written between 2011 and 2013, cover an array of benchmarks in my life. Those two years were full of significant life events: getting married, losing my father-inlaw to cancer, deciding to adjust my musical path and taking on a job at a university rather than touring full time, and most recently, being pregnant with our first child. All of these events were significant moments of passage —moving into a new stage of life that feels a bit more balanced and perhaps more reflective of those qualities in nature that I mentioned appreciating—trying not to waste anything, and trying to live in a harmonious way that is both rich with an appreciation for life but also reflects a more steady and thoughtful way of being.

MIGHT NIGH is available now on iTunes and CD Baby. Listen to all 12 tracks on Alexa’s Band Camp page

What’s been the most fulfilling part of your musical journey so far? Music has brought me into relationship with so many people and places, from traveling on a shoestring budget and sleeping on floors and couches to waking up in a mountainside inn in Switzerland wondering how I managed to be paid to do what I love. While touring full time ultimately became a pretty exhausting lifestyle for me, I managed to gather so many wild and memorable experiences along the way. I still find ways to cultivate those experiences—playing festivals and shorter tours that work with my university job, and continuing to discover so many deep and personal connections with others through music. I’ve also learned about the benefits of being exposed to new audiences through licensing songs through National Geographic, MTV, the Cartoon Network, and a number of other film and television placements—in general, music has made my world bigger and wilder, and I am grateful for that. Do you have any advice for young women, struggling to balance their creative goals with “real world” demands? I used to struggle with this tension between following my heart or pursuing a more practical path—I really felt that I had to choose one or the other. Over the last year I spent eight months creating what I think is the best album I’ve produced so far while working a full time and incredibly rewarding job in economic development at Clemson University. I have a law degree and three albums under my belt and I don’t say that to boast about accomplishments, but to say that you can be a diverse person with a variety of skills and interests without having to sacrifice any of the important qualities that make you feel fulfilled in life. Real world demands are a part of life. We have to learn how to live and survive in a challenging and changing economy and I think finding the balance in being practical and creative allows us to have more freedom in all aspects of life. There may be times in life that require you to take a leap into the unknown and completely pursue a creative path—but eventually I think the ultimate goal is one of balance. The sooner we come to a place in which creative goals and real world demands are less in tension, I think we are able to live with less restraint and worry. At least, I’ve found that to be true for me.

PHOTOGRAPH BY RENEE COLE

Rainbow Rowell has been having a very good year. Well, couple of years, actually.

PHOTOGRAPH BY AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS

RAINBOW BRIGHT Rainbow Rowell is having a very good year. Well, couple of years, actually. The author was awarded a 2014 Printz Honor for her beloved Young Adult novel, Eleanor & Park, the movie rights of which were picked up by Dreamworks in April. Rowell will be writing the screenplay (which we hope means that there will be at least one Benedict Cumberbatch cameo… perhaps as the school bus driver? Just imagine that curly mop poking out of a blue cap. Sigh.) Her other two novels Attachments and Fangirl, have inspired countless Tumblr posts dedicated to fan art, fan fiction and casting the perfect actors in the movie versions. In addition to the screenplay she is also currently working on a fantasy, and a graphic novel with writer/artist Faith Erin Hicks. Perhaps most exciting of all, Rowell is about to release her fourth novel, Landline. Rowell’s popularity has no doubt stemmed from being one of the most modern authors writing today. She utilizes her social media followings to connect with her readers on their level—reblogging fan art on her Tumblr, cracking endearing jokes about life with her husband Kai and their children on Twitter, and posting almost daily photos of Benedict Cumberbatch in what she has dubbed “The Cumberbatchery.” But Rowell also has a penchant for writing characters that are all at once real, unique, relatable and crazy-charming. “My goal with all my books is to write characters who feel real,” she says. “I want to get inside their heads and stay there.” For her, there’s no difference in approaching a book based on its genre, YA or Adult. “I’m writing with the same intensity and sophistication – or lack of it.” And while all of Rowell’s novels are about love at their core (romantic love, yes, but also familial love, friendship and passions like work, hobbies and, of course, fandom) her female characters never feel one-dimensional. In a climate where so many dystopian heroines are seen strictly through the prism of rebellion, where YA romance novels become more about submission than connection, Rowell is helping to turn the page on old tropes for women in lit. “When I’m writing female characters, I’m just trying to make them real,” she says. “I don’t worry about making them strong. If a character is complex and well developed, they’ll never feel like a prop or a placeholder.” The women that Rowell creates are captivating for their quirks, both in personality and physically. Eleanor of Eleanor & Park happens to be a full-bodied, red-headed and freckled teenager with a knack for standout fashion statements. Cath, of Fangirl, isn’t quite as thin and conventionally attractive as her twin sister Wren, choosing to wear glasses, ponytails and some combination of jeans and t-shirt. The great thing about Rowell, though, is that she embraces characters who aren’t perfectly beautiful, while not berating those who are. Rowell says these decisions are intentional, “I’m definitely rejecting the idea—which I think is present everywhere, not just in YA—that there is a narrow standard for beauty. That readers and viewers are only interested in stories about specific types of beautiful people. I just don’t think that’s true. I know it isn’t true, because I haven’t written any characters that fit those standards.” That same intention follows Rowell throughout her work, all of which is at the same time distinctly hers while being incredibly different from each other. She has somehow managed so far to sidestep being pigeonholed by the publishing world, releasing novels both for teens and adults, exploring different genres and expanding into the world of graphic novels and screenplays. “Part of it is that, once I finish something, I want to try something completely different,” Rowell says. “I feel so done with whatever it is I just finished, and I want a new problem to solve. I’m always drawn to ideas that I’m not sure I can pull off, which is definitely how I feel about my next few projects. The other part of it is that I have an agent and editors who encourage me to follow my heart.” We couldn’t be more excited that Rowell’s heart led her to write Landline, her fourth book and second adult novel which is destined to become a summer favorite when it’s released on July 8.

READ OUR REVIEW ON THE NEXT PAGE! “It’s about a woman whose marriage is in trouble, and she discovers a way to communicate with her husband in the past,” Rowell explains. “Spoiler alert: it’s a magic phone. You just have to trust me when I say it isn’t as silly as it sounds.” The novel is contemporary through and through, but the surreal, almost mythical addition of the “magic” phone adds another layer to the plot that has Rowell’s distinctive stamp of smart and thought-provoking story telling. With Landline, It’s clear that Rowell isn’t planning to slow down any time soon, and book lovers everywhere are gearing up for another great year in the life of Rainbow.

