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Letters for us, to us, by us
Seniors reflect on their high school years and share their excitement for the future My dearest Alex from the beginning of junior year, There’s a storm coming. Expect at least 50 feet of rain, winds up to a hundred miles per hour and hail the size of basketballs. Guess what? You missed the evacuation. Sit tight, board up the windows and suck it up, girlie. This is going to be a long year. High school lore states that junior year is the hardest academic year of a standard education career. It is painted as “the year that matters for college” by nearly every adult and “hell” by upperclassmen, which is anything but a confidence booster for an anxious high school student. As someone who has been through the “hell” year, I want you to know that everything will turn out OK. You’re going to live through this year, and, though your life will do a full 180, you will find where you belong. On your way, here are some things to keep in mind: Where you go to college doesn’t define the course of your future. The idea that getting into a good school means that you essentially have a golden paved road to success has been pounded into your mind since you started middle school. “Brand name” has little to no effect on the job you will get in your future. It doesn’t matter where you go; what matters is the work you do and the connections that you make. Several successful people have graduated from community colleges or not graduated from college at all. Look at John Walsh of CNN and America’s Most Wanted or Jim Lehrer from PBS. Even Guy Fieri graduated from a junior college with no graduate school. Also, transferring is a pretty common thing that people do. If you aren’t where you want to be, switch. Also, be sure your FERPA status is waived. This is 100 percent my biggest regret of the college application process. It’s a small step that can easily be looked over but DO NOT FORGET ABOUT IT. Accept that you don’t know what FERPA means and accept that you need help figuring it out.
Follow the directions of your counselors because they know much more about this stuff than you do. When you don’t waive your status, you have to send every part of your application separately to each college. It creates a ton of extra work. Trust me, give up your pride and ask for help. The college process is longer than I had originally thought. When you finally submit every single one of your applications, complete with transcripts, SAT scores, teacher recommendations, etc., you’re still not done. You’ll be just chilling someday and you’ll get an email from a college asking for another form, or essay, or supplement or something else that threatens the completion of your application. Take care of yourself throughout this process and prioritize what you really care about. Sometimes you’ll have to get a bad grade on a science quiz because you were completing an application instead of studying. It isn’t worth losing sleep or sanity. This letter is different from the ones I wrote a year ago. It was horrible what happened to you and your family, but without tragedy, I wouldn’t be in the place, physically or mentally, that I am now. I said then that “some people just weren’t built to last, and I need to accept that I’m one.” Now, I can say with full certainty that I was wrong. People aren’t built for anything. We all choose our own futures and can switch the entire makeup of our lives at any point and time. Though it won’t be without consequences, good or bad, it is so important to remember that you don’t owe anything to anyone, and nobody owes anything to you. Where I am right now might seem like your worst nightmare, but you’ll see that you’ve never felt better. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything: not for an Ivy League education, not for a fullride scholarship and not for a six-figure salary. Trust your talent, trust your mind, trust yourself. Alex from the end of senior year
“I wouldn’t trade my life for anything: not for an Ivy League education, not for a full-ride scholarship and not for a six-figure salary.”
28 people
Dear Julia Kay from the past, Be nicer to your parents. Do your homework. Read more. And for the love of God please drink more water. Yes, of course I wish I had the ability to go back and improve in all of these areas, but what I sincerely wish I could tell you is about applying to college. The application process was much different than I ever thought it would be. Up until junior year, applying to college felt elusive, but it started to feel real when I met my first deadline this past fall. The notorious Nov. 1 ran up on me and attacked me from behind, leaving me exhausted and full of numerous regrets. I submitted applications, financial aid information, transcripts and test scores and my brain wanted to spin. Such a long to-do list can drive a person crazy, especially if they’re still in high school. What I wish I would’ve known when I was where you are right now was how applying to college made me feel. If I would have known the stress and self-contemplation that came with the process, I would have made sure to take care of myself better. I want to make it clear that no one tells you just how much a rejection letter hurts. It’s hard for “we are unfortunately not able to offer you admission” to not feel a little personal. And with that, I need you to know that it’s not where you go that defines you, but rather what you do with the opportunities you’re given. If I could approach any given situation again, I would open my decision letters with a little more grace. The college-application process is an ugly one, and it truly brought out your ugly side. Opening rejection letters fed my ego, when in reality I should have felt humbled by the news. As my high school career comes to a close, I’ve had to work to no longer feel regret and take a step down from my high horse. The funny thing is that life doesn’t end after high school, and it also doesn’t end with a rejection letter. I’m tired of being questioned about where
I’m going next. And I’m tired of feeling like my choices aren’t good enough or somehow don’t make me unique in some way. The process made me angry and tired in the end, even though picking out what I want to do next after I graduate should be something exciting. Even though we’ve never felt the pressure from our parents to be an Ivy League student or to make perfect SAT scores, there’s the most obscure pressure that I’ve felt from myself, making me feel like I’ve wasted potential or haven’t worked hard enough in the end. If I could go back to my freshman year, I would be sure to ask myself the following questions and truly internalize my answers to them. Do the colleges I apply to define me? Does my GPA and rank ensure the fact that I’ll be successful later in life? Moving through high school and the highs and lows that have come with it, I’ve started to answer those questions. I want you to know that it’s really important to remember who you are and what your priorities are. I want you to know that it really is going to be OK in the end and that you will end up where you belong. And I want you to know that it’s OK to feel frustrated with higher education because frankly, it’s unfair the way we’ve been pitted against our peers for all of about 10 spots at top-tier colleges. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is to do the things that make you happy and not worry about what others’ opinions are of you. Ever since I stopped caring about what people think about me, my life has been absolutely perfect, and I have had an incredible amount of confidence. Just kidding, it doesn’t work like that. Even though that’s not a realistic depiction as to what happened, I’ve done my best to no longer have regrets for the past. After the application process ended, I started to love the place that I’d gotten to. I’m finally ready to move onto the next phase of my life, and it’s taken a lot of self-acceptance to get here. I really do wish you the best of luck. Best, Julia Kay
“I’m finally ready to move onto the next phase of my life and it’s taken a lot of self-acceptance to get here.”
13 feb. 2020
