Comedy Central Jokes
Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider." ?
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forenscientiest. First: Don't fear anything.'' After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. ''Next,'' the professor said, ''you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''
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