4 friends meet for connections at Woods

By Carla Adelmann For the Tribune

LYNDEN — On a cold January morning, I stepped inside Woods Coffee, ordered my drink, and sat down in a big leathery chair right next to a warm fireplace.

Lots of people were engaged in many courses of conversation. People can be found in any coffee house almost anywhere around the world, caring and sharing with people.

Looking around, two mustachioed men engaged in a very serious conversation. At another table were three men and a woman sipping coffee, all with the same smile on their faces, most likely keeping their talk on the light side.

Behind me, two ladies whispered about somebody who did something to someone.

Out of nowhere, four women sat in the three chairs surrounding me, with a fourth who sat on the fireplace. They were obviously excited to see each other and share their lives with one another.

Suddenly I felt a bit awkward being the only person not in a group. Having run out of coffee anyway, I quickly finished the phone game I was playing, and then I stepped out.

When I got home, I researched how connecting with people might be a factor in our emotional and mental well-being. I found a Dr. Emma Seppala, Ph.D., science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education.

On the Stanford Medicine website, Seppala wrote a piece titled “Connectedness and Health: The Science of Social Connection.” She affirms that social connection not only improves emotional and mental well-being, but also improves physical health.

Seppala also showed that the lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking or high blood pressure. The next day I went back to the same coffee shop to talk to some of the regulars. Around the fire, with some form of coffee in their hand, were four kind souls joking and teasing each other in a way that only folks who really know each other well would do. I asked if they would like to share with me.

Rocco Fremolaro spoke first: “I come visit these guys. I like these guys and I learn a lot from them. It’s really cool to be here, you know, and we have good conversations.”

Fremolaro is 73, and after his retirement started his own pressure washing business. For five years, Fremolaro has been coming to Woods to meet with the others.

“Sometimes there’s 11 or 12 of us,” he said. “Even during COVID up to 14 or more of us would meet out in the parking lot. We’d be out in the wind and rain, but we’d sit out there doing that. I wish more people would have small groups like we do.”

Betty Robinson, 89, worked at CAL Tech for years. She is now widowed and lives in Lynden near her children and their families. She’s been coming to Woods for more than 10 years.

“I come and enjoy everybody that’s here, and like Rocco said, sometimes there’s five, sometimes 10, and it’s just nice to come here and talk and communicate with people,” Robinson said. “It’s just nice to have that. You can come seven days a week, and somebody’s always here. I love it.”

Bob Kutsaguitz is from Connecticut, and now drives a garbage truck locally. “This is our family, this is a gathering to let everyone know what’s going on in our lives and in the world, and within the church structure what’s going on in our lives with Jesus. That is very important, and that’s part of our little ministry here.”

Ron Visser was born and raised in Lynden and owned his own dairy farm for years. He now works at Food Pavilion. Visser took the microphone from me and quietly spoke into it; I couldn’t hear what he was saying.

Later, listening to Visser’s words, I clearly saw and really understood why this kind of caring for one another is so vitally important.

“I’ve been coming here about seven or eight years,” he said. “It’s been quite a while. Yeah, it’s fellowship, it’s fun, we tease each other in a good-natured way, and support each other. That’s been especially important to me in the last couple months since my wife passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack. These guys have been so supportive. It’s wonderful and I don’t have the words to describe it. Yeah, I don’t know how people could get along without something like this.”