This question is the driving force behind Rainbow Rowell’s fourth novel (her second for adults) Landline, to be released July 8. It tells the story of Georgie McCool, a television comedy writer whose career is on the uptick while her home life is floundering. Her decision to stay in California to work on the pilot for her dream job, rather than follow her husband, Neal and her two young daughters, Alice and Noomi, to his mom’s home in Omaha for Christmas starts off a series of strange events surrounding a landline telephone in her childhood bedroom that makes phone calls to the past—more specifically, to her 22-year-old husband (then her college boyfriend, on the verge of breaking up with her) in 1998, a week that Georgie spent crying over Neal (before he showed up on her doorstep with a ring) and definitely not talking to him on the phone. Or did she? Strange though it may seem, Georgie soon moves past her original inclination to believe she is merely insane (“Possibilities: 1. Persistent hallucination; 2.

LANDLINE

Really long dream (Or maybe normal-length dream, perceived as really long from the inside?); 3. Schizophrenic episode; 4. Unprovoked Somewhere in Time scenario.; 5. Am already dead like on Lost?”) and decides to figure out why she was given this opportunity to reconnect with past Neal in the first place, retaining all of the knowledge her 14-years-in-the-future-self already knows about the state of their relationship. Did something happen that she is supposed to change? Would Neal have been better off without her? Is she supposed to stop him from proposing?

Along the way she discovers things about her husband that she never knew (he was a virgin when they started dating, for instance) and reexamines all of the decisions they made to get here, from their first encounter at the magazine where they both worked, to the party where Georgie found out Neal had a girlfriend, to the morning after, when he broke up with her to be with Georgie, to his unexpected proposal, to their marriage and the subsequent years. Though the book is seen entirely through the prism of Georgie’s marriage, motherhood and career, the questions brought up here are the ones we all ask at some point: the road untraveled (for Georgie, it’s undeniably whether she should have been with her best friend and writing partner, Seth, instead of Neal); what makes a successful life, finding the balance between family and career, and doing all of this as a woman. The novel becomes a bit repetitive in parts (Georgie basically freaks out about her marriage and the landline, calls present-day-Neal incessantly and dodges Seth’s questions and her work throughout the 320 pages) but considering that the entire story is told within the span of five days, it’s easy to understand Georgie’s more obsessive behaviors. Rowell imbues her characters with her trademark sharp wit in the face of realistic struggles, reactions and thoughts and backstories that are only too easy to imagine you might have in the face of the same set of circumstances. This ability to turn her characters into people you might live next door to, go to college with, be best friends with, all while making them so compelling that you can’t stop turning the pages, is what makes Rowell’s books so obsession-worthy. I won’t go into how it all wraps up (the reader gets to hear more about the magic that the landline has provided to Georgie and Neal’s relationship, a truth that Georgie can only guess at) but I will say this: by the time you reach the end of Landline, you are concerned less with the implausibility of magic telephones and more with the big questions, most specifically, living with the choices you’ve made, and living the best life possible within those choices. —KERRI JAREMA

SUMMER READS Viewers of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries web series have been clamoring for more content since the 100th and final episode aired a year ago, and their prayers have finally been answered. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries chronicled Lizzie’s life as a twenty-four-year-old grad student, struggling under a mountain of student loans and living at home with her two sisters—beautiful Jane and reckless Lydia. What may have started as her grad student thesis grew into so much more, as the videos came to inform and reflect her life and that of her sisters. When rich, handsome Bing Lee comes to town, along with his stuck-up friend William Darcy, things really start to get interesting for the Bennets—and for Lizzie’s viewers. Suddenly Lizzie—who always considered herself a fairly normal young woman—was a public figure and YouTube sensation. But not everything happened onscreen. Luckily for us, Lizzie kept a secret diary. We can’t wait to learn more about Lizzie’s private reactions to well-known, and very public, events. More Darcy, please!

Fans of Veronica Roth’s Divergent trilogy will be thrilled by Four: A Divergent Collection, a companion to the series that includes four pre-Divergent short stories, plus three additional scenes from Divergent, all told from Tobias’s perspective. When read together, these long narrative pieces illuminate the defining moments in Tobias's life. The first three pieces in this volume —"The Transfer," "The Initiate," and "The Son"— follow Tobias's transfer from Abnegation to Dauntless, his Dauntless initiation, and the first clues that a foul plan is brewing in the leadership of two factions. The fourth story, "The Traitor," runs parallel with the events of Divergent, giving readers a glimpse into the decisions of loyalty—and love—that Tobias makes in the weeks after he meets Tris Prior. Sure to satisfy readers who were left wanting more after the series ended.

The final installment in Stephanie Perkins’ uber-popular interconnected YA trilogy, Isla and the Happily Ever After follows Isla from the glittering streets of Manhattan to the rooftops of Paris where she is falling in love for easy-going and introspective artist Josh (a fan favorite character who is returning from Anna and the French Kiss.) But as they begin their senior year in France and life after high school creeps closer and closer, Isla and Josh are quickly forced to confront the heartbreaking reality that happily-ever-after isn't always forever. Their romantic journey is skillfully intertwined with those of beloved couples Anna and Étienne of Anna and the French Kiss and Lola and Cricket of Lola and the Boy Next Door, whose paths are destined to collide in a sweeping finale certain to please fans old and new. Though we’re reluctant to say goodbye to the characters we’ve been obsessing over since 2011, we cannot wait to see how Perkins weaves together these three stories. We have a feeling it’s going to be très romantic.

GRAPHICS BY HANNAH BURKETT

Name as many current film critics as you can. Even if you’re not a cinephile, chances are you’ve seen their names glow on the TV screen in tiny type below quotes (often taken out of context) that explain “why you should see Michael Bay Presents Transformers 14!”

At The Movies’ Richard Roeper, New York Magazine’s David Edelstein and Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers are probably the first three that flit across any pop culture connoisseur’s mind. And who could forget Roger Ebert, the king of snarky-but-insightful film criticism, inventor of the thumbs-up rating system and posthumous fixture in any movie fan’s vocabulary and Twitter feed? All of them are good at what they do—they wouldn’t rise to the top of the popcorn box if they weren’t experts in conveying their opinion through their writing. But they have something else in common. They’re all men. A 2013 study from the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego University showed that women made up only 22 percent of top critics on Rotten Tomatoes, a site that compiles film reviews from top media outlets. The gender gap grows when looking at media outlets that solely cover entertainment and film, such as Entertainment Weekly and the century-old Variety, where 91 percent of critics are men. But once away from the niche world of entertainment journalism, mainstream news seems to be doing something right. The top four most -read newspapers each have a female critic in a leadership position. (See “Meet the Critics,” pg. 33) Pulitzer Prize winner Dorothy Rabinowitz is a critic fixture at the Wall Street Journal, the most subscribed-to newspaper in the country. She writes criticism (and has since starting at the paper in 1990), runs the Best Books column and serves on the editorial board. “Maybe there’s some kind of unacknowledged sense that we shouldn’t be an all-male stronghold,” she says of the Wall Street Journal’s board, where 8 of the 21 members are women. “It’s not anything that’s programmed.” Rabinowitz says she didn’t know women were so underrepresented in the critic community, let alone why, although that question was the one that most intrigued her. “It’s not easy to prove that there’s a prejudice against women reviewers,” she said. “The question is why do you find so few women? An accident? Possibly. Women’s preference? Possibly. Maybe a lot of women don’t feel like they want authority to tell people what to do.” Rabinowitz has visited university journalism classes where she said that, although 95 percent of the students were women, a majority of them weren’t interested in reporting and writing. “They wanted to be journalists on TV reading the news,” she says. “They wanted to be Katie Couric. That has to tell you something.” But a quick Google search debunks the idea that women don’t have the interest or ambition. They may not be found in the classrooms Rabinowitz cites, but they can be found contributing to smaller websites and running their own blogs. Some of them have even formed organizations. The Women’s Film Critic Circle, for instance, is a group of 64 aspiring female critics and scholars involved in print, broadcast and web journalism. WFCC members range from the experienced to the aspiring. One member, Edie Nugent, is trying to zap some voltage into her up-andcoming career as a critic. She says she has to fight her way onto a screening list in order to preview films for Weird Tales Magazine, where she is a contributing editor trying to start a horror and sci-fi film review section. For Nugent, the lack of female critics is linked to the patriarchal film industry. “It's a male dominated business, so obviously men will be the ones writing about it the most,” she writes in an email. “Film seems, by and large, to be something that men make and women watch.” The Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film released its annual Celluloid Ceiling report in January, showing that this is indeed the case—women were less likely to have a hand in writing, producing and directing films in 2014 than they were in 1998. Meanwhile, a demographics report published by the Motion Picture Association of America in March showed women bought 50 percent of movie tickets in 2013. “I don’t think it’s an intellectual discrimination,” emails another WFCC member, Chiara Spagnoli Gabardi. “It’s rather a sociological legacy that we are trying to change day by day.” One of those days was March 31—Alison Willmore’s first day at Buzzfeed.com. She is the first film critic hired by the 42nd most viewed website in America (according to Amazon’s web ranking site Alexa) and the average millennial’s go-to for procrastination fodder. Jace Lacob, Buzzfeed’s Entertainment Editorial Director, said that hiring Willmore fit in with the site’s vision to be a progressive media outlet that pushes the boundaries of traditional journalism. “The prevailing notion is that critics typically tend to be white, male and middle-aged,” he writes in an email. “Alison's incisive, analytical criticism—which offers a fresh perspective from someone who doesn't fit into that narrow rubric—will hopefully spark conversation by not adhering to ingrained traditions and modes of thinking.”

Willmore’s background in criticism stemmed from a role at the Independent Film Channel, where she worked for six years before freelancing for publications such as The AV Club, Timeout New York and Movieline. Most of the critics she read growing up were men, and she says that maybe one of the reasons for a disproportionate number of women in the industry is that people tend to hire others who are just like them. White men continue to hire white men. “It’s not just unfair,” she says. “It creates a very narrow window.” Presumably, more male critics means more male-focused films get made and marketed to wide audiences. Although few male critics emphasize a gender-biased view—a major exception being Rex Reed, who is infamous for devoting full film reviews to fat-shaming actresses such as Melissa McCarthy—they subconsciously perpetuate what feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey called “the male gaze” in her 1975 essay, “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.” And the industry rewards that by creating more of the same. Only 15 of the top 100 films in 2013 had female protagonists, according to another report by San Diego State’s researchers. But the 2013 critics study also looked at whether gender played a role in which films reviewers critique. Although there is some evidence to support the idea that men are more attracted to films directed by and starring men while women gravitate toward female-led pictures, there was no clear indication that this distorts how each gender reviews films made by the same or opposite sex. “When you have a particularly uniform group of people who are dominating the discussion in terms of what is good, what is worthy, what is quality, it inevitably tends to get skewed in one direction,” Willmore says. Willmore refers to the Internet Movie Database’s user-voted “Top 250,” which she says is a perfect example of men being louder than women in rating movies. To her, many of the films on the list are worthy of such accolades while more women-focused films with just as much clout are totally forgotten. The list may not be compiled by critics themselves, but it definitely acts as evidence to how male-centric criticism has formed audiences opinions of what constitutes the best cinema. “Films are so powerful, they get inside your head,” Nugent writes. “They become scripts in our minds that we repeat and attach to our own lives. I think if more women were made aware of how that functions—with strong female voices drawing their attention to patterns and tropes—women would demand entertainment that better represents the broad spectrum of, well, broads.”

viewpoints of racial minorities, people with disabilities and LGBTQ individuals, proving that web is the home of inclusive comedy that television just isn’t ready for.

MARIA BLASUCCI AND AMANDA LUND IN GHOST GHIRLS

In bypassing Hollywood's structured institution of television production, the women of web series are able to worry less about getting permission, following rules and fighting sexism. Instead, they can put all of their creative energy into telling stories, many of which touch on deeply personal subject matter (embarrassing sex and struggles with prejudice, anyone?) that reach out to a very specific and dedicated audience. Furthermore, these women always retain a commitment to bringing something new— something that matters and that isn't being seen elsewhere—to TV culture.

Take web series East WillyB, cocreated and executive produced by star Julia Ahumada Grob, which features a cast of Latino characters of all shapes, sizes and ages. Telling the stories of gentrification in Bushwick, Brooklyn (dubbed East Williamsburg in an effort by realtors to sell the neighborhood, traditionally known as crime-heavy, to new, often White, tenants) the show features singing, fighting, loving and everything in between. Not only does East WillyB tell a story that a massive portion of the American population can relate to, it does so without the Imagine this: every television network has a team of people dedi- stereotypical portrayal of Latino culture that is often seen on netcated to finding the next Tina Fey (or, at the slightly edgier network television. works, the next Lena Dunham); the next female powerhouse who Then there is Teal Sherer’s My Gimpy Life. The series explores the has the kind of talent, charisma and chutzpah they can really build a prejudices, exploitation and condescension that the disabled face show on. daily. These imaginary people sit around a table into the wee hours, drinking too much coffee and wracking their brains, the walls behind them lined with white boards, names frantically scribbled and circled and crossed out. They're looking for the next big woman to shake up TV comedy.

Sherer asks people to re-examine their assumptions about disabilities, but she does so in such a fun and self-deprecating way that it never sounds like preaching; just like damn good comedy. Sherer's goal with My Gimpy Life is to represent people who deserve a voice in television, but who aren't getting one.

As much as we wish this fantasy team dedicated to finding the next “As a disability advocate,” says Sherer, “I want to share my perspec"funny femme" actually existed, comedy TV is still mostly a man's tive and broaden people’s minds. Disabled people are out in the real game. And for every Tina Fey, Amy Poehler or Mindy Kaling, there world, but we’re underrepresented in films and on TV. I want proare countless other men making it in lieu of women. ducers and casting people to consider disabled actors for any role, But there is hope. Rather than continue to struggle to make it in not just ones that are written as disabled characters. It’s so imtraditional comedy television, many women are heading online to portant to have people in the media that you can relate and connect to.” make their own opportunities in digital TV. Through online video sharing and streaming sites, female creators, screenwriters, directors, producers and actors are telling exciting stories from viewpoints that Hollywood tends to marginalize—not only sharing their own experiences as women but exploring the

Another marginalized demographic that's flourishing in web series is a group that has been perhaps inelegantly titled “the uncool LGBTQ” set. While lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender characters and storylines gain more attention on network shows like

FOX’s Glee and HBO’s Looking, the focus still remains squarely on the young, hip and impossibly beautiful. Meanwhile, on the web, women like Ingrid Jungermann and Amy York Rubin are telling the less glamorous (read: more realistic) stories of LGBTQ life. For Rubin, the game is all about celebrating life's wonderfully awkward and painfully relatable moments in a way that feels authentic.

of concept, the political back-and-forth with executives and all the spoken and unspoken rules to follow before you even go so far as to make that first exploratory contact can stop creators before they’ve even begun. If you hear back at all from a network, what you hear will probably be a “no.” But as Aranoff so blithely puts it, with digital content, “the only person you have to wait for a yes from is yourself.”

For Jungermann, the act of bringing verisimilitude to lesbian story- When it comes down to it, many women creators get into digital lines also has everything to do with relatability—most notable in the content because it feels like the only option, which is hard to beage of her characters. lieve considering they're bringing us some of the most exciting, hilarious, and emotionally brave content out there. Even Jack She's dubious about traditional television's interest in LGBTQ peo- Black's main gals, Lund and Blasucci, fell into this camp before they ple past a certain age saying, “I don’t know if networks or cable are got hooked up with Black's production company. ready for a lesbian show about a gay lady approaching 40.” “We started writing and making web shorts because we couldn't th But she's used her two web series, The Slope and F to the 7 , to get any auditions,” says Lund. “It was kind of a last resort that we also really enjoyed.” represent a broader range of gay characters. While networks continue to employ mustachioed hipsters and Naya Rivera-lookalikes With self-directed digital content, the “yes’s and “no’s and rules of in gay and lesbian roles, women like Rubin and Jungermann cast a Hollywood are moot, fostering an environment that's a lot more comfortable to many creatives. refreshingly matter-of-fact (and touchingly amusing) light on Jungermann remarks that, “the web series form is perfect for peoLGBTQ culture. ple who are comfortable making their own rules.” Many of the On the lighter, though no less meaningful, side of women bringing women in web series are excited about finally being able to do their innovative comedy to digital television are series like Ghost Ghirls own thing, playing by their own rules. and Seeking the Web Series. The women behind (and starring in) “Seeking is on my terms and I’m really proud of that,” says Aranoff. these shows each bring their own exciting additions to TV culture. When Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci co-wrote, executive pro- Jungermann's personal tactic for making content (which seems like duced and co-starred in Ghost Ghirls for Yahoo! Screen, they something that applies to many web series creators) is to “reshape brought a whole new genre of comedy to the table: the ghost ideas in a way I can understand them, rely on humility and honesty hunter spoof. Their deadpan delivery, sharp dialogue, and seamless and hope that whatever I put out there will be understood.” A derapport with impressive guest stars like Molly Shannon and Bob cidedly more zen approach to content creation than you would find Odenkirk shot this Jack Black co-production to viral fame and made from any network executive. many wonder how something like it had never been done before.

The digital realm is not only a creatively fulfilling place for writers With her own series, Seeking, up-and-comer Ronit Aranoff is also and producers, but for whole casts and crews. The deeper sense of bringing something undeniably refreshing to comedy by updating ownership and creative control that comes with going independent and digital can also lead to a greater sense of community for everythe stale genre of rom-coms through crowdsourcing. one on set. According to Grob, the set of East WillyB really felt this She wanted to tell what she calls “real life dating stories” by pulling impact. from strangers' lives; to make an engaging comedy by using stories that literally happened to real, live people—and not just the oft- “There was a real family, community energy to the series,” she says. “Everyone felt like they were contributing to something very spebland fictional people whose stories you're used to hearing. cial, a series that was unlike anything that ever existed before, so “I was tired of watching shows that told stories of a very small cross they gave everything to [it].” -section of the population,” says Aranoff, “So I decided to ask everyone across age, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic background, [and] Rubin also experienced the innate sense of community that comes religion what their dating experiences were. We’re so proud that with independent productions on the set of Little Horribles. it’s a show about everyone’s story.” Because of this deeply human “Anything indie—which is more the defining factor than it being for framework, Seeking never feels contrived. Even when the story- web or TV—[is] a really collaborative environment,” she says. lines are silly, it somehow manages to make the silliness ring true— “There's no client, no studio—it's just about making something evefreaky Confederate hipsters and all. ryone feels good about.” And that's something viewers can in turn The individual reasons women head online to exert their creative feel good about, too. energy may vary, but they usually fall into two broad categories: Of course, for every benefit of going digital, there's a corollary negaccessibility and creative freedom. ative aspect; nothing as beautiful as creative control and freedom The most obvious benefit of going digital (as every film school stu- of expression comes without a cost. While digital content is includent with a sock puppet and a borrowed Handycam knows) is the sive, democratic, and exhilarating in its endless possibilities, it's also low barrier for entry. Anyone who can rent a camera and sign up for unstable. Web series are rarely lucrative and the format is still a YouTube account is free to start a show—though, of course, it struggling to gain the recognition it deserves from advertisers and helps if you’ve got something interesting to say. The lower barrier TV's power players. of entry for web series has a lot to do with money, of course, but it “I think the web is a great place to explore your creative voice, exalso has to do with rules and permission. periment artistically, learn, and show 'proof of concept' of what you Making a network TV show is one giant rule-following, permission- are capable of,” says Grob. “It's a very hard place to make money, seeking party. The process of how to submit spec scripts and proofs though. That is the largest challenge indie creators face.”

Money continues to be a big issue for web series producers, even as the medium gains popularity among viewers and consideration among critics. Sure, web series are easier to make on the cheap than a multi-cam sitcom, but there's still the need for capital to get that Handycam recording. The trouble with digital content and the almighty dollar isn't just a concern for starving artists who need to pay their rent, either; it's also something viewers should be worried about. As Jungermann is quick to caution, “No matter what anyone says, making work without enough money is detrimental to creativity.” But as the struggles increase for these women, so do the rewards, which is what will keep the creative juices flowing through the web series genre for as long into the future as people have stories to tell. Lund puts it most eloquently when she remarks that holding all the creative power on a series is “way more rewarding... You just have this adrenaline kick when you're super passionate about a project. Like when a mother lifts a car up because her child is stuck under it. It's exactly like that.” In a way, though, all the common limits of web series are also a big part of what make them so special. A tiny budget, low space allotments, and limited mobility of a production can lead to appealingly intimate results. As creators like Jungermann have no choice but to “keep it small and focus on characters and writing,” viewers get the benefit of seeing thoughtful, tightly written, and carefully pared down episodes that encompass only what they really need to. Nothing is stretched to fill time or cut down to allow for commercial breaks. Things just are the way they need to be, with a compelling story front and center. It's a refreshing departure from bombastic network shows with their extraneous sets and scene-stealing CGI. In contrast, an episode of a web series that takes place exclusively in someone's living room—but that feels as emotionally grand as any pearl-clutching scene from Game of Thrones—feels fresh.

JULIA GROB

And that freshness is leading to great strides for women in content creation. Issa Rae, unofficial queen of the web series genre, has built a digital content empire for herself, proving that it is possible to have a career in web content as a female minority. And though it feels a little bit like saying every computer science major has the ability to be the next Mark Zuckerberg (not quite realistic) the inclusivity of the space will continue to foster creative growth— and the hope is that financial sustainability isn’t too far off. Rae, creator and star of Awkward Black Girl, believes this is the case. “The corporate world has started to embrace digital content in a major way,” Rae says. “Companies and networks alike are scrambling to try to figure out the digital world and advertisers are putting out a lot more money toward digital content than they were before. The first web series I took seriously (Fly Guys present The 'F' Word) was back in 2009, and I remember asking a colleague about trying to get sponsorships and hopefully taking the series to television. She told me nobody was checking for the web, and that there was no money there. She said my best bet was to go the traditional route. That was only five years ago and things have done a 180.”

AMY YORK RUBIN

Hollywood's gender and diversity gaps, both in front of and behind the camera, narrow year by year. And though the stats have a long way to go before they're anything close to equal, it’s not unreasonable to question how much longer network executives can ignore all of the incredibly talented women out there (though Comedy Central's adoption of Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer's web series, Broad City, was a step in the right direction.) As much as this is about feminism and equality and fairly recognizing talent where recognition is due (“It shouldn’t be a newsflash in 2014 that we are hilarious!” jokes Aranoff), the truth is that traditional TV production is largely about money—and good talent and good content lead to good money. Perhaps this will come as digital content continues to gain respect and raise its profile with critics and the general viewing public. Lund agrees, “I think digital content and traditional TV are eventually going to be indistinguishable. Digital content is now equal to, if not far beyond, the quality of TV. Shows that Netflix does like Orange is the New Black and House of Cards are better than most shows on TV.”

36 RONIT ARANOFF

Rubin's also optimistic that the distinction between digital and traditional television is on the way out. She says, bluntly, “It's all just content.” If the critics are behind it, and the creators, screenwriters, and actors are behind it, then digital content is well on its way. As frustrating as it can be for creatives trying to make their voices heard online (according to Grob, to sustain a web series financially you need to aim for at least 100,000 views per episode—no small feat), the tides are indeed changing. Maybe the eventual financial success of web series will rely on the continued expansion of streaming services like Netflix, Hulu, AmaTEAL SHERER IN MY GIMPY LIFE zon Prime, and Ghost Ghirls' home base Yahoo! Screen. The global takeover of these services does seem kind of impending. Netflix's subscribership gains points each year while HBO's and Amazon Prime's original content gets sharper and more critically acclaimed with each new pilot season. Techno-financial wizards are working on new ways to eek dollars out of online video, and general awareness about the high quality of web content continues to grow. Perhaps in ten years' time, it'll be possible for new digital content creators to skip the aspiration of traditional television altogether and spend their time appealing to the likes of Reed Hastings instead of Richard Plepler. In the meantime, these women’s work is smart, hilarious and often brave, and it’s going to shape the TV landscape of the future in big ways. These are the women the networks need to watch.

BOHO BEACH BASH

Oh how we love summer! It’s full of easy days spent soaking up the sun, enjoying time with good friends, pool parties, vacation, and sun-kissed skin. One of our favorite things to do during this time of year is to grab some friends and host a dinner party al fresco. The best place for a beach bash is anywhere with a view of the water, or right on the beach if you can! While a pretty dinner party may sound complicated, this bohemian-inspired, summer soiree is very simple to put together, leaving you plenty of time to soak up the last rays of sun as you watch the sunset. Here’s your go-to handbook for hosting your own summer party!

DECORATE We love the idea of playing with color and infusing a little free-spirited, boho feel to the decor of a beach bash, so inspired by the two, choose a color palate in shades of green, cobalt, and aqua. Instead of a traditional place setting, things got a beachy, island vibe with some woven place mats and dark wicker drink holders, and swap out a tablecloth for a beach blanket. When you’re going to the beach, it’s best to keep things simple and multi-purpose so you don’t have to lug a lot of things out there, so use the fresh fruit as part of the “table decor” as well as for snacking, and interspersed a few small lanterns in soft cream to give a little light as the sun set. Individual bowls at each guest’s spot made for easy serving and guests could choose from a buffet of different finger foods, perfect for a lazy afternoon that turns into evening on the beach. Remember to bring along a small garbage bag for easy and fuss-free clean up afterwards!

DRESS Beach parties are the perfect excuse to bring out the breezy, bohemian style, and it’s such fun for your guests to participate in dressing the part! Colorful bathing suits, maxi dresses, layered up jewels, long earrings, and flowing tops paired with shorts make for comfortable and free-spirited ensembles. Summer is also a great time to try out new braided hairstyles and to rock loose, mermaid waves. For a simple DIY beach-inspired ‘do, combine a bit of sea salt with some water and spritz on semi-damp hair. Let your hair dry naturally and then touch up any ends or pieces with a curling wand. Voila!, Mermaid hair achieved.

EAT When things heat up, the last thing you want is a heavy meal, or things that could melt in the sun. Choose your menu according to the time of day that you’re hosting your party, and always check with your guests to ensure that any special dietary needs are accounted for. Since this was an afternoon of fun by the sea, I decided that an array of different snack foods was best, accompanied by a flavorful quinoa salad. Check with your local grocery store and pick up some of the fresh fruits in season to ensure the best and sweetest taste! Strawberries, orange slices and large juicy wedges of watermelon all looked delicious and were perfect for the warm afternoon! In addition to the fruit, some delicate and crispy coconut cookies were a delightful, tropical compliment. Hydration is key in the soaring temperatures, and guests were greeted with a cold, sparkling water in flavors like Pink Grapefruit and Blueberry Lemon. Serve fun, fizzy drinks like a sparkling flavored water or lemonade as a peppy addition to the menu! If your local gourmet market has a delicious and colorful quinoa salad, for convenience sake, you can choose to pick some up on the way to the beach, but if you’d like to create your own, it’s easy and fun to experiment with adding some freshly chopped veggies and dried fruits to your quinoa for added flavor. As the late afternoon light slowly fades to evening’s glow and sparkles upon the water, enjoy the laughter, mingling conversation, and don’t forget to play in the waves a little! Enjoy summer’s easy, peaceful days, the company of good friends, the sound of the sea, and celebrate this beautiful season! Cheers!

STYLED BY CANDICE HENRY

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ASHLEY HOLSTEIN MODELS: CANDICE, LAUREN, LAWSON, OLIVIA 43

For 55 minutes, I thought of little else but the simple instruction “tuck, tuck under.” On the barre, on the mat, with weights in hand or an exercise ball secured under my burning butt cheek – Pure Barre is all about pushing your own body to its limits, and working deep within each exercise to achieve results.

“I was so embarrassed that my thighs were shaking,” Cleary tells me of her first Pure Barre class. “Until I realized that was the whole point.” That was two and a half years ago, when co-owners Kaitlin Vandura and Leslie Coakley first brought Pure Barre to New York City.

The more you tuck, the deeper you tuck, the faster you can change your body. That’s the Pure Barre promise.

“There was no way I could [go] without Pure Barre,” Vandura says of her move from North Carolina, and the transition from teacher to owner. “Pure Barre is so much more than a workout – it’s a lifestyle.”

It’s a mild Saturday morning, and I’m ruminating on instructor Meaghan Cleary’s advice as I prepare for my first Pure Barre class. “It’s a smaller range of motion,” Cleary says of the exercises. “It might seem like no one is even moving at times – but they are. You’ll look around and see the silent pain.” Of course, Cleary says it with an energy and enthusiasm that few people possess – especially at 9 AM. I watch as women file into the brightly-lit studio and claim spaces on the carpeted floor with the essential equipment: a light set of weights; two interconnected resistance tubes; a small red ball stamped with the iconic Pure Barre logo. I notice that most of us are sporting black athletic leggings, with some combination of black or pink exercise top. I’m no exception. Cleary, donning her own black-paneled pants and tank, has observed the same thing. “Everyone’s very pink today,” she says. The quiet studio is punctuated by a few sleepy chuckles. That we’ve all unknowingly slipped into complementary uniforms is not surprising. Pure Barre has achieved cult status amongst women, and grown a community of more than 200 studios nationwide as of this February. “Exercise can be intimidating,” Cleary tells me as we discuss the phenomenon, explaining how Pure Barre has become a safe and powerful sorority where women can workout together for motivation. “There is a wonderful sense of camaraderie and support.” Not that men aren’t welcome – but Pure Barre classes are typically a majority women. After all, the fitness method for enhancing core strength and flexibility is attributed first to European ballerina Lotte Berk. When she premiered her ballet barre-based exercise class in the 1950’s, the studio was open exclusively to women. When class starts, everyone in the room springs into action – there is no time for slow unfurling of bodies or easy morning stretches. We are lifting our knees, dropping into planks, and kicking to an energetic remix in which Beyoncé makes more than one appearance. It’s only the warm-up, but my legs are already trembling with fatigue and my bangs have worked themselves into a goofy curl affixed to my forehead. Ask any Pure Barre diehard, however, and they’ll say the intense muscle fatigue that causes your thighs to quake is the best sign your body can give.

Whatever our individual intentions, it’s the workout we all got out of bed for this morning, and it’s the workout that has us glistening with sweat while we press our thighs back in an escalating sequence of deep and deeper pliés. It’s here, at the barre, while simultaneously dipping low and lifting higher into relevé, that my legs are really shuddering. After wincing through the arms section (non-stop repetitions designed to sculpt the arms despite the light weights) we are in the thick of the workout. Throughout the hour, Cleary toggles between instructive explanations of each exercise, and her personal repertoire of encouragements. She asks the class to “wake up into our bodies,” while adjusting my hips into correct alignment. In order to get the benefits of Pure Barre, I need to be properly tucked. I can’t imagine anyone hasn’t woken up yet, although a few veterans are staring tight-lipped at their reflections: what must be a mask of the silent pain Cleary had foreshadowed. As we work through the signature six sections, the isometric movements maintain their intensity. We press our legs back and up to tone our glutes, and later, define our abdominals with a series I recognize from my years of Pilates. Most of the movements taught in Pure Barre are easy to replicate, although the “seat work” section has me struggling a bit with my resistance bands. I lose a repetition or two until Cleary helps me settle into the proper alignment. It’s clear that Pure Barre goes beyond fitness. No matter how many hours I spend at the gym a week, the program is targeting underused, hard-to-find muscles in a way I could not have done without such precise movements and hands-on direction. What’s more, Pure Barre is an exercise in concentration and inner resilience. You could easily go through the motions and walk out without ever perspiring. There is no conveyer belt to tug you along. Only the instructor’s motivation, and your personal desire to advance yourself physically and mentally. Ultimately, the exercises are only as effective as your willingness to put forth the effort. “Every individual has that untapped potential,” Cleary says with confidence. “I always want to push my clients to find that strength, and that power.”

Unlike many barre-style classes, Pure Barre doesn’t offer different levels. “We want each client to be open to the workout and work where they feel comfortable, Cleary explains. “Whatever your fitness level, Pure Barre is going to nurture your strongest self, mind, and body.” As the hour draws to a close, Cleary dims the lights and lowers the music for the cool down. We lengthen our exhausted muscles with side bends and stretches: twenty tired bodies extended in a diverse display of flexibility and fitness. There is no judgment, or competition. Just relief. I already feel stronger and leaner – lifted up in so many ways. The following morning, my limbs are sore and tired – secondary muscles that had been awoken from many years of neglect. To be sure, it’s a huge part of what has made Pure Barre so extraordinarily popular. If you’re working hard, you’ll see results, without resorting to strenuous, high-impact alternatives that can leave you too tired to exercise the following day. But most importantly, everyone is welcome, whether you’re an ex-ballerina, an active individual, or just beginning your foray into fitness. There are no exclusions, no minimum requirements, and their Pure Barre sticky socks are one size fits all.

Want to try barre without committing to a single studio? These three health clubs offer their own versions of the barre experience, as well as other classes and wellness facilities.

At the cardio end of the barre spectrum, VBarre combines elements of ballet and pilates with resistance bands, a ball, the bar, and a glide board. Unlike other barre classes, sliding on the glide board is fundamental to keeping up heart rate between sections. The unique lateral movement is low-impact, and targets the hard to reach inner and outer thigh muscles.

In this national fitness center’s version of barre, students are freed from the wall, and instead balance on a personal weighted body bar. Yoga is also more prevalent in the choreography, providing an option that is arguably more accessible to people unfamiliar with, or intimidated by, the ballet component of traditional barre classes.

If the gym-scene isn’t for you, retreat to this mind-body spa and studio. Perhaps the most similar to Pure Barre, you’ll hold postures – and maybe even your breath – until your instructor reminds you to relax and exhale. Locations range from Los Angeles to Boston, and even Turks & Caicos. In May, Exhale will welcome their 22nd location to New York City’s bustling Flatiron district.

GIRL LIKE US

up to the final Harry Potter book, or talking about how stressed I was about school. The thing I still love about YouTube is that the London, England website still makes it so easy to just take part. If you have a webcam or a camera you can make videos. The fact that YouTube itself is Vlogger, Writer; Personal Assistant to New free to use is incredible, and certainly something I think a lot of us York Times Bestselling author, John Green take for granted. The quality of (the bulk of the) conversation that goes on in the comments of my videos has certainly exceeded my Rosianna Halse Rojas is one of those people that seem to be conexpectations and I care a lot about the people watching my videos stantly moving at the speed of light, buoying everyone around them in a way that I guess I didn't anticipate I would when I started makwith the same sort of energy and go-getter attitude that propels ing videos. So I think I've been most impressed by the potential for her forward. authentic creator/viewer relationships. Not only does she work with John Green, one of the world’s most When I turned sixteen years old I got my first proper well-known, beloved and successful authors and internet personaljob (not that babysitting isn't a proper job, but like, you don't get ities currently working today, she has a loyal following of her own pay slips) at the specialist children's bookshop I'd gone to every on the YouTube channel she has been running for the past eight years, where she discusses everything from feminism (she created weekend growing up. The Lion and Unicorn Bookshop was where the popular Ladies Survey, in an effort to broaden the discussion I'd queued up for Harry Potter books, where I'd found my favorite about the hardships women in media and content creation face picture books, where the staff told me about a new debut novel by both online and off) to the books and films she loves, vegan recipes some US author named John Green…. I worked weekends (and weekdays in summer) at the Lion and Unicorn for five years. A year and life in London. or so after I worked my last shift, the bookshop closed down beIn her spare time she also writes (she was recently published in the cause of ridiculous rent hikes and the inability to match Amazon graduate version of Sheryl Sandberg’s wildly popular Lean In), runs discounts. I felt like through the video blog I had even more responan online shop featuring prints she’s made and collaborates with sibility to show the importance of booksellers, independent other YouTubers—and is an inspiration to motivated and multitask- bookshops and specialist recommendations. But then also, more ing women everywhere. generally, I'm always desperate to talk about a book I really loved I started making YouTube videos in reading and the more people who have read it, the more I can talk 2006 when it seemed like absolutely everyone in the world was about it with them!

Rosianna Halse Rojas, 22

waiting for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to be released. In those early days of YouTube, a huge percentage of the content was Harry Potter related. I saw all of these conversations going on through vlogs and I just wanted to be part of it all. Most of my early videos were just eight or nine minutes of me talking about the run

The biggest thing I took from the first Ladies Survey was a strange and sad validation: the abuse women face online—in particular its sexual and violent nature—is real, and it wasn't me being overly sensitive or overly reactionary. I also have gained so many great recommendations for books, movies, sports

women, musicians etc. Part of the reason why I asked people to talk about their favorite female creators in all fields was so that viewers could get great recommendations, but the other big part of that was to prompt people to think about their habits of consumption, and being aware of in what aspects of their lives they're subconsciously privileging the creative voices of men over the creative voices of women. I'm a huge believer in that "vote with your wallet" mentality. Within a consumer culture we have to pay attention to what it is we're supporting with our money and our time. The discussion is so important to me because—online and offline—I see female creators discouraged from pursuing their ambitions because of the fear of the way they'll be treated. I hear stories from so many women about their stalkers, or the casual way people around them joke about violence against women, demean them, or declare that we’re in an age of post-feminism where we've achieved total equality, when the reality is so different. I do have plans to continue this discussion! For now they are mostly secret plans, but it's worth mentioning that the third annual #womenonyoutube panel (co-founded with fellow YouTuber Lex Croucher) will be taking place at VidCon 2014 (June 26-June 28) and I will also be moderating the Fighting Sexism on YouTube industry day panel.

Keeping everything from falling apart is certainly part of my job! There is so much to love about my job, starting with its flexibility, getting to work with one of my closest friends, and working on so many different projects. A lot of it is organizational: prioritizing John's emails, coordinating with the publicists at Penguin and Fox to manage his schedule, making many a phone call, etc. But then I also project manage, manage the AFC Wimbledon sponsorship, manage partnerships related to the various educational channels John produces, conduct research, Photoshop things for John's Vlogbrothers videos… basically, a lot! I'm such a fan of jobs that strongly rely on organization and hustle, so this is kind of the dream.

when I was six or seven and totally inhaling Nancy Drew books that I wanted to be an author, work for MI5, train to be an astronaut and be a popstar. Even when adults around me tried to make me pick one, I flat out refused. I get a lot of joy from work and I also find it a great space to be social, so with (as Mary Oliver called it) "my one precious life" I am motivated to create as much joy for myself as I can. Now I've sort of formalized that multiple-job structure by being self employed and contracting/freelancing to John and others. It's very liberating. My favorite thing about Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In is the section where she talks about seeing careers as a jungle gym, not a ladder, and I think that's the analogy I was looking for this entire time. As for why I've acted against that [ladder mentality], the expectations that were placed on me by my extended family, my school and so on always adhered to a rigid career structure and that just seemed so archaic. I didn't see myself excelling in that structure, nor did I see myself happy in that structure. From the outset of starting my job with John he made it clear that he wanted me to work structured hours and he's very anti-work-on -weekends. On top of that I only work four days a week for John and my day starts just before noon because of time difference. That way, I have my mornings and a three day weekend to work on all of

my other projects. I think if you love what you're doing you can always make time. If you're super busy in your "main job,” your personal creative projects and passion projects might take a little longer to complete but you should be patient and be good to yourself, and you'll get it done. John is so supportive of my goals and development, though, and he's the first person to point out when I'm doubting myself or being unkind or unfair to myself.

My advice to young women who have important day jobs but want to pursue other projects and goals at the same time is to prioritize self care. You can do the most when you're looking after yourself. You can achieve your goals most effectively when you're kind to yourself. Other than that: plan, plan, plan! Set yourself deadlines, write a brief for your projects, work on monthly and yearly goals Seeing the growth of John's readership and viewership, especially but don't get frustrated with yourself if you don't meet them. Perwith the [The Fault in our Stars] film coming out, has been very ex- severe! You can do it. I believe in you, for one. citing and very alarming at the same time! I'm so proud of him and There are many secret projects up my sleeve very glad that more people than ever are discovering his work and recognizing his achievements, But yes, it's a little strange that he's but in general I just want to forge on with everything I'm doing. I suddenly become this buzzword in popular culture and friends have so many ideas for new videos and new designs and new travel from primary school are all of a sudden getting in contact with me but it's just about finding the time! to rave about the fact that I work for John. Honestly, I think that's my constant struggle, but it's a good probI was always someone who wanted to lem to have. Between the sunshine and VidCon, summer is probado twenty different things at once, to a fault. I remember saying bly my most creative time so who knows what I'll come up with.

DECISIONS , DECISIONS...

ONE BIG PHOTO

This September marks five years of bigdecision making in my life. This anniversary is notable because I have always been tormented by making big decisions. And here I am: a survivor. Five years ago, I was finishing up college. I was born and raised in Oklahoma, and at the time living the furthest from my parents I had ever lived—forty five minutes. But like many of my generation, I was afflicted with wanderlust and knew enough about the places I had been to feel deeply connected to Washington, D.C. I interviewed for a couple jobs directly following graduation, one of which I suddenly wanted more than anything else in the world: an entry level position working for a U.S. Senator in Washington, D.C. I had been heavily involved in politics throughout college and thought I wanted to enter that world. I was offered the job. While I was ecstatic when I got the news, I still found myself pacing the hallway outside my childhood bedroom shortly after I got the call. Soon, another emotion began to overwhelm me, and it felt a lot like doubt. This was my first big decision after graduation—a decision that many bright-eyed college grads had made before me. I told myself this was everything I wanted until I reached the end of the hall. And as I turned to repeat my walk in the other direction, I told myself what I really needed was to learn to be content. I did not dislike living in Oklahoma at all. On the contrary, I had friends and family there, along with the promise of affordable rent and great cost of living in the state FORBES.com had labeled “most recessionproof”. Was it foolish to risk being poor and lonely in a place I had only visited? What I had was good, and how could I be sure the

unknown was better? I didn’t want to be enticed only to find out it was all for nothing. I saw the decision before me like the red and blue pill, and I didn’t want to make the wrong choice. In the end, I packed two suitcases and bought a one way ticket. Two years after the move, I had shed a layer of skin, and morphed into someone slightly altered. I made strong friendships and gained a great deal of experience working on the Hill, but left in frustration and tears. Politics was not what I wanted for my life, and I knew that now without a doubt. Surprisingly, however, I wasn’t regretting my decision. There was so much more to my life on the East Coast than my job. In those two years, I met the man I would marry. He was not like anyone else I had ever met, and he made me feel like I was home, half way across the country. When my brief career in politics ended I began working in the private sector for a company I liked but a job I was unsure of. I ended up liking the job more than I thought I would. When I think about my former self pacing that hallway, I don’t envy that girl. But she taught me a lesson. My former self laid the groundwork for learning the truth about decisions: doubt really doesn’t have much to do with the outcome. While conviction is helpful, it doesn’t always come when you need it. While my career in politics turned out to be something I was not expecting, I certainly don’t view that phase of my life as a mistake. Marriage is harder than I thought it would be, but also better. My doubts about my new job turned out in a surprising way as well. As it turns out, making decisions

doesn’t decide as much as we think. As I grow older, I have learned to focus less on making the ever elusive “right” decision, and place more emphasis on making good decisions. Maybe they are one in the same, but breaking them down into good and bad makes them easier to digest. If you are willing to do it, if there are enough pros, no blaring red flags, then commit to it. My doubts about the decisions I have made in the past few years have all spawned from a fear of making the wrong one. But there was no need to worry. To doubt is human, but deciding your fate is not. In The Fellowship of the Rings, Gandalf says to Frodo who is lamenting his calling, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” A simple reminder that decisions are deceptive: the present is all we have. Now, five years after my move away from home, my husband and I are making plans to move back. Was it the right decision to move to D.C.? I don’t ever worry about that now. There is no doubt in my mind that my first big decision, the one that was the catalyst for all the rest, was a good one—a great one. I am so grateful for my life in D.C. And as the latest big decision brings me full circle, back to where I came from, I am less daunted even if there is a small murmur of doubt buried deep inside me. Just like the girl who was pacing the hallway, I am wondering about the future. But this time, the feeling of doubt is a comforting reminder that I am not expected to be certain of what is to come. All that I have is the time that is given to me. Five years from now I’ll have another story to tell about how I never could have foreseen the result of moving back to Oklahoma. And I can’t wait to know what it is.

IMAGES COURTESY OF LOLY IN THE SKY

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